#feyjaeyong

[feyseoyun]

fast on their feet; gnashing teeth

tw: blood, npc death, mentions of suicidal thoughts

@feyjaeyong

the snarl that echoed off of dark buildings made his blood turn to ice, freezing him in place. it’s the sound of seoyun’s nightmares, those horrible growls, screams, wet muscle and cracking bone sounds that have haunted him so many years later. in that moment, he forgets everything that isn’t raw, uncompromising fear. 

he knows the feeling of a silver blade in his hand, a tool that was taught to him as a child. but it wasn’t the one that was drilled until it became instinctive. no, the kangs studied the needle and scalpel more diligently. seoyun had been a fair hunter, competent enough when he’s prepared and focused. but this is an ambush. no time to build up his courage, to decide what weapon is best for the enemy at hand, to brush up on skills that he doesn’t practice nearly as much as he should. this is a test of improvisation and seoyun has never been very good at working on the fly.

heavy footsteps pace around him, a slow circular arc. werewolf. he knew it already, but seeing the massive furred body out of the corner of his eye brings a new panic to his chest. this isn’t the full moon, the werewolf shouldn’t be so aggro on a normal human. but it still circles him slowly, hackles raised and lips curled back in a savage snarl. seoyun’s brain starts allowing him to think coherently again just for a moment to realize that the beast is sizing him up, testing just what he is. it should have occurred to him that letting a couple of werewolves live in his home would get their scent all over him. he never thought that he’d be mixed up in the middle of the so called werewolf war.

carefully, he reaches behind him, fingers finding the knife he wears on the back of his belt. even if he hasn’t seen live combat in months, his father’s voice echoes in his head, never leave home without it. it’s silver. it will do against this monster.

he’s slower than a werewolf. he’ll never be as strong. but when the beast finally lunges at him he forgets how powerful they really are, how it only takes a blink of the eye before he can feel the beast’s breath against him. seoyun only gets half a moment to act; old training comes back to him, protect the chest, face, throat, arms up in guard, left arm in front to save his dominant arm from the worst of the attack. he feels teeth on his forearm and seoyun strikes, letting the blade flash against the thick skin of the werewolf’s shoulder.

it makes the beast back off, if only for a moment, but he can feel the punctures in his arm. the wolf must’ve tasted his blood the same way the blade did. they eye each other, size each other up. the creature lunges again, and again seoyun is too slow. it feints, what he thought was going to be another lunge for his neck goes to his leg instead, teeth tearing through his jeans and into the flesh below. he panics. the blade flashes again, this time only glancing off the maw in a shallow cut. the wolf snarls his pain but doesn’t let go. he shakes and seoyun can feel his flesh being ripped from muscle, teeth sinking deeper into his limb. he screams, agonized.

the creature doesn’t let go for more than a moment. it finds another place on  his leg to bury its teeth and shakes again, tearing seoyun apart like a dog toy. he can’t breathe through the pain, through his own screams. seoyun realizes he could die like this, in the jaws of a monster. maybe it’s because it’s a werewolf, or because the pain is too intense to let him go quietly, peacefully. he realizes, despite everything, he doesn’t want to die. at least not like this. he reaches for the werewolf, his blood staining the beast’s fur as he wraps his fingers around the creature’s ear. with a mighty effort, he rides the next great shake, the force rattling the teeth in his head as he wrestles with his own strength to hang onto the monster. with a pained cry, he drives the knife into a yellow-gold eye. the painful howl hasn’t left the werewolf’s lips as the light in the remaining eye goes dark, the brain of the beast irreplaceably damaged by a silver blade.

seoyun can only lay there, his blood mixing with the monster’s as he tries to catch his breath. the wolf still has its mouth around his leg, no life left in those jaws to bite down again. but the last of seoyun’s strength had gone into that final blow, a lifesaving measure that he wasn’t sure he had in him. 

he realizes then that no one is coming for him. no one will look for him if he’s not home for dinner in an hour. not even daeyong or the new werewolf he keeps bringing around. no one answered his screams, made to stop the savage animal attack on the college kid just trying to take a shortcut home. he could die here, he realizes, bleed out before anyone even knows he’s gone. the thought terrifies him in a way that it hasn’t in a long time.

with his good arm, he fishes through his pocket. by some miracle, his phone is still there, albeit with the screen shattered at some point in the skirmish. at least it turns on. location, he thinks first, unsure if he’ll be able to give directions even if someone picks up his call. he shares it. and then mashes the call button. he can feel the cold setting in, his heartrate picking up. shock. this isn’t good.

“jae?” he doesn’t wait for a voice on the other end, speaking as soon as the ringing stops, “i need- i need- help-”

[yujinfey]

—JAEYONG⋆ˊˎ

yet again, he doesn’t wait for a response, tossing the keys to yujin instead, counting on him to catch them (and to not take this opportunity to steal his car.)

tw: blood

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ —

this is already a little surreal, but listening to jaeyong start to talk about vampires is something that he hadn’t expected to be a conversation between them, when they first met, through all of the things that they talked about. he eyes the ring when jaeyong shows it to him, listening quietly and watching it gently glow in the presence of himself, effectively giving him away. he’s seen objects like it before, even had experience with jewelry and imbuing it with certain properties, thinks of the necklace he gave sunkyu on his birthday— and it’s all very different than this.

walking alongside him, he tries to think of all of the things that he’s put into the world, wonders if any of them are used in the ways that jaeyong uses his ring, swallows and feels a wave of nausea run through him, and tries to effectively push that thought down and away and out of his mind, feels the shake in his hands start and so he shoves them into his pockets instead to find some kind of semblance of control.

he tells him that he probably wouldn’t want to know, and he’s right. he doesn’t. he doesn’t think he could handle it.

jaeyong’s humor proves to pull him out of his mind effectively, garnering him a small chuckle past his lips. yujin thinks he would be least convincing vampire ever, and when he mentions that he could be a werewolf, he only starts laughing more. enough for him to bend over with it, hand pulled from his pocket to splay against his stomach as it echoes into the night. “well.. i guess you’ve got your intel, then,” he says, eyes catching back on that ring again, and then back up to jaeyong, smiling with all teeth.

“i think my only mistake was possibly running into you when you were wearing the ring, but i couldn’t of really seen that coming, so. i guess it’s mostly coincidence, otherwise i might’ve just continued to fly right under your radar,” yujin reasons, and he feels like usually he does tend to be hard to pick out unless someone knows or they’re looking, just because he doesn’t use his magic often, and he doesn’t really.. think he looks like a witch. he’s not sure if there’s anything identifiable that way, since they’re so close to humans that there really isn’t much of a notable difference. though it makes yujin wonder if there’s a certain way witches just tend to present themselves.

yujin continues to listen to him quietly, shrugging his shoulders. “i’ll probably forget by tomorrow, if that’s any consolation,” he says, and his memory does tend to be pretty bad, nothing that he tries to do on his own. “i don’t interact with.. vampires and werewolves often, but even then i can’t usually tell. i’m used to mostly just.. assuming everyone is human, because how.. likely would it be that i run into others when there’s so many people in seoul? but..” he trails off, and thinks about how all of this seems to be more closely connected then he ever thinks. maybe it’s a part of him trying to think that it’s more spread out, that maybe everything that his parents sell don’t stay in the vicinity of the city, like if they go farther away somehow yujin is able to pretend it doesn’t exist easier.

it’s here that yujin spots a difference between them— thinks if he was given the option to quit working for his parent’s business, if he could quit having to take it over, then he would. in a moment. he doesn’t think he has any attachments to any of this any longer, doesn’t see himself ever having a moment he’d regret it. the only reason he hasn’t left yet is because he doesn’t want to spend the rest of his life running from them, doesn’t want to subject sunkyu to that, either, and doesn’t know any other possible way out. yujin knows he doesn’t know the whole story with jaeyong, and so he lets it settle in the air between them. “then if you do— i know one day, you’ll be able to,” he tells him, because he does believe that. if jaeyong really wants it.

at his car, yujin is listening to him ask him for a favor and then reaching up to catch his keys a moment later. “yeah—” is what he gets out as he does, and he’s just grinning at him a moment later, keys in his hand, at the fact that he’d managed to get them. he unlocks the car and pulls open the door, retrieving the towel as he’d asked for and bringing it out. while he’s got both in his hands, he wipes off any remnants on the keys and on his hands and tries not to think about it— thinks about the night that he’d come home to sunkyu covered in his own blood and the way that they had both held each other, shaking. remembers falling asleep to the steady rise and fall of sunkyu’s chest, anchoring himself in that moment to that singular pinpoint, to keep his thoughts from wandering, to calm himself down enough to sleep.

he offers the towel to jaeyong once he’s finished. “i wish i knew more how to.. help you so you could get home without it getting all over your car, at least,” yujin says with his eyebrows furrowed, and he isn’t sure he knows any spells he could do quickly enough to help aid him. he lets his hands fall to his sides, still holding his keys so he can at least wipe everything off without them getting dirty again.

he’s dragged back to that night again. the blood he had gotten all over his car seats, scrubbing it out the next morning. taking back that velvet pouch of potions to his parents and only returning later that night with barely any energy left— the way he had gotten as far as their couch before he had let himself crumble, which was at least farther than the night before, when he had slid down to his knees in the doorway. yujin’s not sure if it won’t ever stop lingering in his mind, the way that sunkyu had looked at him, the way that he had wiped away his blood with his hands like it was something they were meant to share, like yujin wasn’t supposed to handle it all on his own.

“do you.. live with anyone?” he mumbles, curious if jaeyong has someone to go home to, as well. “i know you’ve mentioned someone before, but i didn’t know if you lived together,” yujin mentions, and it’s all mostly just been talked about inbetween all that they’ve said, but never anything in detail enough compared to everything else.

even with how much he wishes that sunkyu never had to deal with the things that he does, that they do, he thinks of how grateful he is to have him right there with him, kneeling down on the ground with shaking hands and the smell of blood and to not have him run away. he knows that somehow he could’ve figured out a way to do it on his own— maybe, maybe, but sunkyu makes it so much more easier to pick himself back up, to remind him, to hold him close and convince him maybe this isn’t what he deserves, to not wallow so long in the darkness.

he’s not sure how he’ll ever make sure that sunkyu knows just how much— and so he vows to stay with him as long that he can, to protect him, to keep him safe, to make sure that he’s happy, as the only way that he thinks he could ever repay him for all that he means to yujin. he hopes that it’s enough.

@feyjaeyong

[feysuji-blog]

tall orders

suji is used to the daily, sometimes twice daily slew of regulars that come through on her shift; business types hoping for a jolt of energy, teens seeking to create the trendiest, sugariest drink to go viral. it’s predictable, low energy, and easy pocket change that suji doesn’t necessarily need but always collects.

and recently, there’s another predictable patron, who sometimes seems more interested in her than any orders he places. it’s harmless, she thinks at first, the fun banter brightening her day and maybe looking forward to the familiar face as a breath of fresh air in the monotony. he’s kind of cute, in a conventionally attractive sort of way, and there’s a certain air of mystery to him that piques her curiosity.

she clocks out early today, pastry box filled with perfectly good snacks that the policy time has declared stale tucked under her arm as suji strides across the cafe to jaeyong’s small table, plunking them down and taking the seat across him. “so,” she begins, propping her head up with her hand. “what brings you here today?” 

@feyjaeyong

[feyjisung]

slump

the only place jisung feels at peace, as of late, has been his band’s practice room. it’s where his creativity flows, the place where he can breathe and just pour everything into music, instead of having to pretend he’s incapable of emotions, of feeling. and as much as he knows he can’t fully trust at least two of his band members, simply because he doesn’t know whether they’d turn on him with a knife or not, it’s easy to set that aside and focus on the music instead whenever they’re in this room.

there’s really no set practice session for the day, so it’s no surprise that the room is more empty than usual. what’s surprising, is that ( @feyjaeyong ) is here—they don’t usually share the room when there’s no one else there. jisung doesn’t actively avoid the older, they’re bandmates after all, but he doesn’t let himself stay around jaeyong’s presence for too long either, especially if he’s on his own. walking out would be suspicious though, and jisung doesn’t feel like leaving yet, so here he remains.

he’s eyeing the shelf that looms over him, frowning when he realises the music sheets he needs were left up there. who put them there? whoever it was, jisung isn’t in the mood to ask jaeyong for help, not that he’s ever in the mood to do so. he stands on his tiptoes, reaching out for the sheets, grumbling a little to himself. why isn’t he taller?

jisung’s luck just keeps running out, it seems, because the next thing he knows, he accidentally stepped on a dent on the floor—and he trips, like the cursed bastard he is. of course he has to slip in front of jaeyong of all people. “seriously,” he mumbles from the ground, still unaware of the scar that showed itself because jisung conveniently decided not to wear an oversized sweater today of all days. typical.

[feyseoyun]

do you know?

@feyjaeyong​

content warning: drug mentions, not really a hospital but might seem like it, injury

he wakes up in an unfamiliar bed. the angle hue of the lights aren’t the same as what he expects in his own bedroom. he studies a ceiling of which he doesn’t know how to read any of the cracks, as if in another country in a language he doesn’t understand. seoyun is confused every time he drags himself back into consciousness, prescription-grade painkillers and a general weariness slowing a normally sharp mind. he’ll remember soon enough, from the feeling of sheets that don’t belong to him, to the faint herbal scent that doesn’t belong to his own home but is familiar all the same. he’s in huangjun’s apartment, this time as the patient. and in the same moment he remembers where he is, he recalls why he’s there. he feels like he’s been hit by a semi truck. maybe being mauled by a werewolf is a comparable experience.

the medicine makes his mouth feel dry. he turns, looking for a water cup, and finds company at his bedside instead. looking at jaeyong hurts in a way too. a dull ache, not nearly as painful as the slow to heal gashes in his limbs, but heavy and present all the same. he’s quiet, like he’s trying not to be noticed, as he reaches for his water. the cup is heavier than he remembers, either refilled while he slept or what’s left of his limbs yet to find their strength now that he’s awake, or some combination of both.

his head is fuzzy from the medication; he probably told his caretakers to give him too large of a dose. seoyun can’t blame himself; he’s only halfway to being a doctor and he’s missing clinicals while bound to this sickbed. he’ll be behind when he’s finally able to return to classes. he’ll have to repeat the semester. but maybe that’s not too bad; maybe he’ll end up in clinicals with kyuhwan if recovery takes long enough. he wouldn’t mind it too much as long as he had a friend there with him. maybe he’d know how to prescribe the right dose of medication to himself if he was able to attend his classes, though.

far-away eyes finally focus in on jaeyong, trying to figure out what exactly he’s doing there. tending to the injured seoyun, obviously, but why right now? why not stuck to huangjun’s side where he so clearly belongs? even that thought sends a painful ache through seoyun’s chest. has he ever belonged by anyone’s side? will he ever? the sigh he breathes is long, sending painful shudders through him where aching ribs expand and contract.

“do you know why?” he speaks without thinking, without first checking if jaeyong is awake, or listening, or even cares about anything he has to say. no, he’s numb to everything. there’s nothing left in this world that can hurt him any worse than he already has been, even if he makes a fool of himself while high as a kite in his ex-boyfriend’s new lover’s apartment. “i loved you. and i like you now.” 

[feyseoyun]

point blank.

@feyjaeyong

halloween can be fun. sexy costumes, a night to embrace one’s comfort in their own skin or a night to step out of it. the kang seoyun of the last couple years would usually find himself in one of seoul’s many clubs, chest thumping to a loud baseline and head floating somewhere above the crowd, light from the alcohol in his veins.

the hunter’s moon, however, hasn’t been fun for seoyun in several years.

at one point it was a time to test his skills, his way to prove himself among his hunting peers in the kang clan and greater hunter community alike. it was a night of gruesome wounds to try to stitch up and terrible creatures to put down. but when his father went on a hunt and came back only to fall to pieces, the full moon has lost so much of it’s shine.

it’s why he looks at jaeyong, the boy he usually hates with his entire being the other 364 nights of the year, with knowing concern now. daeyong never came home after last year’s hunter’s moon. seoyun knows what it’s like to lose family, but he can only imagine that it’s that much worse to lose your twin, your other half. he knows that if he asks jaeyong outright, the other will say he’s completely fine. it doesn’t matter that seoyun doesn’t buy that and jaeyong knows it. it doesn’t matter how many sleepless nights both of them must have spent thinking about werewolf fangs and the fates of their loved ones. all that matters to jaeyong tonight is how many supernatural heads he brings in and winning the first hunter’s moon on halloween in their lifetimes.

he doesn’t try to bring it up with jaeyong. it’s suspicious enough that he’s willingly talking to him without a biting remark on his tongue. but it’s not so unusual for them to hang around each other, like all the hunters in their early 20s tend to. they can brag and boast and complain as a pack until the time comes where competition makes them forget all of the friendships they forged in the previous hours.

“just try not to get killed, song jaeyong,” seoyun grumbles, as he always does at jaeyong these days. “i’m gonna have my hands full with dumbass mcgee, disgrace of the jin clan. i already see it coming.”

[yujinfey]

answers only/for monsters

—JAEYONG⋆ˊˎ

“would you mind walking with me? thanks,” jaeyong doesn’t give yujin a chance to answer before he starts walking, simply expects him to follow or maybe run from him. jaeyong’s number one mission now, however, is to make sure yujin is the only one that catches him. they’re friends, after all. what secrets is yujin willing to keep for him? that may be the most interesting answer of all.

tw: blood

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ —

yujin had gone to the bar on a whim.

it was another late night, and maybe he was walking for awhile, now, losing track of the hours with his hands jammed in his pockets. he hadn’t expected to run into anyone. he hadn’t expected to run into jaeyong, either. he had seen the sign for the bar and decided to give it a try, but as soon as he passes an alleyway right before it, there he is, stepping out from the shadows. there’s a flash of recognition over his features, then. he sees the blood.

he thinks about monsters, about a night filled with smoke in an entirely different place, in another alleyway, and thinks about how all of that led to here. he remembers the tightness of his throat, he remembers the heat in his hands, he remembers going home and washing them clean over and over to try and get rid of the feeling to be met with no remedy.

he finds himself devoid of words, so he listens, instead. it slowly all slides into place. it makes him think how small the world must be, that the two of themselves find each other in this position, knowing how this world is composed of a lot more than meets the eye. yujin reminds himself he doesn’t know the whole story here, but he also tells himself that it’s probably exactly what he thinks. it’s not a hard thing to piece together— he’s a hunter.

yujin wonders if he knew, this whole time, that he was a witch. figures for all of his monster that he barely let reveal to him in the times that they’ve talked wasn’t enough to come in the way of their friendship. his resulting question makes laughter bubble up out his chest, filling up the space between them and leaking out into the night. “no. if anything, i’d be just as insane as you,” he answers, means, yes, i do know about all of this, and maybe he laughed to break the tension here, maybe because he’s a little nervous, maybe because he hadn’t expected any of this, always has had a hand in things but never saw the results. to be standing in front of jaeyong like this, it’s all a little too visceral.

all he can smell is copper, heavy in the air. it fills up his senses and makes every inch of him feel like he’s standing on an edge, slipping his hands from his pockets just so he can flex his fingers, curl them into fists in the cool night air.

he asks him to follow him. it’s a moment later that he traces right after his footsteps and falls into place beside him.

“so.. small world, huh?” yujin mumbles, and maybe now isn’t the time for him to try and joke, but maybe he also has a penchant for trying to make light in situations when he isn’t sure what else to do. “did you.. know about me before this, or are you just finding out right now like i am?” he asks, because he’s curious, and it has never come up before this. yujin didn’t even have a clue that jaeyong could’ve.. known about all of this. he thinks back to their conversation that night and more of the pieces fall into place. he wonders if jaeyong is thinking the same.

“i guess, then, the question could be— who’s the bigger monster? born or made, maybe it’s really about which one is more. though.. that feels. hard to measure. and a question i don’t know if i really want the answer to, between us,” he muses, and his boots feel heavy on his feet, sound loud against the pavement as he follows jaeyong, unsure on where they’ll end up. probably somewhere to hide all of the red, out of the light. yujin wonders how many nights jaeyong has ended up like this.

wonders how many nights he had come home himself weary from his parents, covered in chalk and charcoal with lines of spells echoing in his mind, fingertips meticulously following line by line, piece by piece, finally collapsing at his apartment with no energy left, simply an echo of the man he had woken up the day as. maybe he doesn’t have blood on his hands, but he still handed over the perfectly bottled potions, he still read out the spells.

he doesn’t really know all of the protocols for this. in the face of danger, he usually found himself running, as the type of magic that he could do quickly usually lended to that sort of scenario, if he absolutely had to. it wasn’t often, but he knew he could do it, if it was necessary. not for himself, no, but if anyone else needed it, if he could save somebody else, protect them, then in those moments, he tries to swallow any ounce of anxiety that wells up inside of him— he could not just sit to the side and hope for the best. it’s not the type of person that he could be. funny, how he chooses this willingly yet still causes these situations in other places, between other people, chooses the ignorance that he never sees what happens, lets his parents make the deals and know the details and he just answers to their will. it’s another thing he tries not to think about.

yujin fiddles with his lip ring. a nervous habit. “do you.. know what i am then?” he asks quietly, and wonders if jaeyong would even want to know, at this point. he guesses it might be fair, though he doesn’t have much in the way of proving it, having never been the type to showcase his magic even with the smallest of spells.

something his parents would probably object to, but it’s another thing yujin lets cross his mind and fade away.

he’s messing with his rings, too, and tries to calm himself down, doesn’t know why he’s having this sort of reaction. it’s not like he doesn’t always have it in the back of his mind, that someone else he meets could know about this world, know about him and who he really is, but he does usually tend to operate like whoever he meets is human, and unaware of it. having all of it revealed to him so quickly is probably what is making him like this, the fact that he had been so completely thrown off by the fact. there’s a smaller part of him, too, that wonders if they’ll still be able to be friends, if jaeyong would even still want him involved in his life, in some way, wonders how all of this will work.

he takes a moment to look up at the stars. the same as the other night, twinkling quietly against an inky backdrop, and yujin holds his breath. lets it go. decides to let things happen as they may, even if he has no clue how they’re going to play out.

all of this talk about monsters, and yujin can only think about what even makes someone human in the first place.

@feyjaeyong

[yujinfey]

—JAEYONG⋆ˊˎ

quickly, however, he skirts past it. he looks back over at yujin, and says, “but that’s part of the fun, isn’t it? of getting to know someone?” he grins.

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ —

his answer makes him laugh, a burst of it past his lips, and he knows that he’s being vague and more unhelpful than anything, it all doesn’t make much sense. “some of those things— i don’t even know where to start, to be honest. i don’t even know if i could say it,” yujin mumbles, and he’s not sure if there’s ever going to be a moment in his life that even thinking about it doesn’t make his mouth go bitter.

“maybe. maybe i’ll be able to make up for it i just.. have to figure out what that looks like,” he answers, and mostly what comes to his own mind is sunkyu, and if protecting him, if the rest of his life looks like making him happy, if that’s enough retribution to make up for all that he’s done. there’s a small part of him that hopes for it. hopes that it’s enough. that he can be.

he’s playing with the rings on his fingers, spinning them round and round. “maybe monsters don’t, but i don’t know if that makes me any less of one just because i feel.. i feel like this about it. if it did, then i would’ve stopped having nightmares a long time ago,” yujin says, and there’s a bit of a laugh coming from his chest, but it’s still a bit empty. he sees all of the smoke that billows from jaeyong smoking and wonders if he should start. if it would help him feel like he could exhale and let go of all of this, if it would give him some sort of conclusion that helps him make his peace with things in some sort of visceral sense.

his eyebrows furrow and he wonders— he always considered that if sunkyu could have a better life, it would be without him. that somehow it could be better without yujin always dragging him down, but he wonders if sunkyu would even look back if he moved on without him. he wonders if he’d watch him eventually drown and it makes everything feel even worse. he’d never want him to see that, or think about it, or feel worried about him, if he even still did if he left, and. yujin can barely think about him leaving. it feels like it leaves something empty and barren in his chest, and. sunkyu is a piece of him that he’ll never be able to get back, if he leaves. he knows that for a fact from a long time ago.

“i wouldn’t want him to see anything like that. i wouldn’t want him to even— think about me. i’d just want him to be happy. but then i. maybe it’s selfish, but i don’t want to imagine what it would be like to not have him in my life. i can’t even really. think about it,” he says, and even just speaking about it like this makes yujin feel distinctly cold, like every fire in him was doused with water and he was dark, shivering embers.

sunkyu is not just a part of him, in some ways, he is also someone who makes him want to be better. who reminds him of the light. who makes him want to run, who makes him want to get up out of bed. he’d chase sunsets and fireworks and something better out there, if it’s even possible, to see sunkyu smile, and it’s just one of the many reasons why he’s so important to him.

all he can do is hum a bit— yujin is mostly grateful to have someone to speak to, even if he isn’t sharing all of the details, speaking all of this out into the smoke and the night feels like he finally took a moment to stop constantly moving away from everything and stand right in front of it.

when he tells him he doesn’t know what he is, yujin can only look up, peering through the smoke to see his expression, and he raises an eyebrow, and knows that it’s fair. maybe he doesn’t know who jaeyong is, and jaeyong doesn’t know who he truly is, either, but maybe someday he’ll know a little better just what lies behind all of his words.

“you’re right. it is part of the fun,” he returns, and he looks up to the stars, takes a breath. he feels like he’s been out here for hours and minutes at the same time, unable to tell the expanse of time they’ve taken to talk.

“getting to know the monster, and all of that,” yujin laughs, and he wishes he had more to do with his hands. there’s still the dull clammer of everyone inside, and yujin slides his hands into his pockets instead, gestures towards the door they came out from with a shoulder.

“do you want to go back inside? i think i need another drink,” he says it with a grin, teeth glinting in the dark, and if he ever wondered if there was a part of him that made him look even remotely like a monster— well. it might be that quirk of his mouth when he’s about to do something he knows is bad for him. it’s then, all teeth, that makes him look like he belongs in the dark he lets himself slip into, again and again.

@feyjaeyong