pms? tender breasts? don't worry, your κ°devotedκ± boyfriend satoru gojo is happy to be your personal bra for the day ౨ৠ1.1k
fluff ; crack ; suggestive art by @/Rezijellyfish0
It was a morning like any other.
You woke up curled right into your boyfriend Satoru Gojo's side, practically on top of him on the comfortable double bed. You didn't really have much room, not with his habit of lying down like a starfish, but you couldn't blame him β his long limbs just needed to take up all the space every night, and so you were forced to use your boyfriend as a pillow, of course.
Your favourite pillow.
You were awfully comfortable like this, nuzzling into his broad chest as the morning light started to bleed in through the half open window. Yes, so comfortable you could just drift away again... until.
Until those long limbs started to close in towards you.
That was another one of his morning habits, you see. Even for how spread out he liked to sleep, as soon as Satoru started to drift back into consciousness β you were the first thing he'd search for.
In his half asleep haze he closed his arms around you, squeezing you into him with all his might, letting out the most satisfied of hums. Not you, however β the sound that escaped your mouth was somewhere between a yelp and a cry for help.
"Baby?!" Satoru sprung into consciousness in a second. "What's wrong?!"
His bright blue eyes snapped open to see you pouting at him, hands over your already very sore breasts that he had painfully squeezed against his side. "Oh" he frowned, understanding. "It's that week, isn't it?"
You nodded slowly, letting Satoru manoeuvre you on your back so he could rest on his elbow next to you. When you first found out he was tracking your cycle you did call him a freak, but to be honest, it was worth it with how gentle he was with you now.
"Is it really bad?" he asked, tracing soft lines over your collarbone with his free hand. His touch was feather light, his hand apologising to your tender skin.
"It hurts" you exhaled, letting your head sink into the pillow with a long sigh. "They feel heavy"
"Heavy?" Satoru echoed, very obviously looking down to your chest. Naturally, you pinched him. "Ow! What was that for?"
"I'm in pain and you want to check if they're bigger?!" you growled, ready to throw a pillow right on his stupid white hair.
"No no no, you know I think theyβre perfectβ Satoru apologised immediately, peppering kisses all over your face. "It was for science only"
"Sure" you rolled your eyes, but you couldn't keep the angry act for long, not with your boyfriend's puppy dog eyes so close to your face.
"I mean it, I only want to help" he said, sitting up. And you did believe him β your boyfriend had been trying his best since he figured out how difficult pms was for you.
Last month, he even bought you a personalised hot water bottle with both your initials on it. Baby blue, of course.
You weren't sure who else would be confusing their hot water bottle for yours anyway, but its the gesture that counts.
"Come here baby, I'll help you up" he called to you with wide open arms, but as soon as he started to pull you up, you groaned again. "Is it that bad?" he grimaced, seeing your hands go back to holding onto your sore breasts.
Unfortunately, it was.
"It's ok" you tried to deflect, feeling bad for how worried he seemed. "You don't have to worry about mβ"
"None of that" Satoru pouted. "Does that help?" he nodded to your hands, clearly some sort of plan starting to form in that head of his.
"Kind of" you replied, massaging yourself. "Should probably put on a bra" you sighed.
"In bed?!" Satoru shook his messy white hair side to side. "It's unfair" he completed solemnly. And you agreed with him.
But then he opened up his mouth again, with that tone he employed when he was going to suggest something... unusual.
"Why don't you...let me help?"
That made you stop halfway, turning up to look at him. "What do you mean?"
"Justβ¦ come here" he said, extending those pale fingers to you. You had one raised eyebrow, but let him do what he had intended β and soon his large palms were closing around your breasts.
"Pervert" you deadpanned.
"You said it helped!" he argued.
You took a moment, considering. You were very used to your boyfriend touching you everywhere, of course, but you had never seen him look so commited about it. It was almost endearing, in a kind of, um, odd way.
"So, what, you'll just be my personal bra today?" you teased.
"If you want me to" he nodded.
"Aren't your arms getting tired?" you narrowed your eyes at him.
"Baby, this is what I train for" he replied smugly.
You let out a little laugh, enjoying your boyfriend's silly plan and how serious he was about it. "You can't possibly keep this up" you joked.
"Wanna bet?"
You shouldn't have said yes. But of course you did.
The rest of the day was spent with Satoru glued to you β more so than usual. "You're enjoying this" you poked him as he stood with his chin on top of your head and his hands right where he promised they'd be, watching you make your morning coffee.
"You wound me, princess" he pretended to sigh. "This is for your own good"
Sure it was.
Later you sat down to watch TV, and Satoru placed you right on his lap, before his hands returned to your chest. "You're ridiculous" you laughed, his chin heavy on your shoulder this time and your back to his chest.
"Is it helping?" he asked.
In truth, it was. He was warm and soft and much more comfortable than a real bra; and walking around like you had been cursed into attachment was lifting your mood as much as it was annoying you too.
His eccentric ways were just one of the things you loved about your boyfriend, after all.
Of course, this all got a bit too ridiculous when you announced you were going to shower, and got followed by the white haired giant all the way into the bathroom. "You can't be serious" you looked up at him.
"I only want to helβOw! Ok, I'll be outside"
You laughed, seeing his pout as he closed the door behind him. It was adorable how devoted he was to this stupid plan β and you also couldn't deny you missed his loving touch as soon as he had let go of you.
Maybe he could help you shower too. He only wanted you to feel better, right?
"Satoru" you called, not even surprised when the door opened before you had even finished saying his name.
"Need me?" he grinned from ear to ear.
You would have pinched him again if he wasn't so damn adorable.
my boobs feel like they're about to explode and this is what came of it I don't know what else to say
track twenty-five: if you're gone | prev track< | setlist
three rockstars! one you!
synopsis: your best friend has always been an asshole - whether it's in his band or in his bed. him ditching you? nothing new. but when one bedroom door closes, another one opens
pairings: rockstar!Suguru Geto x f!Reader x childhood fwb!Sukuna (+ rockstar!gojo!!)
content: mdni, angst and fluff, rockstar au!, complicated relationships and messy emotions, avoidant attachment, HEAVY PINING AND YEARNING, denying feelings, reader is a mess, conflicting emotions, more of all them suffering, tension and teasing
a/n: art by @torucider !! div by @/tsumiinum
There had to be an ending to the seemingly bottomless pit of bad decisions you'd been making lately.
But every day you were more fucking scared you weren't at rock bottom yet.
How much lower could you go?
Especially when you were already sitting at your ex's dining table and ignoring the constant buzzing of your phone on the closest counter.
Why look when you knew what would be waiting there?
Sukuna asking you to come back. To speak to him like a mature adult instead of acting like an avoidant child who couldn't handle confrontation.
But if you did, would that be it?
Inviting the real ending you'd been desperately trying to ignore?
"Shoko said she'd keep the girls tonight," Suguru called out, examining a bottle of wine before putting it back on his nice rack and grabbing a different one.
You were surprised he still bought the brand you liked.
A little stunned at how smoothly you seemed to slip back into the old swing of things. He had picked you up from the street less than ten minutes after you called, hurrying to open the door for you and asking you what felt like a hundred questions all to confirm you were really okay before bringing you back home.
You lied, of course.
Okay was no longer a word that could be applied to you. But being back with him was about as close as you could get.
He took you back to his place, half-shoved you into the bathroom with that stern stare of his, insisting that you take a warm shower and get changed while he washed your wet clothes. By the time you got back out, food had already been delivered. Sit out all nicely on the table as if this was some pre-planned get together instead of him rescuing you from yourself once more.
"I'm sorry for calling you like that," you awkwardly apologized, curling up in the seat as you opened up your to-go box, a comforting scent wafting up from it.
"You can always call me," he casually replied, unbothered by you just intruding on his evening. "If you need me-"
You didn't want to need him.
To need any of them.
You used to be completely fucking fine on your own. And here you were, shivering and feeling like a total stranger in someone else's home because you couldn't handle your problems by yourself.
"You can take my bed. I'll sleep on the couch," Suguru continued, offering up even more assistance as you tried to train yourself not to let the heat rise to your face at his unnecessary generosity.
"I'm really-"
"I'm not trying to be an asshole, but do you really think you should be alone right now?" He asked, arching up an eyebrow as he poured himself a glass of wine.
You hesitated, swallowing your pride as you considered the unfortunately not entirely unlikely possibility you'd end up on the phone with Satoru or Sukuna if he returned you to the lonely apartment thatstill didn't really feel like home.
"Just pour me a drink too," you muttered.
Suguru was too nice to say no to you.
Even though he probably knew as well as you that you weren't going to find what you wanted in the bottom of a wine glass.
You watched his hands when he grabbed you the cup you used to like back when you practically lived here, how the veins and tendons flexed as he carefully poured a pitiful amount in, like he didn't want you to think he was trying to get you drunk.
Your cautious man still playing his own games. Still preoccupied with how things looked - and you got stuck in how things were.
How were you ever supposed to get to how you wanted them to be?
"Can I ask why you called me?" Suguru finally asked the one question he'd been avoiding as he took the seat next to yours, taking a sip out of his glass as the hard edge of the table pressed into your calves. Knees scrunched close to your chest, stabbing purposelessly at the food in your box as you tried to think of an excuse that wouldn't make this whole thing, well, messier.
"You were who I thought of," you shrugged your shoulders, biting your lip as the scent of him clung to your skin. His t-shirt hanging loose on your frame, skin still damp and sticky as you shuffled in the familiar kitchen seat.
For a second, you felt like you were back in the therapist's office, heart laid bare for someone to break, feeling the scrutiny of his dark stare, no matter how much he softened it for you.
"Does Sukuna know you're here?" He carefully asked, like he was trying to decide if he was going to get assaulted again just for playing your knight.
"No," you muttered. Even if he could probably guess it if he went back to the apartment he bought you and discovered it empty.
He had predicted it too, hadn't he?
That you'd run off to someone else? Seeking comfort in places you shouldn't be instead of finding it in yourself?
"Should I make sure the door's locked?" He tried to joke, and you didn't even have it in yourself to smile.
"I might deadbolt it," you dryly muttered, stabbing at the food and popping it in your mouth.
His small smirk faltered, and you wished you could make it easier for him.
You wished you could make it easier for all of them.
Sure, they hurt you. Okay, well, Sukuna and Suguru had. But it was getting harder and harder to hold onto it. Not when all of the anguish felt like acid on your tongue, seeping down your throat and burning your stomach the longer it sat inside of you.
If you weren't so fucked up, if you had your shit figured out a little more, wouldn't you save all four of you so much heartache?
"What happened today?" Suguru pressed, and you could only shrug your shoulders.
"I, uh, went to therapy," you mumbled, biting down on the inside of your cheek before admitting the tougher part, "With Sukuna."
"Oh."
Yeah.
You supposed you should've seen it for the monumentally awful idea it was from the start instead of just accepting to acquiesce Sukuna after the whole 'surprising you with a brand new fucking apartment' thing.
"Guess it didn't go well?" He wryly replied, and you almost rolled your eyes.
"That obvious?" You exhaled, pushing the food around before forcing yourself to look up at him. "I kinda ran away."
"You tend to do that," Suguru unhelpfully remarked, your lips pressing in a thin line as you found yourself tempted to fling a forkful of food back at him.
"You're so funny," you sarcastically commented, squinting at him just for him to give you that annoyingly charming smirk you wouldn't admit you missed.
"And yet you're not saying I'm wrong," he hummed, bringing his wine glass back to his lips.
Taking a swig of your own was better than agreeing with him.
Letting the bitter taste takeover your tongue so you didn't have to stew on the regret festering there already. All the what-ifs being back in his house brought up, wondering how things might have played out if you just made a few different decisions back then.
"You know," Suguru continued when he carefully placed his glass back down. "Shoko knows a couple good ones, if you didn't like the therapist or-"
It was sweet of him to assume the therapist was the problem instead of you.
"You might benefit more from some solo sessions," he kept going, still trying to take care of you long after you left him. Picking up all the broken pieces and doing his best to glue them back together.
Was it guilt?
Or had losing you simply made him a better person?
Jesus, this fucking sucked.
How come they only got their shit together after you? Why couldn't they work it out when you were with them? Why were you the only one still shattered?
You never asked for either of them.
They had given themselves to you and fucking screwed you over once it was done.
"Can you be, like, awful for five minutes?" You huffed, scowling at him as you forced a sharp exhale out of your nose.
His lips parted in a surprised 'o', dark eyes narrowing like he was trying to work out what you meant by that. "Why-"
"It's so annoying that you get to be all mature and perfect after we break up," you admitted, picking at your cuticles beneath the table as you glanced back to where your purse was laying on its side.
"Perfect?"
"It's so infuriating sometimes," you mumbled under your breath, shaking your head as you interrupted him, about to reiterate that he was infuriating before he let out a low chuckle.
"Do you want me to be mean to you?" He offered in that honeyed voice of his.
"I want to be mad at you," you muttered, feeling a lot more defeated than you expected.
"You can be mad at me," he calmly accepted it, evenly meeting your stare as if you being upset was better than the alternative of you feeling nothing at all for him.
You tried to switch to ignoring him.
Finishing your food with a tight-lipped frown and polishing off the wine even though it just left an uncomfortable heat compressing your chest. You slipped out of your chair to go throw away the styrofoam box, but Suguru just had to get up and do it for you, leaving you awkwardly standing there and swallowing your feelings.
Tempted to ask what now?
Were you supposed to sit on the couch together and watch tv like old times? Ask him to just take you back home anyway? Go back to the bed he used to fuck you in and pretend you couldnβt smell him on the sheets?
You ended up awkwardly leaning against the wall while you watched him clean up, trying to find something wrong to bicker about.
But god, heβd forgiven you for fucking his best friend.
Comforted you and came when you called and took care of you even when you werenβt his anymore.
βMaybe Shoko could refer me to someone,β you muttered.
You needed help.
The kind that you had to find on your own. With the help of a licensed professional.
βIβll text her,β he replied, a hint of pride bleeding through his voice as you folded your arms across your chest.
What happened to the independent girl you used to be? The one who was too stubborn to admit it when you were out of your depth? What happened to everything you used to be?
The strangest part was that you weren't even sure you wanted to go back to being her. She let Sukuna break her heart. And then handed over what was left of it to Suguru so he could take a few swings at it too.
But even now, being around him like this, watching him walk around like you were reliving in an old memory, you were the tiniest bit tempted to go back to the old days. Just for one night.
You could see it now.
Almost feel how solid his hands would be on your waist, how warm his chest would be when you were pinned underneath it.
It would be so simple, wouldn't it?
To let him pick you up and cradle you close? To call him by his name and let him whisper yours in that tender voice of his?
He wouldn't feel like home. But he'd feel close enough to safe to settle the storm still wearing you down and ripping through your rattled bones.
Suguru caught you staring as he finished up, thin brows knitting together as he walked over to you, one hand reaching for his pocket for his cigarettes before he remembered that they weren't there anymore.
"I'm not sleeping with you," he murmured softly, as if he wasn't looking down at your lips as like he could still remember the taste of them.
"I didn't ask you to," you whispered back, like you weren't looking at his either. And then he reached out, like he was going to cup your cheek and caress you the same way he used to.
"Angel," he gently spoke, sighing as his palm stopped just shy of your cheek. "You know you have to pick."
"I know," you confessed.
You couldn't keep doing this.
"I will still do whatever I can to support you and fix the mess I made," he reassured, swallowing hard as he steeled his resolve. "But you're just hurting yourself."
And he was too selfless to say you were hurting him too, even though you could see the pain shining in his deep stare.
You wanted to play it off.
Pretend that you weren't painfully aware that no matter who you chose, you'd still be second guessing yourself for maybe forever.
If you chose Sukuna, and it crashed and burned, would you spend eternity wondering what would've happened if you mustered up the courage to kiss Suguru right now?
And if you did kiss him, would you just wish it was Sukuna's lips instead?
"I wish I never fucked us up to begin with," Suguru murmured, maybe loosened up from the wine to be speaking so plainly about what you both lost when his face was hardly inches from yours. "But I guess I know how Sukuna feels now."
"You're making it so much harder for me," you defensively mumbled, trying to keep your breathing steady when he was looking down at you like he wanted to memorize the view.
"That's because I want you to pick me," he smoothly replied, your mouth twitching up into a smile you had to push back down.
You had to make yourself slip away from him, turning around and walking around the corner to go back to his living room. About to come up with the excuse that you could watch a movie or something to pass the time and avoid the topic at hand when you spotted a stack of papers across a side table where the coasters usually were.
And noticed your name neatly printed at the top of one.
"What's this?" You asked, picking it up the moment you were close enough, eyes already scanning the page as he started to hurry over.
"It's nothing, just a stupid fucking idea Satoru's dad was-"
"It's about me," you pointed out, turning around and refusing to let him have it back, swatting at his outstretched hand while you squinted at the fine print.
"Baby, it's bullshit, I didn't want to worry-"
"I can make decisions for myself, Suguru," you scolded him, a lump taking shape again in the back of your throat as you realized what it was.
An offer.
"This is the PR relationship thing, isn't it?" You frowned, flipping the page as you started scanning the terms. Satoru had been telling the truth.
His dad wanted to throw a fuck ton of cash at you to get you to do what he wanted.
An apartment with 24/7 security. Biweekly paychecks for playing pretend girlfriend. Health and dental insurance. New clothes for required public appearances.
God, why the fuck was it a better job offer than anything else you received?
Six months.
Half of year of hanging onto your ex-boyfriend's arm in public now that your private life had been dragged out for everyone to see.
It was long enough for the album and press rollout but right before their tour would start. Enough for them to turn the PR disaster of a leaked sex tape into something slightly less scandalous the media could sink their teeth into.
You'd be dropped once they sold out all their shows.
Suguru was silent, just staring as you studied the stapled sheets in front of you, waiting for you to say something.
To say it was stupid and to shut it all down.
"Is he actually serious?" You asked, a hard lump in your throat as your stare drifted back to the promised paycheck, wondering what price you could put on your pride.
You were clearly losing this game anyway.
They weren't going to leave you alone.
"You don't need to do this," Suguru softly said, not answering your question as you glanced up from the papers to see his conflicted expression.
Would Sukuna hate you if you did?
Satoru might.
How much could making a deal with a devil cost when you already lost everything you cared about?
You weren't replying to his texts.
Go fucking figure.
The harder Sukuna tried to have you, the more you pulled away from him.
Still, he knew he shouldn't be doing this.
Leg bouncing impatiently as he stared down at the phone screen in his hand, trying to work up the willpower to either swipe everything away or shut it off.
That's what a more mature person would do.
Someone who had his shit together.
But that had never been him.
Jin had called, told him to come over and just crash there. Kaori had snatched the phone from his brother and told him to go find you and fucking fix it.
Like it was so goddamn easy when you were too hurt to see how hard he was trying. Too broken to even want him to put you together.
And despite what his therapist tried to say otherwise, he couldn't stop blaming himself for being the one to fuck it all up in the first place.
All the same thoughts looping in his head, replaying a million moments he wished he could go back and do differently. The thousand nights where you were in his bed, beneath his body where you belonged, his hands skimming over your side and his teeth sinking into your soft skin when he should've been kissing you and asking you to be his girlfriend.
Not his best friend with benefits.
Not some unnamed third thing you both swore wasn't that serious.
He wanted to be your man. To get to marry you one day and have a stupid little chubby baby with your eyes and his hair.
Sukuna didn't want to just be some fucking asshole you used to sleep with.
Someone you used to know.
A page in a book you shut and shoved on a shelf to be forgotten.
Maybe bringing you to his therapist was a mistake, something that he should've waited a little longer for. But he didn't know how to help you himself.
No matter how badly he wished he could.
And honestly, what he was about to do was probably an even bigger one in the making.
But fuck, he wanted to prove you wrong.
Show you that what you were scared of wasn't going to happen.
He could watch you having sex with your ex-boyfriend and not strangle him for it. He wasn't going to leave you.
And by no means, was he going to stop loving you.
No, instead, he just nearly threw up when the sketchy site on his phone finally loaded and he saw you splayed out nude in soft blue sheets, touching yourself and looking at the camera all lovestruck.
Asking Suguru for help.
You didn't do that with him.
It was different. Knowing that it had been serious with Suguru and actually seeing it for himself.
The trust shining in your eyes before all the light in them had been stolen from you.
He almost dropped the phone.
Pacing the floor and swallowing the bile threatening to flood his throat as your soft voice replayed in his ears.
Sukuna was greedy. Selfish. Used to taking what he wanted and never needing to justify it.
Until he realized what he wanted the most was what was best for you.
pms? tender breasts? don't worry, your κ°devotedκ± boyfriend satoru gojo is happy to be your personal bra for the day ౨ৠ1.1k
fluff ; crack ; suggestive art by @/Rezijellyfish0
It was a morning like any other.
You woke up curled right into your boyfriend Satoru Gojo's side, practically on top of him on the comfortable double bed. You didn't really have much room, not with his habit of lying down like a starfish, but you couldn't blame him β his long limbs just needed to take up all the space every night, and so you were forced to use your boyfriend as a pillow, of course.
Your favourite pillow.
You were awfully comfortable like this, nuzzling into his broad chest as the morning light started to bleed in through the half open window. Yes, so comfortable you could just drift away again... until.
Until those long limbs started to close in towards you.
That was another one of his morning habits, you see. Even for how spread out he liked to sleep, as soon as Satoru started to drift back into consciousness β you were the first thing he'd search for.
In his half asleep haze he closed his arms around you, squeezing you into him with all his might, letting out the most satisfied of hums. Not you, however β the sound that escaped your mouth was somewhere between a yelp and a cry for help.
"Baby?!" Satoru sprung into consciousness in a second. "What's wrong?!"
His bright blue eyes snapped open to see you pouting at him, hands over your already very sore breasts that he had painfully squeezed against his side. "Oh" he frowned, understanding. "It's that week, isn't it?"
You nodded slowly, letting Satoru manoeuvre you on your back so he could rest on his elbow next to you. When you first found out he was tracking your cycle you did call him a freak, but to be honest, it was worth it with how gentle he was with you now.
"Is it really bad?" he asked, tracing soft lines over your collarbone with his free hand. His touch was feather light, his hand apologising to your tender skin.
"It hurts" you exhaled, letting your head sink into the pillow with a long sigh. "They feel heavy"
"Heavy?" Satoru echoed, very obviously looking down to your chest. Naturally, you pinched him. "Ow! What was that for?"
"I'm in pain and you want to check if they're bigger?!" you growled, ready to throw a pillow right on his stupid white hair.
"No no no, you know I think theyβre perfectβ Satoru apologised immediately, peppering kisses all over your face. "It was for science only"
"Sure" you rolled your eyes, but you couldn't keep the angry act for long, not with your boyfriend's puppy dog eyes so close to your face.
"I mean it, I only want to help" he said, sitting up. And you did believe him β your boyfriend had been trying his best since he figured out how difficult pms was for you.
Last month, he even bought you a personalised hot water bottle with both your initials on it. Baby blue, of course.
You weren't sure who else would be confusing their hot water bottle for yours anyway, but its the gesture that counts.
"Come here baby, I'll help you up" he called to you with wide open arms, but as soon as he started to pull you up, you groaned again. "Is it that bad?" he grimaced, seeing your hands go back to holding onto your sore breasts.
Unfortunately, it was.
"It's ok" you tried to deflect, feeling bad for how worried he seemed. "You don't have to worry about mβ"
"None of that" Satoru pouted. "Does that help?" he nodded to your hands, clearly some sort of plan starting to form in that head of his.
"Kind of" you replied, massaging yourself. "Should probably put on a bra" you sighed.
"In bed?!" Satoru shook his messy white hair side to side. "It's unfair" he completed solemnly. And you agreed with him.
But then he opened up his mouth again, with that tone he employed when he was going to suggest something... unusual.
"Why don't you...let me help?"
That made you stop halfway, turning up to look at him. "What do you mean?"
"Justβ¦ come here" he said, extending those pale fingers to you. You had one raised eyebrow, but let him do what he had intended β and soon his large palms were closing around your breasts.
"Pervert" you deadpanned.
"You said it helped!" he argued.
You took a moment, considering. You were very used to your boyfriend touching you everywhere, of course, but you had never seen him look so commited about it. It was almost endearing, in a kind of, um, odd way.
"So, what, you'll just be my personal bra today?" you teased.
"If you want me to" he nodded.
"Aren't your arms getting tired?" you narrowed your eyes at him.
"Baby, this is what I train for" he replied smugly.
You let out a little laugh, enjoying your boyfriend's silly plan and how serious he was about it. "You can't possibly keep this up" you joked.
"Wanna bet?"
You shouldn't have said yes. But of course you did.
The rest of the day was spent with Satoru glued to you β more so than usual. "You're enjoying this" you poked him as he stood with his chin on top of your head and his hands right where he promised they'd be, watching you make your morning coffee.
"You wound me, princess" he pretended to sigh. "This is for your own good"
Sure it was.
Later you sat down to watch TV, and Satoru placed you right on his lap, before his hands returned to your chest. "You're ridiculous" you laughed, his chin heavy on your shoulder this time and your back to his chest.
"Is it helping?" he asked.
In truth, it was. He was warm and soft and much more comfortable than a real bra; and walking around like you had been cursed into attachment was lifting your mood as much as it was annoying you too.
His eccentric ways were just one of the things you loved about your boyfriend, after all.
Of course, this all got a bit too ridiculous when you announced you were going to shower, and got followed by the white haired giant all the way into the bathroom. "You can't be serious" you looked up at him.
"I only want to helβOw! Ok, I'll be outside"
You laughed, seeing his pout as he closed the door behind him. It was adorable how devoted he was to this stupid plan β and you also couldn't deny you missed his loving touch as soon as he had let go of you.
Maybe he could help you shower too. He only wanted you to feel better, right?
"Satoru" you called, not even surprised when the door opened before you had even finished saying his name.
"Need me?" he grinned from ear to ear.
You would have pinched him again if he wasn't so damn adorable.
my boobs feel like they're about to explode and this is what came of it I don't know what else to say
pms? tender breasts? don't worry, your κ°devotedκ± boyfriend satoru gojo is happy to be your personal bra for the day ౨ৠ1.1k
fluff ; crack ; suggestive art by @/Rezijellyfish0
It was a morning like any other.
You woke up curled right into your boyfriend Satoru Gojo's side, practically on top of him on the comfortable double bed. You didn't really have much room, not with his habit of lying down like a starfish, but you couldn't blame him β his long limbs just needed to take up all the space every night, and so you were forced to use your boyfriend as a pillow, of course.
Your favourite pillow.
You were awfully comfortable like this, nuzzling into his broad chest as the morning light started to bleed in through the half open window. Yes, so comfortable you could just drift away again... until.
Until those long limbs started to close in towards you.
That was another one of his morning habits, you see. Even for how spread out he liked to sleep, as soon as Satoru started to drift back into consciousness β you were the first thing he'd search for.
In his half asleep haze he closed his arms around you, squeezing you into him with all his might, letting out the most satisfied of hums. Not you, however β the sound that escaped your mouth was somewhere between a yelp and a cry for help.
"Baby?!" Satoru sprung into consciousness in a second. "What's wrong?!"
His bright blue eyes snapped open to see you pouting at him, hands over your already very sore breasts that he had painfully squeezed against his side. "Oh" he frowned, understanding. "It's that week, isn't it?"
You nodded slowly, letting Satoru manoeuvre you on your back so he could rest on his elbow next to you. When you first found out he was tracking your cycle you did call him a freak, but to be honest, it was worth it with how gentle he was with you now.
"Is it really bad?" he asked, tracing soft lines over your collarbone with his free hand. His touch was feather light, his hand apologising to your tender skin.
"It hurts" you exhaled, letting your head sink into the pillow with a long sigh. "They feel heavy"
"Heavy?" Satoru echoed, very obviously looking down to your chest. Naturally, you pinched him. "Ow! What was that for?"
"I'm in pain and you want to check if they're bigger?!" you growled, ready to throw a pillow right on his stupid white hair.
"No no no, you know I think theyβre perfectβ Satoru apologised immediately, peppering kisses all over your face. "It was for science only"
"Sure" you rolled your eyes, but you couldn't keep the angry act for long, not with your boyfriend's puppy dog eyes so close to your face.
"I mean it, I only want to help" he said, sitting up. And you did believe him β your boyfriend had been trying his best since he figured out how difficult pms was for you.
Last month, he even bought you a personalised hot water bottle with both your initials on it. Baby blue, of course.
You weren't sure who else would be confusing their hot water bottle for yours anyway, but its the gesture that counts.
"Come here baby, I'll help you up" he called to you with wide open arms, but as soon as he started to pull you up, you groaned again. "Is it that bad?" he grimaced, seeing your hands go back to holding onto your sore breasts.
Unfortunately, it was.
"It's ok" you tried to deflect, feeling bad for how worried he seemed. "You don't have to worry about mβ"
"None of that" Satoru pouted. "Does that help?" he nodded to your hands, clearly some sort of plan starting to form in that head of his.
"Kind of" you replied, massaging yourself. "Should probably put on a bra" you sighed.
"In bed?!" Satoru shook his messy white hair side to side. "It's unfair" he completed solemnly. And you agreed with him.
But then he opened up his mouth again, with that tone he employed when he was going to suggest something... unusual.
"Why don't you...let me help?"
That made you stop halfway, turning up to look at him. "What do you mean?"
"Justβ¦ come here" he said, extending those pale fingers to you. You had one raised eyebrow, but let him do what he had intended β and soon his large palms were closing around your breasts.
"Pervert" you deadpanned.
"You said it helped!" he argued.
You took a moment, considering. You were very used to your boyfriend touching you everywhere, of course, but you had never seen him look so commited about it. It was almost endearing, in a kind of, um, odd way.
"So, what, you'll just be my personal bra today?" you teased.
"If you want me to" he nodded.
"Aren't your arms getting tired?" you narrowed your eyes at him.
"Baby, this is what I train for" he replied smugly.
You let out a little laugh, enjoying your boyfriend's silly plan and how serious he was about it. "You can't possibly keep this up" you joked.
"Wanna bet?"
You shouldn't have said yes. But of course you did.
The rest of the day was spent with Satoru glued to you β more so than usual. "You're enjoying this" you poked him as he stood with his chin on top of your head and his hands right where he promised they'd be, watching you make your morning coffee.
"You wound me, princess" he pretended to sigh. "This is for your own good"
Sure it was.
Later you sat down to watch TV, and Satoru placed you right on his lap, before his hands returned to your chest. "You're ridiculous" you laughed, his chin heavy on your shoulder this time and your back to his chest.
"Is it helping?" he asked.
In truth, it was. He was warm and soft and much more comfortable than a real bra; and walking around like you had been cursed into attachment was lifting your mood as much as it was annoying you too.
His eccentric ways were just one of the things you loved about your boyfriend, after all.
Of course, this all got a bit too ridiculous when you announced you were going to shower, and got followed by the white haired giant all the way into the bathroom. "You can't be serious" you looked up at him.
"I only want to helβOw! Ok, I'll be outside"
You laughed, seeing his pout as he closed the door behind him. It was adorable how devoted he was to this stupid plan β and you also couldn't deny you missed his loving touch as soon as he had let go of you.
Maybe he could help you shower too. He only wanted you to feel better, right?
"Satoru" you called, not even surprised when the door opened before you had even finished saying his name.
"Need me?" he grinned from ear to ear.
You would have pinched him again if he wasn't so damn adorable.
my boobs feel like they're about to explode and this is what came of it I don't know what else to say
β§ summary the kingdom has sunk into a violent civil war, and you and your family, the lighthouse keepers, tried your best to stay out of it. that is until a group of rebels show up injured on your doorstep, begging for shelter you can't refuse.
β§ content mdni!; historical au; angst; smut; fluff too; alternating pov; blood and injury; violence; fights; death; blood; threats; reader dissociates; implied sexual threat (non-graphic); protective sukuna; love confessions; making out; kissing; virginity loss; oral (f receiving); piv sex; body worship; complex dynamics; slow burn; enemies to lovers sort of; mutual pining; hurt and comfort; yearning; dark themes
series masterlist here | <<previous chapter | next chapter>>
chapter 8: shipwreck
wc: 9.1k
"Look at me"
Sukuna's voice was reaching your ears, but the words seemed to get lost to the wind before you could even attempt to grasp them. Even when he tried calling your name, it sounded⦠strange. Unfamiliar. Like it should belong to someone you used to know, or maybe, someone you weren't anymore.
"Hey"
And Sukuna's tone could never be described as kind, but there was an uncharacteristic softness to how he tried to reach you. A raspiness that suggested he was just as scared as you were.
You didn't want him to be scared.
But you simply could not reach him right now.
"Can you stand?"
You were sure he was kneeling right next to you, but you had gone somewhere else.
Your eyes had completely disconnected from the real world ahead, focusing on whatever you could to steal you away from the nightmare next to you. Right now, that safe beacon was the moon β casting it's beautiful glow above the lighthouse.
It was night already.
Wasn't Sukuna meant to leave at nightfall?
Your memories were hazy, your thoughts scattered, but your eyes were focused β on the brightness up above, and how it illuminated the darkness all around.
"I need you to stand"
You didn't want to.
Because if you brought your eyes back, you'd see it again β your red hands. Sukuna's red hands.
The corpses lying next to you.
Was it so wrong to look somewhere else?
Your body had practically given out already, every nerve ending numb and your stomach completely emptied, the stench of it's contents making a vile mix with the blood that stained your clothes.
You didn't want to, but your face was unceremoniously moved away from the safety of the moon's glow, and turned towards another beautiful vision β Sukuna's eyes, so red and sharp, casting an even brighter light as the fire of the beacon shone within them, consuming you whole.
You could feel it now; how he had two large palms cupping your cheeks. You could somewhat feel how his fingers dug into your cheeks, but it was a faint sensation more than anything. Your body didn't exactly feel yours anymore, just a sack of meat and bones that you were vaguely aware of.
"Tch" you saw Sukuna grimace. Was he unhappy with you? Had you done something?
You wanted to reach your hand to him, but it didn't move. Wanted to apologise for whatever it was, but the words didn't leave your lips. You tasted salt, but it wasn't seawater β maybe you were crying. Was that why he wasn't happy?
While your brain tried to make sense of this dreadful world around you, it suddenly shifted completely. Sukuna hooked an arm under your legs and another on your back, and lifted you up with ease.
Your head danced as you struggled to focus your eyes again, looking at everything from above now, in Sukuna's embrace.
And there, you saw it.
The boy you had killed.
Everything became too real again, too fast.
"Sukunaβ" you cried, digging your nails onto his shoulders, turning to hide your face in his chest. If everything had gone numb for a few seconds, now it was like being electrocuted back to reality.
"You're ok" he said, but you felt him exhale. Clearly he was glad you had seemed to come back to yourself⦠even if you weren't.
Words still were stuck in your throat, and all you could do was hide into him, concealing your eyes in his broad frame. Sukuna carried you down the steps, taking you away from the horrific scene staining the lighthouse you loved.
But carried you where, exactly?
Because the further you went down, the closer you could hear it β sounds of struggle, of pain and violence. Battle cries and two many pairs of boots thumping on the ground nearby.
It was never this loud around here.
"What's happening?" you asked, all focus shifting. Choso had said earlier that the lighthouse would be used as a base β is this what it was?
Why did it sound like fighting, though?
Was there fighting?
Was your family safe?
"I need to find Choso" you said immediately, attempting to leave Sukuna's arms, but his grip only tightened. "My brothers, I need toβ"
"No" Sukuna grunted, tone final and sharp. "I'm keeping you safe"
It took you a second too long to understand the words fully.
But when you finally did, you started thrashing around, kicking and pushing and trying to get away from the man who held you. "I'm finding them" you protested, but Sukuna only let out a long sigh, turning you around so you could face him fully.
"Listen to me" he said, and his tone was so calm, so soft, that it did make you stop. "I'll find them, but I can't do that if I'm worried about you"
Something about how he looked at you⦠you believed him. Trusted him completely. The only thing that brought you a sliver of reassurance in this moment were his crimson eyes.
What in hell were you even supposed to do, when the world was crashing down all around you?
So you didn't resume the struggle, just let him hold you. Being alone terrified you, having Sukuna join in the middle of whatever battle terrified you, and not knowing where your family was terrified you more than anything.
But the way Sukuna looked at you⦠he seemed to understand.
He softly lowered you down, your feet touching the ground with a gentleness that wasn't expected from a situation like this. You used his arms to steady yourself, until you were sure you could stand up on your own.
You knew the lighthouse meant safety; but right now this room you knew so well felt cold and dark and full of ghosts.
"I'm scared" you admitted, refusing to let go of your grip on his forearm. Your hands were shaking, you realised.
And Sukuna noticed it too, taking the opportunity to place his palm on top of yours, pressing it ever so slightly to his warm skin. "I know" he murmured, thumb brushing over the back of your hand. "I promised I'd come for you, didn't I?"
You wanted to protest, but every word was lost to the wind when Sukuna came down to seal his promise with a kiss. You seem to relax under his touch, even just a little, but really, Sukuna's reasoning had been selfish β he simply couldn't bear to hear your voice break when you begged him to let you join again.
Even right now, feeling you shake and cling to him, it hurt more than a dagger to his back.
His hand left yours to cup your cheek, his other interlacing your fingers together. You felt so small under him, so fragile. Sukuna would have rather taken you far away, away from all of this, but he knew you'd never leave your family behind.
In an odd way for someone like him, he also wanted to protect them.
And that meant keeping you safe so he could do that. But it pained him to leave you in here just as much as it pained you to stay.
The kiss was tender, lingering for as long as you both could in the situation you found yourselves in. You were terrified it would be your last, and Sukuna would never let it show that he was just as scared.
When he tried to pull away, you couldn't bear to let him go.
"I can fight" you tried to say, as Sukuna took a blanket and placed it over your shoulders.
"I don't want you to" he replied, helping you sit on the corner, hidden among the furniture.
He had seen how you looked upstairs, when he failed to protect you. Sukuna could deal with that guilt later, but right now the one thing he was certain of was that he'd never allow you to be in that situation again.
And he saw how you suddenly looked both relieved and more worried at his words. "They would have sent my brothers to the beach" your brain started trying to map out every possible scenario, trying to hold on to him again. "There are caves to hide down there, they know it wellβ"
"I'll find them" Sukuna reassured again, taking your hands to his lips for a short kiss, and placing them gently back on your lap.
"There are boats, too, maybe they would haveβ" you kept saying as he readied himself.
"You have the key?" Sukuna interrupted. He had one hand already on the doorknob, looking over his shoulder to wait for your nod. "Lock the door as soon as I leave"
It was all you could do.
Sukuna hadn't expected to be back in this hell so soon.
He was foolish enough to allow himself to dream these past few weeks. To hope for a life that could be gentle, maybe even shared with someone else, the only person in this forsaken world that didn't see him as a killer and nothing more.
Stupid. This was all it ever came down to, and he should have know better.
As soon as he was out of the lighthouse, he was greeted by a very familiar scene. Men running, men crying, men strewn along the floor as the smell of their blood mixed with the sea salt in the air.
He didn't want you to see this, what war actually looked like. What it had done to your home.
He waited for the click of the door locking behind him, finally letting out a long exhale. His body struggled to move, picturing how you might look on the other side β were you still there, saying a silent prayer with your forehead to the frame? Were you crying again?
He hated this, but he had to move. Because this one time was indeed different; he wasn't fighting for the sake of it anymore.
Right now, he had a promise to keep.
Find your family. Keep you safe.
He could only hope you wouldn't do something stupid, but Sukuna tried to keep that possibility as far away from his mind as he could as he left you, and dove deeper into hell.
The first man who tried to charge him didn't even get a chance to fully lift his sword. Sukuna's blade had already slashed him across the middle, a movement as effortless as walking.
Fighting was second nature to him.
And Sukuna didn't want you to see that either.
Another soldier, even more stupid this time. The poor boy tried to turn around when he realised who he was facing, but Sukuna was fast.
Another one down.
Would you have been as disgusted by him as you were with yourself?
As Sukuna slashed through his enemies, all he could think about was how you had looked when that man was bleeding all over you. You were too fucking good for this world, too fucking good for him.
He wanted to protect you more than anything, and right now he was doing an awful job at that. Wasn't there when you needed him most earlier, and abandoned you to cry all alone in a room that probably had blood dripping through the ceiling's floorboards.
The least he could do was find your family.
But Sukuna recognised these uniforms, and he knew there were far more of his men than your brother's. The fighting seemed to have started not far from here, and the fact it had scattered to your home was just bad luck. Just what happened in war, when armies were forced to retreat.
The rebels must have learnt of the loyalist's plan to set camp up near the lighthouse, and set up an ambush up the road. Seemed the most logical conclusion β it's what he would have done, after all.
Just an order he would have given without a second thought.
Right now, his thoughts were clouded with regrets.
Sukuna rushed past the sweaty men clinking their swords, more worried about his mission than serving in his master's fight. He followed another source of light, as bright as the beacon and the moon up above both β it was the roof of the main house, set ablaze.
Sukuna growled at that, hating to see your home caught up in this destruction. Hating how normal it felt, too.
It's just what happened in war.
Men fought. Homes burned. Women suffered.
That truth suddenly brought him to a halt, blood running cold. Don't do anything stupid, Sukuna prayed once more, hoping you would stay put where he had left you.
He had to find them, and fast. The faster he did, the faster he'd have you safe in his arms again.
His boot kicked the wooden door, making it rattle on its hinges as it struggled to stay connected. The fire was hot above his head but Sukuna didn't care, looking in the most obvious place first and foremost.
"Choso?" he called, the name uncomfortable in his mouth. Sukuna kept moving through, using his elbow to hide his face in amidst the smoke, kicking every door as fast as he could.
He hated seeing your home caught up in flames like this. The dining table; where he had first taken a good luck at your beautiful face. His angel, come to save him. The room where you had stitched him together. Your room.
All gone.
Sukuna didn't know who was responsible for the fire, but they'd pay for it. He'd make sure of it.
But most importantly of all though, was the fact the space was empty.
No one was here.
There were signs that a fight had taken place, and your father's sword wasn't anywhere to be seen. Sukuna hoped they would have been smart and left, but he knew your family was as stubborn as you were.
Finally, he noticed the door all the way at the back β open, flailing in the wind. He rushed there, remembering the path behind the house where they would have certainly escaped from.
He didn't know if it would lead to anything, but it was the best clue he had.
Sukuna rushed through, coughing with the smoke, feeling the heat burn the hairs at the back of his neck, but determined to complete his mission.
Finally, he saw someone he recognised.
Sukuna had seen your brother fight before, and Choso had been talented then. But seeing how he fought to defend his home β it was more than that. Choso moved like an animal; bleeding and sweating but still going, slashing across another man as another two rushed to join the fight.
There were already three corpses at his feet, all in rebel colours. How long had he been fighting on his own?
Well, he wouldn't be anymore.
Sukuna ran towards him, his sword intercepting a blow that would have come right for your brother's neck if he hadn't been so fast.
"Sukuna?" Choso's eyes grew wide as he turned around to see who had helped him.
And he wasn't the only one β the other two men seemed utterly confused by Sukuna's interruption. They exchanged a look, unsure of what to do now that their commander had joined the frayβ¦ but on the other side.
"Focus" Sukuna said to Choso, effortlessly turning his sword around to slash the men's head clean off.
The other rebel looked terrified, motioning to run backwards before Choso ceased the opportunity to sink his blade into the man's middle, aiming it diagonally upwards towards his heart.
A clean cut, a fast death. As merciful as one could be in times like this.
Sukuna would have scoffed if it didn't remind him so much of you.
"Where areβ" he started to say, but Choso was falling forwards fast as soon as the other man's body hit the ground.
Sukuna grabbed him by the shoulders, trying to keep him upright. "You're injured?" he asked, feeling the pain of his guilt only grow. If he had been too lateβ
"No" Choso panted, struggling to keep his breath in. Sukuna didn't believe him, but he knew what adrenaline could do to a man. "Is my sisterβ"
"She's safe" Sukuna reassured, and Choso breathed a little easier.
"Whereβ"
"Safe" Sukuna repeated. "Where are the others?"
"The beach" Choso tried to say, and Sukuna smiled at how well you knew your family. "My father can protect them, but if the soldiers are already downβ"
"I'll go" Sukuna decided. "Go to the lighthouse, she'sβ"
"What? No" Choso protested, trying to find his footing though it was clearly a struggle. "I need to keep fighting"
Sukuna rolled his eyes, helping his old rival to stand once again. Only then he noticed the red staining Choso's shirt, right on his side. Not fatal, he hoped. A comical thought to have about someone he himself had tried to kill not too long ago.
But it explained why Choso looked so pale.
"You're as stubborn as your sister" Sukuna huffed, forearm to Choso's chest to keep him upright.
A rare smile tugged at the corner of his lips. "Thanks" Choso chuckled dryly.
"Point me to where they are, I'll goβ"
"Sukuna?"
The familiar voice snapped both their heads sideways, to the tall man atop the horse, tall above everyone else. His long hair flew in the wind, his heavy armour glistening in the light of the fire behind him. No one else had been dressed quite so flashy for this honourless ambush, but Sukuna didn't even need to look to know who it was.
He would have recognised that unsettling tone anywhere.
"How rude to join once the fight is already won" Kenjaku laughed, as if his clean armour didn't suggest just the same.
Sukuna gritted his teeth, angry. He was the last man he expected to see here, and the last one he hoped to too.
"And who is this?" his king continued. "Didn't know you to take prisoners"
"Not a prisoner" Sukuna said quickly, raising his voice to match his status. "A guest"
Kenjaku seemed awfully amused by that. "Guest?" he echoed, smiling.
"His family runs this lighthouse" he explained. "They took care of my injuries, and I'd hope to return the favour"
Kenjaku turned his head sideways, watching the scene. Choso, slumped forward with one hand to Sukuna's shoulder, trying his best to stay upright despite the blood quickly leaving him. And his once loyal commander, holding on to the boy in a way that suggested he actually cared.
"This boy wears the wrong colours" Kenjaku mused, fascinated.
"And still they allowed me to stay" Sukuna argued.
Kenjaku sighed, seeming to grow annoyed now. "So it is as Kento told" he shook his head. So his fellow men were still alive, it seemed. "Fine. Have the medics tend to him"
"Thank you, my King" Sukuna did a small courtesy, and the other man finally seemed to approve.
"You seem to have grown sentimental, Sukuna" he taunted. "Go clear the rest of them"
Sukuna nodded, looking ahead to the other soldiers still scattered around the battlefield they had made of your home.
He didn't have a choice.
Your hands were shaking where they gripped the blanket, hiding in the corner where Sukuna had left you. You felt useless. Uterly, completely useless, hiding like a scared child instead of searching for the people you loved.
What if none of them ever returned?
What if you were lost in here forever, or worse β found by someone who wasn't them?
In the darkness of this room, it was impossible to not let your mind wander. Every possible scenario to explain the loud sounds outside the door, every horrible thing to excuse the fact Sukuna had been gone for so long.
You hated it. This space was suffocating, and your imagination was even worse. All you could do was say your prayers, to whoever may listen, and wait.
Wait.
Until you heard it.
A knock. Sharp as you had grown to expect. A voice calling your name.
You ran as fast as you could, unlocking the door with trembling hands, cursing at yourself for how you failed this simple task.
But when it finally swung open, Sukuna was standing there. Covered in sweat and dirt and stains of red you didn't want to look at, but alive.
That was all that mattered right now.
But even in this state, you threw yourself at him, sinking your face onto the crook of his neck where you noticed a fresh scratch that hadn't been there earlier. Sukuna was fast to catch you, hands immediately dropping his sword to the ground so he could bring them to your middle and pull you in close, breathing in your scent.
Alive, the two of you exhaled the same thought.
"Did youβ" you started.
"They're safe"
"All of them?"
"All of them" Sukuna confirmed.
You didn't even know what emotion was the strongest then. Relief? Gratitude? These seemed like such thin words to describe the weight of how you felt. It was all coming in a rush, finally a light shining to ease the dread you had spent the last hours in.
"Thank you" you muttered, sinking your head on his chest now. "Thank you"
Sukuna pulled you in tight, so glad to see you here, so glad to see you safe. If only he could keep you right here in his arms forever β but he knew that was impossible. At one point, sooner or later, you would have to come face to face with the state his men had left your precious home.
"We⦠can't stay here" he whispered to you, a hand at the back of your head to keep you right where you were. "Will you come with me?"
"Where?" you asked, already knowing what your answer would be.
Sukuna exhaled sharply through his nose, trying to figure out the best way to start. "We'll be regrouping near Kenjaku's castle" he explained. "He assured there would be a room for us, and your family too"
Maybe the good news would hold your focus, but Sukuna always knew you were too astute for that.
"Regrouping?" you echoed, lifting your head. "Do you meanβ"
"Yes" Sukuna nodded, seeing the understanding start to turn behind your eyes.
"They attacked my home" you stated, a fact you were begging him to deny.
"They attacked the loyalists" Sukuna explained, knowing it wouldn't make it much better. "They were the ones who wanted to use the lighthouse as base"
You did seem to consider what he was saying, though your heart was heavy. "I don't want to be near them" you shook your head, sinking into Sukuna again. "I want to stay here"
Sukuna left a kiss to the top of your head, fearing the news he had to give. "You can't"
"Why?" your voice came out muffled against his chest, making this even harder.
Sukuna didn't know how to answer you. How could he tell you your childhood home, the place you loved, had been left to burn?
"Why?" you asked again, and again he couldn't tell you. He saw you look up at him with anger and fear all over your beautiful face, and push past his shoulder to move him out of the way.
Sukuna stepped to the side, allowing you to see the waste that lay ahead of you. He had expected you to collapse like you had earlier β but it seemed you were far beyond grief at this point.
Your hands balled into fists, your breathing stopped. "Who did this?" you tried to say, though your voice came out raspy and tight.
Sukuna sighed, bringing you back to him. "I don't know" was all he could say, as you allowed your head to be brought to his chest again. You weren't ready to look at it just yet.
"My family is safe?" you asked, with all the remaining strength you could muster.
"Yes" Sukuna confirmed.
"And they will come too?"
"Of course"
"Fine" you huffed. "Take us to your camp"
Your venom and resentment was dripping from every word, but your hand still reached for Sukuna's when he guided you out the door.
Being forced to face the aftermath was never something Sukuna enjoyed. Before he could have dismissed it and turned a blind eye β but it was impossible to do so when the person walking through the wreckage of their home was someone he cared about.
You didn't scream or sob once you saw it, but that was almost worse. It was like all fight had just left you.
Sukuna didn't know a way he could make this better, not when it was his men that caused this.
"Don't look" he warned you as he helped you up on a horse, but you didn't listen. As much as it hurt, you wanted to see all of it. Had to.
You didn't speak for the whole ride. Not when Sukuna sat you between his thighs, with one of his arms protectively holding on to your middle to keep you close, nor when you stopped to get some rest.
You curled against him in the night, and feeling your warmth brought him some comfort, but you couldn't reciprocate it. Everything about you had gone stiff.
The only time he saw you show some emotion was days later, when you finally made it to camp and requested to be guided to the medical tent where your family rested. Sukuna saw you fall in front of your brother, and Choso's arms close around your back even though he was the one laying on the stretcher. He saw your father place a hand to your shoulder to calm your tears, and the two little ones rush to your side.
And then he left.
Sukuna didn't feel like he was allowed to watch such a scene, when he had been the one to bring destruction into your life. Cursed, he spat on the floor, reminding himself of his condition.
He had done his duty, kept you all safe, bargained in your favour β perhaps it was time to let you go.
What a fool he was to think he could ever do that.
"It's good to see you're well" someone said amidst the busy voices at camp, a tone far gentler than Sukuna would expect.
He turned his chin up to see Kento walking towards him, armour still on after the battle. It was nice to see him, but Sukuna couldn't find any words to respond, settling with a short nod instead.
"I am sorry about the lighthouse" his friend said solemnly, coming to stand next to Sukuna. "Is she in there?"
He wanted to huff and spit in reply β how sorry could he be if he was one of it's attackers? But Sukuna knew better, and Kento was but a soldier. Not someone who could have prevented this; no, the only person who probably could have was Sukuna himself.
"Yes" he replied, hands deep in his pockets as he looked at the rocky floor below. Sukuna had grown accustomed to the distant sound of crashing waves, and their lack was extremely loud right now.
"How areβ"
"They're alive" he cut in. Kento nodded, satisfied with the answer.
"I heard her brother is in there" he continued, voice low and meant only for Sukuna. He didn't need to complete the thought for Sukuna to understand what he meant β no doubt treating Choso wasn't just a show of mercy from Kenjaku.
"He's not of rank" Sukuna groaned. "Just a boy playing at war"
"I know" Kento agreed. "I'll doubt that'll stop them getting any information they can out of him"
Sukuna finally kicked the stone he had been staring at, sending it rippling across the field. Of course nothing was every easy. "I'll ask for an audience" he decided, turning around to face his friend fully.
Kento nodded, trying not to linger on the subject. The two men stood side by side, taking in the movement all around them β such an odd thing, when the world seemed at a standstill.
"How are the others?" Sukuna muttered.
"Alive" Kento answered. "And well, too"
"Hm" Sukuna exhaled, the best he could do.
"Naoya is dead" Kento continued. "I trust that is good news to you"
"It is" Sukuna crossed his arms, remembering the reason he had sent the boy to his death in the first place.
"There were search parties when they found his body" Kento explained. "That's when they found us, too"
"That so?"
"We explained what happened" he continued. "Convinced them the lighthouse wasn't worth searching, that you were recovering there"
Sukuna rolled his eyes, all this seeming like part of a life he had half forgotten already. He didn't care for Naoya or Kenjaku or strategy β the only thing he cared about was in the tent right behind him, crying.
Because of the men standing all around.
His men.
"You attacked it anyway" Sukuna spat.
"The enemy forced our hand" Kento explained solemnly.
He knew it was true.
"Sukuna?" another voice called, and he was glad to see Toji standing above them, that scarred lip almost forming a smile. But he extended a piece of parchment, with lettering he recognised too well. "Kenjaku wants to see you" he explained.
Sukuna grunted but nodded, scrunching the invitation into his pocket. But just as he started to move, Toji stopped him again, nodding to the tent Sukuna had been guarding.
"Her too"
"So" Kenjaku started,sitting upon his throne with all the arrogance of a King and the dignity of a street urchin. Sukuna hated the man, hated his sense of self importance and how he saw people as pieces on a game board. And what Sukuna hated more than anything β was the way he was looking at you right now.
"My most precious commander disappears in the middle of war" he continued, chin resting on his knuckles. "And comes back with an enemy, two children, and old man, and⦠Pardon me, miss, I don't think we are acquainted"
He had that pompous smile dancing across his lips as he addressed you, waiting with all the patience in the world just to see how you were going to respond. Sukuna stood with his body half covering yours, but he could just about see how tense you looked behind him, your hands grasped together to hide their sweat.
Sukuna's fingers twitched, earning to grasp yours, but he only held his hand close. He knew how unpredictable his King could be. Especially in a room surrounded by soldiers in armour, closing in on you both like this was a criminal trial instead of a celebratory reunion.
"Well?" Kenjaku pressed on.
"She's with me" Sukuna snapped before you could give him your name, tone territorial as his body stepped to fully cover you. Gratitude swam in your chest, but it wasn't enough to calm your fears just yet.
"By the gods, Sukuna" Kenjaku laughed, throwing his head back in delight. "There is no need for such jealousy, my friend"
Sukuna huffed, rolling his shoulders back. "It is me who must atone" Sukuna reasoned. "Let her go and rest"
"Oh, you will atone" the king responded, leaning back into his seat. "But right now⦠I am curious"
Sukuna remained quiet. He should have known better, should have expected the whole camp would be talking about his disappearance and the woman he insisted on guarding since.
If there was one thing Kenjaku enjoyed, was knowing people's weaknesses. Ally or otherwise.
"It is rude not to introduce yourself" he challenged, and Sukuna heard your breathing hitch behind him.
"She has been through enough" Sukuna argued.
And it was true.
You had, and he blamed himself for it.
And now here he had gone and trapped you into another viper's nest.
"Explain, then" he rolled his eyes. "Since this girl seems to be mute"
Sukuna inhaled deeply, considering his words very carefully. It took everything in him to not attack this king right there, just for the way he spoke of you. But he knew he had to be careful here.
"They tended to my wounds" he explained.
"And now you ask to drag them to my camp?" Kenjaku rose an eyebrow. "Quite the odd payment"
"Their home was destroyed" Sukuna argued through gritted teeth.
"The price of war" his king waved a hand. "Quite a shame"
The whole room felt suffocating with the dozens of stares β he knew other people were scared of him, but they seemed even more fascinated by you. By this woman who had the fearsome Sukuna acting like a sworn shield.
He was ready to fight each and every one of them if he had to, but before he could speak again, he heard your voice coming from behind him, your name leaving your lips.
Kenjaku finally seemed terribly amused.
You had stepped fully next to Sukuna now, lowering yourself in a small reverence. Sukuna should have expected it β you were as brave as you were foolish. "It's an honour to make your acquaintance, my King" you said, voice still shaking at the edges, but these were the first words Sukuna had heard from you in days.
And for that, he was relieved.
"So she can speak" Kenjaku hummed, delighted. "Maybe you will give me some explanation, since my knight has forgotten himself"
Sukuna swallowed thickly, his jaw clicking as he tensed it. He knew you were intelligent, but you didn't know Kenjaku like he did.
"I know nothing of war, my liege" you continued. "My family controls the lighthouse, or, controlled" you corrected yourself, pain dripping from each word.
"Yes, so I hear" he squinted his eyes at you. "A base for the enemy, and yet you call me King"
Sukuna was ready to intervene, but you continued. "I know nothing of that, my liege" you said, composed. "My brother has fought for the other side, it's true, but has since recognised the error of his ways andβ"
"Please, girl, there's no need for deception" Kenjaku waved you off with his hand, opening another smile as he relaxed onto his chair. "I know all about your traitorous brother"
"Heβ"
"He's helped me" Sukuna interrupted you now, as soon as he heard the tears starting to form through your voice. Your head snapped to him, eyes wide and terrified, like Sukuna was hope personified. "Choso betrayed his men for our cause"
Kenjaku seemed annoyed now that Sukuna had joined the conversation again, his lips pursing sideways as his finger tips tapped the hand rests. "Why?"
Sukuna swallowed, your eyes on him burning more than all the others. "He's recognised the pretender for what he is"
Kenjaku was still not satisfied, seeing trough Sukuna's shameless flattery far too easily. He only scoffed, and kept waiting, giving him time to come up with the truth or a more convincing lie.
What the hell was Sukuna supposed to say?
Because I love her? They'd find it ridiculous.
But he didn't have any other explanation.
"My King" Sukuna knelt fully, the greatest show of respect. "I have done much for you, I only ask one thingβ spare them"
This action alone seemed to please him, however. "I can't remember the last time you've knelt, Sukuna" Kenjaku laughed, one eyebrow perched up on his forehead. "Is this whore really worth it?"
Sukuna kept his eyes on the floor, knowing Kenjaku was just trying to taunt him. To get a reaction. And he hated that it was working.
"You left, Sukuna, and now you ask for mercy?" Kenjaku continued when it became clear Sukuna wouldn't. "I should kill her right now to show you respect"
Sukuna snapped into action as soon as the words left his Kings lips, standing up just as two men in armour stepped in to hold you by the arms. For the first time, Sukuna could see your face fully β scared, terrified.
"Fucking touch her again and I'll kill you" Sukuna threatened, sword already unsheathed, and at the very least you did feel the two men loosen their grip.
But still, you looked at Sukuna with wide eyes that screamed for help, but this wasn't a fight the two of you could win with strength alone, not when you were surrounded like this.
You had to think, and you had to think fast.
"Stop" you yelled, forcing them all to listen. "I am with child"
At that, the whole room came to a halt.
Sukuna hoped no one would notice how he looked at you so utterly confused, his thick brows squinting together before his brain understood what you were doing. The two men had let go of your arms, looking to Kenjaku for instructions.
But all he did was let out a very, very long laugh, that reverberated through the whole hall.
"So that's what this is about?" he continued, enjoying this far too much. "I thought you were smarter than to sire bastards, Sukuna" he laughed.
"Not a bastard" he replied, embarrassed at how that obvious lie had made him feel inside.
"Oh" Kenjaku hummed. "Has my commander fallen in love?" he mocked.
Sukuna swallowed thickly, but held your gaze as he gave his final word. "Yes" he confirmed.
He thought he saw a small smile try to tug at your lips, the first one in a long while.
"How touching. Fine" his King sighed, sounding utterly bored now. With nothing but a wave of his hand, he dismissed the men around you. "Guards, show them their room. I won't harm your family βΒ yet. But they'll stay here"
"T-Thank you, my lord" you tried to say.
"And Sukuna" Kenjaku completed, as you both turned to leave. "I hope to see you at camp soon enough"
"Are you mad?!" Sukuna flew to your side as soon as the household guard shut the door behind him, the large bedroom greeting the two of you. He didn't bother looking around, no, all he cared about was bringing you close, cupping your cheeks with his gruff hands.
You only laughed at his hurried embrace, resting your forehead on his. You were clearly proud of yourself, and Sukuna couldn't deny it β you were too smart for your own good.
Still, the biggest threat was dealt with. For now.
"Don't I deserve some thanks, sir?" you teased, and Sukuna let out an annoyed tsk just above you.
"You fool" he huffed, lowering his hands to pull you into his chest. "You shouldn't have said anything, youβ"
"Did you mean it?" your voice interrupted him, so small he wasn't sure you had actually meant for him to hear it. Maybe you weren't sure either.
So Sukuna pulled you back just a little, lowering his head so it was closer to yours. "What?"
"You have fallen in love?"
Sukuna's shoulders tensed, his fingers digging into your sides. The question was preposterous, as surely everyone would agree. There should be no such thing as love for someone like him β he wanted to protest it, deny it, claim you were too good for such a man.
But he didn't.
"Yes" Sukuna admitted, the word falling off his lips far easier than he would have ever expected.
What was the point in denying it now?
Maybe this would have been his biggest act of selfishness, but the beautiful smile forming on your lips made him not care.
"Do you mean that?" you whispered, and he hooked his finger under your chin to force you to face him.
"Yes" Sukuna repeated.
He wasn't good with words, so he proved it to you the best way he could. A slow kiss, warm and tender, one he hoped would prove to you how terrified he was of losing you.
Even the fight being over did nothing to calm Sukuna's anxieties on the matter. For the days ride you had barely exchanged a word, and Sukuna had feared you had finally seen him for what he truly was, and shut off your heart completely.
There were no words to explain his happiness when you reciprocated the kiss, leaning into him with enough force to prove your devotion.
Life could be so easy if it was always like this. Of course, that was rarely ever the case.
"We are not out of danger yet" Sukuna broke the kiss, thumb brushing the skin of your stomach as he remembered how your cunning had saved you both. "They'll know you weren't telling the truth in a matter of weeks"
"Then make it true"
"β¦What?"
Was it just him, or had time stopped for a second?
You brought your hand to rest on top of his, pressing him ever so slightly into your flesh. Your eyes stared at his behind long eyelashes, your face the happiest it had looked in days.
"Make it true" you repeated, mouth just inches from his.
Somehow, you had left the powerful Sukuna speechless. Perhaps you weren't just cunning β maybe you were a witch too. A sea witch, come to steal his heart that night he had thought you an angel.
"You are betrothed" he reasoned, more to himself than to you.
"I don't want to marry a lord I've never met" you replied, steadfast. "I want to marry you"
Did Sukuna ever fathom he'd hear these words?
Maybe he had been killed in battle, and this was heaven.
"You don't know what you're saying" he whispered, though his fingers were tensing, digging into your flesh. Gods, you made this so hard for him.
"I do" you swallowed, bringing your hands to his pink strands now. "You saved us"
That made him pause.
This whole time, Sukuna had been chastising himself for all that had happened, believing you blamed him too.
He would have never suspected you were grateful.
"My family is alive because of you" you kept saying, tears starting to stream down your face. "I am alive because of you"
There was a knot the size of a rock inside Sukuna's throat, keeping him silent as he heard you say the most meaningful words you could have to him.
"You kept your promise" you smiled, even amidst the tears.
Sukuna pulled you close, resting your forehead to yours again. "I couldn't live with myself otherwise" he confessed.
"I don't want you to leave me again" you cried. "I want you to make me yours"
Sukuna couldn't help a scoff, a hand pulling the back of your head to him as he adorned a mesmerised smile.
"You are already mine"
And with that, his lips were on yours again. Restless, inevitable, all consuming β a kiss that was like a ship sinking into the ocean, slowly accepting the truth that couldn't be avoided anymore.
For Sukuna's smug words, he knew he had been yours far before you had been his. From that first night, when you saved him. And saved him again and again and again.
Made him believe there was more he could be.
"Sukunaβ" you whispered his name, throwing your neck backwards as he leaned down to explore the flesh there, leaving open mouth kisses all over. One of his large hands had traveled to your thigh, pulling it against him, holding you upright so that you didn't have to.
So that you could just give in to all the pleasure he wanted to give you.
This was mad, he realised. But the whole world had already gone mad way before this.
"Sukuna" you moaned again, hand pulling strands of his pink hair, his lips coming lower to your collarbones.
He exhaled, biting your shoulder playfully. "If you keep saying my name like that" he panted. "I won't be able to stop"
"Don't stop" you pleaded, nails leaving small half moon marks on his skin.
With far too much ease, Sukuna lifted you up and carried you to the mattress in the centre of the room. He lowered you down, gently, making sure there was a pillow behind your head and your clothes weren't all askew.
You were nervous, feeling your heart hammering inside your chest and an unfamiliar heat pooling between your legs. You had never been touched like this before, had never expected you would have begged for someone like this.
Sukuna's gruff hands were gentle as they caressed your flesh, tenderly squeezing your legs as he started pulling the fabric of your dress to your waist. You had read about this in books, thought you had some idea as to what expect.
But then Sukuna stood up, and you were utterly confused.
You pushed yourself up on your elbows, squinting at him for just long enough to see him grab you by the ankles, pulling you all the way to the edge of the mattress.
Your brows were completely knitted together as you saw him sink to his knees, a very amused grin visible on his lips before they disappeared.
Disappeared, and⦠touched you somewhere very unexpected.
"Wh-what are you doing?!" you yelped as his head sunk between your thighs, feeling an odd mix of pleasure and shame as soon as what was certainly his tongue had touched you in the most intimate of places.
Sukuna didn't bother explaining, because he knew you'd understand soon enough.
Two of his hands closed your thighs around his head, forcing them shut between his head. How was he breathing?! you thought, but all thoughts suddenly started fading away. "Oh" you moaned, back arching off the bed.
None of the books said anything about that.
"Stay still" he grunted between your legs, but you could have sworn he was laughing. It was, in fact, impossible to remain still, when Sukuna was so good at being so depraved β his tongue alone making you see stars as he kept drinking from you like you were the finest wine.
Your body acted like it wanted to run away from him, but your mind wanted nothing more than to stay right there. It was an odd thing, how he made you so sensitive you felt like you had no control, like your body was just acting on it's own and squeezing and tensing and gasping and then⦠Soaring, far above the sky.
A feeling like nothing you had ever felt before, washing all over you like the sun coming out after a storm.
The books didn't tell you about that, either.
You blinked slowly, completely lost in a daze as you saw Sukuna climb on top of you, his face a wet mess. Had you done that?
"Am I making you feel good?" he teased, right to your ear, and you felt yourself shiver all over again. How did he make you react like this, so easily?
"Y-yes" you replied, hypnotised by him. His smile was bright and smug when he brought his lips back down to yours, letting you feel your taste on his tongue, completely unashamed.
"Do you want to stop?" he asked between your lips. You only shook your head no.
That was all the confirmation he needed, before he started untying your dress, loosening the fabric all around your skin.
Instinctively, you brought your hands to hide yourself. You had never been seen like this before, and a million thoughts invaded your head. Would you be⦠sufficient? Would Sukuna think you beautiful? Would he be disappointed?
The man had just been between your legs, but the idea of being completely naked by candle light in front of the man you loved⦠it made you far tenser than you had ever expected.
You had read about how much a woman was expected to prepare before her wedding night, and now it was only just downing on you how impulsive this all had been. Should you have prepared more? Would you manage to please him at all?
What if you couldn't andβ
"Don't hide from me" Sukuna whispered, softly caressing the top of your hand where you held on to your breasts. The touch was so tender that you found yourself nodding, slowly lowering your hands despite the heat in your cheeks.
If you had any doubt about your adequacy, it was all gone when you saw Sukuna's face then.
You had seen him angry, scared, murderous. But you had never seen him quite soβ¦infatuated.
His mouth had fallen into a silent gasp, so completely focused on your naked form even the tattoos around his face seemed to soften. "You are beautiful" he whispered, testing how it would feel to slowly cup one of your breasts, watching for your reaction every step of the way.
You swallowed thickly, happiness mixing in with the anxiety. "I like this" you nodded to his hand, how it was exploring your flesh, the pad of his thumb just slowly rolling one of your nipples.
Sukuna watched you as you spoke, bringing his other hand to give the other equal attention. You completely lowered yourself down, enjoying how Sukuna palmed at your skin with his hands, quickly followed by his mouth as his touch grew more rough.
"Mmh" you hummed, thighs squeezing together like they had before as you felt that heat start to pool again. Sukuna was utterly focused on your chest, his tongue rolling each nipples and mouth leaving wet kisses all over you.
It was gentle, but firm, and it left you desperate for more. Your eyes blinked open in your lustful haze, realising he didn't match you in your nakedness. "I want to see you too" you whispered, bringing a hand to pull at his shirt, and you watched his crimson eyes follow yours.
Sukuna seemed to understand, begrudgingly pulling away from your chest to sit back on his heels, and start pulling the shirt over his head. It revealed his chiseled torso, the scar from the night you had met, and all the muscles decorated by years of exercise and years of criminality too.
You found everything about him beautiful.
Every painful mark that told a story you wanted to ask him about. Your hands followed every dark line that contrasted against his skin, adorning his beautiful frame, from his abdomen to his thigh.
It only occurred to you then, that he might have been as nervous as you to be naked together.
"You are beautiful too" you whispered, and you could have sworn the tips of his ears turned a light shade of red.
Sukuna shoved you back down onto the bed, mouth finding yours and hips settling between your thighs. You were quick to respond, your legs pulling you into him like they once had done on the lighthouse floor, on that day you had been so ready to give him everything.
Before it all had taken a turn, and life become a nightmare.
But Sukuna had rescued you from that.
Right now, you couldn't be happier in your decision.
"Tell me if it hurts" he commanded, and you felt something start to press against you. Ah, that the books had told you about.
You nodded, interlacing your fingers together with his. You had expected pain and discomfort, but there was nothing of the sorts when Sukuna slowly started to enter you, patiently taking his time to work you open.
Still, you were struggling to accommodate his size.
"Is this, um, normal?" you questioned, worrying again about him finding you inadequate. Was it possible you were built so wrong you could never do this in the first place?
But Sukuna laughed, and slowly, he let go of one of your hands to bring it lower, to where you were connected. The tips of his fingers seemed to find the bundle of nerves he had been exploring with his tongue earlier, softly taking it between his thumb and index, the sensation alone making your body jolt again.
"Relax for me" he kissed the side of your face, hips managing to sink into you just a little bit more as you tried to do as he asked.
You had never read of this technique he was employing, but you weren't opposed to it at all.
The pleasure slowly did make you relax, and little by little Sukuna's hips sunk deeper, finally entering you halfway. He grunted on top of you, clearly struggling to not lose composure as well, while you relished in the sensation of being so completely full.
You had always hoped to lose your maidenhood with someone you loved, and you had actually done it.
Sukuna had saved you from that as well.
"Beautiful" he kissed the side of your face, taking himself the last few inches into you before entering all the way. You let out a loud whimper when you felt his hips connect with yours, but soon they started moving, and suddenly all the fears were wiped away.
This felt good.
"Ohβ" you whimpered as Sukuna rolled his hips into you, pushing himself up just a little to watch your beautiful face as you took him for the first time.
You looked down to see where you were connected, mesmerized by the scene, but soon you looked up again β to his penetrating crimson eyes, and the handsome smile beneath them.
Sukuna had a trickle of sweat dripping from his forehead, threatening to fall on you, but you didn't care. You were happy to share everything with him, every fluid and sweat and every inch of you β what had once seemed so terrifying, now brought you nothing but pleasure.
Sukuna felt so right inside of you.
He enjoyed the way your eyes were turning to the back of your head, his fingers going back to massaging the bundle of nerves to make you feel even more electric. You clenched him and Sukuna responded with a groan, hips slamming faster and faster into you.
You loved this, loved him β loved how desperate he was to make you feel good.
Just as that odd sensation started to creep back up again, you pulled him by the shoulders to lay completely on top of you, almost crushing you under his weight, but you didn't care.
You wanted his mouth on yours when you felt that high again.
And like he had thought the same, you felt him jolt inside of you too, whole body tensing as something started to spill inside of you, along with your name echoing from Sukuna's lips.
What if you did become pregnant now, you found yourself wondering? There would be no need to tell more lies, then.
But you were happy to keep trying anyway, just to be safe β of course.
There was so much still left to do. So much left to consider.
But right now, you deserved this little bit of peace. To be held in your lover's embrace, to be touched by hands that worshiped you. By the man who you trusted to keep you and your loved ones safe.
And all else could wait.
β§ a/n this chapter was so much fun i really hope you enjoyyy!! i love these two so much. part of me actually wants to add an extra chapter but we shall see.... excited to hear your thoughts <33
pms? tender breasts? don't worry, your κ°devotedκ± boyfriend satoru gojo is happy to be your personal bra for the day ౨ৠ1.1k
fluff ; crack ; suggestive art by @/Rezijellyfish0
It was a morning like any other.
You woke up curled right into your boyfriend Satoru Gojo's side, practically on top of him on the comfortable double bed. You didn't really have much room, not with his habit of lying down like a starfish, but you couldn't blame him β his long limbs just needed to take up all the space every night, and so you were forced to use your boyfriend as a pillow, of course.
Your favourite pillow.
You were awfully comfortable like this, nuzzling into his broad chest as the morning light started to bleed in through the half open window. Yes, so comfortable you could just drift away again... until.
Until those long limbs started to close in towards you.
That was another one of his morning habits, you see. Even for how spread out he liked to sleep, as soon as Satoru started to drift back into consciousness β you were the first thing he'd search for.
In his half asleep haze he closed his arms around you, squeezing you into him with all his might, letting out the most satisfied of hums. Not you, however β the sound that escaped your mouth was somewhere between a yelp and a cry for help.
"Baby?!" Satoru sprung into consciousness in a second. "What's wrong?!"
His bright blue eyes snapped open to see you pouting at him, hands over your already very sore breasts that he had painfully squeezed against his side. "Oh" he frowned, understanding. "It's that week, isn't it?"
You nodded slowly, letting Satoru manoeuvre you on your back so he could rest on his elbow next to you. When you first found out he was tracking your cycle you did call him a freak, but to be honest, it was worth it with how gentle he was with you now.
"Is it really bad?" he asked, tracing soft lines over your collarbone with his free hand. His touch was feather light, his hand apologising to your tender skin.
"It hurts" you exhaled, letting your head sink into the pillow with a long sigh. "They feel heavy"
"Heavy?" Satoru echoed, very obviously looking down to your chest. Naturally, you pinched him. "Ow! What was that for?"
"I'm in pain and you want to check if they're bigger?!" you growled, ready to throw a pillow right on his stupid white hair.
"No no no, you know I think theyβre perfectβ Satoru apologised immediately, peppering kisses all over your face. "It was for science only"
"Sure" you rolled your eyes, but you couldn't keep the angry act for long, not with your boyfriend's puppy dog eyes so close to your face.
"I mean it, I only want to help" he said, sitting up. And you did believe him β your boyfriend had been trying his best since he figured out how difficult pms was for you.
Last month, he even bought you a personalised hot water bottle with both your initials on it. Baby blue, of course.
You weren't sure who else would be confusing their hot water bottle for yours anyway, but its the gesture that counts.
"Come here baby, I'll help you up" he called to you with wide open arms, but as soon as he started to pull you up, you groaned again. "Is it that bad?" he grimaced, seeing your hands go back to holding onto your sore breasts.
Unfortunately, it was.
"It's ok" you tried to deflect, feeling bad for how worried he seemed. "You don't have to worry about mβ"
"None of that" Satoru pouted. "Does that help?" he nodded to your hands, clearly some sort of plan starting to form in that head of his.
"Kind of" you replied, massaging yourself. "Should probably put on a bra" you sighed.
"In bed?!" Satoru shook his messy white hair side to side. "It's unfair" he completed solemnly. And you agreed with him.
But then he opened up his mouth again, with that tone he employed when he was going to suggest something... unusual.
"Why don't you...let me help?"
That made you stop halfway, turning up to look at him. "What do you mean?"
"Justβ¦ come here" he said, extending those pale fingers to you. You had one raised eyebrow, but let him do what he had intended β and soon his large palms were closing around your breasts.
"Pervert" you deadpanned.
"You said it helped!" he argued.
You took a moment, considering. You were very used to your boyfriend touching you everywhere, of course, but you had never seen him look so commited about it. It was almost endearing, in a kind of, um, odd way.
"So, what, you'll just be my personal bra today?" you teased.
"If you want me to" he nodded.
"Aren't your arms getting tired?" you narrowed your eyes at him.
"Baby, this is what I train for" he replied smugly.
You let out a little laugh, enjoying your boyfriend's silly plan and how serious he was about it. "You can't possibly keep this up" you joked.
"Wanna bet?"
You shouldn't have said yes. But of course you did.
The rest of the day was spent with Satoru glued to you β more so than usual. "You're enjoying this" you poked him as he stood with his chin on top of your head and his hands right where he promised they'd be, watching you make your morning coffee.
"You wound me, princess" he pretended to sigh. "This is for your own good"
Sure it was.
Later you sat down to watch TV, and Satoru placed you right on his lap, before his hands returned to your chest. "You're ridiculous" you laughed, his chin heavy on your shoulder this time and your back to his chest.
"Is it helping?" he asked.
In truth, it was. He was warm and soft and much more comfortable than a real bra; and walking around like you had been cursed into attachment was lifting your mood as much as it was annoying you too.
His eccentric ways were just one of the things you loved about your boyfriend, after all.
Of course, this all got a bit too ridiculous when you announced you were going to shower, and got followed by the white haired giant all the way into the bathroom. "You can't be serious" you looked up at him.
"I only want to helβOw! Ok, I'll be outside"
You laughed, seeing his pout as he closed the door behind him. It was adorable how devoted he was to this stupid plan β and you also couldn't deny you missed his loving touch as soon as he had let go of you.
Maybe he could help you shower too. He only wanted you to feel better, right?
"Satoru" you called, not even surprised when the door opened before you had even finished saying his name.
"Need me?" he grinned from ear to ear.
You would have pinched him again if he wasn't so damn adorable.
my boobs feel like they're about to explode and this is what came of it I don't know what else to say
pms? tender breasts? don't worry, your κ°devotedκ± boyfriend satoru gojo is happy to be your personal bra for the day ౨ৠ1.1k
fluff ; crack ; suggestive art by @/Rezijellyfish0
It was a morning like any other.
You woke up curled right into your boyfriend Satoru Gojo's side, practically on top of him on the comfortable double bed. You didn't really have much room, not with his habit of lying down like a starfish, but you couldn't blame him β his long limbs just needed to take up all the space every night, and so you were forced to use your boyfriend as a pillow, of course.
Your favourite pillow.
You were awfully comfortable like this, nuzzling into his broad chest as the morning light started to bleed in through the half open window. Yes, so comfortable you could just drift away again... until.
Until those long limbs started to close in towards you.
That was another one of his morning habits, you see. Even for how spread out he liked to sleep, as soon as Satoru started to drift back into consciousness β you were the first thing he'd search for.
In his half asleep haze he closed his arms around you, squeezing you into him with all his might, letting out the most satisfied of hums. Not you, however β the sound that escaped your mouth was somewhere between a yelp and a cry for help.
"Baby?!" Satoru sprung into consciousness in a second. "What's wrong?!"
His bright blue eyes snapped open to see you pouting at him, hands over your already very sore breasts that he had painfully squeezed against his side. "Oh" he frowned, understanding. "It's that week, isn't it?"
You nodded slowly, letting Satoru manoeuvre you on your back so he could rest on his elbow next to you. When you first found out he was tracking your cycle you did call him a freak, but to be honest, it was worth it with how gentle he was with you now.
"Is it really bad?" he asked, tracing soft lines over your collarbone with his free hand. His touch was feather light, his hand apologising to your tender skin.
"It hurts" you exhaled, letting your head sink into the pillow with a long sigh. "They feel heavy"
"Heavy?" Satoru echoed, very obviously looking down to your chest. Naturally, you pinched him. "Ow! What was that for?"
"I'm in pain and you want to check if they're bigger?!" you growled, ready to throw a pillow right on his stupid white hair.
"No no no, you know I think theyβre perfectβ Satoru apologised immediately, peppering kisses all over your face. "It was for science only"
"Sure" you rolled your eyes, but you couldn't keep the angry act for long, not with your boyfriend's puppy dog eyes so close to your face.
"I mean it, I only want to help" he said, sitting up. And you did believe him β your boyfriend had been trying his best since he figured out how difficult pms was for you.
Last month, he even bought you a personalised hot water bottle with both your initials on it. Baby blue, of course.
You weren't sure who else would be confusing their hot water bottle for yours anyway, but its the gesture that counts.
"Come here baby, I'll help you up" he called to you with wide open arms, but as soon as he started to pull you up, you groaned again. "Is it that bad?" he grimaced, seeing your hands go back to holding onto your sore breasts.
Unfortunately, it was.
"It's ok" you tried to deflect, feeling bad for how worried he seemed. "You don't have to worry about mβ"
"None of that" Satoru pouted. "Does that help?" he nodded to your hands, clearly some sort of plan starting to form in that head of his.
"Kind of" you replied, massaging yourself. "Should probably put on a bra" you sighed.
"In bed?!" Satoru shook his messy white hair side to side. "It's unfair" he completed solemnly. And you agreed with him.
But then he opened up his mouth again, with that tone he employed when he was going to suggest something... unusual.
"Why don't you...let me help?"
That made you stop halfway, turning up to look at him. "What do you mean?"
"Justβ¦ come here" he said, extending those pale fingers to you. You had one raised eyebrow, but let him do what he had intended β and soon his large palms were closing around your breasts.
"Pervert" you deadpanned.
"You said it helped!" he argued.
You took a moment, considering. You were very used to your boyfriend touching you everywhere, of course, but you had never seen him look so commited about it. It was almost endearing, in a kind of, um, odd way.
"So, what, you'll just be my personal bra today?" you teased.
"If you want me to" he nodded.
"Aren't your arms getting tired?" you narrowed your eyes at him.
"Baby, this is what I train for" he replied smugly.
You let out a little laugh, enjoying your boyfriend's silly plan and how serious he was about it. "You can't possibly keep this up" you joked.
"Wanna bet?"
You shouldn't have said yes. But of course you did.
The rest of the day was spent with Satoru glued to you β more so than usual. "You're enjoying this" you poked him as he stood with his chin on top of your head and his hands right where he promised they'd be, watching you make your morning coffee.
"You wound me, princess" he pretended to sigh. "This is for your own good"
Sure it was.
Later you sat down to watch TV, and Satoru placed you right on his lap, before his hands returned to your chest. "You're ridiculous" you laughed, his chin heavy on your shoulder this time and your back to his chest.
"Is it helping?" he asked.
In truth, it was. He was warm and soft and much more comfortable than a real bra; and walking around like you had been cursed into attachment was lifting your mood as much as it was annoying you too.
His eccentric ways were just one of the things you loved about your boyfriend, after all.
Of course, this all got a bit too ridiculous when you announced you were going to shower, and got followed by the white haired giant all the way into the bathroom. "You can't be serious" you looked up at him.
"I only want to helβOw! Ok, I'll be outside"
You laughed, seeing his pout as he closed the door behind him. It was adorable how devoted he was to this stupid plan β and you also couldn't deny you missed his loving touch as soon as he had let go of you.
Maybe he could help you shower too. He only wanted you to feel better, right?
"Satoru" you called, not even surprised when the door opened before you had even finished saying his name.
"Need me?" he grinned from ear to ear.
You would have pinched him again if he wasn't so damn adorable.
my boobs feel like they're about to explode and this is what came of it I don't know what else to say
You and Satoru broke up for a reason, you keep reminding yourself.
But even months later and, ehm⦠other people later, you find yourself staring at his contact picture, typing and deleting the same message over and over again.
How are you even supposed to break no contact? Is there a good way of reaching out to your ex without coming across as desperate or delusional?
"I miss you" your fingers type.
Delete.
No way you're starting with that β even if it is the truth.
"Hope you're well" β¦you groan before you even finish typing that one, the little sound of each letter disappearing managing to piss you off even more.
You had heard it enough times already. A monotone soundtrack to every little memory of Satoru, both good and bad, that jumped to your mind without warning the longer you stared at his handsome picture.
It felt ridiculous to miss him that much. You had tried so hard to move on β maybe just to prove a point too. Because otherwise youβd have to admit what he knew all along.
You shouldnβt embarrass yourself like that, you decide with a long sigh, ready to lock the device.
But suddenly β three little dots appear on the screen.
satoru: just send it already i can't take it anymore
Your mouth falls open in a silent gasp, and it takes everything in you to not throw the phone across the room and hide from sheer embarrassment.
Then it pings again.
satoru: hellooo?
Fuck.
Was it too late to change your number and move to a different country?
You sigh, finally typing a message you actually send.
y/n: how long have you been watching the screen
Three dots.
satoru: like 10 minutes
You let out a silent scream, heart hammering in your chest.
This is the worst possible scenario β time to deflect.
y/n: why the hell did you have my chat open anyway
Three dots againβ¦
satoru: princess I've been waiting for this moment for months
Your cheeks heat up with something other than embarrassment this time.
y/n: you're an idiot
You know heβd practically be able to hear your pout through that text. But thenβ
satoru: that guy you were dating finally fuck up?
You let out a small chuckle at his honesty. And yeah, fuck up was putting it lightly, but you didn't exactly want to get into how every man since Satoru had been a complete disappointment.
You sigh, biting the inside of your cheek to try and force back the smile that tried to form on your lips.
y/n: guess you could say that
Satoru was typing again, three dots appearing and disappearing. Maybe he was the one deleting the messages on the other side now.
You could almost picture him β that wide cheese eating grin, celebrating his prophecy coming true. You hated how right he was about the fact you wouldn't find anyone better than him.
The overly confident bastard he was.
But the message you received wasn't smug at all. If anything, it made your heart ache with that familiar comfort no one but him seemed able to give you.
satoru: did he hurt you?
You felt a tightness in your throat as you typed out a yes. It's not like you were ever in love with the guy β you hadn't really been in love with anyone since, wellβ¦ since the man you were texting right now.
White haired, blue eyed, handsome Satoru Gojo, shining so bright he overshadowed everyone in his wake, including you.
But how could anyone else even compare?
satoru: are you ok?
You bite your lower lip, reading and rereading his text. Yes that guy proved to be an asshole, but what was really making your chest hurt wasn't that short lived situationship β it was how much you missed Satoru.
Missed his stupid jokes. Missed the way he'd easily pick you up and place kisses all over your face. Missed cuddling on cold nights, laughing at the dumb movie he chose, baking cookies for lunch when his adorable pout convinced you it was healthy.
What was the use of lying, anyway?
y/n: i just really miss you
There. You finally admitted the truth you had been trying to conceal for months now.
And his response came so fast you wondered how his thumbs could type so quickly.
satoru: ill be there in 10
You laugh β Satoru easily lives a half an hour away, but you fully believe him.
How did you ever think youβd get over Satoru Gojo?
(important) DO NOT MESSAGE YOUR EX β unless he is satoru gojo, of course
β§ summary the kingdom has sunk into a violent civil war, and you and your family, the lighthouse keepers, tried your best to stay out of it. that is until a group of rebels show up injured on your doorstep, begging for shelter you can't refuse.
β§ content mdni!; historical au; angst; slow burn; eventual smut; enemies to lovers sort of; mutual pining; hurt and comfort; yearning; dark themes; fighting; depictions of blood, injuries and treatments; will add more tags as we go
β§ a/n one thing about me is asoiaf is my favourite book series and since the dunk and egg show trailer came out i've been inspired! also pls forgive any historical inaccuracies
You're married to Satoru Gojo - an arrangement since your childhood, one you're so excited for. You soon find out - he wants nothing to do with you. Any one is preferable, from the waitress at your engagement party, to his secretary. Torn apart by insecurities and devastated by the fact that you can't make this one sided affection work, you decide to find something to keep you going until Gojo finds a way to end the marriage. That's what lands you right in the notorious boxing ring in town - led by Ryomen Sukuna, who finally sees you.
pairings - Nepo baby! Gojo x Boxer! Sukuna x Heiress! reader
warnings!!! - Heavy angst, cheating, Satoru starts off cruel and mean, reader starts off very shy/insecure, yandere Sukuna. This chap - a TON of angst, lots of feelings, very explicit, tension, reader's mom is a bitch, Sukuna is a whole ass YAN in this one and emotions are running high, dual penetration, anal play, anal sex, fingering, teasing, it's a MESS and it's getting messier. 9k WC
one step closer to the poly ending, but there are at LEAST 4 more chaps left, loves. TYSM to @satolune for beta reading, and for @lizatonix for giving me advice!!
<<<part seven - masterlist - playlist
part eight
Sukuna
βMmm,β Sukuna's hand slides down your side, over your hip as he sucks a nipple into his hot mouth, that dusty rose hair tickling your skin. βDid you miss me, brat?β
βOf course I did,β you whisper, looking at him in this way that destroys him, underneath your lashes with your lips parted, your nails pressing against his skin as you grip his dress shirt. βYouβre still hurting from the fight.β
βIβm fine,β he mumbles, forgetting there is a six foot four white haired ass of a man behind you, itβs easy to forget, actually. Forget his existence, dreaming of the moment you get him out of your system β though he for now would apparently have to share you.
Itβs Sukunaβs decision β youβd do anything for him, and he already knows that, how submissive and obedient you were. In no world would Sukuna have had bruises on his throat from you, itβs as if youβre two pretty girls in one form. And he loves both sides of you, even if he is the one thatβs bringing it all out.
But he knows he could get you to himself with a few words, and youβd listen so good β you always do. Yet ultimately, what sort of regrets would you have? What sort of things would run in your beautiful, tragic mind when you thought back on Satoru Gojo and his pouty, pathetic self. His tragic β’ backstory that heβs sure the three of you all share.
Though yours is the most tragic.
Why wouldnβt you want love from both of them when you were raised with such hatred and disdain? And why wouldnβt he love to see how you open up with the both of them?
He has not seen much of you with Satoru β the brief encounter where you sucked him and gripped his cock races through his mind, but he still wonders more about it. If you look different when you cum for him, how he watches you now respond, arching for Satoruβs touch, your eyes still locked on Sukunaβs.
βIβm here, you know,β Satoru says, biting your neck. You gasp.
βOw!β
βAttention starved little shit,β Sukuna mumbles, his fingertips dipping between your soft thighs, he finds you already soaking wet, already drenching him as he glides up your slit. "Always so ready for me, arenβt you?"
βYes,β you whisper, earning another bite from the annoying little jerk behind you. He's practically rutting against your ass and whimpering like a little bitch, but Sukuna can feel how slick youβre getting. βMnh!β
His rough fingers are brushing over your clit, eliciting a soft little sigh of pleasure from your lips as he begins to circle the sensitive bundle of nerves, twitching against him in response. His cock is leaking at the sounds of you, the feel of you, the very scent β as if every bit of you was made to drive him insane.
Sukuna was semi-normal before he met you β he had girls in and out of his bed, but nothing special, nothing serious. Enough to get his cock wet and watch a pretty girl gush down him, he couldnβt really tell you their names, either. He likely was the same level of whore Satoru was.
But, the huge difference?
If he had you as a wife β he would have never done anything with another woman. Even if it was pushed on him, and he wanted to rebel like Satoru did, in no world could Sukuna not want you β not since you walked right into that gym.
Everything changed the moment he caught sight of you.
You lean up and kiss him now, he moans into your mouth in a way thatβs utterly pathetic, but itβs simply the effect you had. One that terrified him β because you werenβt even trying, you didnβt even know what you did to him, or clearly to Satoru who is lying right behind you, shifting closer as Sukunaβs tongue slips into your mouth, even in the fucking morning you taste good.
βHey,β Satoru murmurs against your ear when you pull back, cupping your face, making Sukuna pause his little circles for a moment.
Heβs still here.
Shit.
"Don't I get a good morning kiss?" he asks, his voice low, teasing, needy enough to annoy Sukuna to death.
βMmm, I guess you could get one,β Sukuna smirks, kissing your pretty tit again, continuing his circles and making you tremble.
βJust one? So generous, sweetheart.β
βIt is generous,β you turn your head, and his lips move over yours β he has seen it before, but now itβs different than that first time. Heβs kissing you with a desperate need, his hand sliding down your back, over the curve of your ass, and between your legs from behind.
You gasp out loud, and Sukuna can literally hear that squelch, your slutty lil cunt taking him in.
Sukuna wishes it turned him off, that he didnβt love feeling you move between the two of them, that he doesnβt find that string of saliva between your mouths attractive.
Maybe itβs just you.
Maybe youβve ruined Sukuna β not in the way you think, βruining his lifeβ with your own situations, no.
Youβve ruined the man altogether.
He snatches you back by your chin, kissing you again, harder, deeper, pinching your clit between two fingers and making the filthiest noises escape your lips, Sukuna swallows them up as he hears Satoruβs fingers move inside. Heβs annoyed when they brush against him, but not enough to stop his cock from twitching.
βEyes on me,β he murmurs softly, and you eagerly obey, making him smirk just a little bit. βYouβre a needy girl, arenβt you? Canβt get enough cock inside?β
βPlease,β your whisper is sweet β as if youβre asking for sugar in your coffee, nothing like what was really happening.
Two men fucking you, two men who canβt take how much they want you, two men who would do anything to have you all alone, but yetβ¦
Here they are.
Sukuna groans when your hand slips down his chest, underneath the dress shirt, fingertips gliding up his abdomen and making it tremble. Sukuna β the man who isnβt afraid of shit, whoβs beaten up so many people he canβt remember, the man who told his family to fuck themselves β here he is falling apartfrom nothing but your touch.cting as if heβs got it together.
An act.
It was all an act to seem dominant, to seem like heβs in control.
Itβs terrifying to realize he has none when it comes to you.
****
You
Youβre moaning into Sukunaβs mouth, only to get tugged back to Satoru, the push and pull maddening as two of his long, slender fingers press against your entrance, sliding in with embarrassing ease, youβre so ready. To have them both on you was unexplainable, how ready you were, how needy you were for them both, how their lips moved, their fingers.
All of them.
Sukuna doesn't stop his pretty little patterns on your clit, Satoruβs curving and hitting a new spot from the angle, Sukunaβs tugging your thigh over his hip β spreading you wider. You should feel some sense of shame, some shyness at this, but the only way you really can feel is needy, pretty, desired.
More than that.
Itβs the definition of insanity to have them tugging you back and forth for kisses, two men that hated each other long before you came along, both playing your body. The dual stimulation is overwhelming in its intensity, your hips rocking back and forth β to Sukuna on your clit, to Satoru in your slutty little hole.
You want more.
"Greedy little thing," Sukuna chuckles, his voice thick with his lust, kissing down your collarbone, your shoulder, his teeth sharp when they bite you right where Satoru has β as if he wants to make sure youβre marked even more.
"Taking my fingers so well, sweetheart,β Satoru whispers against your ear, his voice maddening, their touch driving you to arch and rock more, the sounds of your pussy echoing with that wet squish and click as they work you. βYou love it, hmm? Both of us playing with your slutty little pussy?β
βMnh,β you donβt answer that, your head falling back against Satoru's shoulder as they work your body together. Sukuna's fingers are rough with calluses, pushing harder and faster against your clit, while Satoru's long, elegant ones fuck into you faster, curling perfectly against that little spongy spot that has you dizzy.
Their heat presses into your skin from both sides, scents surrounding you.
Sukunaβs rich, dark muskβ Satoruβs brightβ hints of bergamot, the smell of the hints of your arousal sweet and mixing with the two of them as they touch you in tandem, finding a maddening rhythm.
You can't form a single word, nothing coherent, at least β just mumbles and gasps slipping from your swollen lips look into ruby and then azure eyes, both dark with desire.
How could you not feel beautiful, wanted when they look at you like this?
"Look at her," Satoru murmurs against your neck, his fingers pumping in and out of your slick heat with a mean precision he shouldnβt have.
He may not be able to eat pussy yet, but the man sure could use those fingers, they're so fucking long when you arch they hit your puffy cervix, making you cry out, clamping down on him.
"So fucking pretty, hmm?β You feel your cheeks heat up as Satoru whispers, both men kiss against your skin, having you tremble between them,Β
Sukuna hums in agreement, his free hand coming up to cup your titty, his thumb brushing over your hardened nipple.
"Fuckinβ perfect," he says, the claim clear in his voice, the possessive way he touches you, takes you over.
Addictive.Β
You're addicted to them.
The pleasure builds higher, that ache in your core spreading, veins burning like you're on fire from their fevered touches, from their fingers brushing against each other, working you together as if they both just know.
Your hands clutch at Sukuna's broad shoulders, your nails digging into his skin and earning a hiss as your orgasm is about to hit, so overwhelming you can't breathe. Caught in your throat, heart hammering in your ears, that blood rushing.Β
"That's it," Satoru whispers, his voice breathy, so intimate as his long fingers are moving faster, pushing you over the edge. "Cum for us, pretty girl."
Pretty girl.
Cum for them.
With a cry you do just fucking that β you shatter, falling apart for their hungry gazes, your cunt convulsing around Satoru's fingers. When that orgasm hits, you canβt even see, your vision blurry as that pleasure makes you dumb. They don't stop β no, they keep just working you through your orgasm, until you're falling into another, and their fingers are slipping.
"Good girl," Sukuna praises, pulling his fingertips off, glistening with you, Satoru does the same, sucking them right off, simultaneously. βHow do you want it?β
βI get to pick, hmm?β You bite your lip, tugging up Sukunaβs shirt, so your hand can slip under, brushing over his hard abdomen.
βYou can pick which hole Iβm in,β you gasp at that, hearing even Satoru chuckle a bit behind you.
βOr pick which Iβm in.β
βYou both wanna fuck my ass, really?β You look between them then, feeling their heat behind you, Satoruβs already sliding his wet, spit soaked fingers up there, two teasing your ass and pressing. βOh f-fuckβ¦β
βEven tighter there, god,β he buries his face against your neck as you feel the stretch, Sukunaβs tugging his cock out of his pants, letting it slap his abs, leaking pre and dripping, while Satoru works you faster, fingers buried deep inside.
βWe could fuck you just like this,β Sukuna says, kissing up your collar bone, tugging your thigh high up allowing his cock to tease your slit, all the while Satoru is loosening your ass up, hitting some spot that has you whining out. βGojo, I know you have lube, donβt fuckinβ do that without it.β
βI wouldnβt,β he mumbles now, and you peek back at him.
βDo you have lube?β
βLike twenty bottles,β you and Sukuna laugh, and he scowls. βWhat!?β
βTwenty!?β
βSukunaβ¦ itβs next to you,β Satoru says, biting your neck again, you gasp at the sharp pain. Sukuna eases back and bends over, tattooed back on full display for your gaze, getting even more blurred with every pump of his fingers.
βI actually do but,β he glares again at Sukuna. βJust get one.β
βOf course you do,β Sukuna lays on his back and taps his lap, you bite down on your lip nervously, straddling him, your slick dripping down his cock, his lips catching yours in a mean little kiss, hands gripping your hips possessively, making you remember his filthy words in the locker room.
βWould breed you over and over, fuckβ¦ imagine.βΒ
Satoru squirts a generous amount of lube on his fingers, kneeling behind you as Sukuna lifts you up, your hands bracing on his chest, sinking inch by inch onto his thick cock, gasping out as it fills you up. βMnghβ¦β
βLove watching myself,β he mumbles, ruby eyes dark, his hand sliding over your tummy, pressing so he can feel his cock print move from outside. βWhat would you do if I got her pregnant first?β
βYou wonβt,β Satoru smirks as he fingers your hole again, something intimate and careful with how heβs working you, sighing and closing his eyes, nuzzling against your neck. βI put so much into her last night, you know.β
Sukunaβs hands squeeze hard now, you suck in a breath at just how hard and bruising of a grip he gives you. βAh!β
βOh yeah?β He eyes the mess youβre making when he lifts you up and down him. βBet I put more in her today.β
Satoruβs working you looser and looser, until it starts to feel so good, and never did you think youβd be sandwiched right between the two men β two men at all, you β a good girl before, raised to be obedient and subservient, riding your boyfriendβs cock, while your husband is stroking his cock. You hear his little intake of breath when his tip nudges your ass, then, slipping up and down, squirting even more lube.
βYou okay, sweetheart?β He asks then, as you tense just a bit β thereβs no mocking or cruelty, not when he cups your face, nose brushing against yours, lips a breath away, pressing. βNeed more work up?β
βI wouldnβt know,β you admit, gasping when you feel your clit being rubbed, seeing Sukunaβs thumb working, having you gush down his cock.
βFocus on this,β he says, soft almost, you lean forward a bit.
βArch,β Satoru orders, you listen just like you did last night β body on some instinct, greedy and wanting to be full of them both. His tip nudges right past that tight little ring, youβre stretched in the sluttiest way, then. βLook at me.β
βMmm,β you barely manage to look as he turns your chin to face him. βSatoruβ¦β
βRelax, donβt wanna hurt you,β his words are quiet and breathy as he kisses you, hands on your waist, as Sukunaβs are on your hips. Four hands, twenty fingers, all touching you together.
βFeels good,β you admit β it does, the pain, the burn when he moans and eases in just a bit more, and Sukuna tugs you down, your hair falling like a curtain to the side, that shirt youβre wearing slipped up and thrown over your head, baring you to both of them. βKunaβ¦β
βYouβre takinβ us so good,β his praise has you dripping more, Satoruβs thickness stretching you to the point of tears, youβre sniffling as he leans back, pulling out and then sinking just a little deeper. βMade to be filled, huh? Bred in all your holes?β
βY-yes,β with Sukuna youβre like this β sweet, agreeing, but you know if Satoru asked, youβd be a brat β you wouldnβt admit it, but how easy and gentle he is back there has your mind fuzzy. You peek back, biting your lower lip as he eases into your unused hole again, his blue eyes bright as they look at you.
βDoes it hurt?β He asks, pausing as he sees your tears, you shake your head, sniffling.
βJ-just stay for a minute,β you whisper, nails pressing into Sukunaβs chest, Satoruβs fingertips slip down your spine soothingly, as he nods, and you try to relax, having Sukuna turn your chin to have you kiss him again.
Are you really this greedy, that youβre going to have them both cum inside? That youβre going to have them ruin your holes, that you love the way theyβre both touching, kissing, moving inside?
You are.
*****
Satoru
Satoru watches you, your back is arched against him with your hole being split apart by his cock, slick with that lube β he pours even more, sinking into that tiny hole again. Gripping him like a vice β his own baby blue eyes are rolling back in his skull every time he sinks just a little deeper into you.
But it's more than that, moreΒ than just how tight you are β how fucking good you feel, how pretty you are drooling, with your tears.
No β itβs the feeling of you against him, the way you trust him enough to let him take you this way, to let him take this from you β your first time there, knowing he doesnβt even deserve it. Doesnβt deserve anything, yet you still do β if he was a better person heβd tell you that you should leave him, be with Sukuna who clearly fucking adores you, itβs written on his dumb face.
Yet how can Satoru do that when heβs fallen so fucking far? When you have sunk into his mind, his body, fuck β last night you spit in his mouth β you choked him as you fucking rode him, used him. Satoru Gojo, always dominant, was falling apart underneath you as you used his cock to come again and again.
If he didnβt love you before, he knows he does when he catches sight of you kissing Sukuna, of him that close to you, holding and touching you like that? It should turn him off, sharing you, but he wants you so goddamn bad it doesnβt.
If anything it makes Satoru want to work that much harder to fill you, to wrap an arm around your waist, burying his face for just a moment and inhaling that scent mixing with Sukunaβs. He wishes that turned him off too, but if anything he wants to fuck you that much better, to ruin you on his cock till youβre babbling and dumb.
Every time Sukuna thrusts up into your cunt, you clench around his cock, making him tense up, trying not to bust. He pumped three loads into your cunt last night but he couldnβt stop from his balls getting heavy again, maddening the effect you have on both men without knowing, just looking back at him in the way that makes him ache.
Satoru leans back and spits on his length as he pulls back, tip coated in the glistening lubricant β you donβt even need it, he just wants to watch his bubbly spit sink inside you, feeling you tense up again, his lips moving as he stays still, letting Sukuna move your body.
βYou all right?β
βY-yes,β you whisper, leaning back against him again as he presses forward, his lips against your ear. Not just possessive, these feelings β theyβre protective, which should be laughable.
Imagine Gojo protecting you when he was the one who hurt you.
Yet he canβt help it, as he eases in and out, feeling that tight fit, the little clenching as you stretch around him. Satoru wants to ruin you as much as he wants to fix what he fucking did, wants you to fall apart so he can put you back together. Even he has never felt anything close to it, to take it so easy with a girl like he was right now.
Of course he hates that Sukuna is here β hates the smug look on his face as he watches you, the way his hands are all over the very body Satoru wants to possess entirely, the way his cock is already inside your cunt. How he got to take you first, claiming a part of you Satoru couldnβt have.
He feels that β the fucking rage as much as he feels that heady desire, the need to pump you full, mixing with the maddening urges to kiss you.
Itβs too much, when you look at him like that, with your lidded eyes and your lashes lowered. Your lips parted. You turn your head, face flushed and tears trailing from the corners of your eyes right down your pretty cheeks, irises all fucked out and glittering in a way they shouldnβt for him, as he sinks even deeper.
"Satoru..." Any irritation about how Sukuna grabs you just... melts, when you look at him like that β when your voice trembles, and your lips reach out for a kiss. Satoru does kiss you, trying to pour all the fucking feelings he has that he canβt say for shit, knowing it would hurt you both.
What he feels for you β what he did to you, what he regrets, how fucking furious he is at Sukuna, the overwhelming feelings he has for you, all spilling as he shoves his entire cock inside you, feeling Sukuna through you, as he pauses too, letting you try to take all of him.
βAh! Too much,β you mumble, thighs shaking, the two men rubbing your thighs gently, brushing your hair back, murmuring your name.
"Relax, don't wanna hurt you," he murmurs against your lips, forcing himself to halt despite every cell in his body screaming to move, to fuck into your tight little hole until you forget your own name, but he forces himself to be gentle, to kiss across your neck and stay there. βJust breathe, yeah?β
βIf itβs too muchβ¦β
βI can take it,β you whisper now, letting Sukuna lean up and kiss you, messy as you relax underneath their touches. βItβs a lotβ¦β
βYouβre doing such a good job,β Sukuna tells you, Satoruβs grip tightens just a bit for a moment, still buried and not moving, until you arch back just a bit, whining out and turning to him again, kissing Satoru in a way you really shouldnβt.
Spitting in his mouth was really already better than you should give him, but sweet kisses as you trust him, as he works you open carefully, his fingers running soothing little circles down your waist, letting you get used to it β never has he felt like this, just fucking or even sharing.
This is different from last night, even, so intimate Satoru himself is trembling inside of you β when you finally give a shaky nod for him to move again, he waits for the okay, feeling you grip him. He can feel Sukuna's thick cock through the thin wall of your body, and the friction is maddening whether he wants to admit it or now, every time Satoru pushes in, Sukuna pulls out.
The two men somehow work you perfect despite hating each other, Sukuna will fuck your pussy with filthy, loud smacks as Satoru waits, then heβll rub your clit and pin you down, and Satoru will move. Heβs easier with you, careful, reaching around to take over rubbing your clit while Sukuna sucks your pretty nipples into his mouth, seeing that bulge move.
Satoru knows his eyes are locked on your stomach, dark, black with desire.
Heβd be dumb not to notice that man worships you to the point of insanity, but how could he not?
The two men take over your body as you fall apart between them, gushing down Sukuna and clamping down when you shatter.
Youβre mumbling their names as he watches your pretty face, sees you losing yourself to it, head falling back on his shoulder, mouth open and slack, drool just spilling as they both take you over.Β
"Look at you," Sukuna groans, his eyes locked on where your bodies are joined, where your slick is pooling down his belly button. "Taking both of us so fucking well. Your greedy little holes are just sucking us in, huh?"
βMngh,β his words make you clench around him and Satoru, making both of them let out slutty little moans. βFeels sβgood Iβ¦β
"Feel that?" Satoru murmurs, his lips brushing against your ear, leaving goosebumps on your skin, his words so quiet only you can hear. "Feel how deep I am? Can you, sweetheart?
You answer with a little nod, Sukuna sits up, working your body, both men fucking you faster, the sounds utterly debauched in Satoruβs room.
βAnswer me.β
βYes,β you barely whisper. βYes, c-can feel youβ¦β
βTook this first, hah,β heβs toxic then, but you donβt scowl or argue, letting him be possessive. βHe got your pretty lil cunt, yeah? Thatβs okay, baby, Iβll fuckinβ ruin you till you forget him.β
βMnhβ¦β
Satoruβs lost in you, hearing Sukuna mutter just about the same as he is, the two men pushing and pulling till they cum inside both your holes, filling you so full, youβre dripping in a little sheen of sweat as they ease out, both of those holes stretched and drooling white. Satoru gathers the mess and toys with you where youβre sensitive, feeling you twitch between them as you come down, and theyβre both kissing you carefully, soothing you.
Satoru has never felt whatever the fuck you do to him, but every time itβs more intimate β itβs more intense, his snowy lashes fluttering against your neck as his breaths rush on your skin.
βAm I getting breakfast?β
βSukuna!β You giggle and Satoru snorts, rolling his eyes.
βHow can you think of breakfast with her here like this?β Satoruβs words make you pause a bit, your hands gripping his wrists tightly, leaning back just a bit.
βWell Iβm hungry, fuck I just had a match,β he chuckles at your little look. βDo I have to order?β
βIβll cook, I just need help getting up so I can clean off,β Sukuna picks your ass up and carries you toward the bathroom, and your eyes meet Gojoβs, biting down on your lower lip as you study him, before burying your face.
That look.
******
Sukuna
βSo,β Sukuna looks at you as you box in your cute little pink gloves, focusing by worrying your lower lip, your eyes looking up to him now.
βSo?β You ask, stopping the punching and resting a bit on the bag, Sukuna can see the muscles forming in your arms from all your work, he wants to trace the bicep there but youβre around people.
Thatβs when it hits β the truth, the real fucking pain that cuts him, when heβs not lost inside you or alone with you. Even alone with Satoru, he can be with you how he wants, but in public?
There was nothing you two could do to rouse any suspicion, even in the gym he tried to keep it formal, until he could finger your pretty cunt in the locker room, until he could steal a kiss until youβre breathless. The two of you are achingly careful. Trying to appear that youβre just friends, especially with you having been spotted at the boxing match β though luckily no one saw you actually with Sukuna.
Yet the pain of knowing Satoru could touch you and hold you all he wanted ate him alive, that he could just be so close, and no one would ever say a thing. You were his wife, you had his last fucking name β Gojo.
Your last name was Gojo.
And with every encounter, he can tell the feelings for Satoru grow, though he can feel them growing for him too, he can tell every time youβre near him youβd do anything and everything. It would take him to softly tell you to leave Satoru, and youβd figure it the fuck out for Sukuna β you gave him everything.
Thatβs why he couldnβt take the choice away from you.
βWhat is it, Kuna?β You ask now, your dumb little nickname he loves so goddamn much, he sighs, stepping closer and turning you, acting as if heβs guiding you into a good form when all he wants to do is touch you.
βYou wanna work here?β You giggle at that, looking back at him. βIβm deadass β why are you laughing?β
βIβd love to work here, what!?β You keep giggling, losing your form until Sukuna chuckles a bit, shaking his head. βDoing what?β
βYou can help me run numbers, itβs not my best. Wasnβt that your degree?β
βYou know what I graduated in?β You ask, blinking a bit β Sukuna has to remember you have no clue the deep dive he did on you.
He could be called obsessed.
Sukuna couldnβt help but want to know every fucking bit about you β including that you were top of your class in business, heβs sure your parents made you take those courses, but your GPA was impeccable. Youβre blinking a bit as his hands go to your shoulders, positioning them.
βYou wanted to work, you told me beforeβ¦β
βI do! Iβm so nervous, I never have. Is that insane?β
βNo, itβs just you werenβt ever supposed to,β he breathes out now. βI wasnβt supposed to beat the shit out of your parents either, butβ¦β
βKuna!β
He grins as you elbow him playfully. βIβm also not supposed to fuck married women, hmm?β
βYouβre awful,β you pout now, shoving him and then realizing people are still around, even if the gym is closing. βYou canβt say that so loud.β
βIβd love to fuck you right here,β you suck in a breath. βBut I canβt even fucking touch you, can I?β
You blink back tears for just a moment, stepping back as if you were slapped, Sukuna curses, shaking his head. βI need toβ¦β
You step away, rushing off as he realizes what heβd just said β he hadnβt meant for those words to spill, heβs not some emotional man β fuck, before you he had no relationships. No cares other than who would be sucking his cock, maybe who would entertain him for a few months, but nothing was like this β maddening, insanity, the need for more of you.
When you werenβt even his.
Sukuna tries to give it a moment so it doesnβt look more suspicious, before walking back, tugging you into his office before you can make it to the locker room, shutting the door behind you. βDonβt run away, brat β I didnβt mean it bad towards you, okay?β
βI hurt you,β your whisper breaks him, your lips trembling, tears slipping down your cheeks, taking several shaky breaths as he cups your face, and your hands come to his wrists, those gloves falling to the floor off your arm. βI do hurt you.β
βStop worrying about me,β you sniffle, tears falling, shaking your head again. βI fucking swear to god, youβre going to get your ass beat until itβs covered in my handprints, actinβ like a brat.β
βStop trying to cheer me up,β your eyes shut now, tears falling. βI just hurt both of you. Donβt I?β
βNo, and why the fuck do you care if you hurt him anyway?β Sukuna tilts your chin up now. βYou arenβt the one hurting me.β
βYou are hurt that you canβt touch me, like thisβ¦β you put a hand on his chest. βThat we have to sneak around.β
βItβs justβ¦ fuck this,β he pulls back, cursing β hating the simpering mess youβve made of him in the short time, walking towards his desk with his hands on it, feeling you walk up, a hand on his back gently. βJust go.β
βDo you really want me to go? Or do you want me to work for you?β He sighs, looking back at you, you wrap your arms around his waist, burying your face against him now. βI want to work with you.β
βDonβt.β
βSukuna!β
βJust go home,β you bury your face again. βConfusing little brat. Swear to god you annoy the shit out of me sometimes.β
βYou love it,β you mumble. βYou love me.β
βYes I love you,β he sighs and tries to disentangle himself, switching your positions so youβre pressed on his desk now, cupping your face. βLove you so much I let that dumb, white haired fuck have you too.β
You take a little breath, sighing now, as he tugs your shorts up your thighs, hands on your ass, lifting you like itβs nothing and propping you on the desk, he leaned low. βI told you that this is enough for me.β
βIs it?β
βI love you, Sukuna,β he looks down at you, tilting your chin up.
βWhat do you feel for Gojo, then?β
βItβs so complicated, I donβtβ¦ I feel tooβ¦ thereβs too much, the two of you, splitting me in half. I feel like Iβm only giving you half of me, and you deserve a whole person.β
He pauses then, letting your tears fall. βYou think I wouldnβt take half of you over any other person?β
βHowβs it fair to you?β
βI want your half, your whole, every little piece I can get,β he laughs now, cruel as he grips your chin too tight. βI canβt not fucking have you and you exist.β
βThen why do you push me away?β
Sukuna says nothing, kissing you now, a softer kiss than he ever gives you, letting you sigh into his mouth. βIβm not.β
βYou told me to go,β you kiss him back, thighs pressed on either side of his hips. βI donβt want you to hurt over me.β
Sukuna canβt take thinking of not having you, he canβt think of you finding your feelings for Gojo to be more than him, to lose you to him β to lose you altogether. Better for him to have the part in it, the control over the woman he canβt stand the thought of ever not seeing β fuck, even a night without you was torture.
βYouβre fine, bratβ¦ was just thinking,β your lashes flutter shut as he studies you, calloused thumb brushing your lip. βToo loud, didnβt mean to say the shit.β
βI donβt want us to be a secret either,β you admit, eyes opening slowly now. βAs for right now, I canβt see a way to-β
βItβs fine, Iβm fine,β he lies, and you clearly know it, tears spilling again, making him tense. βStop crying, now.β
βYou canβt just tell me to stop!?β
βYeah I can, you listen to what I say,β you bite your lip hard, Sukuna tugs it out from your teeth. βYou havenβt done shit wrong. Aside from letting him fuck your ass before I got to.β
βSukuna!β You giggle even through your tears, and he scowls. βAre you serious right now?β
βVery, should have been me,β he kisses you, pressing your back against his desk, hand gripping yours, lips moving down your throat as your hands find their way to his rosy locks, entangling in them. βAll of your firsts should be me.β
βYou got my throat, myβ¦ pussy,β he laughs at how cutely you say that, like it shouldnβt be said. βWhat!β
βYouβre adorable,β he mumbles, leaning up and kissing your cheeks, as the affection and protective way he feels ruins him further.
Sukuna is so in love it makes him fucking sick.
βYou got those, youβre so greedy you wanted that too?β You tease, trying to hold it together, clearly, Sukuna hums, tilting his head, as his necklace dangles against your skin, you touch it carefully between your fingers, eyes dazed.
βI wanted your first kiss too,β he admits softly, nuzzling your nose. βI want to be the first for everything, yes β I donβt care if itβs toxic. I want to get you pregnant, want you to be my fucking wife.β
βSukunaβ¦β You gasp now.
βI know thatβs not happening, not yetβ¦β he says quietly, kissing you deeper, needier. βDoesnβt mean I donβt want it. Doesnβt mean I wonβt take it the very moment that dumb little shit fucks up, Iβll take you away from him so goddamn fast. Make you disappear."
βY-youβ¦ mnghβ¦β Heβs kissing down your chest, as he loses his mind, huge hands taking over your pretty tits, squishing them as he grinds himself against you, feeling your heat. βDisappear?β
βTell your parents you died, take you the fuck away,β he sighs now, nuzzling your nose with his, like heβs not being insane. βI would do it, princess. So fucking fast β Iβd tell him you died, too, if you didnβt love him so much.β
βIβ¦β you canβt answer it, his teeth sink into your skin as your thighs grip his slutty waist. βYouβre talking nonsense.β
βAm I?β He grins now, and watches your face flush, your lips part. βIβd do anything to keep you the fuck away from them.β
βI have to see them tomorrow,β you mumble, gasping when his grip tightens. βI knowβ¦β
βYou wet because I said Iβd tell everyone youβre dead? Or because Iβd kidnap you, huh?β You donβt answer, just kept dripping more until you soak his gym shorts. βSlutty little brat, just for meβ¦ I would keep you to myself.β
βSukunaβ¦β You just kiss him again, when a knock comes from the door, you pause, eyes widening β as it once again hits him.
Youβre not his to the public.
How will he handle seeing the news, the press of you and Gojo at some get together tomorrow?Β
He eases off you, setting your clothes right before he answers the door, leaning down to brush your hair back behind your ear. βYou think about working for me.β
Itβs selfish, really.
Sukuna just wants more of you.
*****
You
Youβre at a charity function that weekend with Satoru, but this is different than the last one, there was no awkward silence in the limo, he was peeking at his phone as you texted Sukuna, sighing and having you look curiously.
βWhatβs wrong?β You asked, heβd rolled his eyes.
βJust Jennifer trying to see me again, I donβt know how much more clear I could be about it,β you had tensed a bit.
βYou know, since Iβm with Sukuna I canβt tell you not to be with them, even though I felt she was coming at me a certain way-β
βI donβt want her.β
You blinked a bit at that. βNot at all?β
βNo, I want whatever parts of you I can have before youβre gone,β he had cupped your face, eyes looking down at your lips as the limo drove quietly in the night, you had bit your lower lip, sighing.
βYou canβt say things like that, Satoruβ¦β
βNo?β
βNo,β youβd given in, leaning in first for that kiss β ones he usually stole, but in that moment how could you not? βMmm, Satoru Iβ¦β
βShh,β he kept kissing you, until you were on his lap, his hand sliding up the small of your back, where it was bare from your dress, you felt your heart hammer in your chest. βYouβre so fuckinβ pretty.β
βYou shh,β he snorted a bit at that, kissing you again as your arm wrapped around his neck, a hand slipping up along his undercut, brushing the silky strands there and arching your hips. βI see why you were such a whore, talking like that to all your girls.β
He paused, blinking and leaning back, looking up at you carefully. βYou are pretty, youβve always been. Always too good for me.β
You had paused, breath caught in your throat, the emotions so thick you could hardly stand him in that moment. βWhy did you do all this?β
He was quiet, looking down, but you had taken his chin in your hand, looking down into pretty blue eyes full of pain, full of self loathing. βI wanted you to have your own choice β and you got it.β
You laughed, shaking your head at him. βBut weβ¦ you hadβ¦ this, is it just physical to you?β
βIf it was β it would be fucking easy,β he murmured, a hushed, angry whisper hot against your lips. βI wish that I just wanted to fuck you, and thatβs all it was β not the torture you put me through.β
βMe torturing you!?β You laughed then, a mean little one that has his brows lowered, eyes narrowed, fingers pressing in the curve of your waist until you cry out softly. Satoru sat up straighter, tugging you against his chest. βThatβs insane, do you know what you fucking did to me?β
βIf you were smart, youβd leave me for Sukuna,β you slapped him, a harsh, loud little sound that had him turning his head, the red blossoming. βYou wouldnβt let me touch you at all. You wouldnβt look at me the way you do.β
βI am smart, thank you very fucking much β Iβm only dumb when it comes toβ¦β You had trailed off then. βWhatever the fuck this is.β
You couldnβt say the words, the ones trapped in your throat β You love him, and you hate him.
So fucking much.
βYouβre such a mean little girl with me,β he says, laughing now, the sound bitter as he pins you against him, taking your wrists and pressing them behind your back, taking you over. βSo sweet with your βKunaβ though, yeah?β
βHeβs sweet to me,β Satoru had pouted, youβd itched to smack him again, enjoying the red on his cheek.
βI could be sweet to you,β heβd kissed up your jaw, lips brushing your ear until you had trembled, cunt slick underneath your panties like a betrayal. βIf youβd ever let me be, but itβs too late, isnβt it?β
βThe only one who keeps saying itβll end is you,β you blinked hot tears, his sigh tickling your skin. βYou wanted it to end before it started.β
βDo you really wanna know what I feel, sweetheart? Could you actually even handle hearing it?β
You had said nothing, letting him keep your arms pinned, as he had pulled back and looked at you desperately, sighing and using his other hand to grip under your chin, fingers on either side of your windpipe. The limo wasparked, but you had sat there longer than you should have, as Satoru again tore you into pieces by merely existing in your atmosphere.
The thoughts of that are rampant, the way his hand is on your waist tonight, as you both mingle β seeing your parents, seeing the press out front. Satoru dances with you tonight, even as you glare up at him, he doesnβt look at another β a stark contrast from the first time you danced.
With his fingers glistening with another woman.
You havenβt forgotten β no, you remember it all. Yet with every dip and move, every spin and hold, every murmur in your ear and brush against your skin, you feel his desire. You feel the want, the need β so desperate from him, even if he hasnβt said the words like Sukuna did.
Iβd tell them you died.
Sukuna was insane β but you loved him for it.
Satoru was damaged β and you still love him.
Even if you canβt say those damn words to Gojo, scared to give him that power, terrified to hurt again and more afraid to hurt him and Sukuna β theyβre there, when Sukuna had asked you.
What do you feel for Gojo?Β
What did you feel, besides split in half β two versions of you love two different men, and the love is different, itβs not stronger for one or the other. Just because Sukunaβs seemed easier, it didnβt make it less β and just because the hatred for Satoru lingered, didnβt mean you loved him less.
Youβre lost in thought as Satoru has to mingle, and youβre sipping on a bubbly glass of champagne, when something grips your wrist, and the drops glitter onto the tile floor below. You gasp out at it, blinking rapidly, and you look up to see your mother, dragging you as far away as she can, the glass falling to the ground in the haste, crashing and splitting into pieces.
βMotherβ¦ Iβ¦β
βShut your mouth,β she has you in a quiet hall, out of sight β and you feel so small then, like you always did.
No matter how much love you felt, no matter how strong Sukuna tries to make you, every memory of her punishment leaves you stuck, unable to move, like your feet were glued to the very floor in those pretty heels.
You still were afraid of her.
βWhat is it?β You try to hold it together, and she laughs β a mean, sharp sound.Β
βYou think everyone didnβt see you at that match?β Your mother leans low towards you, her jaw setting.
βI justβ¦β
βSlut,β her words are sharp, they slap you hard β so hard you struggle to get it together at all. βI canβt believe Gojo deals with you.β
βYou have no clue about our relationship,β you whisper now, as her hand tightens on your wrist, her manicured nails pressing in. βYou donβt know anything about me or Satoru.β
βI know he lets you fuck the town, hmm?β You laugh sharply, shaking your head. βYouβre not worthy of someone like him β but even you shouldnβt sink as low as Ryomen Sukuna.β
βAre you mad that he beat dad up? Ah,β she smacks you then with a quick movement of her hand, and you tremble as the pain hits, stinging your cheeks with this brutal, lingering burn.
βShut up you stupid little bitch,β your nails press into your palms, trying to tug away from her. βJust because Gojo deals with you for now, doesnβt mean you wonβt become our problem when he kicks you aside. The shame youβll bring to us.β
The truth of that does hit β at some point, Satoru was ending the marriage, whether you two were like before β hating each other, or nowβ¦Β
What were you now?
Now he had been inside you, all your holes had been full of his cum, and heβd kissed you in ways he shouldnβt have. Offering a position at his company, even, meant perhaps heβd push it off a bit, mitigate the damage of such a quick divorce, his thought process must also be skewed with everything.
Yet the pain of thinking of never seeing him again fills you, this dread in the pit of your stomach growing, you canβt handle it suddenly, as much as you wanted to leave him before, now everything has changed. There were too many moments, too much between you for you not to be sad when the day comes, even though you will have Sukuna.
You love two men, and the ways they make you feel are completely different β submissive and sweet with Sukuna, dominant and bratty with Satoru, both of them pulling these things out of you that you never knew were there, that you never really acknowledged could exist. How could you have any semblance of a normal life when theyβve both crashed into you?
Now Satoru has forgone any other woman β when he doesnβt have to, but even now you catch sight of him walking by, his eyes immediately darting to your face, his jaw tensing. You step back just a bit and your mom steps forward, not noticing Satoru walking up behind her.
You give an imperceptible shake of your head, as if to stop him, when she takes that wrong, raising her hand again for Satoru to grip her wrist, halting her.
βExcuse me!? I,β she looks back now and pales visiblyβ she surely thought the two of you were all alone over here. βI wasβ¦β
βGet. Your. Hands. Off her.β Satoru's words are quiet, this faint blue vein pressing from his temple.
βI simply am looking out for your reputation,β she says, letting him lower her hand. βShe was seen at that boxing match.β
βSeen what, enjoying it? Enjoying boxing?β
βThat will never do, and what is with this talk of her working?!β
βShe wants to,β Satoru looks at you now, his smile sad. βIf she wants to work, why can't she?β
βNot at the gym!β
βThen she can work part-time with me too,β he says smoothly, laughing softly now. βI am in need of an assistant.β
****
Satoru
It takes everything in Gojo not to kill your mother, not to act up and ruin her life, for hitting your pretty face. He can hardly hold himself together, seeing the surprise on your face, expecting a no. Expecting anything other than the relief in your face, how you clutch at your dress so tightly, reminding him of the night your dad split your lip.
He should have been the one to beat him.
βI could do that,β you say now β surprising him more. Your mom sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose. βSurely that would look good? Me working with the Gojo corp?β
She looks at Satoru, who tugs you against him, wrapping an arm around your waist, feeling the tenseness of your body, how you tremble β why couldnβt he have protected you then, at their house? Why couldnβt he have done more, why did he let you alone with them?
He barely knew you then β but the writing was on the wall, if they treated you like this in publicβ¦
What had they done in private?
βKeep your gym job a secret, then,β she orders, you quietly nod. βGojo is better than you deserve. What a waste of-β
βWhy donβt you stop talking to my fucking wife that way?β Satoru cuts her off, and her lips close. βThe only waste is you, here, waste of my fucking time.β
βGojo, surely you-β
βGet away from her, and donβt let me fucking see you or your shit husband anywhere near her,β she steps back. βGo.β
She scoffs and stomps off, leaving you alone with Satoru, when he holds your face gingerly, wincing as he sees her ring left a mark. βYou didnβt have to do any of that, Satoru.β
βI should have done more that night,β you go to disagree, but he cuts you off, kissing your lips, feeling you melt for him in a way you shouldnβt. Yet here you are, going weak in his hold. βI wonβt let them hurt you.β
You sniffle, dragging him down for a kiss, he stumbles over to the wall, pressing you against it, sliding a possessive hand over your waist, tongue slipping in, taking over your mouth. You just cry out, in a way that has him ready to ruin you right against this wall, uncaring of anyone β other than he didnβt want anyone to even see you like that.
He already had to share you with one person.
βFuck, forget this,β you say then, and he frowns, as you tug him by his tie, glaring at him. βI love you.β
He blinks then, words stuck in his throat. βForget it?β
βForget it,β you say again, he glares, kissing you and picking you up, until youβre in a bathroom, facing a mirror, him turning you so you can see him behind you. βSatoru weβ¦ canβt, weβ¦β
βForget it?β He says again, laughing darkly, kissing up your neck, wrapping an arm as he presses you against the marble counter. βYou want me to fucking forget that you just said that?β
βYes,β your eyes flutter shut, and Satoru bites your shoulder so hard it hurts. βAh! You dick!β
βDo you not mean it?β He asks, voice a breathy little moan. βOpen your eyes and fucking look at me.β
βI shouldnβt,β you do focus, then, your pretty eyes dark β pupils wide, as the words play over and over in his mind. βI shouldnβt say that.β
βYou shouldnβt love me,β his voice breaks before he can stop it, sliding your dress up achingly slowly, pressing against you, feeling you tremble. βYou know you shouldnβt.β
βShut up, Satoru,β you turn your face, still reddened from your mother. βYou act like I want to feel this way about you.β
βI know you donβt, sweetheart,β he says softly, hitching your thigh up over the counter, fingertips sliding along the slit of your panties, watching your head fall back against his chest. βYou hate that you do.β
βJust fuck me,β you whisper, gasping out as he tugs your panties aside, and youβre already dripping wet. βShut up and fuck me.β
Satoru eyes you levelly in the mirror instead, sinking two fingers inside your needy cunt, the one that is already gripping him, tacky walls so tight. βI canβt forget that. I wonβt.β
βYou have toβ¦β
βNo,β he sighs, inhaling your scent, his eyes catching yours in the mirror, moving his fingers inside you faster, watching you start to fall apart.
How could Satoru ever forget those words?
When he shouldnβt have ever gotten them? When heβs never gotten them in his entire life?
An βI love youβ from the one person who should hate him the most.
How can he forget, just fuck you, when he has to have youβ possess you, take you over, in a way thatβs insanity, in a way that has him whispering things he never fucking thought he would β your name, with a little laugh, over and over. He keeps repeating it softly, fingers plunging in and out of you β everything forgotten but this one singular moment.
Where he whispers those three words right back in your ear.
βIβll take my timeβ¦β He says, laughing again, moaning as he feels you gushing, tightening up. βSavor every moment of you that I get.β
summary: sukuna has loved you since you were in high school, and when he finally gets his chance with you, four years after graduation, he's the perfect boyfriend.
he treats you like you're worth more than the entire world, devoted solely to you, committed to keeping you healthy and happy in his arms for all eternity.
if only he wasn't killing people behind your back.
word count: 9.8k
content: 18+ mdni, smut, dub-con, dark content, rough sex, yandere sukuna, obsession, stalking, murder, blood, gore, manipulation, deception, unhealthy dynamics, jealousy, cheating (reader cheats on her bf with sukuna), sukuna is awful in this but he's good to reader exclusively, fic takes place in the early 2000s, horror, torture, abuse, trauma and ptsd, discussion of sexual assault, pregnancy, delusion
a/n: this chapter marks the start of the final act where things begin to unravel hehe
Your motherβs tone was strained as she peered across the table at your boyfriend. It was clear that she was at least trying her best to be polite, while your father could barely bring himself to look at the man.Β
It had been several weeks since the incident at Satoruβs cabin, and in that time the nature of your relationship with Sukuna had changed, and subsequently so had your relationship with your parents.Β
When youβd first arrived back in town after escaping Mahitoβs clutches, youβd gone straight to your parents to tell them what had happened and to ask for them to contact the Higurumas to help you through the legal process. If youβd been more mentally stable at the time perhaps you wouldβve gone to them alone, playing along with your fatherβs request to not bring Sukuna to the house.Β
But youβd been in no fit state to do anything alone, so Sukuna had tagged along that evening to support you, revealing himself to your mother for the first time as your boyfriend.Β
To say that first meeting had been rocky was something of an understatement.
Her judgement of the man was evident and only further heightened by your fatherβs obvious disapproval. If you hadnβt been in such a state of distress you were certain that both of them wouldβve outright voiced how disappointed they were in you. Perhaps they wouldβve even asked Sukuna to leave.
But neither of them spoke out actively against him that day - not when he was the only thing you seemed to be clinging to, desperate not to be parted from him for a second.Β
They could understand that he was your saviour - that you needed him, and even begrudgingly accepted it when you all but moved into his apartment in the weeks that followed, spending every night with him in the one place you felt safe and comfortable. It wasnβt like they were happy about it - you knew that, but they werenβt about to stand in the way of their traumatised daughter and her wants.Β
Sukuna was the one thing keeping you going, and your parents knew that.Β
Even if he was far from ideal in their minds.Β
Your mother, no matter her opinion on a person, had always been the type to try to keep things civil and polite, which was how you and Sukuna had ended up invited for dinner at your childhood home, in which your mother was trying her best to extend an olive branch and keep an open mind about your boyfriend.Β
It had already been an awkward affair, and you were desperate to leave, but Sukuna seemed unfettered, smiling politely at your motherβs largely condescending questions.Β
βNo, I didnβt go to college. My family wasn't very well off and even with scholarships it wouldβve been hard for me. I might go back to school in a few years once I have some savings, but it was always a better option for me to earn.β His arm came to wrap around your shoulders, pulling you closer to him in an act that no doubt had your father seething. βIβm set on finding a good career though. I want to be able to provide.βΒ
Your mother gave him a polite smile before diverting her attention back down to her plate, while your father rolled his eyes. It was clear that neither of them particularly liked the idea of him thinking long term about your relationship. In the few times sheβd caught you alone since finding out about Sukuna, your mother had not so subtly reminded you that Hiromi was still single and willing to date, pairing it with the suggestion that a change of scenery might be good for you.Β
So far youβd politely turned her down, but the whole thing was starting to grate on your nerves. Sukuna was who youβd chosen - heβd protected you through the worst of times and was continuing to care for you now, even when you were depressed and traumatised. There wasnβt anyone else you wanted - it was only him.Β
It had always been him and always would be.Β
βDo you think youβll be coming back to work soon, sweetheart?β Your dad asked, shifting his attention to you.Β
Since the incident youβd found it difficult to even get out of bed most days, your mind laden with thoughts of Mahito and what mightβve happened if Sukuna hadnβt arrived. And when you werenβt thinking about that, you were picturing Shokoβs lifeless body laid out on the floor. The idea of holding it together for a whole day of work seemed impossible.Β
Your father had been understanding enough to allow Sukuna to take a couple of weeks off after everything first went down, aware that he didnβt want you left alone in such a distraught state, but Sukuna had been back on site for weeks now, while you still moped around at home. Your phone and Sukunaβs gun were never far from your grip whenever you were alone, constantly on edge that youβd hear the rattling of a window or the slow unlatching of the door, leading you to another terrible fate.Β
βI- I donβt know.βΒ
Youβd been waiting to return back to your normal self, to bounce back to the way you were before. But you felt like a vital part of you had been stolen, never to be returned. It was so similar to how youβd felt after Ryuβs death, and yet so different too. With Ryu, it had been like getting carried away by a stream, constantly trying to get your head above rushing water to take a breath.Β
This felt more still - like you were drifting steadily to the bottom of a calm lake without the capability to kick back up to the surface. There was a numbness to the pain that settled within you through each passing day, like pieces of your heart were slowly being peeled away and cast aside. The piece that Sukuna held in his hands felt like the only one that was safe, protected by the one person who brought you comfort.Β
βIt's fine for me to look after her.β Sukuna cut in before your dad could respond. βShe doesnβt need to work.β
The man pressed his lips into a thin line, collecting himself before making any rash response to Sukunaβs words. Heβd hardly eaten any of his meal, clearly discomforted by the whole situation of having a dinner party with someone he didnβt approve of, someone who he knew had laid hands all over his daughter.Β
βShe should work. Sheβs more qualified than you are, it would be silly to let years of education go to waste.βΒ
βI donβt doubt her skill.β Sukuna bit back, βI simply care for her wellbeing. When she feels better she can decide what she wants to do, Iβll support her whether it brings us millions of dollars or makes us nothing.βΒ
βThatβs admirable, donβt you think, honey?β Your mother tried her best to disarm the tension, casting a glance at your father who seemed utterly unconvinced.Β
You kept quiet, uninterested in pushing your way into the conversation. Dinner hadnβt seemed like the best idea, even if you could see your motherβs intent. Your father would never accept Sukuna no matter how good a person he was to you - his low social standing already sealed that deal, making this whole meeting a waste of everyoneβs time.Β
It was better if you simply kept the two halves of your life apart. There was no point in causing strife or trying to convince your dad of anything when he was already deadset in his beliefs. He wanted you to marry someone wealthy like Hiromi, someone who could take care of you financially without working on a construction site.Β
Someone with soft, uncalloused hands.Β
Someone who would never think to cover themselves in tattoos.Β
Sukuna would never be that, so heβd never be accepted. If anything, his heroic act of saving you from Mahito had only further concreted him as someone unpleasant in your fatherβs eyes - the type of man who was strong and scrappy enough to kill another.Β
That his actions were in defence of you didnβt seem to matter.Β
And for that reason you were done trying to argue.Β
Youβd only agreed to the dinner invitation because Sukuna had urged you to, emphasising the importance in him building a relationship with your family if you were going to be together. But ultimately, he was on his own on that front, because you could see no way in which dinner would end with anything but more animosity between both parties.Β
So youβd let them talk things out, excusing yourself to the bathroom to free yourself of conversation you had no interest in hearing.Β
Well, that and because youβd been beset with the sudden urge to vomit.Β
For the last few days your stomach had been odd. Youβd been waking up each morning feeling nauseous, leaving you sprinting to the toilet and throwing up until your stomach was emptied of its bile. Throughout the day the dizziness would decrease, but you found yourself disinterested in most foods, that wave of sickness passing through you at the hint of various scents.Β
At first youβd convinced yourself it was a bug, but as youβd excused yourself from the table, suddenly nauseous after lifting a piece of broccoli to your mouth, you began to wonder if that was all it was.Β
Youβd stood there, in your parents downstairs toilet, peering at yourself in the mirror. The sound of Sukuna making strained conversation echoed through the wooden door and you paid it little mind, letting words drift into mere noise while you studied your reflection. It was hard to recognise the person staring back at you, with your sunken eyes and chapped lips serving as a constant reminder of the difficult few weeks youβd had.Β
But those werenβt the changes you were focussed on.Β
Prodding at your cheeks, you became certain that you were putting on weight, your face a little rounder than you were used to it being. In addition, acne had begun to spring up across your forehead and chin, symptoms that were usually only present when you were on your period.Β
Now that you were considering it, you couldnβt remember the last time youβd been on your period.Β
It hadnβt been cause for concern, because the contraceptive pill had occasionally caused inconsistency with your cycle, meaning a missed period or spotting wasnβt unusual. That paired with how much stress youβd been under, it came as no surprise that you hadnβt been bleeding as usual.Β
That combined with the nausea though? And the subtle changes to your face? That was a concern.Β
You hadnβt realised how long youβd been in there pondering the facts until there was a quiet knock on the door.Β
βIs everything okay honey?β Your mother called out.
βYeah, all good.βΒ
βCan I come in?βΒ
Swallowing, you dried tears that had appeared on your face, not quite sure when youβd started crying. You pulled open the door and let her step in. If she noticed the redness of your cheeks she said nothing, simply pulling the door shut behind her to get some privacy.Β
βYouβve been in here a while,β she commented. You turned back to the mirror, watching her through the reflection as she sat down on the edge of the bath, eyes meeting yours. βAre you sure youβre okay? Weβre not upsetting you are we? I know dad can be difficult.βΒ
Shrugging, you shook your head. βIt's what I expected. It's fine.β It wasnβt fine, you loved Sukuna and you wanted others to see what you could see - you hated that a dinner with your parents felt like torture all because you dad didnβt approve, but asking him to change his ways would be like asking the sun to stop shining, so there was no point in lamenting.Β
βIt's not fine. Iβll speak to him. I know we were both shocked when you brought Sukuna here, but if he makes you happy Iβll do nothing to chase him away.βΒ
βYou donβt like him though, do you?β You asked, staring at her bitterly through the mirror. Your hand had subconsciously moved up to your stomach, and a fresh wave of nausea forced its way through you, leaving you swaying on your feet.Β
βIβ¦β She hesitated. βI was surprised, but I donβt know him well enough to dislike him.β It was a diplomatic answer, and you did all you could to avoid rolling your eyes. βBut what I think doesnβt matter. Do you like him, sweetheart? Do you think heβs good for you?βΒ
βYes.βΒ
That was the easiest answer youβd ever given.
βThen thatβs all that matters to me, and it's all that should matter to you dad,β she said. βI just donβt want you to drift away from us because of this. It would break my heart for you to go off and have children with him only for us to never see them because we canβt play nice. If that boy treats you well, then your dad will just have to accept it.βΒ
You nodded, only half listening. What she was saying was nice, you appreciated the sentiment, finding it pleasant to have someone on your side for once. However, you were too focused on the shifting feeling in your stomach to be truly grateful for what she was saying. You just wanted to be left alone, uninterested in having a conversation about your current state with your mother.Β
A basic acceptance of Sukuna being in your life was probably already a big enough adjustment for her.Β
Adding a potential pregnancy into the mix could ruin everything.Β
Especially when you had no idea how you were meant to feel about it.Β
βAnyway,β she continued at your silence. βIβll leave you be - I donβt want to abandon Sukuna to your father for too long. Donβt hide away all night, I think it's better if your dad sees the two of you together looking all happy - itβll soften him up.β
You offered her a smile as she placed a gentle hand on your shoulder before heading back to the dinner table, the quiet sound of conversation continuing while you remained still, hands grasping the edge of the basin, wondering if the small portion of food youβd eaten was going to rise up from your stomach.Β
There was no point in panicking until you were certain of what you suspected, and for now you almost wanted to bury your head in the sand. Even though you loved Sukuna, this didnβt feel like the right time for this - you were still picking through so much trauma and you couldnβt imagine doing that with a baby at your hip.Β
Besides, you werenβt particularly certain how Sukuna would take the news.Β
Heβd always been open about wanting children with you one day, but you assumed that was a statement for the future, once the two of you were in a better position. There was no space in Sukunaβs apartment to raise a child - youβd have to drastically change both of your lives if you were going to make space for an extra addition.Β
Panic swelled within you, and you braced yourself harder against the sink, your head spinning.Β
It wasnβt something you had the time or space to consider. You had too much on your mind to really think about it. For all you knew, you could be getting ahead of yourself - what if you were just ill? What if everything was a coincidence? Worrying before taking a pregnancy test was foolish.Β
Youβd wait until Sukuna was at work and buy one at the drug store, and until then youβd give it no further thought.Β
β
On the way to the drug store the following day, you ran into Yuki. It was a chance meeting - she was stepping out of the coffee shop next door, brown eyes widening as they met yours. Conversation between the two of you had been limited, mainly on your part. You could find little energy to spend time with anyone who wasnβt Sukuna, and seeing Yuki had unpleasant memories rushing through your mind.Β
That same feeling seemed to present itself in her, as she winced at the sight of you, quickly attempting to replace the expression with an uneasy smile.Β
She looked similar to you - her eyes were sunken and exhausted, and sheβd lost some weight since youβd last seen her. She was usually a muscular girl, the epitome of health, and to see her looking so skinny made your heart sink.Β
βHey. Long time no see,β she said. Her tone was lacking any enthusiasm, but you knew not to take it personally. If her last few weeks had been anything like yours, she simply didnβt have the energy to spare.Β
βHey,β you responded bashfully. βSorry Iβve been bad at replying to your textsβ¦β
βDonβt sweat it. I get it.β She chewed on her lower lip, swaying awkwardly on her feet. βDo you wanna come to my place? I could really do with talking to you.β The reluctance in your eyes mustβve been evident, because she was quick to continue speaking. βNothing sinister. I just miss you.βΒ
Glancing at the drug store, you nodded. βSure, I just need to grab something first if thatβs okay?β
βYeah of course.βΒ
Much to your dismay, she followed you as you stepped into the store. Youβd assumed sheβd wait for you outside, but you shouldβve known that luck never tended to favour you in such a manner. Agonising in your head, you wondered if you should buy something other than a pregnancy test to avoid any questions from Yuki, but in the end you decided that would be embarrassingly cowardly.Β
Both of you were adults. If you needed a pregnancy test, you needed a pregnancy test. There was no scandal to be had.Β
You picked one up from the shelves casually, casting a sideways glance at your friend as you did so. Something akin to disappointment flickered in her eyes for a moment, but she managed to conceal it well. She offered no words of judgement, trailing behind you as you went to pay, and failing to mention it on the short walk back to her place.Β
It had been a long time since you were last at her house, but it felt comforting to be there all the same. Yuki had always had a great eye for decor, and her living room was filled with tasteful colours and low lighting which gave it a lovely cozy feeling. It was sweet to see Chosoβs things scattered with Yukiβs across the room, making it clear that the space belonged to the both of them.Β
Soon, youβd have to speak to Sukuna about moving into his place properly - or perhaps having the two of you move into a new place entirely. It would be nice to have something that belonged to the two of you, rather than feeling like you were intruding on a space that belonged only to him. You wanted more than a single drawer in his home.Β
βCan I get you anything? Water? Green tea?β She asked, as you settled down on one of the sofas, sinking back against the pillow.
βIβm okay.β You still werenβt over your wave of sickness that morning, and didnβt want to consume anything that would make it worse. Yuki nodded, and sat down across from you, an awkwardness settling over the room as the two of you sat there in silence.Β
After weeks apart, you werenβt clear on what to say to Yuki. You didnβt know if you should discuss what had happened at Satoruβs lakehouse, or if you should ask about the trauma that followed. Both matters were touchy subjects of discussion. But equally, it felt hard to discuss anything else. Sukuna was off the table, and so was Shoko. It felt like youβd have to dance around so many topics that it was easier not to speak at all.Β
While considering your next words, you found yourself remembering that youβd been invited to Yukiβs house, leaving the burden of conversation on her shoulders not yours. That had you relaxing a little, watching your friend struggle with the same conflict in her own mind.Β
She took a long sip of coffee before speaking, as if steeling herself for what she was about to say. βIβm sorry, for what I did back at Satoruβs place. I shouldnβt have- sorry.βΒ
You tilted your head, struggling to compute what she was saying. In your mind she had nothing to apologise for - youβd all been in a terrifying situation brought on by a couple of psychopaths. Unless sheβd outright invited them into the house, there was no apology needed.
But the deep guilt in her eyes was stark, like it had been eating away at her for a long time.Β
βI know youβre mad at me. I think you hate me, donβt you? Thatβs why youβve been avoiding me. I get it, I picked you to be hurt by Mahito, I probably deserve to be hated.β
Your memory of that evening was largely spotty, and youβd blocked out much of what had happened to you. At Yukiβs words, the memory of Mahito forcing her to inflict injury onto you or Shoko came rushing back to you. It wasnβt something youβd held against her - she didnβt truly have a choice in the matter. If she hadnβt chosen a name Mahito wouldβve killed you all.Β
What else was she meant to do but pick you? Especially with Shoko in the state sheβd been in.Β
βIβm not mad at you, Yuki. You didnβt do anything wrong,β you said softly. βI havenβt been avoiding you either, I just havenβt had energy for anyone but Sukuna. I can barely drag myself from bed in the morning.β
βRight,β she mumbled, clutching her coffee cup a little harder. βBut I deserve hatred. I watched him cut you up and did nothing. Shoko was more of a saviour to you than I was - all I could do was cry and watch it happen.βΒ
βAnd youβre alive. So that was probably the right thing to do.β Shokoβs actions had been foolish. Youβd had no way of knowing it at the time, but if sheβd just held on a little longer perhaps sheβd still be alive. The boys couldβve rescued all three of you.Β
Yuki nodded, brows furrowing as tears pricked at her eyes. You were only just noticing how bloodshot they were, like sheβd been crying so regularly that the white was permanently tinged with red.Β
It was sad to see someone like her reduced to tears.Β
βShoko. Oh god,β she sniffled. βI canβt stop seeing her when I close my eyes. I was angry at her when she died, so fucking angry over the fact sheβd slept with Choso all those years ago. What kind of a wicked person am I to have felt that way about her in her final moments? It was such an unimportant thing and I was seething at her just before her heart stopped. Iβm so fucking selfish.βΒ
You rose to your feet, crossing the gap between the two of you and taking a seat at her side. Your arm looped around her shoulder, and you pulled her close to you as she cried, struggling to hear her ramblings while she wept into your shirt. It was a dynamic youβd never experienced before, unaccustomed to comforting Yuki, but you did your best all the same.Β
βStop, Yuki. Thereβs no point in guilt. Sheβs gone and thereβs nothing we couldβve done - we were both just trying to live.βΒ
She said nothing, and you let her cry for a while longer, stroking your hand through her long blonde hair. It felt like it had been a long time since the two of you had sat together in any amount of harmony for more than five minutes. Ever since Sukuna had come into your life things had been tense and uncomfortable - for once you felt like the two of you were on common ground, just like you had been throughout your teenage years.Β
Even if this particular common ground was something you wished you didnβt have to share.Β
Slowly, Yuki drew back from you, drying her tears with her sleeve. She took a deep breath as she stared over at you, cogs working away in her brain, like she had much more to divulge but she wasnβt quite sure how to approach the topic.Β
βDid he rape you? Mahito?β She asked, abandoning any tact and coming straight out with the question. Your heart picked up in fear at the mere mention of the word, unwilling to consider how close youβd actually come to that fate.Β
βNo. Sukuna found me first.βΒ
She let out a laugh which sounded almost bitter, dropping her voice as she spoke. βRight, of course he did.β Before you could question what she meant by that, she was speaking once more. βI was raped, did you know that? Did your boyfriend tell you that?βΒ
Reeling, you shuffled back from her a little, caught off guard by her fresh burst of spiteful energy. Her statement had come so suddenly that you were struggling to get your head around it, your mind still on her guilt and sorrow for Shoko, struggling to understand how anything had to do with Sukuna.Β
βWhat?β You stumbled over the word. βI d-didnβt know. Oh Yuki-βΒ
βStop. It happened, thereβs nothing to be done about that. Iβm glad it didnβt happen to you, but were you aware that it didnβt need to happen to me either?βΒ
Still struggling to follow, you tilted your head in question. βO-of course it didnβt need to happen. Those guys were awful, they should have never-βΒ
She sighed, cutting you off. βOf course you donβt know. Why would he have told you? It would ruin his image, wouldnβt it?βΒ
βWhat?β You asked, dumbfounded and eager for Yuki to just get to the point already. Your head was starting to spin and you didnβt want to focus too hard on anything. If she wanted you to reach a conclusion on your own she'd have to accept that you were in no physical condition to do so at that moment.Β
βSukuna saw me. He saw me in a room with that man, skulked about in the hallway watching while Jogo hit me, while he climbed on top of me. He couldβve stopped it, couldβve burst in and helped but he didnβt. He disappeared off to look for you and left me to my fate. It was five minutes until Choso found me, five minutes that Iβll never forget.βΒ
Conflict warred in your heart, leaving you uncertain on how to react. Sukuna had told you Yuki was safe - heβd lied. To leave someone to their fate at the hands of a psychopath was despicable behaviour, and exactly the type of thing that Yuki warned you about when it came to him.Β
But at the same time you couldnβt help but believe heβd lied for a good reason. His first priority had always been you, and if heβd felt that intervening with Yukiβs situation would leave you to a dire fate, it didnβt surprise you to hear heβd make a harsh decision.Β
It didnβt make you feel okay about it, but you could understand his thinking. The couple of minutes heβd have taken to save Yuki mightβve been minutes in which youβd be raped or killed, and he was unwilling to risk that.Β
Heβd made a hard decision out of love for you. Heβd known Choso was coming for Yuki, but no one else was coming for you except him.Β
Besides, a nasty part of you questioned Yukiβs statement regardless. It had been a stressful night for all involved, and who was to say that she truly saw what she thought she saw. For this to be the first time sheβd mentioned it felt odd, and sheβd admitted to wanting to sabotage your relationship once already. You were deeply sorry for what had happened to her, but you couldnβt understand why Sukuna needed to take the blame.
The person deserving of blame was rotting in a prison cell. There was no more to be discussed.Β
Your thought process mustβve reflected into your eyes, because Yukiβs face contorted into an expression of sheer horror. βOh my god, you donβt believe me. Why the fuck would I lie? He looked at me and walked away. Your sweet boyfriend left me to be raped.β
βYuki, Iβm sorry. Iβm really sorry that happened to you. But Iβm not going to disparage Sukuna without at least talking to him first. We were all in a stressful situation and everyone made mistakes - you yourself said you made mistakes - it's not fair to assume something that hasnβt even been discussed.βΒ
She shook her head. βYouβre unbelievable. What will it take to convince you that heβs rotten?βΒ
You scoffed. ββTo convince meβ,β you echoed flatly, βand you wonder why I didnβt instantly believe you. All you ever do is try to drive a wedge between us. If Sukuna had stepped in and saved you - if Iβd been raped because of that, you wouldβve used that as an excuse to prove he was rotten.βΒ
Yuki parted her lips to protest, but the words died on her tongue. She knew that to be true - no matter the situation she would always use it as an opportunity to twist it around on him. She knew it.Β
βPlease, Yuki, Iβll speak to him about it. I feel terrible about what happened to you but you have to stop attacking my boyfriend at every turn. I already lost Shoko, I donβt want to lose you too.βΒ
She shook her head, shoulders dropping in defeat, a look of sheer disbelief marring her face. βGod, he really has you wrapped around his finger, doesnβt he? It's embarrassing. I feel like Iβm watching you get chipped away and I canβt stop it no matter what I do.β
βPerhaps you couldβve tried being kind to me,β you said, voice trembling a little. βFor the last few months youβve done nothing but treat me like Iβm stupid, so Iβm sorry if I seem difficult, or distant. I donβt want to fight with you, I havenβt even said that I donβt believe you, but you only ever see what you want.βΒ
Yuki bit her lip, shaking her head. βIβm sorry for that. I just couldnβt see another way, and now it's too late, isnβt it? His claws are in you. I suppose his kid is too, huh?β She asked, gesturing to your bag, where a pregnancy test sat within.Β
You said nothing, tears prickling at your eyes. You didnβt want to deal with any of this, you simply wanted to go home and curl up in a cocoon and forget everything youβd heard from Yuki that morning. You wanted Sukuna to wrap himself around you and play with your hair, and you wanted to stay there for all of time, until everything disappeared but you and him.Β
βAre you just gonna keep it?β She asked quietly, the plea in her tone not going amiss.
βI donβt know,β you answered coolly, getting to your feet and pulling your bag over your shoulder. Youβd gain nothing from staying there longer beyond Yuki taking more shots at your lover, and it would do little to sway your opinion. Youβd speak to him about it once he was home later that evening.Β
But you knew it would change little.Β
If Yuki and Sukuna were the only witnesses to the situation, they would exchange barbs and differing views until the end of time.Β
And ultimately youβd have to side with the person you were in love with.Β
Heading towards the door, you paused at the threshold, casting a look back at your friend. She was staring at you, sadness and anger blending together in her chestnut eyes.
βFor the record, Yuki, if the situation was reversed and Choso saw me in peril and walked away knowing that you werenβt safe either and wanted to get to you first, I would forgive him. People prioritise those they love, and you can call that fucked up all you want, but its human nature. I mean, you chose me for Mahito to cut open. Weβre all ugly in an ugly situation.βΒ
You didnβt let her speak again, slamming the door behind you and exiting onto the street beyond.Β
β
The rest of your day had been spent obsessively cleaning Sukunaβs apartment. It was an activity that was long overdue, because things had been piling up over the past few weeks with you in a lethargic state. It would be nice for Sukuna to come home to a clean place, as a thank you for looking after you so well while youβd been incapable of anything.Β
Besides, cleaning was an activity that allowed you to take your mind off things.Β
Between the unpleasantness of the conversation youβd had with Yuki, and the positive pregnancy test sitting in the bathroom trash, you could really do with letting your mind go blank at least until Sukuna came home.Β
Once he was there to share your problems and concerns with, things would be better. Issues always seemed smaller when voiced, and Sukuna always knew the right thing to say or do. Spending the afternoon laying in bed fretting would do you no good.Β
Starting in the kitchen, youβd been thorough in working your way through Sukunaβs apartment - scrubbing the floors, dusting the bookshelves, wiping the insides of the windows. By the time you made it into the bathroom, your final obstacle for the day, it was growing dark outside.
Sukuna had said heβd be back late that evening. It was the birthday of one of the guys on the construction crew, and heβd been invited out for drinks after work. You were certain it wouldnβt be long until he made it home, never eager on spending too much time with his coworkers, so you picked up your pace as you set to making the bathroom sparkle.Β
It had been easy, mindless work much like everything else that afternoon until you ran a mop across the floor and knocked a tile loose.Β
Initially, youβd thought nothing of it, putting the mop aside for a moment and moving to put the tile back in its place below the sink. Your hand faltered at the realisation that there was a hollowed out space beneath the misplaced tile, with a small plastic bag hidden within.Β
If you were wise, perhaps you wouldβve left it alone. Maybe you wouldβve assumed that it had been left there by a previous occupant of the apartment, or maybe by the tilers who had originally fitted the bathroom. But curiosity got the better of you, and you found yourself reaching into the hole and withdrawing the plastic bag from its position.Β
What you held was a neatly packed thing, containing a mobile phone, car keys and a wallet. None of the items looked recognisable to you - Sukunaβs phone was black and, as of recently, had a Hello Kitty charm youβd given him dangling from it, meanwhile this phone was silver and bare. Not to mention, the blue wallet looked nothing like Sukunaβs usual leather one.Β
You werenβt sure what you were expecting as you pulled the items from their bag, wondering if Sukuna even knew of their existence. Perhaps some criminal had lived here before him and had stowed away a spare phone and ID to use for illegal dealings. You placed the phone and keys on the counter, turning your attention immediately to the wallet.Β
For some reason it felt familiar to you, with the insignia of some heavy metal band printed across the front.
There was no time for you to ponder on where youβd seen it before - no need for you to connect the dots on your own, not when your fingers were already prying open the wallet, gaze falling upon a gut-wrenchingly familiar face staring at you from the ID hidden within.
Hajime Kashimo.Β
All the air in your lungs disappeared, and you found yourself frozen. No thoughts came to your mind, all you could do was stare blankly at the item in your hand, unwilling to draw any conclusions about what its presence in your boyfriendβs floor meant. Slowly, your eyes moved to the phone, suddenly realising how familiar it was to you - as was the lightning bolt keychain hanging from the set of keys.Β
Why would anything of Kashimoβs be in Sukunaβs apartment?Β
They hadnβt known each other.Β
Your body moved on its own, reaching for the phone and flipping it open, dismayed to find that it was dead, offering no further explanation as to what was going on. Slowly you put it down, sinking to your knees, gaze still fixed on that image of Kashimo staring up at you.Β
There had to be an explanation for this - some reason for Sukuna to possess these items, something that would make everything make sense. There had to be. And yet, there was some part of you that told you to exert caution, to think lucidly about what youβd just found, to consider the facts of the last time youβd seen Kashimo.Β
Satoru had told you about the manβs infidelity, and Sukuna had comforted you afterwards. Youβd largely considered that moment to be the catalyst for your relationship to bloom. Kashimo had been normal with you for the rest of the reunion, only showing his true colours via text after heβd left.Β
From a phone that was now in possession of your boyfriend.Β
Since then, you had heard nothing from Kashimo, aware only of a snippet of a rumor from a university acquaintance that he had moved out of the city and left his band in the lurch. Gone off to Hollywood, apparently, not unlike Yorozu.Β
Anxiety pushed its way into your chest as your brain connected the last few dots. Sukuna had seemed so comfortable in his execution of Mahito, so controlled in the way he guided your hand, like heβd done it many times before.Β
Maybe he had done it before.Β
Perhaps heβd framed Kashimo of something despicable and disposed of him before you could ever verify the truth.Β
No, no, no.Β
You wouldnβt believe it. You couldnβt. Sukuna had been nothing but loving towards you, always looking out for your best interests, offering you comfort and protection in your darkest times. He couldnβt have killed him, or if he did there wouldβve been a good reason for it.Β
That you were certain of.Β
Earlier that day youβd told Yuki that you wouldnβt condemn Sukuna without hearing him out first, and in that moment you were jumping to all kinds of conclusions. There was an explanation - of course there was an explanation, you just needed to ask for it.Β
Trying to contain the tremor in your hands, you packed the items back into the bag and returned them to their position, sliding the tile back to where it had been before. Letting out a shuddering breath, you tried your best to calm yourself at the click of the front door, your heart rate spiking at the sound of Sukunaβs voice calling out for you.Β
It was okay. There would be a reasonable explanation for everything. You didnβt need to act strange with the man you loved and you certainly didnβt need to be fearful of him.Β
You knew that.
Stepping out of the bathroom, you put on a gentle smile of greeting, your worries easing ever so slightly beneath his crimson gaze. He stared at you with such love and reverence, his expression holding a softness which pushed your anxieties straight to the back of your head.Β
βRough day, baby?β He asked, crossing the gap between you. A hand came up to stroke your face before pulling you close, pressing his lips against yours in a passionate kiss. The contact had your gut tightening with pleasure, and you wondered how you could ever doubt someone you adored so much.Β
There was an explanation. There had to be an explanation.
A mix of nausea and exhaustion washed over you at the thought of confronting him about it that evening. Between your talk with Yuki and the knowledge that a child was growing within you, you were limited on mental bandwidth, and couldnβt face another shock that evening.Β
You wanted to get your thoughts in order first about everything - the kid, Yukiβs claim, Kashimoβs belongings - wanted to pretend that everything was okay for the evening before you did anything rash.Β
All your questions would still be there in the morning, and maybe answers would be more obvious in the light of day. You couldnβt deny that you were exhausted, not thinking straight in the way that usually would. You just needed time to think. Perhaps the next day youβd awaken and realise your findings had been nothing more than a nightmare. Youβd had no shortage of those after all.
βJust tired,β you lied as you pulled back from his kiss. The words came out shaky, and Sukunaβs eyes narrowed. He knew you well enough to sniff out a lie with little effort.Β
βDid something happen?β He asked, his voice dropping low. βYou look like youβve been crying.β You werenβt really aware that you had been. A few tears had dripped down your cheeks at the sight of the positive pregnancy test, still unsure what to think of the outcome, but that was hours ago. You supposed the day had worn on your face more than youβd realised.Β
βNo, just struggling with the usual stuff,β you confessed.Β
βRight.β His thumb brushed your face tenderly, red eyes darting around the room. βYou cleaned up.β It was embarrassing to admit how deeply you read into that observation, scanning for any hint of concern in his voice, but you found none. On the contrary, he seemed pleased with you.Β
βI just thought it would be nice.βΒ
βThank you, baby.β He planted a kiss on top of your head, giving you a tight squeeze. You were reminded just how strong he was, suddenly aware of how impossible it would be to overpower him if he ever decided to use that strength against you. A shiver passed through you at the thought.Β
It didnβt matter. Because there was an explanation for everything. Heβd never hurt you. Never.
βWhat do you want for dinner? We can order from that pizza place you like? Watch an episode of The Sopranos?β He pulled back to look at you, the charming smile you loved so much plastered on his handsome face.
You wanted to say yes, but the thought of sitting with him quietly while all your thoughts were swirling around in your head was far from ideal. You needed to go to sleep, fearful that prolonged time at his side would give away what you knew and put you in a position of having to deal with things before you were ready.Β
Besides, the idea of watching Tony Soprano kill so ruthlessly on screen while you grappled with the question of whether your boyfriend had done the same didnβt sound like your idea of a good time.Β
βI think Iβm just gonna go to bed. Iβve got a really bad headache and I donβt want to make it any worse.β Sukunaβs face fell, and your own chest ached at the disappointment in his eyes. Heβd been waiting all day to come home and spend time with you - heβd confessed that was what kept him going at work.Β
Just like heβd been your shining light through all the trauma, you were his shining light too - the one thing that really mattered to him. And here you were pushing him away over something you were certain could be explained.Β
That wasnβt fair.Β
But for some reason, you couldnβt bring yourself to ask him about it either to clear the confusion up, hairs standing on the back of your neck when you considered broaching the topic.Β
It was just a result of your exhaustion. That was all.Β
βOkay, baby. Have you taken anything for the pain?.β His hand brushed soothingly against your forehead, and guilt knotted itself together in your stomach. How could you believe this man guilty of any wrongdoing when he was always so tender to you?Β
Did it even matter if he was guilty? He was all you really had, the singular thing keeping you sane after everything that had happened. It was likely your overactive imagination jumping to conclusions anyway, that was the issue here, not Sukuna. Not the man who loved you so much heβd do absolutely anything for your sake.Β
βI havenβt.βΒ
βIβll get you some painkillers, you go and lie down.β Another dizzy spell overcame you as you made your way to the bedroom, leaning heavily against the doorframe as all the thoughts of the day rushed at you. You didnβt want to be at odds with Sukuna over anything. You wanted to curl up against his side and drift off knowing you were safe.Β
Because you were safe with him. Heβd saved you from Mahito. And now your brain was trying to convince you that something was wrong? You were always sabotaging yourself - how could you be sure that Kashimoβs belongings had even been under those floorboards? You hadnβt exactly been able to trust your mind lately.Β
What if youβd hallucinated up an issue? What then?Β
The pregnancy had come as a massive shock to you, perhaps your brain was trying to come up with excuses as to why it wouldnβt work.Β
Somewhere within you, there was an awareness that line of thinking was delusional. Likewise, there was an awareness that there was no mistake in the meaning behind Sukuna owning things that had belonged to Kashimo. You knew, somewhere in the distant recesses of your mind, that Kashimo was dead.Β
That Sukuna had done it.Β
And with that flickered a question about what else he had done, a thought promptly swept away by the currents of your mind before you could cling to it. Because acceptance didnβt come easy, not when you loved the person responsible.Β
You couldnβt let yourself believe it, forcing a smile and accepting your own poor mental state as an explanation for what youβd seen.Β
Sukuna stepped into the bedroom, painkillers in hand along with a glass of water which he handed over to you. There was something odd in his expression, like he had a question to ask you. Slowly he sat down on the bed, reaching out for your hand and holding it tightly within his.Β
βHave you got something to tell me?βΒ
For all the delusion youβd fed yourself, your blood still ran cold. Had you put the tile back incorrectly? Did he know what you knew? Sweat gathered on your brow, tongue frozen in your mouth when you tried to speak, unsure how to best formulate a question or an explanation.Β
He wouldnβt hurt you, would he? No, you doubted it. He was too possessive of you.Β
Before you could put any words together, he spoke once more. βI saw the test in the trash.βΒ
Oh. Youβd been so frazzled upon knocking the tile aside that you hadnβt finished your full clean of the bathroom, and had forgotten to empty the wastebin, leaving your positive test there for anyone to see. You hadnβt formulated a plan on how you were going to share the news with him, but you hadnβt wanted him to find out like this.
Before you could stop them, tears sprung to your eyes, all the emotion of the day overwhelming you. There was too much going on for you to process it. With the Kashimo discovery and Yukiβs harsh words youβd had no time to think about your opinion on the pregnancy, and now you were being directly confronted on it.Β
Why couldnβt you just catch a break for once?
Sukunaβs eyes widened in panic, and he was quick to wrap his arms around you, pulling you against his chest. βHey, donβt cry. It's okay baby, come here.βΒ
It wasnβt okay, nothing was okay.
But you leant into his embrace all the same, wetting his hoodie with your tears in a display which had become all too common between the two of you. He didnβt push you for anything more, expecting no explanation, simply stroking your hair affectionately. You could feel his heart thudding excitedly beneath his ribs and once again a strange guilt prickled at you.
βDo youβ¦β He trailed off. βDo you not want this? The baby?βΒ
A pang of hurt went straight through your heart at the dejected nature of his tone. It was clear that he was thrilled, that seeing the test lying in the trash had been something positive for him.Β
And there you were moping and doubting.Β
βI donβt know,β you said honestly. βI feel like Iβm just being overwhelmed lately. I donβt have time to even consider what I really think about the baby.β You pulled back from him slightly, letting him dab your tears with his fingers.
βWhat else is on your mind? Maybe I can help?βΒ
βNothing.β The statement came out too quickly, and in a higher pitch than you wouldβve liked. Sukuna seemed suspicious of the response for a moment, before letting it go with a sigh. Youβd been fairly odd lately anyway, and considering what heβd just discovered, who could blame you for being a bit off? βIβm just- I donβt know, depressed from everything.βΒ
He nodded, biting on his lower lip. βWell, it's not like you have to make a decision now, you canβt be far along. If you donβt want it weβll deal with that.β There was a sadness in his voice that told you that wasnβt what he wanted to do, and pity began to gnaw away at your stomach. βTo be clear, Iβd like you to keep it, but it's your choice baby. I know how hard these months have been. Iβll love you no matter what.βΒ
A soft kiss was pressed into your hair, sending a flush across your cheeks. Of course heβd love you no matter what, heβd made that clear on more than one occasion. Could you love him no matter what? If your suspicions about Kashimo bore fruit? If Yukiβs claim was true?Β
How would you implode if you walked away from him? What would you have then, in a life where youβd steadily been falling apart at the seams with nothing but him to hold you together?Β
The anxiety built up within you again, and despite wanting to lay the matter to rest for a while, you simply couldnβt. You had to ask him.Β
βSukuna.βΒ
βYeah?βΒ
βWould you kill for me?βΒ
βYeah.β He said it without hesitation. There was no dramatic flair to his response, nothing to suggest that what he said was false bravado like most boyfriends might display to their partners. It was a simple confirmation, one that you knew to be true as his red eyes met yours. βYou know I would. Youβve seen it.βΒ
He was right. Even if your hand had been on the trigger that evening with Mahito, it had been Sukuna who was in control - his hand caressing your carefully, guiding you into an action you never wouldβve managed on your own.Β
It wasnβt a first kill. You shouldβve been more aware of that the moment it happened. Sukuna had been painfully calm.Β
βRight,β your voice went quiet.
Sukunaβs fingers came to graze your chin, holding you to meet his gaze properly. There was no hate or anger in those red eyes - you never encountered anything but love there, a love that made your stomach flip with desire whenever you saw it, a love that you weren't sure could be displaced by anything even if you wanted it to be.Β
βWhy do you ask, baby?β His nose brushed against yours, and again you found yourself tongue-tied beneath the intensity of your presence. You knew you should've come out and said what you saw, but fear stopped you. Because the moment those words spilt from your mouth, everything was going to change, you knew that.
And you werenβt sure it was a change you wanted.Β
βI- um- I donβt know. Just wondering.β You squeaked, cursing yourself as you backed down.
There was something amused in his expression, watching you carefully, not unlike a cat observing a mouse caught beneath its paws. βIβd kill anyone who caused you harm, anyone who tried to steal away your happiness. I killed Mahito to protect you, and Iβd do it again. Youβre the only person who matters to me. Is that a problem?β
It was a problem, but his words tugged on your heartstrings all the same. There was something romantic about a man who would do anything for you. If you hadn't been with a man like Sukuna, who knows where youβd be. Perhaps your brains wouldβve been splattered across the floor at Mahitoβs feet.Β
βI donβt know,β you said. βI donβt know if it's a problem. It depends.βΒ
βOn?βΒ
βHow far you would go.β Sukunaβs eyes glimmered with interest. He brought his lips to your neck, kissing away at the exposed skin, almost as if he was testing whether youβd push him away. You didnβt, you werenβt sure that you could, your heart fluttering desperately beneath his touch, telling you to forget the conversation and move on.Β
You were having such a good time, why open a can of worms when things had been fine?Β
βI would go as far as necessary to keep you safe. Thatβs all,β he murmured against your skin. βNow, is there something specific you want to ask? Or is this nothing more than a thought experiment?βΒ
Again you tried to build your courage, but found you had none to give. In your frazzled condition you werenβt certain you were capable of providing objectivity on anything. You needed to regroup - to think carefully about what Sukuna had said and re-examine the evidence youβd found. You needed to look at Kashimo's phone. You needed to consider whether Sukunaβs presence at your side trumped morality.Β
After all, you were a killer too. What if Sukuna had his reasons for the situation with Kashimo, like youβd had your reasons with Mahito? There was always an angle to consider, and in the midst of a panic on the day youβd found out you were pregnant, was neither the time nor the place.Β
βIt was just a thought,β you spoke softly, leaning into the fluttering kisses spreading down against your shoulder, his fingers pushing your shirt down to give him better access to his soft skin, sucking marks on top of the purple bruises that already existed there.Β
He hummed, but you werenβt confident he believed you, a shock of something strange in his deep red eyes. βOf course, baby.β His hands slid beneath your shirt, sliding up the bare skin of your sides, earning a shiver from you. His touch was still as pleasant as ever, still something you yearned desperately for.Β
And despite him being the cause of much of your anxiety that evening, he also seemed like the only solution - the one person who could allay all your worries with his mere presence, touching you with an affection that you could receive from nobody but him. The very reason that you would jump to no conclusions or decisions.Β
You loved him.Β
You needed him.Β
It was as simple as that.Β
βWant me to leave you alone for a bit?β He whispered huskily against your ear. βYou said you wanted to sleep.β
It probably wouldβve been best for you to agree - to nod along and leave him to have his dinner alone while you drifted off beneath his soft sheets. But you couldnβt bring yourself to send him away any more than you could bring yourself to condemn him for evidence that lay plain before your eyes.Β
βI want you here, if thatβs okay?βΒ
The look on his face could only be described as pure euphoria, like youβd just handed him an award you werenβt aware you were giving out. He was always thrilled to be with you, but this was something else, like a balance of power had just shifted and you werenβt sharp enough to understand how.Β
βOf course. Iβd do anything for you, baby.βΒ
That night, you spent hours tangled in his sheets just as usual. His fingers intertwined with yours, keeping you pinned beneath him, his lips set to work on every inch of your tired body while he filled you up over and over again with long, intimate strokes. This was Sukuna at his very sweetest, making love to you in a manner that proved his devotion.Β
There was no roughness about it, nothing kinky like youβd grown accustomed to with him.Β
This was deeply loving, and it was all about you. There was something in his movements that was sending you a message, as if he was thanking you or perhaps opening up to you on a whole different level of trust that youβd never held with each other before.Β
βYouβre mine, youβll always be mine, wonβt you baby? Iβll never let anyone else have you.β Heβd mumbled in your ear, just one of many possessive statements breathed out between desperate moans of pleasure. And youβd agreed, lost in the throes of passion, consumed by him just like you always were.Β
Because you really were his.Β
You didnβt want anything to change that.Β
It would be nice to be able to slip back into the ignorance youβd held that morning, before youβd spoken to Yuki or cleaned the damn apartment. It really was bliss, to not have concern and anxiety eating away at your chest, leading you to question everything you held sacred in your life.Β
If only you could banish it all away.Β
Because in your soul, deep in there, you knew now that Sukuna was rotten.Β
On some level youβd known it for a while. Yuki and your parents had made no mistake in their assessments, and youβd brushed it aside all the same. You were drawn inexplicably to the man even through all his failings. If youβd had any sense you wouldβve run far from him the moment heβd broken in through your window. But you didnβt, and there you were, tangled up so intimately with a man who had likely murdered your ex-boyfriend.Β
Tangled with him and whispering words of love and affection against his shoulder, tangled with him and letting his hands run over your stomach where your baby grew, tangled with him and letting him do whatever he liked with you - just as you always had.Β
Because even as the rot he carried with him festered, visible to your eyes in a way it never had been before, you still werenβt sure you could bear to part with him.Β
a/n: sukuna actually crazy for the impact he's had on reader's mental over several years (since ryu) to the point where she's even hesitating after finding that stuff in his bathroom :(
stay with the murderous boyfriend and pretend everything's fine vs confront him and lose everything you love (and possibly your life) our girl is going THROUGH it :(
hope you enjoyed and thank you for the support! comments and reblogs are appreciated as always! <3
β§ summary the kingdom has sunk into a violent civil war, and you and your family, the lighthouse keepers, tried your best to stay out of it. that is until a group of rebels show up injured on your doorstep, begging for shelter you can't refuse.
β§ content mdni!; historical au; angst; smut; fluff too; alternating pov; blood and injury; violence; fights; death; blood; threats; reader dissociates; implied sexual threat (non-graphic); protective sukuna; love confessions; making out; kissing; virginity loss; oral (f receiving); piv sex; body worship; complex dynamics; slow burn; enemies to lovers sort of; mutual pining; hurt and comfort; yearning; dark themes
series masterlist here | <<previous chapter | next chapter>>
chapter 8: shipwreck
wc: 9.1k
"Look at me"
Sukuna's voice was reaching your ears, but the words seemed to get lost to the wind before you could even attempt to grasp them. Even when he tried calling your name, it sounded⦠strange. Unfamiliar. Like it should belong to someone you used to know, or maybe, someone you weren't anymore.
"Hey"
And Sukuna's tone could never be described as kind, but there was an uncharacteristic softness to how he tried to reach you. A raspiness that suggested he was just as scared as you were.
You didn't want him to be scared.
But you simply could not reach him right now.
"Can you stand?"
You were sure he was kneeling right next to you, but you had gone somewhere else.
Your eyes had completely disconnected from the real world ahead, focusing on whatever you could to steal you away from the nightmare next to you. Right now, that safe beacon was the moon β casting it's beautiful glow above the lighthouse.
It was night already.
Wasn't Sukuna meant to leave at nightfall?
Your memories were hazy, your thoughts scattered, but your eyes were focused β on the brightness up above, and how it illuminated the darkness all around.
"I need you to stand"
You didn't want to.
Because if you brought your eyes back, you'd see it again β your red hands. Sukuna's red hands.
The corpses lying next to you.
Was it so wrong to look somewhere else?
Your body had practically given out already, every nerve ending numb and your stomach completely emptied, the stench of it's contents making a vile mix with the blood that stained your clothes.
You didn't want to, but your face was unceremoniously moved away from the safety of the moon's glow, and turned towards another beautiful vision β Sukuna's eyes, so red and sharp, casting an even brighter light as the fire of the beacon shone within them, consuming you whole.
You could feel it now; how he had two large palms cupping your cheeks. You could somewhat feel how his fingers dug into your cheeks, but it was a faint sensation more than anything. Your body didn't exactly feel yours anymore, just a sack of meat and bones that you were vaguely aware of.
"Tch" you saw Sukuna grimace. Was he unhappy with you? Had you done something?
You wanted to reach your hand to him, but it didn't move. Wanted to apologise for whatever it was, but the words didn't leave your lips. You tasted salt, but it wasn't seawater β maybe you were crying. Was that why he wasn't happy?
While your brain tried to make sense of this dreadful world around you, it suddenly shifted completely. Sukuna hooked an arm under your legs and another on your back, and lifted you up with ease.
Your head danced as you struggled to focus your eyes again, looking at everything from above now, in Sukuna's embrace.
And there, you saw it.
The boy you had killed.
Everything became too real again, too fast.
"Sukunaβ" you cried, digging your nails onto his shoulders, turning to hide your face in his chest. If everything had gone numb for a few seconds, now it was like being electrocuted back to reality.
"You're ok" he said, but you felt him exhale. Clearly he was glad you had seemed to come back to yourself⦠even if you weren't.
Words still were stuck in your throat, and all you could do was hide into him, concealing your eyes in his broad frame. Sukuna carried you down the steps, taking you away from the horrific scene staining the lighthouse you loved.
But carried you where, exactly?
Because the further you went down, the closer you could hear it β sounds of struggle, of pain and violence. Battle cries and two many pairs of boots thumping on the ground nearby.
It was never this loud around here.
"What's happening?" you asked, all focus shifting. Choso had said earlier that the lighthouse would be used as a base β is this what it was?
Why did it sound like fighting, though?
Was there fighting?
Was your family safe?
"I need to find Choso" you said immediately, attempting to leave Sukuna's arms, but his grip only tightened. "My brothers, I need toβ"
"No" Sukuna grunted, tone final and sharp. "I'm keeping you safe"
It took you a second too long to understand the words fully.
But when you finally did, you started thrashing around, kicking and pushing and trying to get away from the man who held you. "I'm finding them" you protested, but Sukuna only let out a long sigh, turning you around so you could face him fully.
"Listen to me" he said, and his tone was so calm, so soft, that it did make you stop. "I'll find them, but I can't do that if I'm worried about you"
Something about how he looked at you⦠you believed him. Trusted him completely. The only thing that brought you a sliver of reassurance in this moment were his crimson eyes.
What in hell were you even supposed to do, when the world was crashing down all around you?
So you didn't resume the struggle, just let him hold you. Being alone terrified you, having Sukuna join in the middle of whatever battle terrified you, and not knowing where your family was terrified you more than anything.
But the way Sukuna looked at you⦠he seemed to understand.
He softly lowered you down, your feet touching the ground with a gentleness that wasn't expected from a situation like this. You used his arms to steady yourself, until you were sure you could stand up on your own.
You knew the lighthouse meant safety; but right now this room you knew so well felt cold and dark and full of ghosts.
"I'm scared" you admitted, refusing to let go of your grip on his forearm. Your hands were shaking, you realised.
And Sukuna noticed it too, taking the opportunity to place his palm on top of yours, pressing it ever so slightly to his warm skin. "I know" he murmured, thumb brushing over the back of your hand. "I promised I'd come for you, didn't I?"
You wanted to protest, but every word was lost to the wind when Sukuna came down to seal his promise with a kiss. You seem to relax under his touch, even just a little, but really, Sukuna's reasoning had been selfish β he simply couldn't bear to hear your voice break when you begged him to let you join again.
Even right now, feeling you shake and cling to him, it hurt more than a dagger to his back.
His hand left yours to cup your cheek, his other interlacing your fingers together. You felt so small under him, so fragile. Sukuna would have rather taken you far away, away from all of this, but he knew you'd never leave your family behind.
In an odd way for someone like him, he also wanted to protect them.
And that meant keeping you safe so he could do that. But it pained him to leave you in here just as much as it pained you to stay.
The kiss was tender, lingering for as long as you both could in the situation you found yourselves in. You were terrified it would be your last, and Sukuna would never let it show that he was just as scared.
When he tried to pull away, you couldn't bear to let him go.
"I can fight" you tried to say, as Sukuna took a blanket and placed it over your shoulders.
"I don't want you to" he replied, helping you sit on the corner, hidden among the furniture.
He had seen how you looked upstairs, when he failed to protect you. Sukuna could deal with that guilt later, but right now the one thing he was certain of was that he'd never allow you to be in that situation again.
And he saw how you suddenly looked both relieved and more worried at his words. "They would have sent my brothers to the beach" your brain started trying to map out every possible scenario, trying to hold on to him again. "There are caves to hide down there, they know it wellβ"
"I'll find them" Sukuna reassured again, taking your hands to his lips for a short kiss, and placing them gently back on your lap.
"There are boats, too, maybe they would haveβ" you kept saying as he readied himself.
"You have the key?" Sukuna interrupted. He had one hand already on the doorknob, looking over his shoulder to wait for your nod. "Lock the door as soon as I leave"
It was all you could do.
Sukuna hadn't expected to be back in this hell so soon.
He was foolish enough to allow himself to dream these past few weeks. To hope for a life that could be gentle, maybe even shared with someone else, the only person in this forsaken world that didn't see him as a killer and nothing more.
Stupid. This was all it ever came down to, and he should have know better.
As soon as he was out of the lighthouse, he was greeted by a very familiar scene. Men running, men crying, men strewn along the floor as the smell of their blood mixed with the sea salt in the air.
He didn't want you to see this, what war actually looked like. What it had done to your home.
He waited for the click of the door locking behind him, finally letting out a long exhale. His body struggled to move, picturing how you might look on the other side β were you still there, saying a silent prayer with your forehead to the frame? Were you crying again?
He hated this, but he had to move. Because this one time was indeed different; he wasn't fighting for the sake of it anymore.
Right now, he had a promise to keep.
Find your family. Keep you safe.
He could only hope you wouldn't do something stupid, but Sukuna tried to keep that possibility as far away from his mind as he could as he left you, and dove deeper into hell.
The first man who tried to charge him didn't even get a chance to fully lift his sword. Sukuna's blade had already slashed him across the middle, a movement as effortless as walking.
Fighting was second nature to him.
And Sukuna didn't want you to see that either.
Another soldier, even more stupid this time. The poor boy tried to turn around when he realised who he was facing, but Sukuna was fast.
Another one down.
Would you have been as disgusted by him as you were with yourself?
As Sukuna slashed through his enemies, all he could think about was how you had looked when that man was bleeding all over you. You were too fucking good for this world, too fucking good for him.
He wanted to protect you more than anything, and right now he was doing an awful job at that. Wasn't there when you needed him most earlier, and abandoned you to cry all alone in a room that probably had blood dripping through the ceiling's floorboards.
The least he could do was find your family.
But Sukuna recognised these uniforms, and he knew there were far more of his men than your brother's. The fighting seemed to have started not far from here, and the fact it had scattered to your home was just bad luck. Just what happened in war, when armies were forced to retreat.
The rebels must have learnt of the loyalist's plan to set camp up near the lighthouse, and set up an ambush up the road. Seemed the most logical conclusion β it's what he would have done, after all.
Just an order he would have given without a second thought.
Right now, his thoughts were clouded with regrets.
Sukuna rushed past the sweaty men clinking their swords, more worried about his mission than serving in his master's fight. He followed another source of light, as bright as the beacon and the moon up above both β it was the roof of the main house, set ablaze.
Sukuna growled at that, hating to see your home caught up in this destruction. Hating how normal it felt, too.
It's just what happened in war.
Men fought. Homes burned. Women suffered.
That truth suddenly brought him to a halt, blood running cold. Don't do anything stupid, Sukuna prayed once more, hoping you would stay put where he had left you.
He had to find them, and fast. The faster he did, the faster he'd have you safe in his arms again.
His boot kicked the wooden door, making it rattle on its hinges as it struggled to stay connected. The fire was hot above his head but Sukuna didn't care, looking in the most obvious place first and foremost.
"Choso?" he called, the name uncomfortable in his mouth. Sukuna kept moving through, using his elbow to hide his face in amidst the smoke, kicking every door as fast as he could.
He hated seeing your home caught up in flames like this. The dining table; where he had first taken a good luck at your beautiful face. His angel, come to save him. The room where you had stitched him together. Your room.
All gone.
Sukuna didn't know who was responsible for the fire, but they'd pay for it. He'd make sure of it.
But most importantly of all though, was the fact the space was empty.
No one was here.
There were signs that a fight had taken place, and your father's sword wasn't anywhere to be seen. Sukuna hoped they would have been smart and left, but he knew your family was as stubborn as you were.
Finally, he noticed the door all the way at the back β open, flailing in the wind. He rushed there, remembering the path behind the house where they would have certainly escaped from.
He didn't know if it would lead to anything, but it was the best clue he had.
Sukuna rushed through, coughing with the smoke, feeling the heat burn the hairs at the back of his neck, but determined to complete his mission.
Finally, he saw someone he recognised.
Sukuna had seen your brother fight before, and Choso had been talented then. But seeing how he fought to defend his home β it was more than that. Choso moved like an animal; bleeding and sweating but still going, slashing across another man as another two rushed to join the fight.
There were already three corpses at his feet, all in rebel colours. How long had he been fighting on his own?
Well, he wouldn't be anymore.
Sukuna ran towards him, his sword intercepting a blow that would have come right for your brother's neck if he hadn't been so fast.
"Sukuna?" Choso's eyes grew wide as he turned around to see who had helped him.
And he wasn't the only one β the other two men seemed utterly confused by Sukuna's interruption. They exchanged a look, unsure of what to do now that their commander had joined the frayβ¦ but on the other side.
"Focus" Sukuna said to Choso, effortlessly turning his sword around to slash the men's head clean off.
The other rebel looked terrified, motioning to run backwards before Choso ceased the opportunity to sink his blade into the man's middle, aiming it diagonally upwards towards his heart.
A clean cut, a fast death. As merciful as one could be in times like this.
Sukuna would have scoffed if it didn't remind him so much of you.
"Where areβ" he started to say, but Choso was falling forwards fast as soon as the other man's body hit the ground.
Sukuna grabbed him by the shoulders, trying to keep him upright. "You're injured?" he asked, feeling the pain of his guilt only grow. If he had been too lateβ
"No" Choso panted, struggling to keep his breath in. Sukuna didn't believe him, but he knew what adrenaline could do to a man. "Is my sisterβ"
"She's safe" Sukuna reassured, and Choso breathed a little easier.
"Whereβ"
"Safe" Sukuna repeated. "Where are the others?"
"The beach" Choso tried to say, and Sukuna smiled at how well you knew your family. "My father can protect them, but if the soldiers are already downβ"
"I'll go" Sukuna decided. "Go to the lighthouse, she'sβ"
"What? No" Choso protested, trying to find his footing though it was clearly a struggle. "I need to keep fighting"
Sukuna rolled his eyes, helping his old rival to stand once again. Only then he noticed the red staining Choso's shirt, right on his side. Not fatal, he hoped. A comical thought to have about someone he himself had tried to kill not too long ago.
But it explained why Choso looked so pale.
"You're as stubborn as your sister" Sukuna huffed, forearm to Choso's chest to keep him upright.
A rare smile tugged at the corner of his lips. "Thanks" Choso chuckled dryly.
"Point me to where they are, I'll goβ"
"Sukuna?"
The familiar voice snapped both their heads sideways, to the tall man atop the horse, tall above everyone else. His long hair flew in the wind, his heavy armour glistening in the light of the fire behind him. No one else had been dressed quite so flashy for this honourless ambush, but Sukuna didn't even need to look to know who it was.
He would have recognised that unsettling tone anywhere.
"How rude to join once the fight is already won" Kenjaku laughed, as if his clean armour didn't suggest just the same.
Sukuna gritted his teeth, angry. He was the last man he expected to see here, and the last one he hoped to too.
"And who is this?" his king continued. "Didn't know you to take prisoners"
"Not a prisoner" Sukuna said quickly, raising his voice to match his status. "A guest"
Kenjaku seemed awfully amused by that. "Guest?" he echoed, smiling.
"His family runs this lighthouse" he explained. "They took care of my injuries, and I'd hope to return the favour"
Kenjaku turned his head sideways, watching the scene. Choso, slumped forward with one hand to Sukuna's shoulder, trying his best to stay upright despite the blood quickly leaving him. And his once loyal commander, holding on to the boy in a way that suggested he actually cared.
"This boy wears the wrong colours" Kenjaku mused, fascinated.
"And still they allowed me to stay" Sukuna argued.
Kenjaku sighed, seeming to grow annoyed now. "So it is as Kento told" he shook his head. So his fellow men were still alive, it seemed. "Fine. Have the medics tend to him"
"Thank you, my King" Sukuna did a small courtesy, and the other man finally seemed to approve.
"You seem to have grown sentimental, Sukuna" he taunted. "Go clear the rest of them"
Sukuna nodded, looking ahead to the other soldiers still scattered around the battlefield they had made of your home.
He didn't have a choice.
Your hands were shaking where they gripped the blanket, hiding in the corner where Sukuna had left you. You felt useless. Uterly, completely useless, hiding like a scared child instead of searching for the people you loved.
What if none of them ever returned?
What if you were lost in here forever, or worse β found by someone who wasn't them?
In the darkness of this room, it was impossible to not let your mind wander. Every possible scenario to explain the loud sounds outside the door, every horrible thing to excuse the fact Sukuna had been gone for so long.
You hated it. This space was suffocating, and your imagination was even worse. All you could do was say your prayers, to whoever may listen, and wait.
Wait.
Until you heard it.
A knock. Sharp as you had grown to expect. A voice calling your name.
You ran as fast as you could, unlocking the door with trembling hands, cursing at yourself for how you failed this simple task.
But when it finally swung open, Sukuna was standing there. Covered in sweat and dirt and stains of red you didn't want to look at, but alive.
That was all that mattered right now.
But even in this state, you threw yourself at him, sinking your face onto the crook of his neck where you noticed a fresh scratch that hadn't been there earlier. Sukuna was fast to catch you, hands immediately dropping his sword to the ground so he could bring them to your middle and pull you in close, breathing in your scent.
Alive, the two of you exhaled the same thought.
"Did youβ" you started.
"They're safe"
"All of them?"
"All of them" Sukuna confirmed.
You didn't even know what emotion was the strongest then. Relief? Gratitude? These seemed like such thin words to describe the weight of how you felt. It was all coming in a rush, finally a light shining to ease the dread you had spent the last hours in.
"Thank you" you muttered, sinking your head on his chest now. "Thank you"
Sukuna pulled you in tight, so glad to see you here, so glad to see you safe. If only he could keep you right here in his arms forever β but he knew that was impossible. At one point, sooner or later, you would have to come face to face with the state his men had left your precious home.
"We⦠can't stay here" he whispered to you, a hand at the back of your head to keep you right where you were. "Will you come with me?"
"Where?" you asked, already knowing what your answer would be.
Sukuna exhaled sharply through his nose, trying to figure out the best way to start. "We'll be regrouping near Kenjaku's castle" he explained. "He assured there would be a room for us, and your family too"
Maybe the good news would hold your focus, but Sukuna always knew you were too astute for that.
"Regrouping?" you echoed, lifting your head. "Do you meanβ"
"Yes" Sukuna nodded, seeing the understanding start to turn behind your eyes.
"They attacked my home" you stated, a fact you were begging him to deny.
"They attacked the loyalists" Sukuna explained, knowing it wouldn't make it much better. "They were the ones who wanted to use the lighthouse as base"
You did seem to consider what he was saying, though your heart was heavy. "I don't want to be near them" you shook your head, sinking into Sukuna again. "I want to stay here"
Sukuna left a kiss to the top of your head, fearing the news he had to give. "You can't"
"Why?" your voice came out muffled against his chest, making this even harder.
Sukuna didn't know how to answer you. How could he tell you your childhood home, the place you loved, had been left to burn?
"Why?" you asked again, and again he couldn't tell you. He saw you look up at him with anger and fear all over your beautiful face, and push past his shoulder to move him out of the way.
Sukuna stepped to the side, allowing you to see the waste that lay ahead of you. He had expected you to collapse like you had earlier β but it seemed you were far beyond grief at this point.
Your hands balled into fists, your breathing stopped. "Who did this?" you tried to say, though your voice came out raspy and tight.
Sukuna sighed, bringing you back to him. "I don't know" was all he could say, as you allowed your head to be brought to his chest again. You weren't ready to look at it just yet.
"My family is safe?" you asked, with all the remaining strength you could muster.
"Yes" Sukuna confirmed.
"And they will come too?"
"Of course"
"Fine" you huffed. "Take us to your camp"
Your venom and resentment was dripping from every word, but your hand still reached for Sukuna's when he guided you out the door.
Being forced to face the aftermath was never something Sukuna enjoyed. Before he could have dismissed it and turned a blind eye β but it was impossible to do so when the person walking through the wreckage of their home was someone he cared about.
You didn't scream or sob once you saw it, but that was almost worse. It was like all fight had just left you.
Sukuna didn't know a way he could make this better, not when it was his men that caused this.
"Don't look" he warned you as he helped you up on a horse, but you didn't listen. As much as it hurt, you wanted to see all of it. Had to.
You didn't speak for the whole ride. Not when Sukuna sat you between his thighs, with one of his arms protectively holding on to your middle to keep you close, nor when you stopped to get some rest.
You curled against him in the night, and feeling your warmth brought him some comfort, but you couldn't reciprocate it. Everything about you had gone stiff.
The only time he saw you show some emotion was days later, when you finally made it to camp and requested to be guided to the medical tent where your family rested. Sukuna saw you fall in front of your brother, and Choso's arms close around your back even though he was the one laying on the stretcher. He saw your father place a hand to your shoulder to calm your tears, and the two little ones rush to your side.
And then he left.
Sukuna didn't feel like he was allowed to watch such a scene, when he had been the one to bring destruction into your life. Cursed, he spat on the floor, reminding himself of his condition.
He had done his duty, kept you all safe, bargained in your favour β perhaps it was time to let you go.
What a fool he was to think he could ever do that.
"It's good to see you're well" someone said amidst the busy voices at camp, a tone far gentler than Sukuna would expect.
He turned his chin up to see Kento walking towards him, armour still on after the battle. It was nice to see him, but Sukuna couldn't find any words to respond, settling with a short nod instead.
"I am sorry about the lighthouse" his friend said solemnly, coming to stand next to Sukuna. "Is she in there?"
He wanted to huff and spit in reply β how sorry could he be if he was one of it's attackers? But Sukuna knew better, and Kento was but a soldier. Not someone who could have prevented this; no, the only person who probably could have was Sukuna himself.
"Yes" he replied, hands deep in his pockets as he looked at the rocky floor below. Sukuna had grown accustomed to the distant sound of crashing waves, and their lack was extremely loud right now.
"How areβ"
"They're alive" he cut in. Kento nodded, satisfied with the answer.
"I heard her brother is in there" he continued, voice low and meant only for Sukuna. He didn't need to complete the thought for Sukuna to understand what he meant β no doubt treating Choso wasn't just a show of mercy from Kenjaku.
"He's not of rank" Sukuna groaned. "Just a boy playing at war"
"I know" Kento agreed. "I'll doubt that'll stop them getting any information they can out of him"
Sukuna finally kicked the stone he had been staring at, sending it rippling across the field. Of course nothing was every easy. "I'll ask for an audience" he decided, turning around to face his friend fully.
Kento nodded, trying not to linger on the subject. The two men stood side by side, taking in the movement all around them β such an odd thing, when the world seemed at a standstill.
"How are the others?" Sukuna muttered.
"Alive" Kento answered. "And well, too"
"Hm" Sukuna exhaled, the best he could do.
"Naoya is dead" Kento continued. "I trust that is good news to you"
"It is" Sukuna crossed his arms, remembering the reason he had sent the boy to his death in the first place.
"There were search parties when they found his body" Kento explained. "That's when they found us, too"
"That so?"
"We explained what happened" he continued. "Convinced them the lighthouse wasn't worth searching, that you were recovering there"
Sukuna rolled his eyes, all this seeming like part of a life he had half forgotten already. He didn't care for Naoya or Kenjaku or strategy β the only thing he cared about was in the tent right behind him, crying.
Because of the men standing all around.
His men.
"You attacked it anyway" Sukuna spat.
"The enemy forced our hand" Kento explained solemnly.
He knew it was true.
"Sukuna?" another voice called, and he was glad to see Toji standing above them, that scarred lip almost forming a smile. But he extended a piece of parchment, with lettering he recognised too well. "Kenjaku wants to see you" he explained.
Sukuna grunted but nodded, scrunching the invitation into his pocket. But just as he started to move, Toji stopped him again, nodding to the tent Sukuna had been guarding.
"Her too"
"So" Kenjaku started,sitting upon his throne with all the arrogance of a King and the dignity of a street urchin. Sukuna hated the man, hated his sense of self importance and how he saw people as pieces on a game board. And what Sukuna hated more than anything β was the way he was looking at you right now.
"My most precious commander disappears in the middle of war" he continued, chin resting on his knuckles. "And comes back with an enemy, two children, and old man, and⦠Pardon me, miss, I don't think we are acquainted"
He had that pompous smile dancing across his lips as he addressed you, waiting with all the patience in the world just to see how you were going to respond. Sukuna stood with his body half covering yours, but he could just about see how tense you looked behind him, your hands grasped together to hide their sweat.
Sukuna's fingers twitched, earning to grasp yours, but he only held his hand close. He knew how unpredictable his King could be. Especially in a room surrounded by soldiers in armour, closing in on you both like this was a criminal trial instead of a celebratory reunion.
"Well?" Kenjaku pressed on.
"She's with me" Sukuna snapped before you could give him your name, tone territorial as his body stepped to fully cover you. Gratitude swam in your chest, but it wasn't enough to calm your fears just yet.
"By the gods, Sukuna" Kenjaku laughed, throwing his head back in delight. "There is no need for such jealousy, my friend"
Sukuna huffed, rolling his shoulders back. "It is me who must atone" Sukuna reasoned. "Let her go and rest"
"Oh, you will atone" the king responded, leaning back into his seat. "But right now⦠I am curious"
Sukuna remained quiet. He should have known better, should have expected the whole camp would be talking about his disappearance and the woman he insisted on guarding since.
If there was one thing Kenjaku enjoyed, was knowing people's weaknesses. Ally or otherwise.
"It is rude not to introduce yourself" he challenged, and Sukuna heard your breathing hitch behind him.
"She has been through enough" Sukuna argued.
And it was true.
You had, and he blamed himself for it.
And now here he had gone and trapped you into another viper's nest.
"Explain, then" he rolled his eyes. "Since this girl seems to be mute"
Sukuna inhaled deeply, considering his words very carefully. It took everything in him to not attack this king right there, just for the way he spoke of you. But he knew he had to be careful here.
"They tended to my wounds" he explained.
"And now you ask to drag them to my camp?" Kenjaku rose an eyebrow. "Quite the odd payment"
"Their home was destroyed" Sukuna argued through gritted teeth.
"The price of war" his king waved a hand. "Quite a shame"
The whole room felt suffocating with the dozens of stares β he knew other people were scared of him, but they seemed even more fascinated by you. By this woman who had the fearsome Sukuna acting like a sworn shield.
He was ready to fight each and every one of them if he had to, but before he could speak again, he heard your voice coming from behind him, your name leaving your lips.
Kenjaku finally seemed terribly amused.
You had stepped fully next to Sukuna now, lowering yourself in a small reverence. Sukuna should have expected it β you were as brave as you were foolish. "It's an honour to make your acquaintance, my King" you said, voice still shaking at the edges, but these were the first words Sukuna had heard from you in days.
And for that, he was relieved.
"So she can speak" Kenjaku hummed, delighted. "Maybe you will give me some explanation, since my knight has forgotten himself"
Sukuna swallowed thickly, his jaw clicking as he tensed it. He knew you were intelligent, but you didn't know Kenjaku like he did.
"I know nothing of war, my liege" you continued. "My family controls the lighthouse, or, controlled" you corrected yourself, pain dripping from each word.
"Yes, so I hear" he squinted his eyes at you. "A base for the enemy, and yet you call me King"
Sukuna was ready to intervene, but you continued. "I know nothing of that, my liege" you said, composed. "My brother has fought for the other side, it's true, but has since recognised the error of his ways andβ"
"Please, girl, there's no need for deception" Kenjaku waved you off with his hand, opening another smile as he relaxed onto his chair. "I know all about your traitorous brother"
"Heβ"
"He's helped me" Sukuna interrupted you now, as soon as he heard the tears starting to form through your voice. Your head snapped to him, eyes wide and terrified, like Sukuna was hope personified. "Choso betrayed his men for our cause"
Kenjaku seemed annoyed now that Sukuna had joined the conversation again, his lips pursing sideways as his finger tips tapped the hand rests. "Why?"
Sukuna swallowed, your eyes on him burning more than all the others. "He's recognised the pretender for what he is"
Kenjaku was still not satisfied, seeing trough Sukuna's shameless flattery far too easily. He only scoffed, and kept waiting, giving him time to come up with the truth or a more convincing lie.
What the hell was Sukuna supposed to say?
Because I love her? They'd find it ridiculous.
But he didn't have any other explanation.
"My King" Sukuna knelt fully, the greatest show of respect. "I have done much for you, I only ask one thingβ spare them"
This action alone seemed to please him, however. "I can't remember the last time you've knelt, Sukuna" Kenjaku laughed, one eyebrow perched up on his forehead. "Is this whore really worth it?"
Sukuna kept his eyes on the floor, knowing Kenjaku was just trying to taunt him. To get a reaction. And he hated that it was working.
"You left, Sukuna, and now you ask for mercy?" Kenjaku continued when it became clear Sukuna wouldn't. "I should kill her right now to show you respect"
Sukuna snapped into action as soon as the words left his Kings lips, standing up just as two men in armour stepped in to hold you by the arms. For the first time, Sukuna could see your face fully β scared, terrified.
"Fucking touch her again and I'll kill you" Sukuna threatened, sword already unsheathed, and at the very least you did feel the two men loosen their grip.
But still, you looked at Sukuna with wide eyes that screamed for help, but this wasn't a fight the two of you could win with strength alone, not when you were surrounded like this.
You had to think, and you had to think fast.
"Stop" you yelled, forcing them all to listen. "I am with child"
At that, the whole room came to a halt.
Sukuna hoped no one would notice how he looked at you so utterly confused, his thick brows squinting together before his brain understood what you were doing. The two men had let go of your arms, looking to Kenjaku for instructions.
But all he did was let out a very, very long laugh, that reverberated through the whole hall.
"So that's what this is about?" he continued, enjoying this far too much. "I thought you were smarter than to sire bastards, Sukuna" he laughed.
"Not a bastard" he replied, embarrassed at how that obvious lie had made him feel inside.
"Oh" Kenjaku hummed. "Has my commander fallen in love?" he mocked.
Sukuna swallowed thickly, but held your gaze as he gave his final word. "Yes" he confirmed.
He thought he saw a small smile try to tug at your lips, the first one in a long while.
"How touching. Fine" his King sighed, sounding utterly bored now. With nothing but a wave of his hand, he dismissed the men around you. "Guards, show them their room. I won't harm your family βΒ yet. But they'll stay here"
"T-Thank you, my lord" you tried to say.
"And Sukuna" Kenjaku completed, as you both turned to leave. "I hope to see you at camp soon enough"
"Are you mad?!" Sukuna flew to your side as soon as the household guard shut the door behind him, the large bedroom greeting the two of you. He didn't bother looking around, no, all he cared about was bringing you close, cupping your cheeks with his gruff hands.
You only laughed at his hurried embrace, resting your forehead on his. You were clearly proud of yourself, and Sukuna couldn't deny it β you were too smart for your own good.
Still, the biggest threat was dealt with. For now.
"Don't I deserve some thanks, sir?" you teased, and Sukuna let out an annoyed tsk just above you.
"You fool" he huffed, lowering his hands to pull you into his chest. "You shouldn't have said anything, youβ"
"Did you mean it?" your voice interrupted him, so small he wasn't sure you had actually meant for him to hear it. Maybe you weren't sure either.
So Sukuna pulled you back just a little, lowering his head so it was closer to yours. "What?"
"You have fallen in love?"
Sukuna's shoulders tensed, his fingers digging into your sides. The question was preposterous, as surely everyone would agree. There should be no such thing as love for someone like him β he wanted to protest it, deny it, claim you were too good for such a man.
But he didn't.
"Yes" Sukuna admitted, the word falling off his lips far easier than he would have ever expected.
What was the point in denying it now?
Maybe this would have been his biggest act of selfishness, but the beautiful smile forming on your lips made him not care.
"Do you mean that?" you whispered, and he hooked his finger under your chin to force you to face him.
"Yes" Sukuna repeated.
He wasn't good with words, so he proved it to you the best way he could. A slow kiss, warm and tender, one he hoped would prove to you how terrified he was of losing you.
Even the fight being over did nothing to calm Sukuna's anxieties on the matter. For the days ride you had barely exchanged a word, and Sukuna had feared you had finally seen him for what he truly was, and shut off your heart completely.
There were no words to explain his happiness when you reciprocated the kiss, leaning into him with enough force to prove your devotion.
Life could be so easy if it was always like this. Of course, that was rarely ever the case.
"We are not out of danger yet" Sukuna broke the kiss, thumb brushing the skin of your stomach as he remembered how your cunning had saved you both. "They'll know you weren't telling the truth in a matter of weeks"
"Then make it true"
"β¦What?"
Was it just him, or had time stopped for a second?
You brought your hand to rest on top of his, pressing him ever so slightly into your flesh. Your eyes stared at his behind long eyelashes, your face the happiest it had looked in days.
"Make it true" you repeated, mouth just inches from his.
Somehow, you had left the powerful Sukuna speechless. Perhaps you weren't just cunning β maybe you were a witch too. A sea witch, come to steal his heart that night he had thought you an angel.
"You are betrothed" he reasoned, more to himself than to you.
"I don't want to marry a lord I've never met" you replied, steadfast. "I want to marry you"
Did Sukuna ever fathom he'd hear these words?
Maybe he had been killed in battle, and this was heaven.
"You don't know what you're saying" he whispered, though his fingers were tensing, digging into your flesh. Gods, you made this so hard for him.
"I do" you swallowed, bringing your hands to his pink strands now. "You saved us"
That made him pause.
This whole time, Sukuna had been chastising himself for all that had happened, believing you blamed him too.
He would have never suspected you were grateful.
"My family is alive because of you" you kept saying, tears starting to stream down your face. "I am alive because of you"
There was a knot the size of a rock inside Sukuna's throat, keeping him silent as he heard you say the most meaningful words you could have to him.
"You kept your promise" you smiled, even amidst the tears.
Sukuna pulled you close, resting your forehead to yours again. "I couldn't live with myself otherwise" he confessed.
"I don't want you to leave me again" you cried. "I want you to make me yours"
Sukuna couldn't help a scoff, a hand pulling the back of your head to him as he adorned a mesmerised smile.
"You are already mine"
And with that, his lips were on yours again. Restless, inevitable, all consuming β a kiss that was like a ship sinking into the ocean, slowly accepting the truth that couldn't be avoided anymore.
For Sukuna's smug words, he knew he had been yours far before you had been his. From that first night, when you saved him. And saved him again and again and again.
Made him believe there was more he could be.
"Sukunaβ" you whispered his name, throwing your neck backwards as he leaned down to explore the flesh there, leaving open mouth kisses all over. One of his large hands had traveled to your thigh, pulling it against him, holding you upright so that you didn't have to.
So that you could just give in to all the pleasure he wanted to give you.
This was mad, he realised. But the whole world had already gone mad way before this.
"Sukuna" you moaned again, hand pulling strands of his pink hair, his lips coming lower to your collarbones.
He exhaled, biting your shoulder playfully. "If you keep saying my name like that" he panted. "I won't be able to stop"
"Don't stop" you pleaded, nails leaving small half moon marks on his skin.
With far too much ease, Sukuna lifted you up and carried you to the mattress in the centre of the room. He lowered you down, gently, making sure there was a pillow behind your head and your clothes weren't all askew.
You were nervous, feeling your heart hammering inside your chest and an unfamiliar heat pooling between your legs. You had never been touched like this before, had never expected you would have begged for someone like this.
Sukuna's gruff hands were gentle as they caressed your flesh, tenderly squeezing your legs as he started pulling the fabric of your dress to your waist. You had read about this in books, thought you had some idea as to what expect.
But then Sukuna stood up, and you were utterly confused.
You pushed yourself up on your elbows, squinting at him for just long enough to see him grab you by the ankles, pulling you all the way to the edge of the mattress.
Your brows were completely knitted together as you saw him sink to his knees, a very amused grin visible on his lips before they disappeared.
Disappeared, and⦠touched you somewhere very unexpected.
"Wh-what are you doing?!" you yelped as his head sunk between your thighs, feeling an odd mix of pleasure and shame as soon as what was certainly his tongue had touched you in the most intimate of places.
Sukuna didn't bother explaining, because he knew you'd understand soon enough.
Two of his hands closed your thighs around his head, forcing them shut between his head. How was he breathing?! you thought, but all thoughts suddenly started fading away. "Oh" you moaned, back arching off the bed.
None of the books said anything about that.
"Stay still" he grunted between your legs, but you could have sworn he was laughing. It was, in fact, impossible to remain still, when Sukuna was so good at being so depraved β his tongue alone making you see stars as he kept drinking from you like you were the finest wine.
Your body acted like it wanted to run away from him, but your mind wanted nothing more than to stay right there. It was an odd thing, how he made you so sensitive you felt like you had no control, like your body was just acting on it's own and squeezing and tensing and gasping and then⦠Soaring, far above the sky.
A feeling like nothing you had ever felt before, washing all over you like the sun coming out after a storm.
The books didn't tell you about that, either.
You blinked slowly, completely lost in a daze as you saw Sukuna climb on top of you, his face a wet mess. Had you done that?
"Am I making you feel good?" he teased, right to your ear, and you felt yourself shiver all over again. How did he make you react like this, so easily?
"Y-yes" you replied, hypnotised by him. His smile was bright and smug when he brought his lips back down to yours, letting you feel your taste on his tongue, completely unashamed.
"Do you want to stop?" he asked between your lips. You only shook your head no.
That was all the confirmation he needed, before he started untying your dress, loosening the fabric all around your skin.
Instinctively, you brought your hands to hide yourself. You had never been seen like this before, and a million thoughts invaded your head. Would you be⦠sufficient? Would Sukuna think you beautiful? Would he be disappointed?
The man had just been between your legs, but the idea of being completely naked by candle light in front of the man you loved⦠it made you far tenser than you had ever expected.
You had read about how much a woman was expected to prepare before her wedding night, and now it was only just downing on you how impulsive this all had been. Should you have prepared more? Would you manage to please him at all?
What if you couldn't andβ
"Don't hide from me" Sukuna whispered, softly caressing the top of your hand where you held on to your breasts. The touch was so tender that you found yourself nodding, slowly lowering your hands despite the heat in your cheeks.
If you had any doubt about your adequacy, it was all gone when you saw Sukuna's face then.
You had seen him angry, scared, murderous. But you had never seen him quite soβ¦infatuated.
His mouth had fallen into a silent gasp, so completely focused on your naked form even the tattoos around his face seemed to soften. "You are beautiful" he whispered, testing how it would feel to slowly cup one of your breasts, watching for your reaction every step of the way.
You swallowed thickly, happiness mixing in with the anxiety. "I like this" you nodded to his hand, how it was exploring your flesh, the pad of his thumb just slowly rolling one of your nipples.
Sukuna watched you as you spoke, bringing his other hand to give the other equal attention. You completely lowered yourself down, enjoying how Sukuna palmed at your skin with his hands, quickly followed by his mouth as his touch grew more rough.
"Mmh" you hummed, thighs squeezing together like they had before as you felt that heat start to pool again. Sukuna was utterly focused on your chest, his tongue rolling each nipples and mouth leaving wet kisses all over you.
It was gentle, but firm, and it left you desperate for more. Your eyes blinked open in your lustful haze, realising he didn't match you in your nakedness. "I want to see you too" you whispered, bringing a hand to pull at his shirt, and you watched his crimson eyes follow yours.
Sukuna seemed to understand, begrudgingly pulling away from your chest to sit back on his heels, and start pulling the shirt over his head. It revealed his chiseled torso, the scar from the night you had met, and all the muscles decorated by years of exercise and years of criminality too.
You found everything about him beautiful.
Every painful mark that told a story you wanted to ask him about. Your hands followed every dark line that contrasted against his skin, adorning his beautiful frame, from his abdomen to his thigh.
It only occurred to you then, that he might have been as nervous as you to be naked together.
"You are beautiful too" you whispered, and you could have sworn the tips of his ears turned a light shade of red.
Sukuna shoved you back down onto the bed, mouth finding yours and hips settling between your thighs. You were quick to respond, your legs pulling you into him like they once had done on the lighthouse floor, on that day you had been so ready to give him everything.
Before it all had taken a turn, and life become a nightmare.
But Sukuna had rescued you from that.
Right now, you couldn't be happier in your decision.
"Tell me if it hurts" he commanded, and you felt something start to press against you. Ah, that the books had told you about.
You nodded, interlacing your fingers together with his. You had expected pain and discomfort, but there was nothing of the sorts when Sukuna slowly started to enter you, patiently taking his time to work you open.
Still, you were struggling to accommodate his size.
"Is this, um, normal?" you questioned, worrying again about him finding you inadequate. Was it possible you were built so wrong you could never do this in the first place?
But Sukuna laughed, and slowly, he let go of one of your hands to bring it lower, to where you were connected. The tips of his fingers seemed to find the bundle of nerves he had been exploring with his tongue earlier, softly taking it between his thumb and index, the sensation alone making your body jolt again.
"Relax for me" he kissed the side of your face, hips managing to sink into you just a little bit more as you tried to do as he asked.
You had never read of this technique he was employing, but you weren't opposed to it at all.
The pleasure slowly did make you relax, and little by little Sukuna's hips sunk deeper, finally entering you halfway. He grunted on top of you, clearly struggling to not lose composure as well, while you relished in the sensation of being so completely full.
You had always hoped to lose your maidenhood with someone you loved, and you had actually done it.
Sukuna had saved you from that as well.
"Beautiful" he kissed the side of your face, taking himself the last few inches into you before entering all the way. You let out a loud whimper when you felt his hips connect with yours, but soon they started moving, and suddenly all the fears were wiped away.
This felt good.
"Ohβ" you whimpered as Sukuna rolled his hips into you, pushing himself up just a little to watch your beautiful face as you took him for the first time.
You looked down to see where you were connected, mesmerized by the scene, but soon you looked up again β to his penetrating crimson eyes, and the handsome smile beneath them.
Sukuna had a trickle of sweat dripping from his forehead, threatening to fall on you, but you didn't care. You were happy to share everything with him, every fluid and sweat and every inch of you β what had once seemed so terrifying, now brought you nothing but pleasure.
Sukuna felt so right inside of you.
He enjoyed the way your eyes were turning to the back of your head, his fingers going back to massaging the bundle of nerves to make you feel even more electric. You clenched him and Sukuna responded with a groan, hips slamming faster and faster into you.
You loved this, loved him β loved how desperate he was to make you feel good.
Just as that odd sensation started to creep back up again, you pulled him by the shoulders to lay completely on top of you, almost crushing you under his weight, but you didn't care.
You wanted his mouth on yours when you felt that high again.
And like he had thought the same, you felt him jolt inside of you too, whole body tensing as something started to spill inside of you, along with your name echoing from Sukuna's lips.
What if you did become pregnant now, you found yourself wondering? There would be no need to tell more lies, then.
But you were happy to keep trying anyway, just to be safe β of course.
There was so much still left to do. So much left to consider.
But right now, you deserved this little bit of peace. To be held in your lover's embrace, to be touched by hands that worshiped you. By the man who you trusted to keep you and your loved ones safe.
And all else could wait.
β§ a/n this chapter was so much fun i really hope you enjoyyy!! i love these two so much. part of me actually wants to add an extra chapter but we shall see.... excited to hear your thoughts <33
β§ summary the kingdom has sunk into a violent civil war, and you and your family, the lighthouse keepers, tried your best to stay out of it. that is until a group of rebels show up injured on your doorstep, begging for shelter you can't refuse.
β§ content mdni!; historical au; angst; smut; fluff too; alternating pov; blood and injury; violence; fights; death; blood; threats; reader dissociates; implied sexual threat (non-graphic); protective sukuna; love confessions; making out; kissing; virginity loss; oral (f receiving); piv sex; body worship; complex dynamics; slow burn; enemies to lovers sort of; mutual pining; hurt and comfort; yearning; dark themes
series masterlist here | <<previous chapter | next chapter>>
chapter 8: shipwreck
wc: 9.1k
"Look at me"
Sukuna's voice was reaching your ears, but the words seemed to get lost to the wind before you could even attempt to grasp them. Even when he tried calling your name, it sounded⦠strange. Unfamiliar. Like it should belong to someone you used to know, or maybe, someone you weren't anymore.
"Hey"
And Sukuna's tone could never be described as kind, but there was an uncharacteristic softness to how he tried to reach you. A raspiness that suggested he was just as scared as you were.
You didn't want him to be scared.
But you simply could not reach him right now.
"Can you stand?"
You were sure he was kneeling right next to you, but you had gone somewhere else.
Your eyes had completely disconnected from the real world ahead, focusing on whatever you could to steal you away from the nightmare next to you. Right now, that safe beacon was the moon β casting it's beautiful glow above the lighthouse.
It was night already.
Wasn't Sukuna meant to leave at nightfall?
Your memories were hazy, your thoughts scattered, but your eyes were focused β on the brightness up above, and how it illuminated the darkness all around.
"I need you to stand"
You didn't want to.
Because if you brought your eyes back, you'd see it again β your red hands. Sukuna's red hands.
The corpses lying next to you.
Was it so wrong to look somewhere else?
Your body had practically given out already, every nerve ending numb and your stomach completely emptied, the stench of it's contents making a vile mix with the blood that stained your clothes.
You didn't want to, but your face was unceremoniously moved away from the safety of the moon's glow, and turned towards another beautiful vision β Sukuna's eyes, so red and sharp, casting an even brighter light as the fire of the beacon shone within them, consuming you whole.
You could feel it now; how he had two large palms cupping your cheeks. You could somewhat feel how his fingers dug into your cheeks, but it was a faint sensation more than anything. Your body didn't exactly feel yours anymore, just a sack of meat and bones that you were vaguely aware of.
"Tch" you saw Sukuna grimace. Was he unhappy with you? Had you done something?
You wanted to reach your hand to him, but it didn't move. Wanted to apologise for whatever it was, but the words didn't leave your lips. You tasted salt, but it wasn't seawater β maybe you were crying. Was that why he wasn't happy?
While your brain tried to make sense of this dreadful world around you, it suddenly shifted completely. Sukuna hooked an arm under your legs and another on your back, and lifted you up with ease.
Your head danced as you struggled to focus your eyes again, looking at everything from above now, in Sukuna's embrace.
And there, you saw it.
The boy you had killed.
Everything became too real again, too fast.
"Sukunaβ" you cried, digging your nails onto his shoulders, turning to hide your face in his chest. If everything had gone numb for a few seconds, now it was like being electrocuted back to reality.
"You're ok" he said, but you felt him exhale. Clearly he was glad you had seemed to come back to yourself⦠even if you weren't.
Words still were stuck in your throat, and all you could do was hide into him, concealing your eyes in his broad frame. Sukuna carried you down the steps, taking you away from the horrific scene staining the lighthouse you loved.
But carried you where, exactly?
Because the further you went down, the closer you could hear it β sounds of struggle, of pain and violence. Battle cries and two many pairs of boots thumping on the ground nearby.
It was never this loud around here.
"What's happening?" you asked, all focus shifting. Choso had said earlier that the lighthouse would be used as a base β is this what it was?
Why did it sound like fighting, though?
Was there fighting?
Was your family safe?
"I need to find Choso" you said immediately, attempting to leave Sukuna's arms, but his grip only tightened. "My brothers, I need toβ"
"No" Sukuna grunted, tone final and sharp. "I'm keeping you safe"
It took you a second too long to understand the words fully.
But when you finally did, you started thrashing around, kicking and pushing and trying to get away from the man who held you. "I'm finding them" you protested, but Sukuna only let out a long sigh, turning you around so you could face him fully.
"Listen to me" he said, and his tone was so calm, so soft, that it did make you stop. "I'll find them, but I can't do that if I'm worried about you"
Something about how he looked at you⦠you believed him. Trusted him completely. The only thing that brought you a sliver of reassurance in this moment were his crimson eyes.
What in hell were you even supposed to do, when the world was crashing down all around you?
So you didn't resume the struggle, just let him hold you. Being alone terrified you, having Sukuna join in the middle of whatever battle terrified you, and not knowing where your family was terrified you more than anything.
But the way Sukuna looked at you⦠he seemed to understand.
He softly lowered you down, your feet touching the ground with a gentleness that wasn't expected from a situation like this. You used his arms to steady yourself, until you were sure you could stand up on your own.
You knew the lighthouse meant safety; but right now this room you knew so well felt cold and dark and full of ghosts.
"I'm scared" you admitted, refusing to let go of your grip on his forearm. Your hands were shaking, you realised.
And Sukuna noticed it too, taking the opportunity to place his palm on top of yours, pressing it ever so slightly to his warm skin. "I know" he murmured, thumb brushing over the back of your hand. "I promised I'd come for you, didn't I?"
You wanted to protest, but every word was lost to the wind when Sukuna came down to seal his promise with a kiss. You seem to relax under his touch, even just a little, but really, Sukuna's reasoning had been selfish β he simply couldn't bear to hear your voice break when you begged him to let you join again.
Even right now, feeling you shake and cling to him, it hurt more than a dagger to his back.
His hand left yours to cup your cheek, his other interlacing your fingers together. You felt so small under him, so fragile. Sukuna would have rather taken you far away, away from all of this, but he knew you'd never leave your family behind.
In an odd way for someone like him, he also wanted to protect them.
And that meant keeping you safe so he could do that. But it pained him to leave you in here just as much as it pained you to stay.
The kiss was tender, lingering for as long as you both could in the situation you found yourselves in. You were terrified it would be your last, and Sukuna would never let it show that he was just as scared.
When he tried to pull away, you couldn't bear to let him go.
"I can fight" you tried to say, as Sukuna took a blanket and placed it over your shoulders.
"I don't want you to" he replied, helping you sit on the corner, hidden among the furniture.
He had seen how you looked upstairs, when he failed to protect you. Sukuna could deal with that guilt later, but right now the one thing he was certain of was that he'd never allow you to be in that situation again.
And he saw how you suddenly looked both relieved and more worried at his words. "They would have sent my brothers to the beach" your brain started trying to map out every possible scenario, trying to hold on to him again. "There are caves to hide down there, they know it wellβ"
"I'll find them" Sukuna reassured again, taking your hands to his lips for a short kiss, and placing them gently back on your lap.
"There are boats, too, maybe they would haveβ" you kept saying as he readied himself.
"You have the key?" Sukuna interrupted. He had one hand already on the doorknob, looking over his shoulder to wait for your nod. "Lock the door as soon as I leave"
It was all you could do.
Sukuna hadn't expected to be back in this hell so soon.
He was foolish enough to allow himself to dream these past few weeks. To hope for a life that could be gentle, maybe even shared with someone else, the only person in this forsaken world that didn't see him as a killer and nothing more.
Stupid. This was all it ever came down to, and he should have know better.
As soon as he was out of the lighthouse, he was greeted by a very familiar scene. Men running, men crying, men strewn along the floor as the smell of their blood mixed with the sea salt in the air.
He didn't want you to see this, what war actually looked like. What it had done to your home.
He waited for the click of the door locking behind him, finally letting out a long exhale. His body struggled to move, picturing how you might look on the other side β were you still there, saying a silent prayer with your forehead to the frame? Were you crying again?
He hated this, but he had to move. Because this one time was indeed different; he wasn't fighting for the sake of it anymore.
Right now, he had a promise to keep.
Find your family. Keep you safe.
He could only hope you wouldn't do something stupid, but Sukuna tried to keep that possibility as far away from his mind as he could as he left you, and dove deeper into hell.
The first man who tried to charge him didn't even get a chance to fully lift his sword. Sukuna's blade had already slashed him across the middle, a movement as effortless as walking.
Fighting was second nature to him.
And Sukuna didn't want you to see that either.
Another soldier, even more stupid this time. The poor boy tried to turn around when he realised who he was facing, but Sukuna was fast.
Another one down.
Would you have been as disgusted by him as you were with yourself?
As Sukuna slashed through his enemies, all he could think about was how you had looked when that man was bleeding all over you. You were too fucking good for this world, too fucking good for him.
He wanted to protect you more than anything, and right now he was doing an awful job at that. Wasn't there when you needed him most earlier, and abandoned you to cry all alone in a room that probably had blood dripping through the ceiling's floorboards.
The least he could do was find your family.
But Sukuna recognised these uniforms, and he knew there were far more of his men than your brother's. The fighting seemed to have started not far from here, and the fact it had scattered to your home was just bad luck. Just what happened in war, when armies were forced to retreat.
The rebels must have learnt of the loyalist's plan to set camp up near the lighthouse, and set up an ambush up the road. Seemed the most logical conclusion β it's what he would have done, after all.
Just an order he would have given without a second thought.
Right now, his thoughts were clouded with regrets.
Sukuna rushed past the sweaty men clinking their swords, more worried about his mission than serving in his master's fight. He followed another source of light, as bright as the beacon and the moon up above both β it was the roof of the main house, set ablaze.
Sukuna growled at that, hating to see your home caught up in this destruction. Hating how normal it felt, too.
It's just what happened in war.
Men fought. Homes burned. Women suffered.
That truth suddenly brought him to a halt, blood running cold. Don't do anything stupid, Sukuna prayed once more, hoping you would stay put where he had left you.
He had to find them, and fast. The faster he did, the faster he'd have you safe in his arms again.
His boot kicked the wooden door, making it rattle on its hinges as it struggled to stay connected. The fire was hot above his head but Sukuna didn't care, looking in the most obvious place first and foremost.
"Choso?" he called, the name uncomfortable in his mouth. Sukuna kept moving through, using his elbow to hide his face in amidst the smoke, kicking every door as fast as he could.
He hated seeing your home caught up in flames like this. The dining table; where he had first taken a good luck at your beautiful face. His angel, come to save him. The room where you had stitched him together. Your room.
All gone.
Sukuna didn't know who was responsible for the fire, but they'd pay for it. He'd make sure of it.
But most importantly of all though, was the fact the space was empty.
No one was here.
There were signs that a fight had taken place, and your father's sword wasn't anywhere to be seen. Sukuna hoped they would have been smart and left, but he knew your family was as stubborn as you were.
Finally, he noticed the door all the way at the back β open, flailing in the wind. He rushed there, remembering the path behind the house where they would have certainly escaped from.
He didn't know if it would lead to anything, but it was the best clue he had.
Sukuna rushed through, coughing with the smoke, feeling the heat burn the hairs at the back of his neck, but determined to complete his mission.
Finally, he saw someone he recognised.
Sukuna had seen your brother fight before, and Choso had been talented then. But seeing how he fought to defend his home β it was more than that. Choso moved like an animal; bleeding and sweating but still going, slashing across another man as another two rushed to join the fight.
There were already three corpses at his feet, all in rebel colours. How long had he been fighting on his own?
Well, he wouldn't be anymore.
Sukuna ran towards him, his sword intercepting a blow that would have come right for your brother's neck if he hadn't been so fast.
"Sukuna?" Choso's eyes grew wide as he turned around to see who had helped him.
And he wasn't the only one β the other two men seemed utterly confused by Sukuna's interruption. They exchanged a look, unsure of what to do now that their commander had joined the frayβ¦ but on the other side.
"Focus" Sukuna said to Choso, effortlessly turning his sword around to slash the men's head clean off.
The other rebel looked terrified, motioning to run backwards before Choso ceased the opportunity to sink his blade into the man's middle, aiming it diagonally upwards towards his heart.
A clean cut, a fast death. As merciful as one could be in times like this.
Sukuna would have scoffed if it didn't remind him so much of you.
"Where areβ" he started to say, but Choso was falling forwards fast as soon as the other man's body hit the ground.
Sukuna grabbed him by the shoulders, trying to keep him upright. "You're injured?" he asked, feeling the pain of his guilt only grow. If he had been too lateβ
"No" Choso panted, struggling to keep his breath in. Sukuna didn't believe him, but he knew what adrenaline could do to a man. "Is my sisterβ"
"She's safe" Sukuna reassured, and Choso breathed a little easier.
"Whereβ"
"Safe" Sukuna repeated. "Where are the others?"
"The beach" Choso tried to say, and Sukuna smiled at how well you knew your family. "My father can protect them, but if the soldiers are already downβ"
"I'll go" Sukuna decided. "Go to the lighthouse, she'sβ"
"What? No" Choso protested, trying to find his footing though it was clearly a struggle. "I need to keep fighting"
Sukuna rolled his eyes, helping his old rival to stand once again. Only then he noticed the red staining Choso's shirt, right on his side. Not fatal, he hoped. A comical thought to have about someone he himself had tried to kill not too long ago.
But it explained why Choso looked so pale.
"You're as stubborn as your sister" Sukuna huffed, forearm to Choso's chest to keep him upright.
A rare smile tugged at the corner of his lips. "Thanks" Choso chuckled dryly.
"Point me to where they are, I'll goβ"
"Sukuna?"
The familiar voice snapped both their heads sideways, to the tall man atop the horse, tall above everyone else. His long hair flew in the wind, his heavy armour glistening in the light of the fire behind him. No one else had been dressed quite so flashy for this honourless ambush, but Sukuna didn't even need to look to know who it was.
He would have recognised that unsettling tone anywhere.
"How rude to join once the fight is already won" Kenjaku laughed, as if his clean armour didn't suggest just the same.
Sukuna gritted his teeth, angry. He was the last man he expected to see here, and the last one he hoped to too.
"And who is this?" his king continued. "Didn't know you to take prisoners"
"Not a prisoner" Sukuna said quickly, raising his voice to match his status. "A guest"
Kenjaku seemed awfully amused by that. "Guest?" he echoed, smiling.
"His family runs this lighthouse" he explained. "They took care of my injuries, and I'd hope to return the favour"
Kenjaku turned his head sideways, watching the scene. Choso, slumped forward with one hand to Sukuna's shoulder, trying his best to stay upright despite the blood quickly leaving him. And his once loyal commander, holding on to the boy in a way that suggested he actually cared.
"This boy wears the wrong colours" Kenjaku mused, fascinated.
"And still they allowed me to stay" Sukuna argued.
Kenjaku sighed, seeming to grow annoyed now. "So it is as Kento told" he shook his head. So his fellow men were still alive, it seemed. "Fine. Have the medics tend to him"
"Thank you, my King" Sukuna did a small courtesy, and the other man finally seemed to approve.
"You seem to have grown sentimental, Sukuna" he taunted. "Go clear the rest of them"
Sukuna nodded, looking ahead to the other soldiers still scattered around the battlefield they had made of your home.
He didn't have a choice.
Your hands were shaking where they gripped the blanket, hiding in the corner where Sukuna had left you. You felt useless. Uterly, completely useless, hiding like a scared child instead of searching for the people you loved.
What if none of them ever returned?
What if you were lost in here forever, or worse β found by someone who wasn't them?
In the darkness of this room, it was impossible to not let your mind wander. Every possible scenario to explain the loud sounds outside the door, every horrible thing to excuse the fact Sukuna had been gone for so long.
You hated it. This space was suffocating, and your imagination was even worse. All you could do was say your prayers, to whoever may listen, and wait.
Wait.
Until you heard it.
A knock. Sharp as you had grown to expect. A voice calling your name.
You ran as fast as you could, unlocking the door with trembling hands, cursing at yourself for how you failed this simple task.
But when it finally swung open, Sukuna was standing there. Covered in sweat and dirt and stains of red you didn't want to look at, but alive.
That was all that mattered right now.
But even in this state, you threw yourself at him, sinking your face onto the crook of his neck where you noticed a fresh scratch that hadn't been there earlier. Sukuna was fast to catch you, hands immediately dropping his sword to the ground so he could bring them to your middle and pull you in close, breathing in your scent.
Alive, the two of you exhaled the same thought.
"Did youβ" you started.
"They're safe"
"All of them?"
"All of them" Sukuna confirmed.
You didn't even know what emotion was the strongest then. Relief? Gratitude? These seemed like such thin words to describe the weight of how you felt. It was all coming in a rush, finally a light shining to ease the dread you had spent the last hours in.
"Thank you" you muttered, sinking your head on his chest now. "Thank you"
Sukuna pulled you in tight, so glad to see you here, so glad to see you safe. If only he could keep you right here in his arms forever β but he knew that was impossible. At one point, sooner or later, you would have to come face to face with the state his men had left your precious home.
"We⦠can't stay here" he whispered to you, a hand at the back of your head to keep you right where you were. "Will you come with me?"
"Where?" you asked, already knowing what your answer would be.
Sukuna exhaled sharply through his nose, trying to figure out the best way to start. "We'll be regrouping near Kenjaku's castle" he explained. "He assured there would be a room for us, and your family too"
Maybe the good news would hold your focus, but Sukuna always knew you were too astute for that.
"Regrouping?" you echoed, lifting your head. "Do you meanβ"
"Yes" Sukuna nodded, seeing the understanding start to turn behind your eyes.
"They attacked my home" you stated, a fact you were begging him to deny.
"They attacked the loyalists" Sukuna explained, knowing it wouldn't make it much better. "They were the ones who wanted to use the lighthouse as base"
You did seem to consider what he was saying, though your heart was heavy. "I don't want to be near them" you shook your head, sinking into Sukuna again. "I want to stay here"
Sukuna left a kiss to the top of your head, fearing the news he had to give. "You can't"
"Why?" your voice came out muffled against his chest, making this even harder.
Sukuna didn't know how to answer you. How could he tell you your childhood home, the place you loved, had been left to burn?
"Why?" you asked again, and again he couldn't tell you. He saw you look up at him with anger and fear all over your beautiful face, and push past his shoulder to move him out of the way.
Sukuna stepped to the side, allowing you to see the waste that lay ahead of you. He had expected you to collapse like you had earlier β but it seemed you were far beyond grief at this point.
Your hands balled into fists, your breathing stopped. "Who did this?" you tried to say, though your voice came out raspy and tight.
Sukuna sighed, bringing you back to him. "I don't know" was all he could say, as you allowed your head to be brought to his chest again. You weren't ready to look at it just yet.
"My family is safe?" you asked, with all the remaining strength you could muster.
"Yes" Sukuna confirmed.
"And they will come too?"
"Of course"
"Fine" you huffed. "Take us to your camp"
Your venom and resentment was dripping from every word, but your hand still reached for Sukuna's when he guided you out the door.
Being forced to face the aftermath was never something Sukuna enjoyed. Before he could have dismissed it and turned a blind eye β but it was impossible to do so when the person walking through the wreckage of their home was someone he cared about.
You didn't scream or sob once you saw it, but that was almost worse. It was like all fight had just left you.
Sukuna didn't know a way he could make this better, not when it was his men that caused this.
"Don't look" he warned you as he helped you up on a horse, but you didn't listen. As much as it hurt, you wanted to see all of it. Had to.
You didn't speak for the whole ride. Not when Sukuna sat you between his thighs, with one of his arms protectively holding on to your middle to keep you close, nor when you stopped to get some rest.
You curled against him in the night, and feeling your warmth brought him some comfort, but you couldn't reciprocate it. Everything about you had gone stiff.
The only time he saw you show some emotion was days later, when you finally made it to camp and requested to be guided to the medical tent where your family rested. Sukuna saw you fall in front of your brother, and Choso's arms close around your back even though he was the one laying on the stretcher. He saw your father place a hand to your shoulder to calm your tears, and the two little ones rush to your side.
And then he left.
Sukuna didn't feel like he was allowed to watch such a scene, when he had been the one to bring destruction into your life. Cursed, he spat on the floor, reminding himself of his condition.
He had done his duty, kept you all safe, bargained in your favour β perhaps it was time to let you go.
What a fool he was to think he could ever do that.
"It's good to see you're well" someone said amidst the busy voices at camp, a tone far gentler than Sukuna would expect.
He turned his chin up to see Kento walking towards him, armour still on after the battle. It was nice to see him, but Sukuna couldn't find any words to respond, settling with a short nod instead.
"I am sorry about the lighthouse" his friend said solemnly, coming to stand next to Sukuna. "Is she in there?"
He wanted to huff and spit in reply β how sorry could he be if he was one of it's attackers? But Sukuna knew better, and Kento was but a soldier. Not someone who could have prevented this; no, the only person who probably could have was Sukuna himself.
"Yes" he replied, hands deep in his pockets as he looked at the rocky floor below. Sukuna had grown accustomed to the distant sound of crashing waves, and their lack was extremely loud right now.
"How areβ"
"They're alive" he cut in. Kento nodded, satisfied with the answer.
"I heard her brother is in there" he continued, voice low and meant only for Sukuna. He didn't need to complete the thought for Sukuna to understand what he meant β no doubt treating Choso wasn't just a show of mercy from Kenjaku.
"He's not of rank" Sukuna groaned. "Just a boy playing at war"
"I know" Kento agreed. "I'll doubt that'll stop them getting any information they can out of him"
Sukuna finally kicked the stone he had been staring at, sending it rippling across the field. Of course nothing was every easy. "I'll ask for an audience" he decided, turning around to face his friend fully.
Kento nodded, trying not to linger on the subject. The two men stood side by side, taking in the movement all around them β such an odd thing, when the world seemed at a standstill.
"How are the others?" Sukuna muttered.
"Alive" Kento answered. "And well, too"
"Hm" Sukuna exhaled, the best he could do.
"Naoya is dead" Kento continued. "I trust that is good news to you"
"It is" Sukuna crossed his arms, remembering the reason he had sent the boy to his death in the first place.
"There were search parties when they found his body" Kento explained. "That's when they found us, too"
"That so?"
"We explained what happened" he continued. "Convinced them the lighthouse wasn't worth searching, that you were recovering there"
Sukuna rolled his eyes, all this seeming like part of a life he had half forgotten already. He didn't care for Naoya or Kenjaku or strategy β the only thing he cared about was in the tent right behind him, crying.
Because of the men standing all around.
His men.
"You attacked it anyway" Sukuna spat.
"The enemy forced our hand" Kento explained solemnly.
He knew it was true.
"Sukuna?" another voice called, and he was glad to see Toji standing above them, that scarred lip almost forming a smile. But he extended a piece of parchment, with lettering he recognised too well. "Kenjaku wants to see you" he explained.
Sukuna grunted but nodded, scrunching the invitation into his pocket. But just as he started to move, Toji stopped him again, nodding to the tent Sukuna had been guarding.
"Her too"
"So" Kenjaku started,sitting upon his throne with all the arrogance of a King and the dignity of a street urchin. Sukuna hated the man, hated his sense of self importance and how he saw people as pieces on a game board. And what Sukuna hated more than anything β was the way he was looking at you right now.
"My most precious commander disappears in the middle of war" he continued, chin resting on his knuckles. "And comes back with an enemy, two children, and old man, and⦠Pardon me, miss, I don't think we are acquainted"
He had that pompous smile dancing across his lips as he addressed you, waiting with all the patience in the world just to see how you were going to respond. Sukuna stood with his body half covering yours, but he could just about see how tense you looked behind him, your hands grasped together to hide their sweat.
Sukuna's fingers twitched, earning to grasp yours, but he only held his hand close. He knew how unpredictable his King could be. Especially in a room surrounded by soldiers in armour, closing in on you both like this was a criminal trial instead of a celebratory reunion.
"Well?" Kenjaku pressed on.
"She's with me" Sukuna snapped before you could give him your name, tone territorial as his body stepped to fully cover you. Gratitude swam in your chest, but it wasn't enough to calm your fears just yet.
"By the gods, Sukuna" Kenjaku laughed, throwing his head back in delight. "There is no need for such jealousy, my friend"
Sukuna huffed, rolling his shoulders back. "It is me who must atone" Sukuna reasoned. "Let her go and rest"
"Oh, you will atone" the king responded, leaning back into his seat. "But right now⦠I am curious"
Sukuna remained quiet. He should have known better, should have expected the whole camp would be talking about his disappearance and the woman he insisted on guarding since.
If there was one thing Kenjaku enjoyed, was knowing people's weaknesses. Ally or otherwise.
"It is rude not to introduce yourself" he challenged, and Sukuna heard your breathing hitch behind him.
"She has been through enough" Sukuna argued.
And it was true.
You had, and he blamed himself for it.
And now here he had gone and trapped you into another viper's nest.
"Explain, then" he rolled his eyes. "Since this girl seems to be mute"
Sukuna inhaled deeply, considering his words very carefully. It took everything in him to not attack this king right there, just for the way he spoke of you. But he knew he had to be careful here.
"They tended to my wounds" he explained.
"And now you ask to drag them to my camp?" Kenjaku rose an eyebrow. "Quite the odd payment"
"Their home was destroyed" Sukuna argued through gritted teeth.
"The price of war" his king waved a hand. "Quite a shame"
The whole room felt suffocating with the dozens of stares β he knew other people were scared of him, but they seemed even more fascinated by you. By this woman who had the fearsome Sukuna acting like a sworn shield.
He was ready to fight each and every one of them if he had to, but before he could speak again, he heard your voice coming from behind him, your name leaving your lips.
Kenjaku finally seemed terribly amused.
You had stepped fully next to Sukuna now, lowering yourself in a small reverence. Sukuna should have expected it β you were as brave as you were foolish. "It's an honour to make your acquaintance, my King" you said, voice still shaking at the edges, but these were the first words Sukuna had heard from you in days.
And for that, he was relieved.
"So she can speak" Kenjaku hummed, delighted. "Maybe you will give me some explanation, since my knight has forgotten himself"
Sukuna swallowed thickly, his jaw clicking as he tensed it. He knew you were intelligent, but you didn't know Kenjaku like he did.
"I know nothing of war, my liege" you continued. "My family controls the lighthouse, or, controlled" you corrected yourself, pain dripping from each word.
"Yes, so I hear" he squinted his eyes at you. "A base for the enemy, and yet you call me King"
Sukuna was ready to intervene, but you continued. "I know nothing of that, my liege" you said, composed. "My brother has fought for the other side, it's true, but has since recognised the error of his ways andβ"
"Please, girl, there's no need for deception" Kenjaku waved you off with his hand, opening another smile as he relaxed onto his chair. "I know all about your traitorous brother"
"Heβ"
"He's helped me" Sukuna interrupted you now, as soon as he heard the tears starting to form through your voice. Your head snapped to him, eyes wide and terrified, like Sukuna was hope personified. "Choso betrayed his men for our cause"
Kenjaku seemed annoyed now that Sukuna had joined the conversation again, his lips pursing sideways as his finger tips tapped the hand rests. "Why?"
Sukuna swallowed, your eyes on him burning more than all the others. "He's recognised the pretender for what he is"
Kenjaku was still not satisfied, seeing trough Sukuna's shameless flattery far too easily. He only scoffed, and kept waiting, giving him time to come up with the truth or a more convincing lie.
What the hell was Sukuna supposed to say?
Because I love her? They'd find it ridiculous.
But he didn't have any other explanation.
"My King" Sukuna knelt fully, the greatest show of respect. "I have done much for you, I only ask one thingβ spare them"
This action alone seemed to please him, however. "I can't remember the last time you've knelt, Sukuna" Kenjaku laughed, one eyebrow perched up on his forehead. "Is this whore really worth it?"
Sukuna kept his eyes on the floor, knowing Kenjaku was just trying to taunt him. To get a reaction. And he hated that it was working.
"You left, Sukuna, and now you ask for mercy?" Kenjaku continued when it became clear Sukuna wouldn't. "I should kill her right now to show you respect"
Sukuna snapped into action as soon as the words left his Kings lips, standing up just as two men in armour stepped in to hold you by the arms. For the first time, Sukuna could see your face fully β scared, terrified.
"Fucking touch her again and I'll kill you" Sukuna threatened, sword already unsheathed, and at the very least you did feel the two men loosen their grip.
But still, you looked at Sukuna with wide eyes that screamed for help, but this wasn't a fight the two of you could win with strength alone, not when you were surrounded like this.
You had to think, and you had to think fast.
"Stop" you yelled, forcing them all to listen. "I am with child"
At that, the whole room came to a halt.
Sukuna hoped no one would notice how he looked at you so utterly confused, his thick brows squinting together before his brain understood what you were doing. The two men had let go of your arms, looking to Kenjaku for instructions.
But all he did was let out a very, very long laugh, that reverberated through the whole hall.
"So that's what this is about?" he continued, enjoying this far too much. "I thought you were smarter than to sire bastards, Sukuna" he laughed.
"Not a bastard" he replied, embarrassed at how that obvious lie had made him feel inside.
"Oh" Kenjaku hummed. "Has my commander fallen in love?" he mocked.
Sukuna swallowed thickly, but held your gaze as he gave his final word. "Yes" he confirmed.
He thought he saw a small smile try to tug at your lips, the first one in a long while.
"How touching. Fine" his King sighed, sounding utterly bored now. With nothing but a wave of his hand, he dismissed the men around you. "Guards, show them their room. I won't harm your family βΒ yet. But they'll stay here"
"T-Thank you, my lord" you tried to say.
"And Sukuna" Kenjaku completed, as you both turned to leave. "I hope to see you at camp soon enough"
"Are you mad?!" Sukuna flew to your side as soon as the household guard shut the door behind him, the large bedroom greeting the two of you. He didn't bother looking around, no, all he cared about was bringing you close, cupping your cheeks with his gruff hands.
You only laughed at his hurried embrace, resting your forehead on his. You were clearly proud of yourself, and Sukuna couldn't deny it β you were too smart for your own good.
Still, the biggest threat was dealt with. For now.
"Don't I deserve some thanks, sir?" you teased, and Sukuna let out an annoyed tsk just above you.
"You fool" he huffed, lowering his hands to pull you into his chest. "You shouldn't have said anything, youβ"
"Did you mean it?" your voice interrupted him, so small he wasn't sure you had actually meant for him to hear it. Maybe you weren't sure either.
So Sukuna pulled you back just a little, lowering his head so it was closer to yours. "What?"
"You have fallen in love?"
Sukuna's shoulders tensed, his fingers digging into your sides. The question was preposterous, as surely everyone would agree. There should be no such thing as love for someone like him β he wanted to protest it, deny it, claim you were too good for such a man.
But he didn't.
"Yes" Sukuna admitted, the word falling off his lips far easier than he would have ever expected.
What was the point in denying it now?
Maybe this would have been his biggest act of selfishness, but the beautiful smile forming on your lips made him not care.
"Do you mean that?" you whispered, and he hooked his finger under your chin to force you to face him.
"Yes" Sukuna repeated.
He wasn't good with words, so he proved it to you the best way he could. A slow kiss, warm and tender, one he hoped would prove to you how terrified he was of losing you.
Even the fight being over did nothing to calm Sukuna's anxieties on the matter. For the days ride you had barely exchanged a word, and Sukuna had feared you had finally seen him for what he truly was, and shut off your heart completely.
There were no words to explain his happiness when you reciprocated the kiss, leaning into him with enough force to prove your devotion.
Life could be so easy if it was always like this. Of course, that was rarely ever the case.
"We are not out of danger yet" Sukuna broke the kiss, thumb brushing the skin of your stomach as he remembered how your cunning had saved you both. "They'll know you weren't telling the truth in a matter of weeks"
"Then make it true"
"β¦What?"
Was it just him, or had time stopped for a second?
You brought your hand to rest on top of his, pressing him ever so slightly into your flesh. Your eyes stared at his behind long eyelashes, your face the happiest it had looked in days.
"Make it true" you repeated, mouth just inches from his.
Somehow, you had left the powerful Sukuna speechless. Perhaps you weren't just cunning β maybe you were a witch too. A sea witch, come to steal his heart that night he had thought you an angel.
"You are betrothed" he reasoned, more to himself than to you.
"I don't want to marry a lord I've never met" you replied, steadfast. "I want to marry you"
Did Sukuna ever fathom he'd hear these words?
Maybe he had been killed in battle, and this was heaven.
"You don't know what you're saying" he whispered, though his fingers were tensing, digging into your flesh. Gods, you made this so hard for him.
"I do" you swallowed, bringing your hands to his pink strands now. "You saved us"
That made him pause.
This whole time, Sukuna had been chastising himself for all that had happened, believing you blamed him too.
He would have never suspected you were grateful.
"My family is alive because of you" you kept saying, tears starting to stream down your face. "I am alive because of you"
There was a knot the size of a rock inside Sukuna's throat, keeping him silent as he heard you say the most meaningful words you could have to him.
"You kept your promise" you smiled, even amidst the tears.
Sukuna pulled you close, resting your forehead to yours again. "I couldn't live with myself otherwise" he confessed.
"I don't want you to leave me again" you cried. "I want you to make me yours"
Sukuna couldn't help a scoff, a hand pulling the back of your head to him as he adorned a mesmerised smile.
"You are already mine"
And with that, his lips were on yours again. Restless, inevitable, all consuming β a kiss that was like a ship sinking into the ocean, slowly accepting the truth that couldn't be avoided anymore.
For Sukuna's smug words, he knew he had been yours far before you had been his. From that first night, when you saved him. And saved him again and again and again.
Made him believe there was more he could be.
"Sukunaβ" you whispered his name, throwing your neck backwards as he leaned down to explore the flesh there, leaving open mouth kisses all over. One of his large hands had traveled to your thigh, pulling it against him, holding you upright so that you didn't have to.
So that you could just give in to all the pleasure he wanted to give you.
This was mad, he realised. But the whole world had already gone mad way before this.
"Sukuna" you moaned again, hand pulling strands of his pink hair, his lips coming lower to your collarbones.
He exhaled, biting your shoulder playfully. "If you keep saying my name like that" he panted. "I won't be able to stop"
"Don't stop" you pleaded, nails leaving small half moon marks on his skin.
With far too much ease, Sukuna lifted you up and carried you to the mattress in the centre of the room. He lowered you down, gently, making sure there was a pillow behind your head and your clothes weren't all askew.
You were nervous, feeling your heart hammering inside your chest and an unfamiliar heat pooling between your legs. You had never been touched like this before, had never expected you would have begged for someone like this.
Sukuna's gruff hands were gentle as they caressed your flesh, tenderly squeezing your legs as he started pulling the fabric of your dress to your waist. You had read about this in books, thought you had some idea as to what expect.
But then Sukuna stood up, and you were utterly confused.
You pushed yourself up on your elbows, squinting at him for just long enough to see him grab you by the ankles, pulling you all the way to the edge of the mattress.
Your brows were completely knitted together as you saw him sink to his knees, a very amused grin visible on his lips before they disappeared.
Disappeared, and⦠touched you somewhere very unexpected.
"Wh-what are you doing?!" you yelped as his head sunk between your thighs, feeling an odd mix of pleasure and shame as soon as what was certainly his tongue had touched you in the most intimate of places.
Sukuna didn't bother explaining, because he knew you'd understand soon enough.
Two of his hands closed your thighs around his head, forcing them shut between his head. How was he breathing?! you thought, but all thoughts suddenly started fading away. "Oh" you moaned, back arching off the bed.
None of the books said anything about that.
"Stay still" he grunted between your legs, but you could have sworn he was laughing. It was, in fact, impossible to remain still, when Sukuna was so good at being so depraved β his tongue alone making you see stars as he kept drinking from you like you were the finest wine.
Your body acted like it wanted to run away from him, but your mind wanted nothing more than to stay right there. It was an odd thing, how he made you so sensitive you felt like you had no control, like your body was just acting on it's own and squeezing and tensing and gasping and then⦠Soaring, far above the sky.
A feeling like nothing you had ever felt before, washing all over you like the sun coming out after a storm.
The books didn't tell you about that, either.
You blinked slowly, completely lost in a daze as you saw Sukuna climb on top of you, his face a wet mess. Had you done that?
"Am I making you feel good?" he teased, right to your ear, and you felt yourself shiver all over again. How did he make you react like this, so easily?
"Y-yes" you replied, hypnotised by him. His smile was bright and smug when he brought his lips back down to yours, letting you feel your taste on his tongue, completely unashamed.
"Do you want to stop?" he asked between your lips. You only shook your head no.
That was all the confirmation he needed, before he started untying your dress, loosening the fabric all around your skin.
Instinctively, you brought your hands to hide yourself. You had never been seen like this before, and a million thoughts invaded your head. Would you be⦠sufficient? Would Sukuna think you beautiful? Would he be disappointed?
The man had just been between your legs, but the idea of being completely naked by candle light in front of the man you loved⦠it made you far tenser than you had ever expected.
You had read about how much a woman was expected to prepare before her wedding night, and now it was only just downing on you how impulsive this all had been. Should you have prepared more? Would you manage to please him at all?
What if you couldn't andβ
"Don't hide from me" Sukuna whispered, softly caressing the top of your hand where you held on to your breasts. The touch was so tender that you found yourself nodding, slowly lowering your hands despite the heat in your cheeks.
If you had any doubt about your adequacy, it was all gone when you saw Sukuna's face then.
You had seen him angry, scared, murderous. But you had never seen him quite soβ¦infatuated.
His mouth had fallen into a silent gasp, so completely focused on your naked form even the tattoos around his face seemed to soften. "You are beautiful" he whispered, testing how it would feel to slowly cup one of your breasts, watching for your reaction every step of the way.
You swallowed thickly, happiness mixing in with the anxiety. "I like this" you nodded to his hand, how it was exploring your flesh, the pad of his thumb just slowly rolling one of your nipples.
Sukuna watched you as you spoke, bringing his other hand to give the other equal attention. You completely lowered yourself down, enjoying how Sukuna palmed at your skin with his hands, quickly followed by his mouth as his touch grew more rough.
"Mmh" you hummed, thighs squeezing together like they had before as you felt that heat start to pool again. Sukuna was utterly focused on your chest, his tongue rolling each nipples and mouth leaving wet kisses all over you.
It was gentle, but firm, and it left you desperate for more. Your eyes blinked open in your lustful haze, realising he didn't match you in your nakedness. "I want to see you too" you whispered, bringing a hand to pull at his shirt, and you watched his crimson eyes follow yours.
Sukuna seemed to understand, begrudgingly pulling away from your chest to sit back on his heels, and start pulling the shirt over his head. It revealed his chiseled torso, the scar from the night you had met, and all the muscles decorated by years of exercise and years of criminality too.
You found everything about him beautiful.
Every painful mark that told a story you wanted to ask him about. Your hands followed every dark line that contrasted against his skin, adorning his beautiful frame, from his abdomen to his thigh.
It only occurred to you then, that he might have been as nervous as you to be naked together.
"You are beautiful too" you whispered, and you could have sworn the tips of his ears turned a light shade of red.
Sukuna shoved you back down onto the bed, mouth finding yours and hips settling between your thighs. You were quick to respond, your legs pulling you into him like they once had done on the lighthouse floor, on that day you had been so ready to give him everything.
Before it all had taken a turn, and life become a nightmare.
But Sukuna had rescued you from that.
Right now, you couldn't be happier in your decision.
"Tell me if it hurts" he commanded, and you felt something start to press against you. Ah, that the books had told you about.
You nodded, interlacing your fingers together with his. You had expected pain and discomfort, but there was nothing of the sorts when Sukuna slowly started to enter you, patiently taking his time to work you open.
Still, you were struggling to accommodate his size.
"Is this, um, normal?" you questioned, worrying again about him finding you inadequate. Was it possible you were built so wrong you could never do this in the first place?
But Sukuna laughed, and slowly, he let go of one of your hands to bring it lower, to where you were connected. The tips of his fingers seemed to find the bundle of nerves he had been exploring with his tongue earlier, softly taking it between his thumb and index, the sensation alone making your body jolt again.
"Relax for me" he kissed the side of your face, hips managing to sink into you just a little bit more as you tried to do as he asked.
You had never read of this technique he was employing, but you weren't opposed to it at all.
The pleasure slowly did make you relax, and little by little Sukuna's hips sunk deeper, finally entering you halfway. He grunted on top of you, clearly struggling to not lose composure as well, while you relished in the sensation of being so completely full.
You had always hoped to lose your maidenhood with someone you loved, and you had actually done it.
Sukuna had saved you from that as well.
"Beautiful" he kissed the side of your face, taking himself the last few inches into you before entering all the way. You let out a loud whimper when you felt his hips connect with yours, but soon they started moving, and suddenly all the fears were wiped away.
This felt good.
"Ohβ" you whimpered as Sukuna rolled his hips into you, pushing himself up just a little to watch your beautiful face as you took him for the first time.
You looked down to see where you were connected, mesmerized by the scene, but soon you looked up again β to his penetrating crimson eyes, and the handsome smile beneath them.
Sukuna had a trickle of sweat dripping from his forehead, threatening to fall on you, but you didn't care. You were happy to share everything with him, every fluid and sweat and every inch of you β what had once seemed so terrifying, now brought you nothing but pleasure.
Sukuna felt so right inside of you.
He enjoyed the way your eyes were turning to the back of your head, his fingers going back to massaging the bundle of nerves to make you feel even more electric. You clenched him and Sukuna responded with a groan, hips slamming faster and faster into you.
You loved this, loved him β loved how desperate he was to make you feel good.
Just as that odd sensation started to creep back up again, you pulled him by the shoulders to lay completely on top of you, almost crushing you under his weight, but you didn't care.
You wanted his mouth on yours when you felt that high again.
And like he had thought the same, you felt him jolt inside of you too, whole body tensing as something started to spill inside of you, along with your name echoing from Sukuna's lips.
What if you did become pregnant now, you found yourself wondering? There would be no need to tell more lies, then.
But you were happy to keep trying anyway, just to be safe β of course.
There was so much still left to do. So much left to consider.
But right now, you deserved this little bit of peace. To be held in your lover's embrace, to be touched by hands that worshiped you. By the man who you trusted to keep you and your loved ones safe.
And all else could wait.
β§ a/n this chapter was so much fun i really hope you enjoyyy!! i love these two so much. part of me actually wants to add an extra chapter but we shall see.... excited to hear your thoughts <33
β§ summary the kingdom has sunk into a violent civil war, and you and your family, the lighthouse keepers, tried your best to stay out of it. that is until a group of rebels show up injured on your doorstep, begging for shelter you can't refuse.
β§ content mdni!; historical au; angst; smut; fluff too; alternating pov; blood and injury; violence; fights; death; blood; threats; reader dissociates; implied sexual threat (non-graphic); protective sukuna; love confessions; making out; kissing; virginity loss; oral (f receiving); piv sex; body worship; complex dynamics; slow burn; enemies to lovers sort of; mutual pining; hurt and comfort; yearning; dark themes
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chapter 8: shipwreck
wc: 9.1k
"Look at me"
Sukuna's voice was reaching your ears, but the words seemed to get lost to the wind before you could even attempt to grasp them. Even when he tried calling your name, it sounded⦠strange. Unfamiliar. Like it should belong to someone you used to know, or maybe, someone you weren't anymore.
"Hey"
And Sukuna's tone could never be described as kind, but there was an uncharacteristic softness to how he tried to reach you. A raspiness that suggested he was just as scared as you were.
You didn't want him to be scared.
But you simply could not reach him right now.
"Can you stand?"
You were sure he was kneeling right next to you, but you had gone somewhere else.
Your eyes had completely disconnected from the real world ahead, focusing on whatever you could to steal you away from the nightmare next to you. Right now, that safe beacon was the moon β casting it's beautiful glow above the lighthouse.
It was night already.
Wasn't Sukuna meant to leave at nightfall?
Your memories were hazy, your thoughts scattered, but your eyes were focused β on the brightness up above, and how it illuminated the darkness all around.
"I need you to stand"
You didn't want to.
Because if you brought your eyes back, you'd see it again β your red hands. Sukuna's red hands.
The corpses lying next to you.
Was it so wrong to look somewhere else?
Your body had practically given out already, every nerve ending numb and your stomach completely emptied, the stench of it's contents making a vile mix with the blood that stained your clothes.
You didn't want to, but your face was unceremoniously moved away from the safety of the moon's glow, and turned towards another beautiful vision β Sukuna's eyes, so red and sharp, casting an even brighter light as the fire of the beacon shone within them, consuming you whole.
You could feel it now; how he had two large palms cupping your cheeks. You could somewhat feel how his fingers dug into your cheeks, but it was a faint sensation more than anything. Your body didn't exactly feel yours anymore, just a sack of meat and bones that you were vaguely aware of.
"Tch" you saw Sukuna grimace. Was he unhappy with you? Had you done something?
You wanted to reach your hand to him, but it didn't move. Wanted to apologise for whatever it was, but the words didn't leave your lips. You tasted salt, but it wasn't seawater β maybe you were crying. Was that why he wasn't happy?
While your brain tried to make sense of this dreadful world around you, it suddenly shifted completely. Sukuna hooked an arm under your legs and another on your back, and lifted you up with ease.
Your head danced as you struggled to focus your eyes again, looking at everything from above now, in Sukuna's embrace.
And there, you saw it.
The boy you had killed.
Everything became too real again, too fast.
"Sukunaβ" you cried, digging your nails onto his shoulders, turning to hide your face in his chest. If everything had gone numb for a few seconds, now it was like being electrocuted back to reality.
"You're ok" he said, but you felt him exhale. Clearly he was glad you had seemed to come back to yourself⦠even if you weren't.
Words still were stuck in your throat, and all you could do was hide into him, concealing your eyes in his broad frame. Sukuna carried you down the steps, taking you away from the horrific scene staining the lighthouse you loved.
But carried you where, exactly?
Because the further you went down, the closer you could hear it β sounds of struggle, of pain and violence. Battle cries and two many pairs of boots thumping on the ground nearby.
It was never this loud around here.
"What's happening?" you asked, all focus shifting. Choso had said earlier that the lighthouse would be used as a base β is this what it was?
Why did it sound like fighting, though?
Was there fighting?
Was your family safe?
"I need to find Choso" you said immediately, attempting to leave Sukuna's arms, but his grip only tightened. "My brothers, I need toβ"
"No" Sukuna grunted, tone final and sharp. "I'm keeping you safe"
It took you a second too long to understand the words fully.
But when you finally did, you started thrashing around, kicking and pushing and trying to get away from the man who held you. "I'm finding them" you protested, but Sukuna only let out a long sigh, turning you around so you could face him fully.
"Listen to me" he said, and his tone was so calm, so soft, that it did make you stop. "I'll find them, but I can't do that if I'm worried about you"
Something about how he looked at you⦠you believed him. Trusted him completely. The only thing that brought you a sliver of reassurance in this moment were his crimson eyes.
What in hell were you even supposed to do, when the world was crashing down all around you?
So you didn't resume the struggle, just let him hold you. Being alone terrified you, having Sukuna join in the middle of whatever battle terrified you, and not knowing where your family was terrified you more than anything.
But the way Sukuna looked at you⦠he seemed to understand.
He softly lowered you down, your feet touching the ground with a gentleness that wasn't expected from a situation like this. You used his arms to steady yourself, until you were sure you could stand up on your own.
You knew the lighthouse meant safety; but right now this room you knew so well felt cold and dark and full of ghosts.
"I'm scared" you admitted, refusing to let go of your grip on his forearm. Your hands were shaking, you realised.
And Sukuna noticed it too, taking the opportunity to place his palm on top of yours, pressing it ever so slightly to his warm skin. "I know" he murmured, thumb brushing over the back of your hand. "I promised I'd come for you, didn't I?"
You wanted to protest, but every word was lost to the wind when Sukuna came down to seal his promise with a kiss. You seem to relax under his touch, even just a little, but really, Sukuna's reasoning had been selfish β he simply couldn't bear to hear your voice break when you begged him to let you join again.
Even right now, feeling you shake and cling to him, it hurt more than a dagger to his back.
His hand left yours to cup your cheek, his other interlacing your fingers together. You felt so small under him, so fragile. Sukuna would have rather taken you far away, away from all of this, but he knew you'd never leave your family behind.
In an odd way for someone like him, he also wanted to protect them.
And that meant keeping you safe so he could do that. But it pained him to leave you in here just as much as it pained you to stay.
The kiss was tender, lingering for as long as you both could in the situation you found yourselves in. You were terrified it would be your last, and Sukuna would never let it show that he was just as scared.
When he tried to pull away, you couldn't bear to let him go.
"I can fight" you tried to say, as Sukuna took a blanket and placed it over your shoulders.
"I don't want you to" he replied, helping you sit on the corner, hidden among the furniture.
He had seen how you looked upstairs, when he failed to protect you. Sukuna could deal with that guilt later, but right now the one thing he was certain of was that he'd never allow you to be in that situation again.
And he saw how you suddenly looked both relieved and more worried at his words. "They would have sent my brothers to the beach" your brain started trying to map out every possible scenario, trying to hold on to him again. "There are caves to hide down there, they know it wellβ"
"I'll find them" Sukuna reassured again, taking your hands to his lips for a short kiss, and placing them gently back on your lap.
"There are boats, too, maybe they would haveβ" you kept saying as he readied himself.
"You have the key?" Sukuna interrupted. He had one hand already on the doorknob, looking over his shoulder to wait for your nod. "Lock the door as soon as I leave"
It was all you could do.
Sukuna hadn't expected to be back in this hell so soon.
He was foolish enough to allow himself to dream these past few weeks. To hope for a life that could be gentle, maybe even shared with someone else, the only person in this forsaken world that didn't see him as a killer and nothing more.
Stupid. This was all it ever came down to, and he should have know better.
As soon as he was out of the lighthouse, he was greeted by a very familiar scene. Men running, men crying, men strewn along the floor as the smell of their blood mixed with the sea salt in the air.
He didn't want you to see this, what war actually looked like. What it had done to your home.
He waited for the click of the door locking behind him, finally letting out a long exhale. His body struggled to move, picturing how you might look on the other side β were you still there, saying a silent prayer with your forehead to the frame? Were you crying again?
He hated this, but he had to move. Because this one time was indeed different; he wasn't fighting for the sake of it anymore.
Right now, he had a promise to keep.
Find your family. Keep you safe.
He could only hope you wouldn't do something stupid, but Sukuna tried to keep that possibility as far away from his mind as he could as he left you, and dove deeper into hell.
The first man who tried to charge him didn't even get a chance to fully lift his sword. Sukuna's blade had already slashed him across the middle, a movement as effortless as walking.
Fighting was second nature to him.
And Sukuna didn't want you to see that either.
Another soldier, even more stupid this time. The poor boy tried to turn around when he realised who he was facing, but Sukuna was fast.
Another one down.
Would you have been as disgusted by him as you were with yourself?
As Sukuna slashed through his enemies, all he could think about was how you had looked when that man was bleeding all over you. You were too fucking good for this world, too fucking good for him.
He wanted to protect you more than anything, and right now he was doing an awful job at that. Wasn't there when you needed him most earlier, and abandoned you to cry all alone in a room that probably had blood dripping through the ceiling's floorboards.
The least he could do was find your family.
But Sukuna recognised these uniforms, and he knew there were far more of his men than your brother's. The fighting seemed to have started not far from here, and the fact it had scattered to your home was just bad luck. Just what happened in war, when armies were forced to retreat.
The rebels must have learnt of the loyalist's plan to set camp up near the lighthouse, and set up an ambush up the road. Seemed the most logical conclusion β it's what he would have done, after all.
Just an order he would have given without a second thought.
Right now, his thoughts were clouded with regrets.
Sukuna rushed past the sweaty men clinking their swords, more worried about his mission than serving in his master's fight. He followed another source of light, as bright as the beacon and the moon up above both β it was the roof of the main house, set ablaze.
Sukuna growled at that, hating to see your home caught up in this destruction. Hating how normal it felt, too.
It's just what happened in war.
Men fought. Homes burned. Women suffered.
That truth suddenly brought him to a halt, blood running cold. Don't do anything stupid, Sukuna prayed once more, hoping you would stay put where he had left you.
He had to find them, and fast. The faster he did, the faster he'd have you safe in his arms again.
His boot kicked the wooden door, making it rattle on its hinges as it struggled to stay connected. The fire was hot above his head but Sukuna didn't care, looking in the most obvious place first and foremost.
"Choso?" he called, the name uncomfortable in his mouth. Sukuna kept moving through, using his elbow to hide his face in amidst the smoke, kicking every door as fast as he could.
He hated seeing your home caught up in flames like this. The dining table; where he had first taken a good luck at your beautiful face. His angel, come to save him. The room where you had stitched him together. Your room.
All gone.
Sukuna didn't know who was responsible for the fire, but they'd pay for it. He'd make sure of it.
But most importantly of all though, was the fact the space was empty.
No one was here.
There were signs that a fight had taken place, and your father's sword wasn't anywhere to be seen. Sukuna hoped they would have been smart and left, but he knew your family was as stubborn as you were.
Finally, he noticed the door all the way at the back β open, flailing in the wind. He rushed there, remembering the path behind the house where they would have certainly escaped from.
He didn't know if it would lead to anything, but it was the best clue he had.
Sukuna rushed through, coughing with the smoke, feeling the heat burn the hairs at the back of his neck, but determined to complete his mission.
Finally, he saw someone he recognised.
Sukuna had seen your brother fight before, and Choso had been talented then. But seeing how he fought to defend his home β it was more than that. Choso moved like an animal; bleeding and sweating but still going, slashing across another man as another two rushed to join the fight.
There were already three corpses at his feet, all in rebel colours. How long had he been fighting on his own?
Well, he wouldn't be anymore.
Sukuna ran towards him, his sword intercepting a blow that would have come right for your brother's neck if he hadn't been so fast.
"Sukuna?" Choso's eyes grew wide as he turned around to see who had helped him.
And he wasn't the only one β the other two men seemed utterly confused by Sukuna's interruption. They exchanged a look, unsure of what to do now that their commander had joined the frayβ¦ but on the other side.
"Focus" Sukuna said to Choso, effortlessly turning his sword around to slash the men's head clean off.
The other rebel looked terrified, motioning to run backwards before Choso ceased the opportunity to sink his blade into the man's middle, aiming it diagonally upwards towards his heart.
A clean cut, a fast death. As merciful as one could be in times like this.
Sukuna would have scoffed if it didn't remind him so much of you.
"Where areβ" he started to say, but Choso was falling forwards fast as soon as the other man's body hit the ground.
Sukuna grabbed him by the shoulders, trying to keep him upright. "You're injured?" he asked, feeling the pain of his guilt only grow. If he had been too lateβ
"No" Choso panted, struggling to keep his breath in. Sukuna didn't believe him, but he knew what adrenaline could do to a man. "Is my sisterβ"
"She's safe" Sukuna reassured, and Choso breathed a little easier.
"Whereβ"
"Safe" Sukuna repeated. "Where are the others?"
"The beach" Choso tried to say, and Sukuna smiled at how well you knew your family. "My father can protect them, but if the soldiers are already downβ"
"I'll go" Sukuna decided. "Go to the lighthouse, she'sβ"
"What? No" Choso protested, trying to find his footing though it was clearly a struggle. "I need to keep fighting"
Sukuna rolled his eyes, helping his old rival to stand once again. Only then he noticed the red staining Choso's shirt, right on his side. Not fatal, he hoped. A comical thought to have about someone he himself had tried to kill not too long ago.
But it explained why Choso looked so pale.
"You're as stubborn as your sister" Sukuna huffed, forearm to Choso's chest to keep him upright.
A rare smile tugged at the corner of his lips. "Thanks" Choso chuckled dryly.
"Point me to where they are, I'll goβ"
"Sukuna?"
The familiar voice snapped both their heads sideways, to the tall man atop the horse, tall above everyone else. His long hair flew in the wind, his heavy armour glistening in the light of the fire behind him. No one else had been dressed quite so flashy for this honourless ambush, but Sukuna didn't even need to look to know who it was.
He would have recognised that unsettling tone anywhere.
"How rude to join once the fight is already won" Kenjaku laughed, as if his clean armour didn't suggest just the same.
Sukuna gritted his teeth, angry. He was the last man he expected to see here, and the last one he hoped to too.
"And who is this?" his king continued. "Didn't know you to take prisoners"
"Not a prisoner" Sukuna said quickly, raising his voice to match his status. "A guest"
Kenjaku seemed awfully amused by that. "Guest?" he echoed, smiling.
"His family runs this lighthouse" he explained. "They took care of my injuries, and I'd hope to return the favour"
Kenjaku turned his head sideways, watching the scene. Choso, slumped forward with one hand to Sukuna's shoulder, trying his best to stay upright despite the blood quickly leaving him. And his once loyal commander, holding on to the boy in a way that suggested he actually cared.
"This boy wears the wrong colours" Kenjaku mused, fascinated.
"And still they allowed me to stay" Sukuna argued.
Kenjaku sighed, seeming to grow annoyed now. "So it is as Kento told" he shook his head. So his fellow men were still alive, it seemed. "Fine. Have the medics tend to him"
"Thank you, my King" Sukuna did a small courtesy, and the other man finally seemed to approve.
"You seem to have grown sentimental, Sukuna" he taunted. "Go clear the rest of them"
Sukuna nodded, looking ahead to the other soldiers still scattered around the battlefield they had made of your home.
He didn't have a choice.
Your hands were shaking where they gripped the blanket, hiding in the corner where Sukuna had left you. You felt useless. Uterly, completely useless, hiding like a scared child instead of searching for the people you loved.
What if none of them ever returned?
What if you were lost in here forever, or worse β found by someone who wasn't them?
In the darkness of this room, it was impossible to not let your mind wander. Every possible scenario to explain the loud sounds outside the door, every horrible thing to excuse the fact Sukuna had been gone for so long.
You hated it. This space was suffocating, and your imagination was even worse. All you could do was say your prayers, to whoever may listen, and wait.
Wait.
Until you heard it.
A knock. Sharp as you had grown to expect. A voice calling your name.
You ran as fast as you could, unlocking the door with trembling hands, cursing at yourself for how you failed this simple task.
But when it finally swung open, Sukuna was standing there. Covered in sweat and dirt and stains of red you didn't want to look at, but alive.
That was all that mattered right now.
But even in this state, you threw yourself at him, sinking your face onto the crook of his neck where you noticed a fresh scratch that hadn't been there earlier. Sukuna was fast to catch you, hands immediately dropping his sword to the ground so he could bring them to your middle and pull you in close, breathing in your scent.
Alive, the two of you exhaled the same thought.
"Did youβ" you started.
"They're safe"
"All of them?"
"All of them" Sukuna confirmed.
You didn't even know what emotion was the strongest then. Relief? Gratitude? These seemed like such thin words to describe the weight of how you felt. It was all coming in a rush, finally a light shining to ease the dread you had spent the last hours in.
"Thank you" you muttered, sinking your head on his chest now. "Thank you"
Sukuna pulled you in tight, so glad to see you here, so glad to see you safe. If only he could keep you right here in his arms forever β but he knew that was impossible. At one point, sooner or later, you would have to come face to face with the state his men had left your precious home.
"We⦠can't stay here" he whispered to you, a hand at the back of your head to keep you right where you were. "Will you come with me?"
"Where?" you asked, already knowing what your answer would be.
Sukuna exhaled sharply through his nose, trying to figure out the best way to start. "We'll be regrouping near Kenjaku's castle" he explained. "He assured there would be a room for us, and your family too"
Maybe the good news would hold your focus, but Sukuna always knew you were too astute for that.
"Regrouping?" you echoed, lifting your head. "Do you meanβ"
"Yes" Sukuna nodded, seeing the understanding start to turn behind your eyes.
"They attacked my home" you stated, a fact you were begging him to deny.
"They attacked the loyalists" Sukuna explained, knowing it wouldn't make it much better. "They were the ones who wanted to use the lighthouse as base"
You did seem to consider what he was saying, though your heart was heavy. "I don't want to be near them" you shook your head, sinking into Sukuna again. "I want to stay here"
Sukuna left a kiss to the top of your head, fearing the news he had to give. "You can't"
"Why?" your voice came out muffled against his chest, making this even harder.
Sukuna didn't know how to answer you. How could he tell you your childhood home, the place you loved, had been left to burn?
"Why?" you asked again, and again he couldn't tell you. He saw you look up at him with anger and fear all over your beautiful face, and push past his shoulder to move him out of the way.
Sukuna stepped to the side, allowing you to see the waste that lay ahead of you. He had expected you to collapse like you had earlier β but it seemed you were far beyond grief at this point.
Your hands balled into fists, your breathing stopped. "Who did this?" you tried to say, though your voice came out raspy and tight.
Sukuna sighed, bringing you back to him. "I don't know" was all he could say, as you allowed your head to be brought to his chest again. You weren't ready to look at it just yet.
"My family is safe?" you asked, with all the remaining strength you could muster.
"Yes" Sukuna confirmed.
"And they will come too?"
"Of course"
"Fine" you huffed. "Take us to your camp"
Your venom and resentment was dripping from every word, but your hand still reached for Sukuna's when he guided you out the door.
Being forced to face the aftermath was never something Sukuna enjoyed. Before he could have dismissed it and turned a blind eye β but it was impossible to do so when the person walking through the wreckage of their home was someone he cared about.
You didn't scream or sob once you saw it, but that was almost worse. It was like all fight had just left you.
Sukuna didn't know a way he could make this better, not when it was his men that caused this.
"Don't look" he warned you as he helped you up on a horse, but you didn't listen. As much as it hurt, you wanted to see all of it. Had to.
You didn't speak for the whole ride. Not when Sukuna sat you between his thighs, with one of his arms protectively holding on to your middle to keep you close, nor when you stopped to get some rest.
You curled against him in the night, and feeling your warmth brought him some comfort, but you couldn't reciprocate it. Everything about you had gone stiff.
The only time he saw you show some emotion was days later, when you finally made it to camp and requested to be guided to the medical tent where your family rested. Sukuna saw you fall in front of your brother, and Choso's arms close around your back even though he was the one laying on the stretcher. He saw your father place a hand to your shoulder to calm your tears, and the two little ones rush to your side.
And then he left.
Sukuna didn't feel like he was allowed to watch such a scene, when he had been the one to bring destruction into your life. Cursed, he spat on the floor, reminding himself of his condition.
He had done his duty, kept you all safe, bargained in your favour β perhaps it was time to let you go.
What a fool he was to think he could ever do that.
"It's good to see you're well" someone said amidst the busy voices at camp, a tone far gentler than Sukuna would expect.
He turned his chin up to see Kento walking towards him, armour still on after the battle. It was nice to see him, but Sukuna couldn't find any words to respond, settling with a short nod instead.
"I am sorry about the lighthouse" his friend said solemnly, coming to stand next to Sukuna. "Is she in there?"
He wanted to huff and spit in reply β how sorry could he be if he was one of it's attackers? But Sukuna knew better, and Kento was but a soldier. Not someone who could have prevented this; no, the only person who probably could have was Sukuna himself.
"Yes" he replied, hands deep in his pockets as he looked at the rocky floor below. Sukuna had grown accustomed to the distant sound of crashing waves, and their lack was extremely loud right now.
"How areβ"
"They're alive" he cut in. Kento nodded, satisfied with the answer.
"I heard her brother is in there" he continued, voice low and meant only for Sukuna. He didn't need to complete the thought for Sukuna to understand what he meant β no doubt treating Choso wasn't just a show of mercy from Kenjaku.
"He's not of rank" Sukuna groaned. "Just a boy playing at war"
"I know" Kento agreed. "I'll doubt that'll stop them getting any information they can out of him"
Sukuna finally kicked the stone he had been staring at, sending it rippling across the field. Of course nothing was every easy. "I'll ask for an audience" he decided, turning around to face his friend fully.
Kento nodded, trying not to linger on the subject. The two men stood side by side, taking in the movement all around them β such an odd thing, when the world seemed at a standstill.
"How are the others?" Sukuna muttered.
"Alive" Kento answered. "And well, too"
"Hm" Sukuna exhaled, the best he could do.
"Naoya is dead" Kento continued. "I trust that is good news to you"
"It is" Sukuna crossed his arms, remembering the reason he had sent the boy to his death in the first place.
"There were search parties when they found his body" Kento explained. "That's when they found us, too"
"That so?"
"We explained what happened" he continued. "Convinced them the lighthouse wasn't worth searching, that you were recovering there"
Sukuna rolled his eyes, all this seeming like part of a life he had half forgotten already. He didn't care for Naoya or Kenjaku or strategy β the only thing he cared about was in the tent right behind him, crying.
Because of the men standing all around.
His men.
"You attacked it anyway" Sukuna spat.
"The enemy forced our hand" Kento explained solemnly.
He knew it was true.
"Sukuna?" another voice called, and he was glad to see Toji standing above them, that scarred lip almost forming a smile. But he extended a piece of parchment, with lettering he recognised too well. "Kenjaku wants to see you" he explained.
Sukuna grunted but nodded, scrunching the invitation into his pocket. But just as he started to move, Toji stopped him again, nodding to the tent Sukuna had been guarding.
"Her too"
"So" Kenjaku started,sitting upon his throne with all the arrogance of a King and the dignity of a street urchin. Sukuna hated the man, hated his sense of self importance and how he saw people as pieces on a game board. And what Sukuna hated more than anything β was the way he was looking at you right now.
"My most precious commander disappears in the middle of war" he continued, chin resting on his knuckles. "And comes back with an enemy, two children, and old man, and⦠Pardon me, miss, I don't think we are acquainted"
He had that pompous smile dancing across his lips as he addressed you, waiting with all the patience in the world just to see how you were going to respond. Sukuna stood with his body half covering yours, but he could just about see how tense you looked behind him, your hands grasped together to hide their sweat.
Sukuna's fingers twitched, earning to grasp yours, but he only held his hand close. He knew how unpredictable his King could be. Especially in a room surrounded by soldiers in armour, closing in on you both like this was a criminal trial instead of a celebratory reunion.
"Well?" Kenjaku pressed on.
"She's with me" Sukuna snapped before you could give him your name, tone territorial as his body stepped to fully cover you. Gratitude swam in your chest, but it wasn't enough to calm your fears just yet.
"By the gods, Sukuna" Kenjaku laughed, throwing his head back in delight. "There is no need for such jealousy, my friend"
Sukuna huffed, rolling his shoulders back. "It is me who must atone" Sukuna reasoned. "Let her go and rest"
"Oh, you will atone" the king responded, leaning back into his seat. "But right now⦠I am curious"
Sukuna remained quiet. He should have known better, should have expected the whole camp would be talking about his disappearance and the woman he insisted on guarding since.
If there was one thing Kenjaku enjoyed, was knowing people's weaknesses. Ally or otherwise.
"It is rude not to introduce yourself" he challenged, and Sukuna heard your breathing hitch behind him.
"She has been through enough" Sukuna argued.
And it was true.
You had, and he blamed himself for it.
And now here he had gone and trapped you into another viper's nest.
"Explain, then" he rolled his eyes. "Since this girl seems to be mute"
Sukuna inhaled deeply, considering his words very carefully. It took everything in him to not attack this king right there, just for the way he spoke of you. But he knew he had to be careful here.
"They tended to my wounds" he explained.
"And now you ask to drag them to my camp?" Kenjaku rose an eyebrow. "Quite the odd payment"
"Their home was destroyed" Sukuna argued through gritted teeth.
"The price of war" his king waved a hand. "Quite a shame"
The whole room felt suffocating with the dozens of stares β he knew other people were scared of him, but they seemed even more fascinated by you. By this woman who had the fearsome Sukuna acting like a sworn shield.
He was ready to fight each and every one of them if he had to, but before he could speak again, he heard your voice coming from behind him, your name leaving your lips.
Kenjaku finally seemed terribly amused.
You had stepped fully next to Sukuna now, lowering yourself in a small reverence. Sukuna should have expected it β you were as brave as you were foolish. "It's an honour to make your acquaintance, my King" you said, voice still shaking at the edges, but these were the first words Sukuna had heard from you in days.
And for that, he was relieved.
"So she can speak" Kenjaku hummed, delighted. "Maybe you will give me some explanation, since my knight has forgotten himself"
Sukuna swallowed thickly, his jaw clicking as he tensed it. He knew you were intelligent, but you didn't know Kenjaku like he did.
"I know nothing of war, my liege" you continued. "My family controls the lighthouse, or, controlled" you corrected yourself, pain dripping from each word.
"Yes, so I hear" he squinted his eyes at you. "A base for the enemy, and yet you call me King"
Sukuna was ready to intervene, but you continued. "I know nothing of that, my liege" you said, composed. "My brother has fought for the other side, it's true, but has since recognised the error of his ways andβ"
"Please, girl, there's no need for deception" Kenjaku waved you off with his hand, opening another smile as he relaxed onto his chair. "I know all about your traitorous brother"
"Heβ"
"He's helped me" Sukuna interrupted you now, as soon as he heard the tears starting to form through your voice. Your head snapped to him, eyes wide and terrified, like Sukuna was hope personified. "Choso betrayed his men for our cause"
Kenjaku seemed annoyed now that Sukuna had joined the conversation again, his lips pursing sideways as his finger tips tapped the hand rests. "Why?"
Sukuna swallowed, your eyes on him burning more than all the others. "He's recognised the pretender for what he is"
Kenjaku was still not satisfied, seeing trough Sukuna's shameless flattery far too easily. He only scoffed, and kept waiting, giving him time to come up with the truth or a more convincing lie.
What the hell was Sukuna supposed to say?
Because I love her? They'd find it ridiculous.
But he didn't have any other explanation.
"My King" Sukuna knelt fully, the greatest show of respect. "I have done much for you, I only ask one thingβ spare them"
This action alone seemed to please him, however. "I can't remember the last time you've knelt, Sukuna" Kenjaku laughed, one eyebrow perched up on his forehead. "Is this whore really worth it?"
Sukuna kept his eyes on the floor, knowing Kenjaku was just trying to taunt him. To get a reaction. And he hated that it was working.
"You left, Sukuna, and now you ask for mercy?" Kenjaku continued when it became clear Sukuna wouldn't. "I should kill her right now to show you respect"
Sukuna snapped into action as soon as the words left his Kings lips, standing up just as two men in armour stepped in to hold you by the arms. For the first time, Sukuna could see your face fully β scared, terrified.
"Fucking touch her again and I'll kill you" Sukuna threatened, sword already unsheathed, and at the very least you did feel the two men loosen their grip.
But still, you looked at Sukuna with wide eyes that screamed for help, but this wasn't a fight the two of you could win with strength alone, not when you were surrounded like this.
You had to think, and you had to think fast.
"Stop" you yelled, forcing them all to listen. "I am with child"
At that, the whole room came to a halt.
Sukuna hoped no one would notice how he looked at you so utterly confused, his thick brows squinting together before his brain understood what you were doing. The two men had let go of your arms, looking to Kenjaku for instructions.
But all he did was let out a very, very long laugh, that reverberated through the whole hall.
"So that's what this is about?" he continued, enjoying this far too much. "I thought you were smarter than to sire bastards, Sukuna" he laughed.
"Not a bastard" he replied, embarrassed at how that obvious lie had made him feel inside.
"Oh" Kenjaku hummed. "Has my commander fallen in love?" he mocked.
Sukuna swallowed thickly, but held your gaze as he gave his final word. "Yes" he confirmed.
He thought he saw a small smile try to tug at your lips, the first one in a long while.
"How touching. Fine" his King sighed, sounding utterly bored now. With nothing but a wave of his hand, he dismissed the men around you. "Guards, show them their room. I won't harm your family βΒ yet. But they'll stay here"
"T-Thank you, my lord" you tried to say.
"And Sukuna" Kenjaku completed, as you both turned to leave. "I hope to see you at camp soon enough"
"Are you mad?!" Sukuna flew to your side as soon as the household guard shut the door behind him, the large bedroom greeting the two of you. He didn't bother looking around, no, all he cared about was bringing you close, cupping your cheeks with his gruff hands.
You only laughed at his hurried embrace, resting your forehead on his. You were clearly proud of yourself, and Sukuna couldn't deny it β you were too smart for your own good.
Still, the biggest threat was dealt with. For now.
"Don't I deserve some thanks, sir?" you teased, and Sukuna let out an annoyed tsk just above you.
"You fool" he huffed, lowering his hands to pull you into his chest. "You shouldn't have said anything, youβ"
"Did you mean it?" your voice interrupted him, so small he wasn't sure you had actually meant for him to hear it. Maybe you weren't sure either.
So Sukuna pulled you back just a little, lowering his head so it was closer to yours. "What?"
"You have fallen in love?"
Sukuna's shoulders tensed, his fingers digging into your sides. The question was preposterous, as surely everyone would agree. There should be no such thing as love for someone like him β he wanted to protest it, deny it, claim you were too good for such a man.
But he didn't.
"Yes" Sukuna admitted, the word falling off his lips far easier than he would have ever expected.
What was the point in denying it now?
Maybe this would have been his biggest act of selfishness, but the beautiful smile forming on your lips made him not care.
"Do you mean that?" you whispered, and he hooked his finger under your chin to force you to face him.
"Yes" Sukuna repeated.
He wasn't good with words, so he proved it to you the best way he could. A slow kiss, warm and tender, one he hoped would prove to you how terrified he was of losing you.
Even the fight being over did nothing to calm Sukuna's anxieties on the matter. For the days ride you had barely exchanged a word, and Sukuna had feared you had finally seen him for what he truly was, and shut off your heart completely.
There were no words to explain his happiness when you reciprocated the kiss, leaning into him with enough force to prove your devotion.
Life could be so easy if it was always like this. Of course, that was rarely ever the case.
"We are not out of danger yet" Sukuna broke the kiss, thumb brushing the skin of your stomach as he remembered how your cunning had saved you both. "They'll know you weren't telling the truth in a matter of weeks"
"Then make it true"
"β¦What?"
Was it just him, or had time stopped for a second?
You brought your hand to rest on top of his, pressing him ever so slightly into your flesh. Your eyes stared at his behind long eyelashes, your face the happiest it had looked in days.
"Make it true" you repeated, mouth just inches from his.
Somehow, you had left the powerful Sukuna speechless. Perhaps you weren't just cunning β maybe you were a witch too. A sea witch, come to steal his heart that night he had thought you an angel.
"You are betrothed" he reasoned, more to himself than to you.
"I don't want to marry a lord I've never met" you replied, steadfast. "I want to marry you"
Did Sukuna ever fathom he'd hear these words?
Maybe he had been killed in battle, and this was heaven.
"You don't know what you're saying" he whispered, though his fingers were tensing, digging into your flesh. Gods, you made this so hard for him.
"I do" you swallowed, bringing your hands to his pink strands now. "You saved us"
That made him pause.
This whole time, Sukuna had been chastising himself for all that had happened, believing you blamed him too.
He would have never suspected you were grateful.
"My family is alive because of you" you kept saying, tears starting to stream down your face. "I am alive because of you"
There was a knot the size of a rock inside Sukuna's throat, keeping him silent as he heard you say the most meaningful words you could have to him.
"You kept your promise" you smiled, even amidst the tears.
Sukuna pulled you close, resting your forehead to yours again. "I couldn't live with myself otherwise" he confessed.
"I don't want you to leave me again" you cried. "I want you to make me yours"
Sukuna couldn't help a scoff, a hand pulling the back of your head to him as he adorned a mesmerised smile.
"You are already mine"
And with that, his lips were on yours again. Restless, inevitable, all consuming β a kiss that was like a ship sinking into the ocean, slowly accepting the truth that couldn't be avoided anymore.
For Sukuna's smug words, he knew he had been yours far before you had been his. From that first night, when you saved him. And saved him again and again and again.
Made him believe there was more he could be.
"Sukunaβ" you whispered his name, throwing your neck backwards as he leaned down to explore the flesh there, leaving open mouth kisses all over. One of his large hands had traveled to your thigh, pulling it against him, holding you upright so that you didn't have to.
So that you could just give in to all the pleasure he wanted to give you.
This was mad, he realised. But the whole world had already gone mad way before this.
"Sukuna" you moaned again, hand pulling strands of his pink hair, his lips coming lower to your collarbones.
He exhaled, biting your shoulder playfully. "If you keep saying my name like that" he panted. "I won't be able to stop"
"Don't stop" you pleaded, nails leaving small half moon marks on his skin.
With far too much ease, Sukuna lifted you up and carried you to the mattress in the centre of the room. He lowered you down, gently, making sure there was a pillow behind your head and your clothes weren't all askew.
You were nervous, feeling your heart hammering inside your chest and an unfamiliar heat pooling between your legs. You had never been touched like this before, had never expected you would have begged for someone like this.
Sukuna's gruff hands were gentle as they caressed your flesh, tenderly squeezing your legs as he started pulling the fabric of your dress to your waist. You had read about this in books, thought you had some idea as to what expect.
But then Sukuna stood up, and you were utterly confused.
You pushed yourself up on your elbows, squinting at him for just long enough to see him grab you by the ankles, pulling you all the way to the edge of the mattress.
Your brows were completely knitted together as you saw him sink to his knees, a very amused grin visible on his lips before they disappeared.
Disappeared, and⦠touched you somewhere very unexpected.
"Wh-what are you doing?!" you yelped as his head sunk between your thighs, feeling an odd mix of pleasure and shame as soon as what was certainly his tongue had touched you in the most intimate of places.
Sukuna didn't bother explaining, because he knew you'd understand soon enough.
Two of his hands closed your thighs around his head, forcing them shut between his head. How was he breathing?! you thought, but all thoughts suddenly started fading away. "Oh" you moaned, back arching off the bed.
None of the books said anything about that.
"Stay still" he grunted between your legs, but you could have sworn he was laughing. It was, in fact, impossible to remain still, when Sukuna was so good at being so depraved β his tongue alone making you see stars as he kept drinking from you like you were the finest wine.
Your body acted like it wanted to run away from him, but your mind wanted nothing more than to stay right there. It was an odd thing, how he made you so sensitive you felt like you had no control, like your body was just acting on it's own and squeezing and tensing and gasping and then⦠Soaring, far above the sky.
A feeling like nothing you had ever felt before, washing all over you like the sun coming out after a storm.
The books didn't tell you about that, either.
You blinked slowly, completely lost in a daze as you saw Sukuna climb on top of you, his face a wet mess. Had you done that?
"Am I making you feel good?" he teased, right to your ear, and you felt yourself shiver all over again. How did he make you react like this, so easily?
"Y-yes" you replied, hypnotised by him. His smile was bright and smug when he brought his lips back down to yours, letting you feel your taste on his tongue, completely unashamed.
"Do you want to stop?" he asked between your lips. You only shook your head no.
That was all the confirmation he needed, before he started untying your dress, loosening the fabric all around your skin.
Instinctively, you brought your hands to hide yourself. You had never been seen like this before, and a million thoughts invaded your head. Would you be⦠sufficient? Would Sukuna think you beautiful? Would he be disappointed?
The man had just been between your legs, but the idea of being completely naked by candle light in front of the man you loved⦠it made you far tenser than you had ever expected.
You had read about how much a woman was expected to prepare before her wedding night, and now it was only just downing on you how impulsive this all had been. Should you have prepared more? Would you manage to please him at all?
What if you couldn't andβ
"Don't hide from me" Sukuna whispered, softly caressing the top of your hand where you held on to your breasts. The touch was so tender that you found yourself nodding, slowly lowering your hands despite the heat in your cheeks.
If you had any doubt about your adequacy, it was all gone when you saw Sukuna's face then.
You had seen him angry, scared, murderous. But you had never seen him quite soβ¦infatuated.
His mouth had fallen into a silent gasp, so completely focused on your naked form even the tattoos around his face seemed to soften. "You are beautiful" he whispered, testing how it would feel to slowly cup one of your breasts, watching for your reaction every step of the way.
You swallowed thickly, happiness mixing in with the anxiety. "I like this" you nodded to his hand, how it was exploring your flesh, the pad of his thumb just slowly rolling one of your nipples.
Sukuna watched you as you spoke, bringing his other hand to give the other equal attention. You completely lowered yourself down, enjoying how Sukuna palmed at your skin with his hands, quickly followed by his mouth as his touch grew more rough.
"Mmh" you hummed, thighs squeezing together like they had before as you felt that heat start to pool again. Sukuna was utterly focused on your chest, his tongue rolling each nipples and mouth leaving wet kisses all over you.
It was gentle, but firm, and it left you desperate for more. Your eyes blinked open in your lustful haze, realising he didn't match you in your nakedness. "I want to see you too" you whispered, bringing a hand to pull at his shirt, and you watched his crimson eyes follow yours.
Sukuna seemed to understand, begrudgingly pulling away from your chest to sit back on his heels, and start pulling the shirt over his head. It revealed his chiseled torso, the scar from the night you had met, and all the muscles decorated by years of exercise and years of criminality too.
You found everything about him beautiful.
Every painful mark that told a story you wanted to ask him about. Your hands followed every dark line that contrasted against his skin, adorning his beautiful frame, from his abdomen to his thigh.
It only occurred to you then, that he might have been as nervous as you to be naked together.
"You are beautiful too" you whispered, and you could have sworn the tips of his ears turned a light shade of red.
Sukuna shoved you back down onto the bed, mouth finding yours and hips settling between your thighs. You were quick to respond, your legs pulling you into him like they once had done on the lighthouse floor, on that day you had been so ready to give him everything.
Before it all had taken a turn, and life become a nightmare.
But Sukuna had rescued you from that.
Right now, you couldn't be happier in your decision.
"Tell me if it hurts" he commanded, and you felt something start to press against you. Ah, that the books had told you about.
You nodded, interlacing your fingers together with his. You had expected pain and discomfort, but there was nothing of the sorts when Sukuna slowly started to enter you, patiently taking his time to work you open.
Still, you were struggling to accommodate his size.
"Is this, um, normal?" you questioned, worrying again about him finding you inadequate. Was it possible you were built so wrong you could never do this in the first place?
But Sukuna laughed, and slowly, he let go of one of your hands to bring it lower, to where you were connected. The tips of his fingers seemed to find the bundle of nerves he had been exploring with his tongue earlier, softly taking it between his thumb and index, the sensation alone making your body jolt again.
"Relax for me" he kissed the side of your face, hips managing to sink into you just a little bit more as you tried to do as he asked.
You had never read of this technique he was employing, but you weren't opposed to it at all.
The pleasure slowly did make you relax, and little by little Sukuna's hips sunk deeper, finally entering you halfway. He grunted on top of you, clearly struggling to not lose composure as well, while you relished in the sensation of being so completely full.
You had always hoped to lose your maidenhood with someone you loved, and you had actually done it.
Sukuna had saved you from that as well.
"Beautiful" he kissed the side of your face, taking himself the last few inches into you before entering all the way. You let out a loud whimper when you felt his hips connect with yours, but soon they started moving, and suddenly all the fears were wiped away.
This felt good.
"Ohβ" you whimpered as Sukuna rolled his hips into you, pushing himself up just a little to watch your beautiful face as you took him for the first time.
You looked down to see where you were connected, mesmerized by the scene, but soon you looked up again β to his penetrating crimson eyes, and the handsome smile beneath them.
Sukuna had a trickle of sweat dripping from his forehead, threatening to fall on you, but you didn't care. You were happy to share everything with him, every fluid and sweat and every inch of you β what had once seemed so terrifying, now brought you nothing but pleasure.
Sukuna felt so right inside of you.
He enjoyed the way your eyes were turning to the back of your head, his fingers going back to massaging the bundle of nerves to make you feel even more electric. You clenched him and Sukuna responded with a groan, hips slamming faster and faster into you.
You loved this, loved him β loved how desperate he was to make you feel good.
Just as that odd sensation started to creep back up again, you pulled him by the shoulders to lay completely on top of you, almost crushing you under his weight, but you didn't care.
You wanted his mouth on yours when you felt that high again.
And like he had thought the same, you felt him jolt inside of you too, whole body tensing as something started to spill inside of you, along with your name echoing from Sukuna's lips.
What if you did become pregnant now, you found yourself wondering? There would be no need to tell more lies, then.
But you were happy to keep trying anyway, just to be safe β of course.
There was so much still left to do. So much left to consider.
But right now, you deserved this little bit of peace. To be held in your lover's embrace, to be touched by hands that worshiped you. By the man who you trusted to keep you and your loved ones safe.
And all else could wait.
β§ a/n this chapter was so much fun i really hope you enjoyyy!! i love these two so much. part of me actually wants to add an extra chapter but we shall see.... excited to hear your thoughts <33
