[insomniac-arrest]

[anxietyproblem]

[officialpigeon]

Person: “I’m 6ft tall”

me: *tries to imagine six subway sandwiches on top of eachother*

[dankmemeuniversity]

[leftboob-enthusiast]

Like I know bus stops are liminal spaces and all but this kind of thing is a little too surreal for first thing in the morning

[sonseulsoleil]

It’s almost 1 AM but in the song Belle from Beauty and the Beast the villagers sing “I need six eggs” “that’s too expensive!” and then later in the song Gaston, Gaston says “when I was a lad I ate four dozen eggs every morning to help me get large, now that I’m grown I eat five dozen eggs so I’m roughly as large as a barge” Gaston has been eating dozens of eggs every day for his entire life and is single handedly creating an artificial egg scarcity in the village and driving up egg prices. this economy is in shambles.

[pocketss]

distressing things to say to your friends

[oneheadtoanother]

[studentlifeproblems]

[towritelesbiansonherarms]

[kyary]

would you like to buy some turnips

[exai]

i no longer respect the hustle i want universal basic income and dignity for everyone

[unpretty]

i turned on the light in the dining room but Tubby had been sleeping in a chair and it woke her up and she was Not Pleased

[unpretty]

[unpretty]

yes

however we recently got her a new ceramic fountain that better suits her aesthetic

and her own fainting couch

but she still prefers a good lap whenever possible

[flawlessglamazon]

[burning-mind]

@unpretty what is Ms. Tubby’s full name if it is not Tubby?

[unpretty]

Tubbitha

[pangur-and-grim]

[catchymemes]

[turing-tested]

not to sound like a commie or anything but I hate how it costs money to be alive

[knifepadme]

i didnt shovel enough driveways as a kid so i didnt build enough character and thats why im the way that i am 

[ferretrade]

i have never had to mow a lawn and you can tell

[macleod]

Flying a drone through fireworks

[losangelesrams-deactivated20170]

I really don’t think anything exists man