AND A LITTLE BIT OF A BITCH @ffsfrederick - Tumblr Blog

minorxxthreat‌:

Sasha released her grip on the bow string, sending the arrow whizzing through the air, and finally to the target, millimeters away from the bullseye. She nearly flinched at the mention of her deadliest DUI. It had been years since anyone had brought that incident up, so the jab was jarring to say the least. “…Yeah, the archery incident didn’t quite make headlines. I’m sure I could fix that if I became a repeat offender.” Sasha averted her gaze as she prepared another arrow, although, the flustered manner in which she made her movements gave away just how bothered she was by the comment. “You ever seen someone get impaled by one of these bad boys? Less threatening than a bullet maybe, but…” She released the bow string again, closing her eyes momentarily as this one flew. It landed smack in the middle of the target, barely making the bullseye. “You’d probably bleed out before an ambulance could even get here, you know how LA traffic is… Then you’d be a pasty John Doe for months until anyone could figure out who you were… Who are you, again?”

“Uh-huh. Right, frightening.” He listened to her bad bitch spiel with the same interest he’d show in greeting his fans, or talking to these Verizon salesmen telling him he needs more data. “Oooh, looks like someone went to a rehab clinic with an archery range. Honestly, go for it bitch. It would make some great PR.” Freddie found out a long time ago on Jeffree Star’s secret sex boat that the only way to fight crazy is with crazier. And also, he’s seen the ‘look how dangerous I am, don’t mess with me’ act multiple times on his rehab stints. “I’m Frederick. I’d say nice to meet you, Miss Sasha, but the dollar store Billie Eilish thing is really tiresome, girl.”

#minorxxthreat

caleb-teo‌:

It took Cal a moment to realize that Freddie was talking to him. Well, perhaps not talking to him but talking near him and talking in a manner and at a volume that made it seem as if Caleb was expected to listen, if not come up with something profound to say in response. “You don’t like Jennifer Lawrence?” he wasn’t sure what the general reception was like for JLaw at the moment, he didn’t really keep up with that sort of thing but he thought she was pretty hot if nothing else. “Too easy, bro,” a dear? Weird- but L.A. was full of weirdos, Cal reminded himself as he picked up the bow and handed it over to the other male, feeling a little bit like a personal assistant. He folded his arms across his chest and thought about things for a moment, “I reckon she’s pretty funny ay, not a bad looking girl, either,” he announced. Sure, it wasn’t the most intellectual contribution anybody had ever made to a conversation but he was participating and that was something. “I mean, I wouldn’t say no to her,” he added with a chuckle.

Cute AND recognizes/respects talent? That was a rare combo in Los Angeles. Of course he had defects same as everyone else, starting by the non-ironic use of ‘bro’. Freddie got the bow from his hands and picked up an arrow, drawing the shot without even looking, to not break the rhythm of the conversation. “There is nothing wrong with liking the likes of her. Taste can’t be accounted for, after all.” He shot the arrow with such confidence that for a second it felt like a miraculous bullseye was going to happen. Reality ensued and no, he didn’t hit anything. In fact the arrow fell two feet away in a mediocre way. Freddie immediately shrugged and put the bow down, turning himself completely to the boy. “Every now and then Hollywood finds it’s vanilla ice cream.” Something so basic and drab that every non-famous out there can relate to. Relate, but never achieve. “Frederick Fenton, by the way.” No hand shake, nod of the head or anything. That was as far as Freddie acknowledged others at first glance.

#caleb-teo

nedkambridge‌:

“I didn’t ask, Freddie–” But did it really matter? Ned knew by then that Freddie was going to saw something ridiculous anyway. “Jennifer Lawrence likely trained for months though. You took a 10 minute lesson from a one-eyed man named Lefty– and I saw him shooting with his right hand, so I’m trying not to imagine what activities granted him the name Lefty.” Nevertheless, the hands the bow over to Freddie. He’s not sure how well this will end, but he’s willing to let him accidentally arrow (1) pedestrian down before calling a complete halt to it. “Don’t you want to go make bath bombs instead? Learn coding? Something where I won’t have to take you to the hospital for?”

”Neddy you have so little faith in me...” But thinking about it, yeah, he was probably right. Frederick put the bow and arrow down and put his arms on his waist before asking his manager. “Would you use a bath bomb made by me?” He knew the answer, but he was making a point. “Well, whatever. What do you think has the most potential for networking around here?” Archery would get him typecast in movies for horny teens and nerds anyway, he thought.

#nedkambridge

minorxxthreat‌:

Sasha stared in awe, as the stranger went off on a tangent she didn’t quite recall initiating. To be fair, at this time of day, all speech to her sounded like the monotonous ‘womp womp’ of Charlie Brown’s teacher, but her ears perked up at the final sentence. “Oh, sweetie, I don’t do favors… But if you could, get out of my way so I don’t shoot an imaginary apple off of your head.” Sasha lifted her bow, getting the arrow in position so she could take aim at her target which for now, was the bullseye and not the arrogant stranger’s cranium. “That would be nice.”

”Whatever you say, cupcake.” He shot back, just as condescending. In fact he crossed his arms and made a face worthy of Dame Maggie Smith in Dowton Abbey as he heard the girl speak. He knew who she was because he was a frequent viewer of the E! Network, always looking at whatever they were saying about himself and by consequence learning something about other trainwrecks as well. “Although, I heard you’re deadlier with a car than with an arrow.” Pulling punches? Freddie doesn’t know her.

#minorxxthreat #(i'm sorry he's a horrible person)

richiexandrews‌:

“That’s fair, it is really fucking annoying,” Richie agreed with a nod at the other’s terrible impression of Jennifer Lawrence. “I just hate her try-hard ‘I’m your regular everyday girl and oh so fucking relatable!’ attitude. Like, just shut the fuck up,” he said and rolled his eyes as he thought about the star. He couldn’t help but chuckle at the comment about falling off the wagon, something Richie could relate to very easily. “Hey, at least they’re still looking?” he tried to point out the bright side of the situation. Freddie was one of the few people that Richie enjoyed having around, someone despite being so different, was still someone who shared a lot of experiences with him. He was like an annoying kid brother that tried to do everything you did, even if it included various unhealthy coping mechanisms. “Oh please,” Richie scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Like your arrow could reach,” he replied. “How exactly are you a cupid? I don’t think a relationship with your right hand counts.”

”Bitch, don’t test me. I hooked you up with the bassist from that band last year, remember?” That didn’t work out, but the sex was awesome. At least with Freddie himself the sex was good. “Either way, there are plenty of cute guys around here, most of them from places like Bumfuck, Ohio... Looking for a chance in Tinseltown...” He trailed off, leaving Richie to think for himself whatever he wanted about that. “There’s no one really important around here, I checked already. So instead of networking we could just look for hookups and call it a day.” Neither of them could really drink alcohol or do anything actually fun, so sex with strangers was the next best thing. In fact that’s what people have been doing up until the invention of TV, says Freddie.

#richiexandrews

richiexandrews‌:

“I wasn’t,” Richie replied. “Wondering, that is,” he added on quickly as he watched Freddie. “But I’m sure you’ll tell me anyways,” the older man continued, rolling his eyes fondly at Freddie when he did exactly that. “Dimwit, huh? Do I detect a bit of jealousy or rivalry?” he questioned, raising an eyebrow at his close friend. Richie had atrocious hand eye coordination at things such as this, and he had always been more artistic than athletic. “I’m not giving you a fucking bow and arrow, Freddie. With both our lucks, you’d end up hitting me.”

“Neither. It’s just I can’t stand her ‘oopsie, look at me I just failed at some extremely simple activity’ attitude.” He said, doing what he thought was a very accurate J-Law impression. A shrilly voice and crossed eyes, like an idiot’s. “But when I do it it’s like look at who fell off the wagon, again!” Freddie liked having Richie around. He barely remembers how they met, but they had a lot in common. They tried to make it work as more than friends once, but found out they were sexually incompatible. It was like trying to fit a cucumber in a coin purse. “Also, you should be so lucky that I hit you with my arrow. I’m basically a cupid right now. Maybe you’d hook up with someone proper for once.”

#richiexandrews #alcoholism tw #innuendo cw

harveykensington‌:

Archery seemed like it would be more up his alley than most of the other classes - it was physical, and he was definitely a lot more gifted in that respect than with fiddly small technical things. Now he was partially worried the energetic guy next to him was going to either get them kicked out of the class, or was going to shoot someone. He lowered his own bow since it felt like he’d be better off keeping an eye on this guy. “Feels like you’re going to play that game regardless of my thoughts, honestly. Please don’t kill anyone.”

Freddie took the bow and arrow and started small, getting a gist of how the contraption worked, before going to the more ridiculous things like making a cupid’s pose, or pretending to shoot behind his head, that sort of thing. And yet the actual instructor didn’t even look back. How dare he not give Freddie attention? He was close to actually shooting the arrow at him, but decided it wasn’t worth yet another lawsuit. “Alright, I give up. He might as well be dead.” Looking back at this guy, he wasn’t so bad to look at. ”So... What’s your name?”

#harveykensington

salazarelias‌:

“I didn’t actually wonder,” Sal started, but he had already continued on what he imagined was an amusing tirade in the guy’s own head by the time it made it out of Sal’s mouth. Part of him would like to argue about Jennifer Lawrence just in effort to be some sort of devil’s advocate, but he didn’t care strongly enough about her to even consider doing it. Instead he just stood there, arms crossed with an eyebrow raised as he watched the way the man acted - almost with an air of entitlement. “Where’s the please?” he said, lowering his raised brow. “Someone didn’t learn from Miss Manners.”

“Ugh, wonderful.” He wants to be treated like people. A few (more than a decade ago really, but you’d have to torture Freddie into admitting how long it’s been) years ago he would’ve made anyone with such a catty attitude cry, after all there was no room in any room for TWO sardonic types. But now that he was trying to be uncancelled, as the people on twitter say, he had to actually put some effort into talking to non-famouses and nobodies. It was like a switch turned, as Freddie turned a lot more... Accessible. Even his accent changed a little, if one could tell these little acting things. It probably had something to do with the KTTV news right behind them, asking people on the other booths how were they enjoying the fair. “Oh my gosh dude, where are my manners? Sure sure, you’re totes right. My bad.”

#salazarelias

harveykensington‌:

Harvey clues into the fact that this person is apparently talking to him about halfway through his Jennifer Lawrence insult, only to then be confused when the term dear is dropped. In thirty-eight years of his life he’s never been called dear but it feels like this guy is definitely talking to him, so he picks up one of the spare bows anyway. “Oh- yeah sure, man. Did you need a hand, or something? I think the instructors over there.” He gestured over to where the instructor was blatantly hitting on woman and shook his head. “Yeah, I think he’s busy.”

“Oh, you’re not the instructor? Shame.” But he looked so pedestrian, Freddie thought. Surely he must be an unimportant. A good looking one, but still. He watched to where Harvey pointed and saw what was going on there. The actor then discreetly walked over to the other side of the archery stand and took a bow and a single arrow without the instructor noticing. Freddie then put the arrow and the bow together, just like in the movies, which suffices to say — completely wrong. “Wanna see how long it’s gonna take for him to freak out?”

#harveykensington

"Why did I sign up for this activity you wonder?” Probably not a single soul there wonders about it, but Freddie will tell them anyway. “Well, if that dimwit Jennifer Lawrence can do it on hunger games, so can I." And there's the fact that everybody knows non-famouses love celebrities with a weird hobby or quirk, or even a weird pet. Maybe archery could be his thing, since there was no way in hell Freddie would let a dirty animal into his home. He'd have to talk to Ned about it, depending on how this goes. "Now be a dear and hand me the bow.”

@thejunglestarters

#jungle event #jungle starters