Technical main blog is @nepenthe-raes-affairs (for my bullshit) but this is basically my main blog because writing and freaking out over too many fandoms to list is all I do anymore. 18+ ONLY. DO NOT FOLLOW ME IF YOU ARE A MINOR. I identify as Non-Binary but since I was AFAB, most of my works (mainly if they have smut) feature F!reader and will be tagged if otherwise.
(this came out of a conversation in the comments on a previous post about an author threatening to stop updating a fic because of lack of engagement)
So there’s this idea that fic writers should write for themselves and not care too much about stats or engagement,
and i totally get the sentiment behind that. if writing becomes entirely about stats and external validation, something important does get lost - creative freedom and joy, conviction in your own writing
but i also think:
“i write for myself, but i post for others.”
because posting fic is not only self-expression. it’s social. ao3 is called an archive, but emotionally it often functions as a community space.
people post for connection, for participation, for others to bear witness to their pain and trauma and grief,
and i don’t think most people are asking to be admired so much as acknowledged. there’s something deeply human about wanting another person to encounter something that mattered to you and go:
“ok, yeah, I see what you were trying to say. I see you.”
especially because fanfic is often people processing very real feelings through fictional characters at a safe distance, one step removed,
and then uploading that deeply personal thing into a shared archive and hoping somebody else might connect with it.
And i think that’s why it hurts so much when you summon up the courage and post a fic into the void and you get nothing back,
I want to give a huge shoutout to @fictional-affairs for not only redoing my Masterlist with new character headers but also making a new header for my tumblr page. I love everything!! Go check out my Masterlist 🥰🥰🥰
I think my favorite genre of fanfiction is when the author says something like "this was meant to be 3 chapters but it's actually going to be 5" in the notes at the end of a chapter and you can look up at the chapter count and it's like 15 or something
when you’re reading fanfiction and you get so involved in the story you start imagining different scenarios in that same universe and then it’s fanfiction fanfiction
Please remember your favorite writers are attention whores with a praise kink, they need validation to survive. Feed them comments and reblogs to save a life.
there's a lot to bitch about re: supernatural but at least it was made in 2005 starring teen soap actors on the cw with one million episodes per season. that's real television. if they made that shit now it would be like six episodes on apple tv and glen powell would be in it. so count your fucking blessings.
You know, an interesting tumblr transformation that's happened gradually, and which I've seen no one talk about: ask-culture has essentially dropped off to nothing.
By which I mean, asks used to be WAY more of the tumblr economy. They used to be more common to send, and receive, and see. They were integral to the collaborative, forum-like behavior of old tumblr communities, not even to speak on the HUGE number of ask-blogs that used to exist to only be interacted with in ask-form.
I'm not saying this in a vying-for-attention way but instead in an observational way: I used to get way way more asks in like 2015, even with a fraction of my follower count. I wonder if it's due to the homogenization of social media sites? There's a lot more of this divide between "content creator" and "consumer" instead of just a bunch of peer blogs who would talk to each other. "Asks" aren't really a thing on twitter, are they? And as I understand it, the closest thing to an "ask" on instagram or tiktok would be a creator screenshotting some comment and responding to it in a new reel or video or whatever those content mediums are. Are asks just too tumblr-specific? Is that aspect of the site culture dying out as more and more people converge to using all their social media sites in the same way?
it's probably from assholes making asks a minefield of trolling/harassment for years with no real blocking ability, which turned people off from allowing asks on their blogs so as a whole the site moved away from it
but now that we do have better blocking, we should try to revive it.
Reblogging again because I got an anon last week whining cause they did this to one of my unfinished series and the bot killed Y/N so now they want ME to give them a happy ending. Like. No. Suffer, bitch.
AI is the death of creativity. Anyone who does this to my stories and is stupid enough to brag about it will be blocked from ever reading my work again, AND I'll let everyone on tumblr know that you do this. We'll see how much fic you get to enjoy when every author blocks you forever.
Fic is a gift. I've said it before. Don't shit all over your lovingly handcrafted gifts, m'kay? This should be fucking obvious, but apparently for some of you it's not.
I just wrote 8 pages when I haven't written in months and was beginning to think I'd never be able to again. Idk what it is, but I am sharing and manifesting this energy for every writer who sees this. May you write 8 quality pages effortlessly and find joy writing once more
How does the public view them? (Doesn't have to be anything major, it could be classmates, friends, strangers in the park, etc.)
Is your character an optimist or pessimist?
Does your character care about their reputation and/or how others perceive them?
Is your character more of a family or friends person?
What, if anything, sticks out about their appearance?
Is your character good with kids?
What are some internal obstacles that your character has to overcome?
What emotion does your character feel most frequently?
If your character is an antagonist or something of the like, do they self-justify their actions? If so, how?
What events in their past helped shape and influence them into who they are today?
What are some of your character's pet peeves?
Who is the closest person to your character?
How did they become so close?
What habits does your character have?
What is your character's relationship with their family?
Overall, is there anything special or peculiar about your character compared to others in your story?
Who/what comforts your character?
Summarize your character's goals in one sentence.
Who's in the way of those goals?
What is your character's relationship with their emotions?
What regrets do they have, if any? (From any part of the story, not just exposition.)
If your character is at a loud, people-filled party, how would they act?
From childhood to their current age, how has your character changed?
What is the main setting of your story and how does it impact your character?
What are the top three most distinguishable personality traits of your character?
How does your character view themselves? (Expectations, intelligence, confidence, self-belief, etc.)
What emotion is the most unfamiliar to your character and how do they deal with it?
What are the three things that your character values most?
Is your character hiding something from other people, if so, what?
What genre of music does/would your character love?
How does your character view their past?
What are three positive traits that your character has?
What are three negative traits that your character has?
Imagine the ideal home for your character. Where would it be located? What type of housing would it be? Who/what would be there?
What are the things that make your character enter a full rage/cold mode? (Depends on their character.)
What does your character want to change about themselves?
Someone your character dislikes goes up to them and confesses. How does your character react? (Doesn't have to be a rejection.)
What does your character have yet to realize about themselves?
Is your character good at time-management and responsible?
What kind of clothes does your character wear?
What is one thing that your character dislikes/wants to change about themselves? ("Nothing" is also a valid answer.)
What does your character see as the greatest injustice?
What does your character fear?
On a scale from 1-10, how intelligent is your character? (1 being incredibly stupid with almost no knowledge of the world, and 10 literally being Light Yagami. If you don't get it, that's on you lol; but it's basically having over 200 IQ.)
Does your character specialize or have remarkable talent in anything? If so, what is it?
In a group setting, what role would your character have? Leader, co-leader, follower, or outsider?
What event in your story altered your character the most?
In the end, what is your character grateful for?
Why did you choose to use this character to answer these questions?
my dream as a fanfic writer is to write a story which people want to talk to me about and send asks about afterwards and discuss things the characters did and the symbolism and meanings behind certain lines and I'll be all "hehe thanks" but irl I'll be in literal tears because I wrote something that means something to someone
genuinely i really admire people who can set aside some time and go Okay I'm Writing Now and then get some writing done, i'm just out here fighting for my fucking life
You know what I don’t get? When fanfic authors apologize for long chapters. It’s like? You gave me bonus content, for free, and you’re sorry about it? Bruh. I have already named my firstborn after you. Dude.
You know what else I don’t get? When they apologize for short updates. It’s like: look at these new words I gave you! Sorry I didn’t give you even more free words. Bro, that’s at least two words that I did not have yesterday. For free. Dude. Thank you.
And another thing: when people drop out of nowhere with a surprise update and then apologize for it taking a while. Like, dude, I wasn’t expecting anything, and you gave me words. I thought this fic was abandoned, but wait: there’s more. You just popped in and reminded me that this is a Good Fic that I should probably reread. You made my goshdarn day.
Basically fanfic writers are under no obligation to publish anything so when they do update it’s always a net positive because the story is longer now, and I have something to read, so thank you so much to everyone who writes fic at whatever pace or quantity they want.
Summary: Joel meets one of Sarah's teachers.
Words: 1765
Warnings: Fluff
A/N: Preoutbreak. Unbetaed.
Joel fidgeted with his sweater in the mirror for what felt like the thousandth time. He couldn’t believe that he’d let Sarah and Tommy talk him into going to an event at a country club. Even if it was for Sarah’s school, he still didn’t want to deal with the rich assholes who look down on his blue collar job.
“Dad, we’re going to be late!” Sarah called from the front door.
Joel sighed and grabbed his keys before heading out to meet his daughter. As she came into view, he saw her nose wrinkle and braced himself for the incoming criticisms.
“What are you wearing?” She asked with disgust.
“This is what country club people wear!” He defended as he gestured at his outfit.
“Maybe in 1983,” she scoffed. “Ugh, whatever, we don’t have time for you to change. Let’s go, dork.”
Joel pouted at her back as he followed her out to his old Dodge, ready to put the next few hours behind him.
-
Joel pulled into the country club a few minutes after the cocktail social began, he and Sarah bickering about his driving the speed limit to prolong the inevitable. He put the truck in park with a sigh and reluctantly climbed out of the front seat, following Sarah into the building.
“See, Dad, none of the other parents are dressed like that,” Sarah hissed.
Joel looked around and found most of the handful of fathers in similar outfits – slacks and button downs with sweater vests or sweaters around their necks – just in muted, neutral tones instead of the palate of yellows that he’d chosen.
“Yes, they are,” he defended, “they’re just not as...” He trailed off, trying to find the right word.
“Yeah, they don’t look like they’re trying to find a curious chimp named George,” she retorted with a roll of her eyes.
“At least I’m not wearing a giant hat,” he grinned, taking a small amount of pleasure in teasing his twelve year old.
Sarah groaned and led them to a table holding a sign in sheet and name tags. She filled them out herself, squashing Joel’s idea to be funny. “PLEASE don’t embarrass me in front of my classmates,” she implored.”
“I promise,” he told her. “I’m going to try my best to avoid everyone anyway. These are not my kind of people.”
Sarah grinned and kissed his cheek, telling him to mingle as she walked over to her friends.
Joel wandered over to the bar and ordered a beer, relieved when the bartender waved away his payment, commenting that it was an open bar. He surveyed the room as he leaned casually on the counter top – definitely a cherry wood – smiling softly when his eyes met those of a woman dressed in a sundress adorned with a delicate sunflower print.
-
She was standing at the edge of the room, talking to another parent, when a flash of yellow caught her eye. She followed the movement and found a handsome man leaning against the bar. He smiled softly when his gaze met hers before his attention was pulled in a different direction.
Suddenly, the room was warm. “Excuse me, please,” she told the parent before she stepped outside.
She basked in the sunlight for a few moments, taking deep breaths of the warm air scented with flowers before she heard footsteps following behind her on the garden path. She saw yellow from the corner of her eye and turned to find the man from the bar standing next to her.
“If I’m intruding, I’ll go,” he said as he turned his eyes to her, his deep, rich voice wrapping her in a new warmth, tingles crawling up her spine. “I just needed to get out of the crowd.”
“I don’t mind. I needed the air as well.” She smiled at him and returned her gaze to the pond in front of them, a fountain spraying water high into the air before it fell in sprinkles back to the earth.
“Miss Sunny?” A young girl called behind her.
She turned to see Sarah, one of her favorite students, coming down the path. The girl paused and grinned when she saw the man standing there.
“I see you’ve already met my dad,” Sarah grinned.
“Not officially,” the man replied, extending his hand. “I’m Joel. I think Sarah called you Miss Sunny?”
She shook his hand, trying not to focus on how large and rough it was. “That’s what my students call me. My name is -”
“Sunny suits you,” he interrupted. Joel dropped her hand and slid it into his pocket as he regarded the woman before him.
“So you’re Sarah’s dad? She speaks very highly of you,” Sunny informed him, smiling at the way he ducked his head and chuckled before returning his gaze to her face.
“I assure you that I can’t possibly all be true.” Joel could feel the warmth tainting his cheeks and neck and prayed the beautiful woman in front of him didn’t notice.
She tiled her head with a curious hum before smiling. “I think we’ve been set up.”
Joel looked around and found that Sarah had gone, indeed leaving them alone near the pond. “I apologize for my daughter. I promise I raised her better than that.”
“You don’t have to apologize. I know how teenagers can be,” Sunny assured him. “But if you’ll excuse me, I need to -”
Her sentence was cut off when she tripped on a paving stone, pitching forward. His hands wrapped around her waist and kept her upright. He tried not to think about the softness under his palms.
“Are you okay?” He asked as she righted herself.
“Yeah, just a clumsy moment. More embarrassed than anything,” she chuckled nervously.
“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. But maybe there should be something said to the maintenance staff. That stone is the least of the problems with this place.” His eyes swept the area and, with a shake of his head, he continued. “They would have better grass retention if they had more of the native grasses and trees. Even inside of the golf course I can see patches of overwatering or underwatering and -” He stopped abruptly, color flooding his sun tanned cheeks. “I’m sorry. Landscaping and construction are my job. I tend to ramble about those topics.”
“I’d like to hear more,” she smiled, “but I think you’ll need to let me go first.”
Joel realized the awkwardness of their position, her hands on his chest and his arms around her waist. He removed his hands swiftly and stepped back, stumbling slightly when his heel hit the edge of the lifted stone Sunny had tripped over moments before. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I’m gonna go.”
“Joel, wait,” she laughed.
“I really didn’t mean to hold on to you while I ranted about grass and trees.” Joel shoved his hands in his pockets and kept his gaze off of her face, missing the amusement dancing in her eyes.
“It’s really okay,” she insisted. “I wasn’t uncomfortable. I don’t want Sarah to come looking for you and get the wrong idea.”
“And what would be the wrong idea?” He raised his brows and smirked, wondering if he could fluster her as easily as she flustered him when she pointed out their proximity.
“That you and I are making out in the garden of the country club five minutes after meeting.”
Joel was impressed with her composure, though he supposed she had to be pretty good at keeping calm when she’s teaching middle school. “I guess that would be wrong,” he nodded, emphasizing the word in a low voice, trying not to think about how her lips might feel against his own.
“Not that it would be wrong to make out with you,” she added in a rush, “but it wouldn’t be the best example for her. Or the other kids. Or -”
“I’m teasing you,” he grinned slyly.
She feigned offense and he laughed, his eyes crinkling with the width of his smile.
“I see the two of you are having a good time.”
Joel and Sunny turned to see Sarah standing on the path, a smug smile on her face. They shared a look and shrugged in tandem, chuckling at their synced movements.
“Are you ready to go, kid?” Joel asked, secretly hoping she’d say no.
“And if I am?”
Joel looked at her quizzically, eyebrows furrowing as he tried to figure out what she meant.
“If I am ready to leave, are you going to ask Miss Sunny to dinner?”
Sunny bit her lip to suppress a giggle. Sarah had dropped all pretense of being subtle. There was something about the certainty she held that made Sunny do something spontaneous. “How about the two of you come for dinner tonight? I don’t have anything special planned but I would like to spend time with you.”
“I have plans but my dad will be there at six,” Sarah answered for him.
Joel’s jaw dropped at his daughter making plans for him. “And what plans do you have young lady?”
“Staying out of your way so that you can find a small bit of joy,” she retorted immediately, as if she was awaiting his pushback.
Joel sputtered before finally sighing in defeat. “Make sure Tommy is free -”
“Oh, Uncle Tommy is going to take Dylan and I to the soda shop,” Sarah announced, “I already talked to him.”
Joel turned to Sunny, a nervous excitement in his eyes. “How about dinner with just me?”
“Sounds wonderful,” she agreed with a wide smile, their eyes not leaving one anther's.
“Six o’clock?” Joel asked for confirmation.
“Better make it seven, Dad,” Sarah corrected. “You have to change. I will not send you on a date dressed as a banana.”
Sunny could no longer contain her laughter and threw her head back. When she composed herself, she turned to the young girl. “Sarah, my phone is at the bar. Please go add your dad to my contacts.”
Sarah nodded and walked back inside, leaving Joel alone with her teacher once again.
“You can back out, you know,” she offered, “I know it was kind of sprung on you.”
“No, I’d like to go to dinner with you. As long as you’re okay with it?”
“I’d love it. I’ll text you my address?”
Joel nodded and Sunny turned away, pausing a few feet down the path and turning back. “I don’t think you look like a banana, by the way. Yellow happens to be one of my favorite colors.”
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