Aye. So I'm Remorse and this is my library. Please keep the noise levels between screaming and giggling and don't forget to thank the author on your way out. ReiHaru challenge: 24/100 days completed. Author's biography: 20 facts collected author's status: not as dead, but still screaming. (hiatus)
Hey. Idk if anyone still looks around at this blog or anything. But here's an update. So I am somewhat better. Somewhat being key word. I'm trying to write again too. My goal right now is to attempt to finish SOMETHING within the next month or so. Idk what yet, whether it will be Free or something else. We shall see. Anyways. Stay tuned.
Just a quick thing here guys If you want to go back a read a certain day but don't want to scroll forever... Fictionary's desktop site has a page for all the days with direct links to each day, summaries, and the AU description. So it's there for you now. If a link is broken, description wrong, or something doesn't work for you PLEASE tell me, I've got the ask on Fictionary open, my ask in Remorse is always open, same with MESSAGES. I TAKE THEM. Hope you guys had an awesome holiday, and have an even better New Years. An actual "Update" on me will come later. Deuces for now Stay tuned?
AU: The continuation of day 6 where Rei left to live in Korea
Warning: I wrote this out of frustration. Meaning be prepared for a crying Haru and a bleeding Rei and a lot of arguing. Also mentions... no wait clear writing of MakoRin towards the end.
Summary: The picture that was sent the next morning of a sleeping Rei and Haruka leaning over him to kiss his cheek with the words “Thanks for the aspirin and for not drugging me.” made Nagisa smile. All was right in the world. Wait... is that a hickey on Haru’s neck? “RIN! THEY DID THE HANKY PANKY!” “NAGISA I SWEAR TO GOD ITS 2 AM!” Yeah.. All was right in the world...
His eyes took more interest in the ground then the blonde in front of him. The wind picked up a bit and blew at his jacket loosely hanging on his frame. The blonde in front of his stared with wide eyes, confusion apparent in the way his hand that still clutched Rei’s wrist tightened just a bit more.
“Rei-chan…” Nagisa breathed out, taking a step closer to the tall blue haired male. “Say something… What’s going on in that big head of yours?”
Rei looked up at him then, surprised the other was even interested in his thoughts. He bit his lip, turning to look anywhere but at the person standing before him. “A lot.”
The silence was heavy.
“You know…” The blonde released his wrist, making the taller finally look at him. Nagisa spun a few times on his toes, his hands behind his head. “Haru-chan thought it was better off if you were left alone. He thought you really meant what you said, about there being nothing left here for you.” The blonde stared Rei straight in the eyes when that sentence concluded.
“I…” He tried to form words but none seemed to come out as he stared, perplexed, at Nagisa.
Nagisa did a shrug between one shoulder and his head before sighing. “What a mess… and here I thought I wouldn’t have to resort to plan B.”
“Plan B?” Rei asked but was quickly stunned by a piece of paper being shoved in his hand. “Nagisa what are y-“
“Stay at this hotel tonight, a room is already waiting for you. Don’t ask questions just do as I say and I will know if you don’t- Rei let me finish- Rei I swear if you try to interrupt me I will resort to plan C which involves rope, you missing your conference, and a very unhappy orca who will have to give up his apartment because someone just didn’t want to listen. So do as I say and everything will be fine.”
Okay, back up here, did Nagisa just give an order?
The blonde smiled happily and released his bone crushing grip on Rei’s wrist, twirled on his heel and skipped a few steps away.
“And don’t forget to have some aspirin with you okay?” Nagisa bounced happily with a wave before walking off.
Alright then… definitely not how he was planning his first day back in Japan.
~~~~~~
So wait. I have to give up my hotel room because you couldn’t just find a way to drag his ass here?
Yupp! Srry Rin-chan!
Literally what the fuck…
Thts wut we r hoping 4!
Just get your ass here, I’m hungry.
~~~~~~
So here he was – five hours later – alone in this nice looking hotel room. Rei looked around a bit before setting his suit case next to the single bed. The time on the nightstand read 9:36pm. Well, it would do him good to get a lot of sleep before his flight in the morning.
Rei went sat on the bed to take his shoes off when suddenly the door to his room opened. In walked none other than Nanase Haruka, slightly swaying with his steps and not looking like he had any desire to be among the living. The dark haired male walked in, shut the door with his foot – all while texting on his phone – and took a few steps into the room before he had any idea he wasn’t alone.
He looked up and raised a brow at the taller male standing on the other side of the bed.
“Rei?” he asked confused.
“Haruka?” Rei responded sort of in an answer but also for confirmation that it was really him.
Haruka threw his phone down on the bed, “The hell are you doing here?” he grumbled.
“Me? I should ask the same for you.”
The dark haired male raised his brow again in annoyance, “I was threatened to come here, but now that I’m seeing my options,” he looked Rei up and down before sighing, “the threat doesn’t seem all that bad anymore.” He then sauntered over to the table next to Rei that held a pitcher of water and two glasses.
“Are you saying I’m a horrible option?” Rei hissed out to the dark haired male, taking the time to remove his shoes and place them neatly on the floor.
“I’m saying I’d rather be drugged and tied to a chair than seeing you again.” Came the mutter disguised by the sound of water being poured into a glass.
Rei decided now to inspect Haruka further, “What’s wrong with you?”
“Oh I don’t know; a few drinks and a couple of shots just seemed healthy for me.” He joked.
“You’re drunk.” Rei concluded.
“Captain obvious as usual.” Haruka snorted.
“Drunk and sarcastic.” An eye roll.
“Was that an insult?”
“No that was merely me being ‘Captain obvious’ as you so claim.” Another eye roll.
“Listen Rei I didn’t ask to be forced to spend the whole night with you.” Haruka took a long drink from his glass, walking the best he could to the other side of the bed but only really making it to the foot before sitting down.
“Neither did I.”
“Really? You had the option. You didn’t have to stay here! You should’ve done the same thing you did seven years ago and left.” The dark haired male’s voice raised a few octaves.
“Oh so you hold a grudge against me leaving?” Rei crossed his arms, not really liking where this conversation was going. Even though the voice in the back of his head was yelling at him not to fight with someone who was drunk he still continued.
“Yes in fact I do.” Haruka smirked, like he was pleased with his answer.
Rei pinched the bridge of his nose; this was going to get worse before it got better. “What the hell did I do to you Haruka?”
“Oh, oh ho ho.” He laughed mockingly. “You want to know what exactly you did Rei? You want to know what you did to me?” He paused, took another sip before continuing. “You left. You got up and decided none of this mattered anymore and you fucking left, because apparently we just weren’t good enough for you.”
“I never said that.” Rei tried.
“Really? Sure sounded like it. We weren’t good enough for you just like the track team wasn’t good enough for you.” He threw back the glass, gulping down the rest of the water.
“You take that back.” Rei said taking a step towards the drunken male.
“Why the hell should I?!” He stood up and took a step toward the other as well, getting right in his face. “Can you take back the last seven years I have spent wondering if you were every coming back? And all that you left me with was a goddamned ‘depends’?! Depends if you decide to care! Depends if you decide that maybe we were the only real friends you ever had Mr. There’s nothing else here for me!”
“That’s enough Haruka.” Rei stated firmly, grapping hold of Haruka’s arm.
“Don’t fucking touch me!” Wrong arm choice on Rei’s part as the arm he grabbed was propelled upwards, sending the glass it was holding straight into his face. “What right do you have?” The other yelled.
Rei had immediately let go of Haruka to hold the side of his face, his fingers brushed over his lip where he tasted blood and he brought them forward to check. “That was uncalled for!” He glared at Haruka, fully intending on arguing back now. Reason be damned.
“Yeah so was you getting up and leaving me with nothing! I thought that maybe with everyone gone I could finally have my opportunity. I thought that maybe that since it was just the two of us I could finally tell you how I felt. I thought you felt the same!” His shouted statement left Rei in silence because he realized something…
Haruka had started to cry.
“Haruka…” shock slowly over took his rage.
“No! I’ve had to wait seven years to say any of this and you are going to listen because I will not wait another seven! I love you. I really fucking love you. And you want to know something? I’ve spent the majority of the last seven years trying to figure out how the fuck I could love a man like you. And you want to know what answer I came up with?” The tears ran freely down his cheeks, dripping onto the carpet below them.
“Yes I do…” The taller one responded, completely shocked at the tears and the confession.
“I finally figured out that you are the only person in the world who truly understood what it was like to be so in love with something that it’s all you think about.” The older stopped to take some much needed breaths – realized he was crying – and tried to stop the tears as they persisted in falling.
Rei sighed. Digging in his pocket he found his handkerchief. He reached forward and gently pulled Haruka’s hands from his face. Using the handkerchief, Rei wiped away the tears knowing they were his fault.
All these years and he had never known.
“I’m sorry…” was all he could say. “I’m so sorry…” His hand fell away from Haruka’s face and he looked at the male in front of him with regret deep in his heart.
Haruka took a minute to gather himself. He looked up at Rei with regret as well, now seeing the other’s bleeding lip. The swimmer took the handkerchief from Rei’s hand and reached up to dab at the cut. “I guess I should be too…”
“Why shou-“
“For not contacting you…”
Oh right, he had given the other his email to contact him.
“Haruka…” Rei took Haruka’s hand that dabbed at his lip and smiled. “We are quite the mess, hmm?”
“Yeah… I guess I understand why Rin yelled at me so much to just kiss you and get it over with.”
Rei couldn’t help the laugh, “True, that would probably have been a lot better than the argument.”
“Does that mean… you would have liked it?” Haruka asked with hope, looking up into the other’s eyes.
“Why don’t you find out?”
~~~~~~
“I say they beat the shit out of each other.” Rin said, lying down in bed with Makoto who gathered him in his arms.
“I say they made good use of the free hotel room.” Makoto smiled, kissing the other on the forehead.
“If they fucked I want proof.” Rin grumbled out, getting comfortable in the other’s arm and entangling his legs with Makoto’s as well. “Better have been some good sex for me to give up a hotel room in favor of Nagisa’s plan. Honestly how come they get sex and I don’t because we have to let Sousuke and Nagisa stay here.” Rin hissed.
“Rin. Hush. Sleep.”
“You are telling me-“
“Rin.”
The red head muttered out a few more curses before closing his eyes in favor of not wanting to make his boyfriend mad.
(a/n) I have been laughing for a million years at the summary I wrote for this. It is almost 4 am when I’m editing this because I don’t want to ask my Editor in Chief to do it. Dear lord I need sleep. Do stay tuned?
Summary: He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not... He loves me...
There’s this man. What most people would call a madman. He lives in room 203. I only see him once, when I bring him lunch, but I try not to think of him as a madman but something more… human.
He’s obsessed with science. But again I try to see it as good instead of bad so he’s not obsessed to me but more of… invested in it. There are hundreds of formulas across his walls that he’s written on in chalk. Some equations fill up walls and others tapered off unfinished from when he suddenly thought of something else to write.
Every time I bring him lunch, he’s always mumbling to himself – almost like arguing – and writing across some surface in his room. He’s not allowed to leave so the very limited interaction he has with other people makes him a bit fidgety.
He’d stop his writing, and look down at me. Of course I’d find him writing along the ceiling that’s above his bed.
“Lunch Doctor Ryuugazaki.” I tell him and place it on his desk. He jumps down and gently nudges me away before the tray can be placed down. He’s mumbling about untidiness and trying to organize his papers and books that are scattered across his desk. When he deems it satisfying, he takes the tray from my hands and places it down. He then looks to me and suddenly he’s not the crazy scientist that’s locked in here, but a gentleman who’s nervous about not pleasing his guest.
“Can I get you anything?” He asks, fumbling with his hands. His voice, shaky, shoulders hunched up in a sort of scared way, and his glasses are in the right spot on his face yet every few seconds he reaches up to reposition them.
“No Doctor. I’m fine, just eat your food.” That’s what I’m told to tell him. I’m only meant to stay and make sure he eats then leave with an empty tray.
“Oh! Oh yes do sit please.” He pulls out the extra chair and puts it next to me, urging me to take it. I do with a thank you and now he’s not as fidgety but still… nervous. He knew that if he acted out they would only come to sedate him. I know from the look in his eyes that he is afraid of that.
He sits finally and unwraps his sandwich, but the nervousness is still plane to see.
This is my schedule every day; lunch with the doctor and watching him become a nervous wreck while eating.
I don’t believe I get paid enough for this.
Do I even get paid?
~~~~~~
Whenever he acts out it takes a lot of force to get him to calm down. There are certain triggers to his outbreaks though. I’ve had to witness all of them but as I’ve said before I don’t like to look at them as ‘outbreaks’ because he is very much human, not the madman they label him as. I prefer to think of the outbreaks as him being lonely and wanting someone to just listen to what he has to say. Of course anytime I try to ease him myself I get scolded by the other nurses. Something about he’s too dangerous. He’s not dangerous though. He’s honestly not.
There was a time when he simply wanted to discuss one of his hundreds of theories written along the flat surfaces around his room. The doctor had approached me the second I walked in with a large grin and grabbed my arm, dragging me over towards something on the far wall. His speech was rapid and had little room for replies. I guess the nurses outside thought he was going to hurt me from the way he dragged me in. They had to come in and rip me from his grasp – which wasn’t all that harsh – and drug him up, leaving him to his thoughts. His screams of “NO! NO! HE MUST SEE THE THEORY FIRST!” still rings in my ears.
Another time was last week in truth. The doctor had been eating calmly when he got up to look for a something to write with, mumbling about principals and reasons. His half eaten apple was thrown across the room when he couldn’t find anything and started tearing around his desk and multitudes of papers and books looking for something to write with. He yelled – no – firmly commanded without a rise in his voice for me to find a writing utensil. His ‘raised’ voice of course was heard by the nurses outside. More drugs in his system, an unfinished apple to lay in the trash, and a formula never to be written.
Sometimes I forget why I work here…
~~~~~~
Something hits the floor to my left and I pull myself from my thoughts to look up at the blue haired doctor. “Doctor Ryuugazaki, is everything alright?”
He’s dropped his water bottle this time and he’s staring at the wall behind me. He brisk walks over to it, laying a hand upon the inscriptions written in white across the surface. His hand smudges a large amount when it’s removed and he takes long strides to his desk. Once there he sweeps the lunch tray to the floor making me jump from my seat. “Doctor Ryuugazaki, please tell me what the problem is.” I approach him silently, placing a hand atop his shoulder.
He’s smiling though, calm and smiling. “The problem.” He repeats. “The problem, yes what exactly is the problem.” The doctor’s voice is calm, steady, even as a large stack of books gets knocked over.
The nurses outside will sedate him again if I don’t do something…
“Doctor please, you need to use your words.” I tell him, for he seems lost in thought now.
“The problem!” He shouts – well actually – he exclaims it. The doctor holds a folded up piece of paper in his hands; they tremble a bit in what I can only guess is happiness.
Spinning on his heal he goes back to the wall he was once at. Almost as if in a hurry he straightens out the paper and places it against the smudged chalk writing. Then he is quiet. Then…
Then he’s laughing.
It’s not a madman’s laugh in the slightest. It’s more of a relieved laugh.
The doctor turns to me with the biggest grin I’ve ever seen on his face, gives a hearty “AHA!” and points at the paper. “Aha.” He repeats, his voice calming a bit.
I do nothing but stand there, shocked and wide eyed. Confused more like.
The blue haired doctor releases the paper, letting it fall to the ground silently. Slowly, he walks to me, slowly he comes to stand a few inches from me, slowly he grips both my arms, and slowly he backs me into his desk.
“Aha…” he breaths. “The problem… the problem and the solution. I have found both.”
I’m staring at him in confusion still but there is not a hint of fear in my eyes. Why would there be?
He’s not a madman.
Slowly he closes the distance between us.
He’s not a madman.
Slowly his lips connect with mine.
He is not a madman.
Slowly I too kiss back.
But maybe…
Maybe I am.
Maybe I’m a madman from falling in love with a labeled madman.
Summary: Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing. There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own destiny. And a time to prepare to pick up the pieces when it’s all over. – Octavia Butler
“Don’t worry Rei you will be fine.”
That what my parents said when they dropped me off, my backpack on my back heavy with new books, a satchel hanging on my shoulder with a laptop and more books, and a suitcase by my hip with clothes and even more books. Those books were mine though; I don’t think I would’ve been able to do this without them.
My parents gave me a smile before leaving, driving away with my older brother waving out the window. They had left me in front of the new dorms I would be staying at. Boarding school is what my dad had called it. He told me it would be good for me to get out and actually meet people.
Sure, okay, I can do this.
At least I thought that while packing my things last night. I would be spending the next two years here while my parents left to travel and my brother went to college up north. They didn’t want to leave me alone at home while I continued with highschool and barely had any friends to hang around with.
I sighed, pushing my glasses up my nose before looking around. It was early, most likely no one was here or everyone was sleeping.
Taking a step forward, key card clutched tight in my hand, I made my way to the front entrance of the building. The glass door unlocked after a swipe of my card on the panel next to it. I was forced to take another deep breath. My room was 2C48.
The 2 meant building 2, C meant the third floor, and 48 was the number that was placed in simple silver just below my eye level on the door I would be opening and closing multiple times over for the next two years.
Another deep breath was taken before I unlocked my door and stepped inside.
~~~~~~
“So what’s your room number?”
“2C32. And you Haru?”
“2C48…”
“Well at least we will be in the same building and even the same floor! Not many people are that lucky Haru.”
“Hm...” I mumbled, this whole boarding school thing seemed like a waste to me. My parents finally decided not to leave me home alone anymore and sent me to this place thinking it would be a grand idea of some sort. I blew a few strands of hair out of my face and looked up to the building we were approaching. Four stories, 50 rooms on each floor. I sighed.
No pool…
Makoto was kind enough to walk me to my room knowing I just wouldn’t go if he didn’t. The tall brunette placed his hand on my shoulder for a moment.
“Try not to scare your roommate okay? Try to be friends with him.”
Oh shit. I almost forgot about that whole thing. We all have at least one roommate. Thank god I wasn’t placed in building 1; those rooms were all three people to a room.
But still I rolled my eyes and Makoto, shrugging of his hand and pulling out my card to open the door.
“See you around Haru.” Makoto waved goodbye to me. Oh great he’s going to leave me here to greet the guy who I’ll have to deal with for the next two years alone.
Great job Makoto, but I still gave him a small wave back. I swiped the card and opened the door, dragging in my suitcase behind me.
This better be worth it…
~~~~~~
OF COURSE that’s how this story is going, person A and person B become roommates and slowly fall in love and then binga batta boom, couple stuff happens. Right?
Well let’s see how great of a plot twist we can make this.
~~~~~~
2 years later.
Graduation has come and gone, the now older boys have started packing, getting ready to leave and move onto college and bigger things.
Friendships were made and now it was time to say good bye. No more hanging out every day by the same old tree or bench, no more studying together in hopes of passing the exams together.
Things were complete.
Rei smiled and he sat on the small balcony that occupied part of their building. Next to him was Haruka. The two had grown since that day when the two of them had first met or more of collided with each other.
Rei stifles a laugh at the memory. He had tried to leave right a Haruka came in and they both hit each other instantly.
“Care to share?” Haruka asks from next to him. They both have their legs hanging from between the railing posts and a can of soda in one hand.
“I was remembering how we met.”
“Oh… That was pretty funny wasn’t it?” Haruka can’t help but smile a bit as well. He had remembered the first day at this place was used for icing his splitting headache and hearing apology after apology from Rei.
“I’m still terribly sorry about that.” Rei said to him, taking a sip of his soda.
Haruka shook his head, reaching a hand up to rub Rei’s arm in a reassuring manner. “It’s fine Rei.”
They have both changed since they came to the school two years ago. Both have matured, showed each other how to live a little, and gave each other a friendship neither thought they needed.
“I still can’t believe how many people believed you and I were dating.” Rei laughed. Haruka snorted.
“Honestly, I’m not even gay.” Haruka said, setting his can aside.
“And I’m not even interested in a relationship with anyone.” Rei added in, finishing his can before scooting it next to Haruka’s.
It then got silent, the two teenagers staring off as many students began leaving, some staying to party, others already long gone. The air around the two got a bit tense as they realized they would have to vacate the dorm by tomorrow. The feeling of loneliness slowly found refuge in the dark corners of both their mind.
Rei decided to clear his throat at that moment, getting Haruka’s attention quickly. The dark haired boy smiled a bit at him.
“No matter what, we will stay in contact. Don’t think I’m going to let you get away from me Haruka. You dealt with me for almost every day straight of two years.” Rei had said this is such a serious manner that Haruka had to pause for a moment to just stare at him.
But then they both broke out laughing.
They laughed for some time, leaning back to lie down on the floor of the balcony.
Once the fit of laughs eased away they two of them stared up at the night sky for a while, the silence now peaceful and comforting.
Friendship is what they had gained and friendship is what they had.
So even when they hugged once more – and maybe the last time for a while – in the morning when Haruka left with Makoto, they knew that the friendship was a never ending cycle of wake up calls at three am when Rei’s insomnia hit and phone calls of when Haruka needed help on homework.
It was weird, but still good.
Yeah…
Still good.
~~~~~~
Now how about that plot twist for you?
Not one of love, but of friendship. Because why not?
(a/n) Like 0 editing because I suck enjoy my darlings, and do stay tuned?
Summary: I smile at him as he sits there and stares off at the colors exploding in the sky. My hand clutches his just a bit more. "Happy Anniversary Rei." I tell him. He might not fully understand but I'm fine with reminding him later. My hand slides into my pocket and I can feel the ring box resting there. Yeah... I don't mind reminding him at all...
There was once earth. I remember back then when there was such thing as grass. When the sky could change color depending on the time of day. When birds flew and animals roamed. I also remember a time of war. War hurts people. It hurt me. Took my parents, my brother, and my mind.
I guess it’s easier to say that when I was young, the earth was fine. Small bursts of a child running after butterflies; that’s what I see as a reminder of that.
The war that happened, took away everything. What was left afterwards was just… horrific… to say the least.
Our home before was fine, no wars, no international affairs, no hatred. Just peace. Then the rebels came and destroyed everything. The army was forced to take them down and soon all that was left was a hell blazed land with buildings that kept falling and the screams of many. Our world of bright and beautiful colors became tarnished and covered in a drying layer of blood.
A blast that took out my home left me staring off into the world while I lay in my mother’s blood and I watched the down pour of bombs as they hit the earth in loud noises of pain.
The earth cried that night, washing away the pain it felt and the dirt on my cheek. I remember being found – being held and told it’s going to be alright kid – but I know deep down that no, no everything was ruined and gone.
I have to write these thoughts out on paper now when I can remember. Otherwise humanity will just slip away from me and I’ll forget. It’s rather funny to turn around and be talking to another researcher about logic and the physics of the rebels’ aircrafts and the next asking where I was and who my best friend was.
He laughs every time now. Nagisa is his name. I should keep it here just in case I don’t remember in a bit.
He’s kept me sane towards the times when I just can’t simply hold to what I want to remember for longer than an hour. I’m trying though.
The other day I can sort of remember being greeted by a group of soldiers from the army. They were nice men, there to protect our building while we tried to find a more efficient way to disable the rebel’s force fields. Those things are so bothersome…
One soldier sticks out though. A year or so older than me. Haruka. Nanase Haruka. He’s been assigned to watch over me on some nights but I can’t remember why. He just sits there, watches me go through my day. I forget he’s there a lot.
He’s asked me though if I was ever going to talk to him and I smiled and asked who he was. He told me and I told him my name. About three minutes later I stopped talking and he asked if he had said something wrong. Of course I looked at him, smiled, and asked who he was.
Haruka is very understanding as I have found out. For a soldier that has been out in the world and seen so much blood shed I sometimes wonder what goes on in his head. But until I can remember his name for more than ten minutes I won’t ask.
I like hearing Haruka talk. I ask him sometimes, even if I ask multiple times who he is or ask what he’s talking about I like hearing him talk.
He tells me stories of his experience in this battle to restore peace. Surprisingly enough I can remember those better than his name at times.
One story involved his dad. He said his father had come home with a child one day, a child with blue hair and broken red glasses. He said he became friends with the child but the child ran away at some point, not understanding anything about who the people around him were even when they told him he was safe with them and that they had been raising him for a few years by then.
I hope that boy is okay now, not too lost in this world of hatred and alive, healthy, and some place safe.
Haruka never told me the name of the boy, or at least… I don’t remember him saying anything.
Yesterday the soldiers had to leave, and Haruka promised he would return the next day. He wrote on my hand the time he said he would return with a small hug before leaving. His rusted and battered suit leaving through my door was what I saw before I sort of forgot his name again… At least I think I did.
I’m going to get dinner now. I’ll be back later to write more.
~~~~~~
Hi I’m Ryuugazaki Rei; I’m a researcher helping to hopefully stop this hateful war that happened some time ago. I don’t remember when it happened but I do remember that it’s getting terrible.
Today I’m with my fellow researcher; I don’t remember his name, only that he’s very bubbly and nice. We are working to help the army take down the rebels that are still trying to ruin what’s left of the world.
I don’t remember exactly why I’m writing…
The bubbly researcher just told me it’s for my health.
My health huh?
~~~~~~
My name is Ryuugazaki Rei, and today when I walked out of my room my best friend, or at least I think he’s my friend… came to me with a sad face. He said that what was left of the army is completely gone, and he gave me a hug saying he was so sorry. I looked at him with confusion though; honestly I don’t understand why he’s sad. It’s not like the world is ending just because the army is gone, we can manage.
~~~~~~
I found a note on my hand today; it says “I’ll be back at 15:00. Wait for me. Love Haruka”
I don’t know a Haruka though. Or at least I don’t think I do. I know that Nagisa is still upset for some reason as well. Everyone has been on edge lately and it’s so strange to see. I don’t understand much of what’s going on right now. But that’s ok, my brother will be home soon I know and then he’s going to tell me about how his day with training for the army went. It will be a good day I know it.
~~~~~~
14:00
Nagisa still hasn’t been back yet from leaving last night. He just smiled at me, hugged me and left without another word. I hope he comes back soon though, Haruka and the other soldiers will be returning soon and then we can celebrate.
I’m almost done with the device that will break the rebels’ force fields too. Nagisa isn’t even here to see it! But then again… neither are the other researchers… they all left at some point. Well when they come I’m sure they will be so proud to see the device finished. I know they will be happy and the peace can return.
~~~~~~
My name is Rei Ryuugazaki, and if you are reading this then you should know that a long, long time ago the world was a beautiful place, and that there was once an earth, people, and love.
But you should also know that I am and have been the last human in existence for almost five years.
I have a mental illness known as The Nanase Syndrome. My memory comes and goes every day, and I am unable to remember a large portion of life. Nanase was the last name of my husband. I don’t remember anymore what his first name is, but too keep him close at heart I named what I have after him. That way he’s always on my mind. This book and the other three in my bag are filled with my memories. I refuse to look at them though, I don’t want to remember. I know I am alone, how I got that way or how the world turned to such an unbeautiful place is unknown to me.
So if you find this book and the others, please read through them. Please remember my name and his.
Please.
(a/n) Soooo, no regrets, if you don't get it let me know, I'm sick for the third time in the past month. Happy New Years? Not so happy story? Yupp. Stay turned?
Merry Christmas (a day late but oh well I've been busy but its still here)
ReiHaruKou because I’m snorting, tired as hecky and hey merry Christmas doll your so worth it. (Extremely light editing and shorter than I'm used to, again I'm sorry i've been busy I'll write you a lot more later)
Also on AO3
Rei sits upright, a book in his lap and glasses sliding down his nose ever so slightly. His eyes drift across the page in a small flicker like the candle that sits on the side table next to him.
He feels the head resting on his shoulder twitch ever so slightly, the blanket curled around Haruka falling a bit. Rei glances at him but doesn’t move, the tiny redhead girl that’s using his lap as a pillow would wake if he did.
They both sleep, tired from the party that the families all had today. Rei stays awake though, reading in peace until he deems it a decent time to head to bed. For now however, he will stay and let his lovers rest against him. He doesn’t mind, finds it rather relaxing in truth.
Rei folded the book closed, keeping his thumb in it to mark his page. His gaze drifted to the Christmas tree – from the colorful presents to the ornaments scattered about the branches – smiling to himself he hummed a bit. Tomorrow would be a beautiful day, he thought.
Rei would wake up early as ever, with a dead arm from Kou sleeping on it and Haruka cuddled to his side. They had argued many nights before that Rei emanated the most warmth when winter hit so now Rei would sleep in the middle with his two dearest clinging to him and cold toes against his calves.
He would then carefully move the two, so they could cuddle together, before leaving the room to make take his morning jog during the early hour. When he returns, he’ll shower then cook breakfast, ignoring the presents with a smile.
When breakfast is made and served on three trays, he’ll take them upstairs to where his lovers sleep the day away. He’ll gently help them awake from slumber, Haruka with groan and curse the hour.
Kou will ask for his warmth back in bed, sleepy eyed and yawning. Rei will smile and move back to the middle while the other two lean against him and fiddle with the comforter.
When breakfast has been eaten and the two are more awake, Rei will allow them to go downstairs to open presents. Kou will most likely hop on Rei’s back as he carries her down the stairs, Haruka having already left with the dishes.
They will sit together on the floor with quiet chatter. Kou goes first, opening something from Haruka. Most likely it’s something he made her and she’ll squeal with delight before hugging him tight.
Rei would be next and open Kou gift to him. He can’t honestly guess what it would be but he’ll love it either way.
Haruka is last and for sure its Kou’s gift of new cooking utensils.
The cycle would continue and for sure there would be tears and laughter.
Kisses will then be exchanged and the day will continue, soon for them to pack and head to Makoto’s for dinner.
Haruka shifts again against his shoulder, this time waking up and yawning. “What time is it?” He asks Rei.
The younger smiles, kisses his head, and then sets the book aside. “Late enough to head up.” He responds.
Haruka nods, yawning once more. He gets up slowly, tightening the blanket around himself and moves to put out the candles around the room. Kou then stirs, blinking and mumbling up at Rei. “Bed time?”
He laughs a little at her then helps her sit up. Haruka moves over and sets the blanket down on the couch. “Come on Kou.” He reaches down, her arms going up to wrap around his neck as he lifts her. She nuzzles her face into his neck and wraps her legs around his waist. Rei laughs a bit as he watches Kou cling to Haruka like a small child.
It’s alright though; this is how she was when she was tired. Haruka and Rei just found it adorable.
The two start moving upstairs to bed and Rei follows close behind. He himself yawned a bit before admitting to be tired at all. But still, he’s smiling on the inside at the thoughts of tomorrow. Rei’s still doing the check list in his head, double checking that he had gotten everyone a present.
Soon they are in the bedroom, the lights have been turned off and Kou is waiting for Rei to crawl into the middle so she can latch onto his body heat. When he does crawl in, one of her legs wraps around him and she curls into him, her face lying on his shoulder. Next was Haruka. He flipped off the lights and crawled in next to Rei.
After the two were comfortable and stopped wiggling around Rei smiled just a bit more inside. These two, curled up at his sides, they loved him.
AU: Haru lives in Japan and Rei lives in France. They meet online.
Summary: Meet someone online, get to know them, become friends and carry on. DO NOT DATE THEM.
These terms were was Haruka saw on the website. He snorted a bit at the bold text and clicked 'continue'. Sometimes, you should read the terms and conditions. Just sometimes...
From: Butterfly
Hey
6:39
From: Nanase Haruka
You’re lucky I’m home.
2:40pm
From: Butterfly
Yes I know, I apologize as usual. But I promised I would text you when I woke up.
6:41
From: Nanase Haruka
Don’t apologize Rei, its fine.
2:44pm
From: Butterfly
I have a confirmation on the ticket.
6:44
From: Nanase Haruka
So early? It’s not for another four months.
2:45pm
From: Butterfly
I know, but I want to have them set and stone, that way I know for sure that I’ll be going.
6:45
From: Nanase Haruka
Ok then.
2:47pm
From: Butterfly
Are you excited at all?
6:48
From: Nanase Haruka
Of course Rei.
2:50pm
From: Butterfly
Good, I have to leave now so I’ll message you later.
6:50
From: Nanase Haruka
Alright.
~~~~~~
9:34pm
From: Butterfly
I’m getting more excited as the day draws near.
13:34
From: Nanase Haruka
Same.
9:35pm
From: Butterfly
Will you be out of school for when I am there?
13:35
From: Nanase Haruka
Yes.
9:35pm
From: Butterfly
Ok good.
13:36
From: Nanase Haruka
What about you?
9:37pm
From: Butterfly
Ah, classes here aren’t during the summer.
13:38
From: Nanase Haruka
Oh right, I forgot.
9:39pm
From: Butterfly
It’s alright.
13:39
From: Nanase Haruka
Hey Rei?
9:40pm
From: Butterfly
Yes Haruka?
13:40
From: Nanase Haruka
When you get here, I’m going to kiss you.
13:43
From: Nanase Haruka
Rei?
9:45pm
From: Butterfly
I apologize Haruka, I was…
13:46
From: Nanase Haruka
Blushing?
9:46pm
From: Butterfly
Yeah…
13:46
From: Nanase Haruka
Good.
13:47
From: Nanase Haruka
I will make you blush every day while you are here.
~~~~~~
15:23
From: Nanase Haruka
Rei?
11:23pm
From: Butterfly
Yeah?
15:24
From: Nanase Haruka
Nothing…
15:24
From: Nanase Haruka
I love you.
11:24pm
From: Butterfly
Go to sleep Haruka I know how late it is there.
15:25
From: Nanase Haruka
Not until you say it back.
11:25pm
From: Butterfly
Wouldn’t it be more meaningful when I say it in person?
15:25
From: Nanase Haruka
Please?
15:27
From: Nanase Haruka
Rei?
11:28pm
From: Butterfly
I love you too Haruka, Goodnight.
15:28
From: Nanase Haruka
Goodnight Rei.
~~~~~~
7:09pm
From: Butterfly
Only two more months
11:09
From: Nanase Haruka
Yeah.
7:10pm
From: Butterfly
Do you think your parents will like me?
11:10
From: Nanase Haruka
I’m not worried about that.
7:10pm
From: Butterfly
Your friends?
11:11
From: Nanase Haruka
I talk about you to them.
7:11pm
From: Butterfly
But will they like me?
11:11
From: Nanase Haruka
They are excited to meet you.
7:13pm
From: Butterfly
Really?
11:14
From: Nanase Haruka
Yeah, Makoto is with me right now, he says hello.
7:15pm
From: Butterfly
Well do inform Makoto I said hello as well.
11:16
From: Nanase Haruka
He laughed.
7:16pm
From: Butterfly
What?
11:17
From: Nanase Haruka
But it was a good laugh. A friendly one.
7:17pm
From: Butterfly
Ah, I do see what you mean.
11:20
From: Nanase Haruka
Rei?
7:21pm
From: Butterfly
Yes?
11:22
From: Nanase Haruka
They all will like you, I promise.
7:22pm
From: Butterfly
Thank you.
~~~~~~
6:47pm
From: Butterfly
It’s raining here
10:49
From: Nanase Haruka
Hmm
6:49pm
From: Butterfly
It makes me think of you every time it rains
10:50
From: Nanase Haruka
Why?
6:51pm
From: Butterfly
The first night we met, it was raining here.
~~~~~~
4:33pm
From: Butterfly
Haruka?
8:33
From: Nanase Haruka
Hmm?
4:33pm
From: Butterfly
Why do you love me?
8:34
From: Nanase Haruka
We will not go through this again, Rei
4:35pm
From: Butterfly
But I still feel like because I don’t live there with you, that I am holding you back…
8:36
From: Nanase Haruka
Rei
4:36pm
From: Butterfly
Yes?
8:36
From: Nanase Haruka
Go stare at that plane ticket.
8:36
From: Nanase Haruka
Go think about the day you will be here.
8:37
From: Nanase Haruka
Smile because you’re an idiot.
8:37
From: Nanase Haruka
And then message me when you are done with all three steps.
~~~~~~
9:53pm
From: Butterfly
Where will I sleep when I am there?
13:54
From: Nanase Haruka
My room.
9:54pm
From: Butterfly
Oh you have a spare bed?
13:56
From: Nanase Haruka
No.
9:57pm
From: Butterfly
Haruka…
13:58
From: Nanase Haruka
You are going to be here and I am going to hold you for the first time.
10:00pm
From: Butterfly
I know I know.
14:00
From: Nanase Haruka
Plus I need a new pillow.
10:01pm
From: Butterfly
Dully noted.
14:01
From: Nanase Haruka
Be my pillow Rei.
10:02pm
From: Butterfly
Go to sleep Haruka…
14:02
From: Nanase Haruka
Be
14:02
From: Nanase Haruka
My
14:02
From: Nanase Haruka
Pillow.
-Butterfly has logged off-
~~~~~~
6:06pm
From: Butterfly
A week from today.
10:06
From: Nanase Haruka
I can’t believe it’s here already.
6:07pm
From: Butterfly
Neither can I.
10:08
From: Nanase Haruka
I’m ready
6:08pm
From: Butterfly
I am not.
10:08
From: Nanase Haruka
Why?
6:12pm
From: Butterfly
Because eventually I will have to leave for France again…
10:12
From: Nanase Haruka
But we will plan for more.
6:13pm
From: Butterfly
What do you mean?
10:15
From: Nanase Haruka
When I’m done with high school, I’ll be going to live with you until you finish.
6:16pm
From: Butterfly
Haruka please don’t do that to yourself…
10:16
From: Nanase Haruka
It’s not for me.
10:16
From: Nanase Haruka
It’s for us.
10:16
From: Nanase Haruka
So deal with it.
6:18pm
From: Butterfly
Whatever you say Haruka.
~~~~~~
7:19
From: Nanase Haruka
Do you have everything packed?
3:20pm
From: Butterfly
Yes Haruka.
7:30
From: Nanase Haruka
And you have your ticket?
3:31pm
From: Butterfly
Yes Haruka.
7:33
From: Nanase Haruka
Okay…
3:34pm
From: Butterfly
Haruka please remember to breath.
3:34pm
From: Butterfly
I know you are nervous.
3:35pm
From: Butterfly
So am I.
3:35pm
From: Butterfly
But right now, just remember to keep breathing, I’ll be there before you know it.
3:35pm
From: Butterfly
Are you breathing?
3:40pm
From: Butterfly
Haruka?
7:41
From: Nanase Haruka
Yeah…
7:41
From: Nanase Haruka
Sorry…
3:41pm
From: Butterfly
It’s alright.
3:45pm
From: Butterfly
Hey.
7:46
From: Nanase Haruka
Yeah.
3:46pm
From: Butterfly
I love you. Remember that.
3:47pm
From: Butterfly
Also remember I didn’t go through the past two years with you for nothing.
3:47pm
From: Butterfly
You got that?
7:50
From: Nanase Haruka
I love you too.
3:50pm
From: Butterfly
Good.
~~~~~~
His leg bounced up and down in anticipation, waiting and wait, almost afraid but not quite. Leaning forward on his hand that was propped up on the leg not bouncing, Haru stared forward, waiting.
His friend, Rin Matsuoka sat next to him with his arms cross, leaning back against the wall. His irritation growing just slightly with every bounce Haru’s leg made.
Their other friend, Makoto Tachibana, sat on the other side of Haru, reading a book as they waited and humming every once in a while. He just smiled every time he took a glance at Haru, finding his actions rather amusing.
“For Christ sake Haru, he will be here when he gets here now calm the fuck down before I glue your feet to the fucking floor.” Rin groaned, sitting up right to glare at his friend.
Haru turned to him a sighed, mumbling a small apology.
“Don’t yell at him Rin, he’s only nervous.” Makoto chided, smiling as he set his book down and placed a comforting hand on Haru’s shoulder. “It’s ok Haru, he’ll be here soon.”
Around twenty more minutes pass in silence. The only sounds are that of the people around them there at the airport where they waited. The silence was a calming gift to Haru as he controlled his breathing slightly, everything was okay.
Rin looked from side to side until he spotted people coming from a terminal. He raised a brow, but waited just in case it wasn’t Rei’s plane. He didn’t want to get Haru’s hopes up on accident.
A lady in her thirties – dressed just like all the workers at the airport – came around pushing a younger male in a wheel chair after most of the other people had come and gone. Rin took a moment to focus in on the male in the wheel chair and noticed he pointed towards them for the lady pushing him. Rin then figured out why his gut had suddenly twisted in a knot when he saw the young male in the wheel chair.
“Oh shit…” he muttered, gaining Haru and Makoto’s attention. They followed his gaze and notice the man in the wheel chair being pushed closer and straight in their direction. Makoto sent a worried glance at Haru, surprised to find him only staring, mute as ever.
The lady pushed him till about five feet were left between him and Haru. He turned and thanked the kind woman and she smiled before walking off.
This man – a teen when seen close up – was just like the description Haru knew. Blue short hair. Red glasses. And a dorky sort of tone about him.
He pushed his glassed up before smiling at Haru with the kindest of smiles. “Hello Haruka. I’m Rei. Rei Ryuugazaki. It’s a pleasure to finally see you in person.”
Haru was silent. He had never known. He knew who Rei was, how he thought, what he looked like, what he liked, all those things and more. But he did not know… he didn’t know about the disability. Far from it.
Rin and Makoto sent worried glances at each other and the two in front of them. They didn’t know either, and they were fairly afraid for their friend. However, the red head and brunette waited patiently for their dark haired friend to react first.
It took a few moments.
But what surprised them more than anything was when Haru stood up, strode forward, and bent down enough to embrace Rei. He embraced him and buried his face in those blue locks he had wanted to feel and touch for the longest time.
A shaky sigh escapes his mouth.
He pulls away.
Only to pull the younger forward and their first kiss is shared. Rin and Makoto can’t help but smile – or roll their eyes as Rin does – but still are happy to see them together.
Haru pulls away after a long moment, smiling softly at the male in front of him, who he has wanted to meet ever since that first message he sent on accident.
“Hello Rei, I am Haruka, Haruka Nanase, and I still love you so much.”
(a/n) guess who's alive and not sorry? This author! Hugs all around and do stay tuned?
In celebration of me breaking my almost three week hiatus
here's part two to Their Guardian Angel (which is also going to be uploaded to AO3 later) light editing because my Editor in Chief has the day off.
Enjoy my writing again darlings!
~~~~~~
Rei sat quietly on the kitchen counter and watched Haru cook dinner. She was silent as always, still not able to speak but forced to stay revealed all thanks to her two boys.
It wasn’t that bad though, they were kind to her, talked to her, and let her in on more things. Rei still wasn’t able to do much, writing down her responses in slanted writings among different notebooks. Haru and Makoto never complained at the lack in voice from her, remaining patient when it took her longer to write a response.
Haru walked over and held out a piece of fish to her. She raised a brow at him and he rolled his eyes before holding it to her mouth. Rei was slow in taking, opening her mouth to eat the piece. After a moment she smiled at Haru and wrote on her little notepad ‘it’s really good Haruka’.
Haru gave a small smile back and went back to cooking.
It was a normal thing for her to sit and watch now, seeing as she didn’t actually know how to do certain things. She’s tried to help Haru cook before but that lead to a generous amount of burnt fish and a solemn Haru.
Makoto still reads to her but now the brunette has her sit in his lap with his head atop of Rei’s – despite her blushing face – and continues on reading. She will ask questions from time to time, not completely understanding an action done in the book or the way of speech. Makoto will beam brightly still and explain to her without hesitation.
So the whole situation was fairly different now that she practically lived with them. However she couldn’t sleep or at least has never felt the type of exhaustion her two boys feel when they watch movies together and suddenly she has two heads resting on her shoulders, soft and light breaths leaving the dosing males.
They’ve never minded, giving her other books to read from when they sleep or she will go exploring around the outside world until morning. However, there was never a morning where they didn’t wake up to her sitting on the desk, waiting for those blue and green eyes to open and meet her violet ones.
She looks up to see Makoto walk in from, a day of classes finally coming to an end. She is quick to bounce off the counter and pad over to the door where he stood removing his jacket. Rei takes the jacket from him to hang it while also removing his scarf to hang as well.
“Rei what have I told you? You don’t need to tend to our every need.” Makoto chuckles at her actions which gains a small glare. She removes a small notepad and pen from her jeans pocket, scribbling down a response.
‘There’s a difference between need and want Makoto.’
He shakes his head at her, toeing out of his shoes then guiding her back to the kitchen.
“How was class?” Haru asks, tilting his head to give Makoto a light peck when he was close enough. Rei returns to her spot on the countertop, resuming her watchful eye on the two of them.
Makoto gives an exhausted sigh, going to the fridge to retrieve the juice and pour himself a glass. “Class is class Haru; I’m getting by all right though. Rei-chan, do you want some juice?” The brunette turns to look at the girl in question, sees her nod, then turns back to grab another glass.
Soon they all sit to eat dinner, Rei is given half of what the other two eat as she still wasn’t used to eating large amounts, only starting to eat a few days after being forced to stay visible.
They chat, or more of Makoto talks about his day, Haru comments, and Rei listens. Occasionally writing down a question she has about Makoto’s college life for him to answer. It’s a peaceful feeling, being around the two of them instead of sitting of to the side only able to watch and listen. While she still only really does that, she can at least touch them now, talk to them, and be with them as she pleases.
Makoto has been fairly affectionate since the whole ordeal happened, giving her hugs which she flushes horribly at and complimenting her in different ways which lead to her rolling her eyes because she doesn’t feel like she deserves them.
Haru was a little different though, light touches and facial expressions that make her face heat up. The times when he’s so gentle with her make her smile the most. When he tried to teach her how to cook she had burned her hand and he was quick but careful about tending to her burn, running it under cold water while muttering apologizes that made no sense to her at the time, but still she smiled at his kindness.
From the corner of her eye she saw Makoto stretch and then finish his glass of juice. “I’m gonna study for a bit now.”
“Let me know if you need help.” Haru said, still eating away at his dinner. Makoto leaned to his right to give the dark haired boy a kiss on the lips with a smile and a mumbled ‘sure thing’. He then leaned to his left where Rei sat to kiss her cheek like he normally did.
This time however, Rei turned her head just slightly and was caught off guard when warm lips met her own.
She squeaked. But it was audible. It was an actual noise that came from her and the depths of her throat.
Makoto pulled away quickly, a blushing mess and rushed apologizes were heard.
But Haru said nothing. Haru stared a bit wide eyed at the girl sitting across the table from him.
Rei covered her mouth with her hand and glanced between the two males in the room.
“Rei?” Haru questioned her. Makoto took this moment to stop apologizing and look between Rei and Haru.
Rei uncovered her mouth slowly, her eyes searching for an answer. “y-yes?” She gasped at the sound of her voice. Light and cracked, but still there. There were two other small gasps that followed.
“You can talk?” Makoto scooted closer to her with a large smile on his face.
“I- I didn’t know.” She tried her voice out again and smiled a bit at him, but was still fairly shocked. Makoto’s smile only grew in size while Haru moved around the table to be next to her.
“You only talked after Makoto kissed you… Is this of importance?” He asked her, curious but at the same time happy to hear her voice.
“I- I really don’t… I don’t know.” She repeated. Fear started to overtake her eyes as she slowly thought about the consciences. Then she was suddenly turned and a different set of lips were on hers. When they pulled away Haru stared at her and her face grew pink.
“Please don’t do that without a warning Haruka!” She half-heartedly shouted at the dark haired male who smirked slightly in return.
“I didn’t like the fear I saw.” He responded, a hand reaching up to twist with her long hair.
“This is so strange though…” Rei said, her voice cracking a few more times. Makoto got up then and returned with a glass of water for her. She sipped it a bit while the other two seemed to just gravitate closer to her.
“I’m rather happy about it.” Makoto hummed.
“Keep talking for us Rei.” Haru requested making the blue haired girl blush harshly and smack Haru’s leg.
“You both should stop using the rules I live by as ways to get what you want, honestly it’s rather unfair to me and another thing using these rules just so I’ll do whatever you say? I would rather you not do such thi-“ Rei had to stop because her voice started cracking again and she coughed a bit. Makoto was quick to raise the glass of water to her lips for her. She drank the water a bit embarrassed but then the other two laughed.
“I rather like this side of you.” Makoto smiled while Haru nodded.
“I rather just like you.” Haru admitted, going in to kiss Rei again after she put down the glass. Rei just stared at him until he pulled away.
Makoto thought for a moment before agreeing with his boyfriend. “Yeah, same here.” He then replaced Haru’s lips with his own and soon Rei was just too much of a blushing mess to care and she just curled into a ball, unable to handle the emotions she felt.
But Makoto laughed and brought her into his lap, holding her tight and then pulled Haru to his side to hold as well.
She was meant to look after them, guide them, and show them their way.
She was not meant to fall in love with the two of them in no way shape or form.
But fate had a really bad way of saying fuck the rules.
question: you are totally welcome to feel both ace and pansexual some days, that is an ok thing, but i was wondering if you possibly meant panromantic in your post? because that might fit what you feel more. sorry if im mistaken, i was just wondering if you had considered id-ing as panromantic instead as it seems to be more how you express attraction.
Ahahaha, is that what they call it? *sigh* all these names and nothing to remember them by. You are completely in the right though doll, nothing wrong with it or questioning it I promise.
To be truthful though cutie anon, labels these days are piling up and sometimes people can’t remember them. Kinda like I don’t always remember what the actual names are called and what not. Here on tumblr it is just more known I am Ace!Remorse than Pan!Remorse. Reason being is because that’s one too many labels.
It’s been known to me for years I’m pansexual, however just recently I have discovered in myself to have a large distaste for dicks and the idea of ‘sex’.
My friends refer to me as ‘lesbian’ or ‘gay’. One friend refers to me as ‘the grey pansexual’. All are just labels to me. In truth I refer to myself as ‘the idiot’.
I want people to acknowledge the Ace part more than the Pan here where I don’t have to hide it.
*sigh* ok rant aside. I get that it’s the ‘new name for the two sexualities’ and I appreciate you telling me (I have the memory span of a peanut). I also get that ‘hey it’s the shorter way of writing it’ but it’s still the same I think. Yeah… still the same. : )
Panromantic. Asexual Pansexual. A person who is attracted to everyone but not sexually. Same thing. It’s just how you word it that matters I guess.
I’m an idiot artist that also writes in their spare time. Sexuality aside, that’s truly what I am. An idiot.
Thank you for asking though you cutie. I hope you had a great day and have an even greater day tomorrow. ^-^
This has been requested by an anon as a prompt for my 100 days with Haru and Rei challenge and is now Day 19 but I can't link for shit so I'll just reboob it to my writing blog if people wish to read it.
Requested by: Hey reirygazaki (oh god I'm sorry for the tag again), recently I had a cute little anon ask for me to write about one of your ReiHaru posts (its the summary) and I do hope I didn't ruin this or anything for you or the cute anon. (I can't link I'm so sorry I suck)
Summary: Haru's ways to get Rei from not going on his run and staying in bed with him... (prompt by Reirygazaki)
Not that Haruka was complaining or anything. Those arms that held him at night were definitely something he loved to no end. In reality he secretly loved the physic of his boyfriend but at the same time he secretly held a strong dislike for when the other left him to sleep alone in their shared bed in the morning.
Now Haruka has made several attempts at keeping his boyfriend from going on his morning jog in hope of a few more hours of warm sleep.
He’s attempted to hide his track clothes. Seeing as he was awake to spot where they were put when Rei returned, he had no problem in taking them from the top drawer in the dresser and hiding them away in one of the few boxes that was still left packed after their move.
This resulted in Rei looking around for about twenty minutes for that set of track clothes before sighing and moving to the bed. The creek in the bed as it dipped made Haruka almost smile. Almost being the key word though. He felt Rei lean over him and peck his cheek before moving away from the bed.
“Nice try Haruka.” Was heard from the younger. Haruka turned to see what he was talking about only to find Rei going to the dresser to pull out a different running outfit and disappear into the bathroom.
Haruka deflated against the bed, blowing the hair out of his face with a huff. Damn. He would have to try again tomorrow.
The next attempt he was sure to hide both pairs in the way back of the top cabinet while Rei took a night shower. He was sure the other would never be able to find them this time unless he looked hard enough.
When morning came and Rei got out of bed, Haruka turned over to get a better glance at the digital clock sitting on Rei’s bedside table. Ten minutes rolled by, then fifteen, twenty, twenty five…
Half an hour rolled away and Rei joined him in the bedroom again and stared at Haruka with a raised brow.
“Haruka, next time try to remember I can see in higher places than you; also don’t forget to move the stool.” He said to him and bent down to kiss his forehead before going into the bathroom to change. Haruka simply hid his head under the comforter with another huff. Damnit…
His third attempt was something he was sure was full proof. Once he was sure Rei had fallen asleep and wouldn’t wake up at any of his movements, Haruka slipped out of bed. His boyfriend had such a strict sleeping schedule so Haruka was positive the blue haired male wouldn’t wake up as he moved around to his side of the bed. Carefully, he unplugged the digital clock that Rei used as an alarm in the morning. He was quick in going to hide it. He had thought about the hiding place for it all day and finally decided on the same box he kept a bunch of his own art supplies in.
When morning came he was surprised to walk up only to movement and not an alarm blaring into his ears. Rei had turned over onto his back and brought Haruka with him, holding him against his chest with a loose arm around his waist. The older male cracked an eye open with a satisfied smirk then curled into Rei more.
Then Rei woke up. To his watch alarm. Shit…
As days passed Haruka tried harder to get the other to stay in bed longer. Hiding both his alarms, both his sets of running clothes, even pouting. Yes, Haruka Nanase had resorted to pouting one morning when the other had gotten up and left Haruka freezing cold in bed. This was of course due to it being winter and lack in a working heater that day.
The older male had used pouting and batted his eyes at Rei, everything he could do because fuck the idea of being woken up so early, he was cold.
What surprised him more than anything else was when Rei apologized and got back into bed, bringing Haruka close to himself and ran a hand through his hair. Oh, ok he didn’t mean to make him feel guilty but it was worth it since the hours started going by and all they did was stay in bed together.
That was one day though. The first day he had gotten Rei to stay in bed with him instead of go out and run. And damn was he happy about it.
After that he was a bit more lenient in letting him go in the morning. Rei would get up and make sure Haruka was asleep more often, resulting in the older not knowing he actually left until he woke up to Rei coming home. Haruka has, however, still tried to make him stay in bed, but it’s less often.
Then there was the day that Haruka got sick. The one day where his mackerel actually went bad but he still ate it and had gotten food poisoning.
Rei was still kind and loving, helping him through it and going out during a down pour of rain to get him medicine to ease his stomach. Haruka could not deny how much he also loved Rei staying home the next day from classes to take care of him, saying he would stay until he was better. He honestly didn’t know what he would do without Rei there.
Now when Rei shifted the very next morning, craning his neck to see out the window and make a small hum at the fact that it wasn’t raining anymore, the dark haired male was almost sure he wasn’t ready for the other to leave. Haruka was placed on his chest with Rei holding onto him. They had fallen asleep like that after the older threw up a few more times and was too exhausted to move from the bathroom floor. Rei eventually picked him up and brought him to bed, rubbing his back soothingly until the other was fast asleep.
Rei looked down at his boyfriend on his chest and ran a light hand down his back and back up again.
“Haruka, I have to get up now.” His voice was just above a whisper as his hand came up to card through Haruka’s hair delicately.
“Mmm…” the older male moaned out, shifting up to lay his head on the other’s shoulder.
“Please? I’ll be right back and you can go back to sleep.” Rei turned his head to kiss Haruka’s softly and the older just mumbled before turning his face to bury it in Rei’s neck.
“No…”
“How are you feeling?” Rei asked him, kissing the same spot on his head once more with a bit of guilt. He hated seeing his boyfriend sick of all things and seeing him with food poisoning where he would barely eat anything and moan in pain was the absolute worst.
Haruka moved to bury his face further into Rei’s neck, “Please… stay here today. I don’t want you to leave…” he mumbled softly, tightening his hold on Rei.
The younger’s heart clenched at this. Yup, definitely the worst thing to watch. So with a sigh, Rei moved an arm back over Haruka and held him close.
“Alright Haruka… I’ll stay.”
He could feel the smile that formed against his skin from Haruka and couldn’t help but smile a bit himself.
“Thank you…”
(a/n) I hope you guys enjoyed it, I tried and I'm sorry. I put off anatomy to write this for you now I gotta go do homework. Stay tuned?
(Original story not part of the ReiHaru challenge) One day I hope you'll hear me out about how much of a child I still am. The voice you hear isn't the same as all my fears. Darkness still scares me, holds a vice grip on me and all I want is a hug to make it let me go. I want you to hear my cries at night when I struggle to sleep because I'm so afraid. So afraid to sleep that I'd rather stay awake. You don't comfort me like before, trying to deal with your own pain so I shy away, not wanting you to think of me as the child I really am. I still cling to father, at least he knows of my fears. He's heard me scream before because I couldn't handle the silence. I can't scream anymore though. I can't cry out loud, only cling to my pillow as the tears drown me. As a child, I was so caged that I allowed my mind to be so free. Now my mind is far and gone, allowing so much more to come and attack me. Now I walk a tight rope. Ready to fall at any minute. When I do, I'll be falling so fast and so far that the chances of my survival are a million to one.
AU: Um… let’s go with Idk but it’s an AU of sorts. If I said anything more it would give away the story.
Summary: Music shows one’s life if one listens close enough…
The keys seemed to move like water in a small stream did. Smooth, light, and a continuous flow as delicate fingers moved across them, only leaving the sound they made left afterwards. The sounds of the piano drifted around the room, making the emptiness of the vast music room seem even bigger. Eyes closed in concentration showed the maker of said music only needed to feel and hear, not see anything.
The opened doors to a balcony stood at the back of the room about twenty feet away from the piano, the curtains moving with the soft wind that passed through and into the large room. A lone man stood outside, leaning against the balcony with a lone class of wine to his left. His arms folded under him as he relaxed against the railing. His eyes watched the city life from down below. The house in which they were in sat upon a hill about a mile away so all one had to do was look out to see the vibrant city below.
The notes lightened a bit and the male on the balcony hummed in appreciation towards the music. The loose long sleeved shirt moved slightly with the wind as he listened in, his pants shielding his legs from getting too cold as well.
He looked back to the house to keep an eye on the musician before taking his glass and sipping the contents of it with the same hum from before. The male then turned to walk back inside, the pads of his feet making unnoticeable sounds against the flooring compared to the piano. Slowly the male walked until he was behind the piano player. He placed his wine glass down on a nearby table then moved his arms gracefully around the musician’s shoulders and leaned against him, listening silently to the music.
Eventually it came to an end, light notes becoming lighter until the last trailed off and all that was left was the silence that the large music room emanated. The male standing behind the musician placed gentle kisses to the musician’s neck. “That was beautiful Rei, thank you.”
“You really liked it?” Rei asked turning his head to face the other. A kiss was placed to his lips and he smiled with faint pink rising in his cheeks.
“I always love whatever you play for me.” Another kiss to the musician’s lips then one to his forehead.
“Thank you Haruka.” Rei mumbled.
Haruka hummed and stood straight, reaching over and grabbing his wine glass then slipped a hand into Rei’s. “Come, I want to spend the afternoon together before you go to classes.”
Rei didn’t argue, only followed him out of the room and down a few halls before they reached a bedroom. Simple it was, a large bed and another balcony with the doors left open, a few paintings hung on the walls and a large rug met their feet when they stepped in.
Haruka released Rei’s hand, going over to set his glass down on a table that was placed before the balcony doors so one could sit inside but still look out. He was quick to go back over to Rei and guide him to the bed, sitting him down at the foot of it. He himself sat on Rei’s lap and ran feather like hands underneath Rei’s shirt. Rei got the idea and removed the article of clothing with a bit of help from Haruka. The shirt was placed on the floor, followed by the other’s a few moments after.
Haruka placed his lips to Rei’s once more; these kisses were gentle and light, nothing deep nor meaning to be filled with more passion than needed. Rei hummed with it before pulling away. “Everything alright Haruka?”
“Don’t speak.” He told the musician before tilting his head to place light kisses onto Rei’s neck. The musician wrapped thin arms around Haruka’s waist, gripping onto him with such love that made Haruka hum with delight. He enjoyed these moments when they just told each other how much they loved one another with no words just actions.
Such simple things made Haruka feel truly loved, they made him want to hold onto Rei tighter and never let the world have him. He felt that he himself was never good enough for Rei.
Being of a richer standard than Rei meant he could have who he wanted. His family was of some of the best musicians and doctors yet he was the lone artist. He himself wanted nothing more than to do things himself and be free to do as he pleased. So being left alone in such a big house made him lonely, being in the city made him uncomfortable, and being among friends made him… wish for something more.
That was until he met Rei. The young musician was being tutored by his uncle and Haruka happened to meet him one day when he had a scheduled lunch with his uncle. Such beauty he saw in the man that made him want nothing more than to hold him.
It didn’t take long for them to go from strangers to where they were now. Together. With complications of course but they made it through.
So now, as Haruka lay in his bed with Rei, alone in the empty house with nothing but the calming noise of Rei’s breathing, Haruka really felt like he could be someone more than the son of famous doctors and musicians.
His eyes fluttered open and the realization came that he had fallen asleep. Looking around, the space where Rei used to be was empty. Haruka sat up to look around more and his eyes landed on the figure outside on the balcony.
With a sigh he slid off the bed to go to the man he loved and wraps his arms around his middle.
“You shouldn’t do that, I get worried.” His voice was soft, light and just above a whisper.
“I apologize, you had fallen asleep and I had gotten too warm.”
“Then wake me next time… please.” Haruka squeezed his middle more and a rumble in the other’s body told him he was laughing.
“You worry all too much Haruka.” Rei said and turned around in the hold to bring Haruka closer. “All too much…”
“I will always worry… I don’t want anything to happen to you.”
“You sound like I did when I was caught up on the idea that you only took pity upon me and that was why you dated me.” Rei ran a hand through the other’s hair, soft fingers gliding along his scalp.
“Your condition will never hinder my reasoning.” Haruka said into the skin of Rei’s shoulder.
“My blindness you mean…” Rei laughed once more and he kissed the other’s temple.
“Yes… your lack in being able to see.” Haruka did not find it funny but did relax against Rei’s chest.
The wind continued to blow over them and the silence was something of golden to them.
Rei might’ve always been blind, but Haruka still fell in love and he never regretted a moment of those times where Rei had talked to a wall instead of him, or the times he thought he was drinking wine but instead it was sake.
None of it was a regret as long as he could fall asleep with someone in his arms at night, listen to that beautiful music the other could perform, and most of all, kiss someone who shared the same feeling towards him.
Money never bought love, and Rei’s blindness never hindered the love that Haruka had.
(a/n) This was an experiment of sorts. And yes plot twists are my best friend. ahahah, I don’t regret anything but I’ll most likely be posting more days in a bit. Stay tuned?
Summary: They told him he would fail; they told him it would never work. If Rei had just given up though and left it at never being able to complete his project he wouldn’t have Haruka with him now. But he continued, regardless of those who said he couldn’t. He continued, because it was worth the end result…
November 3
Journal entry #78
Progress: incomplete
I built him so I wouldn’t be so alone. He has and is part of me in a way that I can’t explain. I’ve given him all the movement and capability of human beings. He’s perfect and beautiful. He’s everything I dreamed he would be. The board had shut me down the minute I brought up the project but if they saw me know… I think I’d have accomplished something far greater than anything they ever tried before.
This time though, after I turned him on, and his eyes opened – those blue eyes that I built him with – when they blinked once then twice, I had hope.
He tilted his head to the left, then the right he seemed to be examining me. He lifted those hands I spent days working on and turned them every which way before moving the fingers. He looked to transfixed on the appendages that he must have forgotten I was there. So I simply said a small ‘hello’ to him.
His head had then snapped up and I could see his pupils focusing in, meaning those receptors were working perfectly. He focused on my for a moment, tilted his head to the side, and then spoke back a small ‘hello?’
I have done it though. I have created a living robot that works just like a human.
This is fantastic.
~~~~~~
November 5
Journal entry #80
Progress: getting there
In the past few days I’ve taught him how to speak and how to communicate with me. He’s very monotone but I don’t think I mind much. I’ve told him about where he is, who I am and how he came to be.
He tried calling me ‘creator’ but I insisted he just call me Ryuugazaki-san. He does not have a name though, and I don’t know of one to give him.
He’s very interested in my fish though, the lone guy I keep in a decent sized fish bowl on my counter.
I think I’ll just call him Haruka, the same name my fish has. At least for now.
~~~~~~
November 9
Journal entry #83
Progress: it could be better
Things are moving slow with trying to get him to understand emotions. He’s getting the concept but showing them is going to take some work.
Haruka’s motion is all good and cleared. There was a slight problem when he attempted to move his arm in a complete rotation but I fixed it and documented it.
Other than that things are running smoothly and it’s nice to actually have someone else in the house.
~~~~~~
November 15
Journal entry #90
Progress: Good
In the past week, I have taught him cooking, cleaning, and a few other various skills. His cleaning skills are remarkable, and he does a better job than me at certain things. While I am busy working on other inventions or science things he cleans for me. I’ve told him not to worry about it but he tells me a clean working environment is better.
This personality he is developing shows he’s truly like an actual human. All that work I put into his brain work seems to be working brilliantly.
His skills with cooking are also something of a creation that I like, although I can’t seem to get him to stray away from eating just sea food. His tasting abilities are spot on, he’s very good at telling the differences in spices too which makes me happy to know.
I think it’s safe to say that he’s developing just like I had hoped.
~~~~~~
November 17
Journal entry #93
Progress: still good
Haruka seems to like water, but sadly I didn’t make him waterproof so I have to keep him away from it until I can program that into his system. First I have to develop the program. It’s a work in progress because I knew at some point he would need it. For now I just keep him inside when it starts to rain.
He works well on the other hand, cleaning for me when I’ve forgotten and even making me dinner when I’m alone working on his waterproof program late into the night. Haruka is a good person as far as I can say him to be a person.
I don’t refer to him as a robot however; in fact I never use the word. I call him only Haruka or sometimes Haru. He calls me Rei and only every once called me creator but that was back when I first turned him on. I insisted that he call me Ryuugazaki but the moment he found out about my first name he refused to call me anything but that.
Still, the progress in his development before he’s able to function on his own is just a few days away from being complete.
I don’t really know what to do with him after that though. My goal was to create someone who wasn’t human but at the same time was. Haruka thinks, acts, breaths, sees, and moves all on his own but once I’ve taught him all the basics and important things to which he needs to survive as a human I don’t know what else to do, my work will be complete as far as I can say. Yet when he shows some emotions that I’ve taught him other than blank, bored, or annoyed, I can’t help but feel something, as if I’ve created more than just… more than just Haruka.
It feels like I’ve created a friend.
~~~~~~
November 26
Journal entry #100
Progress: complete
It seems as if this is my last journal for the progress of my creation.
I’m sorry no, not creation. I’ve done as much creating as I can; now Haruka is a person. He’s a human being as much as I am.
I still can’t believe I’ve finished my work. I honestly would never have believed I could get to where I am right now.
Honestly, when I go to my meeting next month to update my fellow colleges on my projects, I think I’ll me more than pleased to see their faces when I bring in Haruka.
For now though, I don’t believe I need to write anymore. I believe that I’m truly done with this project and now I’ll be able to put this journal away on the completed shelf.
Good. This is good…
~~~~~~
“Rei?” I turn to look at Haruka as he comes in the room with a cup of coffee in his hand. He hands it to me and I thank him before sipping it slowly. “Did you finish your journal?” He questions, looking to the opened notebook on my desk.
“I did, you are now complete and I can move on to other things.” I smile, feeling accomplished with myself for the first time in a long while. I’m so used to things blowing up in my face and chemicals burning into my skin from failure after failure. Things normally don’t go my way but this one time when I was put down for not being able to do it, I did.
I feel two arms wrap loosely around my neck and a smile graces my lips. Haruka is leaning on me to see the notebook on my desk with a closer eye. He’s always tried to sneak a peek at my journals to read what I write about him.
Haruka hums in my ear. I see him reach for a pencil and then his arm blocks my view as he writes in my journal.
“Haru, I can’t see, what are you writing?” I ask trying to move him but not by much. He pulls away eventually to hang on my shoulders again. I look down at my journal page and my smile only widens.
Progress: complete and happy
Yes, that seems to work just fine for me. I am happy. Haruka is also happy as he hums more into my ear.
“So I get to meet all those people who were rude to you?” he asks me and I chuckle before turning my chair around in him hold, his arms still wrapped loosely around my neck.
“You do, and you’re going to make a lot of people feel extremely bad.” I tell him the wipe away some dust and flour stuck to his cheek with my thumb.
Haruka hums again; the sound is a pleasant one. He leans down more and gives me a light peck on the lips. “Good, I want them to pay for what they have said to you. Now then what should we do for dinner?”
I chuckle and get up from my seat to follow him to the kitchen. My notebook is left alone and opened on my desk and I think I will leave it there for a while, spend some time with this man that has become a part of my life in the past month. What I write in the journal and what actually happens in my life are two different things. After all, the difference between science and screwing around (with my science) is writing it down.
Besides, Haruka was the one that demanded to know how to feel love first handedly.
(a/n) I’m not dead (but stress is just a weakness for the dead ahaha), but I don’t know why this took me a week to write… Stay tuned?