Sometimes I just want someone to come and say, “I’m here, you’re not alone anymore."
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@fiercelilbun
Sometimes I just want someone to come and say, “I’m here, you’re not alone anymore."
ana always comes back. i find myself thinking "why can't i get better?" — but i realised; i don't want to get better. quite frankly i enjoy it. the emptiness in my stomach, the lack of energy, but most of all; the euphoria of seeing the scale drop. i can't get 'better' because i don't want to, the only thing i want is to get worse. to be valid, sick enough.
anyone with m1a/a4a and over 18 wanna be friends ;-;
hate that i have to learn and live this way now. is what it is.
literally don't know what to do with myself ever, i need a stimulant so bad :<
for you, literally anything
you have to fall in love with hunger. not just tolerate it, but enjoy it. it means it's working.
reblog if youre an active wl account
i need to be skinny by 2026
i need to be skinny by 2026
i need to be skinny by 2026
i need to be skinny by 2026
i need to be skinny by 2026
i need to be skinny by 2026
i need to be skinny by 2026
i need to be skinny by 2026
i need to be skinny by 2026
i need to be skinny by 2026
i need to be skinny by 2026
i need to be skinny by 2026
i need to be skinny by 2026
i need to be skinny by 2026
i
need
to
be
skinny
by
2026.
i f i a m n o t s k i n n y b e f o r e j a n u a r y i
t h i n k i w i l l l o s e m y s h i t ! ! ! !
its so crazy to me how ive been saying this to myself for every year since 2020, and as the years go by i get more and more depressed that im not who i want to be.
— Mary Lambert, Shame Is an Ocean I Swim Across; "You Are with the Wrong Person" (via lunamonchtuna)
just me venting but im seriously so sick of myself. its hard having an ed as an adult, i feel like everything is on pause and has been on pause since i was 14 because i wanted to be thin and feel content with myself but that never happened and all i have to show for it is terrible habits and one of the worst coping mechanisms. i dont want to lose hair or have dry skin but i crave being small, cold, and high off of starving. my ed is not for attention but i cant help but remember how much sweeter people were towards me when i was the most sick and fragile. it makes me feel terrible because internally im still just as fragile and I've always been.
losing so much weight that i become a new person
i be like “3ating d1sorder? nahhh i’m 3ating dis 0rder😝😝”
me immediately after eating the order:
I love the ritual of weighing myself every morning, it feels so cleansing.
Not even a sip of water is allowed before. Go to the bathroom, take everything off. Weigh myself about five to seven times to make sure. Letting the sink in and put me in the right mindset for the day. Noting it down and comparing it to previous weights and my goals. Putting it in in three different apps and the bmi calculator.
Just as it's meant to be.
In case you need to hear this,
~ That craving will last 10 minutes. Your body will last a lifetime. Choose wisely. Hunger isn’t an emergency. You’re just used to overfeeding yourself.
~ That food isn’t worth it. You’ve already felt the regret before. You’ve had enough comfort. Now you need consequences.
~ The body you want isn’t built through cravings, it’s built through control. Eating because you’re bored? Congrats, you just gave up progress for entertainment.
~ You don’t need motivation. You need to grow up and do what needs to be done. You’ll never be proud of yourself if you keep choosing what’s easy.