greetings & salutations, friends old & new:
you may have noticed my absence as of late (or you didn’t, i don’t know – my presence isn’t, in the grand scheme of things, all that consequential). i was hoping to put off this announcement for as long as humanly possible, since my close friends know my decision and it didn’t seem like a big deal to just not say anything. but here we are. and here’s my announcement:
I HAVE RETIRED FROM TUMBLR RP.
i’m sad to have to say this, as tumblr and roleplaying have been a huge part of my life for the past three years. i met my roommates RPing. i met some of my best friends, some of the finest humans imaginable, and because of this website, i can say that i actually have an archnemesis or two. which is kinda cool. someone out there hates me because i made them lose a few followers, which is fucking awesome. (originally, i was going to namedrop here, but i decided to show some class. mark it on your calendars because it might be the first and last time in my life.)
and that’s the thing. people take this whole roleplaying thing too seriously. it’s not that serious. guys. look me in the eyes. IT’S NOT THAT SERIOUS. people get caught up in how many followers they have, tying their self-worth to the number of people that they want to pretend to be fictional characters on the internet with. don’t let it get that big in your mind. don’t let this shit bog you down. in the grand scheme of things, you’re not going to be quizzed about how many followers your writing got you. you’re not going to be asked how many notes your sweet promo got. you might feel bad for the way you participated in a call-out post or how you treated a stranger, though.
originally, i RP’ed because it was fun. then i got a head full of elitist bullshit because i was the only one playing an in-demand character and because of (some of) the company i kept. when i left that blog and realized what a shitty person i had become, tumblr didn’t go back to being fun. it still made me paranoid. it made me sad, or angry. possessive or mean. now, this website tends to make me uncomfortable. i thought about retiring hux, specifically, to go back to my clint barton or bucky barnes blog – but the marvel rp fandom is possibly the most toxic sludge pile on the internet and i want no part of it. and then i thought about my daryl dixon blog and realized – oh wait. the walking dead rp fandom is pretty fucking terrible too.
i don’t want to be in a community like the one that the tumblr rp community has devolved into.
if anyone should want to keep in contact – well, those of you i’ve wanted to speak to, i’ve spoken to. most of you probably only cared about me in the context of my character – WHICH IS FINE. that’s what fandom rp is supposed to be about. i have my own original work to get into, and i might start a new personal blog to post my fanfics on. if you’d like to donate to my top surgery fund, you certainly can, though i’m sure that you won’t.
all right, guys.
may the bridges i burn light the way.
xo jackson
