<p>So we’ve been in a relationship for a little over a year now. <br />I remember thinking I would have butterflies all the time, my heart beating faster when I see you in the halls or around school, about cuggling together when we have sleepovers. And trust me I still do get butterflies during all these times but now it’s a little different. <br />When I see you everything calms down. My heart doesn’t speed up but it all slows down. I feel calm and secure and the sound of beating carries me towards comfort. It doesn’t feel like a roller coaster anymore it feels like home. <br />I noticed towards the end of the semester we stopped intertwining ourselves to be one. Instead, we slept comfortably, side by side, sometimes facing different directions. But every night, I found myself scooting backwards on the bed so I bump into you. I cuggled against your arm, or stroked your hair as we fell asleep. There are nights when in your sleep, would reach around me and pull me into you, like a child with a teddybear. In the wee hours of the morning before the dawn breaks, when the world is blue and we saw through cracked eyes, I curled into your chest and inhaled before drifting back to sleep. <br />Kisses aren’t just romantic and fiery anymore, but there are so much more of them now. There are cold kisses when we’re eating ralphs in the summer, and sticky kisses over dinner. There’s “im leaving now” kisses, and “one more kiss before you go” kisses. There’s sleepy morning kisses before work, when you don’t remember the alarm going off but instead the press of ur lips against mine is what brings us into the day. There’s kisses before sleep, and, you are so sweet with the things you do kisses. There’s kisses because you treat animals so tenderly, and I’m so glad i’m with you and not someone else kisses.<br />We don’t always text each other with confessions of love and care like we used to, because that’s a given now, and we’ve moved on to quirky inside jokes about the life we’ve built together. we share looks of exasperation and amusement in public, our own little world against the outside one. <br />Sometimes love looks like this… going shopping together or finding that your love snuck the prettiest cluster of flowers into your room. Long, honest, open talks that fill you up and make you feel safe and heard and cared for. Spontaneous weekend trips to the ocean. Sweet words. All the kisses all the time. Trust. Growth. Hugs when one is needed.<br />Sometimes love looks like this… Staying up til midnight arguing; tears, dark eyes, crossed arms. Shaky communication skills. Circular conversations that leave you drained. Feeling betrayed. Feeling distant. Feeling alone. Feeling misunderstood. Unmet expectations. Unforeseen change.<br />The challenge is to love, respect, and honor the other person in both scenarios: no more and no less. Love should not be conditional. Love shouldn’t shift based on circumstances.<br />Relationships aren’t always a fairy tale. They’re not always fireworks and sparks, at least, after the start. But they are a quiet rhythm and hum of love and care. It’s not just a fire in my soul, but one in my heart, keeping me warm and comfortable.<br />And I love that.</p>
