ADAM DRIVER // have you met KYLO REN yet? HE is a/an TWENTY - NINE year old MALE HUMAN. they’re originally from CHANDRILA and now show loyalty to THE FIRST ORDER. they are best known for being a/an commander, and i hear they’re pretty INQUISITIVE yet also IMPULSIVE at times; i hope they survive the clone wars. ( PARKER, 20, EST, SHE + HER )
his mother frequently described him as a ball of light while in utero — one tainted with strips of darkness. which, just so happens to be how one would describe him throughout his childhood as well. with the empire destroyed, light flourished throughout the galaxy. ben solo grew up bathed within this light — loved by everyone around him. despite this, the young force user struggled to hold onto the light. terrified of the things that lurked within the darkness, ben rarely slept through the night. the feat was nearly impossible… night terrors ravaged every minute he spent unconscious. unless held by one of his parents, or chewbacca. from his early years, he was dubbed a troubled child. they just didn't understand — couldn't comprehend the nightmares brought on by the darkness lingering at the edges of his life. the only place he was truly happy was on chewie's shoulders . gaze frozen on his father as he worked — he wanted nothing more than to follow in his father's footsteps and become a pilot.
as he grew the darkness ebbed closer . it worsened when he was sent to the jedi temple to train with luke. ben didn't want anything to do with the force, or the ways of the jedi. having this forced on him, left him feeling lonely and abandoned. these seeds of resentment would eventually sprout into forests full of bitterness.
years were spent with luke at the jedi temple, and though he hated it… ben solo was a model student. his skills thrived under the careful teachings of luke. however , his feelings of resentment && bitterness continued to fester just beneath the surface. forever untamed. ben tried to follow luke's teachings — tried to detach himself from the feelings that threatened to smother the light within him… but with each passing year, he fell further into the clutches of the dark. by the time luke skywalker realized what was happening, it was almost too late.
it was late, far past curfew the night ben solo finally fell off the edge. the sharp sword of betrayal , stained with shades of green had shattered the remaining threads of light within him. the night ended with him fleeing the scene of his first atrocity. bitterness pumping the adrenalin as it burned through him — scorching the insides of his heart until he could barely feel the pain of his loss.
through promises of protection — of love, supreme leader snoke coaxes his new apprentice home. it's hard, the transition. he'd been with luke since he was a young boy… and now, at almost twenty, it was difficult to make the transition. things were different here… he had a reputation to maintain — he towered over those around him, a monster to be feared. kylo ren, master of the knights ren, commander of the first order, apprentice to the supreme leader himself. it didn't take snoke long to tear his apprentice down, and rebuild him from the ground up. gone, was the curious child who liked to learn. here, was the monster who ached for revenge.
it had happened so suddenly — the chance to finish his training, to finalize everything his master had taught him… it had all brought him here, to this moment. crimson saber in hand, his father stood before him — shades of pride filter through his father's wide hues. oh , han thought he'd won. how wrong han solo was. the saber burst forth, snuffing out the light within his father, only to make his own burn a little brighter.
he'd committed patricide, and yet it had changed absolutely nothing. it was supposed to ease the conflict that waged war within him. it was supposed to quell the light that fought so desperately within him. yet , it had seemingly done nothing but feed the beast. frustration burned hot within his soul , his gaze like icy daggers as they locked onto chewie. crossbow held tightly within the wookie's hands. a blast flies towards him — but it's over, it's all over. the force was crumpling in on itself. what had he done?
POSITIVE - inquisitive , ambitious , regretful .
NEUTRAL - impassive , charismatic , deceptive
NEGATIVE - manipulative , ruthless , self - indulgent , uncertain , conflicted .
after his fall, kylo tries to subdue any part of himself that doesn't completely adhere to the teachings of his new master. this is quite difficult for him, and ultimately leads to the war of light & dark that wages within him constantly. he doesn't allow himself to acknowledge it, rather, he just hopes that he will finally rid himself of the conflict once and for all. this leads to some of his largest atrocities. things he will probably regret for the rest of his life.
he retains his inquisitive nature through his fall, but it is more subdued. he doesn't allow himself the small pleasures of asking questions. he refuses himself anything that could bring him any small bit of joy. this includes, but isn't limited to: music, calligraphy, piloting . while he will pilot if he must, he refuses to allow himself to enjoy it, for fear that the joy would bring him back a step in his training.
it's this fear that holds him back, truly. had he not been so fearful of everything, he would've progressed through his training faster than he did. he followed his orders to a T, but gave no more.
kylo is terrified of the light. he's quite good at hiding this fear, covering it with layers of hatred. he's fearful of those who adhere to the teachings of the light. not because he believes they are stronger than he, or that they could beat him in a fight… but rather, because he's terrified of being judged. he loathes the idea of being held accountable for his sins. this, of course, was the reason he'd fled in the first place. as he falls further into the darkness, this fear only worsens. though he does grow better at suppressing it.
contrary to popular belief, kylo isn't inherently evil. he does have compassion, it just usually rears its head after the fact in the form of guilt, or even regret.
