I have nothing left to lose which makes me dangerous

Elisabeth Noelle Gilbert Affectionately known as Elisa to most Twenty-Eight.Human. (seasons 1-6) Vampire(season 7+) Older Sister to Jeremy and Elena. Twin to Ezra. Government Agent. ;) Indie TVD OC. Multi-Everything.

[biitterformofrefuge-archive]

I don’t know

how to put this. I’ve been searching for the words all day. But, I’ve also been distracted with Hurricane Matthew prep. I think I need to leave the TVD fandom behind. I just don’t love it the way I used to and I don’t think that I ever will.

I love Ezra and Elisa both. I’ll be putting them back on the multimuse here. I will be redoing Ezra’s background information and changing their last names. I want to keep the core of each of them but remove them from the fandom, entirely. I’ve decided they will have dead parents. But, be only children because I don’t want to seem like I’m ripping off Elena and Jeremy.

If you rp with the twins and want to keep writing with them–cool. But, I won’t be doing anything TVD related or related to vampires, supernatural aspects, etc. So I guess that’s kind of what I’m dealing with right now. I’m sorting out everything and I hope to have it done in the near future. But, the hurricane is coming late thursday night/early friday morning. So, I don’t know if I’ll have power at that point or not.

My apologies to everyone. I’ll most likely just leave Matt sitting there, as well. I just can’t do it, anymore. I am sorry.

[donecadulteri-blog]

HEADS UP

 So, if you haven’t heard–Hurricane Matthew is expected to make landfall in Florida late Thursday/early Friday. Though, I assume this could change as weather is unpredictable. Right now, it’s a Cat 4 hurricane. Haiti was hit with winds of 145 mph and from what I’ve heard? We really don’t know the full impact it’s had. 

Right now, last I heard it was somewhere in the Bahamas. Though I also heard reports of Cuba. It had hit land in Haiti, then got back onto water, and is meant to be Bahama’s-Cuba area for today/tomorrow.

Then it’s heading here. Some say it will be lighter due to it hitting land. But, there are concerns of winds being up to 110 mph, heavy rainfall, along with flooding and whatnot.

We really have no idea what to expect. Basically, this weekend? I could have no power and be sitting around in a darkened house living off spaghettio’s with candlelight for lighting or–it could be fine.

 We’re doing all the typical prep right now. Storm shutters are going up tomorrow. We’re stocked on food, flashlights, camping stove, etc. We’re prepared. Question is, prepared for what, exactly?

         I’ll keep you all posted as I know more. But, please put good vibes out for Haiti and other areas and let’s hope it decides not to hit us too hard–here. We’re in a state of emergency, right now. It’s a Hurricane Watch. But, I have a feeling it’ll go to a warning within a day or two if this thing keeps the path.

Also, i’ve seen what the apocalypse will look like, and it’s Target/Walmart/Publix during a Hurricane watch.

[filledmysoulwithfright-archive]

I feel like It’s bad if I do the replies here and not on Ezra. So I just don’t do any replies. Then i feel worse lmao.

[kissooff]

Bull CBS - 1x02 “The woman in 8D”

[mycarheaven]

[worldscxllide-deactivated201911]

He’s not happy with her answers, and he knows that she knows that.  He knows that she can read it all over his face right now.  He’s good at his job, but around her, he’s a fucking open book.  And he hates it.  He knows that she can read his every emotion right now.  Usually, he’s okay with it, but now, not so much.

“A few more months for the people that love you, to figure out a way to say goodbye.”  He takes in a breath, looking away from the screen for a moment.  Blinking and cursing his emotions.  He finally looked back at her, not even bothering to hide them anymore.  “I am angry, Elisa.  But not at you.  Never at you.”

He understood her need to control her life.  To control the end of her life.  But that didn’t mean that he had to like it.  Sighing loudly, he shook his head at her before speaking again.  “I haven’t been there for a lot, Elisa.  I’m not missing this.  As painful as it is for me to even think about it, I’m refusing, right here and now, to miss it.”  He closes his eyes, sighing a little.  “I’m not ready.  I don’t think I ever will be.”

[filledmysoulwithfright-archive]

“There’s never going to be enough time for that, Tony. We both know that.” They could all have years to say to goodbye to one another. It would never be enough time. If they had a few more months,  he’d want a few more, and a few more. It’d never be enough. “You always were horrible at being angry with me.” “You aren’t going to miss it.” She promised. But, she couldn’t have what she had sent there arriving without him there. It’d ruin everything. “Just wait a few days. Wrap up whatever cases you all have going on and then you can come.” She blinked back her own tears. “No, you won’t ever be ready because you love me. You’ve always loved me and there’s never a time that you’re going to be ready to not have me around.”

[filledmysoulwithfright-archive]

"Are you sure this is legal?” {Callen}

“Oh no, this is highly illegal.” It had never stopped her before. This time was more important than any of the other occasions that she had done this. “But, it’s for a good cause, and we have to do what we have to do. It wasn’t legal when I murdered a bunch of men in Germany. I still did it.”

[filledmysoulwithfright-archive]

"How drunk are you right now?" {Riggs}

  “Drunk enough that I’m feeling good. Not drunk enough to be taken advantage of. But, drunk enough to take my top off if asked.” She shrugged. There were moments when she could hold her liquor like now. Others in the past, she had become a mess, who couldn’t walk a straight line. “Why?”

[filledmysoulwithfright-archive]

"Relax, I have a plan." {Brian}

“Oh that’s great. You have a plan. We’re going to die.” Because, he often had plans, and none of them ever ended particularly well. The last few had ended up with one or both of them in immediate peril. On top of that, they had brought the entire gang along, and she was concerned. “It’s not just us this time.”

[filledmysoulwithfright-archive]

"Why are you wearing that?" {Han}

“Because, last I checked? Swimming naked in public was frowned upon by the authorities.” She laughed, lightly. “You can always help me out of it when I’m done with my swim. Unless, you’re really that impatient.”

[worldscxllide-deactivated201911]

He let her talk, and as she did, his heart sunk.  No, it broke.  It shattered into a million pieces, and he was sure he could hear it as it did.  She was dying.  And she didn’t know how to tell him.  He didn’t know what to say to that.  “I..”  He took in a breath, leaning back on the sofa.  A breath out, and he’s just watching her.  Words escaping him right now.

He blinked and he realized that his eyes were filling with tears.  He had already lost her, and now he was losing her again.  Another heartbreak to go through.  The fact that she chose to stop treatment, weighing on him.  And for a moment, he was angry with her.  She chose to die.  He couldn’t deal with that.  His breath was sharp as he let it out, fighting his urge to yell at her for keeping this a secret.  For making this decision in the first place.  But he couldn’t yell at her.  He couldn’t do that to her.

Sitting back up, he let out a shaky breath, blinking back the tears that threatened.  “I will come to you.”  It wasn’t a question.  It wasn’t a request.  It was a statement.  He would be on the next plane to be with her.  No matter what anyone else said.  Screw Brian.  He would be there for her.  “You sent.. what did you send me, Elisa?”

[filledmysoulwithfright-archive]

She took a breath as she tried to fight her emotions. She could still read him like a book. Everything that was written on his features, the things that he refused to say, the answers that he wanted. But, he would never ask. “It wouldn’t save me. It’d just prolong my life for a few more months. A few more months of misery, treatments, lying on the bathroom floor without being able to get off of it. “

“I just wanted to go out on my own terms. I know you didn’t ask. But, I know you’re wondering. Brian was angry at me. I’m sure that he still is. You all can be mad at me. It’s my life and I get to choose when it ends.”

She shook her head. “Not now. I need you there when it gets there. But, soon. I promise.” She offered an awkward smile. “Something that you’re going to need when I’m gone.”

[filledmysoulwithfright-archive]

"You. Come. Snuggle. NOW!" {Tony}

“Okay, okay, I am coming.” He could be so demanding when he wanted to be. The girls had fallen asleep in their makeshift tent of blankets in their room. It was apparently time for them to snuggle up and get cozy. “What would you do if I  said no one of these days? Hmm?” She questioned, crawling into the bed and moving close.

[filledmysoulwithfright-archive]

“If you’d hold still, it wouldn’t hurt as much!” {Bria to Easton}

“I call bullshit on that.” He replied, as she attempted to clean the wound. It was caked with dried blood and yet somehow still stung like a son of a bitch. He had tried to take his arm back on numerous occasions in the past fifteen minutes or so. Every time that he did, she replied with the same old line, and he rolled his eyes. “It’s going to hurt like a bitch–either way.”

[tessathompsen]

best red carpet looks ever 10 of ∞ // Jessica Alba during the 2007 MTV Movie Awards

[worldscxllide-deactivated201911]

The call had been set up for a few days.  And he was going to be sure that he was there and didn’t miss it.  He had even told Gibbs, that he would be leaving early, just to be there.  When he got home, he set up his laptop, before grabbing something to drink, and settling on the sofa.  There was a part of him that hated that she had chosen Brian, but the fact that they were still friends, meant the world to him.  He did still love her.  He knew that she knew that too.

Hearing the familiar tone, he pushed the button, accepting the call.  “Hey you.”  He took in a breath as he saw her.  She wasn’t her normal spry self.  It had him concerned.  Letting out a breath, he smiled softly at her.  “Long time no chat buddy.  You doing okay?”

[filledmysoulwithfright-archive]

“I’m sorry about that. I’ve been tied up.” That was a nice way to put it. She knew that she needed to tell him the truth. The entire truth from top to bottom and she had to do it now. She’d forced Brian to accept her decision. It was somehow more difficult to tell him. Elisa released a breath as she leaned against the headboard. “No, I’m not okay. I’ve been sick for awhile. I didn’t want to worry you or anyone else until I knew for sure. Brian’s the only one who knew.” She sighed, heavily. “I’m dying is the bottom line. I was diagnosed months ago with leukemia and the doctor’s tried everything. But, it’s just not responding. They have other things they can try. But, I decided just about a month ago to stop all treatments. I was so miserable. I just wanted to spend the time that I had with Brian and my family. I wanted to come see you. But, I don’t think I’ll make it out there.” She admitted, running a hand through her hair. Things had already started to become a chore. It took longer. She had to rely on Aria for more.

“I’m taking care of Brian. He’s taken care of. I’ve got it all figured out. I just--I didn’t want to worry you for nothing. It’s turned out to be a lot more than nothing. I’m sorry. I should’ve told you from the beginning. Just didn’t know how.” She shrugged, her head against the headboard. “I sent something there. It probably won’t arrive at your place til tonight, though.”

[filledmysoulwithfright-archive]

 She’d set up this Skype session with him earlier in the week. She hadn’t told him what it was about. He and Brian didn’t exactly talk. So, she knew that he hadn’t told him about what she had decided. She hadn’t been very forthcoming about a lot of things. They were friends. But, she had wanted to protect him for as long as possible from the reality of it all.

She sighed as she settled into the bed knowing that she looked awful. Aria had been doing her very best to make her comfortable, take care of things, and she knew that she was taking care of Brian. She had a plan. She had an entire plan laid out for after she was gone. She pressed the button to call the former love of her life and waited as it rang.

[filledmysoulwithfright-archive]

Send me a sentence for my muse's reaction

"Are you even listening to me?"

"Are you even listening to yourself?"

"Are you sure they won’t find out?”

"Are you sure this is legal?”

"Are you sure you know what you’re doing?”

"Are you threatening me?"

"Be mine."

"Can you be anymore obvious?"

"Do I know you?"

"Do you love me?"

"Do you remember this?"

"Do you trust me?"

"Don’t go."

"Don’t let me die"

"Don’t look at me like that."

"Don’t make me beg.”

"Don’t you dare come near me!"

"Don’t you dare."

"Explain yourself."

"For you, I would _____"

"Give it back."

"Give me another chance."

"Have you ever even done this before?"

"How drunk are you right now?"

"I already regret this."

"I am not wearing that.”

"I can’t believe you missed that."

"I can’t do this anymore."

"I can’t even look at you."

"I could kill you!"

"I dare you." or "I dare you to _____."

"I didn’t do it.""

"I didn’t know you could do that."

"I don’t want to look at you right now.”

"I guess this is goodbye.”

"I hate you."

"I have to go."

"I just want to cuddle."

"I know your secret.”

"I love you, but I really wish I didn’t.”

"I love you."

"I miss you so very much."

"I missed you."

"I need a drink."

"I need a hug."

"I never really loved you."

"I owe you."

"I think I broke it."

"I think I’m falling in love with you. "

"I think I’m forgetting something."

"I think it’s broken.”

"I trust you."

"I want to be yours."

"I want to try this thing I read in a book.”

"I want you. Naked. In my bed. Now."

"I’ll be there in five minutes.”



”This is really inappropriate.”

"I’m all for spicing thing’s up, but isn’t this a bit much?”

"I’m bad for you.”

"I’m dying."

"I’m going to be sick."

"I’m not speaking to you anymore."

"I’m pregnant and it’s yours."

"I’ve never heard that one before."

"If you stay quiet, no one will know.”

"Is that my shirt?"

"It was me"

"It’s so beautiful.”

"It’s time to choose.”

"Just five more minutes."

"Just go."

"Just leave me alone."

"Just let me die."

"Just relax."

"Just what did we do last night?"

"Kiss me you idiot."

"Kiss me."

"Like you even care."

"Little too late, don't you think?"

"Make me."

"Marry me?"

"My Parents don’t know"

"My parents know.""

"Never again."

"Nh, don’t be so rough!"

"No, that can’t be my baby."

"No! You can’t die on me now!"

"Obviously there is something between us."

"Of all the things i've heard, that hurt the most."

"Put it away.”

"Put your trousers on!"

"Put. The. Weapon. Down."

"Quiet, I am trying to think."

"Relax, I have a plan."

"Really?"

"Shut up and listen."

"Take responsibility."

"That isn’t mine."

"That looked easier on TV."

"That sounds painful."

"That was a bad plan."

"That’s mine!”

"That’s the cheesiest pickup line I’ve ever heard."

"They’re coming.”

"This seems familiar."

"This stays between us."

"Truth hurts, don’t it?"

"Unbelievable. I can't believe you right now."

"Very good, you had me fooled."

"Want to hear a secret?"

"We need to talk."

"We’re moving too fast.”

"Well that was unexpected."

"What are we doing here?"

"What are you afraid of?"

"What are you touching?"

"What are you?"

"What do you need?"

"What happened to you?"

"What have I done this time?"

"What if someone catches us?”

"What sort of noise was that?”

"What the hell do you think you’re doing?"

"What were you thinking?"

"Where are my clothes?"

"Where did you find this?"

"Where do you even find this sort of thing?”

"Where were you?"

"Who’d have guessed you could pull such a face?”

"Why are you wearing that?"

"Why yes, I am as think as you drunk I am."

"You could have died!”

"You could have killed someone!"

"You coward."

"You don’t need to be so gentle.”

"You drive me crazy!"

"You have ten minutes, so make it quick.”

"You lied to me!"

"You mean everything to me."

"You owe me."

"You. Come. Snuggle. NOW!"

"You’re all out of ____."

"You’re an idiot.”

"You’re bad for me.”

"You’re dead to me."

"You’re pregnant and It’s mine"

"You’re really good at this…”

"You’re so weird.""

"You’re under arrest."