A fic idea I had a couple months back but I was too scared to post... This is also my very first work that i've gathered the courage to post so ntm on my shitty writing
This post depicts suicide, suicidal thoughts, and graphic violence (IDK how to write gore but oh well) If your uncomfortable with these subject please don't read
Wrd Count: 1927
Chapter One: Resonance
Today was the day. You've marked this moment mentally, counting down to the very second. You waited for intervention, someone to save you from yourself, a sign from the divine that this life was worth living, but nothing came. Only the lingering numbness you’ve felt since you were a child. One last hike before it all ends, one last look at the view that grounded you to this reality, and then you'll truly be free.
To think, you were doomed from the start, your parents emotionally isolated you, leading you to withdraw from society at a young age. Friendships were short-lived; you never had someone to talk to. Life was a daze; you spent the majority of it daydreaming, hoping someone or something would save you, but it never came.
You studied society through a glass lens, imitated practiced social interactions to the four walls of your bedroom, and cried to the floor of your bathroom. University was no different. You put on a play for your parents and peers, hoping that they wouldn’t see through the cracks. Hell, you even fooled yourself. Opting productivity over healing and intellectualism for understanding. But the low hum in the back of your skull never went away; a static behind your eyes that altered the very way you saw life. No matter how hard you coped, the friends you made, how accomplished you were, there was something deeply wrong with you.
And now, after 23 years of trying to find purpose and passion, you couldn’t endure anymore. No note or final message, wouldn’t want anyone to worry or come after you, although you doubt they would.
You wanted to die in silence and secrecy, to completely disappear without a trace; like a cat retreating to the back of an closet.
Just below the cliff you stood on was a simmering lake. The warmth of the sun hugged your body as it set below the horizon, as if it were saying farewell. The wind caressed your face and whispered songs of tranquility in your ears. You look down, you’ve calculated before, the drop was enough to kill you, no pain, just silence and whatever came after. You hoped whatever animal that came across your corpse picks the flesh from your body clean, only leaving the bones. And the rest turns to dust, giving back what you took from the earth. You breathed in one last time as you inched closer to the edge.
One step hits the ground, and the other off the cliff.
You go falling, wind rushes past your ears, and you feel at peace. Memories play in your head like a slide show, how on every field day you always ended up alone, away from your group, and no one would come looking for you. How you would wake up with puffy eyes and no appetite, but your parents never questioned anything. And how a stupid otome game was your only source of comfort, taunting you about how deprived you are. Everything went black. You hit the ground.
Suddenly, you felt like you were floating, but didn’t feel the coolness of water.
A subtle statistic filled your essence. It felt as though every atom of your body was moving freely without constraint, scattered across a black void. You held no space or form, you didn’t feel whole, only fragments of consciousness. Was this the afterlife? There's no light, no angels or demons, no spirits, just nothingness.
‘Would I be conscious like this for an eternity?’ You thought.
But before you could further ponder about your state of being, your body is yanked, you can’t tell the direction, if there even was a direction for whatever domain you reside in. Then suddenly, everything floods in all at once. Hearing, touch, sight, and smell wrack your whole body and leave you discombobulated. You feel raindrops fall upon you and smell the damp earth around you. You grip onto your body and feel clothes, feel warmth. You're alive?
This has to be some sick joke… You must've survived the fall, but rain wasn't in the forecast. Did you reincarnate? You look down at your hands, shaking and real, the indention and lines on your palms, the hair on your knuckles, the redness from the blood rushing to them. You thought you’d come back as a bird or a whale, not this. Was this purgatory? Some sort of limbo, something between life and death? Your brain begins to split, a panic attack simmering at the base of your gut was about to erupt.
You inhale sharply, almost forgetting how to breath and smell something murky. The smell of steel, the smell of blood and exposed flesh. You hear a roar of pain, the voice of a man approximately 12 feet in front of you.
Your eyes shoot in his direction, revealing a middle-aged man, grey streaks in his hair (or what's left of it), his face wrinkled, weighed heavy by time and probably some addiction, leaning against a tree trunk. You were met with a grotesque sight. His face was contorted with pain as jagged rocks splintered out of his skin. His stomach bursting open organs spilling onto the grass bellow.
“Help me…” he says in a strained voice. Adrenaline spikes in your body, you don’t know whether to freeze in fear or call an ambulance, do you even have a phone? Where were you? How are you alive? You felt nauseous. All questions fall dry in your throat as you attempt to vocalize them; you don’t know what to do, or how to help him. You slowly move closer and finally find the courage to speak.
“Whats happening to you? Where are w-” Before you can finish your sentence, you feel a sharp chill and hear hurried footsteps.
A man shoves you on your butt, and suddenly you hear the sound of flesh being pierced, scraping between bone and rock, and then silence. No dialogue, no sound of struggle, just flesh being torn through and a final breath. Your mind goes reeling, you barely had time to process how you're alive again, and now a dead body is lying in front of you. You lose a little more of your sanity; you’re not sure if you even had it in the first place.
Your mind goes blank as you slowly look up at the man, his shoulders broad, his posture almost perfect. He glances at you from over his shoulder, eyes cold and calculating.
“Do you know him?” He says, voice flat and tone even
You pause. His voice sounds familiar. But from where? You find the courage to speak. “Why would you kill him? What was happening to him?” you say, ignoring his question, your voice trembling from fear.
“Are you related to him?” He says with sharpness, gesturing to the mutilated corpse in front of you.
You're speechless, his nonchalance for the life he just took irritates you, your clothes and hair are damp from the rain, you're still confused as to where you are, who you are, and how you're even alive.
You find the strength to stand and grab the man's shoulder; he's taller and more sturdy than you initially thought; you pull his shoulder so that he's facing you. One harsh tug is all it took to spin him around. When you finally see his whole face, everything begins to make sense. His voice, his clothing, his stature, and what was happening to the man in front of you. You’ve somehow been transported to the game you used to play, Love and Deepspace. Or more accurately, a universe mentioned within a character's lore.
You stand there in shock, no way this is happening to you. These are the types of things that happen in anime, isikai? Whatever it was called, it isn’t possible, you can’t comprehend how and why this is happening to you. The man standing before you was no other than Dawnbreaker, an alternate version of Zayne living in an apocalyptic, wanderer-infested world. The world you currently reside in.
You stare at the man in front of you, taking in his features. His raven hair, sharp jaw line, high nose and cheekbones, and green eyes speckled with gold. However, his face was more tired, with soft black stubble along his jawline, discoloration under his eyes, and a permanent scowl. Despite your disposition, you find yourself in awe. He was handsome, so handsome it made you uneasy. An exact replica from the game, and too real for comfort.
Zayne's monotone voice cuts through your spiraling thoughts, “I don’t have time for this.” He says, turning and walking away.
You gaze at him and urgently grab his shoulder. “Wait!” you say. He stops in his tracks, visibly irritated
“Do you have a thing for touching strangers?” He said curtly, brows furrowing and frown deepening (as if he couldn't frown even more).
“Are you just gonna leave me here?” You noticed how he initially stared, how he didn’t completely brush off your touch, and figured you could use it to your advantage. You begin to weave a lie, feigning your connection to the man now corpse in front of you. You couldn’t lose Zayne now; he may be your only source of protection in this world of uncertainty.
“The life you just took… it was my uncle's.” Your voice softens as you prepare a sob story, hopefully, he's not devoid of all empathy, because there's nowhere and no one else you could turn to. (You don't mind it, though)
Now it's time for the waterworks, which was fairly easy because for the past 15 minutes of being alive, you felt like screaming and crying.
Soft tears fell from your face, and look into Zayne's eyes. “I have nowhere to go.” You say lower lip trembling, either from the cold or being in his presence. “He was the only family I had left, and now he's gone.”
For a moment, Zayne’s eyebrows twitched. You got his attention; this will be today's one of many small victories.
You fell to your knees and began to plead. “If you were planning to kill him, you must kill me too. I'm not far along until this sickness takes over my body and transforms my very flesh. Please spare me the pain of that anticipation!”
“Get up,” Zayne said flatly. “Stop with your incessant yodeling.” He said, pinching the bridge of his bumped nose.
Well damn…He's meaner than you initially thought. Not that you didn’t analyze Zayne's character like a madman, you knew Dawbreakers' personality was cold (no pun intended), but experiencing it was completely different. Maybe a small part of you thought you’d be an exception, but that fantasy was now shattered.
You slowly rise to your feet. You must look pathetic. Hair and clothes damp, mud on your sleeves and knees, face flustered, and nose runny. You look away, embarrassed, messing with the edge of your shirt.
Zayne gives you a once-over and walks away with long strides. You're left shocked, he didn’t even try to address what you said; he just… left.
You quickly follow after him, matching his stride and following the twists and turns he makes in the forest. When Zayne finally comes to a stop at a trail, you speak,
“Can I request something from you?” You say awkwardly, breaking the tense silence. He glances at you, awaiting your request.
“As I said before, I have no place to stay… If you're able to, can I stay with you?” He turns his head so he can see you fully see your face, struck by your ridiculousness. You don’t even know him and he just killed your assumed “uncle”.
(That's all I got lol let me know if I should continue this or if its absolute shit!! I'm striving to become a better writer so feel free to critique my writing! Thangya!!!!)
