Art

Just a girl with a lot on her mind and art in her fingertips. Instagram: kpilon.art

[vinylmationnecklaces]

[tropiuz-deactivated20200618]

I FUCKING HATE THUIS WEBSITE DELETE THIS FUCKING WEBSITE

[acakewalkofcrocodiles]

Didn’t even unmute and I died

[ten9fourteen]

Omg fuck y'all

[findyour-sanctuary]

IM SO SAD 🙃

[findyour-sanctuary]

Kalina Pilon Original drawing on 80lb. paper. Instagram: @kpilon.art

[findyour-sanctuary]

Love letters you will never read

My dear, The other night I had a dream. You were still by my side it felt like you never left. I turned around and you were there looking as good as you always did it felt real. It felt like nothing had changed, it felt like, felt like you were there with me, we were one again. I didn't want that dream to end. I woke up and I was so angry, because, in that moment after I awoke my dream was better than my reality and that broke my heart. How do you keep breaking my heart if you're not even around? How do I keep thinking of you when it's been a year since I've seen you? How have you managed to keep me in love with you? What did you do to make me so head over heels with you. In my dream I looked in your eyes and they look the same as they had always been and in my dream you kissed me and it felt like it always did. In my dream we were still in love and still together and nothing was different and everything was better. I wish my dream was my reality, I wish that I could wake up and feel that same kiss every single morning. I wish that I could wake up and see your eyes every single morning. I am in pieces, I do not wish this upon you but I do hope you dream of me too. I as in us, you as in we.

[findyour-sanctuary]

I never wanted to be in love until I saw you.

Me

[findyour-sanctuary]

Pencil Drawing on 80 lb. Paper

Kalina Pilon (insta: @kpilon.art)

July 12, 2015

[findyour-sanctuary]

love letters you will never read

my dear,

Today I was driving and I heard that song and the engine of a trunk. I couldn’t bear to turn my head. In ways I wish that was you but I know it wasn’t. It’s been a year and yet you still are on my mind. God I miss you so much. I miss the way my name sounded in your mouth and for the life of me I do not remember that sound no matter how hard I may try. I miss rolling over in bed and waking up to you right next to me. I remember everything but I cannot feel anything. I cannot feel you kissing my forehead in the morning or the way your hand felt in mine. I remember wishing things would be different and I remember the song you sang to me, I would give anything to hear that one last time. I remember everything and I can't figure out if that is a good thing because all the things I remember give me more to miss. I think of you often and wonder if you think of me too, we were two broken hearts beating as one. I worry about you so often and I think of what I would say to you if i could, I think if I should reach out to you and tell you everything i want to. When i saw you last i didn't know that was goodbye. I took it as a see you soon and ever since i’ve been waiting, Waiting for something i know will not happen. So what am I doing to myself. What have you done to me. Turning me into someone that waits, I can no longer wait for something that will never happen. But I will because you were my everything and I still love you. 

I as in us, You as in we.

[findyour-sanctuary]

"You can be whoever you are and like whoever you like and we should spread the love and acceptance we constantly say we don't receive" - Ruby Rose July 17, 2015 Kalina Pilon (insta: kpilon.art)

[findyour-sanctuary]

And if the pain becomes too much I want you to know I will be there to help you through it. June 12, 2015 Kalina Pilon

[findyour-sanctuary]

a new start.

[beigetype]

[findyour-sanctuary]

love letters that you will never read

My dear

It seems to me that maybe i only start to miss you when i realize what we had is something i may never have again. It's been two months and I think of you often, mostly when I am looking for something i know only you have ever been able to give me. I miss you when he touches my arm the way you did, when that one song comes on the radio, and when i see someone who looks awfully to close to how you did. I do miss afternoon naps when our legs intertwined and how you told me you would never get any rest if i kept looking at you. But, I could't help myself because i never though that a moment like that would happen to me. It occurred to me that what i had with you was real. What a terrible mistake that was on my part, what a terrible mistake to fall in love so young, especially when its the real thing. I wish on every star in the galaxy that you would have stuck around longer than you did and i know i broke your heart when i told you i might leave. I need to remember that you are not the first one to leave me and you won't be the last and I'm not afraid of that. But i am fucking scared. I'm terrified of waking up at 28 and realizing i am alone. Realizing i need you more than ever and i won't know where you have gone off too. I don't want to be the one that never has someone to bring around to family events and my family wondering why I'm always quiet. It's because when i look around I will see those with love filling there hearts while i try to fill mine with things that will ruin me. I realize i have lost you momentarily but i know i can't stay away you are my life line and right now you are the one that i let slip away. I'm sorry i broke you but please remember you broke me too. 

[findyour-sanctuary]

This is one of my poems. I was going to type it out but I like it like this better. This was written 6 months ago. This is me.

[dontloseyourselfagain]

Every time I tell someone I loved you they laugh at me. They call me an idiot, you were only 17 and he didn’t mean that much. Oh they are so wrong. You knew how I felt, you had felt it yourself. The way you got so angry when I told you how that guy hurt me. How you promised to just hold me, and...

[dontloseyourselfagain]

I just want someone to love me the way that I loved you. The truth is I called your phone last night and it’s disconnected. I just wanted to hear your voice because I cry when I can no longer remember what it sounds like. That’s all I just want to hear your voice or hug you one last time. God I...

[dontloseyourselfagain]

The only thing I want Is to be loved as much as I love But that is a dream And I am in a nightmare -kp

[findyour-sanctuary]

I lied.

I'm sorry I said that I loved you

when in reality I couldn't even love myself

I thought that if I could love you enough,

maybe my heart would fill up 

with all the love I poured into you

but you took it

and didn't know how to give it back

no matter how hard you tried

and I heard you crying that night because I hadn't fallen asleep yet

I'm sorry I forgot to keep some for myself 

I just don't know how to do that yet.

-kp