naecromantic:
“That’s not how you fight a bear. You have to wrestle. Mano e mano. Prove your strength. Only then will the bear accept you or accept defeat to you.” He nods his head seriously, but he can’t quite maintain the expression. Breaking out in another laugh before taking another swallow from his beer.
The question comes right after he gets it to his lips, enough of a pause that he has his answer ready and waiting by the time it drifts back down to his knees.
“Always.” A smile accompanies the words, because even if it’s all a lie, it’s the same one he’s been telling for years. He’s always alright. Nothing hurts him, nothing bothers him, and if he’s fully aware just how much of that is bullshit, he’s slipped enough times since joining up with this group that he says the words more firmly now. Clinging to it as if maybe repeating it enough times will someday make it true.
No one wanted someone needy and damaged in their lives. It was a lesson he’d learned quickly, and if he couldn’t stop himself from being either of those things, Niko could at least pretend.
“You don’t have to worry about me,” he adds. Even if it feels like a heavy assumption on his part that she even was. They were something like friends, but still riding that line close enough to strangers that he wouldn’t want to count on it. It has him tossing the next words out like more of a joke than they were. “Can’t die.”
raegan shifted, her elbows resting on her thighs and her beer settled into her hands. her chin tilted to look at him full on with a smile. he was always so full of it, but in a world where people around them died by the hundreds every day -- which was more than enough because most were already dead. but, it was also comments like that which she found bittersweet.
bittersweet in the sense that she could look at the world around her and see that she was still alive. to be able to glance over and see nikos smiling face, to feel the fire on her skin and watch the billions of stars twinkle overhead. but, on the flip side to that, a twang of guilt would set in before too long. there were so many around them that had fallen, loved ones and enemies alike that now lay lifeless somewhere. the thoughts of that being her frequently startled her awake from her dreams.
that would be a problem for future Raegan though. for now, another long swig, finishing the bottle, muffled the guilt.
“ everyone can die, “ she said, smiling weakly. “ don’t go around givin’ girls like me false hope. not all of us have a huge support system. ”
she was only half kidding, but she smiled, leaning over to shoulder him playfully to keep the mood as light as she could. but she’d miss him if he was gone.