Andrew had the horrible feeling that he had just ruined their morning, sensing an uneasiness creep into the moment that wasnât there before. He scratched the back of his head, suddenly feeling very awkward. âItâs not that I donât want to go. I guess Iâm just a little confused?â It was true that Andrew wasnât someone who took time off from work often, usually being a relentless workaholic. It had only happened lately in favor of spending time with Finn, and in other circumstances he may have actually considered it. But even though the thought of spending an entire weekend with Finn away from everything else was nice, the weirdly blurred lines in their relationship made it hard to even consider the suggestion as anything else than a terrible idea. They werenât a couple and Andrew had been very firm in the beginning that he wanted to keep things casual, but this didnât really feel like an ordinary friendship either, nor did it really feel all that casual anymore. Honestly, going on a trip together while there was so little clarity of what they meant to each other seemed like a recipe for disaster. âI mean, look, if you were to take a trip with your buddies from college â you know, the oneâs you fooled around with⊠Would you actually arrange in advance to share a bed for the whole trip or would you book two rooms and see if maybe you ended up in the same bed somewhere down the line?â He bit his lip, unsure if what he said made any kind of sense. Maybe Finn was just really comfortable with his friends and really didnât see the point in booking two rooms? Maybe he was being a complete jerk right now, reading into things that werenât all that serious. âI donât know, booking one room together seems a bit⊠coupley? Hell, Iâve been in relationships that were less domestic than this.â He motioned back and forth between the two of them with a quick hand movement on the last word, clarifying that when he spoke of âthisâ, he meant the thing between the both of them. While he considered Finn a friend, calling it a friendship seemed extremely inadequate. He couldnât quite meet Finnâs eyes, having the terrible feeling that he would find disappointment in them.
Like Andrew, Finn was worried heâd ruined this too.  When Andrew explained what he meant about the separate rooms, Finn saw his point, and he didnât immediately answer.  Finally he just said, âNo, I wouldnât.  I mean, if it was a friend I used to fool around with and we were both single, Iâd count on us being in the same bed a lot, but...yeah, Iâd book separate rooms.â  He looked at Andrew, and it was suddenly abundantly clear that this was much, much different from a standard friends with benefits type of situation.  This wasnât casual anymore; this meant something, to Finn at least.  Reaching under Andrewâs chin to gently lift his head so he could look into his eyes, Finn said, âI just...youâre really awesome, Andrew, and uh...I know you want to keep this casual, but I guess Iâm realizing that...youâre not just my friend.  The other day I was at the bar, and someone hit on me.  I could have gone home with him, but then I thought of how it felt like cheating.  And if I knew you were going home with another guy, Iâd be jealous.  Thatâs not typical friends with benefits stuff.â  Pausing, he worried heâd said too much already, but Finn still continued, âSo tell me:  if you knew I was sleeping with someone else, would you be jealous?  And if a super hot guy tried to pick you up, would you go home with him?â  If the answer was no to the first and yes to the second, then Finn knew Andrew didnât feel the same way.  Hell, Finn didnât even know for sure how he himself felt, but he knew it was different than standard friendship with benefits.
