friends on the other side

fiona facilier My name is Fiona Facilier! I'm Dr. Facilier's daughter, an ex-Isle resident, a student, a witch (registered, of course), frequenter of thrift shops and vintage stores, the #1 bestie to the Queen of Auradon, and collector of all things witchy. Don't be surprised if one day you see me open up a mini magical emporium!

[fionafacilier]

TEXT 🕵️ OPHIONA

Ophelia: YOU'D THINK! BUT IDK! WE'RE NOT EXACTLY HAVING BIG FAMILY DINNERS! I am! I'm scared of ghosts in movies and I'm scared of ghosts irl! I don't know what they're up to and therefore do not trust it! Also what if you do a seance, summon a victim of my mom's and then they ghost curse my future kid out of revenge!? You're not old YET, bitch! NO! THEY'LL ALREADY HAVE A FAIRY MOM AND SINCE I'LL BE PUSHING OUR FUTURE BABY OUT OF MYYY COOCH, I GET FIRST DIBS ON GODPARENT PICKING! Respectfully that's the dumbest thing you've ever said, but okay. How would Gigi know? Gigi got knocked up on accident, do we even know if she remembers making Glory?

Fiona: THAT'D MAYBE BE A GOOD PLACE TO START! Why are you scared of ghosts in real life?! Ghosts are just people, are you scared of EVERYBODY? When did you become such a scaredy cat?! See, that's exactly the type of misrepresentation I'm talking about! Ghosts cannot "ghost curse" anybody, they have no power over anyone in the living realm. I'll always be young at heart, bitch! AAAAAAHHHHHHHH THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! YOU DEFINITELY DESERVE IT, COOCHER! Just because she got knocked up on accident doesn't mean she doesn't have a pebble of wisdom somewhere in that head of hers! We never know if we never ask!

[fionafacilier]

TEXT 🕵️ OPHIONA

Ophelia: I KNOW! BUT TURNS OUT PHILIP HAS TRAUMA BECAUSE MY MOM LOCKED HIM IN A DUNGEON AND SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF HIM SO WE CAN'T EVEN PUT IN A DUNGEON OR HE'LL PROBABLY DIE OR SOMETHING IDK! Also we're scared of ghosts, keep your séance to yourself! I'm not going to be a mommy blogger! Or be geriatric! You're going to age WAY faster than I will, Mortal! YES! YOU! You're my bestest best friend, who else would it even be! Also the year's only been five days! Me too, but what's telling him to get a move on gonna do!

Fiona: PHILIP AND MALEFICENT ARE IN-LAWS NOW, HE'S GOT TO GET OVER THAT EVENTUALLY, RIGHT? And come on, no one's "scared" of ghosts, they're scared of ghosts in movies, which are completely different! Let me do ONE seance to prove it! I may be mortal but I'm not OLD! I DON'T KNOW, I THOUGHT MAYBE AUGUST WOULD PICK ONE OF HIS FAIRY GOD-FRIENDS BUT I'M GLAD IT'S ME! Maybe telling him to get a move on will make the baby juice do its thing faster? I don't know! I'm not sure what the fastest way to get pregnant is, maybe we should ask Gigi!

[fionafacilier]

TEXT 🕵️ OPHIONA

Ophelia: NO! TURNS OUT OUR CASTLE DOESN’T HAVE A DUNGEON! JUST A BASEMENT! THAT MAY OR NOT HAVE GHOST BUT MORE THAN LIKELY DOES NOT! I knooow but why am I a grandma now! I’m so young and hip that I’m getting creampied with purpose now! That’s trendy! I’M SAYING YOU’RE GOING TO BE A *GODMOTHER* AT SOMEPOINT! It’s very huge and thank you!!

Fiona: WHAT?! IT'S A CASTLE, SHOULDN'T IT HAVE A DUNGEON?! You've got to go all HGTV on that 'basement' and give it a dungeon makeover stat. And that includes bringing in some ghosts if none live there now. I can lead a seance! Getting creampied is trendy, but with PURPOSE? It just takes you one step closer to mommy blogger but I'll love you no matter how geriatric you get. A GODMOTHER?! ME?! That's the best news I've gotten all year! I hope you have a baby NOW. Tell August to get a move on!

[fionafacilier]

TEXT 🥳 FIGI

Gigi: Do not cut up vintage Chanel, you lunatic! What is it? If it doesn’t fit Glory, I’ll figure out how to make it fit but I DEFINITELY want Chanel!!!

Fiona: Why not? I'm almost positive I was cutting up SOME designers back on the Isle, it didn't kill anybody. I think it's a skirt? Or a shawl? It's a small round tube of fabric one way or another.

[fionafacilier]

TEXT 🕵️ OPHIONA

Ophelia: Wow! First you attack me and then ask for my time! Wow. You know I’m too rich and powerful to put up with this shit anymore, right?! 😝 But really? That’s awesome! I wasn’t actually “hiding it” from you, but I guess now is as good a time as any to tell you that Aug and I are officially trying to start having a kid!! Maybe that’s the big thing coming our way?

Fiona: What are you going to do? ARE YOU GOING TO THROW ME IN THE DUNGEON? Because that'd be kind of fun! 😝 But yes, really! You know I'm always going to check the cards for you, you grandma. ARE YOU SAYING I'M GOING TO BE AN AUNTIE?! That's huge! Congratulations on creampie season!

[fionafacilier]

TEXT 🕵️ OPHIONA

Fiona: I know you're busy being a boring rich married lady BUT if you could be so kind as to make some time for your bestest of best friends, I need to talk to you! I was doing a reading for you for the new year and I think something BIG is coming your way. Do you have any secrets you've been hiding? Because maybe it stems from that!

[fionafacilier]

TEXT 🥳 FIGI

Fiona: Someone (me) found some vintage Chanel at the thrift the other day and while it is too small for me OR you, I was thinking that MAYBE it might just fit Glory. Maybe. Do you want it? Otherwise the temptation to cut it up and make a headband out of it will be far too strong.

[fionafacilier]

How did you lose your virginity?

Oh gosh. So, I wanted to get THE cutest girl on the Isle to notice me because I had it bad for her, and she didn’t, so I spent the night of her party flirting with her sidekick instead and ended up hooking up with him. It wasn’t bad but I still wish it’d been her instead.

[fionafacilier]

Do you have a "type" and if so, how would you describe it?

I don’t think I have a type! I’ve caught feels for, like, a ton of different kinds of people. None of them have ever really stuck though.

[fionafacilier]

Which royal couple do you admire the most? Why?

I feel like I should say @tenneyboudreaux‘s parents for, like, niceities, and they are cool, don’t get me wrong, and really hot.... but I think I like Aladdin and Jasmine best. They seem like they have fun together!

[fionafacilier]

What do you want for Christmas?

Gemstone twinkle lights, Hello Kitty pajamas, or a pet chicken! Or anything else you guys can think of. OH, or any type of loose leaf tea or candles. 

[fionafacilier]

How are you the most like your parent(s)? The most different?

I’m skilled with witchcraft! And I’m really, really fun. For those of who you haven’t met him, I swear, my daddy is a good time. Unlike him though? It’s not like I’m out to hurt anybody!

[fionafacilier]

What would you say is your greatest talent?

I’m really great at magic! Light magic, don’t worry, you guys. I’m also really REALLY good at texting while drunk.

[fionafacilier]

What animal sidekick would you have based on your personality?

I actually had an aninmal sidekick back on the Isle when I was a kid! He was an eel and I named him Eellen and he died really fast but I still love him! If I had a sidekick now though? I’d want a more standard familiar, like a chicken maybe! Chickens are great!

[fionafacilier]

How do you feel about the Isle?

Uuuuuuh, I don’t like to talk about bad icky stuff, so I’m gonna pass!

[fionafacilier]

What's your weirdest sexual fantasy?

A threesome with the royal couple maybe? I’m kidding, @queenopheliarose, don’t worry, I’m not going to touch your man. I like the idea of group stuff though, it makes me think of the Isle but, you know, the fun parts of it.

[fionafacilier]

Pronouns and orientation?

That/witch, and I’m open minded! Mostly. I won’t touch a penis with my hands, I just refuse, but I can figure other stuff out.