Amas Veritas @queenopheliarose - Tumblr Blog

TEXT 👏 FOPHELIA

Fox: It's all good, which part of that do you need broken down further? I've got all day!

Ophelia: Like the planning what we're going to wear and the public date stuff? So like all parts of it basically???

TEXT 👏 FOPHELIA

Fox: OKAY, SO, we only have a month to plan what you and Augustus are doing for Valentine's Day! 👏👏👏 That includes what you two are wearing to the Charming party AND what date you two are going to go on publicly so we can arrange photographers to capture how adorably and disgustingly in love you guys are, okay? So brainstorm, go!

Ophelia: I'm sorry, what?

TEXT 🕵️ OPHIONA

Fiona: PHILIP AND MALEFICENT ARE IN-LAWS NOW, HE'S GOT TO GET OVER THAT EVENTUALLY, RIGHT? And come on, no one's "scared" of ghosts, they're scared of ghosts in movies, which are completely different! Let me do ONE seance to prove it! I may be mortal but I'm not OLD! I DON'T KNOW, I THOUGHT MAYBE AUGUST WOULD PICK ONE OF HIS FAIRY GOD-FRIENDS BUT I'M GLAD IT'S ME! Maybe telling him to get a move on will make the baby juice do its thing faster? I don't know! I'm not sure what the fastest way to get pregnant is, maybe we should ask Gigi!

Ophelia: YOU'D THINK! BUT IDK! WE'RE NOT EXACTLY HAVING BIG FAMILY DINNERS! I am! I'm scared of ghosts in movies and I'm scared of ghosts irl! I don't know what they're up to and therefore do not trust it! Also what if you do a seance, summon a victim of my mom's and then they ghost curse my future kid out of revenge!? You're not old YET, bitch! NO! THEY'LL ALREADY HAVE A FAIRY MOM AND SINCE I'LL BE PUSHING OUR FUTURE BABY OUT OF MYYY COOCH, I GET FIRST DIBS ON GODPARENT PICKING! Respectfully that's the dumbest thing you've ever said, but okay. How would Gigi know? Gigi got knocked up on accident, do we even know if she remembers making Glory?

TEXT 🕵️ OPHIONA

Fiona: WHAT?! IT'S A CASTLE, SHOULDN'T IT HAVE A DUNGEON?! You've got to go all HGTV on that 'basement' and give it a dungeon makeover stat. And that includes bringing in some ghosts if none live there now. I can lead a seance! Getting creampied is trendy, but with PURPOSE? It just takes you one step closer to mommy blogger but I'll love you no matter how geriatric you get. A GODMOTHER?! ME?! That's the best news I've gotten all year! I hope you have a baby NOW. Tell August to get a move on!

Ophelia: I KNOW! BUT TURNS OUT PHILIP HAS TRAUMA BECAUSE MY MOM LOCKED HIM IN A DUNGEON AND SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF HIM SO WE CAN'T EVEN PUT IN A DUNGEON OR HE'LL PROBABLY DIE OR SOMETHING IDK! Also we're scared of ghosts, keep your séance to yourself! I'm not going to be a mommy blogger! Or be geriatric! You're going to age WAY faster than I will, Mortal! YES! YOU! You're my bestest best friend, who else would it even be! Also the year's only been five days! Me too, but what's telling him to get a move on gonna do!

TEXT 🕵️ OPHIONA

Fiona: What are you going to do? ARE YOU GOING TO THROW ME IN THE DUNGEON? Because that'd be kind of fun! 😝 But yes, really! You know I'm always going to check the cards for you, you grandma. ARE YOU SAYING I'M GOING TO BE AN AUNTIE?! That's huge! Congratulations on creampie season!

Ophelia: NO! TURNS OUT OUR CASTLE DOESN’T HAVE A DUNGEON! JUST A BASEMENT! THAT MAY OR NOT HAVE GHOST BUT MORE THAN LIKELY DOES NOT! I knooow but why am I a grandma now! I’m so young and hip that I’m getting creampied with purpose now! That’s trendy! I’M SAYING YOU’RE GOING TO BE A *GODMOTHER* AT SOMEPOINT! It’s very huge and thank you!!

TEXT 💄 OPHILDA

Matilda: Did you know some people do drag performances as your mother? I saw one at a bar the other day and it was really good! They also did a good Cruella and Ursula. Do you think I should be offended or flattered that there were no Mim-personators?

Ophelia: I did!!! I’ve never seen one in person but I get tagged in videos of them on like every website! I’d be so offended of I were you, your grandma has such an iconic look and she shapeshifts which is like SUCH an easy excuse for an outfit reveal. Drag queens are really missing out on not doing her.

TEXT 🕵️ OPHIONA

Fiona: I know you're busy being a boring rich married lady BUT if you could be so kind as to make some time for your bestest of best friends, I need to talk to you! I was doing a reading for you for the new year and I think something BIG is coming your way. Do you have any secrets you've been hiding? Because maybe it stems from that!

Ophelia: Wow! First you attack me and then ask for my time! Wow. You know I’m too rich and powerful to put up with this shit anymore, right?! 😝 But really? That’s awesome! I wasn’t actually “hiding it” from you, but I guess now is as good a time as any to tell you that Aug and I are officially trying to start having a kid!! Maybe that’s the big thing coming our way?

TEXT 🧸 ROSES

August: I'm not suspicious! YOU'RE suspicious! I'm just having fun to keep from totally dying during this meeting. OOOOh, babe, we should have a dungeon! Like, we'll never use it for bad things, but it's so aesthetic, we should have it. I mean, Build a Bear is basically what it sounds like? You pick a bear model, and then you build it by adding cotton and a heart and clothes and stuff. Making a baby, I mean, you know how THAT happens, I'm sure.

Ophelia: YOU’RE THE MOST SUS!!! And you’re having fun at the expense of my poor yet ENORMOUS brain! We don’t already have a dungeon? How come we don’t have a dungeon! What kind of loser ass castle do you have me in, babe?? Building a bear sounds very frankenstein, I’m so down. HOW SURE ARE YOU? Not only am I from the isle and therefore learned nothing until six years ago, but I’m also a Noted Truant. For all you know I’m on the look out for the stork every day! Anyway, I meant you were using baby for bears and then when it got to MAKIN babies, I’m assuming you mean baby babies, right?

TEXT 🧸 ROSES

August: Babbeeeeyyyyy

August: I mean, there is PLENTY of room in the castle for it, but if you want to figure out if there's a secret room full of Build a Bears, you're gonna have to go searching for it yourself! Good luck! I'll give you three hints but that's it! Uuummm.... I meant weapons for the babies we'll build but like... we could make them too.

Ophelia: 👼🏽

Ophelia: I wasn’t expecting you to help me nor did I want you to because you’re SUSPICIOUS! I don’t need your hints, that just sounds like a three way ticket to the dungeon or something! I literally know nothing about build a bear so the build a baby/ make a baby conversation is starting to confuse me?

TEXT 🧸 ROSES

August: Use your words, Ophelicious Definition Make Them Boys Go Loco.

August: I don't know, they change up their stock all the time! Or at least, I would think that they do. I haven't been there in literal YEARS but I have a huge hankering for making a baby together now so we gotta check and if they don't have weapons, maybe we can home-make some!

Ophelia: 😶

Ophelia: Now that I’ve been gaslit by you I simply do not believe that you haven’t been there in years. As far as I know, you were there last week and you have a secret storage collection of built bears hidden somewhere in the castle. Home-make weapons or babies????

TEXT 🧸 ROSES

August: Yes, my gorgeousness?

August: Me neither! But that's the fun of us, I think. And I don't know if they do but they make lots of tiny little clothes and stuff so maybe?

Ophelia: 🤨

Ophelia: It sooo is the fun of us but still! How do you not know if they do? Considering it’s apparently the first fun thing you can think of, I was assuming that you knew all about what they have in stock!

TEXT 🧸 ROSES

August: I know you are, babe. It's one of the things about you that really, REALLY revs my engine. Lights my fire, as it were.

August: I SHOULD! WE CAN MAKE A BUILD A BEAR BABY TOGETHER! AND GET IT BUILD A BEAR WEAPONS!

Ophelia: 😐

Ophelia: TRULY not the direction I saw this conversation going. Does build a bear even make weapons?

TEXT 🧸 ROSES

August: It's too late, I'm already distracted! Now I'm just thinking about gifting you some sort of blade to use for fun sexy stuff later!

Ophelia: I will not let you distract me with horniess, I’m stronger than that!

Ophelia: Or you could get me a build a bear gift card since you love it and my ASS so much!

TEXT 🧸 ROSES

August: 😲 That's so violent, honey bunches! It's so hot.

Ophelia: 😡 DON’T GET DISTRACTED!

TEXT 🧸 ROSES

August: And you can't gatekeep gaslighting, girlboss! I don't even know what Build a Bear is?????

Ophelia: I can too! You can’t gaslight me or I’ll idk behead the build a bear you’ve apparently never seen before in your life!!

TEXT 🧸 ROSES

August: What do you mean, most precious love of mine? I didn't bring up Build a Bear???? Maybe it's your phone.

Ophelia: You can’t gaslight a girlboss, darling! My phone didn’t INVENT you saying you want to go to Build A Bear! I can read! And I checked!

TEXT 🧸 ROSES

August: I hate this place. I want to go to Build a Bear 😂

August: Okay, I don't HATE this place, but it is getting pretty boring. I feel like these meetings go on forever and I miss your pretty ass face. And also your pretty ass.

Ophelia: Aw that sucks :( BUT WHAT DO MY FACE AND ASS HAVE TO DO WITH BUILD A BEAR THO!!!????

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