Why?

Just a place to rant and talk to myself to feel like im saying things out loud

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Sadge

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AAAHHHHHHSHHSJFJDJSICIFJDBSJSJ

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Hate it hate it hate it

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Shit just gets worse everyday man. Im tired

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Dont you love when that manic happy period ends and the depression comes in full force

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I keep suddenly coming to and realizing my mind is arguing with myself vocally. Ill be talking outloud while arguing with my internal thoughts. It feels like theres 2 people in my head fighting against eachother and im scared.

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Im happy :)

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I just want to stop fucking up and finish this semester with good grades :(

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Mf depression moving in my head rent free

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Schools going well

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Im doing okay

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Starting school, excersizing regularly, eating healthy, making friends, taking mental health medication, seeing a therapist, being sober.... and im still fucking depressed

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Depression still going at it even though im accomplishing so much

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Bleh

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I have so many things happening at once its confusing.

1. I have friends and its helping me a lot

2. Im having parasocial dreams for the first time ever that are good dreams but with people I dont know in real life, but my favorite online people. Its making them good(?) Dreams but again parasocial as fuck

3. One of my friends is ruining their life exactly like I did in the past and theres nothing I can do to help them

4. Idk I feel kind of happy but paranoid constantly that its mania

5. Idk im drunk and rambling and im such a fucking paranoid im going crazy even if goof shit id happening

RIP having a normal brain

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I really hope I dont have nightmares tonight

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Whywhywhywhywhywhywhywhy