touch
summary: there’s nothing romantic about being so affectionate with your best friend, right? it’s not like you were both hiding feelings from each other, right?
warnings: female reader, mutual pining, fluff, brief angst, brief mention of end*avour’s existence.
word count: 1.6k
Shouto Todoroki was used to drawing himself back from friendships, always keeping people at arm’s length so he wasn’t really the type of person to be affectionate with his friends. But somehow it felt different with you and he found himself unconsciously leaning into your touch when you’d reach up to brush the hair out of his eyes, he’d become addicted to the warmth that spread through his chest whenever your skin brushed against his, he felt so cold when you weren’t around. And as much as he loved these small affectionate gestures, there was a part of him that wished that you wouldn’t reach for his hand while you walked with him because it had become impossible to ignore the way his heart sped up when your fingers interlocked with his and he could no longer pretend that he still saw you as a friend when you absentmindedly traced your fingers over the lines on his hands while listening to him talking about his day. It took everything in him to stop himself from leaning across the table and slotting his lips against yours, but you would never know about these feelings he secretly harboured for you, you had been the only constant in his life since before he could remember and he couldn’t afford to lose you so he pushed these feelings down and pretended that your face didn’t haunt his dreams at night.
He watched you talking to Mina from across the common room, a fond smile tugging at his lips as he watched you throw your head back laughing at something she said. A lot had changed since you were kids but two things were still the same, the first was that you still had the most contagious smile that seemed to light up every room you walked into, a smile that he could only describe as radiant. The second thing was that no matter how many times he had seen you smile, no matter how many times he had said or done something to make you smile, watching you smile was still enough to knock the breath out of his lungs. If he had to pick a memory to live in forever, it’d be one of the countless memories of your laugh, there was just something about the way your joy contorted your features that just made his heart start racing.
He wasn’t sure what time it was, but he knew it was late but he couldn’t bring himself to try and sleep, not when you were laying on his chest, your legs tangled with his and your forehead pressed against his. Your face was so close to his that if he just tilted his head in the right way, your lips would be on his. Your voice had dropped to a whisper as you talked to him, he wasn’t really sure about what you were talking about, too distracted by the way your fingers were dancing across his chest, tracing shapes into his chest. He could have sworn his heart stopped as he realised that it wasn’t shapes that you were tracing, instead you were tracing the same three words over and over again. He brushed the hair out of your eyes as he interrupted you, “I love you too.” Your eyes darted up to meet his, a smile slowly stretching across your features. He couldn’t help the sadness spreading through his heart as you quietly echoed his words, because he knew you loved him, you told him all the time but you didn’t love him the way he loved you. You loved him the way he loved Fuyumi and he loved you like loving you was the one thing he was put on this earth to do. He hadn’t noticed you moving but you were now tucked against his side, your fingers against his jaw as you tilted his face to the side, gently making him look at you, “What are you thinking about?”
He forced a smile, hoping you wouldn’t pick up on it, “Nothing, I’m just tired.”
“Well it is late, maybe I should go, let you sleep.” He shook his head, wrapping an arm around you, lips brushing against your forehead as he mumbled, “Stay.” against your skin.
You were painfully aware of Momo’s eyes on you as your head rested against Shouto’s shoulder, her dark eyes burned holes into your skin as Shouto moved off the sofa, mumbling an apologetic goodbye as he left you in the deserted common room. She cleared her throat as soon as the door shut behind him, “That’s an interesting way to look at a ‘friend’.”
“I am his friend. But he’s so much more to me. I look at him and I just..it’s like when the Grinch’s heart grows three sizes, but how do you tell the person that has always been there that you feel more when if you say something then you risk losing him?”
“But if you do say something, you can finally have closure, it’s not good for you to keep hiding this from him. Besides it’s Todoroki, he’s hardly going to despise you for being honest with him.” She stood up, approaching the closed door, “Just talk to him, no matter what happens, it’s better to know.”
She left and you weren’t sure of how long you sat there in the empty common room or even how long you spent pacing up and down in front of Shouto’s dorm room, constantly stopping yourself every time you went to knock. You’d finally given up on trying to talk to him and turned to walk down the hall to your own room when the door swung open. Shouto was leaning against the doorframe with that stupidly perfect smile gracing his features, “Y/n? What are you doing out here?”
“I....missed you?”
His smile widened and he stepped back, “Are you coming in?”
You could say no, you could just say goodnight and mark this whole thing down as a lucky escape but that was the thing about Shouto Todoroki, it was impossible to say no to him when he was looking at you like that. So you said yes and now you were sitting on his bed while he sat in his desk chair with his fingers intertwined through yours. His thumb ran over the back of your hand as he quietly spoke to you, “What are you doing up so late?” His eyes darted up to meet yours and your breath caught in your throat like a deer in headlights under the intense gaze of his mesmerising eyes. You glanced away, your skin burning as his gaze remained on you, “I told you, I just missed you.”
He laughed and you could see the amused smile creeping onto his face without even turning back to look at him and it occurred to you how well you actually knew him and all his mannerisms. He squeezed your hands lightly, “You spent the whole day with me, how did you miss me in the few hours that we weren’t together?”
You stared at your interlocked hands as you answered him so quietly that part of you hoped that he wouldn’t be able to hear you, “It doesn’t matter how much time we spend together because whenever you leave, I miss you so much that it hurts. I even miss you when you’re with me.”
He let go of one of your hands, his hand coming up to your chin to tilt your face up, “What do you mean?” His voice had softened as he searched your eyes for an answer.
“I think you know.”
“Why don’t you clarify for me?”
You sighed, your hand coming up to brush the stray hair out of his eyes, a warm feeling spreading through your chest when he leaned into your touch, “I miss a part of you that I’ve never met. The part I would meet if you loved me.”
He frowned, “I do love you.”
“If you loved me a different way.”
The frown disappeared, replaced by the amused smile, “Are you in love with me, Y/n L/n?”
You glanced away, feeling the heat rushing to your face, “That depends.”
“On what?”
You stole a glance at him and there was an emotion you didn’t quite recognise behind his eyes, “What you would say if I said yes.”
He shifted closer, his face was now barely an inch away from yours, “Hypothetically if you said you were, then I would tell you that I’ve been in love with you since you threatened to set my dad on fire when we were 6 and I had to explain to you why that wouldn’t have worked.” His hand moved from your chin to cup your face and he leaned closer, his forehead resting against yours, “Can I kiss you?”
You nodded and his lips slotted against yours, the hand that wasn’t cupping your face had found your waist and was slowly tugging you onto his lap. You moved your hands up to hold his face in your hands as he smiled against your lips.
Eventually he pulled back for air, a dopey grin on his face as he gazed up at you, “Stay here tonight? I don’t think I can say goodbye to you just yet.”
You leaned down, capturing his lips in a short kiss, “I’m not going anywhere, Pretty Boy.”
The grin on his face somehow got wider as he pulled you to lie on his bed with him, his lips against your neck as he mumbled declarations of love into your skin.
for my favourite icyhot simp: @patchofsunlight
