Almost instinctively, Chara reached to their chest to clutch the locket, a slow but rising dread rise from within them. It would’ve been fine if Chara had lived the rest of their lives out in the darkness of the Underground. It would’ve been fine to have lived in this strange, awful world and never once see his family again. Thoughts raced through their mind; some happy, some sad. They had so many things they wanted to say, right then and there, but no matter how they tried to get it out, they couldn’t make the words form.
I’m sorry. It was all my fault, all because–
The thought starts to form but Chara doesn’t let it finish. It wasn’t Chara’s fault! It was theirs.
That’s why they wanted things to change. That’s why Chara had to do what they had to- or else, nothing would get better for the monsters. For his family. For Asriel. Instead, here they both were. In the end, it really was all Chara’s fault. There was no denying their humanity- in all their selfishness, this was the outcome.
“I…I see. I just got here today.” Chara admits, pulling their hand away to rub their arm. They couldn’t even look at Asriel. “It’s different than before. I’ve- I mean. This isn’t my first time, but it’s been a long time.” They couldn’t even come up with the words to say and, instead, felt compelled to joke or tease the other, even though they knew that maybe would make things worse.
“…you know. I’m kinda happy. You’re okay- I thought for sure after all that you’d be…”
They shake their head, unable to finish that sentence as they finally turn to look at Asriel.
“Say. Don’t you have anything better to do? You’ll probably get sick if you stay out here talkin’ to me. I need to go find my new home.”
“Different than before?” He doesn’t know if they mean what he thinks they mean, but he understands, in a way. He was grabbed away before, too, but to someplace different. It had been a different city, not this one, but he’d left – and then – then, next thing he knew, he was here, in Spirale. His eyes watch Chara’s hand move from the locket and he averts his gaze himself, shrugging his shoulders with a bit too much exaggeration.
“… thought I’d be what? Fallen down? Dead?”
For a moment, the tone of his voice isn’t him – but, no, it is. He could laugh if it didn’t sting so badly, not just the pain of knowing that he shouldn’t be allowed to even stay like this in Spirale but the hurt of everything he did and everything he went through. A planted seed left to brave the wilderness by itself when it doesn’t know how will not blossom into a beautiful flower.
It was that horrendous flower that seemed to have spoken for a moment before Asriel swallows harshly and makes himself stare at Chara in return.
“I was. Am. I don’t know the rules here, but I–there was a lot more that happened. After… after our plan.” Maybe he’d tell them one day. Maybe. He doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to, even though everything had turned out alright in the end. He doesn’t want to burden Chara with all of that knowledge the way that he’d been burdened with it. “It doesn’t matter though. Not really, I guess.”
“Uh…” Anything better to do? He didn’t, not really. Their words echo in his head and for a moment they sound like him. Be careful in the outside world, okay? Despite what everyone thinks, it’s not as nice as it is here. “… it’s nothing I can’t do later. And you–you might get sick too, you know? Do you, um…”
Gosh, he wishes it was easier to talk to them. He wishes he didn’t blame himself so much. Maybe then the words would come easier.
“… do you need any help finding it?”
