I don't know his life
Josiah: When I lay down I can be more patient.
Me: Why?
Josiah: It's just how my life goes. Everyone's life is different.
Me: Thank you Confucius.
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@firstpancake
I don't know his life
Josiah: When I lay down I can be more patient.
Me: Why?
Josiah: It's just how my life goes. Everyone's life is different.
Me: Thank you Confucius.
Josiah: Mom, 10 plus 10 equals 20.
Me: Yes it is. Who told you that?
Josiah: I just thought of it. Right now! Like 3 seconds ago!
“Mom, take a selfie! Now make a funny face.”
Funny Monsters
Jojo: Mom! I'm a Law Vagina!
Me: You're a Law Vagina!??!?
Jojo: Yes!
Me: *bewildered and trying unsuccessfully not to crack up*
Boomer: He's a LAVA GIANT.
Me: Oh, well that makes much more sense.
Me: You have to go potty.
Jojo: No I don't.
Me: Then why are you holding your penis?
Jojo: To keep it safe!
Boomer: Good answer.
Harvard
Jojo: Where are you going?
Me: Boston.
Jojo: I used to live there.
Me: You did?
Jojo: Yes. My last school was there. Harvard. It's on Massachusetts Ave.
Me: It... is? *checking* You're right. Ok. Excellent.
Poor Garth
Garth Brooks: I'm yours and you're mine. Hey, that's what it's all about.
Jojo: I'M NOT YOURS GARTH BROOKS!!!
Yasssss
Jojo: Daddy it's drinking time!
Me: Oh hell yes!
Grown Up Words
Jojo: I like to say "oh shit" sometimes.
Me: I know, but that's a word only mommies should use.
Jojo: Can daddies use it?
Me: Yes, but mostly mommies.
Is that a real dinosaur?
Jojo: You can carry me and all the trains. You're strong like a takasaurus.
Me: Can you carry me?
Jojo: No, you're HUGE and I'm small like a tool.
Me: Ok then.
Valentines Candy Hearts
Jojo: What does this heart say? Me: It says "Marry Me". Like Mommy and Daddy are married. Who do you want to marry? Jojo: I don't want to marry any more persons. Because the Marry Person Shop is shutting down.
Jenny: Do you want to ride on PopPop's golf cart next weekend?
Jojo: I think that can be arranged.
Fire Truck Driver
Jojo: Does Aunt Jenny drive a fire truck?
Me: I don't think she does.
Jojo: Do you think one day when she grows up she can drive a fire truck?
Me: I think if Aunt Jenny works hard and applies herself that one day she could be a fire truck driver!
Compliments All Around
Jojo: I'm all dry! Me: Yes you are and you are wonderful! Jojo: And you are beautiful! Me: Thank you!
Unusual Flavors
Jojo: What flavor is this lollipop?
Me: I'm not sure.
Jojo: It's watermelon, dirt and skeletons.
Boomer: You have the potential to work at Monuts.
Fun Outside
Jojo: Sunny! No! Why won't Sunny get down?
Me: Because he wants to look out the window.
Jojo: Why?
Me: Why do you like to look out the window?
Jojo: Because he likes to see trees and other fun items outside?
Me: Exactly.
Jojo: No! Sunny get down!
Shapely
Jojo: This octagon wants to grow up and be a nonagon.
Me: I think you're the most awesome kid ever.