Jojo Says

Funny shit my kindergartener says.

[firstpancake]

I don't know his life

Josiah: When I lay down I can be more patient.

Me: Why?

Josiah: It's just how my life goes. Everyone's life is different.

Me: Thank you Confucius.

[firstpancake]

Josiah: Mom, 10 plus 10 equals 20.

Me: Yes it is. Who told you that?

Josiah: I just thought of it. Right now! Like 3 seconds ago!

[firstpancake]

“Mom, take a selfie! Now make a funny face.”

[firstpancake]

Funny Monsters

Jojo: Mom! I'm a Law Vagina!

Me: You're a Law Vagina!??!?

Jojo: Yes!

Me: *bewildered and trying unsuccessfully not to crack up*

Boomer: He's a LAVA GIANT.

Me: Oh, well that makes much more sense.

[firstpancake]

Me: You have to go potty.

Jojo: No I don't.

Me: Then why are you holding your penis?

Jojo: To keep it safe!

Boomer: Good answer.

[firstpancake]

Harvard

Jojo: Where are you going?

Me: Boston.

Jojo: I used to live there.

Me: You did?

Jojo: Yes. My last school was there. Harvard. It's on Massachusetts Ave.

Me: It... is? *checking* You're right. Ok. Excellent.

[firstpancake]

Poor Garth

Garth Brooks: I'm yours and you're mine. Hey, that's what it's all about.

Jojo: I'M NOT YOURS GARTH BROOKS!!!

[firstpancake]

Yasssss

Jojo: Daddy it's drinking time!

Me: Oh hell yes!

[firstpancake]

Grown Up Words

Jojo: I like to say "oh shit" sometimes.

Me: I know, but that's a word only mommies should use.

Jojo: Can daddies use it?

Me: Yes, but mostly mommies.

[firstpancake]

Is that a real dinosaur?

Jojo: You can carry me and all the trains. You're strong like a takasaurus.

Me: Can you carry me?

Jojo: No, you're HUGE and I'm small like a tool.

Me: Ok then.

[firstpancake]

Valentines Candy Hearts

Jojo: What does this heart say? Me: It says "Marry Me". Like Mommy and Daddy are married. Who do you want to marry? Jojo: I don't want to marry any more persons. Because the Marry Person Shop is shutting down.

[firstpancake]

Jenny: Do you want to ride on PopPop's golf cart next weekend?

Jojo: I think that can be arranged.

[firstpancake]

Fire Truck Driver

Jojo: Does Aunt Jenny drive a fire truck?

Me: I don't think she does.

Jojo: Do you think one day when she grows up she can drive a fire truck?

Me: I think if Aunt Jenny works hard and applies herself that one day she could be a fire truck driver!

[firstpancake]

Compliments All Around

Jojo: I'm all dry! Me: Yes you are and you are wonderful! Jojo: And you are beautiful! Me: Thank you!

[firstpancake]

Unusual Flavors

Jojo: What flavor is this lollipop?

Me: I'm not sure.

Jojo: It's watermelon, dirt and skeletons.

Boomer: You have the potential to work at Monuts.

[firstpancake]

Fun Outside

Jojo: Sunny! No! Why won't Sunny get down?

Me: Because he wants to look out the window.

Jojo: Why?

Me: Why do you like to look out the window?

Jojo: Because he likes to see trees and other fun items outside?

Me: Exactly.

Jojo: No! Sunny get down!

[firstpancake]

Shapely

Jojo: This octagon wants to grow up and be a nonagon.

Me: I think you're the most awesome kid ever.