South of Nowhere 1.03 Retro Recap
In this episode, Ashley’s famous rockstar dad is coming to hear her sing at the club where it’s normal for 16 year olds to hang out. This episode has alcohol, homophobia, and relationship DRAMAAAAA! All the relationships have drama!
You’ll find me in da club... drinking my non-alcoholic beverage because I am 16
Sweet Spencer Carlin can not believe Ashley’s dad has never seen her play because she can’t imagine what it must be like to have an absentee parent. She also can’t imagine Ashley ever not looking amazing. While Spencer is helping Ashley choose an outfit their actual dialogue is:
Ashley: “I want my outfit to have the right blend of ‘rocker smoking’ sexiness and ‘I’m no slave to fashion’ attitude.”
Spencer: “That shouldn’t be hard, that’s what you look like everyday.”
Meanwhile Glen is judging Clay for hanging out with Sean because he looks like a drug dealer, and he is judging Spencer for hanging out with Ashley because she looks like a lesbian (see above quote about her everyday attire). This is rich because he’s totally macking on Madison who wants to hang out with him just to get back at Aiden for ditching her at the...omg this drama is too much to even recap. I will mention that Madison refers to Spencer and Ashley as “The Ellen Twins”. To which Aiden declares “Spencer’s not gay!”, as if there is something wrong with being gay. And then Madison implies that Aiden might be gay because he’s doesn’t immediately want to go south of her nowhere. Ugh “gay” as an isult, gross.
I want you to want me even though you are the most boring person at this school.
At the club for adults and children alike, Spencer gets drunk off Ashley’s flask and kisses Aiden who kisses her back.
Excuse me. No.
Clearly upset, Ashley pulls Spencer into the powder room (like there’s a three-mirror vanity in there so yeah I’m calling it the powder room). When Spencer starts leaning in real close, Ashley gently pushes her back and even though I’m like “ah they almost kissed!”, I’m glad they don’t because Spencer is so drunk. It’s like the only time my heart went “awwwww” in response to two girls not kissing.
Wanna kiss or film a melodramatic 90s music video in front of this antique set piece?
I will not kiss you... but when you touch me like this, and you hold me like that...
Instead of kissing, Ashley wants to talk about her feelings (which is more lesbian than drunk kissing, actually). She’s upset because her dad hasn’t showed up yet and because she needs Spencer’s support right now but Spencer is druuuunk. Spencer assures Ashley that she’s 100% here for her, but she’s so drunk that while the sentiment might be true, we doubt she can follow through at this point. But she does give Ashley a drunken kiss on the cheek. Aww.
Ashley goes on stage but Spencer and Aiden are making out in the car! Aiden does ask if she’s sure about doing this and she confirms she is even though she’s clearly drunk. Luckily she passes out and that’s where it ends. He brings her home where they find Glen and Madison making out on the couch. The boys threaten each other and everyone tells everyone else to shut up and then Spencer’s like “this would be so much better if Ashley were here!” And just when I’m wondering how Mom and Dad are sleeping through this, they come downstairs in their pjs and Spencer throws up.
Meanwhile! Sean was offended that Clay talked to his brother in the school yard (oh that sounds so quaint! the quad? the outdoor cafeteria?) instead of talking to him. Sean thinks Clay would rather blend in with the white folks instead of hanging out with the black kids. More race discussions! Sean’s like “I’d choose the boys that have had my back since we were kids”. And Clay’s like “yeah, same - just like my brother and sister. Checkmate.”
Friends again!
Back at the club, the hot bartender is consoling Ashley about her friends and dad ditching her.
I’m here to give life advice and to turn you gay. Teenagers welcome!
Then Ashley’s Dad, who was clearly in an 80’s hair band, runs in apologizing about generally being bad at dadding and at acting. Then they sing a song. It’s cheesy as hell.
Back at school on Monday, Aiden and Madison break up via text while they are standing 5 ft apart and throwing dirty looks to each other. I think it’s my favorite part of the episode.
We R thru. U R boring. Good bye 2 U.
On the Spashley side of the courtyard (I think I like school yard better, it’s so adorable!), Ashley’s like “at least you had Aiden to hold your hair back I mean whatever I get it he’s cute so you’re probably into him my heart’s not breaking it’s fine”. Spencer affirms that there’s nothing between her and Aiden, and she apologizes to Ashley for being a drunken mess when Ashley needed her and she promises to be a better friend from here on out. And here’s the REAL point of this conversation: Ashley says she needs someone she can count on because there are enough people in her life on whom she can’t. Oh man my heart. That is the main thing that Ashley wants out of this relationship with Spencer at the moment. I love that these two are drawn together almost immediately upon meeting, but it’s not only about sexual attraction. They are (well mostly Spencer is) still trying to figure out this confusing thing called sexuality and instead of only dancing around an attraction, they end up working on building this deep, important friendship along the way. If only all lesbian relationships on tv were crafted so well!
Is it true you have a CD of singing teenage lesbians from the future?
Yeah, their characters aren’t as well developed as ours, but they sound awesome singing this Alanis Morissette/Carole King mash-up!
