HEY!

I'm Fisher! Any pronouns except he and she. 

[willows-general-goods]

do you have raw meat.

Yes we do! We have some fresh in our fridge section, but there's a larger variety in the freezer. Are you looking for any kind or cut in particular or just something in general?

[fisher-barrow]

What is least likely to kill me

[willows-general-goods]

Uhm. Like. When eaten raw? Because... I'd have to say very fresh fish, probably. But also, raw?

Wait, no, hang on, are you okay? You haven't come by since the padlock thing, and I haven't heard from you. Are you alright?

[fisher-barrow]

Look, I'm really sorry to say this. But at this point either you've connected the dots, or you're never going to.

[willows-general-goods]

I...

*They pause, then sigh.*

I know. I... I know. Why.

But I don't know why you've been avoiding me. Did you think I- that I... would hurt you?

Because I wouldn't! Not in a million years. I- it would be really messed up. If I did that. Because of who you are.

...especially now.

Uh. We have some high quality beef upstairs, I think. I'll just. Go get that for you. Be back in a minute.

[fisher-barrow]

... It's not just you if it makes you feel better. I've been avoiding everyone.

... and yeah. Thanks.

[willows-general-goods]

do you have raw meat.

Yes we do! We have some fresh in our fridge section, but there's a larger variety in the freezer. Are you looking for any kind or cut in particular or just something in general?

[fisher-barrow]

What is least likely to kill me

[willows-general-goods]

Uhm. Like. When eaten raw? Because... I'd have to say very fresh fish, probably. But also, raw?

Wait, no, hang on, are you okay? You haven't come by since the padlock thing, and I haven't heard from you. Are you alright?

[fisher-barrow]

Look, I'm really sorry to say this. But at this point either you've connected the dots, or you're never going to.

[willows-general-goods]

do you have raw meat.

Yes we do! We have some fresh in our fridge section, but there's a larger variety in the freezer. Are you looking for any kind or cut in particular or just something in general?

[fisher-barrow]

What is least likely to kill me

[fisher-barrow]

So who's gonna get mad if i eat raw meat

[just-anya-brocker]

Your stomach probably.

[fisher-barrow]

Okay so nobody that matters thanks

[fisher-barrow]

So who's gonna get mad if i eat raw meat

[fisher-barrow]

dyed piecicng. color pierce

I'm not dying a piercing.

[neighbors-emmet-and-soup]

isn't that how it works?

[fisher-barrow]

Not really, no.

[neighbors-emmet-and-soup]

oh

well how are they so colorful then?

[fisher-barrow]

The metal comes like that. Most of my piercings are silver, though.

[fisher-barrow]

dyed piecicng. color pierce

I'm not dying a piercing.

[neighbors-emmet-and-soup]

isn't that how it works?

[fisher-barrow]

Not really, no.

[fisher-barrow]

dyed piecicng. color pierce

I'm not dying a piercing.

[fisher-barrow]

... Gah. I'm bored.

...

New hair colour, or attempting to pierce my ears myself again?

[spike-fogg]

hey dude. got a puppy. her name is Machine Gun Kelly and her life is worth more than yours wanna come over and see her

- Fisher

I will be there in five minutes this better not be a fucking prank dude

[fisher-barrow]

why would i lie about this 

[spike-fogg]

Nevermind ten minutes my little rat sibling stole my motherfucking skateboard again

[fisher-barrow]

ah the perks of being an only child. anyways im sitting with her out front when you get here 

[spike-fogg]

[Spike appears in eight minutes, wearing a pair of battered-looking rollerskates.]

I’mhereFishershowmethepuppy

[fisher-barrow]

Don’t SCARE her, jeeze! 

[There’s a black and white border collie puppy sitting in Fisher’s lap.]

[spike-fogg]

Holy fuck! Puppy!

[Spike trips over trying to get the rollerskates off. He manages it as quickly as he can and hurries over to Fisher.]

[fisher-barrow]

Her life is worth objectively more than yours but if you’re gentle you can say hi. 

[spike-fogg]

[Spike sticks out the flat of his hand to the puppy comically slowly.]

Hi, puppy! Hi puppy! Hi!

[fisher-barrow]

[The puppy sniffs him, curiously.] 

[spike-fogg]

[He makes a weird noise like a deflating balloon and pats its head, very gently.]

[fisher-barrow]

So yeah, I got a puppy. 

[spike-fogg]

[Spike is stroking the puppy. He doesn’t hear them.]

[fisher-barrow]

Spike. Spike are you in there?

[spike-fogg]

Huh? What?

[He doesn’t look up. The puppy is licking his fingers.]

[fisher-barrow]

I see you’re friends with machine gun kelly border collie edition now. 

[The puppy immediately starts gnawing on him.]

[spike-fogg]

[He seems pretty much unfazed.]

Aw, no, that hurts. Don’t do that, lil’ baby. C’mon.

[fisher-barrow]

Sorry. She’s teething. 

[spike-fogg]

I would die for her.

[fisher-barrow]

If it comes to it you will.

[spike-fogg]

[He is still petting the puppy. It is still chewing his fingers. There is a Mohawk-Wearing, Bass-Playing Fully Grown Man crouching on Fisher’s doorstep, petting a puppy.]

[fisher-barrow]

... So do you want to hold her? 

[spike-fogg]

I can hold her?!

[fisher-barrow]

She’ll be too big to hold as an adult, so... 

[spike-fogg]

[Spike very gently picks up the puppy, sits down with his legs crossed, and puts it in his lap.]

[fisher-barrow]

[The puppy immediately snuggles in.] 

I think she likes you. Just a hunch.

[spike-fogg]

[Spike looks like he’s about to cry.]

Fisher. Fisher, I love this puppy. I would not hesitate to die for this puppy.

[fisher-barrow]

You said that about your cat, too. Starting to think you just like animals. 

[spike-fogg]

She’s so small, Fisher! Look! She’s so sweet-

[fisher-barrow]

Spike. 

I know. 

She’s my dog. 

[spike-fogg]

[Spike ignores them.]

She's the best dog. Who's a good puppy? Who's a good puppy?

[fisher-barrow]

Spike, dude, you can’t keep my dog. 

[The puppy nuzzles her head against Spike.] 

[spike-fogg]

[He doesn't answer. He's stroking the puppy with one hand; the other is covered in dog drool, and he's wiping it off on his shirt.]

[fisher-barrow]

Spike, give me the dog back. 

[spike-fogg]

Oh, come on- look at her, she's just got comfy!

[fisher-barrow]

Spike, dude, I’m sorry, but you can’t have my dog. 

[spike-fogg]

[Spike sighs.]

Yeah, yeah. She wouldn't get along with Val anyway, I bet.

Okay, C'mon, little baby. Back to Fisher.

[He lifts the puppy up and hands it back, very gently.]

[fisher-barrow]

Yeah, isn’t your boyfriend, like. THE animal hater? How does he get along with the cat? 

[Fisher promptly takes the puppy, holding her gently.] 

[spike-fogg]

I think it's mostly just dogs he doesn't like. It's, y'know, a whole thing.

[fisher-barrow]

I could terrorize him, but I’m gonna be nice instead. 

Anyways, you got plans anytime soon? I wanna do something stupid. 

[spike-fogg]

[Spike is scratching the puppy's ear.]

Nope. No plans. What do you have in mind?

[fisher-barrow]

Anything along the lines of “fuck around and find out.” 

[spike-fogg]

You know what would be really fun and really stupid?

[fisher-barrow]

Oh? 

[spike-fogg]

Camping in Mulberry woods.

[fisher-barrow]

That’s the stupidest string of word’s that’s ever come out of your mouth. I’m in. 

[spike-fogg]

I'm going to try to rope Val in. You reckon we can persuade Acer 'n' Fable to come too?

[fisher-barrow]

You’re convincing Acer, I don’t even want to TRY and convince him to be near Valdis for more than 15 minutes.

[spike-fogg]

Remind me again what the fuck that's all about?

[fisher-barrow]

I’m going to be honest, I have no fucking clue, but Acer and Valdis do NOT like one another. Been that way for years. Fact of life. 

I’ll ask Fable, but you’re on those two. 

[spike-fogg]

Eh. Maybe I’ll think of something.

[He is still stroking the puppy.]

This is the best fuckin’ dog, Fisher.

[fisher-barrow]

I know, Spike, that’s why I got her. 

[spike-fogg]

hey dude. got a puppy. her name is Machine Gun Kelly and her life is worth more than yours wanna come over and see her

- Fisher

I will be there in five minutes this better not be a fucking prank dude

[fisher-barrow]

why would i lie about this 

[spike-fogg]

Nevermind ten minutes my little rat sibling stole my motherfucking skateboard again

[fisher-barrow]

ah the perks of being an only child. anyways im sitting with her out front when you get here 

[spike-fogg]

[Spike appears in eight minutes, wearing a pair of battered-looking rollerskates.]

I’mhereFishershowmethepuppy

[fisher-barrow]

Don’t SCARE her, jeeze! 

[There’s a black and white border collie puppy sitting in Fisher’s lap.]

[spike-fogg]

Holy fuck! Puppy!

[Spike trips over trying to get the rollerskates off. He manages it as quickly as he can and hurries over to Fisher.]

[fisher-barrow]

Her life is worth objectively more than yours but if you’re gentle you can say hi. 

[spike-fogg]

[Spike sticks out the flat of his hand to the puppy comically slowly.]

Hi, puppy! Hi puppy! Hi!

[fisher-barrow]

[The puppy sniffs him, curiously.] 

[spike-fogg]

[He makes a weird noise like a deflating balloon and pats its head, very gently.]

[fisher-barrow]

So yeah, I got a puppy. 

[spike-fogg]

[Spike is stroking the puppy. He doesn’t hear them.]

[fisher-barrow]

Spike. Spike are you in there?

[spike-fogg]

Huh? What?

[He doesn’t look up. The puppy is licking his fingers.]

[fisher-barrow]

I see you’re friends with machine gun kelly border collie edition now. 

[The puppy immediately starts gnawing on him.]

[spike-fogg]

[He seems pretty much unfazed.]

Aw, no, that hurts. Don’t do that, lil’ baby. C’mon.

[fisher-barrow]

Sorry. She’s teething. 

[spike-fogg]

I would die for her.

[fisher-barrow]

If it comes to it you will.

[spike-fogg]

[He is still petting the puppy. It is still chewing his fingers. There is a Mohawk-Wearing, Bass-Playing Fully Grown Man crouching on Fisher’s doorstep, petting a puppy.]

[fisher-barrow]

... So do you want to hold her? 

[spike-fogg]

I can hold her?!

[fisher-barrow]

She’ll be too big to hold as an adult, so... 

[spike-fogg]

[Spike very gently picks up the puppy, sits down with his legs crossed, and puts it in his lap.]

[fisher-barrow]

[The puppy immediately snuggles in.] 

I think she likes you. Just a hunch.

[spike-fogg]

[Spike looks like he’s about to cry.]

Fisher. Fisher, I love this puppy. I would not hesitate to die for this puppy.

[fisher-barrow]

You said that about your cat, too. Starting to think you just like animals. 

[spike-fogg]

She’s so small, Fisher! Look! She’s so sweet-

[fisher-barrow]

Spike. 

I know. 

She’s my dog. 

[spike-fogg]

[Spike ignores them.]

She's the best dog. Who's a good puppy? Who's a good puppy?

[fisher-barrow]

Spike, dude, you can’t keep my dog. 

[The puppy nuzzles her head against Spike.] 

[spike-fogg]

[He doesn't answer. He's stroking the puppy with one hand; the other is covered in dog drool, and he's wiping it off on his shirt.]

[fisher-barrow]

Spike, give me the dog back. 

[spike-fogg]

Oh, come on- look at her, she's just got comfy!

[fisher-barrow]

Spike, dude, I’m sorry, but you can’t have my dog. 

[spike-fogg]

[Spike sighs.]

Yeah, yeah. She wouldn't get along with Val anyway, I bet.

Okay, C'mon, little baby. Back to Fisher.

[He lifts the puppy up and hands it back, very gently.]

[fisher-barrow]

Yeah, isn’t your boyfriend, like. THE animal hater? How does he get along with the cat? 

[Fisher promptly takes the puppy, holding her gently.] 

[spike-fogg]

I think it's mostly just dogs he doesn't like. It's, y'know, a whole thing.

[fisher-barrow]

I could terrorize him, but I’m gonna be nice instead. 

Anyways, you got plans anytime soon? I wanna do something stupid. 

[spike-fogg]

[Spike is scratching the puppy's ear.]

Nope. No plans. What do you have in mind?

[fisher-barrow]

Anything along the lines of “fuck around and find out.” 

[spike-fogg]

You know what would be really fun and really stupid?

[fisher-barrow]

Oh? 

[spike-fogg]

Camping in Mulberry woods.

[fisher-barrow]

That’s the stupidest string of word’s that’s ever come out of your mouth. I’m in. 

[spike-fogg]

I'm going to try to rope Val in. You reckon we can persuade Acer 'n' Fable to come too?

[fisher-barrow]

You’re convincing Acer, I don’t even want to TRY and convince him to be near Valdis for more than 15 minutes.

[spike-fogg]

Remind me again what the fuck that's all about?

[fisher-barrow]

I’m going to be honest, I have no fucking clue, but Acer and Valdis do NOT like one another. Been that way for years. Fact of life. 

I’ll ask Fable, but you’re on those two. 

[spike-fogg]

hey dude. got a puppy. her name is Machine Gun Kelly and her life is worth more than yours wanna come over and see her

- Fisher

I will be there in five minutes this better not be a fucking prank dude

[fisher-barrow]

why would i lie about this 

[spike-fogg]

Nevermind ten minutes my little rat sibling stole my motherfucking skateboard again

[fisher-barrow]

ah the perks of being an only child. anyways im sitting with her out front when you get here 

[spike-fogg]

[Spike appears in eight minutes, wearing a pair of battered-looking rollerskates.]

I’mhereFishershowmethepuppy

[fisher-barrow]

Don’t SCARE her, jeeze! 

[There’s a black and white border collie puppy sitting in Fisher’s lap.]

[spike-fogg]

Holy fuck! Puppy!

[Spike trips over trying to get the rollerskates off. He manages it as quickly as he can and hurries over to Fisher.]

[fisher-barrow]

Her life is worth objectively more than yours but if you’re gentle you can say hi. 

[spike-fogg]

[Spike sticks out the flat of his hand to the puppy comically slowly.]

Hi, puppy! Hi puppy! Hi!

[fisher-barrow]

[The puppy sniffs him, curiously.] 

[spike-fogg]

[He makes a weird noise like a deflating balloon and pats its head, very gently.]

[fisher-barrow]

So yeah, I got a puppy. 

[spike-fogg]

[Spike is stroking the puppy. He doesn’t hear them.]

[fisher-barrow]

Spike. Spike are you in there?

[spike-fogg]

Huh? What?

[He doesn’t look up. The puppy is licking his fingers.]

[fisher-barrow]

I see you’re friends with machine gun kelly border collie edition now. 

[The puppy immediately starts gnawing on him.]

[spike-fogg]

[He seems pretty much unfazed.]

Aw, no, that hurts. Don’t do that, lil’ baby. C’mon.

[fisher-barrow]

Sorry. She’s teething. 

[spike-fogg]

I would die for her.

[fisher-barrow]

If it comes to it you will.

[spike-fogg]

[He is still petting the puppy. It is still chewing his fingers. There is a Mohawk-Wearing, Bass-Playing Fully Grown Man crouching on Fisher’s doorstep, petting a puppy.]

[fisher-barrow]

... So do you want to hold her? 

[spike-fogg]

I can hold her?!

[fisher-barrow]

She’ll be too big to hold as an adult, so... 

[spike-fogg]

[Spike very gently picks up the puppy, sits down with his legs crossed, and puts it in his lap.]

[fisher-barrow]

[The puppy immediately snuggles in.] 

I think she likes you. Just a hunch.

[spike-fogg]

[Spike looks like he’s about to cry.]

Fisher. Fisher, I love this puppy. I would not hesitate to die for this puppy.

[fisher-barrow]

You said that about your cat, too. Starting to think you just like animals. 

[spike-fogg]

She’s so small, Fisher! Look! She’s so sweet-

[fisher-barrow]

Spike. 

I know. 

She’s my dog. 

[spike-fogg]

[Spike ignores them.]

She's the best dog. Who's a good puppy? Who's a good puppy?

[fisher-barrow]

Spike, dude, you can’t keep my dog. 

[The puppy nuzzles her head against Spike.] 

[spike-fogg]

[He doesn't answer. He's stroking the puppy with one hand; the other is covered in dog drool, and he's wiping it off on his shirt.]

[fisher-barrow]

Spike, give me the dog back. 

[spike-fogg]

Oh, come on- look at her, she's just got comfy!

[fisher-barrow]

Spike, dude, I’m sorry, but you can’t have my dog. 

[spike-fogg]

[Spike sighs.]

Yeah, yeah. She wouldn't get along with Val anyway, I bet.

Okay, C'mon, little baby. Back to Fisher.

[He lifts the puppy up and hands it back, very gently.]

[fisher-barrow]

Yeah, isn’t your boyfriend, like. THE animal hater? How does he get along with the cat? 

[Fisher promptly takes the puppy, holding her gently.] 

[spike-fogg]

I think it's mostly just dogs he doesn't like. It's, y'know, a whole thing.

[fisher-barrow]

I could terrorize him, but I’m gonna be nice instead. 

Anyways, you got plans anytime soon? I wanna do something stupid. 

[spike-fogg]

[Spike is scratching the puppy's ear.]

Nope. No plans. What do you have in mind?

[fisher-barrow]

Anything along the lines of “fuck around and find out.” 

[spike-fogg]

You know what would be really fun and really stupid?

[fisher-barrow]

Oh? 

[spike-fogg]

Camping in Mulberry woods.

[fisher-barrow]

That’s the stupidest string of word’s that’s ever come out of your mouth. I’m in. 

[spike-fogg]

I'm going to try to rope Val in. You reckon we can persuade Acer 'n' Fable to come too?

[fisher-barrow]

You’re convincing Acer, I don’t even want to TRY and convince him to be near Valdis for more than 15 minutes.

[spike-fogg]

hey dude. got a puppy. her name is Machine Gun Kelly and her life is worth more than yours wanna come over and see her

- Fisher

I will be there in five minutes this better not be a fucking prank dude

[fisher-barrow]

why would i lie about this 

[spike-fogg]

Nevermind ten minutes my little rat sibling stole my motherfucking skateboard again

[fisher-barrow]

ah the perks of being an only child. anyways im sitting with her out front when you get here 

[spike-fogg]

[Spike appears in eight minutes, wearing a pair of battered-looking rollerskates.]

I’mhereFishershowmethepuppy

[fisher-barrow]

Don’t SCARE her, jeeze! 

[There’s a black and white border collie puppy sitting in Fisher’s lap.]

[spike-fogg]

Holy fuck! Puppy!

[Spike trips over trying to get the rollerskates off. He manages it as quickly as he can and hurries over to Fisher.]

[fisher-barrow]

Her life is worth objectively more than yours but if you’re gentle you can say hi. 

[spike-fogg]

[Spike sticks out the flat of his hand to the puppy comically slowly.]

Hi, puppy! Hi puppy! Hi!

[fisher-barrow]

[The puppy sniffs him, curiously.] 

[spike-fogg]

[He makes a weird noise like a deflating balloon and pats its head, very gently.]

[fisher-barrow]

So yeah, I got a puppy. 

[spike-fogg]

[Spike is stroking the puppy. He doesn’t hear them.]

[fisher-barrow]

Spike. Spike are you in there?

[spike-fogg]

Huh? What?

[He doesn’t look up. The puppy is licking his fingers.]

[fisher-barrow]

I see you’re friends with machine gun kelly border collie edition now. 

[The puppy immediately starts gnawing on him.]

[spike-fogg]

[He seems pretty much unfazed.]

Aw, no, that hurts. Don’t do that, lil’ baby. C’mon.

[fisher-barrow]

Sorry. She’s teething. 

[spike-fogg]

I would die for her.

[fisher-barrow]

If it comes to it you will.

[spike-fogg]

[He is still petting the puppy. It is still chewing his fingers. There is a Mohawk-Wearing, Bass-Playing Fully Grown Man crouching on Fisher’s doorstep, petting a puppy.]

[fisher-barrow]

... So do you want to hold her? 

[spike-fogg]

I can hold her?!

[fisher-barrow]

She’ll be too big to hold as an adult, so... 

[spike-fogg]

[Spike very gently picks up the puppy, sits down with his legs crossed, and puts it in his lap.]

[fisher-barrow]

[The puppy immediately snuggles in.] 

I think she likes you. Just a hunch.

[spike-fogg]

[Spike looks like he’s about to cry.]

Fisher. Fisher, I love this puppy. I would not hesitate to die for this puppy.

[fisher-barrow]

You said that about your cat, too. Starting to think you just like animals. 

[spike-fogg]

She’s so small, Fisher! Look! She’s so sweet-

[fisher-barrow]

Spike. 

I know. 

She’s my dog. 

[spike-fogg]

[Spike ignores them.]

She's the best dog. Who's a good puppy? Who's a good puppy?

[fisher-barrow]

Spike, dude, you can’t keep my dog. 

[The puppy nuzzles her head against Spike.] 

[spike-fogg]

[He doesn't answer. He's stroking the puppy with one hand; the other is covered in dog drool, and he's wiping it off on his shirt.]

[fisher-barrow]

Spike, give me the dog back. 

[spike-fogg]

Oh, come on- look at her, she's just got comfy!

[fisher-barrow]

Spike, dude, I’m sorry, but you can’t have my dog. 

[spike-fogg]

[Spike sighs.]

Yeah, yeah. She wouldn't get along with Val anyway, I bet.

Okay, C'mon, little baby. Back to Fisher.

[He lifts the puppy up and hands it back, very gently.]

[fisher-barrow]

Yeah, isn’t your boyfriend, like. THE animal hater? How does he get along with the cat? 

[Fisher promptly takes the puppy, holding her gently.] 

[spike-fogg]

I think it's mostly just dogs he doesn't like. It's, y'know, a whole thing.

[fisher-barrow]

I could terrorize him, but I’m gonna be nice instead. 

Anyways, you got plans anytime soon? I wanna do something stupid. 

[spike-fogg]

[Spike is scratching the puppy's ear.]

Nope. No plans. What do you have in mind?

[fisher-barrow]

Anything along the lines of “fuck around and find out.” 

[spike-fogg]

You know what would be really fun and really stupid?

[fisher-barrow]

Oh? 

[spike-fogg]

Camping in Mulberry woods.

[fisher-barrow]

That’s the stupidest string of word’s that’s ever come out of your mouth. I’m in. 

[spike-fogg]

hey dude. got a puppy. her name is Machine Gun Kelly and her life is worth more than yours wanna come over and see her

- Fisher

I will be there in five minutes this better not be a fucking prank dude

[fisher-barrow]

why would i lie about this 

[spike-fogg]

Nevermind ten minutes my little rat sibling stole my motherfucking skateboard again

[fisher-barrow]

ah the perks of being an only child. anyways im sitting with her out front when you get here 

[spike-fogg]

[Spike appears in eight minutes, wearing a pair of battered-looking rollerskates.]

I’mhereFishershowmethepuppy

[fisher-barrow]

Don’t SCARE her, jeeze! 

[There’s a black and white border collie puppy sitting in Fisher’s lap.]

[spike-fogg]

Holy fuck! Puppy!

[Spike trips over trying to get the rollerskates off. He manages it as quickly as he can and hurries over to Fisher.]

[fisher-barrow]

Her life is worth objectively more than yours but if you’re gentle you can say hi. 

[spike-fogg]

[Spike sticks out the flat of his hand to the puppy comically slowly.]

Hi, puppy! Hi puppy! Hi!

[fisher-barrow]

[The puppy sniffs him, curiously.] 

[spike-fogg]

[He makes a weird noise like a deflating balloon and pats its head, very gently.]

[fisher-barrow]

So yeah, I got a puppy. 

[spike-fogg]

[Spike is stroking the puppy. He doesn’t hear them.]

[fisher-barrow]

Spike. Spike are you in there?

[spike-fogg]

Huh? What?

[He doesn’t look up. The puppy is licking his fingers.]

[fisher-barrow]

I see you’re friends with machine gun kelly border collie edition now. 

[The puppy immediately starts gnawing on him.]

[spike-fogg]

[He seems pretty much unfazed.]

Aw, no, that hurts. Don’t do that, lil’ baby. C’mon.

[fisher-barrow]

Sorry. She’s teething. 

[spike-fogg]

I would die for her.

[fisher-barrow]

If it comes to it you will.

[spike-fogg]

[He is still petting the puppy. It is still chewing his fingers. There is a Mohawk-Wearing, Bass-Playing Fully Grown Man crouching on Fisher’s doorstep, petting a puppy.]

[fisher-barrow]

... So do you want to hold her? 

[spike-fogg]

I can hold her?!

[fisher-barrow]

She’ll be too big to hold as an adult, so... 

[spike-fogg]

[Spike very gently picks up the puppy, sits down with his legs crossed, and puts it in his lap.]

[fisher-barrow]

[The puppy immediately snuggles in.] 

I think she likes you. Just a hunch.

[spike-fogg]

[Spike looks like he’s about to cry.]

Fisher. Fisher, I love this puppy. I would not hesitate to die for this puppy.

[fisher-barrow]

You said that about your cat, too. Starting to think you just like animals. 

[spike-fogg]

She’s so small, Fisher! Look! She’s so sweet-

[fisher-barrow]

Spike. 

I know. 

She’s my dog. 

[spike-fogg]

[Spike ignores them.]

She's the best dog. Who's a good puppy? Who's a good puppy?

[fisher-barrow]

Spike, dude, you can’t keep my dog. 

[The puppy nuzzles her head against Spike.] 

[spike-fogg]

[He doesn't answer. He's stroking the puppy with one hand; the other is covered in dog drool, and he's wiping it off on his shirt.]

[fisher-barrow]

Spike, give me the dog back. 

[spike-fogg]

Oh, come on- look at her, she's just got comfy!

[fisher-barrow]

Spike, dude, I’m sorry, but you can’t have my dog. 

[spike-fogg]

[Spike sighs.]

Yeah, yeah. She wouldn't get along with Val anyway, I bet.

Okay, C'mon, little baby. Back to Fisher.

[He lifts the puppy up and hands it back, very gently.]

[fisher-barrow]

Yeah, isn’t your boyfriend, like. THE animal hater? How does he get along with the cat? 

[Fisher promptly takes the puppy, holding her gently.] 

[spike-fogg]

I think it's mostly just dogs he doesn't like. It's, y'know, a whole thing.

[fisher-barrow]

I could terrorize him, but I’m gonna be nice instead. 

Anyways, you got plans anytime soon? I wanna do something stupid. 

[spike-fogg]

[Spike is scratching the puppy's ear.]

Nope. No plans. What do you have in mind?

[fisher-barrow]

Anything along the lines of “fuck around and find out.” 

[spike-fogg]

You know what would be really fun and really stupid?

[fisher-barrow]

Oh? 

[spike-fogg]

hey dude. got a puppy. her name is Machine Gun Kelly and her life is worth more than yours wanna come over and see her

- Fisher

I will be there in five minutes this better not be a fucking prank dude

[fisher-barrow]

why would i lie about this 

[spike-fogg]

Nevermind ten minutes my little rat sibling stole my motherfucking skateboard again

[fisher-barrow]

ah the perks of being an only child. anyways im sitting with her out front when you get here 

[spike-fogg]

[Spike appears in eight minutes, wearing a pair of battered-looking rollerskates.]

I’mhereFishershowmethepuppy

[fisher-barrow]

Don’t SCARE her, jeeze! 

[There’s a black and white border collie puppy sitting in Fisher’s lap.]

[spike-fogg]

Holy fuck! Puppy!

[Spike trips over trying to get the rollerskates off. He manages it as quickly as he can and hurries over to Fisher.]

[fisher-barrow]

Her life is worth objectively more than yours but if you’re gentle you can say hi. 

[spike-fogg]

[Spike sticks out the flat of his hand to the puppy comically slowly.]

Hi, puppy! Hi puppy! Hi!

[fisher-barrow]

[The puppy sniffs him, curiously.] 

[spike-fogg]

[He makes a weird noise like a deflating balloon and pats its head, very gently.]

[fisher-barrow]

So yeah, I got a puppy. 

[spike-fogg]

[Spike is stroking the puppy. He doesn’t hear them.]

[fisher-barrow]

Spike. Spike are you in there?

[spike-fogg]

Huh? What?

[He doesn’t look up. The puppy is licking his fingers.]

[fisher-barrow]

I see you’re friends with machine gun kelly border collie edition now. 

[The puppy immediately starts gnawing on him.]

[spike-fogg]

[He seems pretty much unfazed.]

Aw, no, that hurts. Don’t do that, lil’ baby. C’mon.

[fisher-barrow]

Sorry. She’s teething. 

[spike-fogg]

I would die for her.

[fisher-barrow]

If it comes to it you will.

[spike-fogg]

[He is still petting the puppy. It is still chewing his fingers. There is a Mohawk-Wearing, Bass-Playing Fully Grown Man crouching on Fisher’s doorstep, petting a puppy.]

[fisher-barrow]

... So do you want to hold her? 

[spike-fogg]

I can hold her?!

[fisher-barrow]

She’ll be too big to hold as an adult, so... 

[spike-fogg]

[Spike very gently picks up the puppy, sits down with his legs crossed, and puts it in his lap.]

[fisher-barrow]

[The puppy immediately snuggles in.] 

I think she likes you. Just a hunch.

[spike-fogg]

[Spike looks like he’s about to cry.]

Fisher. Fisher, I love this puppy. I would not hesitate to die for this puppy.

[fisher-barrow]

You said that about your cat, too. Starting to think you just like animals. 

[spike-fogg]

She’s so small, Fisher! Look! She’s so sweet-

[fisher-barrow]

Spike. 

I know. 

She’s my dog. 

[spike-fogg]

[Spike ignores them.]

She's the best dog. Who's a good puppy? Who's a good puppy?

[fisher-barrow]

Spike, dude, you can’t keep my dog. 

[The puppy nuzzles her head against Spike.] 

[spike-fogg]

[He doesn't answer. He's stroking the puppy with one hand; the other is covered in dog drool, and he's wiping it off on his shirt.]

[fisher-barrow]

Spike, give me the dog back. 

[spike-fogg]

Oh, come on- look at her, she's just got comfy!

[fisher-barrow]

Spike, dude, I’m sorry, but you can’t have my dog. 

[spike-fogg]

[Spike sighs.]

Yeah, yeah. She wouldn't get along with Val anyway, I bet.

Okay, C'mon, little baby. Back to Fisher.

[He lifts the puppy up and hands it back, very gently.]

[fisher-barrow]

Yeah, isn’t your boyfriend, like. THE animal hater? How does he get along with the cat? 

[Fisher promptly takes the puppy, holding her gently.] 

[spike-fogg]

I think it's mostly just dogs he doesn't like. It's, y'know, a whole thing.

[fisher-barrow]

I could terrorize him, but I’m gonna be nice instead. 

Anyways, you got plans anytime soon? I wanna do something stupid. 

[spike-fogg]

[Spike is scratching the puppy's ear.]

Nope. No plans. What do you have in mind?

[fisher-barrow]

Anything along the lines of “fuck around and find out.” 

[spike-fogg]

hey dude. got a puppy. her name is Machine Gun Kelly and her life is worth more than yours wanna come over and see her

- Fisher

I will be there in five minutes this better not be a fucking prank dude

[fisher-barrow]

why would i lie about this 

[spike-fogg]

Nevermind ten minutes my little rat sibling stole my motherfucking skateboard again

[fisher-barrow]

ah the perks of being an only child. anyways im sitting with her out front when you get here 

[spike-fogg]

[Spike appears in eight minutes, wearing a pair of battered-looking rollerskates.]

I’mhereFishershowmethepuppy

[fisher-barrow]

Don’t SCARE her, jeeze! 

[There’s a black and white border collie puppy sitting in Fisher’s lap.]

[spike-fogg]

Holy fuck! Puppy!

[Spike trips over trying to get the rollerskates off. He manages it as quickly as he can and hurries over to Fisher.]

[fisher-barrow]

Her life is worth objectively more than yours but if you’re gentle you can say hi. 

[spike-fogg]

[Spike sticks out the flat of his hand to the puppy comically slowly.]

Hi, puppy! Hi puppy! Hi!

[fisher-barrow]

[The puppy sniffs him, curiously.] 

[spike-fogg]

[He makes a weird noise like a deflating balloon and pats its head, very gently.]

[fisher-barrow]

So yeah, I got a puppy. 

[spike-fogg]

[Spike is stroking the puppy. He doesn’t hear them.]

[fisher-barrow]

Spike. Spike are you in there?

[spike-fogg]

Huh? What?

[He doesn’t look up. The puppy is licking his fingers.]

[fisher-barrow]

I see you’re friends with machine gun kelly border collie edition now. 

[The puppy immediately starts gnawing on him.]

[spike-fogg]

[He seems pretty much unfazed.]

Aw, no, that hurts. Don’t do that, lil’ baby. C’mon.

[fisher-barrow]

Sorry. She’s teething. 

[spike-fogg]

I would die for her.

[fisher-barrow]

If it comes to it you will.

[spike-fogg]

[He is still petting the puppy. It is still chewing his fingers. There is a Mohawk-Wearing, Bass-Playing Fully Grown Man crouching on Fisher’s doorstep, petting a puppy.]

[fisher-barrow]

... So do you want to hold her? 

[spike-fogg]

I can hold her?!

[fisher-barrow]

She’ll be too big to hold as an adult, so... 

[spike-fogg]

[Spike very gently picks up the puppy, sits down with his legs crossed, and puts it in his lap.]

[fisher-barrow]

[The puppy immediately snuggles in.] 

I think she likes you. Just a hunch.

[spike-fogg]

[Spike looks like he’s about to cry.]

Fisher. Fisher, I love this puppy. I would not hesitate to die for this puppy.

[fisher-barrow]

You said that about your cat, too. Starting to think you just like animals. 

[spike-fogg]

She’s so small, Fisher! Look! She’s so sweet-

[fisher-barrow]

Spike. 

I know. 

She’s my dog. 

[spike-fogg]

[Spike ignores them.]

She's the best dog. Who's a good puppy? Who's a good puppy?

[fisher-barrow]

Spike, dude, you can’t keep my dog. 

[The puppy nuzzles her head against Spike.] 

[spike-fogg]

[He doesn't answer. He's stroking the puppy with one hand; the other is covered in dog drool, and he's wiping it off on his shirt.]

[fisher-barrow]

Spike, give me the dog back. 

[spike-fogg]

Oh, come on- look at her, she's just got comfy!

[fisher-barrow]

Spike, dude, I’m sorry, but you can’t have my dog. 

[spike-fogg]

[Spike sighs.]

Yeah, yeah. She wouldn't get along with Val anyway, I bet.

Okay, C'mon, little baby. Back to Fisher.

[He lifts the puppy up and hands it back, very gently.]

[fisher-barrow]

Yeah, isn’t your boyfriend, like. THE animal hater? How does he get along with the cat? 

[Fisher promptly takes the puppy, holding her gently.] 

[spike-fogg]

I think it's mostly just dogs he doesn't like. It's, y'know, a whole thing.

[fisher-barrow]

I could terrorize him, but I’m gonna be nice instead. 

Anyways, you got plans anytime soon? I wanna do something stupid. 

[spike-fogg]

hey dude. got a puppy. her name is Machine Gun Kelly and her life is worth more than yours wanna come over and see her

- Fisher

I will be there in five minutes this better not be a fucking prank dude

[fisher-barrow]

why would i lie about this 

[spike-fogg]

Nevermind ten minutes my little rat sibling stole my motherfucking skateboard again

[fisher-barrow]

ah the perks of being an only child. anyways im sitting with her out front when you get here 

[spike-fogg]

[Spike appears in eight minutes, wearing a pair of battered-looking rollerskates.]

I’mhereFishershowmethepuppy

[fisher-barrow]

Don’t SCARE her, jeeze! 

[There’s a black and white border collie puppy sitting in Fisher’s lap.]

[spike-fogg]

Holy fuck! Puppy!

[Spike trips over trying to get the rollerskates off. He manages it as quickly as he can and hurries over to Fisher.]

[fisher-barrow]

Her life is worth objectively more than yours but if you’re gentle you can say hi. 

[spike-fogg]

[Spike sticks out the flat of his hand to the puppy comically slowly.]

Hi, puppy! Hi puppy! Hi!

[fisher-barrow]

[The puppy sniffs him, curiously.] 

[spike-fogg]

[He makes a weird noise like a deflating balloon and pats its head, very gently.]

[fisher-barrow]

So yeah, I got a puppy. 

[spike-fogg]

[Spike is stroking the puppy. He doesn’t hear them.]

[fisher-barrow]

Spike. Spike are you in there?

[spike-fogg]

Huh? What?

[He doesn’t look up. The puppy is licking his fingers.]

[fisher-barrow]

I see you’re friends with machine gun kelly border collie edition now. 

[The puppy immediately starts gnawing on him.]

[spike-fogg]

[He seems pretty much unfazed.]

Aw, no, that hurts. Don’t do that, lil’ baby. C’mon.

[fisher-barrow]

Sorry. She’s teething. 

[spike-fogg]

I would die for her.

[fisher-barrow]

If it comes to it you will.

[spike-fogg]

[He is still petting the puppy. It is still chewing his fingers. There is a Mohawk-Wearing, Bass-Playing Fully Grown Man crouching on Fisher’s doorstep, petting a puppy.]

[fisher-barrow]

... So do you want to hold her? 

[spike-fogg]

I can hold her?!

[fisher-barrow]

She’ll be too big to hold as an adult, so... 

[spike-fogg]

[Spike very gently picks up the puppy, sits down with his legs crossed, and puts it in his lap.]

[fisher-barrow]

[The puppy immediately snuggles in.] 

I think she likes you. Just a hunch.

[spike-fogg]

[Spike looks like he’s about to cry.]

Fisher. Fisher, I love this puppy. I would not hesitate to die for this puppy.

[fisher-barrow]

You said that about your cat, too. Starting to think you just like animals. 

[spike-fogg]

She’s so small, Fisher! Look! She’s so sweet-

[fisher-barrow]

Spike. 

I know. 

She’s my dog. 

[spike-fogg]

[Spike ignores them.]

She's the best dog. Who's a good puppy? Who's a good puppy?

[fisher-barrow]

Spike, dude, you can’t keep my dog. 

[The puppy nuzzles her head against Spike.] 

[spike-fogg]

[He doesn't answer. He's stroking the puppy with one hand; the other is covered in dog drool, and he's wiping it off on his shirt.]

[fisher-barrow]

Spike, give me the dog back. 

[spike-fogg]

Oh, come on- look at her, she's just got comfy!

[fisher-barrow]

Spike, dude, I’m sorry, but you can’t have my dog. 

[spike-fogg]

[Spike sighs.]

Yeah, yeah. She wouldn't get along with Val anyway, I bet.

Okay, C'mon, little baby. Back to Fisher.

[He lifts the puppy up and hands it back, very gently.]

[fisher-barrow]

Yeah, isn’t your boyfriend, like. THE animal hater? How does he get along with the cat? 

[Fisher promptly takes the puppy, holding her gently.]