In the pursuit of Happiness

[fiza19]

12 years, 2 kids, 1 house later........

Have you ever felt this urge to converse with the older and more mature you? I experienced the opposite of that a few days ago when we got on a road trip with the kids to Los Angeles.

To most people, Los Angeles is a fast-paced, crime-filled city where road rage and traffic turn the sanest people into maniacs. For me, LA was the beginning of a new phase in my life. A phase in which I learnt to live and cope by myself. 

With the kids, we revisited a lot of the places I hung out in my 20s. I had a funny feeling all this while that I would actually bump into the 23 year old me on those familiar streets. Unlikely as that is, still I would say to the "younger me" that 12 years, 2 kids, 1 house later........I want you to embrace your freedom, aim big and never settle for less!

Embrace your freedom

As much as you want to be a good girl, you wont be single for ever, so go have fun! Have guilt-free fun! Go make more friends, attend more social events, join book reading groups, hiking groups. Live your dreams because you might not get another chance! Embrace your freedom because you are finally free from your parents never-ending protection and fortunately there is no domineering boyfriend or husband yet who wants to run your life or kids who need your protection and attention.

Aim big

Let go of all your preconceived ideas of what women can and cannot do! Unlike India, this is the one place where you can become whatever you want to be if you have the guts, drive and resources. Don't just aim for good grades but find good mentors, especially successful and strong women who can help you realize your true passion and potential. Dream big dreams and work hard. 

Don't Settle........

You deserve a lot better in life so don't settle for less.

Don't settle for a B when you can get a A-.

Don't settle for a 50k job when you can get a 80k job.

Don't settle for Maggie @home when you can eat a cheap meal in Santa Monica.

Don't settle for a jeans when you can wear short shorts and skirts.

Don't settle for an ugly swimsuit when you can wear a bikini. Soon you wont have such a skinny body.

Don't settle for a smart ass guy, when you can get a simple guy who is not only smart but also compassionate and kind.

[fiza19]

Books I read this year and Why I love to read

I love to read. For years I have complained that I never had enough time to read books. And then something “magical” happened, I became a mom. It sent my time management skills into over drive and I set and followed a fixed schedule like a maniac. And very soon I discovered my favorite time of the day was right after the kids went to bed. This was my time, my time to read! 

Like a prison guard, I don’t let anything or anyone steal my reading time. Occasionally I host or go to dinner parties but I always feel a bit guilty the days I don’t get any reading done.

In the simplest form reading brings me Joy. Whether it be fiction or non fiction, every book offers me an opportunity to escape for a few moments to an unknown place and experience another person’s (real or make-believe) life. This is a very powerful phenomenon and often gives me a sense of freedom and control that I don’t feel in real life.

Reading cheered me up when I was feeling sad. Reading helped me experience freedom when I felt shackled. Reading filled me up with hope when I was lost. Reading humbled me when I felt mighty and arrogant. Reading taught me gratitude when I was too selfish. Reading made me wiser for I learned through others’ stories and experiences. Reading made me stronger when I felt weak.

Memoirs and auto-biographies are my favorite. Here’s a list of books I read this year:

My Beloved World by Sonia Sotomayor

Even silence has an end: My six years of captivity in the Colombian Jungle by Ingrid Betancourt

Unaccustomed Earth  by Jhumpa Lahiri

Oliver Kitteridge by Elizabeth Strout

Sophie’s Choice by William Styron

Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte

Lean In: Women, work and the will to Lead by Sheryl Sandberg

Long Walk to Freedom by Nelson Mendela

Delivering Happines: A Path to Profits, Passion and Purpose by Tony Hsieh

The Power Of Habit: Why we do what we do in Life and Business by Charles Duhigg

[fiza19]

Do's and Dont's when looking for a job

After spending 3 years as a Home maker I am slowly starting to look for a job. This blog idea was conceived after 3 weeks of job search and one interview loop. At the moment I like to think of myself as an "Experienced Job Seeker" :) Unlike the other titles I've held in my life may this title only last a short while.

On a side note, the other titles that I have given myself in the last three years while I was at home are "Self Employed Person", "Stay at home mommy", "Queen Bee", "Brain dead", "Unpaid labor", "Mommy-cum-Nanny-cum-Cleaner-Cum-Cook-Cum-Dishwasher". I am sure there are more that I cant seem to recollect or care to share.

Time Management

Do - Spend an hour everyday looking for a job on recruiting sites.

Don't - Spend majority of your day searching like crazy because the world hasn't yet started producing new jobs at that insane a rate. Don't forget you still have children to bathe, feed, hug, etc.

Networking

Do - Mention casually to friends that you are ready to go back to work. Networking always helps.

Don't - Spend entire play dates performing monologues on how you don't know whether you are good enough to go back to work. Honestly your play date friends are also frustrated moms like you. Should you really be adding to their misery? 

Soul searching

Do - Reflect on what your strengths and weaknesses are and what you love and hate doing. This process will help you understand what jobs to look for and which ones to avoid

Don't - Revive teenage dreams of becoming a film star, famous news reporter, wedding planner, flight attendant, Victoria's Secret model. Even if you are a size 0, your mommy-hood stretch marks are visible even from outer space. 

Resume

Do - Update your resume to accurately reflect your past work experience, accomplishments, education etc.

Don't - Update your resume and mention your expertise in diaper changing, watsapp messaging, facebook posting, window shopping, retail therapy. Who would your reference be for your diaper changing expertise? A nine month old baby who cant even talk let alone type?   

Have Fun

You know your idea of fun is watching other people post pictures about their fake-awesome lives. Do spend adequate time on Facebook, Twitter, Google+ and Instagram because some of us live vicariously through other peoples social ramblings. Wat up Kimye! 

Don't - Stop using Facebook. It is these meaningless activities that ultimately make our lives memorable. 

[fiza19]

[fiza19]

[fiza19]

Feeling nervous when meeting new people

As I was sitting at my usual Starbucks reading an unauthorized biography on Marrisa Meyers, two loud 20-something's chose to sit at the table next to me. Needless to say, I couldn't help but overhear their conversation. One of them was recounting her date with a Stanford alumni. She repeatedly mentioned feeling nervous about meeting his brother, about playing pool because she sucked at it, etc etc.

It made me wonder about feeling nervous when meeting new people. I am an extrovert with a healthy supply of self-confidence. And the only time I feel nervous in social settings is when I am talking to somebody I perceive as highly-opinionated and inflexible in their views. In these situations, my nervousness stems from the fact that something I casually mention might offend someone and I would have to deal with their wrath for a minute or two that it would take to run away! :-)

[fiza19]

Monotony collapses time; novelty unfolds it. You can exercise daily and eat healthily and live a long life, while experiencing a short one. If you spend your life sitting in a cubicle and passing papers, one day is bound to blend unmemorably into the next - and disappear. That's why it's so important to change routines regularly, and take vacations to exotic locales, and have as many new experiences as possible that can serve to anchor our memories.

Moon walking with Einstein by Joshua Foer

[fiza19]

Happiness

In pursuit of happiness I blog.......