NEVER MEET YOUR HEROES

𝐍𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐌𝐄𝐄𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐎𝐄𝐒

[flagcape]

#flagcape - an extremely private homelander writing blog, sideblog to @reconstructs. written by lou (25, he/him).

[lokibutterknife]

Karl Urban as William BUTCHER and Antony Starr as HOMELANDER in The Boys 3×06 "Herogasm"

[televisongifs]

HOMELANDER

1x06 the innocents

[qynzel]

my tattoos are shadows of what they once were, burned away by lasers, but i still have to cover their remnants in layer after layer of concealer every morning. vought wants harley quinn, but not too much of her ⸺ so they've dyed my hair dirty blonde, bought me enough bronzer to last the rest of my life, and removed every trace of red from my wardrobe except the red lipstick that i'm beginning to believe is mandatory.

but i get it. harley quinn hurt a lot of people, and even if harleen quinzel is sorry, there are always consequences. they can't run the risk of reminding anyone of my pigtailed, trigger-happy days. i can't say i mind, either ⸺ i never liked harley all that much. harleen was the one who was supposed to save the world.

oh, and did i mention that i'm sober now? i agreed to once a week drug testing when i signed my contract ⸺ they can't risk a loose canon, and it was about time i cleaned up my act. it's for the better, but goddamn, it makes it harder to deal with things like this.

things like this. @flagcape. a man who has every reason to hate me ⸺ a man who's seen firsthand the destruction i've caused. but so has bats, and he's forgiven me, so i'll hold out hope a little while longer.

❛ hey, ❜ i say, so timidly that i sound like a twenty-three year old psych resident all over again. ❛ i was hoping you had a second to talk? i know you're busy, but ⸺ ❜

but i'm pretty sure you hate me, and i can't rest until you don't.

[flagcape]

is it bad that he doesn't usually remember everyone he saves ?

it's like the amount of people he's killed ---- for the greater good, mind you, because it always is ---- everyone has a face but they're all the same. each and every one of them.

ashley had told him to stay the fuck out of gotham ---- in her own words, verbatim ---- but he'd jumped at the first opportunity that presented itself. it'd been a unilateral decision, one that'd gotten him into a load of shit that included meetings he'd entertained edgar by sitting in on.

homelander's honestly, really, trying to be on his best behavior ---- starlight and maeve had made it clear what would happen if he toed the line, but like a cat, he tests their limits, their boundaries. and they'd done nothing. they've still done nothing. it's satisfying in the same way a filling meal is, that their threats remain empty. that fucking blackmail has been hanging over his head for months now, and it's been months since he's seen his goddamn son, too. too many press conferences, too much damage control, along with the movie shoot. all work and no play makes jack a dull boy, after all, and that'd been why he'd chosen to land in gotham once one harley quinn fled from new york over the river into gotham's bounds.

he'd left her alive ---- if only because there were people watching them, and he'd lose even more points for killing a woman regardless of how much she may deserve it. not an act of mercy. as payback, he's sure of it, edgar hired her on as a consultant of some sort. such bullshit, even with all of the credentials she has.

still, though, he can't help the opportunity to smile, veneers pearly white, when she beckons for his attention, though his stomach twists in something that resembles hate. he stops in his tracks. it's been a long, long time since anyone has been starstruck by him, and he can't help the opportunity to peacock just a little.

" i'm never too busy, dr. quinzel, " he'd overheard her correcting one of ashley's stupid little subordinates earlier, a few floors down. but, hey ---- the homelander is a thoughtful guy, especially if harleen thinks he is. " you've got something on your mind ? "

[flagcape]

" i don't understand, "  homelander says, tugging at the flannel that befits him. it's coarse, uncomfortable ---- most people in the world would think the suit would be worse, but he doesn’t remember the last time he’d worn an article of human clothing. he’s become the homelander, through and through. and the name john ---- he loves maeve, or he thinks he does, but even hearing it from her mouth is foreign. jarring. a circle forcibly shoved inside a square slot. 

it doesn’t fit. 

but it’s important to her. and it’s important to do things that are important for the people that are important. and, apparently, what’s important to maeve is showing him the bumfuck potato farms she was raised around and the hicks who work on them.

he likes to think he’s a new yorker ---- it’s ironic, the homelander has no homeland, no hometown, but it’s fun because he gets to decide whatever he wants to be true and then it is, because no one can question him. 

those city roots run deep. he’s not used to this, the quiet and peace. the farm maeve had chosen for them to stop for coffee smells like sweet hay, and no one recognizes them. it makes his stomach turn. 

“ you miss living like this ? ” / @failedcrown

[flagcape]

simply thinking abt homelander having had his hair bleached since he was a literal toddler to manufacture the image of a blonde-haired blue-eyed american icon. i imagine his teeth are all veneers too, all fake, and are regularly whitened -- i feel like it aligns very well with the fact that while he is definitely toned, he's actually very lithe and wiry, and the homelander suit creates the image that he has an adonis-like physique when that image is entirely false.

everything about him is artificial, fake, and always has been.

[nikogonelubly]

supernova

[pikslasrce]

reinventing yourself as a violent act

destroyed by hippie powers, car seat headrest // @/angelcommunist // portrait of fryderyk in shifting light, richard siken

[withincellsinterlinked]

All that’s left is to decide how you die. Easy, or hard.

[krazyyy]

“I’m the Homelander…”