“Do you smell something burning?”
“I know that look. That’s your dreamy arsonist look. Whatever you’re thinking, don’t.”
“That is it! I’m taking the matches away.”
“Do you even know how to start a fire?”
“Are you sure you know how to start a fire?”
“Don’t touch that, it’s hot!”
“You can’t go around setting things on fire just because you feel like it.”
“See, this is why you aren’t allowed to have matches.”
“Please quit playing with the lighter. You’re making me nervous.”
“Did no one ever tell you not to leave a candle unattended?”
“Perhaps next time we can just use flameless candles instead.”
“Let it burn. Now we have the perfect excuse to move.”
“Did you really set your living room on fire just so you can meet hot firefighters?”
“I’m no expert, but I don’t think burning incense is supposed to be this destructive.”
“You look really peaceful sitting there, but I thought you should know there is an alarming amount of smoke coming out of your window.”
“If you had just put a new battery in the smoke alarm, this wouldn’t have happened.”
“No one wants to hang out with you because you’re a walking fire hazard.”
“This is why you don’t set off fireworks during a drought.”
“Quit whining. You wouldn’t have burned yourself if you had actually been paying attention.”
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