YOU WANT IT DARKER , WE KILLED THE FLAME ; private and selective blog for an original " monster hunter " character CÉSAR DEL CURA , heavily inspired by the exorcist (1973) , possession (1981) , longlegs (2024) , true detective , folk horror , leonard cohen's you want it darker and chuck palahniuk's fight club [...] this roleplay blog is 21+ and plot driven . poorly written by COFFEE .
a study in catholic guilt , loving fighting against one's self demons , spiritual possession vs physical possession , the body as the haunted house , unwilling deals with devils , faith vs science , temptation , the pursuit for salvation through extraordinary violence , vengeance over forgiveness , IT'S ONLY AFTER YOU'VE LOST EVERYTHING THAT YOU'RE FREE TO DO ANYTHING .
ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ¹ dossier ㅤ² pinterest ㅤ³ ch. study ㅤ⁴ usfw blog ㅤ
01. hey there, i’m coffee (she/her , 25+ , pt) and this is a rp blog for my original character césar del cura. this is a private blog meaning i will only be interacting with mutuals . i also plan to be selective with whom i follow as i am interested in developing and exploring dynamics between our characters . i am likely to follow blogs with universes/characters i can see “fitting” into césar’s own.
02. i will not be interacting with minors and wouldn’t advise anyone below the age of 21 to follow this blog. this blog will be dealing with triggering and possibly nsfw subjects such as religious trauma, psychosexual obsessions, drug use, manipulation, murder, possessions, body horror, etc. though i do my best to tag posts accordingly, i ask that you consider your own well-being above all else before choosing to follow.
03. roleplaying is something i do for fun. i’m not interested in drama nor do i take this hobby that seriously. if there are any issues, talk to me and i will do the same. that being said, there’s no room for hate or bigotry here.
04. i feel like i must also warn you that english is not my first language (but neither is spanish, i’m just a portuguese who’s fluent in portuñol). though i feel like i have a firm grasp on the english language i tend to steer away from purple prose. there’s absolutely nothing wrong if that’s what you like and/or do, but i genuinely have a hard time understanding what’s going on in some of these cases.
05. i’m a big yapper and could not do one-liners even if my life depended on it. usually i reply with multiple paragraphs. never feel pressured to match my length. quality over quantity is real. please, do whatever makes writing fun!
06. i love shipping, i love coming up with different character dynamics, i love pre-established relationships, if i see you're as excited about plotting this sorta thing as i am i will never shut up about it. i also do not mind smut at all but would rather keep more explicit content on a separate nsfw blog.
07. i'm currently working as a freelancer which means there's times where i can get a lot of writing done and other times where i just vanish from the face of the earth. hope we get to write horrible things together. stay hydrated xoxo
the muffled sounds of the busy bar scratched at the walls of the storage room. césar had gone back there to get another keg of beer (the ease with which he picked those kegs up was what had gotten him a one week's work, cash in hand, no questions asked) when he found the stranger. the guy stuck out like a sore thumb under the piss yellow light and the chaotic organisation system of the club which had been tastefully named "THE HOLE".
he had felt something there, while staring at the back of the blond's head. a shadow, heavy and thick, like black smoke straight from an exhaust pipe, brushing over his skin. suddenly, the stranger who remained faceless, felt awfully familiar. césar felt something tightening within his chest. the stillness of that body, the impeccable state of his clothes, the way the air felt different while he stood in that cramped out room ... if he shut his eyes and opened them again, would there be mold on the walls? would he be back in that room in badajoz, naked and alone and afraid? --- césar was careful not to approach him lest he disappear into thin air.
like he had disappeared when the cops came a'knockin'.
like twenty-five years of his life had disappeared.
like his family...
when the man turned to look at him, césar suddenly felt as if all the oxygen his lungs were owed was returned. though he thought he had felt something monstrous radiating from the other man's figure, césar quickly came to realise this was no demon: just a lost scrawny man who ought to know better than to wonder into restricted areas. his answer to his observation is light-hearted. are you a doctor? "no." is all césar answers. if that had been an attempt at humour, it hadn't stuck.
"you cannot smoke in here." he pointed out between the slow chews of his gum. césar was emptied of warmth that evening. instead, every short sentence spoken felt like it could easily be turned into a threat. once he realised there was nothing unholy about the man standing before him, césar gave a step forward and straightened his back, showing off his full size. they're about the same height. that doesn't stop césar from looking down on him. he was getting paid to secure the club; he'd be sure his employers got their money's worth.
his jaw clicked with each chew of his now flavourless gum. "i'm not your doctor." césar underlined. "just like you are not staff." his steady dark stare was relentless. "only staff are permitted inside this room." they hadn't blinked in a while. "so how do you want to do this?" the stillness of his broad shoulders and the tilt of césar's head suggested the stranger should be trying to read in-between the lines; should i walk or drag you out of this club?
❛ note . give my muse a note saying : meet me in the basement in ten :)
the music in the bar was too loud. it seemed to attract the wrong kind of crowd. the sort that would make it difficult for césar to shut down for the night. probably why the owner had been so willing to give him the job; left him to do all the dirty work on his own while he sneaked off to have himself a nice spa day. césar didn't mind. as long as he was getting paid. as long as it was enough to keep him going. he opened the storage room's door. as long as, as long as, as long as...
the song echoed through the darkness. though he ought to be facing a rather small room, césar thought he heard the sound from the bar travel great lengths...as if instead of kegs and mops there should be a long corridor waiting for him there. wet stone. arched ceilings. a cold breeze blowing through, brushing past him. he hesitated flipping the switch. santana's words extended into infinity ... she's not there.
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤshe's not there
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤshe's not there
césar flipped the switch. the pantry looked remarkably ordinary. but he carried a cold shiver with him back to the bar. he knew a premonition when he saw one. césar tried to focus on setting up the keg but felt his shoulders tense up --- suddenly all of the lowlives leaning over the counter looked unkind. creatures from the pit, looking to drag him down to hell once more. he scanned the mostly drunken truckers with unblinking dark eyes, certain that they were all conspiring against him. but then, as if she had always been there, a small blond woman. they locked eyes. she did not fit there. césar thought this but found himself having an awful lot of trouble trying to describe her features. all he knew was that SHE LOOKED AWFULLY STILL. césar blinked. the stranger had a piece of paper in her hand. she held her arm out to him. though everyone else at the bar was squished together, she appeared to have plenty of room to move.
a veil that separated her from the rest of humanity --- césar reached over to grab the note and, just like that, the woman backed away and disappeared amongst the truckers' elbows. the note had explicit instructions. césar wouldn't bother kicking everyone out before this important meeting, but his hands did close and open as he waited for the right time. tight fists flickering in and out of existence, aching with the possibility of violence. and when he walked down the steps which led to the bar's basement, he felt as if he were speaking some forgotten lyric from the cover which had bothered him so much minutes ago back into the darkness. " are you here ? "
over a year ago, i made this meme & since then, it’s blown up. so, over a year later — i thought i would make a new one. so here it is, after several requests & a pile of brains, THE PRE-ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP MEME 0.2
send me a ✿ and i’ll fill out the template below. bold for things i could definitely see or want, italics for things i could see or am unsure of and striked out for things i don’t want or cannot see.
FRIENDSHIP. childhood friends / work buddies or coworkers / family friends / friends with benefits / smoking buddies / adventure buddies / fake friends / recently friends / party buddies / friendship of need / dying friendship / circumstantial friendship / partners in crime / old friendship / [ your muse ] is the good influence / [ your muse ] is the bad influence / [ my muse ] is the good influence / [ my muse ] is the bad influence / opposites attract / ride or die / frenemies / roommates or flatmates / penpals / exes to friends / enemies to friends / other
ROMANCE. childhood sweethearts / [ your muse is mines ] childhood crush / [ my muse is yours ] childhood crush / exes / exes to lovers / forbidden lovers / highschool sweethearts / secret relationship / opposites attract / long distance / unrequited [ from your muses side ] / unrequited [ from my muses side ] / unrequited [ from both sides ] / skinny love / friends to lovers / enemies to lovers / spurious relationship / power couple / newly entered / soulmates [ metaphorical ] / soulmates [ literal ] / awkward / turning toxic / toxic love / cheating [ on your muse ] / cheating [ with your muse ] / other
FAMILIAL. siblings [ half ] / siblings [ step ] / [ my muse ] is an older sibling figure to your younger sibling figure / [ my muse ] is a younger sibling figure to your older sibling figure muse / [ my muse ] is a parental figure to yours / [ my muse ] is a child figure to your muse / guardian figure / legal guardian / adoptive child / foster child / [ your muse ] is taken under mines wing / [ my muse ] is taken under yours wing / other
ANTAGONISTIC. dangerous to each other / dangerous to others / unpredictable / rivals / petty / developing into sexual or romantic tension / based off family matters / based of off circumstance / based of professional matters / based off misunderstanding or lies / conflict of ideology / betrayal / hero - villain dynamic / enemies / fight club / friends turned enemies / lovers turned enemies / exes turned enemies / other
begonia : how cautious is your muse ? are they prone to noticing red flags , or paranoid to the point of untrusting most everyone ? why or why not ?
i'd say césar is overly cautious when it comes to his relationships. he is suspicious of everyone who approaches him. he has got a guilty until proven otherwise mentality which has kept him safe since leaving prison. being impulsive is what ultimately ruined his life and ended a bunch of others. it takes a lot for him to let his guard down and actually relax around people making him seem like a really tightly wound guy. but that's not to say he's not impulsive. the urge to go in swinging first and worry about exit strategies later is still there.
i'd say this is more obvious whenever he manages to get into more intimate setting with another person (which is also super rare since he has such a hard time letting his guard down especially when it comes to romance/sex) or whenever he's invited/permitted to do some heavy drinking. césar's biggest weakness since he was younger was denying himself pleasure. now he's older and wiser but the desire is still there, just outside his peripherals. he's keeping an eye on it.
hibiscus : how does your muse view the gentler , daintier things in life ?as things worth preserving & caring for , or things only bound to wither & disappear ?
he does not think they are meant for him but césar strongly believes in protecting all things gentle. despite his pessimistic attitude and downright hostile vibes, he looks back on his past as a more innocent and therefore, precious time of his life. it's not that the world has nothing good or worth fighting for in it, there's just a lot of shit to put up with as well. césar actively (though unknowingly) participated in perpetuating this evil.
his child, for example, is evidence of something worth protecting and caring for. but because césar committed such heinous crimes, he does not get to go through the joy of being a father, he is part of the evil which ruins the world. he is, however, extremely protective of kids and is ready to enact great gestures of violence towards those who are cruel to them. so, in short, he 100% believes gentle and dainty things should be protected and cared for...with the help of brass knuckles.
sinday headcanon absolutely no one asked about: no matter how gentle he tries to be, césar usually leaves his partners bruised up after sex. he grabs on too tight when he's really into it. he pulls and pushes and bites his partners. he's a bit rough. the type that'll toss others around if he feels like they're as excited as him. this is not to say he won't ease up if asked to but when césar is turned on he really dials up on the intensity and leaves reason at the door.
the smallest, most hostile, not on google maps, tobacco smelling roadside or hole in the wall bars. the cheaper the beer the better. also it's hard getting short-time, "cash-in-hand" jobs without paperwork or anything so...the shadier the better.
if your muse prefers fancier living, they might find césar working as a server, security, maybe as someone's driver, maybe he's parking cars, maybe he stands out like a fucking sore thumb while waiting out in the parking lot because he has to rough up someone who owes someone money...or slept with their wife or...he doesn't ask questions, ok? just know that he's always working.
motels. hostels. dusty inns. again, the cheaper and the more inconspicuous, the better. he also sometimes sleeps in his car depending on where he's at.
surprisingly, at church! he's a born again (?) catholic. and i think he feels the safest whenever he's sitting inside churches or chatting with priests and nuns and whatever.
he's nomadic at the moment and he gets small time jobs whenever he can. so really césar can adapt to almost any scenario! working as a mechanic, a server, barman, doing janitorial work, being the shady guy at the bar you pay a couple of hundreds to punch someone for you, driving people around, doing heavy lifting, doing security, he's even worked as a barber in the past so, you know, sky's the limit baby!
𝐋𝐎𝐔𝐃 & 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐅𝐄𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐒𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 (a series of nonverbal prompts . ‘ my ’ muse belongs to the one who posted the meme - send “ + REVERSE ” to reverse the prompts .)
→ 𝐈 . GENERAL
❛ hush . raise a finger in a gesture to silence my muse .
❛ sit . gesture for my muse to sit down .
❛ door . hold a door open for my muse .
❛ tap . tap my muse on the shoulder to garner their attention .
❛ hunger . give my muse something to eat / drink .
❛ cook . present my muse with home - cooked food .
❛ brush . work a brush / comb through my muse’s hair .
❛ read . silently read a book alongside my muse .
❛ hand . hold out a hand for my muse to take .
❛ dressed . help my muse put on an article of clothing .
❛ note . give my muse a note saying : [ content ] .
❛ amplify . turn up the music in the car .
→ 𝐈𝐈 . ANGST
❛ patch . help my muse patch up a wound .
❛ night terrors . hold my muse after they wake up from a nightmare .
❛ company . silently sit with my muse to comfort them.
❛ hospital . my muse is told that yours is in the hospital .
❛ revelation . show my muse evidence of a lie they told .
❛ indulge . find my muse drinking to cope .
❛ downfall . find my muse collapsed on the ground .
❛ console . comfort my muse as they cry .
❛ nurse . give my muse company in the hospital .
→ 𝐈𝐈𝐈 . AFFECTIONATE
❛ wink . wink at my muse .
❛ wrap . wrap an arm around my muse’s [ shoulders / waist ] .
❛ caress . gently caress my muse’s face .
❛ tousle . mess playfully with my muse’s hair .
❛ chest . place your head on my muse’s chest .
❛ comb . comb fingers through my muse’s hair .
❛ grasp . run to my muse & jump into their arms .
❛ lean . lean on my muse’s shoulder .
❛ tender . kiss my muse on the [ forehead / cheek / nose ] .
❛ abrupt . kiss my muse out of the blue .
❛ chaste . chastely kiss my muse .
❛ good morning . kiss my muse the morning after .
❛ volumes . gaze at my muse in a way that silently says ‘i love you’ .
→ 𝐈𝐕 . VIOLENT
❛ strike . [ slap / punch ] my muse in the face .
❛ gun . wield a gun at my muse .
❛ twist . twist my muse’s arm behind their back .
❛ throttle . aggressively wrap your hands around my muse’s throat .
❛ parch . burn my muse with a hot object .
❛ take down . forcefully bring my muse to the ground .
❛ gouge . wield a sharp object at my muse .
❛ shunt . shove my muse backwards .
❛ stickup . yell at my muse to put their hands in the air.
❛ shoot . [ fatally / non-fatally ] shoot my muse .
❛ stab . stab my muse with a [ knife / other object ].
