19, crying, the dilf stealer, not that busy, free to talk to anyone, available in any topic, i follow cool people with cool fics with cool art and a cool personality, deactivating next year
Being on Tumblr and writing, working, studying, socialising, focusing on moving out and getting a job, and balancing every part of my life is very hard for me
So i feel like deleting Tumblr will get rid of most of the problems, but i will miss every single friend i have made on this platform, and i wanted to thank all the people i have met, been friends with, and followed me thru it all, followed my writing career and everything else the biggest thank you, i am very very grateful for your presence, support, blessings and all the funny and stupid moments we've had together.
You all hold a special place in my heart and i will never forget it.
But Tumblr has kind of degraded my social skills and made me kind of lazy, even awkward.
I don't want to have other social media due to almost every single one of them making me insecure or degrade some part of my skill.
I have wanted to focus more on my in real life and get a better connection with my irl friends because even they said they feel like I'm just ignoring them and being on my phone too much. And getting a better connection with my family, especially with my parents, are the most important things for me.
And again, i thank everyone who has supported me, made me laugh, made me feel happy when i was sad, made me feel secure, made me feel confident, made me feel comfortable and everything
A big shout out to all my mutuals: @gunterdon @mx-kamisato @mocha-bunbun @cy-inky @ineshapanda @cxlrose @simplygaile @willowedwisteria @estensity @definesanity @dawndelion-winery @zhonglis-empty-wallet @nc-vb @my-white-canvas @lotterymology @lokisprettygirl @tulipsbymybed @pale-value @seyvrn-sands @thewindstale @kreideprinzessin @viparyas @besani
Being on Tumblr and writing, working, studying, socialising, focusing on moving out and getting a job, and balancing every part of my life is very hard for me
So i feel like deleting Tumblr will get rid of most of the problems, but i will miss every single friend i have made on this platform, and i wanted to thank all the people i have met, been friends with, and followed me thru it all, followed my writing career and everything else the biggest thank you, i am very very grateful for your presence, support, blessings and all the funny and stupid moments we've had together.
You all hold a special place in my heart and i will never forget it.
But Tumblr has kind of degraded my social skills and made me kind of lazy, even awkward.
I don't want to have other social media due to almost every single one of them making me insecure or degrade some part of my skill.
I have wanted to focus more on my in real life and get a better connection with my irl friends because even they said they feel like I'm just ignoring them and being on my phone too much. And getting a better connection with my family, especially with my parents, are the most important things for me.
And again, i thank everyone who has supported me, made me laugh, made me feel happy when i was sad, made me feel secure, made me feel confident, made me feel comfortable and everything
A big shout out to all my mutuals: @gunterdon @mx-kamisato @mocha-bunbun @cy-inky @ineshapanda @cxlrose @simplygaile @willowedwisteria @estensity @definesanity @dawndelion-winery @zhonglis-empty-wallet @nc-vb @my-white-canvas @lotterymology @lokisprettygirl @tulipsbymybed @pale-value @seyvrn-sands @thewindstale @kreideprinzessin @viparyas @besani
Ty for the tag! I'm starting a new thread to save my dash
Pickrew
There weren't as many jewelry options as I'd liked, esp since I wear all silver </3 I would have given myself a leather jacket bc I got one irl at last and I'm obsessed, but there was no good options for that either. But still!! Me!!
I'm tagging @the-gayest-sky-kid, @daz4i, @kr0issant, @nobodysvoice22 and @flipflapyoutwat . No pressure ofc!
Someone just asked me where i got the icon thing from
Yk this thing
I found it on Pinterest and yes it's free to use because it's not even mine to begin with 💀
The second one is inspired btw
But it's still free to use anywhere!!
And this thing is also not mine
But rather inspiration
The original was a typography thing, the background was black, it had a caption, and a wall of the same word repeating in vogue font and had an image in the middle (sorry but i can't find it :(
Under his influence (Post Avengers! Loki x female reader)
Read chapter 5 here // Series Masterlist
Chapter 6
Summary : The date with Chase ends horribly but Loki is there for you. He's your friend afterall.
Warning: mention of drinking, sweet loki is sweet, maybe he wants to be called pretty names and be cared for (maybe), midgardian men being an ass
"You are so cute aren't you?" He smiled at the compliment, he loved it whenever you complimented him, he probably would have found it demeaning if an Asgardian woman had said it to him but with you he didn't have to pretend to be someone he was not. Your tone wasn't condescending or filled with a sense of mockery, you just found him cute. Just cute.
"I am cute?" He giggled like a child high on sugary sweets, you were in the kitchen making something but he couldn't smell it, what was happening here? Oh!! He must be dreaming, because he knew you weren't attracted to him in that way. Right?
"Ohhh you are so cute.. adorable" you walked towards him and sat down on his lap which made him gulp, the proximity always made him want to do sinful things with you. Your fingers tucked his hair behind his ears and he felt every inch of his skin tingle. You leaned into him to kiss his cheeks one by one and then you kissed his forehead, the action immediately made him want to curl up to you again, maybe that's why he was having such an offensive dream. He wasn't sleeping in your arms tonight.
"Thank you" he mumbled softly and it made you smile, your thumb brushed over his lower lip which made him gasp a little.
"God you are pretty, you're a pretty pretty boy aren't you?" You whispered against his mouth but you weren't kissing him just yet and he really wanted to kiss you. He hasn't been able to stop thinking about it since last night. You looked down and there was a mischievous smirk on your face, he was getting hard because of all the touching and the praises. Definitely the praises.
"I apologize darling..I uhh--" before he could finish his words you pressed your index finger on his lips to shut him up.
"Shhhhh it's okay, i love that" his eyes widened at the statement, but then this was his dream after all. You wouldn't want him like that would you? He didn't think you felt the heat with him that you so badly craved, he was just a friend, no, not even that, he was just that man who had invaded your life and your personal space. You were probably just nice to him because you felt bad for him. The forehead kisses brought him back to focus on the dream, a part of him felt guilty thinking about you like this, you trusted him and gave him space in your room, you made him a part of your life and he didn't want to lose that.
"You like this?" You questioned as you pressed him against the back of the couch.
"I do" he could hardly whisper as your lips latched onto his neck, sucking and kissing every soft spot you could find.
"Such a good boy, I love you"
He woke up with his heart beating faster than ever, he had fought battles and been in wars but he had never been so out of breaths before.
For once he has awakened before you so at least you weren't up to see the disheveled state he was in at the moment. That and the raging erection he was sporting right now.
He averted his gaze to look at you, you were sleeping on your front with one of the arms right under the pillow, perhaps the reason why you didn't feel uncomfortable having his head on your arm all night, you were used to having yours. Your legs were folded in L shape and it made him smile. He laid down on the bed again to think about the filthy dream he just had about you, well he wasn't seeing Thanos and his men at least so that was a good change. Though he had no right to have such dreams about you, you were going to court some mortal that he knew would break your heart and hurt you.
Did you feel the heat with this Chase fella? You must, why else would you agree to date him if you didn't.
He couldn't sleep again so he got up and took a cold shower. He needed it. He knew he was starting to develop sexual feelings for you but the dream was something else entirely, did he actually want to be beneath you in bed?
He had hardly ever participated in such an affair before, he once attempted to be the submissive one in bed but backed out at the last moment because the lady he was woth seemed too harsh and he didn't feel comfortable enough to ask her to slow down or be gentle with him. In Asgard it was uncommon for men to behave in a subservient manner or excude gentleness so openly, it was frowned upon because it showed weakness.
As he opened the bathroom door he found you squirming with your legs crossed,
"Godd I was this close to peeing in my sink" you walked past him as you mumbled.
"Why didn't you just knock?" He questioned you
"I am not going to have a conversation with you while I'm literally trickling here okayy?" You shut the door on his face and he took a step back. Did he do something to upset you? You seemed furious, the snark in you had returned for some reason.
You didn't come out until you were all showered and dressed for work. How long was he in there for it to be morning already?
As you were doing your makeup you could feel his eyes on you. How dare he not come cuddle you last night? Okay you could have done it but he started it in the first place so he should have been the one to come to you after that silly argument or whatever that was, so what if you had a date? You both are just friends. Right?
"What are you looking at?" You asked him so he shrugged and went back to reading his book.
"I see you are getting yourself all prepared for your randevouz…with Chase. Quick question, why would anyone want to name their child Chase? " He asked you as he flipped the page of his book.
"The date is in the evening alright? I'm going to work"
"Are you okay darling? You seem a little…bent out of shape" you glared at him as he said that.
"What about you, what got your knickers in a twist?"
"My knickers are absolutely where they belong" he smiled and it annoyed you even further.
"You're so annoying, live with that" you snapped at him as you grabbed your bag and stepped out of the apartment, you noticed how his face went gloomy as soon as he heard that, he loved the bantering as long as it remained just that. He never wanted you to feel hurt by his words.
As he heard the door shutting with a thud, his eyes teared up, why was he so weak of heart? Should he just leave? Maybe he should, you probably were just done with him and needed your privacy. He decided to talk to you about it in the evening, the last thing he wanted was to lose whatever respect you had for him, perhaps he shouldn't have joked with you first thing in the morning, that Chase guy did get his knickers all twisted like you had said. He couldn't bear the thought of that buffoon putting his hands on you.
You were distracted throughout the day at work, Chase kept winking at you and it only made you want to hurl for some reason. You shouldn't have been so rude to Loki, he was just being playful like always or maybe just maybe he was jealous but that was wishful thinking right? He was a thousand years old and he must have been with plenty of women who must have been much better than you in every sense.
Chase told you that he'd pick you up around eight so you made your way back home. When you opened the door he was sitting on the sofa watching the tv, as soon as your eyes met he turned it off
"I want to apologize"
"I am sorry"
You both mumbled at once and it made you both smile, you sighed and walked towards him to sit next to him. You kept a foot of distance though.
"You're not annoying lo, I'm sorry.. I'm probably just pms'ing" He knew what that meant, you had told him all about it when you had your last menstrual cycle.
"I can be quite taxing sometimes darling.. it's not your fault" he smiled and it made your eyes tear up. You called him the one thing you had despised being called all your life and maybe he was used to feeling that way too and now the one person he considered a friend had told him that he was annoying, that must have hurt. It would have hurt you immensely if it was the other way round.
"You're not annoying, it's just me you know, that's how I am, I can't keep good people in my life, I do something or say something that I absolutely don't mean the majority of the time. It drives them away but I don't want to drive you away lo" his heart fluttered as you said that. Perhaps you didn't find him annoying afterall and he hoped you still wanted him to be here.
"You could never drive me away darling " he whispered softly so you chuckled
"If I had a dollar for everytime I have been told that then I'd be fucking rich right now" you mumbled as you got up. Maybe you needed to get a grip on your emotions today. "Did you clean up around here again?" You asked him as you looked around your space
"Yes, I just wanted to do something nice before I –" he stood up as well.
"Before you what?" You crossed your arm so he rubbed the back of his neck in nervousness.
"I just thought you were feeling troubled by my presence so–"
"So you were going to leave?"
"I just–"
"Where would you go Anyways huhhh? Are you trying to get yourself caught by those Avengers?"
"No I just–"
"Don't leave …pleaseee" your lips trembled as you raised your voice a little so he walked closer to you and hugged you, as soon as you felt his calming embrace you couldn't help but sob. You didn't want him to leave you, you didn't want to lose him too.
"I won't, I'm sorry my darling, I'm sorry " he cupped your cheeks to make you look at him and his thumbs wiped your tears, he leaned down to kiss your forehead and it made you want to cuddle him instantly. And kiss him. And fuck him into oblivion. Unfortunately you had a stupid date to attend. Maybe this date was the reason everything has been awkward between you two because it definitely felt fine before you mentioned it.
He kept looking at you and his eyes were moist too, you just hoped he wanted to stay here with you as much as you wanted him to stay.
"Are you still upset?" You asked him so he shook his head once.
"I never was, i thought you were"
"No I'm just…hormonal " you muttered the last word under your breath
"I will be mindful of that from now on"
You chuckled as he said that. He let go of your face so you stepped away too. He didn't say anything after that and neither did you. You wanted to be done with this date once and for all so you could come back here and you definitely wanted to sleep with him snuggling in your arms tonight. God only if he knew how obsessed you were with him.
"You look beautiful" He mumbled softly after you were done getting ready so you gave him a smile.
"I'll be back soon"
"Have a good time" But not too good.
"Thank you, you be here when I'm back okay?"
He smiled as you said that, you heard the door buzzing but instead of bringing him up you decided to go downstairs instead. Chase wasn't a bad guy per say, he was tall, handsome and nice to you, well atleast for now but you were definitely comparing him to Loki and Loki was a god, he was extra terrestrial and he was way out of your league but that wasn't going to stop you from dreaming about him. Maybe your standards were a tad too high for your own good.
"So Lyla told me you were like a lesbian or something so I was really surprised when you said yes" you scoffed as he said that, even the way he was just eating was ungodly and not at all elegant, everything Loki did was so regal and other men seemed like pests as compared to him, you definitely felt like a horrible person..
"Trust me I'm not lesbian but sometimes I really wish that I was" you answered him and he didn't get you at all. Loki would, he'd atleast smile and look Adorable as fuck even if your words had gotten over his head.
You couldn't wait to get out of the restaurant so you finished your dinner quickly and chugged the wine all at once, you were definitely skipping dessert.
He dropped you home and you told him that you didn't see yourself falling for him, he was upset for sure but at least you weren't stringing him along so that made you feel less guilty. Chase told you that he was thirsty and wanted to get some water so you took him upstairs unwillingly, you just hoped that Loki would hear you talking to him and disappear. As you stepped inside you didn't find him anywhere, you couldn't help wondering where he was though, Was he sitting on the couch or the bed?
"Here.." you passed Chase a glass of water so he sat down on the couch.
Loki glared at him because he was sitting right next to him, the smug look on his face didn't go unnoticed by him. He didn't have a good feeling about this guy and it wasn't even his jealousy this time.
"Look i know you don't want to date me or whatever but maybe we should just fuck and get it over with ya know?" Chase smirked and your face contorted in disgust.
"I think you need to go"
"I think you need to be a babydoll and sit on my lap"
"Okay get out now asshole" you told him as you walked towards the door and opened it, you were starting to feel really creeped out now. So he actually wasn't a nice guy huh? Surprise surprise.
"You're such a bitch" Chase said as he stood up and walked out of your apartment, you closed the door immediately. When you turned around you found Loki staring at you from the couch.
"So I'm assuming you didn't get to feel the scorching heat with him did ya?" He mimicked Chase's accent and it made you chuckle. He was enraged by the way that inferior man had just treated you with such disrespect but he wasn't going to make a big deal out of it, he knew you were fairly capable of dealing with such men in life.
"Heat? Forget heat, It was a glacier" he chuckled as you said that. Norns if he wasn't delighted that you weren't into that toe shaped male any longer.
"Are you alright darling?" He questioned as he walked towards you, your feet were glued on the spot in front of the door as he continued to get closer to you.
"Yeah ..men like him don't scare me" you mumbled as you took a step back and your back hit the door,
"What kind of men scare you then? Do I scare you?" Your breath hitched as he placed his arms on the side of your waist, his wrist twisted in order to lock the door which you had forgotten to do earlier.
"You're a god, but you don't scare me.. because I know you would never hurt me" you looked up at him and he opened his mouth to say something but the words died in his throat because he couldn't stop staring at those luscious lips of yours. Although he knew he had to say something before the moment would pass by him and he'd lose you to some another Chase.
"I would never want to hurt you" he mumbled softly.
"Why? Is it because you care about me? Because I'm your friend?"
"That is absolutely true" you bit on your lower lip as he said that.
"Okayy" you placed your hands on his veiny forearms in an attempt to push him away from the door so you could get away but he didn't budge at all. You looked up at him again and he leaned down to kiss your forehead but like all those times before he didn't stop there this time, he pressed a small peck on your nose as well
"Lo.." you whispered his name and your fingers curled around his neck. As you got on your tiptoes his one arm wrapped around your waist while he used the other one to tuck your hair away from your face. You placed a small kiss on his chin first and then none of you could stop yourself from crossing that line, at that moment you didn't care about anything else. As soon as your lips met with his you felt it all, everything you had ever wished for in life, it was right there in that little kiss. At that moment you just knew nothing would ever compare to the feeling of being able to kiss him like this. His lips moved against yours in perfect sync, he tasted divine, so sweet just the way his whole existence has been.
He pressed your body against the door as he pulled away for a moment to look at you.
"Heat?" His brows furrowed as he questioned you.
"It's melting lava out here lo" you cupped his cheeks and kissed him again, he was overjoyed that you wanted to kiss him as much as he wanted it, he really enjoyed doing it and he knew he'd be addicted to this feeling of you. All his life he had felt as empty as you did, he never could have imagined that he'd ever find someone to fill that hole in his heart. He wanted to tell you how intensely he felt about you but he didn't want to scare you just yet, he wanted to hold onto you for as long as you'd have him.
You only unlatched from him when the desperate need to breathe kicked into your system, it was a weird feeling to actually find the man you had dreamt of all your life but it was too soon for you to tell him that, you didn't want to scare him away, a part of you knew someday he'd get bored or would get annoyed by the little things you do that he must find really adorable right now, you knew someday he'd lose his interest in you but in that moment you just wanted to be the one he wanted to be with for as long as he did.
"Ummm i… " He stepped away a little as you mumbled "Loki..I still want to be your friend..I love being your friend" he noticed how you were fiddling with your fingers as you spoke to him. Your friendship with him wasn't something he wanted to lose either. That bond he shared with you was pure and precious and he always wanted to keep you close to his heart in every possible way.
"I love being your friend" you smiled as he said that.
"Okay..ummm so..we can be friends who kiss sometimes and they cuddle"
"And friends who don't see other people"
"Yes ..that…absolutely that…I was going to mention that..it goes both ways right?" you chuckled nervously as you asked him that.
"Absolutely Princess" The pet name would be the death of you.
"Okay cool.. nice doing friendship with you mister Loki" you brought your hand forward so he grabbed it and placed a small kiss on the back of your hand.
"Anything else Madame?" He smirked
"Noppeeee…buddy" you slapped his chest playfully before you walked away from him. Okay!!!! You desperately needed a moment alone to process what had just happened. You also needed to change your panties.
"I'll go shower" you told him but he kept giving you that killer smile that made you want to run up to him and kiss him again. You closed the bathroom door and sighed deeply, your breathing felt erratic, there was a tingling sensation in your nether region that didn't seem to go away. You just wanted him to touch you everywhere and in every way. Is this what it felt like to actually be into a man you would get to have sex with someday? God this feeling was awesome.
As you stepped out he was already in that tiny bed of yours, the lights were out already so you walked towards the closet and put a lotion on, you also noticed the lack of the princely bed. That was an invitation right? He wanted you to get into that tiny bed right? Of Course he did, you two just kissed and it was the hottest thing ever. Atleast for you.
You walked towards him slowly and he scooted a little to make space for you, you both got into the usual position in just a few seconds, his head was snuggled between your breasts, your leg was curling on his waist and he had his arm around your waist, you sneaked your hand under his head and he purred like a kitten in response.
"God you're so cute" you giggled and his eyes widened, that's exactly how it felt in his dream this morning. Dreams do come true sometimes.
"Am I?"
"Absolutely..you're adorable" I love you. You wanted to scream but it was too soon to show him your crazy side.
"I love the way you hold me princess, I have never been held like this before" he murmured against your chest so you placed a soft kiss on his head.
"Well better get used to it"
He pulled his head away to look at you, even in the faint moonlight you could tell that his eyes were teary and they made you feel sad too,
"What's wrong?" You asked him softly but instead of answering he just went back to finding comfort in your embrace. He was so soft, he was the softest thing you had never known and even though you knew he was a powerful magical being in all regards, deep down he just wanted to be held and adored, he wanted to be cared for, he held a softness you had never witnessed in men around you, maybe that's what attracted you to him in the first place.
Life wouldn't stay the same forever you knew that very well, at the end of the day he was still an escaped fugitive and you feared the day they'd find him here and take him away from you.
What would happen to him? What would they do to your lo? The thought really bothered you. The fear made your heart clench so you tightened your grip around him and hoped that this night would last forever, even though you knew it wasn't possible.
💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚
Tag list (if you want to be tagged or removed let me know.. also I’m not able to tag some of you, please check your settings)
She really says things she doesn't mean at all when she's upset, there's obviously a build of recurring abandonment issues that she has compartmentalised.
Baby loki should never be called annoying though, he's anything but annoying :(
