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@fleetingdesires-ao3
🚚 I have moved! 🏡
Find me yelling into the void (eventually) over at fleetingdesires.tumblr.com.
Because Tumblr is a hellsite that will not let me reply to things as a secondary blog. I cannot believe I am doing this in 2022.
— Ilya Kaminsky, Deaf Republic
my life ambition: to be a ghibli cat | The Secret World of Arrietty (2010)
The Invitation of Asmodeus into Exandria (cir. 189 Pre Divergence)
Huge thank you to everyone who made EXU Calamity for making me feral enough to do this, and huge thank you also to @saturdaysky for teaching me things about colors so that this could turn out the way it did.
Closeups under the cut!
Keep reading
[Image description]: A screenshot from Exandria Unlimited: Calamity Wrap Up. It’s a photo of Brennan Lee Mulligan sitting on a purple couch saying “Comedy completes the realization that drama begins”.
Look, like halfway through I mentioned in the tags of a post that there was so much love and devotion that these characters had . That it mattered but it wasn’t going to be enough.
And it wasn’t. Not fully. The city was still destroyed, the calamity still started, and Domunas still became the shattered teeth.
But it ended up mattering so much more than I thought it would. More people stayed loyal to the ring of brass than betrayed it. The ring of brass stayed loyal to each other and that saved so many people from the cities and kept the ring of gold from only taking care of themselves. And it mattered. In those three rounds, that love and loyalty and devotion mattered. It mattered in how they protected Laerryn and how they fought for one another and how they died for one another. It’s what got Cerrit back to his family when all he thought he’d get was a look out the window.
It mattered. The story mattered. The love and care and loyalty mattered. Yes there was a lot of hubris and selfishness at times. Yes there were moments where the very being of these characters put them on a collision path straight towards the biggest brightest red “calamity start” button but they were able to shift it *just* enough to give Exandria a chance to fight again another day. And they were able to do that because of how much they stuck together and their friendship and their love for the people of a city that was full of dreamers. Dreamers and their new dreams that would grow from the rubble of defeated primordials and a seemingly permanent ash cloud. Dreamers who would wield newly created Vestiges of Divergence and fight alongside *gods*.
In two centuries these dreamers would be left in a ruin of a world where gods were now locked behind a divine gate, magic had changed forever, and records of the past two centuries would no longer exist. Only Vasselheim would truly be left standing and the druids of the Gau Drashari wouldn’t even fully remember their history. But there would still be hope and loyalty and dreamers. Because the ring of brass started fighting back while they had precious few hours and because others continued that fight when they no longer could, Exandria was able to continue and all was not lost.
writing the first draft: this is torture, every word is like needles in the tips of my fingers, these hideous sentences taunt me, i am a fraud, i have never been coherent in my life, i should never have learned to read
writing the second draft: i am the michelangelo of words and this is my david, the words flow from me like clear water from a mountain spring, i am kissing my muse with tongue
This is so funny cuz for me it's the exact opposite
The sending stone died before Cerrit made it out. And Cerrit is a full-classed rogue. No Sending, no spells at all. With nothing but destroyed continent beneath him, he’d have no way to contact anyone.
His family had *no idea* he made it out. They very probably assumed he didn’t.
When the entire continent of Dunemas went dark, when the news started to filter back of its destruction, when the scant survivors started trying to reach their families…there was no reason to believe that Cerrit had escaped.
Survivors and their stories emerge—but they’re civilians, mostly. Regular people who escaped on ships, through teleport, through trees.
The ones from Avalir and Cathmoíra have one particular story to tell: at the end, the Herald told them that the ring of gold, the magisters, the leaders of the city would go down with the ship. That no space on what lifeboats they had would be taken from Avalir’s people.
So that’s the answer: Cerrit, too, would have gone down with the ship.
His wife probably had a difficult conversation with their children. Told them about sacrifice, told them sometimes we lose people but they will always love us just the same, told them that their dad sent them away from the city because he loved them more than anything in the world and then spent every last moment he could trying to save as many more people as he could because he was a good man, because he cared so deeply, because he found problems and fixed them. These conversations probably happened amidst panic and chaos, as news of the attack of Vasselheim spread, as the gods descended and magic raged out of control across Exandria, as the Betrayer gods wrought as much destruction as they could cause.
Were they still at home, when Cerrit finally found them? Did their home still exist after all those weeks he took flying across the ocean? Did they need to flee somewhere safer? Did Kir scrawl a note somewhere the wreckage — “Wingspan: gone north-by-northeast. Look for trail markers on the trees” because he’d promised, mom, he promised, and what if he’s coming but he can’t find us because we’re not here? Did Cerrit have to bring every ounce of his investigation and tracking skills — with no magic, no Avalir, no Patia to let him look back at memories, no Quay to inspire him, no Nydas to fund or enchant any helpful items, no partner to compare notes with, nothing but his sharp eyes and his brain and utter fucking determination — to follow after his family, weeks on an already weeks-long journey, slow and messy and fearing every day he might be too late?
Did he show up almost unrecognizable, head to toe in soot and dirt, some new scar from his near brushes with death, some fresh wounds still bound in bandages for want of anyone with healing spell slots? Did he find his family weary, grieving, scared, but whole and—for the moment—safe? Did they even believe it was him at first? Did they fear he was a ghost, or worse, some horror dragged from the wreckage of Avalir and reanimated by an enraged Asmodeus? Did he take off a bandage to show he still bleeds, and bleeds red, did he kiss his children’s heads and call Kir “Talon”, and see Maya clutching the sphere as if she hasn’t let go of it since it landed in her hands, and tell her—voice breaking at the reminder of Patia, at the first thing he has seen in months besides himself that survived Avalir’s destruction—that he is so, so proud of her, and more importantly he loves her so, so much, and then they knew, then they were sure: Cerrit kept his promise.
truly calamitous behavour
it's so weird seeing sexual zerxus/asmodeus stuff now that we know zerxus saw him as his son. like, even if he also saw him in a sexual way at points, if he saw him as his son at the same time, that's gross
Sorry for taking a while to get to this - I missed the notif!
If you scroll back a little bit on my tumblr, you’ll also see that it’s not so simple - he definitely had some confusing feelings about Asmodeus. Plus, I don’t think it’s that Zerxus saw him as his son, or even as a child, but more that Asmodeus has a childish mentality in how he was choosing to deal with his problems. And so from that angle - ‘yes I know how to dad this person into the right course’, but also ‘shit he’s actually kinda hot???’
I like that tension lol. And i think Zerxus figuring it out can lead to some interesting places.
— Franz Kafka, Letters to Milena
[text ID: Yesterday I advised you not to write me every day, I still hold the same opinion today and it would be very good for both of us, and so I repeat my advice today even more emphatically- only please, Milena, don't listen to me, and write me every day anyway, it can even be very brief, briefer than today's letters, just 2 lines, just one, just one word, but if I had to go without them I would suffer terribly.]
I think Zerxus being atheist is integral to the decisions he’s making right now.
People are giving him so much crap for trusting a god of lies and deceit “because he looks like his husband.” Everyone’s very quick to point to the lore about Asmodeous and why this is such an obviously bad choice, but they’re completely forgetting
Zerxus doesn’t believe in the lore
It’s not that he’s stupid or willing to trust a pretty face, it’s that none of the lore matters to him because he doesn’t believe in it in the first place. Why should he trust what the other gods have to say about this guy when he doesn’t think any of them are worthy of worship? How are they any different than enemy kings spewing venom about each others’ misdeeds?
Zerxus is aware this isn’t a normal person, of course. That’s why he makes a point of trying to ingratiate himself and humanity. But he doesn’t look at this devil man and see a god. He sees a person who is suffering.
“Remember Cerrit, the Eyes of Avalir, and his bravery.
Remember Nydas, the Dragon, and his sense.
Remember Patia Por'co, Keeper of Scrolls, and all the wisdom she brought.
Remember brave Zerxus and Evandrin, the First Knights of Avalir.
And remember the Architect Arcane, Laerryn, the most beautiful woman in the world…
I'm Loquatius Seelie saying: Seelie you later.”
Final part of my Calamity series! I couldn’t resist making a stained glass version of Loquatius’s final broadcast.
OBSESSED
i’m here to have a good time, not a canon-compliant time.
Snape sitting at the teachers’ table in the Great Hall on a Saturday morning, reading through some essays in between one sip of coffee and another and thinking how the students seem to get dumber and dumber with every passing year
With a special dedication to my dear @sevsnapes in case she needed further converting :D