When the water beyond the reef bends against the light to make a horizontal ripple, it looks a lot like Aoânungâs brow. All the tension of a pulled arrow, but suspended in time and space. Leaving you to wonder when it might release.
âYouâre going to pop a vessel.â You say bluntly, poking a finger into his tight forehead.
For a moment, his eyes soften from their perpetual narrow. But his lips stay tightly pinned in a thin line. Hands stay fixed on the bandage wrap he intends to wrap around your knee, dried blood staining the lithe fingers.
Against the cracking of high tide, there is only the sound of his breathing, drawing out as a painful metronome. His large chest takes a long time to expand.
âTsahĂŹkâs son is dressing my wound.â You hum with a stupid grin. âI must be special.â
If he agrees, he certainly does not say so. Instead, his fingers gently brush away a family of urchin spines and slather a clump of light green paste over the patch of your skin where they, not so long ago, called home. When you jump at the coolness, his other hand comes down on your uninjured knee as a warm, makeshift anchor.
âWhat, so itâs my fault the reef wants my blood?â
Now, you are pushing. Coaxing. Like you want him to scold you. Like a ticklish kiss to his elbow with the hope that the arrow snaps forward. In a better mood, he would say that the reef had done nothing. You never heed his warnings. You always step forward without looking where your feet land.
With his thick lashes fluttering in every slow blink, Aoânung wraps the affliction in bandage. With a surge of brilliance, you part your lips in a particularly pained âoâ and feign an aggrieved moan. âOw!â
His eyes, for the first time since his arrival, practically leap from their sockets as he looks up from his spot between your legs to meet your gaze. Heâs about to apologize for his roughness in what would have been an amusing gesture considering his feather-light touch, when he notices the glimmer of mischief in your eyes.
âGot you.â You sing, but the brief acknowledgement quickly dissipates into an eye-roll. Still holding your leg, his fingers go back to their tinkering, and this time, you pout.
âYouâre mad at me.â
It is so earnest, Aoânung feels his chest pull from the inside. Slowly, he finishes his wrapping. âI am not mad at you.â
Ao'nung has learned, more often than not, that the quirk in your brow is response enough. In this case, it is quite clear â really?
He pauses. âYou give me a headache.â
Not the right explanation, but he says it anyways. It was not so much matter of head as it was matter of heart. You made his heart ache.
And if that wasnât agonizing enough, his hands were still stained with your blood. His body suddenly comes up until his chest brushes yours and those same red hands caress your face.
âI thought you needed a brain for that.â You whisper, hot air circulating the echo-chamber between you. He scowls for half a heartbeat, then sends himself forward like an arrow, chasing your lips in warm, sloppy kisses. They make his throaty âShut. Up.â sound sweet. Â
Before he pulls apart, Aoânung presses a few more kisses to your lips for good measure - and if you squint your eyes hard enough, there is a touch of a smile playing at his mouth. Content to see you so speechless. He turns his back to you and kneels down. The unspoken is fast understood.
âIâm only doing this because of your leg.â That was Ao'nung. Always a disclaimer before his better deeds.
Happily, you slot your legs into the space between his arms and torso, and wrap your arms tightly around his neck. Together, you lift into the air. Warm and smiley against his muscular back.
âI think you just want to hold me.â
Like the tide retreats into the deep sea, Aoânung drops his hands so they are no longer supporting your thighs, your dead-weight dragging behind him. âKeep thinking.â He mumbles.
Water is fickle, you muse, before bringing your body back onto his and hugging tightly. You nuzzle your face into the crook of his neck, pressing gentle kisses that make him shiver. âIâm sorry, I love you.â Like an arrow whizzing past his ears.
âNuisance.â
âAnd?â
âAnd I love you.â
Away from your prying gaze, Aoânung smiles until his cheeks hurt. The arrow hits the target, but the tip is blunt.
to all my lovely moots and with special mentions to my lovely valentines: @fleursbending @netesbby @fluloa @star-girl69 @tonni30 @neteyamlover69 sorry if i forgot anyone im like super bad w names fr
*ŕŠâŠ đđŽđđĄđ¨đŤđŹ đ§đ¨đđ: i love writing 5 things fics <33 also !! definitely going to make a pt 2 to this. i was going to just smush it all together, but this had already gotten much longer than anticipated. enjoy!!
the first time you see him, you feared itâd be your last.
all of your people were in a frenzy. word traveled quickly to the healers, word of the hunting party being attacked by a pack of starved viperwolves. at first, they were only there for the slaughtered sturmbeest-- an easy meal. then, once quickly realizing how vastly they outnumbered the men, they attacked.
âmaite,â your mother calls out for you, her eyes crowded with affliction. sheâs just entered your tent, along a boy in her arms. âi need you to take care of him.âÂ
you carefully inspect him at a distance, watching as your mother sets him down on your mat. the body of the limp boy, close to your age, having a torrent of small cuts and bruises on his arms--
his head lolls to the side; you recognize him immediately.
your eyes shift across neteyams body. you can feel your eyes widen. âmotherâŚi--â
âan elder has already done most of the work, you would just need to seal the wound.â youâre walking over to her, inspecting the laceration on his oblique. to your surprise, the bleeding has almost completely ceased, and you can see the glisten of a translucent balm encompassing it.
you look over to your mother, a newfound sense of urgency in her eyes.
âyour father was wounded.â
you can feel your heart quicken in pace.
âand I need you to help neteyam,â she holds your face in your hands, tenderly brushing her thumb over the apple of your cheek. âso I can help him.â
your eyes are transfixed on the slow rise and fall of neteyams chest. you barely manage to nod, and all you can register is a soft kiss on your forehead before youâre left with the unconscious son of your clan's leader.
in a heartbeat, youâve brought the materials youâd need over to him. with one hand, you apply a sap-based paste along the edges of his wound; with the other, you hold the two sides together, hoping the glue will be enough to help seal up the wound.
and, much to your relief, it did.
youâre liberal with the second layer, quickly following it with flexible silk leaves to both protect the laceration, and moderate the swelling in the coming days.Â
and once youâve finally cleaned your hands of the different balms and salves they were covered in, you gently put your head to his chest.
âplease,â you beg silently. âi need to know that he is still alive.â
a moment passes. and then another--
there it is,
a heartbeat.
you let out the air in your chest. relief is flooding your veins, and you can feel yourself breathing again.Â
you look up to him, examining his face. you note the light bruising on his cheekbone, the dried blood on his temple, the light scratches all over his neck and shoulders--
you can only pray he doesnât wake up in pain.
the second time you see him, he walks in by himself.
the bruising on his face and torso is all but gone, but you can tell in the way he favors his right leg that the skin on his side is still healing.Â
âneteyam,â you greet him formally, watching as he mirrors the way you slowly bow your head, quietly whispering your name in return.
âhow are you?â you ask, inviting him to sit down as you inspect his healing wounds.
âbetter,â he rasps, hissing as you peel away the silk leaves. and, to your satisfaction, he looks much better. the concoction of yours and the sky people's medicine had done wonders to his healing wound. already in just a month, the two sides were nearly connecting into a jagged gash.Â
and with the way it was gracefully scabbing around the edges, you should assume a full recovery in the next few weeks.
âit looks better.â you say at last, noting the way he lets out a sigh of relief. you reach to your side to bring back that sappy paste, gently running it down his side.
you canât ignore the way he stiffens when your hand touches him,
and you canât ignore the satisfaction you feel from it.
âyou shouldnât be doing anything extraneous until it is fully healed,â you say, distracting yourself from how fast your heart is beating. âif you do, there is a risk of it splitting open, which would make it bleed again.â
âi got it.â he says weakly, and you discern the way heâs placed his arm above his head as to not get in your way.
you smile at that.
youâre finally layering on the new silkleaves when he speaks up.
âhow long will it be until i am fully healed?â neteyam asks, watching intently as your hands work against his body.
âmaybe two weeks,â you say passively, smoothing your fingers over the edges of the leaf. âbut i am sure your mother will be able to take care of you.â
your ears suddenly perk up.
why was he seeing you about all of this? his grandmother was the peoples tsahĂŹk, his mother a skilled healer--
why was he here?
why would he be seeing you?Â
âokay,â neteyam breaks the abrupt silence, lowering his arm and bringing himself to his feet. âthank you. for everything.â his hand is hovering on his side as he exits your tent, leaving you with a clouded mind, and far too many questions.
because why would he, of all people, be seeing you?
the third time you see him, itâs unexpected.Â
youâre learning so much during your time with moâat, a spot your mother was able to secure due to her relationship to her. in that time, youâd gotten closer to the sullys, especially their eldest daughter.
kiri is kind, despite her prickly outer shell. itâs incredible to be able to learn alongside someone, and watch as both of you grow into stronger healers.
but now, it was just you and moâat, with kiri being somewhere deep in the forest with her younger siblings, and that human boy that they couldnât quite shake.
and sheâs teaching you the rich benefits of a slinths venom when you hear the flap of the tent flutter behind you.
itâs neteyam, and heâs looking better than ever.
there are no more silk leaves on his side, the only proof of him ever having a wound being the discolored scar you could barely see behind his arm. you shouldnât be this surprised, it had nearly been two months since youâd been in such close vicinity to the boy; but yet, you couldnât help but feel proud at how well heâs healed.
âwhat is it neteyam?â moâat says, barely looking up to recognize the presence of her eldest grandson.Â
but he looks surprised at your presence. shocked, even.
his eyes shift unevenly between the two of you, only to rest comfortably on his grandmother. âit is aâewĂŹ, she is awake.â
moâats ears twitch at the name. aâewĂŹ, you were familiar with her: the young girl, not much older than tuk, with a terrible respiratory infection that sheâd been battling for the past week. youâre cheerful to know that she is in better condition than the last time you heard her name.
âthank you neteyam.'' is all she says before standing, presumably to tend to the young girl.
you turn to watch her leave. âshould i come with you moâat?â
âno, stay here,â she affably commands. âcontinue to dilute the venom. carefully.â
and with that last word of wisdom, she is gone.
you silently follow her commands, trickling the venom through layers of cloth and charcoal, finally dripping into a clear solution.
âvenom?â
the voice beside you makes you jump, and you canât hide the shock on your face when you see that neteyam is still with you in the tent.
âyes.â you say, dully. âyes! it is slinth venom.â you correct your cadence, adding an authentic excitement to your words.
âcanât that kill you?â heâs leaning closer to the small contraption-- or, rather, closer to you.
âwellâŚif it is injected in you from the slinth, then yes, it can.â you shift, giving neteyam room to sit next to you. you smile when he finds the space next to you, and your heart skips a beat when your knees brush against each other.
âbut there is a way to extract it so that it loses the harmful toxins. and, by diluting it, it can be used to accelerate healing in wounds.â
you two sit there as the venom drips into the solution as it shimmers a vibrant green. the bright color dissipates as its diluted in the clear liquid beneath it.
âdid you ever use it on me?â neteyam asks, sounding hesitant.
you look over to him, at his bright yellow eyes, the way his pupils have dilated from the darkness of the tent. heâs transfixed on the contraption, and you settle nicely into the few moments of silence in which you appreciate how truly beautiful he is.
you startle when he turns over to you.
âno!â you say abruptly, turning your gaze back over to the venom. âi donât think so, i didnât do too much to you, i just helped seal your wound so it could heal faster, the elders got to you before i did.â
from the corner of your vision, you can see the way his gaze lingers on his face, and it takes far too much strength to ignore it.Â
âare you going to be busy tonight?â
you twitch your nose at his question. âprobably not, i should be done studying with moâat before eclipse.â
âgood.â he pauses. âwould you like to come and fly with me tonight?â
the shock at his question is enough for you to give into your temptations, and turn your head to meet his gaze. but you donât see a well-hidden quip behind his eyes, or a poorly stifled snicker in the back of his throat-- in fact, you donât see anything comedic about his question, nor his demeanor.
neteyam was being genuine.
âsure,â youâre nodding before you speak, watching the way his face lights up at your response. âit has been a while since iâve been out with pasuk, iâm sure she would enjoy the air as well!â
he smiles at your enthusiasm, sending heat straight to your cheeks.Â
âmeet me by the waterfall,â he says, leaning closer to you. âjust before eclipse.â
moâat nearly stomps moments later through the tent's flap, her abruptness causing both you and neteyam to quickly pull away from one another.
âskxawngâevan,â stupid boy, she mumbles to no one in particular, leaving both you and neteyam to look at each other in bewilderment.
âneteyam, your brother got himself injured again.â she says, directly to her grandson, and you can hear neteyam curse under his breath.
âwhat did he do this time?â he stands up, helping moâat collect small jars and bowls to help aid his brother.Â
âhe provoked a hive of hellfire wasps.â sheâs heading towards the exit when she looks back to neteyam, shaking her head. âiâm surprised that the boy hasnât killed himself yet.â
once she had exited the tent, neteyam turned back to you âhey!â whispered loudly, bringing your attention undividedly onto him. âmidnight, the waterfall.â he reminds you.
âokay!â you responded in the same volume, as if the two of you were planning was something forbidden. ânow go help your brother, it sounds like heâs had a rough day.â
all neteyam does is give you a lop-sided smirk before he disappears through the flaps of the tent.
tonight. midnight. you remind yourself.
itâs a date.
the fourth time you see him, the air is so thin that you find yourself struggling to breathe.Â
it had been so long since you were out with pasuk, your lovely ikran, that youâd forgotten how thin the air can be when youâre above the mountains.Â
but what you lack in proper air to your lungs, the astonishing terrain makes up for tenfold.
you looked down to the forest below you, the massive leaves blocking out almost all of the bioluminescence on the ground. yet still, there were gaps that found their way through the foliage, resulting in a purple and blue speckled sea beneath you.Â
neteyam is barely ahead of you, and you note the way he keeps turning around to look at you. he looks beautiful at night; the freckles on his body reflect the stars above you, and you have to stop yourself every time you think of your fingers dragging between each bioluminescent dot on his body.
heâs obviously a much more skilled rider than you. nearly every other second heâs flying loops around you and pasuk, flipping his ikran through the air, and diving down towards the ground only to quickly rise above you moments later.
it takes you a while, but you figure out why heâs doing this:
neteyam is trying to impress you.
itâs something that goes straight to your ego: the oloâeyktans son, sneaking out away from his family and his duties, to try and impress some girl heâd met only a month ago.
and -- oh, it was working.
you hear his ikran shriek beside you, and you can see neteyam signal for you and pasuk to perch on the cliff right beside you. you nod to him, turning over to the steep edge.
âlook,â neteyam points up to the sky filled with millions of stars, and you struggle to see exactly what he is pointing out.
âthere is a meteor that will pass by soon,â he says, making you turn your gaze back to him. âthe sky people say that it only comes every one thousand years, this will be the only time any of us will be able to see it.â
you smile brightly, looking back up to the sky. âthen i guess we better keep our eyes peeled.â
for the next few minutes, itâs the two of you sitting in silence, clinging to your ikran, gaze fixed on the sky above you.
and that's when you see it.
itâs bright, green, and it's fast. it leaves a trail of stardust behind it, and you can't help but laugh at the sight of it. itâs flying across the sky, faster than anything youâve seen before. and, just as soon as it was there, it was gone.
but it leaves its mark: the shimmering star dust, perfectly incandescent, shining as bright as any other moon.Â
âitâs beautiful.â you say, and in your enticement over the asteroid, you donât notice the way neteyams eyes are completely fixated on you.
âyes,â he whispers. âit is.â
the fifth time, everything is different.
youâre leading him by the hand through the forest, stepping over tree roots and under low hanging branches. if memory serves you correctly, youâre on the right path.
two months since that night in the sky, and now youâre on the forest floor with the sun high in the sky.
âwhy wonât you tell me where you are taking me?â he asks for the umpteenth time, and you canât help but look back at him and laugh.
âyou are so impatient, why canât you just wait and see?â
âbecause waiting and seeing could result in you leading me to a thanator den?â he says, hopping over an overgrown root.
âneteyamâŚâ you swing his arm side to side, slowing down your steps. âwhy do you always have to worry? why canât you relax once in a while?â
you say it with a smile, because while his vigilance could get on your nerves, it was tied directly to his tenderness. which was, inarguably, your favorite trait of his.
âi canât help but worry, i would really hate for either of us to die.â neteyam says, suddenly squeezing your hand.
âi promise that we will not die,â you say, returning the gesture and tenderly squeezing his. âin fact, iâm pretty sure i can see it just up ahead!â
only a few moments later do you break through the foliage, finding yourselves in a bright clearing. the leaves above you have managed to stay clear of this area, leaving bright rays of sun to peak through.Â
there are tall plants surrounding the area, as if eywa herself had carved a spot clear of foliage-- save the grass and the vines that snuck down from the trees above you.
while you loosen your grip on neteyams hand, his only grows tighter.
heâs standing next to you, eyes darting around him, above him, below him--Â
âthis is where i like to come when i want to be alone,â you tell him, watching every slight movement he makes; the way his ears bend back whenever an animal calls out in the distance, the way his bright yellow eyes are moving so erratically, and the way that his pupils have shrunk nearly half its size from the bright light shining through above you.
âi havenât shown it to anyone else.â you quietly add, which is what makes him focus back on you. he takes your other hand in his, his stuck eyes on them as he slowly brushing his thumbs over the back of your palms.
âthank you,â neteyam says, looking back up at you. âitâs beautiful.â
something shifts in the way youâre seeing him; the smile tugging at the edges of his lips, the slight twitching of his ears, the quiet swishing of his tail against the tall grass--
you can feel your heart in your throat.
you can tell that something pivots for neteyam as well. his eyes are darting quickly between yours, fighting so hard not to look at your slightly parted lips, and heâs suddenly hyper aware of how small your hands feel within his.
neteyamâs callused hands are slowly moving up your forearms, just as yours begin to reach his biceps. you can feel your body moving on its own accord, detached from your brain, from your logic, your reasoning--
his hands are resting against your neck, cradling your jaw and timidly thumbing at your cheeks. your palms are gently cupping the sides of his face, and with how close you are, you can feel his breath on your lips.
âneteyamâŚâ you whisper his name against his lips, and you can feel your blood rushing to your face.Â
you canât stop yourself-- you wouldnât want to, even if you could.
in moments your lips are on his; slow, purposeful, passionate-- saying everything you wish you could. telling him how long youâve yearned for him-- for this, for the solitude and the intimacy of this moment.
neteyam is fervently returning the sentiment, his grip on your face has turned more firm, his lips pressed against yours so hard that you can feel yourself stumbling backwards. every word you say against his lips, he matches it; every movement your body makes against him leaves him aching for more.
you only pull away when your lungs begin to throb, and youâre left gasping. your eyes are darting quickly between his, and the air around you is thick with the knowledge of what you just did.
neteyam whispers your name, his forehead against yours.
he doesnât say it, he doesnât have to--
you know what this means.
soon enough, itâs neteyam who sees you.
nearly six months since that fateful night; six months since your world had changed, since neteyam had unconsciously stumbled into your life-- since youâd finally felt whole again.
five months since that night under the stars, four months since youâve shared that kiss with him.
and once again, you are leading neteyam through the forest by your hand.
except this time, itâs deep into the night.
and this time, he knows exactly where you are going.
heâs been on this route dozens of times during his youth. all the times heâs visited with his parents, with his siblings, with his friends; all the times that heâd come to utral aymokriyä, the tree of voices, to hear the songs of his ancestors from years ago.
and now, he is coming with you.
the bioluminescence around you lights your way, your heavy steps leaving bright footprints on the grass beneath you. just like that day, more than four months ago, you can hear neteyam laughing behind you.
âare we almost there?â
âneteyam,â you laugh through your hiss. âyou know exactly where we are going, canât you figure that out yourself?â
âmaybe.â he nearly trips over a root. âbut i prefer it when you tell me.â
youâre leaping across the fallen trunk of a tree, over a shallow pond, when you finally turn around him. âwell, neteyam, if you use your eyes and look up,â you point to the sacred flora, biting back the snark in your voice. âyouâll see that weâre already here.â
your grip on his hand fails to falter as you approach the tree; neither you nor neteyam can remember the last time either of you had been here.
the energy is palpable; with every step you take closer to the tree, you can feel your body buzzing. the bright light of the glowing stems.
you can feel the ground beneath you carry that same energy, that same low, constant buzz. itâs exhilerating-- itâs intoxicating.
âi canât remember the last time i was here.â you say, lost in the beauty of the flora around you.
âneither can i.â neteyam adds, just as easily transfixed as you. âi forget how beautiful it is.â
all you can do is nod.
when you finally drop his hand, itâs to reach out for a group of those glowing, electrifying stems. carefully-- shakily, you grab your queue from its braid, watching as the sensitive tendrils wrap around it.
and you can hear them.
in the way that you can hear your own thoughts, or feel your own heartbeat; they are not only around you, but inside you, feeling everything you feel, seeing everything youâve seen.Â
and, in turn, you can feel your ancestors, their joy, their unbridled happiness from being somewhere with their families from long ago.Â
you can feel neteyam make the same link besides you, and for a moment, you can feel him, as well.
youâre stuck there, for who knows how long, absorbing every ounce, every fibre of your lineageâs memories. as much as you can, at least-- as much as your mind can handle.
you only break the bond to look over to the boy beside you, finding him with a sense of childlike wonder in his face, his pupils dilated so far that thereâs only a golden ring of his iris visible.
you approach him, your hands delicately running along his shoulders. neteyam turns to you, pulling his queue away from the tendrils.
just like that day in the forest, your hands are slowly moving up his arms, reaching for his face.Â
neteyam is tantalising-- enticing, the amarenthine glow of the world around you making him all the more phantasmic. he looks unreal, other-worldly, like some transcendent being from a universe far, far away from here.
itâs impossible to look away. your eyes map out the freckles on his face, trailing down to his jaw, dispersing along his shoulders and chest. you recall all the time spent wanting, yearning to draw lines between those dots with your fingers, and how many hours youâve spent doing just that.
neteyams hand on your cheek takes you out of your trance, and he whispers your name like a a promise.Â
you donât hesitate.
your lips are on his, much like that day in the forest. but this time, there is something behind your movements-- something more ardent, more greedy.Â
again, neteyam is matching your favor, kissing you so hard that youâre sure your lips will bruise.Â
he wanders; your cheek, your jaw, your neck-- all the victim of the onslaught of his mouth. youâre holding back, biting back to pull him closer, deeper, until your skin is so close that you feel like one person.Â
âneteyam,â you murmur his name, pushing up on his jaw until his eyes meet yours again. but youâre fixated on how puffy his lips are, and youâre distracted by how dilated his eyes have become.
he doesnât say anything, but he knows. you know.
he can feel it too.
neteyam's hands cradling your face, thumbing a certain freckle on your cheekbone that he seemed to be constantly obsessed with.Â
he was enamored with it-- with you.
with your eyes closed, you can feel his forehead resting on yours, as three simple words utter from his lips:
the deets â lo'ak is the black sheep in the family, clinging to honor by a precarious thread. you are the well-loved songstress in the tribe. he should resent you for being everything he's not, but his fickle heart can't bring him to do so.
the who â lo'ak x fem omatikaya!reader
the word count â 10.2k (rip yall)
the tags â (one-sided) rivals-to-lovers, angsty angsty, hurt / comfort, reader gives lo'ak a big ol smooch (perhaps more than one), loâak is the biggest dumbass and because of this heâs mean asf, reader has a big ol heart and just really wants loâak to like her, aged!up characters for maturityâs sake.Â
the warnings â language, lo'ak is in luv but doesn't realize it, he's in denial that the feelings could be reciprocated, this is super dramatic so put your seat belts on!
the notes â was feeling extra sad and wanted to write something self-indulgent. this lovely anon requested something, and i used their ask as inspiration to finish this beast. fine line, bags, and love in dark are the three main songs i listened to finish this, so if you wanna be in your feels, have a listen LMAO. despite all the support, iâm still so mf nervous posting this ejsjsjdjs
masterlist
SOMETHING UGLY KINDLES IN THE PIT of Lo'ak's stomach at the mere mention of your name. It's sour on his tongue, bitter in his brain. He doesn't know when he's started to feel like this, started to feel absolutely dreadful anytime he'd hear the timbre of your voice.Â
It's warm, thick like nectar and it makes him sick.Â
Ever since you all were little, the elders crooned over what a great girl you were growing into; strong, intelligent, beautiful. It made him boil how much they'd sing your praises, the high esteem everyone held you in as one of the clan's most talented.Â
Something dull would pick at him being compared to his older brother, but nothing burned more than being compared to you.Â
Maybe it's because it's always implied whenever your names share the same sentences, that lingering implication that he could be more like you. The clan fans the flames of your mere existence while Lo'ak is snuffed out like a dying fire.Â
He hates it. He hates you.Â
He thinks.Â
It'd be easier to, if you were awful behind the scenes. Arrogant, stuck up, but you're none of those things. You're kind, gentle, mighty when you need to be. It doesn't help that you shine like the brightest star, engulfing everyone in your light, in your warmth.Â
But Lo'ak resists. He sees right through you, sees right through every saccharine smile you send him. He can see it in your eyes, how you really see him. Despite standing a full head taller than you, he sees the way you look down your nose at him.Â
It grates his nerves, how disgustingly sweet you are towards him despite all attempts to rebuff you.Â
Certainly doesnât soothe his ego when you always seem to be around the bend every time he gets bitched at by the clan, eyes soft and filled with pity. To add insult to injury, you frequently tail him like a shadow after these moments when all he wants is to be alone.Â
Like now, you linger.Â
It's after dinner and Kiri and Spider stand before him. They come together like the three points of a triangle and you stand an awkward distance away from them.Â
Kiri notices you first, her face splitting into a big smile as she waves you over.Â
Lo'ak breathes a deep sigh before locking eyes with Spider who tries his best to suppress an amused grin.Â
âHi,â you chirp and Lo'ak can't help but roll his eyes.Â
Spider and Kiri greet you eagerly. Lo'ak simply nods his head in acknowledgement before tightening his fist around his dagger.Â
âWe going or what?â he finally says.Â
You perk up.Â
âWhere are you guys heading off to?â you ask curiously, hands clasped behind your back.
Spider opens his mouth to answer, but Lo'ak cuts him off quickly.Â
âNo where important,â he says, unsure if you'll blab about their whereabouts to the elders, or worse, his parents.Â
You roll your lips and shift on your feet.Â
âCan I come?â you ask hesitantly, eyes hopeful.Â
Kiri's smile grows as she links her arm with yours.Â
âNo,â he says sharply. âAbsolutely not.âÂ
Your face falls and something pulls inside his chest when you fail meet his gaze, your frown barely perceptible.Â
You make a move to pull from Kiri's grasp, but her arm tightens through yours. She levels Lo'ak with a weighty glare and you fidget uncomfortably under his narrowed eyes.Â
âDon't worry about it,â you say, like someone's hit a reset button. You smile that pretty smile and Lo'ak wants to scream. "It's okay, I think Rutan needs help with clean up."Â
You slip from Kiri's grasp and the three watch you walk off.Â
âDo you always have to be such a bitch?â Spider scoffs a disbelieving laugh.Â
âShe's just gonna tag along so she can snitch,â Lo'ak grumbles.Â
âOh c'mon,â Kiri argues. â________ just wants friends.â
Lo'ak sneers.Â
âI don't want to be friends with her,â he says firmly, knuckles white around the handle of his knife.
âWeirdo,â Spider mumbles. âSheâs cute. Think she likes you.â
Lo'ak's spine stiffens.
âIt's an actâ Lo'ak grumbles. âShe just wants to look good in front of the elders to keep up whatever nice girl show she's putting on.âÂ
Kiri rolls her eyes hard.Â
There are moments when Lo'ak thinks he's being harsh, but he can't help himself. It's like he loses all semblance of a filter when it comes to you.Â
âHi, Lo'ak,â you greet him sweetly, lowering yourself onto the fallen log he's perched on, fashioning arrows to practice with later on in the evening with Neteyam.Â
He shifts away from you, putting the distance of two bodies between the two of you as he pauses his task at hand.Â
âHi,â he says flatly.Â
âCan I help?â you ask tentatively, fingers twitching towards one of the untouched sticks in a pile next to his feet.Â
His kicks them closer to himself, out of your reach before leveling you with a sharp glare.Â
âNo thanks,â he says quickly and you recoil slowly, letting out a shaky laugh before fixing that stupid smile on your pretty face.Â
âOh, sorry,â you apologize, straightening in your seat.Â
A silence so uncomfortably palpable settles over the two of you as you shift so that your knees are turned towards him.Â
His throat bobs when his gaze travels from your little toes all the way up to your inquisitive gaze, golden and searching. It makes something unruly settle in his gut and he turns his attention back to carving his arrows.Â
âDo you need something?â he breaks the silence finally. âI'm kinda busy.â
You bite your lip before scooting a little closer to Lo'ak's hunched figure.Â
âMy birthday's coming up,â you start.Â
âI'm aware,â Lo'ak almost scoffs.Â
It's all the clan has been able to talk about for the past few days. How they'd be able to prepare for the golden girl's next birth cycle and what they'd be able to do to make you smile the brightest.Â
âYour birthday is a week before,â you state and his head whips towards you.Â
âHow do you know that?â he asks sharply, accusation heavy in his gruff tone.Â
You flinch and he falters for a moment before your smile simply widens.Â
âWe grew up together, Lo'ak,â you say and the way his name sounds from your mouth sounds absolutely heavenly. âYou're my friend.â
Friend.Â
He scowls at the term.
âWe're not friends,â he bites back.Â
If the statement bothers you, you don't show it, simply tucking a strand of hair behind your ear before putting on a brave face.Â
âI want to celebrate with you,â you say shyly.Â
âHard pass,â he says too quickly, gathering his sticks and fashioned arrows under his grasp.Â
He leaves you in the clearing on your own.
You must be fucking with him. You have to be. It'd be the only explanation for why Jake pulls him aside a few nights later and tells him that you've requested to work with him and Neteyam during archery practice.Â
âNo,â he says stiffly, shaking his head.Â
His dad levels him with a hard glare and Lo'ak sighs deeply.Â
âShe's a nuisance, Dad,â he argues. âMe and Neteyam are making good progress with our training and we'll have to start at square one if she joins.â
âLo'ak, this isn't an ask,â Jake says sternly.Â
âBut, Dad!â
âLo'ak.â
Lo'ak huffs, snatching his bow and quiver angrily before storming off.Â
âYou're doing great,â Neteyam says to you once the three of you have convened in the training circle.Â
The three arrows you've shot have all landed within centimeters of the mark and to say that Neteyam is impressed is an understatement. Lo'ak, on the other hand, fumes not-so-silently as he tears his arrows from his target.Â
Yet again, you have another person wrapped around your finger and it makes his blood simmer as he assumes his position at the marker and loads his arrow. It splinters through the air and hits the target right on the bullseye. The arrow punctures through the hide and lodges its way into the wood from the sheer force of Loâakâs shot.Â
You start at him moon-eyed, lush lips breaking into a full smile.Â
âPerfect shot,â you observe. âThat was awesome.âÂ
Loâak scans your features hesitantly before his gaze flits to his older brother, waiting for any acknowledgment that heâd done a great job, but Neteyam is taking notes on the arrows still stuck in the fabric of your own target.Â
His heart sinks.Â
âFuck this,â Loâak grumbles, bundling all of his belongings.
He stalks through the clearing, past his brother, to leave you two.Â
He doesnât know what fuels the fire more, the fact that Neteyam didnât even bat an eye at the feat theyâd been practicing for for the past three weeks because he was too immersed in you, or the fact that you bore witness to his first clean shot and gave him that sickeningly sweet smile that made his stomach turn.Â
âWhere are you going?â Neteyam sighs.Â
âSomewhere you two arenât,â he grumbles under his breath, ducking through the brush of the lofty forest.Â
You lick your lips, locking eyes with Neteyam as you give him a bashful grin and slowly break away to follow Loâakâs path.Â
He isnât far ahead as you push through the vines and low-hanging leaves, the path lined with large plants and the spindly roots of the looming trees. The grass is plush between your toes as you scamper to follow Loâak from a distance, watching as his lithe body climbs through the dense flora.Â
âWhy are you following me?â he calls after a few dozen paces, stopping in the middle of the path to whirl on his heel.Â
His golden eyes are syrupy, warm despite the edge, and you canât help but flash him your pearly whites in a genuine smile that takes up your dimpled cheeks.Â
âWhyâd you run off?â you ask him. âYou were doing so well!âÂ
His chest rises and falls with a scoff.Â
âYou can give it a rest, you know?â Loâak says flatly, fist so tight around his bow he feels like heâll crush the wood.Â
Your expression morphs, eyebrows furrowing in a way that makes Loâak throat bob, something pinching behind his ribcage.Â
âWhat?â you ask, frown marring your pretty face.Â
âI donât know what youâre playing at, but you can stop acting like you wanna be friends with me,â Loâak says matter-of-factly.Â
âYou are my friend,â you protest quietly.Â
Loâak rolls his eyes.Â
âDude, whatever,â he mutters, turning his back on you.Â
âIs it so wrong?â you murmur and he stops in his tracks, refusing to meet your gaze. âTo be friends?âÂ
Friends.Â
That stupid fucking word again.
Loâak bites his tongue and stalks off, leaving you on the path.Â
Neteyam rips him a new one when he sees him at dinner later that night. Loâak hangs his head as Neteyam digs in.
âIs it so hard to be nice?â Neteyam asks, hand squeezing his shoulder as they stand a handful of meters away from the main circle.Â
As his eyes wander, he notices you sitting with his sister, head thrown back in laughter that glitters and wafts with the rising smoke of the fire. He swallows turning his attention back to his older brother.Â
âJust donât like her,â he admits. âI want her to leave me alone.âÂ
âYou donât like her or you like her too much?â Neteyam asks, brow bone raised.Â
Loâakâs face scrunches.
âEw, no,â he blurts. âWhy would Iââ
â________ just wants to fit in,â he sighs. âShe has trouble making friends.âÂ
âYeah, I wonder why,â Loâak mocks. âI donât know why Kiri and Spider are always up her ass, sheâsââ
âLoâak,â Neteyam warns.Â
âDude, everyone is always ________ this, _________ that! I donât understand whatâs so great about herââ
A throat clears and the brothers both turn their attention to the newcomer. Loâak could groan in frustration seeing that youâve abandoned your seat and now stand nearby with two wooden plates.Â
âTheyâre going to start cleaning up soon,â you say hesitantly. âWanted to bring you some.âÂ
Neteyam takes it graciously from you, nodding his head in thanks while Loâak stares down at the plate youâd arranged for him, abundant in vegetables and thick cuts of meat.Â
âNo thanks,â he says flatly.
You try to coax him.Â
âCâmon Loâak, you say gently. âI know you havenât eaten yet.âÂ
âNo thanks,â he repeats stonily, holding his hand up.Â
You offer up the plate again.Â
âLoâakââÂ
âI said no thank you,â he grunts, annoyed.Â
Heâd only meant to push it back towards you, but one second itâs in your hands, the next youâre wearing dinner, the plate clattering onto the ground.Â
âLoâak!â Neteyam scolds.Â
âShit, I didnâtââ
âItâs fine,â you breathe an airy laugh and Loâak freezes when he hears your breath hitch. âIt was an accident.âÂ
âOh, ________âŚâ Neteyam sighs, but youâre picking up the plate and scurrying off, ignoring the nearby snickering.Â
âWhatever you got going on, you need to cool it,â Jake scolds him in the family tent after dinner that night. â________ is a good girl, sheâs trying to find her place. Canât really do that if youâre gonna be a jerk to her all the time.âÂ
Loâak resists the urge to roll his eyes because, yet again, someone is sticking up for you, admonishing him about how he could be nicer, how he could take you under his wing, how heâ
âWhat about me?â Loâak argues. âI tell her to leave me alone all the time, but she doesnât listen. Why do I have to be nice to someone who doesnât respectââ
âCut the bullshit,â Jake thunders. âYou havenât even tried being her friend.âÂ
âWhy should I?â Loâak counters.Â
âBecause maybe you two are more alike than youâd care to learn,â Jake says knowingly. âNow go apologize.âÂ
âDad!âÂ
âGo, Loâak.âÂ
Loâak sucks in a deep breath before squeezing his eyes shut and blowing out through his nose.Â
âFine, fine, whatever,â he grumbles, ducking from the tent into the humid night air.Â
He starts into the jungle, fingers brushing over the leaves and petals of the plants and flowers. He takes the moment to regulate his pounding heart in his chest before trying to wrack his brain for any words that he could scrounge into a believable apology.Â
When he crosses the glowing waters of a skinny brook, something rustles nearby and his hand is on the hilt of his dagger in the blink of an eye.Â
He turns to face the noise, knife drawn, but then you emerge and his body relaxes a fraction.Â
âFuck, ________, you scared me,â he sighs in relief.Â
You fidget and swallow down the lump in your throat.Â
âSorry,â you say sheepishly.Â
A brief silence dawns the two of you and Loâak notes that youâve cleaned up from the evening mealâs debacle, now wearing a longer loincloth threaded with round pearlescent beads that refract the luminescence of the surrounding forest.Â
Your grasp tightens around a leather bound journal and for a moment, he wonders what you could be writing about.Â
When you follow his gaze, you shyly tuck the journal behind your back and give him an uneasy smile.Â
âI wanted toââ
âI came toââ
Your words clash and you breathe a little laugh through your nose as you gaze at him with brilliant eyes. You start closing the distance and Loâakâs hands grow clammy.Â
âYou first,â you offer.Â
Whatever threads of an apology heâd crafted in the moments prior have evaporated now that you stand before him, absolutely glowing.Â
âLoâak?â Your head tilts and his cheeks warm.Â
âSorry,â he says hoarsely. âFor what happened at dinner.âÂ
You shake your head quickly.Â
âYou donât have to apologize,â you assure him, reaching out to touch him.Â
He recoils, clearing his throat as he retreats to put an ample amount of distance between the two of you.Â
You eye the berth and something shutters across your face as you rock back on your heels and flash him another uneasy smile.Â
You havenât even tried being her friend, his dadâs words echo like a call in the night. Maybe you two are more alike that you care to learn.Â
Were you? You and Loâak were as different as they come, you molded by the love and adoration of the clan, him built up by the lessons and lectures he received from his parents and Neteyam.Â
âWhere are you going?â you ask, blowing by the previous conversation.Â
He shrugs.Â
âDunno,â he admits. âI was looking for you.âÂ
The way you freeze is almost covert, your lips rolling as you try to hide the smile threatening to split your face.Â
âOh,â you hum. âWanna go for a walk?âÂ
No, he wants to say. He absolutely does not want to spend anymore time with you than he has to. Likes to believe that he wouldnât even bat an eye if he were to never see you again, but youâre looking at him expectantly and his dadâs words are like a mantra in his head, so he agrees begrudgingly.Â
Itâs awkward at first, silent except for the natural soundtrack of the vicarious jungle. But like you do so well, you break the silence and Loâak has to resist rolling his eyes for the third time that night.Â
âWhat are your favorite colors?â you ask suddenly.Â
âI dunno, green?â he offers.Â
âAre you sure?â you laugh quietly.Â
Loâak thinks a moment before nodding his head.Â
âYeah, green,â he finalizes. âAnd blue.âÂ
He barely notices that youâd fallen behind, and when he turns to look over his shoulder, he sees that youâre scratching something into your little journal.Â
âAnd your favorite fruit?â you press, nose still between the pages.Â
Loâak breathes out a laugh and your head shoots up.Â
âWhat? You gonna send this list to the lab?â Loâak asks.
You give him a shy smile, shifting on your feet.Â
âNo,â you say softly, then whisper to yourself, âjust compiling a list to win your heart.âÂ
Loâak barely hears you, ears twitching as his eyes narrow in confusion.Â
âWhat?â he asks.Â
You snap your notebook shut, shaking your head quickly as you pad through the grass to catch up to him.Â
âNothing.âÂ
Something ripples in the fabric after that night, you and Neteyam both notice when Loâak enters the training clearing the next afternoon and greets you with a nod instead of flat out ignoring your presence like he had the last training session.Â
And you think that the moment is fleeting, a one off, but as the days progress, you realize that maybe Loâak is finally softening around you.Â
He stays for entire lessons, the most minute of smiles twitching at his lips whenever you compliment his shots. He waits near the edge for you as you pack up your things, and while the walk back to the village is a quiet one, you bask in his company, triumphant when he doesnât run off.Â
And while your evening walks are few and far between, you savor the moments he affords you, wedging yourself between him the crumbling walls of his facade.Â
Tonight is one of those moments, sitting on adjacent branches overlooking the lively forest, when Loâak lets you peek farther into his life than heâd originally intended.Â
âHe never understands,â he sighs, popping a few berries from his satchel past his lips.Â
Tonightâs topic is his father and you listen intently, eyes fixed on the way he reclines on the branch and looks up at the stars.Â
âI try hard, you know? To make everyone proud, but all they see is my failure,â he says, obviously annoyed. âNo matter what I do, itâs not good enough.âÂ
âYou do great things, Loâak,â you say quietly, the first words youâve said all night.Â
And like your voice is a reminder, Loâakâs spine goes rigid, throat bobbing as he realizes that he may have said too much to you. Heâs getting too comfortable and youâre all the willing to absorb every insecurity and every worry he has.Â
But something about quiet moments like these makes him loose-lipped, eyes fluttering to where youâve got your notebook balanced in the seam of your thighs, scrawling something on the pages as you eat your own berries.Â
The words are leaving him before he can stop them.Â
âEasy for you to say,â he murmurs. âYouâre perfect.âÂ
The laugh that escapes you startles him and a few of the berries he was about to devour slips from his fingers and plunk down the leaves.
âIâm not perfect,â you assure him.Â
âOnly someone whoâs perfect would say that,â Loâak grumbles, peering over the edge of the branches to spot his fallen fruit. âThe whole village loves you, everyoneâs always so ready to bat for you.âÂ
You look down at the pages of your journal with a sad smile.Â
âItâs a lot of pressure,â you admit quietly. âEveryoneâs watching your every move, waiting for you to mess up.âÂ
Loâak shifts uncomfortably.
You continue.Â
âAnd most of the villagers our age donât like me,â you say, thumbing one of the pages. âThey say I kiss ass, that Iâm always trying to keep a leg up.âÂ
Loâak winces, knowing that heâs the source of at least one of those sentiments.Â
âThe elders think youâre honorable,â Loâak argues gently. âYouâre talented, you have something to offer the people.âÂ
âHonor means nothing if youâre bound by it,â you say finally, closing the cover to your journal. âIf anything, I want to be more like you.âÂ
âLike me?â Loâak asks incredulously, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.Â
You nod, smiling at him.Â
âYeah,â you whisper. âI think youâre brave, fearless. And even if you care what people think, you do what you want.â
Loâak is quiet, taken aback by your confession.
Before he can respond, youâre gathering your things, bidding him a warm farewell as you begin climbing down the tree to disappear into the night.Â
After that night, you think that maybe youâre just imagining things, that youâre reading too much into the fact that Loâak has begun to finally act like you exist, but then Kiri says something and the hope sends your heart soaring.Â
âSeems like he finally got his head out of his ass,â she says a few mornings later as you two stand near a shallow stream, eyes peeled for any fish you two could bring back to the village.Â
âThink so?â you ask nervously, arrow trapping the flailing fish to the pebbles of the streamâs bed.Â
Kiri shrugs.Â
âHe actually pays you mind now,â Kiri observes. âThatâs a step up for sure. I think you just need to spend more time with him.âÂ
You smile, splashing through shallow waters to capture the fish and add it to the growing pile in the basket between you and the middle Sully.Â
âYeah?â you wonder
So you test the theory, basket filled with various peeled fruits and a little container of nectar you squeezed from the petals of a flower.Â
It doesnât take long to hunt him down. When you enter the training circle, heâs packing up his things, quiver strapped to his back and bow in his fist.Â
Before you make yourself known, heâs turning on his heel to face you, eyes wild as he swallows down the lump in his throat.Â
Heâd be the last to admit that the last night you two spent together was branded in his brain, that his mouth had dried up so much so he felt his tongue could crack.
There were so many implications in your words and it horrified him, scared him so much that he knew he couldnât let you that close again.Â
But now you stand before him, pretty as can be, hopeful even, and heâs at a war with himself, absolutely caught between resenting you for being everything heâs not and giving into the draw.Â
âHi,â you greet, basket heavy in your hands.Â
You look more radiant than usual, skirt brushing the forest floor, the woven vine of your top banded to expose your midriff.Â
âHey,â he replies hesitantly.Â
âWhere you going?â you ask curiously.
His throat bobs as he gestures behind him.Â
âHunting,â is all he says.
âDo you want to go for a walk?â you ask eagerly.
He doesnât. He shouldnât. Because things are shifting and heâs not sure if heâll be able to stomach the change. If heâll be able to admit to himself that youâre wearing him thin, that you make him feel things heâs never felt before and that it makes him feel like he has no control.Â
Because when it boils down to it, you make him lose control, make him lose his filter, and make him feel every emotion twice as hard.Â
âNo,â he says.
And in that moment, you feel like youâre back at square one, watching as his eyes turn stony and his jaw sets firmly.Â
âYou shouldnât go hunting on your own,â you say softly. âWill someone be with you?âÂ
âItâs fine,â he argues. âIâm fine.âÂ
âI can go with you!â you offer. âI thought maybe we could sit by the stream and talk, but we can go hunting instead. We canââÂ
âNo,â he says again, pinning you with eyes so lethal, it makes you wonder if you really had imagined the moments you shared with him, if you had imagined Kiri telling you that she saw it too.Â
You try again anyways.Â
âItâll be good practice andââ
âI said no, ________,â he barks. âYouâre dead weight and I want to be alone.âÂ
Your lips seal and you bite the inside of your cheek.Â
Loâak could nearly scream in frustration when he notices the way your shoulders sag and it makes something in his heart cinch.Â
âOkay,â you agree, nodding quickly. âBe safe andââ
The words die on your tongue when you notice the look of annoyance on Loâakâs face.Â
Loâak is in deep shit, you come to find out hours later.Â
You sit outside of the training circle, knowing that Loâak will return down the path after his hunting trip. What you donât expect, however, is Jake and Neytiri emerging with the entire line of Sully kids and Spider.
Jake grips the back of Loâakâs neck tightly as they march past wandering eyes, straight to the family tent. You donât miss his wounds though, varying in depth, some bleeding, some sore.Â
Youâre hot on their heels, standing right outside of the entrance as Jake tears into the middle Sully.Â
âTime and time again, I have to get on your ass for doing the complete opposite of what I ask you to do!â Jakeâs voice is thunderous inside the tent. âDo you not realize that you not only risked your life but your sistersâ too?â
Thereâs a beat of silence before Jake continues, obviously pacing from the way his volume fluctuates.Â
âAnd what were you thinking bringing Tuk? Sheâs nine, Loâak!â he shouts, the anger and the hurt evident in his tone.Â
âIâm sorry,â Loâak mumbles.Â
âYeah, I bet you are!â Jake scolds. âI donât ask for much. All I want is for you stay in line. Just stay out of trouble and work hard on your training. I paired you with ________ and Neteyam in hopes that maybe youâll tighten up and be more like them, but youâre always disappointing me.âÂ
You frown.Â
Whatever Loâak had done probably didnât warrant such deep admonishment and something tugs especially hard at your heartstrings knowing that all he wants to do is make his dad proud.Â
âYouâre surrounded by good influences, but you always have to go against the grain, Loâak,â Jake says, the edge in his tone softening. âIâm getting tired of the bullshit, son. You need to clean up your act. Hear me?âÂ
âYes sir,â Loâak says quietly, voice almost a whisper behind the hide of the tent.Â
âNow go get yourself cleaned up,â Jake huffs.Â
Your spine is straightening when you hear foot steps closing in, holding your breath as the flap to the tent billows open and Loâak is emerging.
His eyes flit to yours and his expression sours further.Â
âLoâak,â you murmur, reaching out to him.Â
Heâs shrugging you away, wincing when a wound on his shoulder stretches especially taut.Â
âYouâre hurt,â you say quietly. âIâllââ
âLeave me alone,â he says, eerily level.Â
âBut youâreââ
âI said leave me alone, ________,â he warns, pushing past you in what should be the pursuit of his grandmotherâs quarters.
Instead heâs making a beeline for the jungle.Â
Youâd seen the look in his eye before he stonewalled you, seen the hurt and heaviness that most people didnât seem to notice because he was always so adventurous and carefree.Â
You follow after him.Â
âLoâak, you know heâs only worried for you,â you try to reason gently, fingers reaching for his own as you duck under massive leaves and fluttering insects.Â
He whirls to face you, swatting your hand away.Â
âDonât fucking touch me,â he bites. âYou donât know anything.âÂ
You swallow, holding your hand to your chest as you watch him lay down every brick to wall himself off.Â
He hates it. He hates how you look at him, how you seem to pity the life he has to live. It makes him sick, thinking that you two have it the same. Heâd rather be hated for being great than hated for being a let down. Itâs insulting, how you think you know how it feels.Â
âLetâs go back. Iâll wrap your wounds andââ
âOf course, clanâs golden girl is gonna patch me up and make it all better, huh?â he seethes facetiously. âJust fuck off!âÂ
You flinch, blinking at the boy you holds so much rage in front of you.Â
âI know youâre hurting, but you donât have to be mean,â you whisper, taking in a shuddering breath to will yourself not to cry.Â
âMean? Mean?â Loâak bristles. âIâve tried telling you to lay off nicely, tried telling you to just leave me alone, but you donât listen. You just pry and overstep and you make every little thing about you! Oh, itâs so much pressure, villagers our age hate me, of course they would! You already have everything and just have to go rub salt in the wound!âÂ
You shrink, eyes welling as your lip trembles.Â
âLoâak, stop,â you whimper.Â
âWeâre not friends, ________.We never were and we never will because I donât like you,â he spits. âNow please, for the love of god, will you just leave me alone!âÂ
The forest is silent save for Loâakâs ragged breathing, fists clenched as he glares down at you.Â
âI-â Your breath hitches and you choke out an apology. âIâm sorry.âÂ
Loâakâs heart softens a fraction as you take a step back, turning quickly on your heel.Â
âFuck, Iâm sorry,â you rasp, tripping over your own feet as you stumble into a run, putting as much space as you can between you and the middle child who stands in the middle of the forest, unable to wrangle every harsh word heâd said to force back down his throat.Â
You dropped your journal.Â
Loâak is sure youâre looking for it, know that youâve always got your nose stuck in it. You had dropped it running off and now he has its leather bound in his hands.Â
Itâs been a couple of nights since the faithful evening heâd blown his top and heâd only seen whispers of you. It was so unlike you to disappear, to not be entertaining the masses as they fell to your feet.Â
Heâd cooled off significantly, and when he replayed the conversation in his head, he winced, body folding in on itself as he realizes how harsh heâd been.Â
âAre you actually thinking thoughts?â Spider claps him on the shoulder, startling him so badly he drops the journal.Â
It lands spine down, the pages fluttering open.Â
He chances a peek before Spider is rounding his lithe figure to pick up the notebook. All he makes out is a rough sketch.Â
âYou write?â Spider asks, intrigued.Â
âNo, itâs ________âs,â Loâak answers.Â
âOh, your little girlfriendâs?âÂ
Loâak gives the human a cross look, snatching the book from his grasp as he stands up.
âTrouble in paradise?â Spider pries, scurrying to keep up with Loâakâs long strides.Â
A beat of silence before Loâak finally answers.Â
âMade her cry,â he mumbles, embarrassed.Â
Spider winces behind him.Â
âYou serious?âÂ
Loâak sighs.Â
âYes, dude, fuck,â he breathes, hand coming to the back of his neck. âI donât know what came over me. Dad was ripping me a new one and Neteyam already chewed me out before they got there and she was being annoying, so I justâŚâÂ
âBro,â Spider scoffs in disbelief, scratching the back of his head. âYouâre a real dickhead sometimes.âÂ
Loâakâs eyes wander as he shifts uncomfortably, feeling incredibly small as his friend glares up at him.Â
âI mean, I told her I wanted to be left alone!â Loâak tries to defend weakly. âI- I didnât mean to.âÂ
âShe likes you a lot, dude,â Spider reiterates. âShe just wants you to like her back.âÂ
Despite the glaring signs, Loâak has trouble believing that your feelings for him far surpass charity work. They couldnât, it was impossible. Because at the end of the day, youâre you and heâsâŚhim.Â
He opens his mouth to say something, but Spider beats him to it.
âDid you at least apologize?âÂ
Loâak squirms.
âDude!âÂ
âLook, I know, I know,â he tries to assuage the situation.Â
â________ is literally the sweetest girl in the entire clan you justââÂ
âI get it, bro, I get it!â Loâak huffs.Â
âGet your head out of your ass,â Spider says. âShe might not stick around long enough for you to realize.âÂ
âRealize what?â Loâak snaps.Â
âAre you really gonna play stupid right now?âÂ
He blinks at the human.Â
âYou like ________,â Spider says matter-of-factly. âYou always have, ever since we were kids.âÂ
âOh, piss off,â Loâak grumbles.
âDude, youâre literally my best friend, but I sometimes I wanna shove my foot so far up yourââ
âI do not like ________,â Loâak says sharply.Â
âEveryone sees it but you, dipshit,â Spider scoffs. âYou like her, but youâre scared. Sheâs perfect and she intimidates you. Think sheâs gonna see you for what you really are and turn her back on you like everyone else does when you fuck up, but sheâs not like that, Loâak. Sheâs been there whether you like it or not. But she might not always.âÂ
Loâak swallows down the knot in his throat, fingers tightening around the notebook.Â
Loâak throws him a final narrowed glare before stalking off.Â
Itâs Loâakâs birthday and just like every orbit, he spends it alone in the forest.
At first, heâd been burdened with the weight of hurting your feelings, but now his conversation with Spider weighs heavy on him as he climbs dirt walkways and flowered paths.Â
It doesnât help that your notebook weighs heavy in his satchel, a silent reminder that he still has a piece of you while you cling to his peace of mind.Â
I think youâre brave, fearless. Theyâre the words you uttered to him that fateful night you turned the reality of you two on its axis.Â
As he splices all the moments you two shared like a reel, he realizes that itâs endless. That youâre always there, youâd always been there, like a layer of impenetrable atmosphere surrounding him.Â
He really should apologize, he knows this much, but youâve disappeared like a wisp of smoke. Training sessions have returned to a sibling affair and heâs too prideful to ask about you.Â
Itâs almost eclipse when he begins making his way back for the evening meal, knowing that a scolding will await if he arrives even a minute late.Â
After what had happened with you, he was lying low, trying to diminish his blip from the radar.
As he closes in on the villageâs main circle, he notes that itâs quiet. A little too quiet. It puts him on edge, makes him draw his bow and feel around for an arrow in his quiver.Â
A few more paces and heâs broken into the clearing, a few stragglers milling about. Another half a dozen steps and itâs like the forest melts into a celebration, whorls of blue pouring into the circle as villagers begin trilling.Â
Loâak is hoisted into the air as the dying fire in the center of the camp begins to slowly roar.Â
âHappy birthday, baby bro!â Neteyam caws loudly as they begin jostling him into the air, chanting and dancing as the dense crowd of clanspeople celebrate him.
Itâs like time slows as he peers from side to side eagerly, seeing the way Spider, Kiri and Tuk dance happily among his people. Jake and Neytiri stand near the fire, smiles wide when they see the look of awe on their middle sonâs face.Â
When heâs finally set on his feet, he wobbles, childlike as he turns, taking in the glowing streamers that crisscross between the tents. Flowers of green and blue thread through the vines, gleaming like lamplight as the forest buzzes around them.Â
âWhaâ What is all this?â Loâak croaks in disbelief, eyes flitting wildly as he notices Norm and Max standing next to a table theyâd hauled from the pod to the circle, piled high with meats and vegetables wrapped in leaves.Â
A platter of yovo fruits, his favorite, are at the center, surrounded by a painted sign with his name and the handprints of dozens of villagers on it.Â
âYou survived another orbit!â Neteyam laughs heartily, head-locking the younger boy before roughly digging his knuckles into the top of his head.Â
A laugh bubbles from Loâakâs lips, swatting his brother away as villagers and clan members heâd grown up with approach him one by one to greet him.Â
As the night progresses, he doesnât even realize heâs searching until your mother approaches and his spine goes rigid, cheeks warming under her piercing gaze.Â
âFrom my ________,â she says, setting a pouch into his palms. âShe toiled over these for many eclipses. Please take care.âÂ
Loâakâs nod is delayed as his satchel shifts on his shoulders, a dull reminder that your journal still remains with him, begging to be read.Â
âWhereâ Where is she?â he asks suddenly, feeling your absence all the more now that your gift sits in the palm of his hand.Â
âMy daughter does not feel well,â your mother says simply. âShe wished to be excused from the festivities.âÂ
His chest feels hollow, stomach tight as his cheeks burn. Youâd mentioned this to him, all those days ago in the training circle, about wanting to celebrate with him.Â
His eyes flit to the flowers looped through the vines, the mountain of yovo fruits, the gift in his hands. He doesnât want to be presumptuous. Doesnât want to fuel the tiniest ember of hope in chest, but he canât help it.Â
He canât help but read into it, into the implications of this celebration youâd planned all for him, into every word you uttered to him in the quiet of the forestâs chirping.Â
Itâs all it takes for him to lock himself in his own head. The feast melts into the background, dull, as his eyes cut the crowd for you.Â
You have to be here, gotta be hanging around the outskirts silently. The idea taunts him, makes his gut twist hard as images of you dancing in the circle, singing to him, celebrating him, loving himâ
Loâak freezes, blinking incredulously at the thought thatâd just crossed his brain. It makes him queasy, makes the regret and the guilt gnaw at every nerve ending as your crying face flashes like an unwanted slideshow in his brain.Â
Itâs all he can think about as the festivities die, as villagers begin turning in the for the night and he helps his family clean up the aftermath of another orbit finally finished.Â
Spider helps Tuk and Neteyam near the fire, and as Loâak moves through the motions like heâs caught in a tide, Kiri watches, knowing all too well what consumes her brotherâs mind.Â
It isnât until Loâak is shrouded by the stillness of the early morning, his family tucked in their tent, bodies and limbs splayed as they sleep together, that he sits in a swinging hammock, your journal and the pouch in his lap.Â
It feels wrong, the way he thumbs the cover, working up the courage to turn it open. But Ewya, fate, would have never left it in his wake if it wasnât meant to be read.
As his finger ghosts the etchings of the front cover, worn and loved by you, something tickles his leg as he admires the leather. He blinks in disbelief when he sees a singular woodsprite resting against his thigh.Â
Before he loses his nerve, heâs opening the pages with bated breath.Â
Recipes, nature notes, short thoughts fill the sheets and Loâak feels like heâs reading into your brain, seeing all the little things no one bothers to know.Â
he is like the sun,
shines so bright,
but burns the closer you get.Â
Loâakâs pointer finger glosses over the ink, over your curly handwriting.Â
he is so incredible, but he doesnât even know it. i want to shout it to every creature in the forest, every tree and every flower. oh, how i wish to be as fearless as him.Â
His chest heaves as the words blur.Â
Fearless.Â
Fearless.Â
Fearless.Â
In this moment, he feels everything but. He feels like a coward.Â
He continues to flip, throat lodged as he sees drawings, both rough sketches and full renderings. He hadnât even known that you liked to draw, yet here he was, observing his home through your artistic eye.Â
Flowers, leaves, trees, creatures, insects, fruits mar the stained papers, etched like itâd been caught in real time.Â
likes green and blue.Â
likes yovo fruits.Â
The entry from the day youâd first walked with him through the forest.Â
When he turns the page, his breath hitches.Â
In full color, youâd captured his bullseye from your first training session. His back taut from the release, expression shaded stoic. He looked mighty, like the strongest warrior, and it was all through your eyes.Â
Loâak doesnât even realize heâs crying until the bullseye in the illustration bleeds from a fallen tear. Another one drips from his chin, then another.Â
The next page is the night you two had poured your hearts out to each other. Again, in full color, heâs watching the stars. You donât leave out the glow of the freckles that smatter his face and body, donât miss the smile that plays at his lips as he quietly points out that his dad had come from a star.Â
He flips again and different iterations and designs for what seems like jewelry litters the pages, shaded with different colors of blue and green, marked with varying notes, xâs marking through ideas you didnât like.Â
Loâak remembers the pouch, sitting untouched in his lap, and his shaky fingers undo the ties. He shakes the contents on the flat of the notebook and the most intricate beadwork fits into the crease.Â
His eyes widen as he picks up the necklace in a trembling hand, the eclipsing sun catching the etching in the flat stones.Â
Four five-fingered hands and four four-fingered ones, each separated by jewels scavenged and cleaned from the bed of the glowing river.Â
A small scroll flutters from the pouch and Loâak chokes back as sob as he unrolls the hide.Â
Happy Birthday, Loâak. I am always grateful to know someone like you. May your next orbit be filled with endless blessings from Ewya and may you see yourself how I see you.Â
You see him, he realizes. Youâre his supporter, a silent force that consumes every insecurity and swallows every doubt. You believe in him more than he believes in himself.Â
He stands from the hammock and runs.Â
Youâre sitting in the same tree the two of you had rested in the night youâd confided in Loâak, watching as the sun eclipses and begins to light up the sparkling forest.
Something rustles and you sit up, hand on the hilt of your dagger as you search the area for movement.
As your eyes lock on the source, you almost wish it had been a beast coming to devour you whole. But as Loâak climbs the branches of the tree quickly, you feel the dread begin to solidify in your veins.Â
You take your satchel, hanging from a nearby branch and sling it over your shoulder, pulling your shawl over your head to prepare for your escape.Â
â________, wait,â he chokes breathlessly. âPlease.âÂ
You feel like crying all over again, feel so unbelievably stupid thinking that Loâak would ever see you the way that you see him.Â
You pause a beat as he settles on the branch across from yours, chest heaving as he tries to catch his breath.Â
Something glints in the sun and your eyes widen when you see that Loâak has fastened the necklace you made him around his neck, right above the the leather chain that holds his beloved claw charm.Â
âYouâre wearing it,â you whisper, lips twitching into a frown as you try your best to keep your tears at bay.Â
âIâm sorry, ________,â Loâak apologizes hoarsely. âFuck, you donât understand how sorry I am.âÂ
The tears well on their own.Â
Weâre not friends. We never were and we never will.Â
The words haunt you like a broken record and you shake your head, moving from your perch to move down the branches.Â
âI hate you,â you whisper. âI hate you, Loâak.âÂ
He freezes, watching as you balance on a branch below.Â
âI tried so hard to be your friend,â you whimper, angrily wiping away your tears. âYouâre amazing. Youâre strong, and youâre fearless, and you are everything I want to be, but youâre heartless.âÂ
Loâak lets out a shuddering breath, a chill running down his spine as you look up at him like heâd smashed every star in the sky.Â
âI wanted to be with you, you know?â you let out a watery laugh. âI hoped that maybe if I stuck it out, youâd see how much I cared, how badly I wanted to be with you, even if it was from a distance.âÂ
âI do, _________, I do!â he argues.Â
He hadnât always, but he sees it now. He sees you.Â
You shake your head again.
âYou donât,â you sigh, voice trembling. âItâs my fault anyways. You were right. You told me to leave you alone and I was being too much.âÂ
âStopââ
âLet this be the last time,â you assure him. âLetâs justâ Letâs pretend we never met.â
âNo, _________. Wait!âÂ
Youâre climbing down the tree and disappearing into the brush and, like a fleck of ash, youâre disintegrating into nothingness.Â
Most people think heâs being moody, that heâs just been scolded by his father or older brother, but Neytiri knows better.Â
She sees the way her son has changed over the course of the past few weeks. She knows there is a great burden that he carries, but much like her beloved and her eldest, he suffers in silence.Â
âMaitan,â she says quietly, brushing a braid from his face as he folds the leaves around a chunk of steaming meat.Â
Loâak pauses almost imperceptibly, but continues his task.Â
It isnât like him to stay home and work with Neytiri. If anything, heâd be the first one out of the tent, Tuk, Spider, and Kiri tailing after him as they galavant through the endless forest.Â
âSomething weighs heavy in your heart,â she tries again, hand coming over his.Â
Loâak stops and leans back, unable to meet his motherâs searching gaze.Â
âI hurt someone,â he says quietly.Â
Neytiri stiffens.
âWhat?âÂ
âI hurt someone I care about,â Loâak admits. Youâd called him fearless, strong. He needed to live by your word. âI hurt her and I donât know how to fix it.âÂ
âOh, Loâak,â she murmurs, squeezing his hand gently.Â
Her face has softened as she takes in his stony expression.Â
âMy son, some things cannot be fixed,â she says honestly. âBut all things require great effort. Sometimes those efforts will fall through, but that is the natural order of life.âÂ
Loâak swallows.Â
âWhoever this special person is, if you have hurt her, she deserves the full effort of your heart, no?âÂ
You do, he knows you do. You deserve every last effort. But a niggling streak of insecurity tells him that you donât deserve someone like him. You donât deserve someone who takes your affections for granted. You deserve someone who will love you with every breath, who will love you fearlessly.Â
âThe night I first met your father, Ewya gave me sign,â she says. âHe has a pure, strong heart. You do too.âÂ
Loâak swallows.Â
âBe brave, Maitan,â she says. âSometimes that is enough.âÂ
Loâakâs fingers hurt from picking berries.
His cuticles bleed, pricked by the thorns of the fruitâs bush. Kiri hums beside him, weaving a little bag out of ropes of thin vines.Â
âYouâre not gonna help me?â he whines.Â
âWhy should I help you with your mess?âÂ
You look beautiful under the glow of the evening mealâs crackling fire. Itâs the first time youâve emerged since before Loâakâs birthday feast and youâre being flocked by elders and villagers, wishing you well and asking about your supposed ailment.Â
He sits across the fire, fists tight as he searches for a lull in the crowd.Â
Spider snickers next to him, devouring the contents of his plate like heâs starved, watching Loâakâs useless pining like a show.Â
Be brave.Â
Heâs standing to his feet before he can back out, crossing the circle to approach you. The villagers watch like they know something he doesnât and the nerves are eating away at him as he steps into your space.Â
You look up from your conversation with a girl your age, the smile slipping from your lips.Â
âCan we talk?â Loâak asks, eyes wandering to watch the way everyone watches him.Â
You remain jaded.
âNowâs not a good time,â you say quietly and a few onlookers snicker in the background.
â________,â Loâak tries again.Â
You stare up at him, the shadow of the fire dancing over your features as you seemingly look right through him. Itâs humiliating, the way you remain seated and watch him fidget, but he figures he deserves the cold shoulder after months, years of casting you to the side.Â
âLetâs go?â you ask the girl, nodding your head over your shoulder.Â
The girl chances a glance between you and Loâak, noticing the telltale sign of your work etched into the stones of the choker he hadnât taken off since his birthday.Â
She gives him a sympathetic smile as she follows after you.Â
Heâs going to have to try a lot harder than he has, he realizes as your birthday looms right around the corner. The next eclipse, in fact.Â
Heâs losing hope, losing courage, but he canât give up on you two just yet.Â
He makes sure the berries he picked the days prior are packed tightly in his bag, the lid to the nectar fastened, and his present wrapped nicely.Â
Itâs his last hope, his last shot to make things right.Â
Spider, Tuk, and Neytiri surround him, Neteyam and Jake off on a hunt.Â
Theyâd all been privy to the fact, aiding him in his endeavors as he organized his final grapple with your heart.Â
âKiri said sheâll bring her right before eclipse,â Spider says, peeking from the flap of the tent. âThatâs in, like, minutes.âÂ
Loâak is nervous. Doesnât know what heâll do if he loses you for good, but he knows he has to give it his best effort. Itâs the least you deserve.Â
Be brave. Sometimes that is enough.Â
Loâak glances at his mom and she gives him a warm smile, ruffling his braids.Â
âYou are the son of Toruk Makto,â she assures him, pinching his cheek. âThere is nothing you cannot do.âÂ
The words are carved into his brain as he rushes through the forest, the the stream that the curls and bends through the forest. It glows beautifully at night and that is his final push.Â
âWait, give me like three seconds, I left something.â Kiriâs voice is muffled behind the trees.Â
âHuh?â Loâak sees the way your head tilts through an opening in the foliage.Â
âIâll only be a second!âÂ
âWait, Kiri!âÂ
Kiri is running straight for him, comes barreling through the bushes, and continues down the path.Â
âGood luck, egghead!â
Loâak takes in a final breath to quell the tremor in his hands before ducking through the bushes to reveal himself.Â
Youâre sitting on the embankment, on a woven mat that Kiri had laid out for you two, decorative vines edging the seams.Â
âOh, you wereââ
You peer over your shoulder and your expression falls.Â
âLoâakâŚâÂ
âHappy birthday, ________,â he breathes.Â
You donât look amused, slinging your bag over you shoulder as you rise to your feet.Â
âKiri and I are hanging out,â you tell him.Â
He scratches the back of his head.Â
âIâŚI had Kiri bring you here because I knew that you wouldnât come with me if I asked,â he admits. âAnd of course, I donât blame you, but Iâ I just really need to talk to you.âÂ
You bite the inside of your cheek, unable to look him in his eyes as he draws nearer.Â
âJust give me some time, please,â he pleads.Â
You finally meet his gaze, searching his eyes as he looks down at you earnestly.Â
You give him the tiniest nod, reluctantly shedding your satchel to reassume your seat on the mat.Â
The waters rush gently, like a song as Loâak lowers himself next to you.
His palms are clammy as he fidgets in his seat, the scent of herbs and flowers wafting from your dewy skin. He canât bring himself to look at you, afraid that every sentiment heâd crafted in the hours of the night will escape him, so he watches the bubbling of the stream.Â
âWell?â you whisper, like you donât want to shatter the fragile sheath of peace that layers you.Â
âIâm sorry,â he says quietly. âI know Iâve said it already, but I really am, ________.âÂ
âI know,â you murmur and his gaze flits to yours. âEven if you donât act like it, you have a good heart, Loâak. You feel everything, even the things you donât want to.âÂ
He swallows.
âI didnât mean it,â he says carefully. âI was mad and I took it out on you. That wasnât fair.âÂ
You sit silently, knees hugged to your chest. Your cheek rests against your knee, watching Loâak with seeing eyes. It makes him trip over his words.Â
âMy whole life, Iâve always been compared to Neteyam,â he says. âThe entire village would whisper about me and how I was nothing like the mighty warrior.âÂ
When he glances at you, he notices your fingers twitch, like you want to reach out to him.Â
He squashes his fears and turns to face you, five-fingered hand coming up to thread with your four. You watch the union, uncertainty obvious in the way you tense, but Loâak squeezes.Â
âAnd then when we started growing up, you were just another person I had to live up to,â Loâak whispers. âYouâre perfect, ________. Youâre kind, and youâre smart, talented. Youâre everything Iâm not and it made me hate you.âÂ
You shrink, but Loâak pulls you towards him, hand coming up to brush your cheek.Â
âBut youâre all of that and more,â he continues, the words gushing like a river. âYouâre always there, you support me and you defend me and see things I donât.âÂ
You become shy under his gaze because for the first time, heâs seeing you. Heâs seeing you for every single thing youâve been to him and it makes your stomach knot.Â
âI have something to tell you,â he says. âPlease donât be mad at me.âÂ
Your gaze is soft, palm still in his as he turns and reaches into the bag he discarded next to him. Your eyes widen when he produces your notebook, edges curled the slightest as he hands it to you.Â
âMy journal,â you say, taking it from him quickly. âIâve been looking for this. Why- Why do you have it?âÂ
He looks guilty, lips rolling as he avoids your gaze.Â
âDid youâŚâÂ
âI wasnât going to,â he admits. âBut there were woodsprites and I knew it was a sââ
âLoâak this is private,â you murmur incredulously. âWhy would you read this?âÂ
âHow long, ________?â he asks quietly, grip on your hand tightening.Â
âLoâak, donâtââ
âHow long?â he presses desperately.Â
Your eyes are watering, like that wicked night all over again and Loâak begs Eywa for the final push.Â
âSince we were ten,â you whisper brokenly. âIt was my first performance and it was so stupid, but I was throwing up because I was nervous and you talked me through it.âÂ
Loâak is stunned, the memory like the faintest of outlines.Â
âWe didnât even know each other that well,â you hiccup. âBut you patted me on the back and you gave me thisââ
You pull your fingers from his grasp and flip the journal to the last page, revealing a hidden pocket. Your nimble fingers pull a tattered string, the remnants of a vine, threaded with wilted flower petals, preserved from being pressed inside your notebook.
âYou said that they made you make it during lessons,â you say, breath hitching. âThat itâd be my good luck.âÂ
Heâd forgotten all about the memory completely, too caught up in driving whatever wedge he could between you two, building up walls to seal you out.Â
âAnd you kept it this whole time?â he asks, face scrunched in disbelief.Â
âIâd hold on to anything you give me,â you admit in defeat. âHeartbreak included.âÂ
He lets out a shaky breath.Â
â________, Iâm so sorry,â he repeats, hand coming up to your neck. âYou have to know that. Iâm really fucking stupid, but if you give us a shot, I wonât mess it up.âÂ
Your hand comes up to his wrist, crumpling as you bow your head.Â
âDonât do this to me,â you beg, moving to break away from him.Â
âPlease.âÂ
His hold tightens, other hand twining with yours.Â
âIf IâŚif I give myself to you, Iâm giving you everything,â you say hesitantly. âIf you break this, you break me. I donât think I can come back from this.âÂ
Loâak presses his forehead to yours, breath warm against your lips as he searches your gaze for any semblance of hope.Â
âThis is me being fearless, ________,â he whispers.Â
You melt, pressing your lips to his tentatively. Heâs frozen for the shortest of moments before relenting, pushing up onto his knees to deepen the kiss.Â
Heâs cradling your face and your hands are wandering and Loâak canât help but think he could get used to loving you.Â
To being loved by you.Â
BONUS
âI was gonna give it to you on your birthday,â Loâak says sheepishly a few nights later under the stars. âBut, you knowâŚâÂ
Your usual place among the branches of the looming trees have a lot of memories both bitter and sweet, but you suppose you could make new ones.Â
âYou donât have to give me anything,â you say sweetly, tail swishing to wrap around his ankle. âYouâre all I need.âÂ
Loâak doesnât think heâll ever get used to your saccharine words if the pounding in his chest is anything to go by.Â
His hands are shaky as he pushes the hide towards you, a bow made of vine tied neatly around the gift.Â
âWanted to,â he says simply, moving the hair from you face to see your reaction better. âOpen it.âÂ
Youâre gentle with the present, like you are with most things, but eager to see what heâd gotten you.Â
A tiny gasp falls from your lips when you finally see it, wide eyes meeting his as you free the jars of paints heâd mashed up, the brushes he fashioned, and the brand new journal he bound himself.Â
âLoâak, wowâŚâÂ
âSo you can paint me more,â he says, then adds timidly. âOr maybe us. Maybe you could paint us.âÂ
an â holy shit guys, this was such a big project for me because i really wanted to dive into so many different things in this fic. to everyone who was waiting patiently, thank you sososo much. as usual, i took a lot of creative liberties with this one, but i hope you guys enjoyed nonetheless! although requests are paused for me to catch up, like always, if you wanna chat with me about literally anything, my askbox is open. lots of love hehehe :) xx
PRETEND LOVERS â§.* | CHAPTER TWO (FINAL) â âtell me you want meâ
âsometimes two people need to fall apart to realize how much they need to fall back togetherâ
genre: hurt | comfort | 16+
pairings: neteyam x omatikaya!reader
content warning: implied sexual content, makeout session, characters aged up to 20, mentions of jealous!neteyam and aoânung x reader, love triangle, one-sided love, aoânung best boy; bro deserves better fr (come my way bb), tsireya being tsireya (the loml), unrequited to requited love trope
synopsis; âÂ
now residing in the metkayina clan with the sullys, your duty as neteyamâs mate to become future clan leaders was now meaningless. you and neteyam had no beneficial reason to be together anymore. as neteyamâs responsibilities were thrown off his shoulders, he was instead tasked with looking after you and his siblings. with so much free time on his hands, he found himself growing back into his old, carefree self, and with so much of his days spent around you, he couldnât help but notice you in a different light. however, as you grew closer to the chiefâs son, aoânung, sharing unspoken feelings you dared not tell anyone else, neteyam couldnât help but worry that he was truly losing you for good. only now realizing his feelings for you that he peviously had pushed aside, did he truly realize what he was losing.
itâs been two nights since neteyam broke the news to you. two whole nights since you shared the pain of leaving your clan behind with him.
there was nothing but silence as you sat in each otherâs presence, packing your belongings.
despite feeling conflicted on whether or not you should bring up the topic of breaking the betrothal for good, you chose to wait until after you settled into the new clan.
neteyam needed your support, just as much as you needed him. there was too much going on for you to tell him, he was already carrying so much baggage without it.
everything he had known since he was young, everything he worked for, spent his life trying to fulfill, was all for nothing. even the pain and hurt he caused you from his senseless actions was a waste.
jake had now stepped down from his role, passing the title of olo'eyktan to your father, and as the ceremony took place, you couldnât help but let out a few quiet sobs.
the following day was spent saying your last goodbyes to your parents and the clan, before you and the sullys had set out to take refuge with the metkayina clan.
â
the trip was long and exhausting, but as you flew over the vast ocean archipelago, you couldnât feel any more relieved.
when you arrived at the shallow reefs, you were welcomed by resounding horns, alerting the clan of your presence.Â
incandescent rays of amaranthine sunlight streamed down onto you.
as you stumbled relentlessly behind tuk, loâak and kiri through serene territory, you couldnât help but revel at the sight of the clanâs ocean being completely encompassed by crystalline reefs.
everything was so different, so refreshing. it assured the strange sense of curiosity stirring within you.Â
as more metkayina members circled around you and the sully family, you couldnât help but feel the brush of a slender tail, making a slight pull at your leg.
you shifted your head up, positioning yourself slightly backwards, only to be met with neteyam staring down from above, directly back at you.
why on eywa was he so close?!Â
taken aback, all you could do was pray that he couldnât perceive how flustered you were. frustration at your own emotions seeped in, as you remembered that you were supposed to be moving on.
âi thought i was done feeling like this.â you cursed.
you quickly refocused your attention on the pair of boys eyeing you and the siblings conscientiously.Â
the shorter boy had kind eyes, courteously waving at you before fixing his smitten gaze upon kiri. as you looked over to her in amusement, all she could do was roll her eyes.
however, the otherâs gaze felt cold. the way he towered over you, kiri and loâak had you holding your breath.
you swore he was even taller than neteyam.
despite the unwelcoming tension, you and the siblings all greeted them, nonetheless.
patiently waiting for the arrival of the olo'eyktan and tsahĂŹk, you watched as a young woman surfaced from the shallow waters, accompanying the two boys.
when she turned to wave to you and the siblings with such a kind, welcoming smile, you swore you had just encountered an ocean princess. and as you looked over your shoulder, it was clear loâak had the exact same thought in mind.
belatedly, the two leaders had arrived.
as tonowari and ronal exchanged with neytiri and jake, you could tell they were wary of you and the sullys.
as ronal circled her way behind you and tuk, you couldnât help but feel small in her presence. she was quite handsy, too, grabbing onto kiriâs tail and loâakâs fingers.
however they were able to come to a unanimous decision to let you and the sullys stay. as ronal gave tonowari her word, he cleared his throat and voiced his orders.
âtreat the sullys as our own. my son aoânung and my daughter tsireya, along with their friend rotxo will teach your children our ways. learn fast, adapt well.â
and with that, you were directed to your a marui pod, your new home with the sullys.
as aoânung helped drop off the last of you and the familyâs belongings, tsireya spoke.
âwe will commence training this afternoon, meet us at the beachâs shorelines when the sun is at its highest peak!â
as soon as they left, jake called everyone in for a brief family meeting.
âalright, i want all of you guys to be on your best behavior. the people were kind enough to let us stay, so donât go around causing trouble, especially you, boy.â he sternly said as he glared at loâak, resulting in an offended scoff.
as each family member got up and left to do their own thing, tuk had begged you and neteyam to take her to the beach.
ây/n! please come with us! let me braid seashells into your hair!â tuk whined.
as you were about to let her down, neteyam tugged at your arm with a quick, playful smile.
you hadnât seen neteyam so casual with you in ages.
despite trying to keep a distance from him, you couldnât help but feel an uncontrollable smile tugging at your lips. you sighed defeatingly, how were you to say no?
âi suppose i have no choice, tuk-tuk.â you grinned, as she grabbed your hand and pulled you onto the warm sand, neteyam following behind shortly.
â
an hour or two had gone by with you relishing in the bright rays of sun alongside neteyam, enjoying the silence as tuk playfully splashed around in the water.Â
although you shared this stilled moment, your mind was clouded with figuring out how to tell him that you wanted to break the betrothal for good.
on the other hand, all neteyam could think of was making it up to you.
you thought if you broke the news to him before any more interactions between the two of you arised, itâd hurt less in the long-run.
you could tell he was trying to silently turn things back to normal, however you wouldnât accept it unless he proves to you that he deserves a second chance.
how ironic it was for you to now be putting the distance between your relationship.
as you completely turned your body towards him, he almost instantly shifted himself to meet your gaze.
âhey neteyam? thereâs been something on my mind that i wanted to telââ
ââlooks like almost everyoneâs here, huh?â
your moment was short-lived as loâak, kiri, tsireya and rotxo made their way to you.
âaoânung will join us shortly. letâs begin, shall we?â tsireya cheered.
â
situating yourselves into a circle, you were quick to sit beside tuk, leaving a large gap between you and neteyam.
"donât get carried away, y/n." you thought to yourself.
you needed to move on.
he frowned as he watched you yet again shut him out. but as his gaze wandered, staring a little bit longer than he shouldâve at your figure, all he could think to himself was,
had you always looked so alluring?
now that he finally had the time to be around you as young adults, only now had he realized how his dearest friend had matured and grown into their features.
if he had spent more time with you during your relationship before, would he have noticed you in this same light sooner?
but now, he realized he wasnât the only one who noticed your grace.
as tsireya went over the underwater sign language, aoânung shortly made his way to the group.
eyeing the vacant spot next to rotxo and tsireya, he instead chose to be directly opposite from them.
right between you and neteyam.
to say neteyam wasnât bothered would be a blatant lie.
as aoânung seated himself comfortably, all you could do was stare at how different his features were from yours, an action that did not go unnoticed.
he was quick to send a teasing whack at your back, causing a quiet yelp from you, and a cheeky grin from him.
âfocus, forest girlâ he grinned.
scoffing, you lifted yourself from your seat as the group was about to begin swimming.
â
out of all the sullys, you and kiri had adapted to the water the fastest, breaking off from the group to go explore. it came naturally, you were always endowed with your skills being versatile.
as neteyam, loâak and tuk attempted to keep up with the main group, the few missing members were soon noticed.
rotxo was quick to point out kiriâs disappearance, eventually swimming away to find her, whereas tsireya was quick to reassure neteyam that youâd be fine, as aoânung had shortly followed after you.
as you went deeper into the water, a large marine creature flew by you. as your eyes lit up, you swam back to the surface to greet it.
as you contently petted the creatureâs neck, aoânung made his way towards you.
âwe call them ilus, i will teach you how to ride them.âÂ
you turned back to the creature, curiously.
âtheyâre beautiful, and huge too!â you laughed, as itâs large body pulled you around.
âwait till you see our tulkun. then you may act amazedâ he smiled.
â
making your ways back to the group, you all watched tsireya as she seated tuk onto a baby ilu.
âif you want to live here, you have to ride.â aoânung gestured.
as everyone adjusted themselves onto their ilus, you were having trouble getting over the tall curve of its back.
âhere, allow me.â a low voice from behind you advised.
as you hoisted yourself up, you found aoânungâs hands wrapped around your lower waist to further lift you onto its back.
his hands were so big, that his single palm was able to cup your lower stomach, almost completely.
you swore you wouldâve felt butterflies if it wasnât for the feeling of a heavy gaze scorching your back.
although neteyam had no right to feel the way he was feeling now, he knew there was no use fighting it.
âyouâre ogling at y/n again.â loâak sighs.
âiâm not.â neteyam replies defensively. âsimply gazed over their direction by accident.â
âthen why was that look on your face?â loâak snickered.
neteyam scoffs, âwhat look?â
âyouâve always looked a certain way when you see y/n.â kiri informs, âitâs like you're staring at a galaxy of stars.â
neteyam paused. had he always looked at you this way before?
âand?â
kiri turned away, reaching for tuk,
âyou love stars.â
â
in a flash, more than six months had gone by. your routine, had ultimately stayed the same. the only difference being that the more time had passed, the closer you and aoânung got.
you hadnât really befriended any men other than neteyam and loâak ever since you were promised. so aoânung's presence was like a breath of fresh air.
overtime, you and aoânung had formed a bond almost as close as yours and neteyam.
however youâd be lying if you said you didnât share more secrets about yourself to aoânung than him.
and despite your attempts to avoid neteyam, it seemed impossible to turn down the countless offers to explore the island with him after dawn. a wave of nostalgia hitting you every time.
oh how you so desperately missed being his best friend.
oftentimes than not, you would find yourself laying on the outskirts with him alone.
it was the way your bodies were a little too close for comfort, the way he looked you in the eyes a little too long to not have any feelings for you.
but you were scared of the possibility that his behavior was nothing more than to ease his guilty conscience.
his gradual effort to make it up to you became the only reason you had yet to tell him about your decision to finally break the betrothal. you had never felt so conflicted before.Â
unable to comprehend where your relationship stands with him, you built a wall between the two of you, to the point where you hadnât talked to him in over a week.
so in search of advice, you slip away to find aoânung on the beach as the sun went down.
â
âwhat is so special about that boy,â aoânung groaned, âit doesnât seem like he treated you right.â
âwhy donât you just give up on him and move on?â
âbecause,â you sighed,
âwhen you love someone that much, that deeply, you canât just âmove onâ.â
âthe truth is, i miss him. but iâd rather drink acid before i admit it to his face.â you laughed, trying to ease the tension.
âeverytime i see him, he brings back the feelings i so desperately try to forget.â
all aoânung could do was listen.
âand i can barely stand the silence between us, but that doesnât mean iâll be the first to speak. silence is the only language neteyam is fluent in, when all iâve wanted him to do was to talk.â
with that, aoânungâs brows contorted into frustration.
âbut he deceived you, he made you think he promised himself to you out of love. how could you forgive that?â
âi wasnât the only one who got hurt in the process. neteyam had suffered just as i had. i like to believe that if he hadnât been forced to put his duties above his own feelings, maybe something couldâve worked out.â
âhe is not a terrible person, aoânung. iâve realized he was simply lost trying to act as someone who he wasnât. we were only seventeen, how childish we were to try to live up to our parents by any means.âÂ
âin the pathetic entirety of it all, we were just friends that acted like lovers, two teenagers on the verge of growing up.â
âi just wish he could tell me he regretted it.â
you felt your voice going weak.
as if aoânung could sense how upset you were, he quickly pulled you into an embrace, rubbing small circles on the dimples of your back as he comforted you.
âhe does realize what heâs lost, believe me y/n. but he doesnât deserve something he was too blind to notice.â
you nodded silently, unable to form any response.
âbut you know, if youâd let meâ i could make things right.â
you smiled weakly as you shook your head, you could feel his disappointment.
âi donât deserve you, aoânung.â you whispered.
âi really donât. you are very dear to me, but i cannot let my burdens tarnish someone by the likes of you.â you assured him, his grip tightening around your bare waist.
âyou are too pure and sweet to love me, as i fear. i have already fallen in love with him.â
and with those last words, aoânung let go of you and your embrace. staring into your eyes as if he was on the verge of death, the expression clouding his face was disappointment.
the only thing he could do was ask you now for the painful truth.
âwhat does he have that i donât?â
after a long pause, you finally mustered up the courage to let him down.
âyou are wonderful, but you are not him. your eyes are beautiful, but his gaze is so warm and intense, that i was sure he could read my thoughts. everything i feltâ everything i thought about him, written on my pupils whenever we made eye contact. every little thing in my life has always led me back to him. and itâs terrible, but everytime i look at you, i miss him.â
as aoânung took the time to accept what was just said, all he could do was look at the ocean as the moonlight glistened above the two of you.
âso iâve never had a chance to begin with?â he smiled, a hint of sadness in his eyes.
all you could do was smile and shake your head, spending the rest of your time with him basking together in silence.
â
meanwhile, as you were spilling your deepest emotions to aoânung, neteyam was back at the marui pod, with kiri and loâak.
âitâs past eclipse, what in eywaâs name could y/n be out still doing?â he groaned, agitated.
a week had already had gone by with you avoiding him once again, and now he was at his limit.
with kiri and loâak constantly pointing out his yearning behavior for you throughout the years, unbeknownst to him, your growing relationship with aoânung had him frustrated.
to say he was jealous would be an understatement.
he had finally grown to realize how much he missed out on in your relationship during the past three and a half years.
you were an unexpected feeling to him. like a collision of stars that crashed into his waking conscience and sent his closed-off bubble that he blocked you out of, plummeting into the ocean.
he never realized he felt this strongly about you before. but it's you. it's always been you. and now thereâs no looking back.
he hadnât been able to appreciate you sooner, and he sure as hell wasnât going to lose you now,Â
not when he finally sees you.
neteyam had fallen for you before he even realized it.
you and neteyamâs week long silence hadnât gone unnoticed, either. both kiri and loâak had finally decided to confront him about it.
âyou really should go, y/n went in search of aoânung.â kiri sighed, watching as frustration pitted his countenance.
âbro, you two are the absolute worst in communication. me and tsireya neveâ ack!â
before loâak could continue his bantering, kiri was quick to pinch his bicep.
âyou are troubled, neteyam. talk to us.â
with a loud sigh, neteyam poured his feelings out.
"i didnât want to face how y/n made me feel, but here i am, sulking in my feelings.â
âi am scared, kiri. iâm afraid y/nâs moved on, and that iâve lost them for good..â
with his silent confession, all kiri could do was groan in agony.
âdo you not see it?â loâak nearly yells.
âsee what?â he asks, barely making his voice audible.
âthe difference between you and aoânung.â
âit is him y/n looks at with comfort and warmth, but the way y/n looks at youâŚâ kiri smiles,
âitâs like their whole world is made up of your entire being.â
neteyam was silent. he didnât know what to do.
âitâs hard to wait around for something you know might never happen, but itâs even harder to give up now, after so long, when you realize itâs everything you want.â
with kiriâs final words, neteyam storms out of the pod, onto the beach in search of you.
kiri and loâak couldnât help but smile as they watched their elder brother finally make the right decision for once.
â
as you continued to watch the ocean waves rise to the shore, your silent exchange with aoânung was later interrupted by the approaching noise of heavy strides.
in one swift motion, neteyam had lifted you onto your feet, dragging you to a vacant marui pod by the hand.
as you turned back to face aoânung still on the beach, you noted how he had no intention of interrupting the two of you, giving you a departing smile as neteyam pulled you into the room.
shutting the pod, his eyes locked onto yours. his half-lidded gaze and heavy breathing forced you to look away, once again unable to find the words to say to him after avoiding him for so long.
but your head was lifted as quickly as it lowered, his slender fingers cupping the sides of your face.
âplease, just look at me.â
your eyes met, and suddenly you forgot how to breathe.Â
just looking at him was enough to make your throat well up.
after a long moment of silence, neteyam had finally figured out the words he wanted to convey.
âi never thought iâd be this upset over you and aoânung, you know.â
âthe thought of him pulling your attention away from me, kills me,â he admitted.
lowering his head so that his mouth was directly at your ear, he ghostly whispered,
âwhat i have with you, i donât want you having that with anyone else, especially not him.â
at a loss for words, you had never felt so weak before. his words melted your ears like slime.
the distance between your bodies was slowly getting smaller and smaller.
he was so, so close, too close.
you could feel his warm breath tickle the left side of your cheek as he leaned over your figure.
âi know that i disappointed you, that i never know what i truly want before i act upon it, but eywa y/n, you may be the only thing in my life that iâm certain has always been there, that felt right.â
âwe were young, we dishonored ourselves just to please others.â you sighed into his neck, his fingers tracing shapes in the grooves of your lower back.
âbut you know.. i told myself i wouldnât forgive you until you proved to me you cared..â you murmured.
he was quick to cup your face back into his hands, a thumb circling your cheek.
his touch felt as if stars were dancing across your skin. you prayed to eywa he couldnât hear how loud your heart was beating out of your chest.
âdo you think i care about anything now but you?â
with his blunt confessions, you couldnât help but feel a smile growing across your face.
âi donât care how complicated it gets, i donât want us to be strangers again.â he expressed.
as one of his hands snaked down to your hips, rubbing at the plush your thigh, his other hand supported his weight over the side of your head, pressing you against the wall.
you wanted to stay in this moment with him for eternity.
but it was getting dark, far past eclipse, and you were worried his family would come searching for the two of you.
it was times like these, in which neteyam would silently pray to eywa that his siblings would have enough brain to cover for him.
leaning your forehead against his, you sighed against his lips.
âneteyam, we must head backâ you whined, unable to muster up anything else as you he pressed himself against you.
âwe could stay,â he whispered into your mouth.
and as he leaned in, you didnât back away.
with his mouth slowly closed over yours, you let out a quiet moan. it was soft, like his lips were molded to fit yours.Â
he whimpered at the taste of your mouth, certain he would get addicted if he didnât stop now.
everything about you was soft. your curves that pressed against his chest, your legs intertwined with his, your skin under his hands as he explored your body, groaning into the kiss.
losing yourself in neteyam, you had yearned for a moment like this for so long.Â
breaking apart for air, you gasped as you felt his mouth travel lower, all over you.
âwe should go,â you whined.
âwe should definitely go.â
âyeah? go whereâ here?â his mouth moved to your shoulder.
âor here?â traveling up to your neck.
you swore the way he was handling you had you seeing stars.
basking in each otherâs bodies, you had finally found resolve.
maybe staying promised to him wouldnât be so bad after all.
authorâs note; âÂ
thisâll be the final chapter of pretend lovers !! itâs extra long since it was supposed to be split into two chapters, but i felt as though the story flowed better as one ^^
i probably wonât do an aoânung alternative!ending, since itâd be pretty short and rushed, but thank u so much for reading this quick series !!! expect some more to come in the near future (please add some ideas in my asks iâve lost all inspo sfjsdfosdfo)
tbh there was actually gonna be no happy ending and like a reeeaallly big n heavy angsty argument between neteyam and reader when reader tries to end everything between them for good,,, but i feel like it didnt fit the unrequited to requited love trope enough
like the type of shit thats supposed to make u tear up while writing it LMAOOO
summary: ao'nung and sully!reader have been in a secret relationship for a while, sneaking out late at night to see each other. when her siblings start to suspect something is going on between them, they put their sister in a little embarrassing situation. see the request here!
genre(s): humor ig, a lil bit of fluff
warnings: just siblings being nosy as always :p protective big bro teyam, lo'ak is really goofy in this, also reader is his twin bc why not
when you first met ao'nung, you hated him. he was constantly bothering you and your siblings and getting you into trouble. but as the months passed, the metkayina was slowly becoming more and more tolerable; wich eventually led to you becoming friends, and later on, something more.
exchanging meaningful looks that only you and him seemed to notice, smiles between conversations and slight touches in front of your friends soon became something common between the two teenagers. but of course people were gonna find out sooner or later.
the first one to notice was you older brother, neteyam. at first the boy thought he was just imagining things â there was no way his baby sister was getting involved with him, out of all people. even if ao'nung has changed his manners towards your family, the omaticaya couldn't seem to let the grudge go.
then, lo'ak used to wake up in the middle of the night to you silently sneaking away to eywa-knows-where and staying until dawn, returning before your parents woke up. he didn't care at first, but when your escapades became more and more frequent, he knew something was up.
"shes gotta be with him, bro. there's no way this is a coincidence! we have to do something." your twin has been annoying neteyam all morning with this since he mentioned that you and ao'nung seemed closer than normal, remembering lo'ak of your outings in the dead of night. soon they realized: their sister was in a relationship.
"what do you me want to do? this is none of our business, lo'ak. she'll tell us when she's ready."
"come on. stop pretending you're not dying to know if they're really dating!" he smiled mid sentence. the thought of you getting a partner before him and neteyam was really funny to lo'ak. "i can see it in your eyes! you're jealous!"
"fine. we'll follow her next time to see if she's really meeting him. and for the record, i'm not jealous. just worried."
and then, they waited. lo'ak kept himself awake until late at night, pretending to be asleep, to see if you were going to leave â he was really invested in this. but for a few days, you stayed in the family's house. it was almost like you were suspecting them. but of course your brothers weren't going to give up so easily: loâak was always so nosy when it came to your personal life, and even though neteyam wouldn't admit, he really wanted to know if you really were dating, maybe even more than your twin.
but one night, it happened. trying to be as quiet as possible, you get up and direct yourself to the entrance, sneaking out without anyone noticing â at least that's what you thought. but as soon as you closed the marui, lo'ak quickly sat down and woke up the older boy.
"bro. wake up. wake up! she's leaving." he said violently shaking neteyam, not even worrying with the volume of his voice.
"what the- be quiet! you will end up getting us all into trouble."
"sorry. let's follow her before she goes too far, let's go!"
meanwhile, you made your way to the rocks near the sea, your boyfriend already waiting for you; he always got out of home first so he didn't have to make you wait. arriving earlier than you expected, you couldn't shake this terrible feeling that you were being watched, making you walk faster than you normally do. the taller one noticed the change in your movements from far away and the worried expression on your face, pulling you closer to him once you got where he was.
ao'nung gave a gentle kiss on your lips before asking: "is everything ok, my love? you look bothered.â
you felt you heart melt with the nickname â he always knew how to make you flustered without even trying. that's what you loved the most about your boyfriend: he was always so caring and sweet with you, completely destroying the view you had from him months ago. hiding your face in the crook of his neck, you shake you head in response. there was no need to worry him with this, after all, you must've been imagining things. "are you sure? you seem pretty tense."
"i just have this odd feeling that i'm being watched. but it's nothing, really. my mind must be playing tricks on me."
he looked around for a moment before turning his attention back to you. "it must be. let's sit down?"
...
âthey just kissed! gross!â loâak said in a whisper. âimagine when dad finds out! he's gonna throw a tantrum. his precious little girl is finally dating!â
âshut up, skxawng. they're going to hear us. we need to get closer, i can barely see or hear anything.â
âoh? what did you say a few days ago again? âshe's going to tell us when she's ready! what do you want me to do?â you're such a bad liar, brother.â
giving loâak a playful smack on the shoulder, neteyam got a few steps closer to you, being careful to not be seen.
laying your head on his lap while he gently caressed your hair, you were telling aoânung everything about the forest and how you used to love ikran racing, going out with your sisters to collect different plants and fruits, climbing trees and and how beautiful the hallelujah montains were. but there was something your brothers couldn't see â the way he looked at you. like you were the most beautiful naâvi in pandora; aoânung was absolutely smitten with you, from the way you talked to the way you smiled. he surely was in love, his softer side reserved only for you.
he leaned in closer to your face to give you a peck on the lips. but a peck turned into two, and two turned into three. soon, you were passionately kissing under the moonlight, butterflies taking over your stomach.
âew. should we confront them? this is getting awkward. they're eating each other's faces.â
abruptly getting up, your older brother made his way to you without thinking twice. loâak far behind him, trying to contain the laughter that was begging to be let out. there was no way in hell he would let you forget this moment.
âhey! what do you think you're doing with my sister, fish lips?â
oh eywa.
âneteyam? loâak- what are you doing here?â you couldn't believe your eyes; did your brothers seriously follow you all this way here just to spy on you? âi can't believe this. i'm going to murder you! for how long have you been here?â
âlong enough to know there's something between you and fish lips! and you didn't even tell us, y/n⌠i thought we told each other everything. i'm hurt!â now loâak was just making fun of you. feeling your cheeks heat up you gave aoânung a quick âim sorryâ glance, wich he responded with an awkward smile.
âhey, pretty boy. i was talking to you. what are your intentions with her?â
âneteyam. no. you're not doing this right now! leave!â
everything was a chaos. you couldn't contain your frustration anymore, your brother asking a million questions to aoânung while you tried to make him stop, loâaks laugher echoing in the back of your mind. âstop! stop, all of you!â
the raise of your voice was unexpected, the boys getting quiet all at once. âyou two. come with me. we're going home before we wake up the whole village. or even worse: our parents notice our absence. wait for me right there.â you said pointing to the place they were before.
âyou don't-"
âneteyam. now. you don't want us to get in trouble, do you?â he grumbled something you didn't quite catch and left, pulling a very entertained loâak by the arm.
you lowered your voice just in case they could hear you. âbaby⌠i'm sorry about them. eywa, i can't decide if i want to kill myself or those two!â
âit's fine. your family was always a little crazy. i guess you took after them.â
âwhat? i'm the most normal one there!â you laughed. at least he wasn't mad about this. giving him a quick kiss on the cheek, you left. âiâll see you when the sun rises i guess.â
âsee you later.â
now your attention was aimed towards the two idiots that you called your brothers. getting closer to them with each step you took, your anger only got bigger. âwhat is wrong with you guys? spying on me, embarrassing me in front of my boyfriend, sneaking out! if dad finds out we're dead! all of us!â
âso you admit that he is your boyfriend!â you gave loâak a flick on the head. âskxawng. i could kill you both right now!â
the walk back home was silent for the most part â you were fuming with anger. only when you were getting closer to home, neteyam broke the ice:
âi don't like him.â
âgood thing i'm the one dating him, not you.â
silence again.
âguys.â you turned your head to loâak. âi'm y/nâs twin. do you think he's attracted to me too? since we have the same face and all.â you wanted to smack away the mischievous smile on his face.
âthat's gross. please don't ever say this again!â now you couldn't help but laugh. how could he be such an idiot?
of course you couldn't be mad at them forever â they might be nosy and annoying, but you were still family. and the sullys always stick together.
authors note: ok so this is not ao'nung centered at all oops! i don't know if i managed to do exactly what the anon asked but i swear i tried my best with this one... also him and lo'ak are a pain in the ass to write.
the lowdown â the one where you and neteyam are a sure thing.Â
the who â neteyam x fem omatikaya!reader
the word count â 2.5k
the tags & warnings â none other than possible language! this is just really sappy & self-indulgent lmao, childhood bffs2l, both parties are so in love but SCARED.
the notes â based off of this request! got a lil carried away bc i love neteyam <3
masterlist
Everyone would argue that you and Neteyam are written in the stars.Â
You two had been whispered about far before your coming of age, at the start of your youth when theyâd notice that Neteyam was extra soft and you were extra shy. And it had been natural, really. He was the oloâeyktanâs son, and you were the sweet daughter of the oloâeyktanâs most cherished friend and dearest partner in crime.Â
At first Neteyam had vehemently denied it, cheeks flushing at the mere mention of your name, but after many sweet moments, youâd grown so much on him, he couldnât hide his fondness even if he tried.Â
You were charming and resolved growing up, often times spending afternoons reading under the shade of leafy plants near the edge of the village. Itâs the same spot Neteyam would pass on his journeys into the forest, unable to contain his smile as he sees the faint indent of where youâd lay outlined in the grass.Â
You were an eager learner, going through lab materials and borrowed media from Norm and Max whoâd visit the village every once in a while. Youâd applied a lot of what you learned to your practice, training under Moâat, Neytiri, and your mother in the chance that one day youâd lead the clan in their spiritual endeavors.Â
It was one of the things that Neteyam admired most about you, your quiet drive. Your passion and your commitment to your craft. He couldnât help it, couldnât help but feed into it, into you.Â
Heâd hound the scientists in the lab for more content for you, would come back with stacks and stacks of books that would make your cheeks warm. And heâd hand bind you journals, fashion you utensils and smash various fruits and petals to a fine paste for you to compile your findings.Â
There wasnât a thing that Neteyam wouldnât do for you, any lengths he wouldnât travel just to see you beam up at him with that radiant smile. Neteyam could admit wholeheartedly that he was whipped.Â
âThanks, Teyam,â youâd say gently, arms winding around his waist in a crushing hug. âAppreciate you.âÂ
His breath would hitch and heâd just grin.Â
It didnât help that you were so achingly beautiful, made his throat bob every time a gleam of sun would refract over your dimpled cheeks. Made his cheeks warm and his body freeze when your skin, soft and smooth, would brush his in accidental touches.Â
There was only one small little issue.Â
It was a conversation heâd try and fail to have with you multiple times over the course of your adolescence and into your young adulthood. At first, it was unspoken, he was certain it was the two of you for life, but as you trained and passed your rite, the final piece to your coming of age was fast approaching; selecting someone to spend your time with.Â
He was a year your senior and the rumor mill was alight with buzz. He hadnât chosen someone on the night of his feast, had suspended the selection in favor of urging everyone that the timing wasnât right.Â
This didnât deter a number of fine women from the village taking their chances, advance after gutsy advance that would always end with the sound declaration that he was already waiting for someone.Â
That had only solidified the villageâs theory about the two of you, that he was holding out for you, waiting until you chose him right back to claim you as his own. It was a sweet thing, most of them felt, would cast tender looks every time the two of you would interact under their watchful gazes.Â
But you were a creature of habit, didnât like being under such prying eyes, yet too nice to let it be known. Neteyam knew, though. Would steer clear of curious glances, would spend whatever free time he had soaking up every moment with you in the shield of the forest.Â
He was a strong man with only one weakness: you.Â
Heâd thought he made himself clear with that, thought that everyone knew that you were spoken for and it was his mighty word, but he comes to find out that there are many young men whoâve been lingering, waiting for any opportunity.Â
This much he notices when an especially buff warrior with a narrow waist and broad shoulders emerges from the outskirts and starts hanging around a little more often.Â
Kuâaro, Neteyam thinks his name is.Â
It had started off innocent, a small thanks for a healing session Moâat and your mother let you lead when he hurt himself in a hunting party, but Neteyam knew better than to think that no other man would succumb to your charms.Â
It continued with bundles of flowers, fruits, little trinkets Kuâaro would surprise you with when Neteyam had other responsibilities he had to tend to. And it wouldnât have bothered him as much if heâd never seen the little gifts again, but youâre too sweet for your own good, displaying them on the same ledge in your tent.
They take up room next to every one of his thoughtful gestures and the thought of sharing your attention with another man makes him prickle with envy.Â
But he could live with it if it made you happy, could push aside his pride and keep his irritation mum if the gift-giving was all it was. But now Kuâaro is starting to chisel into his time with you, stealing you away for walks through the forest, swims in the river.Â
And it makes him absolutely seethe, makes him exceptionally angry every time you emerge from the brush with Kuâaro hot on your heels. His mind races and he canât help the sick thought of you being with someone who isnât him seep into every crevice of his brain.Â
Had you two everâŚkissed? You werenât the type of girl, but things change and heâs not above admitting that heâs as jealous as they come.Â
âSomething wrong, Teyam?â you ask, looking up from your book.Â
Heâs sighed for the fourth time in the hour, fidgeting so uncomfortably that youâve been rereading the same sentence for the past ten minutes because you canât concentrate.Â
His tense shoulders relax when he meets your viscous gaze, lips parting because the forest is darkening with the impending eclipse and you look so soft and glowy.Â
He clears his throat.Â
âNo,â he coughs. âAll good.âÂ
You donât seem to buy it, head tilting as you inspect your friend carefully, book dog-eared and set off to the side as you shuffle nearer.Â
The aroma of herbs and spice, the tang of petals, surrounds him as you press a hand to his forehead, the other to his chest.Â
You have to feel it, the way his heart is pounding audaciously.Â
âYour heartâs beating fast, Teyam,â you observe. âAnd youâre warm.âÂ
âSâjust a little hot,â he swallows, hands circling your wrists to pry your touch away.Â
You lean back on your haunches, still in his grasp as you peer up at his pinched expression.Â
In all your years of closely orbiting the oloâeyktanâs son, you know that something weighs heavy on his mind. He bears a great burden regardless, but something is different this time around.Â
âWeâre friends, Teyam,â you say tenderly. He could literally melt. âYou know you can tell me anything, right?âÂ
Of course he could, youâre the most understanding person he knows, the purest of hearts. But he doesnât want to spook you, scare you into resignation by interrogating your budding relationship with Kuâaro.Â
So he treads carefully.Â
âYour selection feast is approaching,â he says breathily, blinking down at you.Â
You mull over it for a moment, a smile spreading over your full lips.Â
âIt is,â you agree, pulling away to toy with your fingers.
A few prolonged lapses of silence pass before Neteyam continues to try and fill in the gaps.Â
âHave youâŚâ He shrugs. ââŚthought of someone yet?âÂ
Of course you had, youâd know it from the very beginning, no second thoughts needed. It had always been you and Neteyam since the beginning, thick as thieves.Â
There have been many things youâve been uncertain of growing up, but thereâs one thing that youâre sure of, and itâs that Neteyam is your end game.Â
âI have,â you hum simply.Â
He waits with bated breath, eyes unblinking.Â
You donât continue and heâs opening his mouth to ask you to clarify, but the brush starts rustling and Kuâaroâs emerging.Â
He wants to let out the most frustrated groan of disapproval when Kuâaroâs eyes light up. Wants to grill you more but knows that heâll have to wait who knows how long before he can get you alone to press again.Â
But what he doesnât know is that the looming feast is your grand gesture, the occasion youâve been mustering your courage for for years. You like to think itâs the least he deserves after years of his blatant displays of affection.Â
âWanna go for a walk?â Kuâaro asks, holding up a woven bag of what smells like spartan fruits.Â
Your eyes flit to Neteyamâs and he can see the promise that lingers there as your hands squeezes his gently.Â
âSee you soon,â you say, collecting your things before standing to your feet.Â
He knows you mean it, knows that you never make a promise that you canât keep, but he canât help the feeling of dread that coils tight in the pit of his stomach.
Kuâaro stands a little too close as you two walk through the forest, eating the spartan fruits that heâd picked before he sought you out.Â
âI have to ask you something,â he says, after a pregnant pause.Â
You turn just in time for him to nearly barrel into you, strong hands coming to right your stance. You stomach knots when you notice heâs close, eyes gentle and glowing as he gazes down at you.Â
âYeah?â you peep, body tense as his fingers skim your biceps, down your forearms and clasp your hands.Â
Youâd held hands with Neteyam countless times, had spent so much time in his space, that the touch of another isnât lost on you, but this makes you feel queasy.Â
You ease away.Â
âI need to be courageous,â he says. âI know your selection feast is approaching andâŚâÂ
You know what heâs going to say. Youâve dreaded it this entire time, hoped that village gossip and the copious amounts of time youâd spend with Neteyam would be the glaringly obvious sign that you werenât interested in anything beyond a friendship.Â
âKuâaroâŚâ you sigh and his face falls a fraction.Â
Heâs already pieced it together in his head.Â
âIt really is him, huh?âÂ
Heâd known. Of course he did. No one was blind to it, just wishful thinking on his part that maybe he could get you to see someone else.Â
But your heart was locked up tight, an impenetrable fortress that refused to unravel for anyone but him.Â
âIâm sorry,â you say apologetically, then add, âyou have been very kind to me, and a woman will see your great heart one day, but it canât be me.âÂ
His smile is sad, but heâs known it was a losing battle going in, worth a shot if anything.
His shoulders shake with a defeated laugh.Â
âHeâs a lucky ass,â he says, extending the remaining fruits to you. âMy peace offering to him. I know heâs been boiling recently.âÂ
Your walk with Kuâaro couldnât have been more than a hour, but Neteyam waits for what feels like an eternity. Heâs lingering in the same spot youâd left him, spacing out as he paces, waiting for your arrival.Â
His body goes rigid when he feels a pair of arms circle around his waist from behind, but relaxes when he wafts the familiar scent of herbs and spice.Â
âHi,â he whispers, voice hoarse from disuse.Â
He turns to face you, brushing your hair behind your shoulders to get a good look at your face. And despite wracking his brain for the latter part of the hour you were gone, he tries to get a grip on his composure.Â
âHave fun?â he asks, insides gooey as your face angles towards his, chin poking his chest as your eyes curve into crescents along with your smile.Â
âWas okay,â you tell him. âHe let me bring back the rest of the fruits.â
Neteyam resists an eyeroll.Â
âProbably dry,â he remarks quietly and you canât help the full laugh that leaves your lips at his snarky remark.Â
You wanted to put it off until the night of the feast, but you can tell thereâs an internal warfare that agonizes him. You were shy, not a fool, had known that he was waiting for any concrete evidence that youâd chosen him.Â
And at first you thought it was obvious, could read him like one of your books. But you hadnât realized that maybe you werenât that easy to read, years of growing up learning how to remain composed for your potential role leaving you internalizing every feeling.Â
âYou asked me about my selection feastâŚâ you trail off, making him shiver when you start drawing small shapes on his spine.Â
âUh huh,â he agrees shakily.Â
âYouâre curious, huh?â you ask.Â
âYou could say that,â he laughs, but you hear the twinge of uncertainty.Â
It makes a ripple of sadness work through your veins.Â
âWellâŚâ you start. âI like someone. A lot.âÂ
The flame of hope flickering in his chest dances, the smile on your face an obvious tell.Â
âDo you now?âÂ
He shouldâve knew never to doubt you, shouldâve known with the same ferocity as the other villagers that you two truly were written in the stars.Â
You hum in agreement.Â
âYou gonna tell me about him?â he bites.Â
You peel away from him, shy, even though you know that there isnât a surer thing on the moon. You tilt your head, grin bashful as you clasp your hands behind your back and start pacing.Â
âWell, the most important thing is that he is kind,â you say, pausing to think for a moment. âAnd heâs strong, a great warrior and very brave.âÂ
His chest pumps infinitesimally.
âI think he cares a lot about me,â you continue, then correct yourself, âI know he does. He is gracious and so thoughtful, never makes me second guess myself. He is my greatest supporter and makes me want to be a better person.âÂ
Neteyamâs smile is unbridled.Â
âMost of all, he is my best friend,â you swallow, eyes searching his. âAnd while I love every person who has made me who I am today, nothing compares to how much I love him.âÂ
His breath hitches at the words, your first official declaration.Â
âAnd it doesnât help that heâs very, very, very handsome,â you add, standing before him.
Your eyes settle on the beadwork of his choker, too sheepish to meet his eyes as you brush non-existent debris off his shoulders.Â
His fingers catch yours and you look up find that tears are welling in his eyes.Â
âTeyam,â you coo, a watery laugh leaving your lips at that sight of the usually poised leader-in-training showing far more emotion than youâd seen in the lifetime youâve known him.
âDonât know how long Iâve been waiting to hear that,â he chuffs, head bending forward to rest on your shoulder.Â
You want to tease him, ask him if heâll say it back, but you already know.Â
You felt lightheaded, and yet you couldnât find it in you to pull away. Aoânung kisses you feverishly, his hands never staying in one place, moving around and exploring your body. Until he suddenly pulled away, laughing. You huffed in annoyance, glaring at him. âWhatâs so funny?â you demanded.
âSorry,â he says finally, though he didnât sound the least bit sorry. âThis is really different from our constant arguing.â
âWe can go back to that if youâd prefer. Your face looks really punchable right now.â His hands take hold of yours, which were gearing up to do the aforementioned punching. He laughs again, softer this time. âYouâre really stubborn sometimes,â he says casually, holding your hands to his chest. âLike you can talk,â you mumble, staring at your hands held securely in his own. Heâs right, your relationship has changed drastically. Constant arguing and competitions were replaced with sweet nothings and gift giving. Anger dissipated into affection and fondness as you finally understood exactly what it was that you felt when you looked at him.
âWe can go back to that if youâd prefer. Your face looks really punchable right now.â His hands take hold of yours, which were gearing up to do the aforementioned punching. He laughs again, softer this time. âYouâre really stubborn sometimes,â he says casually, holding your hands to his chest. âLike you can talk,â you mumble, staring at your hands held securely in his own. Heâs right, your relationship has changed drastically. Constant arguing and competitions were replaced with sweet nothings and gift giving. Anger dissipated into affection and fondness as you finally understood exactly what it was that you felt when you looked at him.
âThatâs true,â he leans in closer, and your breathing becomes laboured again as you study his face so close to yours. His soft lips, his blush coated cheeks, his eyes, calm as the sea but they could be just as deadly. âMaybe you should shut me up.â
As much as you want that, your natural instinct is to bite back. âNo please, keep talking. I am fascinated to know what other outstanding qualities I have.â
He pauses, clearly thinking youâd give in to him. His face changes, and you canât read his expression.
âFine.â Maybe he thought that when you started dating it would be all sunshine and rainbows. But after fighting for so long, you find it difficult to rid yourself of the urge to piss him off. Heâs just so cute when heâs mad.
âYouâre annoying, and youâre obnoxious and youâre irresponsible,â he spits, his eyes resembling the deadly waves youâd encounter if you ventured outside the reef. He leans in further and further with every word. You raise your eyebrows, silently egging him on.
âAnd youâre so, so enticing.â
No later than he has the last word out does he capture your lips, greedily and hungrily. His hands grip your waist tightly and he pulls you as close to him as physically possible, your entire body flush against his. His lips taste like the sea, they feel like the sea, they are the sea; they save you and drown you all at the same time. They drag you under their currents and steal your breath only to guide you back to the surface when your lungs start screaming that theyâre going to burst. They have no beginning and no end, they give and they take. They make your head spin and your eyes see stars. The only thing that mattered to you right now was this moment, standing in the shallow waters, the moon you called home traveling so that the planet it orbited blocked the sun and cast you in darkness.
He pulls away, cradling your face in his hands, his hands so rough and rugged from his training and hunting but which hold you with such tenderness and warmth.
âI hate you,â he whispers, the words making his lips brush against yours again. His eyes are calm once more, like an undisturbed sea, specks of green swimming in the soft blue pools.
His words make you smile, because you know he does not mean it, but being open and emotional is not something that comes easily to Aoânung. He trusts you to know what he really means, and you do, because his eyes are screaming it into the night, loud enough for the whole village to hear if only they could study his eyes as you have.
aoânung the type of guy to have u sneak out of ur marui pod in an UNGODLY hour of the night just to take on a swim date to not have anyone around mhm and i have a lot to say abt this.......
notes: god heâs so aggravating iâd risk a scolding for him i really would. not proofread at all if u see mistakes then squint
you try to ignore it the first time. pretend you didnât really hear it and simply doze back off.
"psst."
refusing to move from the comfort of your cot, you keep your eyes screwed shut and your body stiff so as to still appear asleep. after all, it is bad enough you have been stirred from your slumber, you aren't positive your family will take too lightly to being stirred from theirs.
"pssst!"
it's louder, this time, but yet you do not so much as twitch your toes. hopefully even if your family hears they will merely think it to be the wind brushing something against your shared marui pod. and, surely, your perpetrator would not keep this up if you did not give in to his pestering.
but you are very foolish to think that. and very, very wrong.
because he does not hiss out an alarm the third time, no. instead, a hand is wrapping around your ankle and tugging you across the woven floor, mat and all. your eyes dart open instantly, your body shooting up and hand flying to stop your late night intruder from his tugging on you. the scraping sound of his dragging halts immediately, and you flash a quick glance around your marui to clock the sleeping states of your family. thankfully, they still all seem settled into deep rest. a miracle, honestly.
"are you crazy?" you hiss, low and airy so as not to be heard.
"i knew you were awake," ao'nung simpers back, lets go of your ankle only to circle his grip around your wrist. "come on."
"it is the middle of the night, ao'nung." you do not hesitate to berate him, but you make no move to free yourself from his grip either. you wonder why you even play through this argumentative repetition anymore. maybe, it's to convince yourself that you do not hold these late night rendezvous at the same level he does.
(an incredibly false sentiment, regardless of how much mindless convincing you attempt to do).
"that's the point," he grins; wide and boyish and hopelessly endearing, as much as you hate to admit it.
but you must admit itâbecause it would be pointless not toâand you fault that disposition alone for not resisting one bit when ao'nung begins to pull you along by the wrist. all you're given is a split, shuffling second to glance back at your family before you're being whisked away down the netted pathways.
loosening up is easier with each footfall, and soon you don't even need ao'nung's persuasive vice to guide you along with him. you follow willingly, enticingly. your soles hit sand just as muted giggles begin to leave your mouth. ao'nung tugs at your tail, pinches at your waist as the two of you run across shore. breathy chuckles and dropped guards; you watch your volumes but not your hands.
night brings freedomâfrom analytical gazes, responsibilities, pressure. ao'nung likes the night, you have learned; thrives in it. perhaps another reason you find it so easy to give into him.
he sends a daring look over his shoulder as he begins to wade into the water. a taunt, a question. are you going to join me? you will join me, won't you? you will swim the seas with me until the sun burns out and night reigns forever and we are all that is left andâyou will join me?
you willâyou do. as soon as ao'nung turns back around to dive into the water you are rushing immediately after him. it's cold, chilling, against your skin as you break through it. but that does not mean it is unwelcome.
below the tide ao'nung greets you. he is still smiling, still keen, but it is softer. bubbles trickle from his lips to the surface like glitter chasing the heavens. he glistens and gleams and he is beautiful, here. you would not dare ever utter such a thing to his face for fear of it being held above your head for the rest of your adjoined lives. but it is truth and you stand by it, tuck it away into the crevices of your heart. within a file tagged: ma ao'nung alone, for only my eyes.
because this here, right now, is only for you, is it not?
ao'nung swims a circle around you, causes the ocean to spin you at its whim and you do not protest. you give way to see him like this; playful in the most innocent, pure sense. no animosity, so spite. you wonder if he even realizes how much of himself he gives away at times like these. if he's even aware he's baring bits and pieces of his soul to you.
you do not wish to complain and you will take all that you're given with outstretched hands and an ever-open heart. ao'nung is like the ocean: ruthless and unruly but strong and blanketing of all those held within him.
you have always been fond of the ocean.
his circling stops and he tips his head back up to the surface. more air, a need to breathe, he conveys. you've been so caught up in it all you hadn't even realized your chest had started to burn. funny, how such vital things can be pushed to the side.
you follow him, breach the sea and inhale until your lungs are satisfied. as you blink the water out of your eyes, you catch ao'nung's gaze. one beat, two beatsâby the third you're laughing. at what, for why, you have no clue. but you aren't entirely sure there needs to be a comprehensible reason behind it.
it is warm and it is light, and that is enough.
"how about we play a game," ao'nung proposes. "whoever gets a shell from the ocean floor and makes it back to surface first wins."
"oh, you're so on," you snort, let a playful smirk tilt the edges of your lips. "do not cry too hard when i beat you."
"as if you could beat me," he snarks back, mirroring your grin, as he lines himself up with you. "go in three."
you narrow your eyes at him, splash a smidgen of water at his face just to vaguely throw him off his game. he splashes back, you do not fight it. you seem so drained of fight tonight.
"two."
aoânungâs feet knock against yours underwater. an accident while keeping himself afloat, you know, but you still nudge him back with your own. his grin widens, you tip your head in a taunting manner.
"one."
now, in any other circumstance, one might expect ao'nung to be the cheating type. and, to be completely forthcoming, they'd be right. ao'nung is not a textbook cheater, you would say, but he knows his way about bending rules without causing the brittle decrees to break in order to turn the table in his favor. he likes to win, and he likes doing so by any means necessary.
but, that does not ring true in the case of you. ao'nung becomes a fair man within your presence. you like to joke that it's because he's scared of you, too afraid of what you might do in retaliation to his swaying. but you know that that is not the reason behind it at all. rather, he holds enough respect for you within his heart, that he would not try to pull your plug early. and you can't help but admire that.
especially now, as he even waits half a second after you take your dive to take his.
you know it will not make much difference andâdespite your own competitive hunger to winâyou know ao'nung could give you a five second head start and still best you easily. he is one of (if not the) strongest swimmers in your entire clan. you never had a fighting chance of winning, but you put on an act like you're trying to anyways, just to appease him.
you retrieve the first shell your hand grazes as you reach the bottom and instantly push off the sandy floor to race back to the top. and, just like you predicted, aoânung is already a whole bodyâs length closer to air than you. his smile has turned triumphant, proud. you hate that you think it suits him.
you meet him above the waves only a few moments after he rises through them himself. heâs already opening his mouth for a tease before you even have the chance to move the sopping hair out of your eyes.
âwhat did you say, about beating me?â he goads, waving the shell heâs picked in front of your face. âi should have put some odds on the deal. what an easy win.â
of course it was, you want to say, but, âoh, shut it,â is what leaves your mouth.
you roll your eyes as you reach over to shove at his head. and he wastes no time in grabbing your arm, tugging you closer in the chilly water so that his chest brushes yours with every other flutter of your feet to keep you from sinking. his smirk is still there, still cocky and prideful and haughty, but his eyes twinkle with something more genuine in nature.
âwhy do you bring me out here, aoânung?â
perhaps it is not something you should be so easily inclined to ask. not now, not when you are having such a good time with him. not while heâs got you so close. and yet, maybe that makes it the perfect time to ask such a thing. maybe, the heart finds it harder to lie when its pair is only separated by two inches of water and slanted ribs.
aoânungâs snide expression falters; fizzles out like a star whoâs died years ago and now itâs light has finally decided to dim. but it is not regretful, not bad.
it is more so contemplating, thinking of how to define its own existence.
âit is just⌠nice.â he juts out his bottom lip, drops his gaze from yours then back up. itâs so real, raw. heâs beautiful. âwhen everyone else is around, i get annoyed. they are all so nosy. and theyâagh.â
he tries to throw his head to the side in a groan but you stop him. your hand molds to his cheek, brings him back to you. itâs almost comical, the pout on his lips.
âthey what?â you ask, because youâd like to know. whatever it is.
and aoânung takes a moment to chew it over. like heâs really having to think about if he really wants to tell you or not. (you think if he settles on not, youâll just have to twist his ear until he agrees, but you donât voice that just yet).
finally, he puffs out a breath. âeveryone is just always looking. at you. at us. what weâre doing. and thatâs just soâŚ!â
âwait, you,â your eyes widen, the corners of your lips twitch up, âyouâre shy!â
âi am notââ
âoh my eywa,â you laugh, wholly and totally uncaring of the volume of such now, âthis is why you like to meet at night? when no one is around? thatâs soâyouâre so cute, aoânung!â
âoh, iâll show you cute,â he grumbles.
and suddenly youâre gasping as youâre being thrown back. a split second into the air before youâre splashing into the water. youâre all sorts of twisted around, but with a few passes of erratic thrashing, you make your way back up to the surface. youâre sucking in a breath as you hear aoânungâs busting of a gut. youâre glad he finds nearly drowning you funny.
âoh now that,â he chuckles, reaches forward to sweep the mess of hair out of your eyes so that you can get the chance to glare at him properly. âthatâs cute.â
âhow do you somehow always end up spinning these things onto me?â you question, allowing him to pull you close once again, despite the chattering of your teeth.
âyou just make it too easy,â he levels, pinching at your waist and laughing once more at how you jerk from it. and yet, you let him place your arms around his neck, donât object to how he settles his own hands onto your hips submerged in the sea. how uncouth of you, your father might just be ashamed. but as aoânungâs gaze softens, you canât find it within yourself to care about his approval right now. âyou make everything too easy.â
âwhy, prince aoânung, are you flirting with me?â you ask through a faux gasp. and now itâs his turn to roll his eyes at you. but it is done lovingly, with a squeeze to your hips and another inch closer.
âiâm about to do a whole lot more than flirt,â he murmurs, darting his eyes to your lips, closing the gap that suddenly seems eons too far. light reflects off the droplets clinging to his lashes like a linear constellation, and you wonder if theyâll transfer across your cheeks as you let your eyes flutter shut with the first brush of his salty lips against your own.
moonlight tends to paint the prettiest pictures when it is veiling over tides and two young lovers, you think. beauty is forged among the whispers and waves.
COMPENDIUM: when secrecy begins to turn potent love into a wilting flower.
WARNINGS: kissing, cussing, fluff and angst.
LOLA SAYS: bit of a necessary filler before the real meat of the story comes into play. i hate this so please leave some constructive criticism. reblogs are also deeply appreciated.
your hands tremble as you intertwine three strands of dried sea grass together. your breathing ragged, as another piercing gash of pain struck though your chest. alone on the sand, in the dark. wondering how it had all lead to this. crying harder, you tug the necklace off your throat â shells and stones came flying off as well as the clasp. you stare at what youâve done. then, you stand. leaving the remains of it on the shore. the waves will take it, as they took him. it was all over now.
but iâm getting ahead of myself. allow me to divulge into the ever so tumultuous tale of how you got yourself here, in the first place.
âmarek? fucking, marek?â aoânung was pissed.
âwhat was i supposed to say? it was the best i could come up with.â so were you.
âsure, or here is an idea. you couldâve told them the damn truth!â aoânungs most favoured eminent statement he had repeated perhaps a dozen times within the precedent nine minutes.
this fight wasnât going anywhere.
youâd never seen aoânung so livid. typically, in times of conflict â he was relaxed. composed and stoic. staring down his opposer and indulging in ample beats to elect his proceeding words. now, he was agitated. sweating, rasping, desperately imploring you to hear him. to see him.
you had other ideas. âi wonât aoânung. i wonât lose my family.â his face creased in a despicable manner. he was aching. âi cannot take what i did back. i know this. but please. your family will come around. they must.â his fists were clenched. his gaze, full of self loathing. it was like he was trying to convince himself. he wasnât that bad, was he? âaoânung. look at me.â you interject. he does. âi told you what this was from the start. we die with this. if you want me. you can only have me in secret.â his anger arose once more. âthat does not mean you had to go and tell your brothers that you are with marek.â he spoke the boys name as if it were venomous. seething with refutation. his jaw was clenching. he was huffing. moving closer. âi could not have said anything else. telling them the necklace was from tsireya or kiri would not have explained the secrecy.â your eyes brimmed with tears. silence filled the marui. he put his big, calloused hands on your face. bringing you closer. you looked up at him. âfine. weâll make it work then.â he strained. his words were hollow. desperate, meaningless words from a tired man. his face discredited his truce and underlined the falseness of his acceptance. anguished words from a despaired boy. clinging so urgently to what you had. to you. he was lying. he didnât want to do this anymore. yet, you mirrored him. you as well, were a demoralised and exhausted girl. thus, you professed. made as if you gave him any credence, and nodded. he pressed his lips to yours â hard. an affirmation, an alleviation. to the grave. why did this feel like goodbye?
contrary to aoânungs hellish distate, marek was a decent guy. excellent hunter, friendly, cordial. much esteemed by the metkayina. most importantly, he possessed the approval of your family. telling neteyam you and marek were courting was a rash decision. while listening to your siblings ululate and whoop at the counterfeit communiquĂŠ was insufferable â the consequences of this aforementioned action bore far heavier consequences. for starters, after the festivities took place, you had to go find marek. explain the situation, get him on board and cross your fingers in a slumbering prayer that he would keep your secret. to summarise it briefly â it went a little like this.
âhuh? you told your family what now?â marekâs amusement should have served as reassurance, but it was rather aggravating given the position you were in. âyes, okay. i understand this situation may seem ridiculous, comical even. but i need to know if youâll help me.â you reply curtly. âi donât know, yn. might ruin my good boy reputation. being seen around with a fire cracker like yourself.â his side smile faltered when he saw the look of pure defeat you had plastered on your face. he could tell too, you were incredibly tired. âiâll do it.â he nodded. a sigh of relief you didnât know you had been holding escaped your lips and for the first time in hours, you allowed your shoulders to slump. âthank you, shit. thank you.â when you opened your eyes you were met with a peculiar peer. marek had stopped polishing the ilu riding geer, and stilled his hands. âlook i know itâs none of my business but are you sure your family willââ you donât let him finish, âmarek. please. donât.â he nods again in acknowledgement, this time looking at his feet. âso youâll really do it?â you break the silence. marekâs bright smile returns on cue, âsure, i have some time to kill.â grateful, you hug him. he returns it with one arm, rubbing the small of your back. you really needed a hug.
the lie was told. you, marek and a very frustrated aoânung set some ground rules. a summary is of this is simply unecessary because the vast majority of the interaction consisted of you pushing at aoânungs chest to keep his fist away from a chipper and upbeat marek. he made sure to mumble âfuckinâ hate perky peopleâ four times not so under his breath. a little to release, and you think a little to underline how different him and marek were. a silent hope that youâd forever prefer him over the boy. you would. oh, but if only others would too.
invites and redundant swooning flooded the next week of your life like a fountain of torment unleashed of restriction. a new pair, one day to be mated. how dazzling. you quite literally wanted to disappear. your siblings, always insisting you bring marek along to any given activity they could possibly conjure into existence. neteyam and loâak were keen from the beginning, but there was conflict between you and kiri after the data disclosure. justly, she was upset you hadnât told her. it took her a a few days to get over it.
during hang outs, marek would sling an arm over your shoulder, stand next to you. thatâs as much physical contact as aoânung was willing to allow. although, willing is rather potent term. aoânung kept his eyes locked on you both every minute of it. watching neteyam laugh with marek, his jealousy spiked. neteyam was all over marek, eager to get acquainted with his little sisterâs future mate. making brotherly jokes, asking questions, getting protective and warning marek that if he hurt you heâd tie his tail into a knot. all aoânung could think was that it should be him. it should be him getting to know your family, it should be him with him arm around you laughing as kiri told him your embarrassing childhood stories. despite insisting to be there every time you were all together, he wouldnât say a word. chest puffed up and arms crossed. his eyes full of something noxious. regret, envy, pain. a lethal combination. to say the least, the lie was difficult to keep up with.
marek was a good sport. he was extroverted, likeable and easy to communicate with. all qualities that aoânung did not possess. marek was amiable. organically positive, a light hearted guy. particularly good spirited. you couldnât stand him. the urge to roll your eyes every time his affable dialogue erupted into song with absolutely each and every person you would cross paths with was becoming unfathomably ardent. finally, walk of shame had come to itâs termination. you had arrived at your marui. âwell, i think today went good.â marek smiled at you. you thought you might vomit. shame, poor boy. âyeah. thank you again.â
when eclipse ultimately came to beckon the day to its end, you were finally freed. lying on aoânungs chest. his tact felt so different. he was always so, so tense. heartbeat racing, not with excitement â but with the turbulence of his distress. you let your fingers graze over his stomach. he had lost weight. guilt plagued your heart. âwhat is this doing to us?â you whispered into his skin. he looked down at you. his churning countenance causing your eyebrows to furrow. âyou only look good with me.â he stated sternly. his lips were in a tight line. âi know that. you think i enjoy this? any of it? i canât stand guys like marek. you donât need to convince me.â you say. exasperated. pretending there were no problems only indented a void between the two of you. aoânungs eyes soften for the first time in what feels like forever. he sits up, and by effect of aftermath, you do too. âthank, eywa!â he gasps, throwing his head back and laughing. how you missed that booming, boyish laugh. âi was worried, my love. worried that you might end up preferring him. i know i am not as he is.â you smiled sweetly, the reverberations of that energy were ramified with the saccharine gesture of aoânung smiling back at you. âare you kidding? do you have any idea how thankful i am that you are not as he is? i never would have fallen in love with you.â aoânung tilted his head as he listened. his eyes glazed with honeyed affection. âwalking with him is the worst partââ you stop to giggle, âthat boy is friends with everyone! he is nice to people he is not even close with. honestly a nightmare.â aoânung releases a content sigh. âso you would not rather a go lucky boyfriend like him?â he asks, a glint of insecurity shimmering behind his smile. ânever that.â you rub the back of his wrist reassuringly. you feel his hands under your thighs as he tugs you onto his lap. âyeah?â he was smirking now. you put your hands around his neck, playing with the baby curls at the back of his scalp. âyou are my only.â he kissed you, he kissed you like a man starved. his tongue evoking the stars to descend and decorate your cheeks. you stayed like this, bathing in the shine of being alive in one another. but eywa had different plans. your limbs entangled as he hauled you into his feathered rib cage, inking his finger prints into your torso â the actions were possible, passionate. but for how much longer still? he was growing tired. his bones were withering from the rotting burden of secrecy.
that following afternoon, carving drift wood by the docks. neteyam was sat beside you, as he skilfully engraved shapes into the pot he was sculpting, he spoke. âlisten, about marek.â you rolled your eyes. marek was all anyone wanted to talk about. âare you sure about him?â neteyam finished. you snapped you head in his direction. âwhat? i thought you liked the guy.â you all but exclaimed. âi do.â he responds cooly. âthen whatâs this about?â you demand again. âi donât know, just doesnât seem like your kind of guy. thatâs all. always saw you with someone a little moreââ âstandoffish?â you inquire. âi was going for reserved. but i guess standoffish, sure. a guy who values exclusivity. someone less⌠approachable? you were always fond of feeling special.â you raised your eyebrows. your brother knew you well. âbut as long as youâre happy, yn. honest. just remember picking a mate doesnât have to be about making us happy.â you smiled. a true, warm smile. âthank you, brother.â
you pressed a kiss to his cheek. and flew to your feet. you had to find aoânung. running past the docks and through, you finally reached the peer. you spot him. standing in the water with a tsurak. stroking the animalâs spiked spine. and making his calling sounds, probably attempting to attract more. he had riding geer slung over his shoulder. when you reach the water the splashing makes him turn. âma aoânung!â his face scrunches up before heâs catching you mid fall. what were you doing here, hands on him, in broad day light? âi have an idea.â you beamed. âweâre going to tell them?â aoânung lit up with hope. âwhat? no way. i was just thinking i could end things with marek now. i have an excuse.â aoânung didnât attempt to hide his disappointment. turning his body away from you he let out a passive âah.â you pulled away from him too. âthought youâd be happy.â it came out a lot more aggressive than you meant it to. âiâm sick of this now.â his voice became low. he was practically growling. âdonât be that way, come on.â you press a kiss to the side of his mouth. he was about to say something, when suddenly his eyes widened. horror, relief, shock. and horror again. you shifted to look where he was looking. tsireya. tsireya holding a basket full of shells not 3 feet away from both of you on the shore, her mouth was agape in stupefaction. her jaw may as well have hit the sand. with a thump, she drops the basket. and dashes to her left. you and aoânung swiftly snap your heads to look at each other. shit. what now?
