Being polyfragmented is SO WEIRD. It is like a pretty unstable form of regular DID. I say this with my own experience in mind, and having seen other people's experiences.
Like, it doesn't present at all like its got a million dissociative barriers, and the barriers between some alters are thinner than others.
I can't help but notice that those who are polyfragmented tend to have trauma surrounding being gaslit and have a hard time accepting themselves in any capacity. Like there is no singular self state that they can look to and say "That is real". Its always more than one, or a changing self state, a swirling pot of attributes.
I wonder if being gaslit or made to feel like you're crazy, any way links up to the development of one's disorder. Because being gaslit isn't just being lied to, it makes you feel like you are not the one being honest, like you are overexaggerating or lying or denying something or the one who is crazy, that you are not trustworthy to see reality.
I don't think every polyfragmented system has this, but it is quite a lot of them, to which has an incredibly unstable self-state. Including myself. I not only have two co-hosts (three in total), but I also have many, MANY self state fragments and introjects, forming my own sort of collective. I feel the large amount of alters and fragments are to help strengthen the self state, and the dissociation exists within the self too, not just with the other.
And this is not to say that's not how all systems work. Technically all alters are part of the self and exist within the self. But for most systems, that's not how it actually presents itself to be. There is you and other alters, there is you and other parts.
Within polyfragmented systems, however, there is not just you and other parts, but different parts within the part that is you. Different self states within your main self state. Even though other alters are also technically part of you, they are different from self parts and fragments that make you up.
Almost every separated alter, in my system, has some self state part within them. I refer to those self state parts (usually fragments) as asteroids and every separated alter to be planets. And any subsystem alter to be a moon.
And that adds up to be many, many alters. The original definition of polyfragmented happens to be "100+ alters", but never explains why. And polyfragmented systems seem to be structurally different from regular DID, so polyfragmented doesn't make sense that its left as "big system" as the main definition. In fact, big systems won't always have this unstable structure of systemhood.
And I do find it to be unstable. Many polyfragmented systems that I've met have had an internal rearranging and reforming of different alters, ending up with an unstable self, able to change at any sign of danger. But there are other polyfragmented systems like me, who create collections of alters, adding more when there is more stressors. And instead of reforming, each alter gains more. Each subsystem grows larger, each collection becomes bigger. And yes, there will be some alters that don't exist within other's orbit, but are not connected specifically. These alters will eventually form their own orbit at some point. Odds and ends have their uses.
And I don't know if there is a structural form of dissociation beyond tertiary, and its possible that polyfragmented systems are unstable because they have two structures on top of one another.
And this may explain why polyfragmented systems present similar to systems with no amnesia. Because they are a mix of multiple dissociative structures, causing them to have a more unique or unstable experience.
And this is not to say this makes those who are polyfragmented, to have more severe trauma. I doubt that is the case. Even though ritual abuse or religious abuse is common in those who have this type of dissociative disorder. I feel like the reasons for that is because of how ritual abuse manipulates its victim, to alter their perceptions and control their perceptions. Similar to how people, who are victims of gaslighting, have altered perceptions due to the way that they were abused.
And I feel as though those with polyfragmented systems have inconsistent perceptions due to that trauma. Even if different alters hold different memories, its precisely why, that we have such an inconsistent perception and memory. Even within one's own self state, there is inconsistencies for a reason. And it's trying to combat the specific type of abuse/trauma that they faced.
So, I don't obviously have a bunch of sources, this is all just conjecture. Stuff I've learned via my own experiences, research, what people have told me, and posts I've read within this community. But, this may be an important post for people to think about, build upon or look into.
I surely do not have all the answers, but I recommend anyone reading this, to look into things I've mentioned further. Hopefully, as a community, we can figure things out together.
