My heart bleeding words

things I write when I'm sad and depressed.

[flickering-stardust]

Flame

I feel dark

The scars on me don't do justice to it

My thoughts are all sad

More to it is gory

It feels as if my fantasy world has also fallen victim to this sickness

This apocalypse of sort

My mind is kicking me out

Out the only home I built

My eyes seek loneliness

But do they also notice it in mine?

If they do

Do they still feel they are alone?

I do

Are my demons laughing at me?

Reading this pathetic shit

Its so cold out here

Away from my body

Away from the fallen world in my mind

I don't have enough to keep me warm out here anymore

I only have one matchstick left

And i want to shine

Shine so bright that the world sees me

Even if I have to become my own arsonist

~ Mitashi

Pictures via // melikabaran1381 (Pinterest)// faizazafarbutt ( Pinterest)//

[flickering-stardust]

I don't ever die. I tried and tried and tried and tried and tried and tried and tried and tried and tried and tried and tried and tried and tried and tried and tried but i don't. I took so many pills but still i can't seem to end it. I'm not a good human but still I want love. Maybe I'll be loved after i die. Maybe there will be flowers above my grave from the ones who wanted for me to die the most. Maybe my absence will be felt more than my presence ever was. Maybe then my scream will be heard. Maybe then my pain will be understood. I'll be living through my writing and my art and then Maybe just Maybe I'll be loved even if it is after i die. Or maybe my life will begin after my death.

~ Mitashi

Pictures via // juliadelstar (Pinterest)// zarlishshakil (Pinterest)// FortheloveofINSERTFANDOMHERE (Pinterest)// 12amnotes (Pinterest)//

[flickering-stardust]

In my mind I imagine people's lives as a golden, shimmering beam of light going on forever into the eternal darkness where (in galactic years) some lines cross mine for a few seconds, most parallel unheard of my existence and some that crossed mine but wished they hadn't and bent so far away that I will never bestow my light upon them and they upon me.

~ Mitashi

Pictures via // cokaulab (Pinterest)// twitter (Pinterest)// soul_21_ (Pinterest)// thewizardoffall (Pinterest)// kayxlm (Pinterest)// sensualpolitics (Pinterest)//

[flickering-stardust]

Patterns

Love scares the shit out of me

You have to wear your heart on the sleeve Show all your weakness Show your true self All the what ifs freak me out

Someone else holds the power to your heart What if They use it, steal it, lose it, break it, crush it And I can't handle it

You have to be vulnerable What if They stab you, leave you, hate you, laugh at you, use it against you And I don't want my vulnerability to be used

And So I have a pattern I always try to leave before I get left I always look for red signs Or Something Something to tell me I should let go Something to tell me I'm right To leave them bleeding To hurt them To break them To blame them

Oh Fuck me! Why can't I for once love somebody?

Without it being hanging on a thread all the time? What is wrong with me? When will i allow someone to make me feel alive By loving me or hurting me? Why am I so fucking scared of all this? What is holding me back? Oh God Help me!

~ Mitashi

I wrote this about the fear of opening the door to your heart in order to love someone with all of you.

Pictures via // xwun (Pinterest)// Christine Wu (Painter)// fubiz (Pinterest)// rubyvhulston (Pinterest)//