āThis fascinating investigation into what makes abusive men tick is alarming, but its candid handling of a difficult subject makes it a valuable resource for professionals and victims alikeā¦. Jargon-free analysis is frequently broken up by interesting first-person accounts and boxes that distill in- ...
hi so, this is the book that i read after i had left an abusive relationship, in order to try and figure out what i had just been through.
after sending it on to a friend, i realized that the link i had downloaded it from was now broken, so iāve uploaded it again to hopefully keep it in circulation.
i cannot tell you how deeply Why Does He Do That affected me, and how much clarity it gave me into my own situation, and how empowered i felt knowing i had done the right thing for myself by leaving an abuser.
even if you arenāt interested in anyone, even if you are and think āwell, this is just going to make me paranoid. iām not being abused, my partner just has a lot of trauma of their own and needs my supportā (which is what i said when i picked it up 6 months into my relationship and then set it down for another year and a half because i was terrified that it applied to me), i highly recommend reading this so that you can be aware and use your own discernment when analyzing your relationships.
the wording is generally formatted for heterosexual relationships wherein the man is the abuser, but Lundy does make clear mention of homosexual relationships, as well as situations wherein the woman is the abuser. All of the information in this book can be applied to ANYONE that is abusive, either emotionally, physically, or both.
if you or someone you know is struggling with an abusive partner, please get information. please start somewhere, even if itās not this book. leaving my abuser was one of the hardest things i have ever done, but nearly three years later i am so fucking overjoyed every single day of my life that i am no longer in that relationship. my life has not been perfect since i left, but still being in that relationship would have made a lot of bad situations unimaginably worse.Ā
i canāt say Why Does He Do That solved all my problems, but it was my safe harbor after a sea of gaslighting, manipulation, violent outbursts, guilt-tripping, love-bombing, and trauma bonding. i hate to be that guy, but please share this if you can. none of my friends knew i needed this book until after the fact, but i am so, so grateful that i had it and overwhelmed with gratitude for the friends and strangers that circulated it the first time i saw it.
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