Attempted Comedy @floppycsx - Tumblr Blog

the two genders are the intense candy-colored red fake blood used in early horror movies and the deep molasses maroon fake blood used now

thecryptkeeper

male gaze? male gays LOL

touhouweed

squidyword

shavingryansprivates-deactivate

necrophilofthefuture

I think it’s time to go to bed

#Favorite

rrozeselavy-deactivated-deactiv

so the thing about my family is that we have two ancestors on my dad’s side who were buried in france, where I currently live. one died in the spanish civil war, and one died prior doing…we don’t know what. but he somehow managed to get buried in père lachaise.

so anyhow, my gran sends me a message like “pls put flowers on ur uncle samuel’s grave because he’s gone over a century with none and it will make the ghost mad if he hasn’t already” because my family spends time in europe but never long enough to go all the way to père lachaise and give ya boy samuel jr. his death rites. so im like “ok gran I can do that” bc im a good grandson and you do not fuck with gran she doesn’t DESERVE THAT

i figure out which plot he’s on and ask someone specifically where you can find uncle samuel jr. and they tell me where and so I arrive at the junction and.

HE GONE.

WHERE DID YOU GO UNCLE SAMUEL.

*celine dion’s smash hit “my heart will go on” playing in the distance*

in other words either someone stole my entire great great uncle samuel or he has risen again, ready to party in paris for all of eternity.

palindrome-mystery

You’re pretty chill about a corpse disappearing.

rrozeselavy-deactivated-deactiv

My guy, my dude, he’s been dead since 1851. He could be anywhere. He does what he wants.

#favorite

daily-garfield

07/23/83

marblepebble

WHAT???? I NEED CONTEXT

corporateespionage

Dude there are 6 Garfield strips that explain Garfield is actually an abandoned cat dying alone of starvation in an apartment and all the food and friends are in their head.