So I was one of the first headmates who are previous host had become aware of. Although thats also not an easy story to tell because she isn't quite with us. "Rose" who sort of encompasses all of us, really felt like a mix between me and Rosie. Despite the similar names Rosie, doesn't always feels like she is the Rose who was our host, but thats ok... the parts of her she doesn't have I do, and we support each other. But I wanted to share a bit mroe about how I became aware of myself I suppose. A few years back we had been exploring out gender identity again, we had still mostly identified as a woman but part of us felt more fluid. There was this androgynous or femboy identity in us. Rose decided to explore these feelings in a character Named Eliwood. Eliwood was a prince locked away in a tower saved by a female dragon who was also a knight. Eliwood fell in love with said knight as well as an Elven mage who was also in the party. Eliwood was sweet and kind, and an airhead and could talk to spirits others couldn't see and could sometimes see into the feywild causing them to not always see what was in front of him. Eliwood also took a magical potion to take his ideal form,despite keeping his more commonly considered masculine name and pronouns. After Rosie has a turbulent year that involved the death of a complicated figure in our lives, some bad breakups, and bringing up abandonment issues. Thats when the cracks and splits started to become more noticeable, I think some of us were always here, especially looking back at life experiences, but that was when we gave ourselves names and we noticed things. And me clearly not wanting to be a woman...or at least not exclusively be a woman I took Eliwoods name. the character meant a lot to me. But we didn't know all too much about fictives, and well we were uncertain about a lot of things. But with time to think and regrow. Eliwood the character is a part of me...but i'm not just him. I'm glad I could. I found comfort in his identity but also in a character that was allowed to be soft, clumsy, naive and still seen as valuable and good. And He is me and I am him. I'll continue to be more but i'll always have him. art credits: @sadluigi for art of Eliwood the OC (first picture) @ayellowbirds for art of Eliwood they did when I won a contest, as well as a superpower alter ego. last pic was done by me using Baydews Picrew lastly i want to thank both those I credited in the art, as well as @mama-chisami for being incredible people in my life, who have been there for us. And have helped us on our journey.
Update on that journey
Both me and this character are no longer named Eliwood.
Both are names are named Florina. And thats that. Oh and our pronouns changed to fae/faer and she/her. And im more like faer than ever before and I'm happy if not also nervous on where our journey takes me!!
-Florina
new-me
