hurricane

usa / denmark / philippines / taiwan

[boyx-deactivated20190424]

hey handsome…………of that money to me

[florus]

you’re right / i think i would love morocco

[feministism]

[florus]

we walk outside upon my suggestion. the night is neither warm nor cold. the sangria we drank doesn’t make us care anyway. i don’t remember if we held hands walking to the park. we lay in the grass and i wish we had looked back at the stars but all i remember seeing is the garish bright street lights. i try to just look at your face the whole time because oh my god you look so much like him. when i take my glasses off you almost could have been him. 

we walk down a yellow-lit street and hop a fence and see the beautiful 3am view of gaia glittering softly across the river. except we don’t look for very long. i think the whole thing takes only twenty minutes. i look down when we’re on the ledge and see cats walking peacefully one level below. we pass a closed convent on the way back and you sound disappointed that we didn’t go inside. i don’t remember if we held hands walking back home. it doesn’t matter anyway because i’m thinking about how in this light you don’t look like him anymore. we climb into my bed this time. i don’t remember falling asleep.

[lifeinpoetry]

Some say the best thing you can do is carry a pair of little scissors, snip small pieces of the world and take them home with you

— Mary Ruefle, from “How We Met,” published in Granta

[sugarplumharry-deactivated20170]

[cuteasianboyfriend]

when a hot person walks by and accidentally rubs against you

[bring-the-homo]

I’m v offended I haven’t seen some of those in the rip vine videos so I made my own

[florus]

everything goes. i drive to school and back. i read books while eating dinner. i take the train to taipei. i go to the beach with my friends. the days flit by. i have almost completely forgotten you. 

but i still can’t look at the pictures i took of you, or what we said to each other. i don’t want my heart to be ripped open again. not until the next one

[florus]

i like it when you sleep, for you are so beautiful yet unaware of it

we were driving up the north shore. you would occasionally take your hands off the wheel to kiss me. we tried unsuccessfully to get into a closed diner. we jaywalked across an empty street after. we went to the salem witch museum and laughed about it later in bed. we spoke in spanish on the way to rockport. i said it looked like el nido, and you agreed. we listened to my favorite songs, and yours. some of them are still saved in my music library. we stopped so i could see the ice on the beach.

we got to rockport right before sunset. around us, the winter sky had turned orange. as we drove around the coast, the orange slowly faded into a deep, deep pink. this song was playing (wasn’t it?) as the sky swallowed up my line of sight. i can see it now, i can still remember what it felt like, looking out the window, warm in my jacket, taking in the sea, peaceful. and absolutely content by your side.

i go back to this day, and the day before that, a lot. i don’t know what got into me, and i don’t know if i’ll ever know. i just know that the memories still swell even a year later, lapping at my feet. no longer threatening to pull me under, but making me miss the concept of you. what would i give to relive that weekend again? almost anything.

[dungeons-and-dumbies]

Cave in a Fantasy Setting: *exists*

Giant Spiders:

[florus]

running out of room in an essay: the U.S.

needing to fill up more space in an essay: the United States of America, the freedom powerhouse of the world, above Mexico, below Canada, lemme pledge allegiance to that fine ass flag, God bless America, amen

[florus]

pretty sure my dream last night was about you, because he also left.

[luthienne]

So much happened to me internally at that moment. It seems almost fateful.

Henry Miller, in a letter to Anaïs Nin, featured in A Literate Passion: Letters of Anaïs Nin & Henry Miller, 1932-1953 (via weltenwellen)

[florus]

fuimos amantes

[z-a-d-r-i]

“I don’t care about dumb weed jokes,” I said naively, before I saw this

[florus]

me @myself: damn i’ve written some pretty cool stuff in the past

also me @myself: don’t write bc it won’t be good enough