crave | daisy jones.
pairing: daisy jones x fem!reader
summary: daisy looks back on her life and your relationship after finally getting to marry you.
warnings: mentions of overdose, alcohol consumption, mentions of a past addiction, niccolo argento (his name deserves a warning).
a/n: daisy is a lesbian but the reader's sexuality isn't specified. i used the dates and ages from the book.
word count: 2.3k
the clock read 2:48 am when daisy finished writing her new song. most people would think she was crazy for staying up all night the day after her wedding, but she had never been this inspired before.
daisy jones got married to her wife y/n l/n on july 17, 2015. a month after same-sex marriage was legalized across the united states and the same date which marked her 36 year anniversary of being clean. her life changed on that date in 1979, and she wanted to celebrate it by getting married that exact same day and month.
she never thought this was possible. being able to get married to the love of her life, coming out to the entire world, and most importantly, still being alive at 64 years old. she didn’t think she’d ever make it past 30.
“daisy, aren’t you tired? it’s almost 3 am.” the singer looked up from her place on the couch at the sound of her wife’s voice. my wife, she smiled at the thought.
“i’m fine, my angel. i just had to finish writing this idea for a song i’ve had stuck in my head all day.” she answered. “so you were thinking about music during our ceremony? ouch.” y/n said, placing a hand on her chest, feigning hurt.
“oh, stop it!” daisy couldn’t help but giggle at her wife’s words. “you know i didn’t mean it like that. i meant that you inspired me to write a new song. i know, this isn’t news to you, but i could write an entire song about you eating a damn sandwich. you’re my favorite person to write about.”
“what? i thought that was billy dunne.” daisy laughed at the statement, not before sticking out her tongue at her. that was one of the singer’s favorite things about y/n, the fact that even though both of them were well into their sixties, they still acted like two lovesick women in their twenties.
y/n stayed quiet for a little while after that, just lovingly staring at her. the intense but loving stare made daisy feel nervous, not in a bad way, of course. it made her feel the same knot in the stomach she felt when they met for the first time. it was love. she was feeling love.
“what is it?” she asked, her face beginning to flush the way it always does whenever her wife, the most beautiful person alive, according to the redhead, looks intensely at her.
“nothing” y/n answered. “it’s just that seeing you write at 3:00 am is taking me back to all those years ago.”
daisy let out a soft sigh at the memory of their first years together. when y/n would wake up in the middle of the night to find daisy sitting on the floor, guitar in hand, scribbling new lyrics she had just come up with. it was as if she had traveled back in time, after all, both of them have been in this situation lots of times, but she swore it felt as if they were back in the 70s again.
“well, to make you even more nostalgic, the song i wrote is about that. not about me ruining your sleep schedule, but about missing those times.” she slowly strummed her guitar. “is it okay if i sing it to you?”
her wife took a seat next to the singer and placed a red lock of hair behind daisy’s ear. “it is more than okay, unless it makes me cry, because if that’s the case… then it is not.”
daisy pecked y/n’s lips and answered with a quick “no promises!” before taking a deep breath and starting to sing.
i can’t wait to memorize this day
oh, a picture could not contain the way it feels
she smiled as she sang those lyrics. it’s true, she thinks. this is probably the happiest she has ever been, she used to believe people were faking it when they said their wedding day was the best day of their lives, but it turns out they were right. maybe the reason she didn’t believe it is because her last marriage was the worst period of her life.
sure, she married an italian prince. but was she happy? fuck no. she only did it to find a way out of the hole she dug for herself during the recording of aurora. when she wanted to feel special. when she was only drawn to niccolo argento because he was drawn to her. when her addiction was taking over her life. when she didn’t know it was fine to fall in love with women.
you say, "live in the present"
i'm already dreaming of how it begins
when she was little, she always dreamed of having a big wedding with a rich, respectful man. she used to think that was the only way she’d finally get her parents to be proud of her. it took a lot of therapy and self-acceptance for her to finally let go of that dream. she decided she was going to marry for herself and the woman she loved, not her parents.
the singer was so happy she couldn’t stop crying when it was announced she could finally get legally married to her long-term girlfriend. it may have taken over 30 years, but she was finally married to the love of her life.
and trying to savor the moment
but i know the feeling will come to an end
this is a problem daisy has always dealt with, being scared of people leaving and using her. she was a teenager the first time an older man dragged her into his room and made her have sex with him, he used her and then told her to leave. it’s a pattern she grew used to. get used and then abandoned. it was a shock when she met y/n and realized she actually cared about her, about what she thought, about what she had to say, about her music.
y/n always reassured her she would never leave, even when things got rough, she always stood by her side. daisy tried to self-sabotage herself several times, always thinking about how she wasn’t worth the love she was getting, but even through all of that, her wife never abandoned her. never used her. never judged her.
so i crave, crave to do it again, all again
crave, crave, to do it again
it was difficult, it really was. being part of the biggest band in the world and being a woman dating another woman was frightening. but looking back on it now, if she knew all that fear would turn into happiness and she’d end up marrying y/n, she would do it all over again.
just for a second it all felt simple
i'm already missing it
despite all of the fear, a part of her enjoyed the simplicity of their first years together. when they would meet up in hidden places to make out or when they would book hotel rooms adjacent to each other, just to end up sneaking in the middle of the night into the other’s room and sharing a bed. she misses the adrenaline of keeping their relationship a secret, of always having to come up with an excuse during interviews as to why she isn’t dating any famous man.
daisy couldn’t give less of shit about them. the thought of dating a man made her skin crawl. plus, she was dating the most perfect woman alive, how could they think she’d ever look at someone else?
so i crave, crave to do it again, all again.
daisy almost stopped singing at the sight of her wife in front of her. the singer could tell she was trying to fight back tears, she was about to put her guitar down but she knew y/n would get mad at her for stopping. she always tells her to “never stop singing, not even when you see me crying and being a mess. because i’ll cry more if you stop doing what you love.”
so she continued.
i romanticize even the worst of times
when all it took to make me cry was being alive
daisy hit rock bottom a year before meeting y/n. her life was a mess, her addiction kept getting worse, her ex-husband was a fucking douchebag who didn’t care if she overdosed while on tour, her parents didn’t give her a single thought, and she was trying to understand why she didn’t feel anything towards men but kept wanting the same type of relationship simone had with her girlfriend.
she wouldn’t go a day without crying or downing an entire bottle of alcohol. it was the worst time of her life, but for some reason she looks back on it fondly. her years of therapy, meditation and healing helped her realize she wouldn’t have the life she currently has if she hadn’t survived those times.
look up and see a reflection
of someone who never gave way to the pain
daisy looked around their house as she sang those lyrics. their home. it has some plants sitting in the living room, a few framed photos of the band, of her and simone, and of her and y/n placed around the walls. they made sure to leave some space for their wedding photos. she still couldn’t believe it. she lives in a beautiful home with her wife, and the world supports them. they don’t hate them or are repulsed by the thought of them being gay.
after all, the world could never hate daisy jones.
what if i told 'em that now that i'm older
there isn't a moment that i'd wanna change?
she thought she was going to break down crying halfway through their wedding ceremony. it’s fucking crazy how far life got her, she went from hiding her sexuality to inviting all of her friends to see them get married. the years have passed and they’re all old now, but the six and simone are still her best friends, seeing all of them together, celebrating their love, made her feel like the luckiest person alive.
now i crave, crave to do it again, all again
crave, crave to do it again
just for a second it, all felt simple
i'm already missing it
so i crave, crave to do it again, all again
y/n l/n and daisy jones came out in 1997. it was all over the news, they revealed they’ve been dating since 1977, making it 20 years of keeping their relationship a secret. the only ones who knew about it were their close friends and some of y/n’s family members. the couple were rumoured to just be best friends who live together, but the two of them got tired of having to hide from the world.
any second, feel the present
future and the past connecting
any second, feel the present
future and the past connecting
daisy closed her eyes as she remembered the day she first met her wife. it was 1977 and she was at simone’s after-show party, she had just recently come out as a lesbian to her best friend, and simone thought it would be nice to have her meet some new people. both her and y/n were closeted during that time, but that didn’t mean y/n wasn’t dating anyone previously. daisy noticed her from afar and thought she was the most breathtaking woman she had ever seen, something she still thinks to this day, and decided to walk up to her. she didn’t know if she was gay too, so she made sure to only make small talk with the girl.
they were talking about their favorite records when a random girl daisy had never seen before pulled y/n towards her. she saw them having an argument and how the girl kept touching y/n’s arm, something that would make y/n turn her head to see if anyone had noticed. they had a heated conversation until the girl decided to storm out and leave y/n alone.
when she got back to daisy and anxiously said “i know you saw us, it’s not what you think.” daisy made sure to make her feel better by saying “all i think is that you’re way too cool for that chick.. and i know a thing or two about not being with the right girl.”
in that moment, a small understanding passed between them. they only gave each other a small smile before continuing their conversation about music.
crave, crave to do it again, all again
crave, crave to do it again,
just for a second, it all felt simple
i'm already missing it
so i crave, crave to do it again, all again
daisy finished singing and rapidly put her guitar down to be able to give her wife a hug. she loved her so much, she was so thankful for her existence and life together. sometimes she still wonders what would’ve happened if she had never gone up to her that night in 1977.
daisy broke the hug and looked into her eyes. “i would tell you i love you so much” y/n started
“but…” daisy interrupted.
“but you made me cry and that’s not fair.” her wife continued. the singer playfully rolled her eyes at the sentence. “i did tell you i didn’t promise anything.” she argued.
“but fine, is there anything i can do to make you feel better?” daisy asked. y/n hummed and acted as if she was in deep thought before saying “a kiss from my wife would make anything better.”
daisy answered with a “who am i to say no to my favorite girl?”
and kissed her wife.