ohhh look at me i’m not bones i’m Special Bones. i need Special Bone Expensive Insurance. sometimes the Special Bone Expensive Doctor just goes “yeah that’s fucked up” and you have to pay him anyway. don’t brush? gums recede. brush too hard? gums also recede. don’t floss? problems. floss? still problems! sometimes i’ll just break and die for no reason. lots of them at the kentucky derby
Brain is officially on one rn and I'm thinking about a Ghoap Bird AU but they're not birds.
More a/b/o but with bird behaviors. So what I want is a story where Soap meets Ghost, who is large, practical, and intelligent, and thinks "I’m wooing the hell out of that!"
So he goes about it wearing brightly colored clothes and carefully given gifts. He writes poetry and songs. He brings Ghost all his favorite foods. He presents him with nice clothes.
None of it seems to have any effect. Ghost moves about his day like Johnny's not even there. Soap gets desperate, and decides to pull out the big guns.
He goes off for a while, telling everyone he has one last trick to win over Ghost. When he returns, he practically begs Simon to go on a hike with him.
Only Simon realizes that they're going nowhere near any good hiking spots. He demands to know what exactly Soap thinks he's doing.
Soap asks for a little more time and he gets it but barely.
He finally pulls over in front of a small but beautiful home in the countryside. It has a nice garden and greenhouse, and a place to have some animals, (Soap has his fingers crossed for sheep), and once inside it's already decorated perfectly.
Johnny stands back waiting for Ghost to tell him how impressive this is, that he can't believe Johnny went to all this trouble, etc, etc, etc.
But Simon doesn't.
He looks around silently, makes a few complimentary remarks but that's all.
Soap finally gives up. Ghost has no interest in him and he needs to leave the man be.
Later Simon sees Soap sulking around, not bothering to chat or spend time together. He's worried so goes to Price.
Price is confused. "Yeah Simon, of course he's moping about. You ignored all his mating calls. The sad sod even presented you with a bloody house and you didn't even have the courtesy to say you were flattered. "
Now Ghost is the one who is confused. What mating calls? Because Ghost is bad at people, he never thought of Soap's behavior as an attempt to mate with him.
The bright colors? "Johnny always wears gaudy shit."
The gifts and the food? "Johnny thinks I never eat enough. He's always on my case about it. As for the gifts, he picks up trinkets and tat all time. You should see the crap he's given to Gaz"
What about the house?
Simon starts to say something but he realizes he has nothing. He can't think of one good reason Johnny would bother to show him a house out of the blue.
"Maybe he thought I would give him feedback on it. So he can present it to someone else with confidence."
Price decides Simon is the dumbest man he knows.
Simon, more confused than before, hunts down Johnny and demands answers.
Heartbroken, Johnny thinks Simon is being mean, drawing his pain out. He rants and rails, tears running down his face, telling Ghost that enough is enough! He's made it plain he doesn't want to mate with Soap so kindly fuck off!
Simon stills, silently watching Soap, his body tense and ready to run.
"You were trying to woo me?"
"Yes you big daft fucking bastard!"
"...Why?"
Not thinking Soap goes off again, this time listing off every wonderful thing about Simon. He's handsome, smart, practical, reliable, and tidy. The list goes on and on.
And Simon takes it all in,every word, a hole opening in his heart. It's shaped like Soap and that little house in the country.
"I'm sorry Johnny. I never expected this." Because why would he. He's marred, cynical, bad with people and things. A terrible choice for a mate.
Now Soap rants about Simon being crazy. How could he say that? He's not perfect but he's everything Soap wants. Still wants. Does Simon understand that?
And Simon does.
"Can we go look at the house again? I wanna decide if we need to repaint the kitchen or not. "
Soap is overjoyed, kissing Simon and agreeing to paint the whole house again if Simon wants. Anything for his numpty of a mate.
Minecraft: My World AU - Act II - Nether Arc Part 12
EVE RETURNS. Although the Totem is missing, Eve now has the ingredient needed to charge it; a sacrificial soul. And the more scared it is- the livelier!
(Also the pose the Vindicators are doing in the first image is their salute to address their Evoker)
Gaz: The Shadows keep mentioning 'the Pit' and I really want to know what it is but none of them will tell me
König: It's a "Shadows only" thing. But I know what it is thanks to Roze
Gaz, quickly: Tell me!
König: it's not an actual place, more of a mindset. According to Roze, it's unusual and annoying punishments for Shadows who are misbehaving but not doing actual harm
Gaz: Punishments??
König: Roze was put in a room for a couple hours and forced to listen to nothing but Taylor Swift songs
Gaz: What the fuck...?
König: She had snacks! Just... no quiet
Roze, loudly: And if anyone plays 'blank space' around me I'll punch them in the throat
König: The Pit has many forms with various degrees of weirdness or harshness. I want to implement something similar for KorTac
Words: 900
Ship: PriceGraves
A/N: Set during the breakout mission in MW2. This is literally just crack treated seriously. Hidden marriage, anyone?
Original Thread.
When Soap had managed to grapple up the wall of the side of the base, the last thing he expected was for Gaz to be the one to grab his outstretched hand and haul him up onto solid metal.
Now, that alone was a surprise enough. What only confused him and Ghost more, however, was the fact that Gaz very much seemed to be on his own. "Where's the Capt?" Soap asked, voice raised over the sound of gunfire and quickly peering over the wall as if the answer would present itself to him.
"I'm gonna be really honest with you," Gaz replied, looking somewhat sheepish and concerned rolled in one. "I've not a fucking clue. He broke off from the rest of us, said he 'had a plan' and I've not seen him since." The timing of the front gates to the compound opening up was somewhat comical.
Standing there, in all his pissed off glory, was none other than John Price. His entrance seemed to capture the attention of nearby Shadows and Soap was already raising his weapon to try and protect his clearly suicidal Captain-- but stopped. So did many of the Shadows closest to Price.
They stared at the Captain. He stared back, face mophing into a horrendous scowl. Ghost, Gaz, Soap and whatever remaining Vaqueros remained on the wall (Alejandro and Rudy included), stared in a growing cocktail of shock, confusion and borderline mortification when the Shadows saluted. Saluted.
Saluted at John Price as he stalked past like a man on a mission-- like they all knew the man.
"Phillip fucking Graves!" Price shouted, his voice booming and echoing loud enough across the compound that slowly any Shadows still firing weapons stopped. Like a damn spell.
"Phillip, get your sorry arse out here!"
"... I think I hit my head when I fell out the heli." Gaz whispered beside him and Soap would have to ask him about that later because right now, he felt like if he blinked he would miss whatever the hell was unfolding in front of him.
Soap himself thought that he may have been an actual victim to his blood loss earlier and all of this was some sort of lucid dream when, as if summoned by the dark arts, Graces appeared from one of the nearby buildings. He looked sheepish. Sheepish and embarrassed like he had been caught doing something that he shouldn't have.
"H-Honey plum!" The sergeants exchanged glances, mouthing 'honey plum' to each other with raised eyebrows. Gone was the PMC Commander. Gone was Phillip 'I don't make threats, I make guarantees' Graves and in his place was some... timid chastised child.
But honey plum?
"What are you doin' here?" Graves continued, gravel crunching beneath his boots as he approached the furious SAS Captain. "I-I'm, well, a little busy at the moment, pumpkin--" Ghost turned away from the scene and Soap was about to ask if he was alright when he saw it.
Price reared back, his expression thunderous, as he pulled his arm back and punched Graves square in the face. Soap spluttered in growing horror and he could hear Alejandro cursing up a biblical nightmare. From the way Graves stumbled, it was very obvious that Price didn't hold back. Graves staggered back a few steps, hand instinctively coming up to cradle the side of his face that had made good friends with Price's fist.
"Sweetie pie--"
"Sweet talking ain't gonna work this time, Graves, you put a hit on my men!"
"Honey--" Price looked ready to punch him again.
"On your husband's men!" Everyone froze. The Vaqueros stopped. Soap, Gaz and Ghost stopped in their tracks. "This is like some telenovela." Rudy murmured behind them and Alejandro hummed in agreement beside him. Husband? Husband? Not only was Price married, he was married to Graves?
He was married to Phillip fucking Graves. Shadow Company Commander. The man that took over Alejandro's base, that hunted Soap and Ghost through Las Almas like dogs. That Graves.
"I was only following orders, sugar plum, I didn't know they were yours--" Wrong thing to say. Price looked like he was winding up to punch him again and Graves held up his hands in surrender.
"So you were gonna kill members of the SAS?!"
"No! No, sweetie, hey, why don't you and I take this somewhere private where the kids ain't watching--"
The kids? Did Graves just call the other Shadows the 'kids'? Oh God. This was fucking priceless.
"I'M GONNA MAKE THEM WATCH ME DIVORCE YOU." Soap peered over the edge of the platform and managed to catch the eye of a few Shadows waiting at the bottom. Their weapons were lowered as they watched the unfolding scene and they offered a shrug of their shoulders at Soap, who returned the gesture. Clearly nobody currently knew how to deal with the situation and right now watching a lovers' spat seemed much more ideal than killing each other.
"What happened to 'death do us part'?!"
"I'll fucking kill you and make it death do us part!"
So John Price was married. To Phillip Graves. And, stupidly, Shepherd thought that making Graves unknowingly kill his husband's men was a good idea. Soap didn't know whether to be relieved or stressed about it. From the way Price began to threaten castrating Graves, he imagined that the former was better than the latter.
The 'I've got a dream' song from Tangled, but with one of the groups in various situations.
Makarov's men when 141 gets captured except they haven't had any vacation days in six months and honestly-
Kortac when they encounter a child and are trying not to traumatize said child by turning the situation into a funny musical because for some reason that was their best idea.
The shadows, I just feel like they would proform this song. I don't have a specific situation for them, it's a given.
141 maybe like Kortac find a child and are trying to cheer them up while Laswell finds who this spawn belongs to.
There's possibilities here and I had to share the idea
i took this as 'various MW factions suddenly are caring for a child and break out into song for the child's amusement'
---
Konni does sings out of desperation. They had no idea what else to do to calm the kid they had to 'babysit'. Sure, could just ignore the kid, but some softies are watching them. So some reveal hidden talents, someone has the voice of an angel. Makarov walks in on a performance of "Let It Go" and they had to keep going or else he'd be disappointed. You start a song, you finish it.
The Shadows don't even need a reason to start singing. Every 'Tangled' song, in order, sung in a dramatic fashion. Clearly some of them were theater kids and they haven't forgotten their roots. The child they're caring for is in good hands (whether they're there for a good reason is debatable). Graves certainly had a show with a close accurate "I've Got a Dream" is sung, including a piano slo (he has no idea where it came from).
KorTac is suddenly in charge of a kid, get them from Point A to Point B. Easy. Except the kid is playing nonstop Disney movies and now "We Don't Talk About Bruno" is being muttered around because it's stupidly catchy. Eventually they're just singing full gusto, much to the child's enjoyment. Konig isn't singing like them, but he isn't complaining.
141? Soap and Gaz are screaming, dramatic singing to "Hellfire" and "Out There". Their idea. Price and Ghost are suffering, they didn't ask for this. The kid was fine, they didn't need this. Yet here they were, Soap and Gaz getting way too into their song. Kid loves them, cries when Laswell comes to collect them and take them home. That does not end the singing, unfortunately.
I DON'T HAVE HYPERFIX, I DON'T HAVE HYPERFIX, I DON'T HAVE HYPERFIX, I DON'T HYPER...
...fix...
Nil and Polly
Mmm, yuri (or yaoi, no, it will be yuri)
AAH, I LOVE THEM, THEY'RE SO CUTE, I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY'RE PERFECT.
Mmm, a legendary Ukrainian song, (at least for the CIS)
Библиотека, библиотека
For you, @brightgoat
And for your fans who love ship Nil x Polly
Don't judge me harshly, this is one of my first animations, and it's also in a program that I haven't really mastered yet. I also had a crash, which is why I lost the best practices of the project and had to do it all over again.
Laswell: Alright, boys. Meet Sergeant Gary Sanderson
Roach: *growls from the cell he's being held in*
Laswell: He's... a little worse for wear. But I'm sure you can handle it
Price, after staring at Roach for a few seconds: *to Ghost* I'm replacing you
Ghost: WHAT!??
Price: *speed walks away*
Ghost, following: WAIT- HOLD ON A MOMENT! JOHN! JONATHAN-
Gaz: ... see? He has a co-dependency issue, and you want that focused entirely on you?
Soap: ... well-?
Gaz: Suds...
Whumpee A and Whumpee B escape from Whumper together, but B is in a way worse condition than A. So A has to also take on the role of Caretaker, possibly neglecting their own injuries/trauma.
Bonus points - A starts taking self defence classes/training physically so if anything happens they can protect themselves and B. Possibly overexerting themselves, but not wanting B to know to not make them worry.
Bonus bonus points - B joins A in training despite knowing they absolutely shouldn't do anything physically demanding. Their wounds reopen, but they hide it from A (refusing A's help while changing bandages, washing their blood stained clothes when A isn't around). Until B passes out during training one day and A blames themselves for not noticing their condition worsening.
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