When your whole life has been torn apart and destroyed and you physically and emotionally don’t know what to do so you just collapse and break down, hoping it’s a nightmare and you’re going to wake up from it any Minute only to realise it’s not it is actually happening, and you’ve lost the biggest and best part of your life and world, then you sit there and think yeah this bad thing has happened and I don’t know what to do or how to carry on but you know it’s happened due to a lot of different things done by a lot of people but you wake up and realise what you’ve lost and what you’ve been taking and have taken for granted and realising you shouldn’t of been such an idiot and proud to actually open up and tell that person what was going on and what you were thinking, feeling and fearing about everything, to then realise you’ve lost that person that was always there that would always listen no matter how stupid whatever you was saying was, but to then have to try and carry on and get up the next day knowing there not going to be there, or you can’t speak to them because they’ve gone, or be the one they speak to and ring when they had something to talk about or was worrying them, it’s horrible realising you’re not gonna see them walk through the door and tell u about there day no matter if it was good or bad, even if u can be a bad listener at times or get annoyed when you shouldn’t, knowing your not just gonna sit there and see the smile or just have there presence there no matter what there doing, also realising you should of just done that job instead of moaning or wanting someone else to do it so the time arguing and moaning wasn’t wasted when you could been laughing and smiling and making better memories, unfortunately I have lost that person and I don’t know how to handle it or deal with it as I’m useless as fuck at opening up and not being such an ass when it isn’t needed, I just hope I get the chance to speak and see them again even if it takes sometime to rebuild a friendship even from the basics as to chatting and a phone call and the odd meet up and catch up in a safe neutral place, I hope I get them back as it’s torture without them.
Where ever you are I hope this doesn’t upset you but all 3 of us miss you like crazy and hope your safe and warm, we send massive hugs and hope we’ll speak or see you soon we miss you forever and always xxx
ellievsbear
dailybridgerton
kianamaiart
baratheonpilled
gummygunk