Fluid Soul Detox

Releasing the Soul of all those erratic but very real thoughts & emotions.

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...and then you realize you have purpose.

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Drowning

There are days when I am surrounded by people and I feel like I am in the middle of a pool screaming for help but because of the noise no one hears me... But why dont they see me? Why arent they looking for me? I keep going under fighting to get to the surface waving my hands for someone anyone. Nothing. I get a final glimpse of everyone laughing, smiling, talking but not one person even takes a second look. Eventually I relax I stop fighting against the inevitable. I lay my head back as the tears met the water and I let it blanket me from head to toe. The sounds are muffled the light fades. I close my eyes and a sense of peace comes over me. I no longer have to try so hard to be seen. To be heard or to be saved. I save myself by letting go. There is where I find my peace.

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LIKE A SWITCH

Have you ever been having a perfectly normal day and in a perfectly normal mood and then like a switch you are highly irritated? You are annoyed, wanting to yell, not wanting to do anything and in a completely bad mood? I dont always know what triggers those emotions and takes you from zero to negative 20 thousand without warning. There must have been a certain energy that I allowed in and fell right into the trap. It took some time but after I walked into a room full of smiling family and friends just like a switch my perfectly normal mood returned with a touch of joy and filled me instantly. If you don't believe in the power of energy just pay attention to your mood as at goes o. a rollercoaster of different changes. Ups downs plateaus etc... Be mindful of the energies around you and take hold and control of how you allow them to affect you.

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#NoteToSelf in my planner... This week I am making a concious effort to speak and think positively. We can be our own stumbling blocks by the things we say internally and externally. Meditating on negative thoughts has the same effect as meditating on positive thoughts. You bring in the same energy you put out. What can you say to yourself to reverse some of your negative thoughts?

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Nspiyahd Life @TheNspiyahdLife

💍YOU are the Gift! #ForeverDuncan #WifeLife101 #MarriageScope #LoveScope

Know your worth ladies and if you need  a little bit of inspiration and real talk on how to be the queen that the Most High desired for your to be, listen to this. 

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Vibrate Higher

“Remain so zoned out with vibrating higher that you have no time throughout your day to focus on negativity, drama, and petty things.” – Lalah Delia, Vibrate Higher Daily My amazi…

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STOP LETTING OTHERS EAT

As I sit at my desk hungry it dawned on me that I am starving for no reason. I have food that I can eat and have been rationing it out but not taking in enough calories to sustain me. Out of fear of running out or someone else needing more food I won't take what I NEED. I realize I do this in life sitiations too. I tend to push my needs and wants aside to make sure others have what they need and want. Lying to myself that I am full off of others getting what they need. When actually that desire to give to others is only a portion of what I need to be fulfilled. I still must take time for myself and do those things that bring me personal joy. Do you feel anxious and less than satisfied? It could be because you are not feeding yourself enough to sustain your happiness. In life there are things that fill us and bring us true joy. If you aren't getting enough in any of those categories you will be malnourished and feeling slighty empty. What areas in life fill you up? Identify them and make time weekly for all of them so that you stay as balanced as you possibly can. My areas I need to consistently make time for are: - Spiritually - Marriage & Kids - Creativity & Passions - Friends & Family - Self-Care (Mental / Physical) Find yours and make room and time for them.

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(she's beauty and the beast)

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Your one job today.

https://twitter.com/THEAlishaNicole/status/780759124178903041?s=09

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A BETTER MORNING

This morning opposed to yesterday I woke up with a lot more energy. A clear mind and ready to take on the day.

The difference maker would have to be that I fell asleep reading the Word. No phone before bed just reading the Word.

Must try that again tonight.

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It always seems impossible until its done.

Nelson Mandela

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JUST NOT A HAPPY PERSON

Is that really who I am? I listened to a podcast today and the host said that is what they found to be true about themself. They said they had made decisions with the belief that achieving this "thing" would make them happy. Then after hitting the mark over and over again and still experiencing moments of being unhappy they realized, they are JUST NOT A HAPPY PERSON. It resonated with me. I wrote those words down and then I thought please god don't let that be my answer to WHY I have been feeling less than happy lately. I still don't know the answer and I am still trying to fill in the gaps of why I go from a level 10 day to a level 2 day without warning or prompting. Am I just an oddly unhappy person? Who knows but if that is the case... I need to fix it ASAP. I have experienced and known joy and I cannot accept that as my truth.

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THE REASON

I wanted to start this online journal, like most people, as a place for me to freely clear my thoughts daily or at a moments notice. You see I have a blog and an online presence (small) but it exist. However, I do not feel like I have a place to just be me 100%. I feel like most people feel a need to edit themselves so they don’t hurt feelings. Others do it out of fear of judgement. For me its a combination of both and then some. Lately I have been a lot more transparent about who I am and who I am becoming. 

My struggle these days is finding my place in my mind and marrying my hearts desires, the calling of the Most High and other peoples expectations. Or the expectations I believe others have of me. My life purpose I know is to simply serve people. To help people with my life experiences and my work. I don’t want to or have to be KNOWN for what I do. If I never got paid another dime I would still love people and help them to the best of my abilities. 

Because I am a thinker, a researcher and a self proclaimed empath, this space is where I can just release all of my thoughts insecurities, dreams and just work them out on digital “paper”. 

Some of the transitions I am going through are:

Spiritual Awakening

Conscious Thinking

Social Awareness

Holistic Living

For me these 4 things have all been happening simultaneously and on any given day can leave my mind wandering with a million thoughts and feelings. For this reason I need an immediate way to release them so I am not paralyzed by them all day long. Unfortunately, I cannot always write them in my journal and I know my friends tire of hearing my overly emotional rants and meltdowns. 

So here I am just trying to stay sane and praying more clarity evolves in the process. 

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This is where it all starts