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She was the kind of girl who would dance to the melody that only she could hear at 3 in the morning, and she would dance anywhere in the house. If you were awake with her, she would grab your hand and pull you close to her. Then she would make you dance with her, dance to the melody in both of your heads. She would look at you with her hazel brown eyes and give you a shy smile before leaning her forehead against your shoulder as you two swayed slowly, together. And no matter how sleepy you were or how upset you might be due to insufficient sleep, you would never say no to her. She was the kind of girl who would never send multiple texts to get your reply, but she would give you a call because she was quite an impatient one. You would just sit there, laughing to yourself before answering her call. She was the kind of girl who would annoy you, who would get on your nerves to see how you would react, to see the annoyed look on your face only to laughed at it later. And you would grow to adore it. You could never really get enough of her. She was the kind of girl who would get a little upset at first, when you began to laugh at her silly mistakes, at her clumsiness or even when you teased her a little too much. “I swear I will strangle you,” she would say and somehow that would make you laugh more. Then she would playfully hit your arm or shoulder over and over again while trying to keep a straight face. She would fail to do so at most times and oh god, you would just want to hold her and love her so much when she bursted out laughing at herself, with you. She was the kind of girl who would take less than 10 minutes to clean herself just so she wouldn’t have the time to think and you could never help but wonder how, because most of the girls you knew would take at least an hour to only shower. “I did shower, alright?” she would say when you asked. If you asked her a few more times, she would ball one of her hands into a tight fist and show it to you, “See this? This fist is small but it will hurt you badly if you won’t stop asking.” And that never ceased to make you laugh out loud. She would always smell like cherry blossoms after a shower, and you would grow to love it, to miss it even though you never liked sweets. She was the kind of girl who find it hard to trust anyone, except her mother. So when she started to put her trust in your hands, you would bet that you’re one of the most blessed people alive and you would do anything to protect her trust for you. She was the kind of girl who would rather be hurt by harsh truths than be comforted by sweet lies. She would kill for the truth, she would kill for honesty. So you would make sure to be honest with her, to tell her nothing but the truth no matter what and she; she would do the same for you too. She was the kind of girl who would give without expecting anything back, without wanting anything in return. “It’s tiring to expect something in return when you give and you know that I don’t like to feel tired,” she would tell you once in a while. And you would stay by her side, you would remind her to not give to unworthy people but she would not always listen to you. So you would do all that you could to protect her when people intended to take advantage of her selflessness. She was the kind of girl who would laugh while shaking her head at you when you made a fool out of yourself, whether it was accidental or intended. It never really mattered, you really wanted to see the smile on her face and to hear her sweet laughter. She was the kind of girl who would dismantle herself to keep her loved ones whole. She would not blame anyone nor would she complain when she was at her lowest point in life. She would fight her way back up, she would stand back up and continue to carry herself through all. And you would be there to help and support her, although she would most likely push you away because she didn’t want to be a burden, because she was nothing but a selfless beauty. She was the kind of girl that everyone would want to know, that everyone who would want to love. She was the kind of girl with curls at the ends of her mid-length hair, and she would not go anywhere without her glasses. She was the kind of girl with the biggest heart, with the most creative mind and it was almost impossible to not remember someone like her. She was the kind of girl who would leave you to wonder, who would leave you to ponder. She was the kind of girl that never really belonged to anyone but once she has made up her mind to be yours, she would be yours. She will be only yours, no matter what.

L.W. // This one’s for you. May this be the last time (via somepiecesofmyheartandsoul)

Dalam rindu kau berdoa. Menyisipkan beribu kata cinta. Kepadanya yang tak sanggup kau rengkuh lagi tangannya.

Dalam lara kau duduk manis. Tak banyak kata, hanya diam hampir menangis.

Someday, some way, we'll meet. And then we look into each other eyes and find happiness along the way. Or maybe we can meet halfway and runaway to some random place. With mini van would be nice. It's your call.

Apa kabar, Tuan? Apakah masih di sana menunggu semesta memanggil giliran kita bersama?

-Nona yang diujung sana

Mari kita berhenti sejenak. Membuat jeda lebih berjarak. Bukankan baik adanya memberi tempat kepada rindu untuk beranak pinak?

'Cause we were made to stay out of each other life. Even if we are perfectly happy together. That's how the universe works.

Lihatlah senja merayu, memintamu untuk terus merangkulku. Dan kau hanya diam menutupi diri yang tersipu malu.

Semesta angkat bicara. Katanya semua lara memang ada untuk bahagia. Selalu begitu adanya.

benedictsmith

I wish I wrote the way I thought Obsessively Incessantly With maddening hunger I’d write to the point of suffocation I’d write myself into nervous breakdowns Manuscripts spiralling out like tentacles into abysmal nothing And I’d write about you a lot more than I should

Benedict Smith / "I Wish I Wrote The Way I Thought" (via benedictsmith)

Terkadang kita menolak untuk melihat kenyataan karena sudah terlalu terbuai dengan bayangan yang kita ciptakan sendiri. Kadang juga terlalu memuja masa lalu sehingga tidak siap di hadapkan dengan saat ini. memilih untuk tutup mata. Kau tahu apa itu namanya? Penyangkalan

Putri dan Benteng yang Tidak Bisa Runtuh

Di dalam sini, ada sebuah benteng besar yang tidak bisa dilewati. Tidak oleh siapapun. Di dalamnya seorang putri kecil bersembunyi.

Putri tidak pernah keluar. Jika satu kali saja ia menginjakkan kakinya keluar dari benteng, ia berubah menjadi monster.

Sebisa mungkin putri tidak keluar walaupun putri ingin sekali bertemu manusia lain. Ia tidak bisa. Monster ini semakin mengganggunya.

Putri menunggu seseorang datang. Menghancurkan benteng dan membunuh monster di dalam dirinya. Tidak ada yg datang.

Tidak ada yang datang. Putri tidak terkejut. Ia tahu dengan jelas bahwa hal itu akan terjadi. Putri hanya diam. Terus bersembunyi di sana.

Sampai akhir putri tetap menunggu. Benteng tidak pernah runtuh. Putri masih bersembunyi. Tidak ada yg tahu. Dan waktu terus berjalan berlalu

Kau tahu apa yang paling ironis?

Aku menyuruhmu untuk pergi karena aku tidak ingin kamu di sini. Kau tetap memaksa untuk tinggal dan berusaha membuatku mengubah pilihan. Saat aku mulai menerimamu, kamu pergi tanpa sepatah kata. meninggalkanku yang menginginkanmu lebih dari dunia. Aku dengan kata-kataku dan kamu dengan keputusanmu yang lelah menunggu.

Banyak hal yang terjadi ternyata selama kita tidak berbicara. Asumsimu misalnya. Aku bahkan tidak tahu hal itu.

Kamu (Tidak) Akan Pernah Tahu

Tahukah kau rasanya mencinta sendirian?

Tidak ada yang tahu badai apa yang terjadi di dalam sini, tidak ada yang tahu akibat dari senyum yang kau lempar begitu saja ke seluruh penjuru ruangan. Tidak, kamu pun tidak akan tahu.

Tidak ada yang tahu betapa bahagianya aku saat tatapan kita bertumpu dan detik-detik yang menjadikan jeda terasa seperti dunia milik kita dan berhenti begitu saja. Semua terasa berputar, berotasi pada matamu yang kelam bagai malam. Tidak, kamu pun tidak akan tahu.

Tidak ada yang tahu momen saat kau berbicara kepadaku entah itu apa, suara lain terasa bising belaka. Melambung bahagia bagai berada di atas komidi putar pada kecepatan tertinggi. Tidak, kamu pun tidak akan tahu.

Tidak ada yang tahu saat akhirnya keluar juga kata-kata dari mulutku menyatakan padamu suka yang melambung tinggi ini dan kau balas dengan diam tak berkesudahan. Setiap ketukan waktunya menyayatku perlahan dan dalam. Tidak, kamu pun tidak tahu.

Bahkan saat kita berbicara hingga larut bertandang dan pelukan semakin erat, semua seperti mimpi yang dijual oleh penjual mimpi yang meraup keuntungan berlebih dari kenaikkan harga mimpi akhir-akhir ini. Kita habiskan malam tanpa peduli esok akan datang. Semua itu, tidak ada yang tahu, kan?

Pada akhir cerita, semua hanya milikku seorang. Tanpa kamu tahu atau bahkan peduli akan semua ketidaktahuanmu di sini. Cinta, memang bukan selalu milik kita. Hanya aku yang merasa. Tidak sayang, kamu tidak akan pernah tahu.

Kamu bilang kita sebebas merpati. Kamu bilang aku boleh berpapasan dengan dia lainnya. Kamu bilang tidak ada ikatan di sini. Tidakkah kamu sadar kalimatmu itu adalah jerat yang sangat mengikat? Aku masih di sini. Menunggu kamu bebaskan dari semua.

Tidakkah kau sadar semua yang kau katakan berujung sayatan di sini?

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