chaos inviting.

ryu jaehyun. twenty-three. maknae, main dancer and lead vocalist of halcyon. but who could love me? i'm out of my mind.

[fmjaehyun]

FMXMINJUN.

❨ ✵ closed starter ➝ @fmjaehyun ​❩

Time: 8:49 AM Based on: Crazy by 4Minute Characters: Minjun + Jaehyun

When Minjun invited Jaehyun over for an impromptu sleepover, he hadn’t expected the younger male to wake up so early in the morning. He cracked his eyes open when he heard the sound of movement coming from in the kitchen, and he groaned softly underneath his breath, before pushing off his covers and trudging down the stairs to the kitchen. “Do you know how early it is?” He mumbled, stepping into the kitchen, glancing at the clock on the wall. Okay, maybe it wasn’t as early as he tried to make it out to be, but it was still quite early for people who had no schedules for that day. “You’re driving me crazy, Jaehyun-ah. This is the last time I invite you over for the night.”

he was too accustomed to having schedules, so it didn't surprise him when his internal clock had him waking up earlier than sunrise. he had barely gotten five hours of sleep, so he found himself awake for an hour before passing out, and then waking up again just two hours later. 8:49. well, he definitely wasn't going to fall asleep again. he wanted minjun to wake up and keep him company, but he's not a mean person. instead, he opts to make himself some coffee and maybe watch a movie quietly.

you could only imagine the guilt on his face when he accidentally dropped something, creating a small ruckus that was probably too loud to sleep through.

his theory was only proven correct when he hears footsteps approaching, eyes closing in shame momentarily. instead, he turns with a guilty grin, rubbing the back of his neck. "ah, hyung i'm sorry ! it's not my fault !" he pauses, backtracking on his words with a quiet, aegyo-filled voice he was probably used to hearing by now. "okay, it is my fault, but — it was an accident ! i promise i’ll be more quiet next time !"

[fmjaehyun]

FMJIAE.

( ... )

‘‘you were younger than me, you didn’t have someone older to tell you what was wrong or right. what you should or shouldn’t do, what to expect and how to deal with everything the right way’‘ unlike jiae, the boy didn’t have anyone to have this type of conversations with him, not that their parents didn’t try their best to be by their side but some things are meant to be hidden. ‘‘how much do i have to wait? for this all to stop? for how long should i fake a smile when i barely hear people cheering for me? or when people look at me like i’m.. nothing’‘

jaehyun really wants to cure all of her problems. it's not realistic, and probably not a good idea as it would probably only amplify the storm that has been created by her addition to the group. although he wants to magically get rid of all of her pain, have hjh entertainment clear everything up for her and her group, he knows deep down that addressing it with either a lie or the truth ( most likely the former ), no one would accept it. they already didn't accept the fact that she was added to give the group a 'fresher' image, so they satisfied themselves with a theory that they thought fit the situation the best.

he thinks it's his fault.

as irrational and baseless as that is, he can't help it. he knows deep down that it'll always be the company's fault for making the same mistake twice. he's livid about it, thinking they should've done a better job at protecting their artists from this sort of ordeal. as much as he owes his success to them, for a company that tries to protect them from scandals ... shouldn't they protect them from unnecessary hate too? shouldn't they take more measures to ensure that this doesn't ruin their confidence or make them feel guilty? shouldn't they take responsibility? he doesn't think it's fair.

and it's not.

the both of them know this. but what can they do? while they hold their own power, the only people who could — the only people who should — are the executives of hjh entertainment, but they won't do anything. it's obvious in the way that they can't even give jiae, the person who's being affected the most, a straight answer. "why not? reading about yourself can be good." he mumbles back, gaze straight ahead staring at nothing. "not all of it will be good, but ... it's good to be informed about these things even if they hurt." well, deep down, he's unsure if it's really as good as he says it is. when he read about himself, it didn't result in the best decision he could make. then again, he's the type to act based on his emotions, and he was hurt; devastated and desperate to somehow change their mind. he wanted them to see him in a different light, no matter what it'd take.

of course, this resulted in him underestimating his own abilities ... but on the bright side, the majority were no longer hating him, but more so pitying him.

that wasn't what he wanted either, but it was better. he doesn't want jiae to go through the same, however, as it was both a physically and emotionally troubling process. looking at her now, he hopes she stays healthy throughout her career. "if they don't tell the public ... they should at least tell you. you at least deserve that." even if the truth hurts, it's better to know. "i'll be optimistic and say a year and a half. two comebacks to prove you're meant to be a part of happiness." he gives her a gentle smile, but even he doesn't know. it was probably easier for him to be liked since he's a male and people have shitty double standards. "you're someone important. your friends and family know this, and soon enough everyone will know this."

[fmjaehyun]

FMLUX.

( @fmjaehyun )

the worst thing about being in the entertainment industry, in her opinion, was undoubtedly the part that took away the time that everyone needed to see their loved ones. and with her list of loved ones quickly dwindling, it was safe to say that lux was slightly desperate to hang onto those close to her, and justifiably so, if you asked her. and having a friend of almost eleven years ? now that was most definitely a friendship that lux was going to keep as close to her heart as she possibly could. ryu jaehyun had quite literally stumbled into lux’s life two weeks after she first signed under hjh, she’d tripped over his feet and ended up grabbing onto him in an attempt to steady herself only to bring him tumbling to the ground. it was an odd way to start off their friendship, but it seemed to have worked regardless.

it’d been a last minute decision to go and surprise the aforementioned idol at one of halcyon’s concerts. call her a clingy person but lux truly did have an issue with not being able to see her friends after a couple of weeks; there was only so many phone calls, texts and skype sessions that she could handle.

god help her when she actually got into a relationship and god help her partner as well.

rounding a corner, the ginger barely managed to contain the squeal that threatened to escape her lips when she finally spotted the older male before she’s barrelling towards the slightly taller idol and wrapping her arms around his thin frame, cheek against his back. “guess who ! ”

he wanted to die. he was so tired, and he wanted halcyon’s shows to be over as soon as possible. of course, he’s used to feeling exhausted after every show, but he was reaching his limit. as much as he loves practicing and bettering himself, he can’t help but feel the need to sleep as soon as possible; he kind of wants to sleep right this moment. he silently prays that no one is making them practice early in the morning tomorrow; he thinks it’s unnecessary for now since they’re wrapping up for the month. he just wants to go home, cuddle with his puppies and head to sleep for the night.

when the concert is finally over, he rushes backstage after waving goodbye to the fans for the thousandth time and towards their manager, beginning to whine as cutely as he can for them to go home as soon as possible. “hyung, please ! i’m so tired, this is too much for the baby !” even with the cute, high pitched voice, his older male pushes him away playfully, something along the lines of "you’re twenty-three years old, stop acting like this !” he whines again, sulking like a child — someone let him go home ! he almost begins whining again, before he’s nearly knocked down by someone colliding with him ...

he almost panics, before realizing it was on purpose.

“hm ... who could it be?” he plays along, looking up as he pretends to think. he recognized her voice anywhere: that’s what eleven years of friendship does to people. “who would take time out of their busy, busy schedule to see me?”

[fmjaehyun]

FMDALDAL.

( ... )

❝-Jaehyun-ssi,❞  she handed him a small brown envelope she retrieved from her bag.❝ I am trusting you to get all the members to sign up this time, no excuses okay? ❞   Of course, how could she pass by the opportunity to have her physical copy of the album signed by the members of her ultimate group? She wasn’t. But with her schedules never making time, it was almost impossible for her to get a hand on it. So, last minute decision, she decided to pay Jaehyun a small visit -a perfect excuse for him to finally grabbing that album and forcing all the other members to sign it up.

❝- Since I came back just now just for this, I think it’s only understandable for you to invite me for a lunch. It’s etiquette, right? For you sunbae.❞

@fmjaehyun

it’s a busy day in the worldwide media building, numerous figures speed-walking through the hallways to get to where they need to be, trainees in the practice rooms and idols preparing for their numerous schedules lined up for the month. it’s always fairly busy, and it almost seems like employees here never catch a break. there’s always something happening, always something being planned, that just keeps everyone busier and busier than the day before. how no one seems to even look the least bit tired — something he secretly envies — is beyond his knowledge. he’s always told that ‘when you’re in the business for as long as they have, you learn just how this world works’.

ryu jaehyun has been in the company since he was eight ( turning nine ) years old, and after fourteen years he still had no clue as to what their secret is. it’s one of the reasons he’s stressing out now, because he thinks that his own fatigue had caused him to slip up, misplacing some important papers for both his album and halcyon’s. he’s sure that when, if, the other members hear of this, they will never let him live. frantically searching the room now, he can’t help but frown deeply — where had those papers gone? not only with the boys kill him, but his manager will kill him ! perhaps he should just reprint all of the pieces he lost, but that’d be tedious, wouldn’t it? he doesn’t like that option.

the abrupt knocking on the door startles him, making him jump before clutching his chest — a soft call of his name would’ve been better.

“it’s almost time, jaehyun-ah. you might as well get going now.” right, he managed to forget that too. he had no idea he’d be so busy today. as much as he wants to keep looking for those papers, he supposes a break wouldn’t hurt him; after all, his parents wouldn’t let him skip this time. he straightens himself up, nodding at no one else in the room before heading out of the room, playfully glaring at his manager. “i was working back there, you scared me !” his words are met with equally teasing laughter, the type telling him to get out of here before he really tries to scare the idol. he hurries down to the lobby, catching a few trainees entering and, like a good senior, he halts his journey to talk to them.

“jaehyun-ssi !”

he pauses again, confused momentarily as he does a double take. shit. he completely forgot daldal would be seeing him. something about getting halcyon’s album signed by all of the members — something completely doable for someone he considers close to him. he’s still wondering if he’s being pranked. how was someone like daldal, inarguably one of the biggest household names in south korea, a fan of his group? he’s a fan of her; of her group as well ! which reminds him, how could he forget he was going to spend time with her? stupid. regardless, he bids the trainees goodbye, turning away as he offers the woman a megawatt smile; it’s always nice to see friends after a slightly stressful morning.

“noona, so nice to see you !” he gingerly tucks the envelope under his arm, his hands in his shoulders as he nods obediently: she didn’t need to ask twice. a brow rises as she makes her declaration, chuckling before gesturing outside. “well, it’s funny you bring that up; i was just about to go have lunch with my parents.” he smiles, pausing in his step to look back at her. “would you like to join us? i’m sure they won’t mind me bringing a friend.”

before walking again, he paused once more, giving her a serious look.

“and don’t call me sunbae ! that’s wrong and you know it !”

[fmjaehyun]

FMJIAE.

—past thread ( somewhere around late march/early april 2015 )

naive, young - jiae doesn’t understand anything around her or at least most of the things that are happening. the first thing that made her confused was the sudden change of plans on her debut, from debuting in a girl group in around 2017, jiae was suddenly added into a group that had debuted back in 2014, with a fixed fanbase and popularity. the second thing was the rumors, from blaming her lovable brother to having, following their words, evidences that her parents had something to do with the debut. if ryu jiae bothered to ask them for the truth? she didn’t. living in the oblivion was better than knowing the truth and getting hurt but she deep down knew the change wasn’t normal. ‘we’re needing a new face for the group, you’re ready to take the place of the 5th member jiae! welcome to the group’ they told her, happy smiles on their faces that a few days/months later were graved into the girl’s mind as being nasty smiles that were literally whispering suffer.

ryu jiae already went through her first ( ever ) stage, first live perfomance after being announced as the new member of happiness. the comments online make her shake in fear, she hides it behind a smile and a not-so-good joke with the members and her friends. they’re asking her to drop out of happiness, to disappear and a bunch of thing jiae decided to erase from her mind for her own sake. but there was one person who jiae could count on, who went through almost the same thing - though it was slightly different. ryu jaehyun. the shoulder to cry on, the sunshine to her cloudy sky. ‘’i didn’t read them’’ she lets out, flipping her phone over so the screen couldn’t be seen. lying to her brother wouldn’t help on anything but worrying him was not on her plans - and he surely had a lot to worry about if jiae showed him half of the things her eyes witnessed in the past weeks. ‘’i just don’t get it - why now and why can’t people accept it. why are they making up everything and more. how did you deal with this and why did you deal with such nasty people..’’ the girl goes silent once again. thinking and thinking over and over. but her brain is so tired of trying to find reasons for everything - from a dream her life suddenly turned into some type of confusing nightmare that doesn’t seem like it will go away soon. maybe one day but until that day comes, ryu jiae has to deal with the unexpected. the cloudy sky that soon turned into a full on black sky - but with no stars like she expected. ‘’i just don’t know how to process all of this’’

( @fmjaehyun )

he knew that there was a lot of risks that came with debuting his younger sister now. she had just turned fifteen, and was being thrown into this industry the way she had done so by the company — he didn’t understand how they could decide to do something so foolish. as much as he supported jiae with all of his heart, he can’t help but feel worried about all of the pressure that’s being placed on her shoulders. being the only trainee placed into an established group made no sense whatsoever, and there would probably be a lack of answers for a really long time. it’d make a little more sense if it were two or three trainees joining, but the addition was odd in itself and he couldn’t help but be anxious.

he’s already been told to not read any articles or netizen comments, but what exactly was he supposed to do? sit back and pretend that hjh artists lived in a bubble of serenity? he read up about everyone’s reactions when the news was first publicized before he even realized it; it’s just a natural reaction to want to know these things about himself and the people he cares about. looking at his younger sister now, after her first stages as an official member of happiness, he can’t help but feel pity for her — she looks tired, both physically and emotionally. he wishes he could do more for her; he wants to protect her, more than hjh entertainment has done thus far. ( which, in all honesty, they haven’t been doing so to begin with. )

he glances at her, reading her expression carefully.

“it’s okay if you did.” he mumbles, snaking an arm around her shoulders before pulling her in for a side hug. he also read articles about her ... most of which held a lot of mixed reactions, the negative slightly outweighing the positive. “i read about myself when i first debuted too ... it’s normal.” of course, it was probably recommended to them that they don’t read anything about themselves, but curiosity is a powerful ! he just can’t ignore it, and he’s certain she believes the same. he frowns at her words, hugging her closer to him: he wants to protect her, possibly taking legal action but that probably won’t do much to change the situation. “i really wish i could give you a solid answer ... you’re hurting the most, and you at least deserve that. but if it makes you feel better, you know, it’s an unintelligible thing for people to not like what they don’t understand.”

he thinks back to his own debut for a moment, nearly shuddering at the memories. they’re not pleasant either, nearly identical if he’s to be honest. the way he dealt with it ... is not the way he wants jiae to deal with it. “i just turned fourteen, and ... i didn’t deal with it properly. i let them get the best of me, and i don’t want that to happen to you.” he pauses, rubbing her arm reassuringly. “however, i’ll can promise you this: it definitely gets better with time, jiae."

[enmseungyeon-blog]

after a discussion with the admins, i suggested making a groupchat on discord to include plotting, character development and ooc chats, or just to get to know all of us better, making sure we’re all comfortable around each other is key to healthy and loving friendships !! so if you would like to join, please message me your discord or leave your discord under this post.

// if you do not have discord, no worries ! i’m more than happy to explain to you how discord works and help you out with navigating through it. however, if you do not feel comfortable giving it out or making one, please don’t feel bad :-( we will find a way to plot with everyone !!

[enmseungyeon-blog]

http://discord.gg/kVkqfnV

here’s the link guys !!

[fmjaehyun]

what would you do if halcyon disbanded?

HONESTY WEEKEND — NOT ACCEPTING !

"don't."

[fmjaehyun]

would you rather be locked inside a pet store and be unable to the touch the puppies or be able to touch the puppies but not be able to take them home?

HONESTY WEEKEND — NOT ACCEPTING !

this question reminds him of when he tried suing that pet store — not exactly the same, but similar enough. not really. "the latter. while both are complete torture, all puppies deserve to be pet, even if i can't take them home. wouldn't i still win since i got to pet puppies?"

[fmjaehyun]

After being in the industry for so long, how do you handle keeping your private life private?

HONESTY WEEKEND — NOT ACCEPTING !

"the easiest way to ensure that your privacy will never be invaded is just by pretending you're an open book." it doesn't sound real, but he believes this wholeheartedly. "it's like ... the closer they think they are to knowing everything about you, they will less likely stop looking for the bigger picture. it's like what magicians always say — the closer you are, the less you'll see."

[fmjaehyun]

if you could change something about your life now, what would it be?

HONESTY WEEKEND — NOT ACCEPTING !

"i'd probably rid myself of my weaknesses, because they tend to get in the way of everything. does that count?" well — those would surely be a lot to erase.

[fmjaehyun]

what is the most romantic thing someone has ever done for you

HONESTY WEEKEND — NOT ACCEPTING !

"romantic?" he smiles fondly at a few memories immediately clouding his mind. "the most romantic thing someone has done for me ... was probably take me to their hometown for the weekend of their birthday. they brought me everywhere that was sentimental to them, allowing me to get a little glimpse of their world. they did a lot more for me even if we were celebrating their birthday, but either way i really enjoyed kind of taking a stroll through their memories. it's a sentimental place for me too now."

[fmjaehyun]

ideal relationship?

HONESTY WEEKEND — NOT ACCEPTING !

"who has time for a relationship?" he's half joking — his schedule seems more and more packed these days and he can't even see his boyfriend as often as he could. even without the busy schedule, it's difficult to see him without the fear of some rumors spreading. "i guess my ideal relationship ... would be one where i'm able to be one-hundred percent honest with the other person — where i don't need to lie about anything and vice-versa ... ?" it's a question, as he's unsure of whether that's actually ideal. he doesn't even feel comfortable telling the truth to himself — what more to his significant other? "you know, all that cliché mushy stuff."

[fmjaehyun]

name some people you wish to get close to

HONESTY WEEKEND — NOT ACCEPTING !

"um ... everyone? i want to be close with you too."

[fmjaehyun]

how does it feel to have a younger sister in the same company and type of industry as you

HONESTY WEEKEND — NOT ACCEPTING !

“i feel ... it’s hard to explain.” indeed it is. he frowns for a moment, unsure of how to say this without sounding too overprotective — the only issue was that he is too protective. he shouldn’t be. “i’m always worried for her, because ... ever since her debut, i guess i’ve just been unnecessarily paranoid? i just want her time in the industry to be ... good. i don’t want her to remember any bad things that have been said about her, because i know sometimes the negative can outweigh the positive; doesn’t matter if the latter is actually larger. even if i don’t want to, i always find myself monitoring netizens online, and like, it’s weird — i don’t even do it for myself as much.” their parents don’t even watch for these things; they have no reason to. if they did, they’d call lawyers. “i always make it seem like i want to hide her away, but i don’t — jiae would not only murder me, but she also deserves the spotlight. i’m always proud of how far she’s come, and i’m happy that she’s happy. i believe she’ll succeed with her group for a large number of years; i just ... wish i could protect her better.” she doesn’t need it.

[fmjaehyun]

Biggest lie you have told?

HONESTY WEEKEND — NOT ACCEPTING !

“uh ... that i’m fine? seems like a dumb lie, and yeah it is, but i think it’s the lie i tell the most. i do a good job selling it though, don’t i?”

[fmjaehyun]

Besides Jiae, would you want your other siblings to follow in your footsteps and become idols/celebrities?

HONESTY WEEKEND — NOT ACCEPTING !

“although that’s their choice to make, i would sincerely hope that they don’t.” it’s not something he needs to think about — if it were his decision, he’d never allow them to step into the spotlight. even now, he tries to keep their faces away from his social media, no matter how much he wants to show off how cute they are. “considering how things have gone with jiae’s debut as well as mine, i don’t think i want them to experience the same thing. they deserve better than becoming products of someone else’s vision, you know?”

[fmjaehyun]

what was the most memorable experience you had with a fan?

HONESTY WEEKEND — NOT ACCEPTING !

“we were overseas once, and after one of our shows we decided to go out and eat instead of head back to our hotel. we saw a lot of street performers that night, and to our surprise they started playing our song ! but that wasn’t the best part. as our song played, someone actually got down on one knee and proposed to me with one of those plastic rings you could get anywhere — i think i said yes ... though i don’t know where that ring is now.”