Mafia Dads + 12 Kittens AU

Joe finds three litters of kittens in an alleyway. Him and his mob boss friends, Patrick, Andy, and Pete, take them home to raise. Until their rival gang wants their cat's kittens back, and the Chicago Infinity Gang must fight to defend their right to the kittens.

[fobmafiaau]

Ask questions. Please.

[fobmafiaau]

I wanna get the ball rolling again. Ask stuff before I start the actual plot!

[fobmafiaau]

Ask questions. Please.

[fobmafiaau]

I wanna get the ball rolling again. Ask stuff before I start the actual plot!

[fobmafiaau]

Ask questions. Please.

[fobmafiaau]

I wanna get the ball rolling again. Ask stuff before I start the actual plot!

[totoros-booty]

Why do they call them booby traps when they don’t have breasts?

[fobmafiaau]

But how do you know for a fact that they don't? -Andy

[fobmafiaau]

Ask questions. Please.

[fobmafiaau]

I wanna get the ball rolling again. Ask stuff before I start the actual plot!

[hydro-homies]

I’m sure he will.

[hydro-homies]

Mind ya mf business

[hydro-homies]

I know you are but what am I?

[fobmafiaau]

Do I need names for the human children as well?

[fobmafiaau]

Pete: *sticks Daisy, Capone, and Pigeon in his child's crib* Meagan won't notice that we have three extra kids now, right?

[fobmafiaau]

Hc: Lindsey and Hayley lose one of their cats when Pete thinks it’s a stray. Shit hits the wall, Pete gets beaten the fuck up by Lindsey but Patrick and Joe and Andy don’t really wanna help out Pete because Lindsey’s innocent and Pete WAS kinda the asshole here

This is so perfect, I can't even. Just like

Lindsey: *beats shit out of Pete*

Hayley: Aren't you guys gonna do something about this?

Joe: Naw. This isn't the first time we've gone too far in cat-related shenanigans.

[fobmafiaau]

Are mcr here?

In the current planning, no. Which is weird for me, since most my AUs involve MCR, mostly for the sake of Geetrick. But, I felt like shaking things up with a not-Geetrick AU so. Yeah.

I was thinking of maybe Mikey being Brendon's LD boyfriend, but, even if I go through with that, it probably won't be a major plot point.

[fobmafiaau]

Which cats are cuddly monsters and which hiss at you if you touch them?

Jacqueline is a sweetheart, but refuses to let anyone but Joe touch her, which kinda sucks, since she lives with Patrick. Garbo is Patrick's favorite, because she definitely is a cuddler and she likes to follow him around the house and sit on his desk and with him in bed. Essex is what Pete calls Jackie and Garbo's "troubled middle sister", but Patrick loves her despite her hatred of him and bitchy demeanor, although she is strangely fond of Elisa.

Daisy Fitzgerald is the calmest of Pete's cats, and he loves her, despite the fact he only sees her when she wants to be fed. Capone VII is the troublemaker, who needs to be kept out of the closets and kitchen, but he loves being pet. Pigeon is also kept away from anything breakable, because he is really clumsy and will accidentally destroy anything he touches, but he's also a total attention whore when it comes to his dad and mom.

Mange James is exactly like his name, as in, messy and reckless, but he tries to be a total sweetheart as well and he loves climbing into bed with Joe and sitting directly atop his face and suffocating him. Timothy Stewart (originally thought to be a boy cat but accidents happen so) is constantly found in the weirdest places, like the bathroom sink, or Joe's kid's underwear drawer, and she'll cuddle at a moment's notice. Rustin won't; he just can't be bother to nice to people, so he's the bitch of the family.

Tweedle is the sweetest, tiniest kitten ever and she so sweet and cute and affectionate that Andy's other cats get jealous of her. Gadzooks is at the opposite of the spectrum, starring as the most intentionally pesky cat ever, but he makes up for it by being sweet. Zounds is like Gadzooks, except he hates everyone, but he still won't turn down a nice petting whenever he feels like it (but only if he feels like it, relationships are on his terms).

[protect-and-love-cats]

Hilarious Reasons Why Every Cat Owner Should Get A Glass Table

[fobmafiaau]

does anyone have allergies to the cats? if so, how do they cope!?

Pete is. His method is called "if I die, I will die happily with kittens smothering my face."

[fobmafiaau]

Someone needs to be trans. Is there anyone yet?

Someone should be! I was planning on Patrick (kinda works with him seeing Jacqueline, Garbo, and Essex as the closest he has to kids).

Also, eventually Panic! gets introduced (because I realized mid-planning that I needed way more people for this than I originally realized). Idk if this is a spoiler, but Ryan and Mike are.

[fobmafiaau]

Joe, drunk: If we can't put our reproductive organs inside our pride, what is there left to stick our reproductive organs inside? Public toilets?

[fobwatching-blog]