For Aliens and Bears

Sorry, I'm Sad.

[foraliensandbears]

I really hate when people say ”it gets better” because honestly my life has been going downhill since I was like six years old, and it only gets worse and worse

[foraliensandbears]

hmm google tell me how to delete memories pls

[foraliensandbears]

I know they don’t hate me, it’s just that they don’t really care about me. Like if I’m there then good, but if I’m not there they don’t care. I never get invited to things, at least I ask them about it, or if I’m the one who say that want to do something. They never really include me, I’m the one who “doesn’t know what they’re talking about”, I’m the one who is left alone if we have to work in groups and the number doesn’t match. They always have another person to invite, I’m never the first or second, not even third option. 

That’s why I always say I don’t have friends. It’s not that I don’t talk with people or that I can’t hang out with someone… it’s just I’m not relevant for them. I have always wanted to be the first option to someone (even second at this point lol). Like being the person that someone thinks about when they want to do something, going somewhere, or want to talk about something with someone. Having someone to ask me if I want to go with them to watch movie because they know I would like it, or because they think I’m good company (??), or if they want to go out for a walk or to eat ice cream, just hang out, or whatever, but being their first option. LIKE PLEASE. is that too much to ask???

is it bad that I want to be really important to someone???? 

whyyy whyy everyone has already a group of friends? and best friends?? 

why can’t I have that??… Maybe there’s something that is really wrong with me??? 

I don’t know, I just feel alone.

[trauma-rat]

things I want: love and affection things I have: trauma and touch starvation

[foraliensandbears]

You know, I only need to delete like two years of my life, that’s all, let me delete those memories and I will be able to keep going with my sad life like nothing happened

[foraliensandbears]

I miss those old good days of feeling absolutely nothing, being a zombie, and being on automatic pilot. Now I’m just sadness x anxiety x 100000 all the time 

[foraliensandbears]

me: *reading MY OWN posts in this old tumblr while crying* Whyy iss thiisss sooo relaaataaableeee

[jueki]

[foraliensandbears]

My mum: You haven't hung out with your friends in ages

Me: What friends.

[bellewth]

Friend: My lips are the worst part of my face.

Me: My face is the worst part of my face.

[universi-tea]

concept: me, drinking coffee in a café in a foreign country. it’s raining outside. i’m reading my favorite book. everything is okay, and i’m never stressed. 

[silversarcasm]

*interacts with people*

*has to take a four hour nap*

[bitchezbebonkers-deactivated202]

@pizzaparadiselost

[fruitsaladchewits-deactivated20]

well, well, well, if it isn’t the feelings i’ve been trying to avoid 

[foraliensandbears]

Maybe it was just the hair

[jrugs]

waking up everyday seems a little excessive

[gulcayn2-deactivated20210101]

me @ myself: why is she doing this to herself

[foraliensandbears]

when you try your best but you don't succeed...