A STUDY IN : self-sacrifice | duty bound & chained | family ties | martyrdom culture | loving your scars | upholding a legacy while creating your own | survivor's guilt | making the most of it
trailblazing with : @skyshattr, @cloudhymn, @venstm, @maskednihilism
001. GENERAL NO NO'S: no god-moding, the usual. no assuming something about my muse that yours wouldn't normally know. your typical rp conduct. i also do not interact with anyone who writes in.cest/pedo.philia/"genderbent"/a.b.o. or seme-uke stereotypes, and i WILL NOT write with anyone under 18. honestly i'd prefer you be over 21, but under 18 is a hard pass. please respect that.
002. TRIGGERS: i have a pretty intense trigger with blood and gore. please just put 'blood' somewhere in your tags if you think it might be triggering content, and my blacklist should catch it. if you do not tag gore content (text is fine, it's visual gore i can't handle) i will softblock you.
003. DUPES: i love dupes. good taste, my friend. if you don't like dupes i get it, that's ok, i won't follow dupes unless i know for sure they're ok with it.
004. SHIPPING: open to shipping, but please understand my gepard is gay. i would prefer a little discussion beforehand, just to know we're on the same page. i will ship with multiples of the same muse, but only if my partners are comfortable with that.
004. EXCLUSIVES / MAINS : i do not do exclusives, but i do have mains. if you would like to be one, just ask.
005. if you unfollow me after we have become mutuals, please softblock me. i don't need a reason, the choice is your own and you have the right to cultivate your dash as you need, but i don't want to make things more awkward by thinking we're still moots when we aren't. thanks. i will most likely do the same.
006. NSFW : mun and muse are of age, (gepard is 26~27ish) so there will be nsfw present. GEPARD IS ALSO A WAR CAPTAIN. there will be darker topics present on this blog like ptsd, anxiety, self-deprecation, dissociation, etc. i will not mellow down these unless specifically asked, but i will always do my best to tag them accordingly.
i hc gepard has his own place, like a house, but it's on the landau estate, which is a larger property near fort qlipoth. his own place isn't as fancy as the main landau home, just a two bedroom with a kitchenette and the essentials. gepard doesn't really decorate. he's not home much due to his work, not to mention he's not super fond of the home all together. it's more a place to lay his head rather than anything personal. he knows his father only gave it to him to keep him close, otherwise gepard would have moved out into the city when he got the chance. and gepard wants to stay close-ish as well, to make sure lynx is alright. he offers her his place to crash when she wants to get out of the house, and he's never usually home anyway. most of the "personalization" in his place was done by his sisters.
though, he has added a small paiting easel and station in the guest bedroom. and there are plants everywhere. some alive, some not.
i think abt gepard genuinely enjoying himself doing something; smiling, laughing, whatever - only to catch himself and apologize for it a lot. his training is so fucking engrained into his very bones he feels guilty for taking off the shield even metaphorically for a few seconds.
"Do you really insist on staying on Belobog all the time? The city will not fall within a week of your absence. You could enjoy the universe now that the Jarilo-VI is reconnected."
yes or no game // accepting
well that was certainly a loaded question. how does one just answer with a yes or no? there was far more than went in to his duty than just a fear of everything going wrong the moment he leaves. conditioning, mostly, loyalty too. and a distant desire to not make anyone else do what he does. he wants to travel, sure, see more of the universe now that he has the option to. but he also doesn't want anyone to suffer in his absence...being selfish and taking vacation wasn't something gepard really knew how to do.
still, he weighs the question a moment. does he want to leave? yes. will he? he's not sure, "...no."
"Do you think everyone is worthy of redemption?" (ooc. For yes or no meme)
yes or no game // accepting
a hard one to answer. his gut reaction is to say yes, because everyone deserved a second chance. but...he's met some less than savory people in his life. even his own father...would he accept a sincere apology for all the man had put him through, if he were to ever give one? gepard sighs.
"I, ah... heard about the IPC. At least the outcome was... mostly favorable," Dan Heng replied delicately, but there was a wince in his voice. However, mention of the museum is what piqued his interest. "You have a museum now?" The boyish interest was obvious, an undertone of excitement. But-- "I'll admit, I couldn't see the Wardance. Luka Strongarm competed, didn't he? I know the Galaxy Ranger he competed against. I just hope there's no hard feelings; he's much kinder than he might appear."
favorable was a nice way to put it. gepard hadn't been exactly thrilled with the entire outcome, but it was the best they could have hoped for, considering the alternative, "yes, to spread belobog's rich history. i can take you on a tour, if you'd like," if he wasn't busy, that was.
"yes, mr. strongarm did compete. he did rather well, and we're very proud of him. still feels a little odd, though, thinking his face is out there in the stars...hopefully it will bring more income to belobog in the long run," the mention of a galaxy ranger catches his interest, luka having shared some of his stories when he returned, "i've heard about him, but i don't know much. you'll have to ask luka how he feels on the subject, but he seemed in good spirits when he returned."
Yanqing is excited, but of course he is keeping it all under wraps. This is an official task as a Cloud Knight Lieutenant and as General Jing Yuan's Retainer. Still, he is going to meet Captain Gepard Landau, a man he has heard about and look forward to meeting.
"Captain Landau, I'm Lieutenant Yanqing and I've been appointed to assist you during your visit on the Xianzhou Loufu," the teen greets him, a soft smile on his lips as he inclines his head a little. "I heard you are interested in the Cloud Knight training?"
it feels strange to be off planet, but gepard reminds himself he's here for work. lady bronya meeting with the general was expected after their trade agreements, he came to be her escort. but he can't be with her at all times, thus leading to the captain meeting...a young lieutenant. he couldn't have been older than lynx, judging by the look of him...the luofu must have a different system of recruitment, he muses. though, gepard had been able his age when he was already practically groomed for the guards...
he puts the thought aside for now, extending a hand for yanqing to shake, "it's a pleasure to meet you, lieutenant," he nods, "i feel it would be a missed opportunity to not study other stratagems and military practices while i'm here. but only if it doesn't disrupt your training schedule. i don't want to impose."
With the apple taken away, Sampo is able to move a bit. He crosses his leg over, and props his head on his arm. With his wrist as a headrest, Sampo closes his eyes. Laughing a bit as well. “I don't think I know my own motivations.” Then he opens his eyes once more. Staring away somewhat in a pensive way.
There was a job he had to do here. Get the most elation out of this doomed planet, get out before the stelleron explodes and move on to the next place. And yet… Jarilo-VI’s icy grip bound the thief. Familiar yet unfamiliar territory. People that were warm as the snow was cold. Overworlders as cold as the tundras outside the last beacon of humanity.
Why did he stay? Why did he put this much effort to a planet that hated him and wanted to see him dead?
His gaze returns to Gepard. The answer was always there. Right in front of him. The kindness that people gave made him want to believe in it. That it wasn't just a ploy or an act. It was sincere. Just as the Captain who was sitting on the medical cot.
“Apology accepted. And you're very welcome.” His eyes close again. Though this time there's a peaceful smile on his face. It remains on his features even as he speaks. A true smile, one that was reserved for close friends.
“I am glad you're still alive, Gepard. Even if you are a childish man.”
an odd feeling washes over him when sampo opens his eyes, turning to look at him. as if sampo were something stationary in his life, something he saw every day without really looking at it. it's only now, that he's stopped to look and sampo shows him a brief glimpse of something...genuine, does he feel he's actually seeing the man for the first time. and it makes his heart flop in his chest like a teenager discovering their very first crush.
it startles him, the little smile, one he's not seen before this moment. the tone of voice sampo uses, not for show or some teasing, but rather genuine. something so simple like i'm glad you're still alive makes his palms feel warm, his face and ears the same. sure, there were people in belobog who cared for him. but sampo seemed an unlikely source, and that makes it feel different.
he can only hold sampp's gaze for so long, casting his own eyes down to his lap as the tips of his ears burn in a blush. spends the next few moments trying to remind himself it's ridiculous to get flustered over genuine sentiment, sampo was just being kind. they weren't even friends, they just...had a mutual understanding of one another. that's all. of course.
"yes, well," he has nothing to say, just feels the need to fill the silence to not come off as flustered as he is, "it's takes more than some rocks and snow to kill me. and if...wanting to uphold honor, and righteousness makes me childish, then so be it. without morality, i would be no different than the monsters i fight."
"some changes, yes, that seems to put it lightly," he laughs a little, "a visit from the ipc, we have this new museum," he references around them, having met the trail blazer on one of his few shifts in the place, "and recently one of our own competed in a championship on the luofu. i believe you're familiar with it, yes?"
the thing with gepard is, it's not like he's unloved or anything - he's kind of a figure-head in belobog and he's well-known all things considered. people care about him, sure, but not to an extent beyond like...is the shield of belobog still kicking or no.
it reminds me of the hunger games (ignore i've been on a hg re-read kick lately) where the capital "loved" their tributes and victors but it was completely parasocial. it's not to that same extent, but gepard puts his work first almost always, it's hard to say he has a lot of people super, super close to him. it was (literally) beaten in to him since his teens that he was to put belobog first, the supreme guardian, the protection of his home, so when someone outside of his sisters genuinely asks "hey are you ok? you should take a break, be kinder to yourself" gepard just
??????????
it's hard to describe because on the one hand, the captain is loved, sure, but is gepard? hard to say. he struggles with self worth outside of the shield and i just think abt that a lot.
The knife is held up with his finger. A knowing smug is on the Fool's face. If Gepard thinks he trapped him, he had a other thing coming to him. Sampo tsks at him, wagging both the weapon and finger at him.
“No. Someone ruined my relationship to her.” That someone being Gepard. Not that he would hold it against him. Though he would be lying if he said he didn't miss the other Landau. She was, for a very long time, one of the few friends he had in Belobog.
Their relationship was one of the few things Sampo regretted in life.
The knife comes back down at the fruit, though this time Sampo goes a bit extra. Cutting it into a design. And as he did so, he spoke, very calmly. “I told you, I heard a few things. And while you might think of me as some cold-hearted criminal, I'm here to tell you I'm not.”
This time the apple slice is cut into the shape of a rabbit. Sampo holds it out for him to grab at it. There is a gentle look on his face as he stared at the Captain. “We're not enemies. I never thought of you as such.” If anything, he thought of Gepard as a rival of sorts. After all, every story needed a hero and a villain. Sampo simply fit into that role.
“So yes, I was worried. Sue me. But I promise you, you won't get anything worth of value. Just the clothes off my back.”
maybe he'd misunderstood. sampo implies someone and gepard can only assume who the man means. it wasn't like captain had specifically gone out of his way to make serval change her mind about the other, she even warned gepard about not trusting sampo too much, but...well. he sits and ponders it a moment. there was a lot about sampo that gepard just didn't know, if the events out in the plains was anything to go by. just as sampo didn't know eerything about gepard. only before, captain never considered getting to know them. now...perhaps he does.
"i...don't think that of you," he offers, though his voice is smaller than usual. maybe he did, somewhere back in the past. he doesn't now, though, "perhaps i don't understand your motives, and you give me quite the headache from time to time. but you've never intentionally hurt anyone, even evading arrest. i don't think you are cruel."
he takes the apple offered to him, turning the little carved fruit over in his fingers to get the full view. a little rudimentary, but he'd done it within a few seconds - sampo was obviously skilled with a knife. he hears sampo say they aren't enemies, and he can't help a little huff of amusement out of him, shaking his head, "apologies if that got miscommunicated when you put me on my back and called me a child," it's not said with ill-will, gepard understands the situation they had been in. just an observation - they were both learning about the others true nature, it would seem.
he takes a bit of the apple, though only one of the ears. it was almost too cute to eat entirely, "well i'm...sorry to have worried you," if feels odd saying, he's not used to people outside of his sisters genuinely putting his well-being first, "and thank you. for visiting."
He'll have to thank the Captain for being so socially aware. Ironically not one of the Captain's high points given he always seemed to butt into Sampo's business. It seemed at least he knew that this wasn't one of those things Sampo wanted to get into. Not at this point at least. Right now, they just needed to send off these four souls back into the snow.
Back into the cold ground to melt and become nature again. This time, or perhaps in a different lifetime, they could have a better life.
That was Sampo's sincerest wish.
Those gentle thoughts are cast aside when he hears an unfamiliar giggle. Following where it came from, Sampo sees it's from Gepard. It makes the thief smile in return. “Sorry was it a bit strong?”
He rubs the back of his head, almost bashfully. “We're… skipping a bit in the story. But where the boy is from, it's a drink people have when they bring in new family members. Honestly we should be thankful, the stuff they drank was concentrated and heavily potent. This is much lighter.”
A pause.
“If I knew I'd be sharing it… I would've gone with the weakest blend instead.”
immediately gepard would smack a hand over his mouth to muffle the sound - he couldn't think of anything more insulting than laughing during a toast to the dead. as he glances over at sampo, however, it doesn't appear to be too surprising to the man. as if he were expecting something like that. he goes on to talk about the boy again, this drink like a welcome for new family members...
was that was he was? a new member? it probably didn't work like that, but to share it with him at all...
instead of asking just what family it was the little boy had joined, what this implied, gepard doesn't get words out just yet. instead, he giggles again, the sound hard to completely drown out even behind the glove of his hand. his ears go red, he feels awfully silly not being able to control it. but the feeling of joy the beverage gives him is hard to match.
not to say gepard was never happy just...never this kind. it's light, but warm. as if suddenly content with everything around him. despite the circumstances of their recent understanding of one another, he's even happy he's here with sampo. learning more about the elusive thief from the stars. he doesn't feel guilt for this happiness, either. a rare occurrence for the captain.
eventually, he manages to clear his throat, glancing down at his feet and handing the bottle back over, trying to avoid the other's gaze. he feels sily, making such noises, but tries not to be insulting, "does this...mean i'm...an honorary member?" he asks between soft laughs. head cants down, blond bangs shifting in front of his face, "what a peculiar drink..."
