FOREVER & ALWAYS

[foreverandalwaystgth]

damn I was right

[forever-always-tjhh]

well ive been trying a video blog..wondering if theres a way i can post them without them being to the public. lols… ahh well things in my life…everythings going crazy good. im on track to make 5.5k take home a month right now. trucks having some problems but i got a few new parts. im out of this slum of being depressed and missing you all the time and like woah is me shit..which is really nice honestly. its weird ive been in such a grind for so long that when i step away and im like hey what do i want to do today. i really have to remake some hobbies in my life now.. kinda weird but fun. the weather here as been crazy. only rained enough for me to wear rain gear twice in the past 2 months. like holy cow its been sooo nice. loving the new go pro. gona make the journal blog with it. just wish there was a way to send them to you. but then again idk how you feel about it all. and honestly..lets get to that. i honestly feel like im the only one that wants us together. and ive talked it out with sooo many people now. holy smokes and its weird. cause in my heart im like hey i know tyrsa..i know shed never give up on me..or us shell always wants us right..ehh.. but my mind is like hey bud… she did give up on you..she left you..you guys were on two very different pages. about the relationship. and then what got me the most this week was. alright ill wait for my chance with her right.. wait a few years…right.. like…i really had to think about this…more then i wanted too. we are both at very different spots in our lives… my goals plans or whatever you want to say they are… get back in..get re bapistised..and then just become better..choir again spokesmen club all the little things..but legit my next big step..marriage.. i have a home..i have a job for life..like i get it,,im young and ahead of the game. everyone tells me that.. tim you got your shit together man dam.. but like am i willing to give up on the chance for mrs right to walk into my life..us start dating then 2 years later you come back in..and i get to make a choice of hey do i want to pick up where i left off or start with the new…and i know what i would pick..without a doubt..id pick you..but..even my own family threatened to kick my ass if i did.. and i cant blame them..none it all makes sense the timing anything..i get it..i know you..at least id like to say i do.. but part of me wonders now.. do i.. do you want me..or do you get a sick sense of me wanting you and you toying with it.. i feel like i want us to much..then im holding on so tight that im gona twist and break it all and just make it worse. im happier then ive ever been before and im so happy about it all. but im uneasy.. why.. because my heart says one thing..but logic says another. i loved you…i really did.. i still do..but am i willing to give up on mrs right…just to have you say no i dont want you anymore.. it was one thing when we were younger..like hey wait for me alright..ill wait for you..but now its not like that..and im forced to park my truck on the road of life and just enjoy a rest stop in order to be with the girl i love while she gets car to get started.. and i dont mean for any of this to come off rude or mean or like im throwing punches cause im not.. im in the most puzzled empty faced look ever. im happy but im lost in thought. im worried about you..but theres nothing i can do to help so whats the point in wasting my energy. ya know. like dont cry over spilled milk. idk im sure youll ready this and be mad at something or hell idk… and honestly.. idc anymore.. the one thing that scares me.. is i drop friends and people out of my life fast..like they were never even there..and youve seen that..and im trying so hard..with these videos and tumblr to try to hold on..but its like if you had the choice to put you hand in a 1 of 2 bags..one made it so you lost your arm..the other made it so you got 1 billion dollars..both are life changing.. but are you willing to do that or would you walk away? want if both bags you lose your arms. what if i wanted us more then you did.. what if i was just there to help you and move on.. maybe thats it… i once said..im here just to help and if that means im just in your life for a little bit and gone thats it..doubt youd rememeber that it was wayyy back. but ya.. maybe my time has come and gone.. but do i want it too…no.. not at all.. do i want us yes..would i wait..yes. but the question lies.. am i weight for snow to fall in summer? am i wanting something that wont happen..cant happen..doesnt want to happen.. hu idk.. but its thanksgiving week. so im smiling..making new friends and having fun.. wish you the best honestly do. hope things go good for you..really do. best of luck tyrsa.. for old friends sake alright.

[foreverandalwaystgth]

the one thing that stands out the most in this post is how you talking about missing your chance with MRS. Right. Like it’s a garunteed fact that you know it’s not me. I’m not Mrs. Right. You said so yourself. So why wait on someone who can’t be that for you. Go live your life. Go attract who was meant for you. Let her come to you and please ... don’t take her for granted this time.

[forever-always-tjhh]

Do you want to read these? Do you want to know how things are going or is it just best I disappear?

[foreverandalwaystgth]

whatever you do or don’t do will say all I need to know anyways. it’s whatevers in your best interest

[refuse2obeyy]

“Too full of life to be half loved.”

—

[prairiebones-deactivated2019012]

healing will come.

www.instagram.com/rhswaney

[thegoodvybe]

[xconsumed-by-darknessx-blog]

It may not feel like it but we really are trying

[emanuelee]

xx

[allthingsaboutloveandromance]

[cozypoems]

“1. Tell him how much you appreciate him. He almost certainly feels like he isn’t enough for you, and he deserves to know how truly grateful you are. 2. Let him know that you will always and unconditionally be there, even when it feels like the whole world is against him. He needs to know that you’re there for him just as much as he is for you. 3. Compliment him. Tell him how phenomenal of a kisser he is, or how muscular his back feels under your small hands. Let him know how handsome he is. Tell him he’s the sweetest person you know. Trust me, he needs it. 4. Be his cheerleader. Celebrate his successes, no matter how small, like he just won the lottery. Go to all of his games or presentations or performances, and kiss him like you mean it when they’re done. 5. Hold him while he’s crying. Wrap your arms around his neck and play with his hair. Be his shoulder to cry on, and let him know that this is okay. 6. Kiss him hard. Kiss him with so much passion that he smiles against your lips. Kiss his lips, his cheeks, his forehead, his hands, anywhere that will make him smile. 7. Tell him you love him when he’s happy, when he’s sad, or mad, or excited, or proud, or anxious, or even when you’re fighting. This will keep him strong throughout his days. I promise.”

— 7 Small Gestures to do for your Boyfriend. Boys Need Loving, too. 

[xxshekeepsmewarmxx]

I hope all of you get a partner that will hold you tightly in their arms, whispering “I’m here” softly in your ear while you’re laying in bed being at your worst

[goldennsuggestion]

i want to paint the skies

with the color of your laugh

so when i look up

i can find infinite beauty

[thegoodvybe]

[itallstartedwithakiss]

[itallstartedwithakiss]

[cutedatesuggestions]

cute date idea: we go camping up by the lake, and when the sun sets and everything quiets, we sit at the end of the docks and watch the night sky. we’ll hold hands and talk in low voices, feet lightly skimming the water as the stars reflect brightly in our eyes. we’re so in love, and god do we know it.

[myheartisinpoetry]

“I am lucky that in this short life I have you in my heart.”