All This and Heaven Too Part 2
I LIVE!!!!! Alright, Alright, Alright, by popular demand, I got another part to this, and since itâs in time with rqmission three thought Iâd make it about the holidays. Enjoy children. I missed missions 1 and 2 I think but I also have been non-existent on here. Hopefully I can come back.Â
@redqueenetwork Mission 3 â Happy Holidays
Itâs been weeks since Iâve last seen him, but it feels like itâs been years. Usually we will send letters to each other. They donât come fast enough though, and are far too susceptible to being stolen for us to truly send anything of importance. Due to the nature of his mission this time, I hadnât been allowed to contact him, and he had been banned from any contact with the outside world in general. The mission was complete though, and he could tell me all about it. I doubted he would want to talk about it after he heard the news I had.Â
I tucked my hands into the pockets of my coat, and buried my nose deeper in my scarf. The snow storm had kept most of the airships from landing, but the military pilots were either brave enough, or stupid enough to fly through the oncoming storm to land on the runway that some considered one of the most dangerous on the entire continent. I for one would not be caught dead trying to sit through landing on this runway. It was icy on a good day, and just the thought of the airship sliding off the runway and falling down from the peak was enough to panic me.Â
Still, I waited with the others. By this point, my toes were frozen, and my eyes had started watering from the cold. The wind picked up with a gust just as the ramp of the airship began to descend. My lips curled into a smile as the first people disembarked. A young girl sprinted to her mother, screaming as she threw her arms around her neck.Â
My stomach turned at the image, and through the fabric of my pocket, I brushed my fingers along the little bump between my hips. One step at a time Barrow, just see him first, I remind myself. See him first, welcome him home, then tell him.Â
Expelling a sigh, I watched my breath cloud in front of me. If he moved any slower he would be in reverse, I think as I watched another group come down without him in it. Slowly the little crowd around me thins, until there is just me and one other. She shifts her feet in the snow and gives me a little nervous smile. I catch sight of the shine of an engagement ring and try not to snort. Newly engaged, probably kissed him or her goodbye for the first time a few weeks ago. Sheâll get used to this. The goodbye never gets easier, but the waiting does. I didnât pace the hallways anymore, or lay awake at night imagining horrible situations. Some nights I did wake up in a cold sweat though, panic lacing through my bones like lightning. This trip was very different though.
Getting woken up to throw up for two hours certainly started the whole thing off well, and then finding out the knowledge that was growing like a bubble of warmth in my chest had kept me up for hours some nights. The terrifying question of what would happen if he didnât come back kept chasing my dreams away. Even the one I had had the first night, the one about the little boy again, this time though, I could actually reach out and touch him. He had felt so real in my arms, that I had woken up half expecting him to be there.Â
Finally, he comes down the ramp, rubbing his hands together and looking around. Each exhale is a puff of smoke. Even though I had already chuckled at the girl next to me bouncing excitedly, I canât fight the little noise I make as I sprint across the space between us. He spots me when Iâm ten steps away and drops his back from his shoulder as his eyes widen.
Still he catches me and laughs as I practically wrap myself around him. My hat falls off and the cold immediately bites at my ears. Heâs so warm though that it doesnât take long for the feeling to return to my fingers.Â
âIf not being able to write to you for a month generates this reaction, then I donât know if youâre ever going to get a letter from me again.â He teases as he slowly drops me back onto my feet. Keeping my arms around his neck, I narrow my eyes and admonish, âIâm not allowed to greet you like this?â
âYou and I both know this was excessive, even for you.â He says with a smile before leaning down to press his lips to mine. I return the kiss, before breaking it and bitterly saying, âTook you long enough to get off by the way, I was practically frozen by the time you did.âÂ
Smiling, he bends down to gather his bag. Tossing it over his shoulder, he wraps his arms around my shoulder as we start to make our way back across the tarmac to the little building where the transport is. âI wanted to see whether or not you came up the ramp looking for me,â he teases as we hurry our steps to escape the cold. I snort in amusement, but still smile as I lean into his warmth a little more.
(////)
The little townhouse we own is in the heart of the city, and it takes far too long to get there with all the traffic. The holidays are just around the corner, now that heâs back, and will be staying for as long as he can, we will have to decorate and plan for time with my family. I had spent careful hours picking out the gifts for my family this year. My motherâs gift was of course in answer to what I was going to be telling Cal today. She had already bemoaned that she only had one grandchild to dote over. I wonder what she would do when she heard about this one.Â
I stomp my boots on the doormat before unlocking the door and letting us into the house. He brushes the snow out of his hair, and steps over the threshold saying, âI see the heater is working just fine now.â
âI hounded the landlord until he fixed it. I think heâs terrified of me now.â I say with a smirk as I hang my scarf and coat up on the hanger by the door. He slips his jacket off as well before smiling up at me and saying, âThere are numerous people that are afraid of you for no reason what so ever.âÂ
Flicking his forehead as I pass I say, âyouâre included with them.âÂ
I bend down then to untie my boots and slip them off. He does the same next to me and grumbles, âI have a healthy dose of respect, not necessarily fear.â
Laughing at him, I rise from my crouch, and start toward the kitchen. We need warm drinks, well I do, specifically something with chocolate. I cross the tile floors which are cold even through my socks, and stand on my tip toes to reach one of the cabinets. Taking out mugs and the chocolate shaving Gisa had given to me as a gift a few months ago, I hum to myself.Â
Before I can turn and go the milk, he wraps me up in his arms from behind. I gasp at the sensation, and he chuckles before whispering, âIâve missed you.â Each word is punctuated with a kiss on my neck. Pushing his face away, I tease, âMaybe I shouldnât write to you anymore.âÂ
âDonât be mean,â he murmurs, pulling me back against him, earning a laugh as he runs his hands up my sides. He pauses for a second though, his lips halting on my neck. I wait for a moment, wondering if heâs piecing something together. Itâs not exactly like I can hide the fact that there is a new weight between my hips that wasnât there when he left. Itâs a much newer development, something even I was still trying to get used to.Â
âWhat?â I finally ask when he hesitates a second too long. He pulls away, rubbing at the back of his neck and turning white with a blush. I turn and smirk at him, preparing to tease him mercilessly for the thought that I knows is going through his head. I watch his eyes dart around for a few seconds while he calculates how much I might hurt him if he mentions what heâs noticed.
âNothing, nothing at all. I justââ He takes a hesitant step backwards, and I have no choice but to stalk after him and continue my little game. It certainly wasnât what I had originally had in mind for telling him, but I couldnât help but watch him squirm.Â
âJust what, Cal?â I ask as I follow him, batting my eyelashes as if I were about to cry. He points a threatening finger at me and says, âDonât do that, itâs weird.âÂ
âWhatâs wrong? Why are you acting like this?â I continue to advance until Iâve pinned him completely in a corner. Like a mouse he tries to wiggle his way out, stammering and stuttering like a teenage boy. Eventually he cant find another way out and says, âDid you⊠put on weight?âÂ
He blushes white all the way to the tips of his ears. I step up on my toes and setting my fists on my hips, I ask, âWhat do you think?âÂ
Opening his mouth to reply, he inhales and then closes his mouth quickly, his lips drawing into a tight line. He watches me for a moment before smiling softly and saying softly, âI think itâs completely fine.âÂ
I frown then, and reply, âthatâs not what my question meant.âÂ
He had settled, happy to have dissuaded what he thought would make me explode with anger. But my new comment makes his eyes widen and his skin pale again. Rubbing at the back of his neck, he asks, âWhat exactly are you asking about?â
âYou tell me, what do you think Iâm talking about?â I tease him as I poke at his chest. He catches my hand, and closes his fingers around it. Shaking his head softly, he says, âMare Iââ His eyes widen for a moment, and he glances down at me before continuing softly, âdo I get three guesses.âÂ
âI donât think you need that many,â I reply with a smile. His eyes widen further, until I worry for a moment they might pop of his head. Without a warning, he lets out a whoop that sounds horribly like something my brothers would do, and bends down to wrap his arms around my legs and scoop me off the ground.
I laugh for a moment, shocked at the feeling, as he looks up at me and asks breathlessly, âYouâre sure?â
âPositive,â I whisper with a smile that makes my cheeks ache. He lets me slide down until Iâm on my toes and hugging me close he says breathlessly into my hair, âI donât even⊠I donât even know what to say, or feel, or think.âÂ
âWell I hope excited is in there somewhere.â I murmur into his shoulder where my face is being squished. My stomach flutters with nerves and excitement as he pulls away quickly and reaches out with a trembling hand. He lets it hover above my stomach, his eyes misting for a moment. Taking it softly, I rest it on my stomach and whisper, âItâs okay if you donât feel that yet though.âÂ
âIâm⊠Iâm beyond excited,â he beings, a choked laugh managing to escape as he spreads his fingers on my sweater and explores the bump that is only going to get bigger. He pauses for a moment though, his eyes coming up to mine as he murmurs, âBut, I thought you were still taking the pills.âÂ
Reaching up to wrap my arms around his neck I press a kiss to his cheek and reply apologetically, âI sort of made an executive decision the morning of Kilornâs wedding. I guess, I guess I decided that I didnât want to live in fear anymore.âÂ
And I had been afraid, terrified for so long. The moment I had found out I was pregnant, Iâd broken into a sweat and sobbed. How could I have let this happen? How could I have possibly doomed some poor unfortunate child to being mine, to have to deal with all the horrible side effects that came with being my child? What if by simply allowing them to come into existence, I had doomed them?Â
Iâd cried for hours on the edge of our bathtub, wondering if I deserved this gift, this joy after all the horrible things Iâd done. But it had changed so quickly, so quickly when I had sat with the thought for a while. This was a gift, the universe possibly paying me back for all of the horrible things that I had gone through. I had been happy, so very happy that Iâd cried again.Â
Reaching up to push the strands of hair that had fallen out of my braid behind my ear, Cal teases, âAny more executive decisions I should be aware of?âÂ
Shaking my head, I feel a fresh set of tears start to fall as I remember the storm of emotions that had rolled through me with the discovery of the life growing inside of me. Wiping them away with his thumbs, Cal asks, âAm I going to have to deal with a very emotional Mare Barrow for the next few months?â
Sniffling, I reach up with the sleeve of my sweat and wipe at my eyes and nose, grumbling, âDonât make fun of me, I get a few pass for being emotional for the next five months.â
He laughs, before pulling me into another tight hug, bringing a fresh sob from me as he does so. Running his fingers through my hair he whispers, âYouâre going to be a great mother. I can feel it.âÂ
âDonât you dare say that, cause then I will actually start crying,â I hiccup, before burying my nose in his shirt and inhaling his smell. He was home, and he was going to be staying for a long time. Besides, I wasnât planning on letting him leave anymore. Â
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