Former Incel

36 year old autistic white male. Incel during teen years. I created this blog in order to explain to incels where they're going wrong and to explain how to prevent your friends or children from becoming incels. I've read about half of Elliot Rodger's manifesto. Many posts on this blog will be about parts of his manifesto.

[former-incel]

You touch a woman and she appears to like it.

Another time when you see her, you touch her again in a similar way and she finds it creepy.

You may be wondering why this is happening. She liked it at first. So what changed?

The difference is that the first time it happened, you were carefully trying to read her boundaries. You were slowly experimenting to find out what she likes and what she doesn't. You started out using the default setting of how people in general should interact with people in general, and you then slowly increased the physical contact while each time making sure she has a reasonable way out. You were paying attention to what she initiates in order to make sure it's not one sided. Meanwhile, the second time, you were just copying the parts that you liked from the first time. The first time, you were doing everything the correct way. The second time, you went in with expectations.

When something happens that feels good to you, it's natural that you'd want to recreate it. But you have to recreate the conditions that made her like it. You can't just recreate only the parts you like. You have to carefully read her boundaries again just like you did the first time. Also, you won't always be able to recreate it. It's possible that what happened is something that she only wanted to happen once. It's possible that she's not in a touchy mood this time. It's possible that she now has a romantic partner or is now looking for one. And there are many other reasons for someone's boundaries to change.

[inceltear]

Showed them 🤡😭

View on Reddit

Credit to the original poster OrangeDuckFromStLou who posted this on r/IncelTears on June 3rd, 2026 at 3:11 PM UTC.

[former-incel]

This is why children need to be taught from a very young age to know the difference between individual and systemic rejection.

The woman depicted in this photo is being an asshole. She's treating him like he's objectively unattractive. She expects him to assume in advance that a woman wouldn't be interested in him. If she simply rejected him for access to her while doing nothing to hinder his interactions with other women, she'd be doing nothing wrong.

An incel often doesn't know the difference between individual and systemic rejection. Whenever he gets rejected, even if it's by someone who only personally doesn't like him and who does not hold him back from finding others who do like him, he sees it as comparable to being labeled as objectively unattractive. He'll often complain about "why are women allowed to have a height preference but I'm not allowed to have a weight preference" even though her height preference is a simple "I'm not interested in you" while his weight preference is "You're gross. You shouldn't be allowed to dress like that in public. I'm going out of my way to broadcast my lack of interest in you even though you never proposed anything that requires me to be interested in you".

[inceltear]

Dont know what to say so I’ll just leave this here.

View on Reddit

Credit to the original poster OrangeDuckFromStLou who posted this on r/IncelTears on June 1st, 2026 at 11:57 PM UTC.

[former-incel]

What exactly is the point of the original image?

A woman rejects you, you accept that and move on, and you then find another woman who's attracted to you?

This incel can literally just take his own advice.

[former-incel]

"Just be confident, bro"... Is Pure GASLIGHTING

It's absolutely true that "just be confident" doesn't work. The solution is accuracy, not confidence.

Some men approach women with too little confidence and assume that no woman could possibly want him. Some men approach women with too much confidence and interpret everything as a sign of interest. Both will fail.

It is true that more women prefer tall men than short men. But that's just a statistic. Each individual is wildly different. Some women want a big strong protector and some women want to be the strong one. Some women want a provider and some women want to be independent. Some women want a rich man and some women believe that all rich people are evil. Some women want a bodybuilder and some women prefer dad bods. Some women want a tall man and some women want to tower over their short king. There's no trait that's universally attractive.

I've seen multiple Instagram accounts of couples in which the woman is much taller than the man, and of very tall women who are single and openly prefer to be with a man much shorter. And those men are not celebrities.

And as I've seen in many of your videos, you need to stop assuming that other people's problems are already solved. LGBT people are not just handed support. You know how much you hate when other people say "my problems are real and short men's problems are not"? That's exactly what you're doing when you assume that your problems as a short man are real and other oppressed people's problems are not.

[theconcealedweapon]

If you notice that a man is respectful of women, please don't assume that it's because he was "raised right".

He could have been raised by abusive parents, struggled to understand right and wrong because of them, then figured it out after finding a better source of information and role models.

He easily could have become that way despite how he was raised, not because of how he was raised.

[former-incel]

Incels often argue that because they missed out on social interactions in their teenage years because of social awkwardness or bullying, their lack of experience makes them more compatible with teenagers.

But that's not how it works.

The world is filled with damaged adults. You have a lot more in common with damaged adults than with teenagers. You're much more likely to be understood by damaged adults than by teenagers.

You're trying to heal the damage from your teenage years. You have a lot in common with other adults who are also trying to heal the damage from their teenage years. You have very little in common with someone who's living their teenage years for the first time.

If you missed out on typical teenage experiences and you now want to make up for lost time, you can do that. But you can do that by finding adults who also missed out on typical teenage experiences and now want to make up for lost time. And they're everywhere. The only thing you'd gain by dating a teenager is having power over someone.

[inceltear]

Short men aren’t real men apparently

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Credit to the original poster Jukeaways who posted this on r/IncelTears on May 28th, 2026 at 7:14 PM UTC.

[former-incel]

Here we have someone systemically rejecting short men. They're telling short men that they're objectively unattractive and that no one will ever want them. They're literally telling short men to kill themselves.

And who's saying that? Is it an "evil foid"? No. It's an incel.

When a woman who prefers tall men is pursued by a short man, usually she'll just reject him so he can move on and find another woman who likes "short kings". It's very rare for her to say anything near as cruel as this.

Men enforce the cruelty, and women get blamed for it.

[inceltear]

Ayo what 🤣🤣🤣

View on Reddit

Credit to the original poster JonathanJoestar336 who posted this on r/IncelTears on May 29th, 2026 at 10:17 AM UTC.

[former-incel]

I see this a lot with incels. The logic here seems to be that if it's okay for the government to force people to give money to those who need it, then it's okay for the government to force people to give sex to those who need it.

But there are important parts that are being missed here.

Taxes are not just taking from those who have and giving to those who need. Taxes are the dues you pay for living in a society. Those who are adamant against paying taxes should be allowed to live in the wild. But those who want the benefits of living in a society (especially rich people who destroy competition with patents and have the police protect their ownership of more property than they can use in their lifetime) absolutely have a duty to pay taxes.

Also, while resources can be rationed based on need, a person's body cannot. Even if someone would literally die without sex, no one can be compelled to give it to them. It's also why you can't be compelled to donate organs even when you're dead. It's also why it's an act of tyranny to ban abortion and force people to be pregnant against their will. You can limit how much property someone can own or require them to pay a portion of it to the society that allowed them to obtain it, but a person's body is 100% theirs and no one can use it without their consent even in a life or death scenario.

There's also a difference between what can be expected from society and what can be expected from an individual person. You'll notice that many people advocate for a society that provides homes to homeless people, but no one advocates for individuals to be compelled to let a homeless person live in their home. Sexual activity is also something that it's wrong to deny someone on a systemic level but okay to deny someone on an individual level. Being labeled as objectively unattractive is oppressive. Being told that you shouldn't be allowed to reproduce is oppressive. The media normalizing finding you unattractive is oppressive. But an individual denying you access to only them, even if many individuals do the same, is not oppressive.

[former-incel]

I'm your disabled classmate. You ask me to be your prom date. Or you get a bunch of people to flirt with me, include me, or otherwise show interest in me. You think you're doing something nice.

But all you're really doing is throwing off my ability to read signs of interest and making it seem like it's impossible for anyone to genuinely like me.

It feels good at first. I'm used to just going to school and going home, so it feels good to get invited somewhere. I'm used to being alone because no one likes me or because I don't know how to initiate interactions the correct way, so it feels good to have people approach me. I'm used to having zero chance of dating because everyone finds me weird or because I can't read signs of interest consistently enough to be able to pursue a partner, so it feels good to have someone attractive flirt with me or ask me to be their prom date.

But where does it go from there? Do I assume that you like me, try to continue the flirting or attempts at friendship, and have you see me as a stalker or creep? Or do I assume that you're just being nice and don't actually like me, stay away from you, and go right back to being hopelessly alone?

And think about how my family will treat me. If I complain to them about being disliked, they'll use your "charitable favor" as evidence that I'm just being negative. Then, when your act of "kindness" stops and I go back to being alone, they'll never again believe me when I desperately go out of my way to explain my struggles to them.

Stop treating me like a charity case. If you don't find me attractive or enjoyable to be around, then stay out of my way so I can find those who do. I deserve a chance to have people who genuinely want to be my friend or romantic partner. If that isn't you, that's fine. But don't act like you're doing something nice by pretending to like me.

[former-incel]

19K views · 914 reactions | 7 body language signs someone doesn’t like you #bodylanguage #enemy #frenemy #communicationskills #signals | Liz

7 body language signs someone doesn’t like you #bodylanguage #enemy #frenemy #communicationskills #signals

It's often hard to find good advice when neurodivergent traits are mistaken as signs of disinterest.

The only one that has any truth to it is that lack of reciprocation is a sign of disinterest. If you're initiating all of it and putting in all of the effort and they're only responding as if they have to, then that's a sign of disinterest.

Closed lip smiles? Some people think their teeth are ugly and don't like to show them. Some people just naturally don't show their teeth when they smile.

Facing you but not making typical eye contact? That's easily a neurodivergent trait.

Sighing? That could have so many meanings.

Their response lacks emotion? They could just be tired. Or they could just not show emotion in typical ways.

They light up when talking to someone else and not to you? Maybe they feel the need to mask their neurodivergence around others but feel safe being themself around you.

Instead of looking for typical signs that often won't apply to neurodivergent people (who you'd likely be more compatible with), pay attention to what they make easier and what they make harder. Someone who notices you doing something and makes it easier most likely wants you to continue doing it. Someone who notices you doing something and makes it harder most likely wants you to stop.

[former-incel]

Treat women in a way that pisses off your mother.

Both the Bad Boy and the Douchebag would agree with this. But there's an enormous difference.

The Douchebag pisses off his mother by being sexist.

The Bad Boy pisses off his mother by rebelling against her bigoted and authoritarian bullshit while respecting women as a whole.

[inceltear]

Holy victim mentality

View on Reddit

Credit to the original poster Michi-Ace who posted this on r/IncelTears on May 19th, 2026 at 11:16 AM UTC.

[former-incel]

There absolutely are genocides of "ugly" men.

Disabled people, black people, homeless people, and gender non-conforming people are all groups that are frequently seen as "ugly" and have been genocided at some point.

This is what incels do. They take perfectly legitimate problems and twist those problems into excuses to hate women.

Yes, those systemically deemed as "ugly" are oppressed. But the solution isn't anti-feminism or stopping people from having individual preferences. Oppression of those deemed as "ugly" existed long before feminism, and there's nothing wrong with individually finding someone unattractive as long as you don't recruit others to also find them unattractive.

[former-incel]

"This is just another autism blog. Incels wouldn't find these posts helpful at all."

Dude. I don't want incels to find my posts helpful. If a group of dangerous men who want to legalize rape read my blog and instantly saw me as their hero, I'd have to be doing something seriously wrong in order for that to happen.

I don't care about them. I care about the men who are mistreated by society and are vulnerable to their propaganda.

[former-incel]

Neurotypicals: "Just ask. The worst that can happen is that they say no."

Neurotypicals: "Asking for that is rude. You should have known that. What's wrong with you?"

[former-incel]

If you see that a woman needs help, there are some situations in which it's better for you to not help her in order to avoid being seen as a harasser.

If you've previously made her uncomfortable and she's made it clear that she wants no interactions with you, and there are other people who can help her, then you should let one of them help her.

If she specifically asks for someone else's help, then you should stay out of it and let that person help her.

If you're unable to help because helping requires some kind of expertise that you don't have and someone else does, then you should let the other person help her.

But under normal conditions, there's no reason why you can't help her.

There are some rules you should follow in order to avoid imposing on her if you decide to help. It's better to ask first before you touch her or her belongings, especially if the belonging is a disability aid and should therefore be treated as part of her body.

If something heavy falls on her and is trapping her, it's most likely a good idea to move it in order to free her. But you should ask before you grab her to help her stand up, because she may be injured and moving her could make it worse.

Also, make sure she actually needs help. If she slips and falls and drops something, she'd probably appreciate being helped. If she's just carrying something and you think she needs help because you consider what she's carrying to be too heavy for a woman, then she doesn't need your help.

But I'm guessing this post is not about genuine concern for making sure you don't impose when you try to help. You seem like you're just trying to punish women for not letting you sexually harass them.

[former-incel]

When giving reassurance, it's better to be scientific, not optimistic. Being optimistic will make it seem like you're just saying whatever sounds nice.

For example, if someone complains that no one will ever want to be with them because they're ugly, short, fat, or weird, an optimistic response would sound like this:

But you're so beautiful/handsome! Anyone would be lucky to be with you! Anyone who makes you feel bad about yourself is wrong!

That's not helpful at all. It sounds like just some nice bullshit that you say to anyone in order to feel like you're helping.

A scientific response would sound like this:

Think about all the times when you're in a public place, you see someone who you're not at all attracted to, and you find out that they're in a relationship or married. That shows that there's no universal standard for what's considered attractive. There are people who are statistically more or less attractive than others, meaning that there are much greater or much fewer people who find them attractive, but each individual person's standards of attractiveness vary wildly. It's highly unlikely that anyone has exactly zero people who find them attractive. Also, the group of people who find you attractive, regardless of whether it's many people or few people, is random. Someone who you find attractive is just as likely to find you attractive as someone who you don't find attractive is.

This gives actual reassurance in a scientific way. It's not dismissively positive. It doesn't deny any struggles they may have. It doesn't treat their problem as if it's entirely caused by a lack of confidence. It treats accuracy as the solution instead of positivity.

[former-incel]

This is systemic rejection.

It is true that people shouldn't settle for someone they're not attracted to. And it is true that many women currently are settling and deserve to be reassured that they don't have to settle.

But you can't assume that someone is settling just because you don't find their partner attractive. You're not in the relationship. Your standards of attractiveness mean jack shit, even if your standards are considered "normal".

If you don't find someone attractive, you can choose not to date them. But you don't get to make that choice for someone else.