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When you're raised religious and then you find pickup artists, it can be very difficult to understand women.
And that's because religious people and pickup artists both have detailed beliefs about women that they're very confident about. And despite their beliefs being very much different from each other, they're both enormously wrong.
Pickup Artist Lies
Pickup Artist Lie: Attractive women are out of your league.
What's Actually Happening: Attractive women are just as likely to like you as anyone else is. The difference is how you treat attractive women. You're likely to pursue the most attractive woman when you have even the tiniest chance, while you'd pursue someone less attractive only if you knew you had a connection. Her attractiveness can throw off your ability to accurately read signs of interest, causing you to overestimate or underestimate, while it's easier to read the signs objectively when her attractiveness isn't overwhelming. But if you're able to read her signs of interest objectively, you'd actually have a better chance with someone you find attractive. After all, you'd want her to feel attractive when she's around you.
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Pickup Artist Lie: You should pursue less attractive women because they're more likely to settle for you.
What's Actually Happening: This is just a fantasy men have so they can continue to be assholes while pretending that there are women who will take their interest as a favor. But that doesn't actually happen. Women you don't find attractive are still allowed to have standards and preferences that don't include you. Also, if she dates you only because she lacks confidence, then if she ever gains confidence, she'll lose interest in you fast.
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Pickup Artist Lie: Attractive women are overconfident and full of themselves.
What's Actually Happening: That's not possible because there's no objective standard for what's attractive. You finding someone attractive does not mean other people also do, and you not finding someone attractive does not mean other people also don't. Also, even if someone is attractive now, they may have been unattractive in the past and have trauma from how they were treated then. There's no reason to "knock her down a few notches".
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Pickup Artist Lie: You should "catch and release", meaning that you should manipulate her by withdrawing your interest in order to make her seek your approval.
What's Actually Happening: If you're unsure of whether she likes something you're doing or if you worry that she may feel like you're doing it too much, it's probably best to stop or do it less and see how she responds to that, then pay attention to whether she initiates it or makes it easier for you to do. But if you know that she likes something you're doing, there's no reason to stop. Stopping would only be taken as a sign of disinterest, which would cause her to move on.
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Pickup Artist Lie: You must avoid the friend zone.
What's Actually Happening: Pickup artists want you to have zero women as friends so you won't understand women and will pay for more pickup artist advice. They want you to see friendship as detrimental to your pursuit of getting laid. But even if you only care about getting laid, you'd benefit from having women as friends. Having women as friends would make it easier to understand them. Women seeing you around other women would make them feel safer around you. Women who aren't attracted to you can still have a friend who is. You can still flirt with your friends who don't want to have sex with you as long as they consent to each individual act of flirting. And it's even possible for a friend to eventually become a romantic or sexual partner (but considering that many people have hundreds of friends but very few romantic or sexual partners, you have to acknowledge those odds).
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Pickup Artist Lie: Women start judging you the second they see you.
What's Actually Happening: Women immediately judge you based on signs of whether you're safe. If you stare at the same woman for ten minutes straight, or if you follow a woman all over the place and don't know her, or if you're getting too close to women without their knowledge or consent, they will absolutely judge you for that. They have to in order to keep themselves safe, because they've likely had bad experiences with dangerous men and need to look for patterns to protect themselves. It's possible to do something dangerous by accident, and to avoid that you should read stories women share about their bad experiences with men so you know what to avoid. But if you're not doing anything dangerous, most women won't judge you. If you're at a bar, she'd probably be too drunk and stoned to care if some random man who just walked in is Demonstrating High Value or Demonstrating Low Value.
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Pickup Artist Lie: You must hide your autistic traits because women consider them turnoffs.
What's Actually Happening: Pickup artists usually don't say it with those exact words, but they'll often say to avoid Demonstrating Low Value then make it seem like your autistic traits are examples of that, and it's very easy to fall for that if your autism is undiagnosed. But women can be autistic also. Being openly autistic in a way that doesn't hurt anyone can actually make autistic women feel safer. When you're unapologetically yourself, you allow others to do the same.
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Pickup Artist Lie: If you're indecisive, women will be turned off because they want a real man who takes charge.
What's Actually Happening: It's not a turnoff because of gender roles. It's a turnoff because by placing the responsibility on them to make the decisions for the two of you, you're making it so it's their fault if something goes wrong or if it's not enjoyable. Ideally, you should be sharing that responsibility.
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Pickup Artist Lie: Showing vulnerability is a turn off.
What's Actually Happening: A certain amount of vulnerability is attractive, especially if it's in a way she finds relatable. It only becomes a problem when the onus is on her to cure your vulnerability, because that puts emotional labor on her.
Escape Artist Frees Self From Conversation With Pickup Artist
Abstract Pickup [Explained]
Transcript Under the Cut
have you seen the video of a "dating coach" reacting to larry? he watched the Paris interview and said they were just being "friendly" and that made me feel kinda bad because that interview used to be my favorite.
Hi anon,
I’ve seen that video, so let me do you one better. I’m a dating dating coach too. In fact, I’m way better qualified than that moron. And you know what I see in that Paris interview? Two young boys who are in love. Who share great intimacy with each other. Who clearly have a deep level of adoration for each other. Who, despite directly being instructed to not tell/show people they were dating, couldn’t help how in love they were with each other. They had to be close. They had to touch. They treated each other with so much tender care. They had fun with each other. They were close friends. Lovers. They could communicate with their eyes. They looked at each other’s faces and simply smiled. They watched each other do silly things and admiration poured from their eyes. They felt well cared for by their boyfriend. They said their boyfriend treated them really well. I see two boys, one aged 18 and the other 20, who were head over heels in love with each other. Who demonstrate all the signs of young, pure, first love. True love.
And btw, that guy, the “dating coach”, just rebranded himself as that. He’s one of those original ‘pickup artists’, who used to do gross videos about how guys could get girls to sleep with them. Yeah. Turns out you don’t need any real qualification to be a “dating coach” on the internet. And making videos about famous people actually gets you lots of views, especially if one of them is the Harry Styles. smh
February 18, 1986 — see Garfield Fat Cat 3-Pack #5
Based on a true event
Why do MRAs get so butt hurt when you compare them to pickup artists?
Because pickup artists are explicitly sexist and many of the “reasonable” MRAs are trying to claim that they’re not sexist, not like those people over there. Now, MRAs are not necessarily pickup artists and pickup artists are not necessarily MRAs, but there is a LOT of overlap between these two communities. @evilelitest2 recently asked an MRA for a list of books that are “MRA canon” as it were, and the guy linked to a reddit post which contained what the poster referred to as a “game guide” which as you’ll notice is a pickup artist term. And this was linked to him as being representative of the best in MRA thought–we didn’t go looking for this. Also all the books were pretty explicitly sexist. One description the poster provided for a book was: “Explains how maintaining Patriarchy is important for maintaining civilization.” But this isn’t a sexist organization, oh no. Where could I possibly have gotten that idea?
Hey there, Piuckup Artists! I have the ABSOLUTE best way to seduce a woman. Turn into a swan. Trust me, my source on this is good ;)
