All black. Everything. @forneverminded - Tumblr Blog

I want to feel anything more than this endless sadness.

I wanna feel, at least once, that I’m loved, that I am enough, that I am wanted.

What they say: "I love you."

What I hear: "I will only love you if you're easy to be around."

I can’t wait for the day I’ll be able to leave this household

It sucks knowing I wasted my youth on someone so disappointing.

I’m lame, but you’re a fucking letdown.

I hope you never feel that hole in your chest, I hope you never feel the loneliness and emptiness that it entails.

I hope you are cherished and know you’re important, I hope you feel loved.

I hope you don’t wake up crying and scared every night, I hope you have someone to hold you.

I hope you never have to beg for help, for a shoulder to lean on, I hope you never have to beg for love.

I hope you never get to experience the world as it really is, for no one deserves that kind of pain.

If they lie they don’t love you.

If they cheat they don’t love you.

If they gaslight you they don’t love you.

Torturing myself looking at wedding dresses I will never wear.

Stop asking why I keep messing everything up, I don’t know either.

And remember friends:

If something feels particularly odd, trust your instincts because something is definitely going on!

How can you love me when I don't even like myself?

Of course I know I am too much you don’t need to repeat it.

I’m back!

And sadder than ever!

I am alone, hopeless, dreamless and heartbroken. And worse of all, fat as fuck.

And I cry

All black. Everything.